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raybyanothername · 2 years

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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Kevin Tran (Supernatural), Linda Tran, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Rowena MacLeod, Jack Kline Additional Tags: Kevin Lived, Linda Didn't, Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Magic, Drinking, Grief/Mourning, Birthday Party Series: Part 4 of Kevin Tran Lives and is Exhausted Summary:

Kevin prefers to pretend his birthday doesn't exist. No one wants to let him and when his classmates ply him with a few too many drinks, well… summoning under the influence has consequences.

Written for Supernatural Quarantine Zine Vol 4. @supernaturalquaranzine

Jody, Donna, Eileen, Sam, and Claire are all present in this fic as well. Untagged because it's very brief and tagging everyone seemed excessive. ^^'

-.-.-

Summoning Drunk

Kevin was contemplating murder.

Which, granted, was not particularly new for him, considering he was a hunter. To his knowledge though, his professor was not a monster. At least, not the sort that he killed.

They were just the sort that *announced* his birthday to his whole class. Okay, fine, they'd just wished him a happy birthday before class ended… but it was an executable offense all the same! Especially with how excited his classmates got and all their questions about how he was going to spend it.

'Unconscious' had apparently not been an acceptable answer because he'd since been dragged to a sports bar with subpar chili cheese fries. Drunk was not as good as a nap, but it would have to do. And the bar did have decent burgers at least…

He'd definitely spent too much time with Dean.

His phone buzzed and Kevin was convinced he'd summoned the Winchester just by thinking about him right up until he saw Sam's name on his caller id. Should he have answered it? Probably. Did he ignore it instead? Definitely.

The Winchesters didn't know it was his birthday and unlike his college professor they didn't have a reason to stumble upon it in some administrative record. Sam wasn't an idiot though. He would've recognized the sounds of a bar, maybe even overheard one of his classmates celebrating. Kevin was not giving them a chance, not even a sliver of one, to find out what today was.

Nope. No chance. He was going to let his classmates ply him with alcohol (and a semi-decent burger) and then sleep the rest of his birthday away so he could forget it existed until next year. Just like he liked it.

That was not at all what ended up happening. Well, he did let his classmates get him drunk… but the plan to sleep it off went sideways when he stumbled into his apartment.

Kevin wasn't real worried about his plan to ignore his birthday at that point. He wasn't real worried about dragging the spirit board down from the shelf in his closet either. Or about digging the spell book Rowena got him for Christmas out of his go bag.

He should thank her for it. The spell book. It was a nice gift. And his mother had said thank you notes were more important than gifts. Something about gratitude… Kevin couldn't really remember anymore.

Grabbing his phone, Kevin shot off a quick text to Rowena before his brain tried to drown him in guilt. He could almost hear his mother's voice in his head, almost see her smile.

Kevin scrubbed a hand down his face. The tears would probably work as a connection agent. That made sense. It was never a good idea to overcomplicate magic.

It also wasn't a good idea to practice magic while drunk, but, well… his thinking was impaired and there was no one there to stop him.

The silver lining of orphanhood.

-.-.-

Dean frowned at his phone when Rowena's face popped up on the screen. He raised a brow as he answered, "Don't you usually call Sammy when you need a hunter to fix your problems?"

Rowena's chuckle was short, "While Samuel and I do share a special bond, I'm calling you about one of your special bonds."

"Oh yeah?" Dean's brow furrowed, "Who?"

"Our sweet little Kevin sent me the nicest little text message just now," Rowena drew it out, voice light until it wasn't, "Thanking me for that spell book I gave him for Yule." Her tone was sharp, pointed, "Bit of an odd time, I thought. And… well, while it was perfectly polite…"

"…Kevin's not exactly in the habit of being polite."

Her chuckle was tight. Dean squeezed his eyes shut. Rowena was worried, "We do tend to enjoy trading barbs more often than not. It's how we show affection."

"I'll check on him," Dean promised, breathing out through his nose. He walked into the bunker's kitchen, gaze sweeping over the space before he sighed, "Thanks for the call, Rowena."

Castiel blinked up from where he sat at the kitchen table as Dean was slipping his phone into his back pocket. His head tilted to the side, "Rowena?"

"I'll explain later, think you could pop me over to Kevin's place?" Dean asked, brow rising expectantly. Forehead wrinkling, Cas nodded, and they were gone the second his fingers touched Dean's arm.

Kevin's apartment smelt vaguely of smoke. And blood. Neither of which was a good sign.

