Puzzle Pieces //
Chapter One: “All My Friends” (Chaos)
Summary: Rooster remembers what is was like to lose the love of his life even for a brief moment. So when his brother in arms is facing an uncanny experience? He knows what do do to keep Jake afloat.
Warnings: Bradley Bradshaw x Reader!Chaos. Trauma release, hospitalisation, recovery process.
Word Count: 3.2k
Season One of Chaos | Season One of To have & To Hold. | Season Two Puzzle Pieces
“Shit—no, no, no, no—hey Y/n you stay with me yeah?” Rooster felt the blood on his hands as it seeped through your flight suit. “Don’t do this, we’re good? Yeah? You're alright—“
“I’ll marry you.” Choking it out as blood leaked from your mouth. “Don’t think, just do.” Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you lost it completely, following whatever force was pulling you away.
“Hey!” Bradley Bradshaw felt like his whole world had stopped spinning in the moments where you laid lifeless in his arms, limp like all that made you, you, had been sucked from your soul. “Chaos! Hey Y/n! Wake up baby come on don’t do this to me don’t you do this.” He cried. Rocking with you back and forth lightly slapping your cheek to try to gain your attention. “No baby—don’t go, don’t leave me, not now.”
“Bradshaw—“ Jake was the first person by Bradley’s side as Hondo and Phoenix cleared wandering eye on lookers. “You gotta let her go man so the medics can do their job.”
“Get the fuck off me!” Rooster hissed as he snapped back at Jake, shrugging his hand from his shoulder. Turning back to his wife, Jake pressed his lips together as she radioed for the ship's marshal to come and give his assistant in restraining the clearly distressed aviator. “Hey, you're not helping her by holding up medical attention, Rooster, let her go so she has a chance.”
“Touch me or Chaos and I’ll kill you Seresin and that’s a goddamn promise.” Rooster hadn’t let his grip on your faulter—it was only when the Marshal grabbed him from under the armpits and dragged him away did the medical team get a chance to hover over your lifeless body and begin CPR. Trying to restart your heart as the helicopter prepared for emergency evacuation.
“CHAOS!!” Rooster can remember the moment he thought he’d never see you again. Being dragged across the flight deck of the carrier away from you. Jake by his side—Hawkeye on the other. “Y/n! No—! No let go of me you son of a bitch! CHAOS!!” In the silence of the rec room back at base Bradley could hear his own screams vividly, echoing through his mind like a broken record stuck on a scratched loop.
“HEY!” Jake shouted as he stepped into the dorm the marshal had detained the very obviously distraught Lieutenant in. “Bradshaw? You listening?” If Bradley really focused, he swore he could still feel the slap Jake cracked out against his cheek while he was in the middle of pacing back and forth, up and down the length of the cabin. Jake's hands on his shoulders as he shook him back to reality—out of his own head. “You don’t get to fall apart, not now—not until you know she’s good, you got that?” Jake said with the tough love Rooster needed, all for him to back track just for five seconds. “I’ll give you five seconds to get it out of your system but that’s all you get before you suck it up and be the rock she needs you to be—do I make myself clear?”
Without a second of hesitation Rooster's knees buckled under the weight of his world shattering into a million pieces around him. He couldn’t breathe enough to shout or cry, he just fell into a heap as Jake caught him. Brothers in arms. The blood on Bradley’s hands stained Jake's flight suit as he gripped his forearms, linked through trauma, bonded by blood. Your blood.
As Bradley watched the off road medivac pull up beside the ambulance which was waiting and ready to go, he saw Jake stumble out, standing there with hopeless eyes. Distraught and beyond stunned at the situation unfolding around him. As his feet took him in the direction of the ambulance, Rooster saw Coyote splayed out on the stretcher—the first out of the medivac and into the ambulance. There was a lady sitting on his pelvic giving him compressions, constantly and without hesitation as she most likely broke ribs to keep his heart beating at a steady pace. Working overtime to keep him alive.
It was then as Jake stepped back like he was too afraid to go near his wife, Bradley Bradshaw caught the first glimpse of Commander Hawkeye Seresin. Passed out but very much breathing and alive as they wheeled her straight passed and into the back of the ambulance. Her flight suit was covered in blood.
