#quank <33

[effywild]

Today is my second to last day in the Artfully Wild Blog Along – I owe myself a day since I skipped one this month. BUT I ONLY SKIPPED ONE, YO! 

This has been amazing, and my plan is to continue writing daily. A few of us are planning the same, so if you’d like to build up a little coterie of folks you read, who read you, do consider joining us. The rules are “Comment on three for every one you post”. Easy peasy. Find us here. 

I. New music crush, courtesy of 42.

Find him on Spotify.

II. I spent the evening with loved ones – my youngest son and his girl, my middle son, my grandson. There was food and talking and lots of playing on the floor with various child friendly things like plastic bowls and wooden spoons. Bean’s parents decided to leave him with me overnight, since he was so content here, and they could use a break. James went home after we watched Game of Thrones (which was epic), and I got the Bean up from a nap so we could play for a while before bed time. 

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III. My sacrum is still healing after the rollerskating debacle, and lifting this gigantic baby caused it to flare up again last night, but it’s better this morning after a restful sleep (Thank you, Bean, for Mimi’s restful sleep!). After he leaves this morning, I’ll ice it and take a Robax and all will be well in my world.

IV. Something about having him here does wonders for my nervous system. It’s like I have nothing else in the world to do but love this chunk of busy baby, and my whole self just comes into alignment with that. He’s a little like I imagine Prozac would be if Prozac actually worked for me. Some people with anxiety can’t do infants/toddlers because they are so full of loud mysteries – the questions “Why are you hollering?” and “What do you need?” can be frustrating to some, and I totally get that. For me, though, it is instant embodiment. The tyranny of choice over what to do with my time is completely eliminated.

This. This is what we’re doing with our time right now. No choice, no anxiety. Boom.

V. One of the things I love about being in the position that I’m in right now is that I can just snap my fingers, and the things he needs appear. Ok, so what I really mean by that is ‘fire up Amazon’, but still. Feels like magic for someone who raised her own babies in abject poverty. I’ve got a portable crib, a high chair, and a bunch of toys on the way so that his parents, who don’t drive, can bus him here without needing to lug a bunch of equipment. I’m going to have to clean out a closet to store it all in, but even that makes me happy, because decluttering is my jam.

VI. I have a super full weekend coming up. I’m helping Stacey with her vending table at a roller derby on Friday (good opportunity for me to seek out the proper protective gear before I hit the roller rink this summer), and another friend with her vending booth at the KW Pet Expo on Saturday. I’m seeing the eye doctor on Sunday afternoon (for the first time in, like, eight years – oops), and then I have a live activation gathering with my art witches Sunday evening. I will be quanked by the end of it all, but next week is a light so I’ll have lots of time to rest and restore.

VII. I actually sat in silent meditation for ten minutes yesterday as part of my participation in a writing practice class with Natalie Goldberg, and this after wondering on paper if I could actually do it. Silent meditation is a little bit scary for me given the brain gremlins and where they go if I give them too much free reign. I actually found it quite calming, and though the gremlins did try to veer off into shadowy territory a few times in that ten minute span, I was able to return to my breath.

VIII. The writing after was good – revealing. Caught wind of some feels I wasn’t aware of having, and was able to nod in their direction – “Oh, hey…I see you there. Yeah, that’s a thing we can fix. Let’s do it.” 

Nice.

IX. I think I’ll end here, because I’ve written myself out of things to say, and the list to slay is calling my name. It’s saying PSSST. Bean is napping. Let’s do a thing or two and get ahead of the game. 

    Bean Spam & Other Musings Today is my second to last day in the Artfully Wild Blog Along - I owe myself a day since I skipped one this month.