"If he died again, so help me…" Dean mumbled to himself, jaw clenched. He turned around to find a sleeping, *breathing* Kevin. "Awesome." It took two steps to reach him where he was passed out on the couch. Dean crouched beside him, brow furrowed, "Kev?"

"He's drunk." A voice called out from the kitchen.

Dean stood abruptly, the knife in his belt already out before he saw who it was.

Linda Tran was not any scarier dead than alive. Which… offered zero comfort to Dean as he fidgeted under her narrowed gaze. Even Castiel shifted his feet and looked pointedly at the ceiling.

"Mrs. Tran," Dean cleared his throat and tried to hide the knife in his hand behind his back. "Welcome back to the land of the living?"

She snorted, arms crossing as she walked across the small living room. She passed through the coffee table, standing directly in the middle, "Not quite living." Her eyes dropped to the floor by his feet, "And it was not an easy passage."

Dean followed her gaze, chin dropping to his chest as he looked over the floor. Right beside the couch, beneath Kevin's dangling arm, was a spirit board. There was an overturned bowl beneath the coffee table and the spirit board itself was half under the couch, as if it had fallen or been fumbled.

"I leave my son in your care and he's drunk summoning on his 26th birthday?" Linda drawled, lips pressed into a firm line.

"He's in school though," Dean pointed out, smiling wide as he raised one finger in the air, "Can I get a point for that?"

Her nostrils flared. Cringing, Dean lowered his hand.

"Or not."

"I was not aware it was his birthday," Castiel hummed, walking behind the couch and leaning over the back to press a hand to Kevin's back.

Said man mumbled something about cheese fries and burrowed his face into his couch. Kevin's hair stuck up at weird angles. A faint red around his cheeks did not fade as Castiel lightly stroked a hand over his head.

"I believe drunk may be a bit of an understatement," Castiel looked up at Dean, eyes flicking briefly towards Linda. She started tutting before he could even think to heal Kevin.

"It's called consequences, Castiel, humans have to learn from them."

His brow furrowed, "You don't want me to heal him at all?"

"Not even a little." Her eyes widened slightly as she emphasized each word.

"That's cold…" Dean muttered, head shaking. He frowned at the couch as Cas retracted his hand.

Linda looked at Dean. Her eyes hardened. "I blame you for this." She huffed, nostrils flaring.

"Me?!" Dean held a hand to his chest, forehead wrinkling, "What did I do?"

"Too stubborn to ask for help? To pick up a phone and tell someone how he was feeling? Sound familiar Winchester? He learned it from you!" Linda sniped, eyes rolling as she gestured out in frustration.

Dean snorted, head shaking, "Oh no. That stubbornness…" Dean waved a hand over Kevin's unconscious body, "…is entirely genetic."

"Perhaps we should focus on the matter at hand, rather than placing blame…" Castiel spoke up, leaning heavily on the couch. He clasped his hands together as Dean and Linda both crossed their arms. They looked away from him. Nearly a mirror of each other.

"So. He summoned you," Dean sighed, neck rolling as he turned his head to look at Linda again, "Hate to say it, but first thing on the to do list is sending you back."

"On this, we can agree," Linda nodded her head, bowing forward slightly as she avoided looking at Kevin, "It's not good for him…" Her eyes fluttered. "…he needs to focus on living, not on the dead."

Castiel nodded, hands gripping the top of the sofa as he straightened, "I'll go get Rowena."

Kevin's living room descended into an awkward silence. Dean shifted, hands moving to his hips. Linda clicked her tongue against her teeth.

"I see he's living independently now." Her gaze swept over the room, Linda's nose wrinkling slightly at the mess.

"Yeah," Dean coughed, hand moving to the back of his head.

Linda hummed, "And you think that's best?"

Dean blinked. "Uh…" his mouth hung open. She raised a brow. Dean squinted, "Not really my call."

The snort was both loud and uncalled for.

"He's an adult," Dean huffed. Linda actually started laughing then. Doubled over, practically hysterical, laughing. It was a little frightening.

"I never pegged you for an idiot," Linda finally said, reaching out a ghostly hand to smack the back of Dean’s head.

It wasn't painful. Hell, he couldn't actually feel it. But Dean flinched all the same.

Crouching low beside the couch, Linda stroked a hand just above Kevin. Fingers hovering over his face.

"He's in college, like I said," Dean offered, clearing his throat when Linda's head snapped to him, "State school." He shifted. She nodded. His hand rose to smooth down his shirt, "4.0 GPA so far."