“Hangman—?” Bradley placed a hand on Jake's shoulder and he jumped near seven feet in the air before realising it was Rooster. “She’s gonna be okay, they both will.”
“She doesn’t remember us.” Was all Jake had to say before Rooster saw the tell tale signs of a broken man about to lose his mind. “Can’t remember ever being here, she—she.” Bradley stood before Jake, hands on his shoulders steadying the slightly shorter, more stoic aviator. “I can’t lose her—not now, not again.” Jake Seresin felt like he was reliving his worst nightmare all over again, except ten times worse than ever before.
It was the tears that gave it away more than anything as Rooster saw his friend crumbling the same way he had not a few weeks ago. The same thing strickening the two of them—the love they felt for two of the most beautiful women they had ever known. Crumbling them into diminished versions of themselves, hopeless without their significant others.
“Jake?” Bradley hissed to no response as Jake zoned out, caught in the vortex of the possibility he’d lost the love of his life, again. “HEY!” The sudden stinging sensation against Hangman's cheek brought him back to earth as Bradley stood before him. “You don’t get to fall apart, not now—not until you know she’s good, you got that?” Bradley said with the tough love he knew Jake needed, all for him to back track for just a moment. Knowing he needed just a moment to let it out. “I’ll give you five seconds to get it out of your system but that’s all you get before you suck it up and be the rock she needs you to be—do I make myself clear?”
Jake recognised Bradleys words as his own but paid no attention to the parallel playing out before him as his knees felt weak. Jake crumbled into Bradley’s arms, screaming out a painful cry for help as the woman he loved was taken away along with his best friend and brother. The blood on Jake's hands stained Roosters Normex, your blood—now brothers in arms.
“Come on, I’ll take you to the hospital—“ Bradley hated the sob that escaped past Jake's parted lips as he tried to pull himself together, kneeling on the tarmac wiping his tears. “Hawks stronger than you give her credit for, so is Javy—they’re gonna be okay.”
“Rooster—I can’t fucking do this.” Jake sighed as he lost vision of the ambulance his wife didn’t want him in. She couldn’t remember the love they found again over the last few weeks, he knew it was a trauma response but what if she never remembered? That terrified him. “I don’t know how to do this?”
“There’s no play by play guide for this shit Jake.” Rooster groaned as he helped Jake to his feet, dusting him off before slinging his arm around his shoulder for support. Jake's entire world had just been turned on its head and if anyone knew that feeling it was Bradley Bradshaw. “You just gonna put one foot in front of the other.”
***~***~***~***~***~
“I never thought I'd be so happy to roam the halls of a hospital before.” Your mother Sarah stood behind your wheelchair pushing you slowly through the halls of the general populations ward of the Miramar Base Hospital. She smiled for a brief moment at your optimism, thankful her only daughter was still alive and recovering as well as you could be for someone who’d run up a pretty extensive injury list that would require months if not years of physical therapy.
Sarah could remember the call she received from Bradley Bradshaw himself when he was giving permission to let your loved ones know what had happened. Usually the Navy would send someone to inform the family of those who’d been critically injured, but Rooster–carrying his own guilt about the events, wanted to be the one to inform her himself. He said that Tom would have respected that. It didn't hurt any less though, still knowing that you were somewhere over the Pacific Ocean being transported to the nearest hospital, fighting for your life. If anything Roosters call from on board the carrier just saved taxpayers a pretty penny.
“Can you go a little faster mum? I wanna feel the wind in my face.” You joked as you pulled the blanket covering your legs up a little more. You would push yourself if you could but you still had your arm in an immobiliser for your broken collarbone and full shoulder reconstruction. Unable to move it.
“You’re impossible, you know that?” Sarah chuckled, turning the corner into your new room. The doctors on your roster were happy to move you out of the intensive care unit as you seemed to be needing less and less attention these days. You were convinced it had been because you'd been bugging them. Still though, you couldn't go home, not yet anyway. But the doctors had assured you if you kept taking their advice to rest, recover and just take things easy so your body could heal–so that the trauma your body held could be released in a timely matter–that physical therapy would come around sooner rather than later and you'd be back flying fighter jets in no time. Fingers and appropriate appendages crossed.