"Well, of course," Linda smirked, "Anything my Kevin does, he does well." She waved her hand downward, gesturing to herself with a flourish, "Even drunk he summoned me first try."

Rowena's soft laugh filled the air, dragging their attention to where Cas had returned. With a wink, Rowena approached the back of the couch, "I deserve at least half credit for that success, since he used my spell." She nodded towards the spell book lying open beneath the coffee table.

"Could use some tweaking," Linda drawled, standing to glare at Rowena properly. The witch just smiled.

A groan from the couch pulled everyone's attention down to Kevin as he shifted. He managed to turn over, eyes fluttering. The smile that pulled on his lips as he caught sight of Linda was faint, but his eyes brightened, "Mom?"

Linda pursed her lips, eyes moist as she looked down at her son. His eyes closed again. His breathing evened out.

"We should get this done now," Linda breathed out slowly, throat bobbing, "Before he wakes up properly."

It took Rowena almost no time at all to set up the return spell. She reused most of Kevin's ingredients, adding a bit of chamomile with the ashwagandha to ease the journey back.

"You sure you don't want to say goodbye?" Dean asked, gaze soft and head tilted as Rowena lit her candles.

"He was already passed out when I arrived," Linda shook her head, eyes squeezing shut as she stepped away from Kevin. "Best to just pretend I was never here." Dean nodded.

Once she was standing in front of Rowena, Linda pointed her gaze at Dean. He straightened. She raised her chin, "I expect you to look after him, Winchester. I'm not above haunting you."

Dean's lips twitched up, "Understood." He cleared his throat, nodding mutely to Rowena.

The fire consumed the herbs quickly. Smoke and a smell not unlike burnt tea filled the air. Linda's eyes fluttered as she began to fade. Her gaze focused wholly on her son.

Kevin didn't wake. He frowned in his sleep. Hand reaching towards her.

"We'll keep him safe," Castiel spoke up. Linda pursed her lips, nodding as tears slid quickly down her cheek.

"And loved," Dean added. Linda's gaze flicked to him briefly. He sniffed, swiping a thumb beneath his eyes, "I promise."

Linda Tran was gone. Back with the rest of the good souls up in Heaven.

"Well, what do we do now boys?" Rowena looked up at Dean, eyebrow arched expectantly.

Dean crouched beside the couch. His arms slid beneath Kevin, pulling him against Dean's chest. Kevin curled into him, face smushed against Dean's shoulder.

"While I may not be well-versed in all human traditions…" Castiel drawled, eyes flicking from Kevin and Dean to Rowena, "…I believe tradition is for family to gather for milestones such as birthdays."

"Well then," Rowena rose to her feet, hands twisting in the air with a flourish, "By all means, let's gather." She grinned wide as Cas reached one hand towards her and the other towards Dean.

In a blink, Kevin's living room was empty. An hour later, the bunker very much wasn't.

-.-.-

There are certain things one expects when hungover. Headaches. Nausea. Maybe some dizziness. If your drunk self was nice enough, there might even be some tacos or a burrito waiting to quell your churning stomach.

Kevin was immediately suspicious when none of those things materialized as he woke up. There was a half-angel two inches from his face.

"Jack… do you remember that conversation we had about personal space?" Kevin groaned, eyes heavy as he reached for the back of his couch to pull himself up.

There was no back of his couch. There was no couch.

"Castiel told me to watch you," Jack grinned, standing up as Kevin processed the room around him.

Brick walls. Creepy lighting. A mattress from the last century.

Bunker.

He was in the bunker. His room in the bunker, given the books still stacked in the corner from his last visit.

How in the hell had that happened?

"Dean said you were drunk, so I healed you," Jack lowered his voice for the second half of that sentence, "They said I shouldn't, but I did it anyway."

"Finally hit that rebellious phase, huh?" Kevin teased as he finally sat up. He winced as the room spun.

Jack frowned, head tilting, "You're still hurt?"

"Rough wakeups were ordained by Chuck," Kevin flashed him a smile and shoved Jack away from the bed as he moved to stand.

The familiar squawk from Jack was accompanied by an exaggerated pout, "I just healed you, can't you be nice for a bit?"

"Could," Kevin shrugged. He waited half a beat until Jack's forehead started to crease from the force of his frown. Reaching a hand up to ruffle Jack's hair, Kevin relented, "I do appreciate the hangover save. Probably would've been a particularly bad one."

"Yeah, Rowena said you were drunker than an English king," Jack's face puckered in thought. Kevin was sure she'd said that with great derision… wait…

"Why is Rowena here??" Kevin squinted at Jack and then at the door to his room.

There was no way… they couldn't-

"For your birthday!" Jack didn't actually clap his hands and bounce with excitement. But his face definitely gave that impression. Absolutely disgusting. And maybe, slightly, adorable.

With careful steps, and a confused baby angel following him, Kevin snuck out of his room and down to the kitchen. There was chattering. And cooking.

"Okay, so do I add the noodles now?" Sam called out from the stove, forehead creased.

"As long as they're the real noodles and not that zucchini bullshit you bought," Dean said, arms stretched up above his head as he hung a banner.

There was a banner. A banner! With his *name* on it.

"Zucchini noodles are actually pretty good ya know," Jody commented from the table. Donna snorted beside her. Jody leaned back, face pinched, "What?"

"If you're eating pasta, you should eat pasta," Donna insisted, barely looking up from the cake she was piping frosting over.

A cake. They got him a cake.

There was a chance that Kevin was still drunk. He was almost hoping this was just an alcohol-fueled nightmare.

Pinching himself had no effect though.

"What about zucchini chips?" Claire asked, dropping down from a stepladder across from Dean. She stepped back to look at the banner. It was mostly level. She gave it a thumbs up before turning around to lean on Jody's chair.

"Those are good," Dean grinned, wagging a finger vaguely at Donna, "You ever had the spicy flavored ones?"

Donna made a humming noise that Kevin was very uncomfortable with overhearing. Not nearly as uncomfortable as he was with the multiple voices that laughed.

How many people had they invited?! How many people now knew it was his birthday?

Jack squeaked.

Turning around, slowly, Kevin cringed when he saw Eileen. She pursed her lips, but the amusement was all over her face.

'Happy birthday,' she signed, head knocking with Jack's softly as she slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Can we go to the party now?" Jack chirped happily.

Kevin glared at the baby angel. Jack just stared back with overly wide eyes. The little shit was not nearly as oblivious as he looked. This was obvious from the shimmer of mischief mocking Kevin from the would-be toddler's eyes.

"Why won't anyone let me spend my birthday unconscious?" Kevin cursed under his breath. A weight settled on his shoulders.

Dean smirked, arm wrapping around his neck to drag Kevin in for a loose hug. He steered the former prophet into the kitchen as he chuckled, "Because we're your family, dumbie, and we want to celebrate you."

They sang Happy Birthday. And put a party hat on his head. There was even a pin the halo on the angel game. It was cringe-worthy. If he smiled the whole time instead, well, he could doctor the photos later.

#ray writes #supernatural #supernatural quarantine zine #kevin tran #supernatural fanfiction #spn #spn fanfic #tw: drinking #tw: grief

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dejwrld · 11 days

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twitter porn links anime posts aren’t new things on here, they actually just became popular again because those type of posts were huge during the peak quarantine where all of us were at home…however it was people complaining about them, but not as much as now because during quarantine….it actually was a well balanced of everybody fics getting love no matter if it was twitter porn links posts, headcanons, long fics, etc. yes, the like to reblog ratio was still off…but the anime fanfic community was thriving across the boards and no, you did not have to mainly write for jjk to get some notes and interactions. hq fanfic community was lit…tr fanfic community was lit…op fanfic community was lit and the list goes on.

sobs i know the quarantine was kicking our asses mentally & physically, but gosh take me back to fanfic community we had back then

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eff4freddie · 13 days

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Touch | Part One

What you can offer Jackson is your healing hands.

2.6k words

Part Two | Part Three | Part Four Warnings: slow burn, eventual smut, we stan one (1) apocalypse grump, no use of y/n, I haven't written fanfic in a while but I'm hoping this will get me back into writing regularly, I have no idea how many parts this will be

Minors DNI

If you were to try and tally up all your losses you wouldn’t, initially, struggle. Your beloved dad, on outbreak day, and then months later your sister to a pack of raiders capable of slipping silently past a rotting barn wall. Those were clearly devastating, actual moments that bifurcate the before times and the after. Your liberty in the QZ, your hope for a sane and assured new government, your smuggling partner trapped under the barbed wire fence as a FEDRA soldier narrowed in on you both, her struggling hands going limp in the dirt, her eyes no longer following your movements as you scrabbed to free her, the look of resignation on her face, the way she mouthed for you to ‘go’. Those losses somehow both enormous and incalculable.