It was hard to keep a positive outlook on the situation though when all the walls looked the same, dull and meek. For an adrenaline junky, this was a worse fate than being sent straight to hell. At least hell would be interesting, being stuck in hospital was just boring, every day felt the same as the last, like a constant endless mind numbing loop of being poked and prodded. Test after test, assessment after assessment. At least today held a shred of difference, you’d been moved to a different room–it was bigger, quieter, had more privacy.
“Oh this is lovely, isn't it sweetheart.?” Sarah cooed as she wheeled you in, putting the brakes on your wheelchair on with her foot as she wheeled you into the middle of the room. You had your own bathroom now, that was a nice addition–at least you wouldn't have to call for a nurse everytime you wanted to use the toilet. The view was nice too, you had a full window, floor to ceiling with curtains for added privacy, but your mother knew the sun would do you well, especially looking over the courtyard you’d soon be allowed to roam your wheelchair though. All in due time. You weren't quite ready for an excursion outside.
“It's not home but it’ll do.” Was all you said. “Can you wheel me over to the window? I think I just wanna sit in the sun for a while.” Since being hospitalised, you had learnt how to appreciate the little things in life. The temperature of water was a new one you never really paid much attention to before, or the flavour mash potatoes, the smell of fresh air was a big one you missed, but most of all you'd learnt to appreciate the time people took out of their day to come and visit you.
“Sure baby, I might go down to the cafeteria and grab a coffee, do you want anything?” You wanted to say a whiskey sour or better yet a bottle of Port because the one Hawkeye had brought you earlier that same day was just too fucking good, but held back because you knew your mother well enough to know she’d give you the third degree. As she moved you closer to the window and into the warmth of the sun's rays shining through, you simply shook your head no with lips pressed together in a fine line.
“I'm good, thanks mum.” With a little hesitation, Sarah kissed your temple before making her way out of your new hospital room, leaving you in the silence for a while to just soak up the sun and silence and just breathe. It really didn't last all that long though, because after about five or so minutes of watching the people down below in the courtyard, Bradley Bradshaw came racing in, almost missing your room completely because he couldn't remember for the life of him if the nurses at the nurses station had said room sixteen or room sixty.
“Hey–!” He was panting, he’d been running around the hospital for what felt like an eternity because he’d missed the memo that you were moving rooms and wards today. “Chaos–”
“Like the new digs Bradshaw?” You asked with a taunting smirk, spinning your wheelchair around with a little difficulty. One arm would do that to a person. “I'm mobile now too! Got this sick ass wheelchair we can do burnouts in the halls in.” Usually Rooster would tell you to shut up or laugh at your attempt at carelessness and recklessness, but he just stood there speechless—searching for the words to explain the unexplainable. He didn’t know if telling you would do more good than keeping the accident a secret, but he knew better than to treat you like some fragile damsel. “What? What’s wrong?”
“There was an accident—“ Bradley steps closer, dropping to his knees before you as you sat in your wheelchair twirling the fabric of the lightweight blanket that covered your legs. “So I just need you to listen to me, okay?”
“What kind of accident?” There was a small part of you that didn’t want to know, but there was an even bigger part that already did. You knew by the look on Bradley’s face that it wasn’t good, that he was afraid of the reaction he might get—that you might give because there were still foggy moments unaccounted for in your own memory from your own trauma that Rooster was afraid would rear their ugly heads. “Bradshaw, what kind of accident?”
Bradley reached out to take your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips so he could place a gentle kiss to your palm before squeezing it tightly. His elbows resting gently against your knees, still kneeling before you.
“Coyote and Hawkeye.” It felt like you’d just been punched in the stomach as your jaw slacked with a soft gasp. Shock horror radiating your system. “They went down over the ridge, no one knows what caused it yet.” Rooster had fresh tears welling in his eyes but you could tell he’d been crying already. “Coyotes been In and out of unresponsiveness, it’s touch and go—he’s not doing well though.” You hadn’t said a word so whenever Rooster paused to take a second to breathe? The silence was deafening. “And so far all I know is that Hawk can’t feel anything from the waist down, but Jake found her giving Coyote compressions, so she’d been walking before the medics arrived.” Bradley wasn't sure if he should even bring up the fact that Hawk might lose her leg all together. That was something he wasn't going to mention.
The funny thing about trauma is that every person processes it differently. Trauma blockers serve as a healing mechanism to help aid in the process of recovery and healing. They can also be a pain in the fucking arse. You still couldn’t remember much of the mission itself, you’d dreamt of bits and pieces here and there but it was all still a blurry haze.
“Hangman said Hawk can’t remember ever being here in North Island—“ Rooster mumbled as he tried to read your mind, watching through your eyes, the gateway to your soul as to what you may or may not be thinking. There was something bouncing around in there. “She doesn’t remember patching things up with him, from what he can gather—which means—“
“She was just in here this morning though?” Bradley had never heard you sound so confused before as you frowned. “She brought a bottle of port in and was asking if she should take up a new position at Quantico or stay here in North Island.” Bradley knew he shouldn’t have fixated on the whole Hawk bringing you alcohol part of that statement, but he did. Reaching out to cup your face as he leaned in to kiss you. Eye level with you since he’d been kneeling.
“You shouldn’t be drinking, next person who sneaks you alcohol I’m gonna put my boot up their arse.”
“Rooster I told her what’s the worst that could happen—“
“We all did.” Rooster whispered as he wiped the tears that had begun to fall freely down your cheeks away with the pads of his thumbs. “You don’t bear that burden alone Chaos.”
“Where’s Jake?” Your bottom lip trembled with remorse, you’d never felt so much pain for another person before. “Bradley, where's Hangman?”
“He’s been admitted for shock.” Bradley explained, still accessing if what he was exposing you to was something you could handle or not. So far? He seemed to think you were handling it well. “His body just shut down, couldn’t handle the stress, he just passed out in the waiting room—hit his head on the corner of the little table that held all the magazines on it.” Rooster wasn’t going to admit one of his first responses to Jake's episode was to laugh, he’d never seen someone who paraded around like he was the centre of the universe go down as quickly, and as hard as Jack Seresin had. He fell like a sack of shit.
“Ow—“ It wasn’t an immediate response, your shoulder had been in quite a bit of pain on and off throughout the day. A full reconstructive surgery will do that. But there had to have been some sort of trauma release going on as Bradley explained the accident Coyote and Hawk had had. “Ow—fucking hell, hurts.” Bradley was quick to rise to his feet when he noticed your doubling over in pain—clenched your jaw as you cupped at your shoulder, your collarbone. “Ah fuck! I feel like I’m on fucking fire!”
“Nurse!” Bradley shouted, pressing the button near your beside that alerted the nurses at the nurses station that you needed assistance. “It’s just phantom pain from the S.A.M—“
“There’s nothing phantom about this you idiot!” You felt awful for snapping, but your pain was real—even if it had been subsequently brought on by the anxiety of hearing about your friend's accident. “Please help me—“ You sobbed as Rooster kissed the top of your head, stomping off the breaks on the wheelchair you sat in as one of the nurses came rushing in.
“Her shoulders acting up again.” He explained with a sigh. “Can you have someone take a look at it please?”
“Doctor Beck already explained the possibility of the muscles holding onto trauma.” Bradley read the name tag presented on the nurses scrubs. Her name was Lillian. “If she’s subjected to stressful conditions it’ll take longer to heal.”
“Great.” You groaned as you looked over your shoulder at Bradley who just stood there regretting the last few minutes. He shouldn’t have told you.
“I’ll give you some pain relief but you need to remember you’re not out of the woods yet, Miss Kazansky.” Nurse Lillian reminded both you and Bradley. “Your body and mind are still repressing incredible chunks of time and muscle memory.” She added with a warning tone, looking to Bradley as if to remind him you were clinically dead a few weeks ago, that he did have to tread lightly around you and that his actions did carry consequences—regardless of what you let him see and believe.
“It’s gonna be a hell of a recovery.”
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Read Jake Seresin x Hawkeye!reader POV here
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