It was the smaller losses that caught you up. Newsprint smeared on your fingertips. Breaking in a new pair of stiff leather shoes. The uneven leg of your massage table, which caused it to wobble when someone clambered onto it, meaning that you had to warn your clients ahead of time while it wobbled, it was stable, and that you could relate. You knew it was a bad look, that the table alone didn’t inspire confidence in your clientele, and you missed it more than you had any fucking right to when the world, for all intents and purposes, imploded.

You made do in Jackson. Your travelling party of three had heard of a mythical commune of warm sheep and cold beer and you wanted, more than anything, to believe in it. In the before times your mother had sung a song about Jackson with your father, peeling potatoes at the sink, and you had hummed it under your breath the three-and-a-half-month trek. ‘Honey, I’m going to Jackson.’ ‘See if I care.’

As you approached the gates the three of you had already come up with a plan to pitch for entry. Ray was going to pretend he was injured, and Marla was going to carry him, limping but stoic, over the threshold. The night he refused to take first watch you had promised to break his ankle for real to make it really convincing, and he had laughed because he knew you didn’t have it in you, and you had joined in, because it was true. Marla was toying with the idea of being pregnant, and you were going to just be mute. Either by birth or by trauma, you hadn’t decided. But the plan was to be as pitiful as possible, as non-threatening and as desperate, such that not only would you not be shot on sight but that you would be taken in, warmed to, eventually forgiven your trespass. On the side of a mountain, with everything you had ever owned strapped to your back and the losses tallying behind you, it had seemed like the best strategy.

It had failed almost immediately. Marla may have been able to pull off the pregnancy thing if it was early, but Ray kept forgetting which ankle he had supposedly hurt, and when you tripped on a rock coming through the gate you swore at the top of your lungs. It turned out it didn’t matter. Throughout quarantine you had been able to meet Maria, then Tommy, and you had been advised that you were to pitch your worthiness to stay at the next town council. You had two days to determine what you could offer Jackson. You had looked down at your two hands.

Marla was a good shot, and was put on patrol. Ray spoke French and was good with codes, and he pitched helping out with reconnaissance. He even pronounced it the proper French way at the council meeting, and you saw Tommy arch a jet-black brow in Maria’s direction, who rolled her eyes. Standing on shaky knees before a panel of non-infected non-raiders who nevertheless held your life in their hands, you showed them your palms.

‘Pain relief,’ you said, and you smiled in what you hoped was a warm way. ‘I can heal, with these.’

‘You trying to tell us you’re some kind of witch doctor?’ the man on the end asked, and you wondered what it would be like to lean over and pluck each hair out of his nostrils, until his eyes were streaming.

‘No,’ you said, and you felt your cheeks redden. ‘Massage, mostly remedial but also deep tissue. I can help with bad backs, with sore legs and arms, bad necks. All that patrolling, all that watching the horizon, must be murder on the body.’ You scanned their faces, Nostril Man not convinced but Maria smiling warmly at you. You swallowed, trying to wet your throat to prevent it from just outright closing over. ‘Surely you want your men and women, the people out there protecting Jackson, to be strong?’

The house you were allocated was four over from Marla, and Ray was placed three streets back towards the gate. You had idly wondered if you had been split up to try and avoid trouble, but actually you enjoyed the solitude for the first time since the apocalypse. Having had to travel in packs, having been crammed in four or six to a one-bedroom apartment in the QZ, having listened to Ray retell his story of crossing the Canadian border every might for at least a year and a half, you relished the way that you could once again hear the ringing in your ears. When you rolled your shoulders, you heard the spinal fluid pool and bubble at the base of your skull.

The benefit of having the place to yourself was that the second bedroom easily converted to your treatment room. Tommy and a couple of the other men from town had brought in a spare dining table, and you found that with enough blankets and towels piled on top of it you could make a decently comfortable surface to lie on. Ray had offered to cut a hole in the middle like a real massage table, but you had seen him try to chop wood one night with a blunt axe, a night when you thought without a fire you would freeze to death, but it would still be better than listening to him whine about having nearly chopped off his toes for the rest of time. Instead, you created a ring of towels just back from the edge, a position that meant people could still breathe as they lay face down, and you practiced how you would apologise to them for the inconvenience of it, what joke you could make to try and win back their confidence, marvelled at the fact that even at the end of the world you were still trying to cover for your inadequacies.

Maria was your first client, and as soon as you were convinced you could accommodate her growing stomach comfortably as she lay on her side, you welcomed her in.

‘It’s just my hips, my lower back,’ she said, as you poured shampoo on your hands to stand in for massage oil.

‘This might be cold, I’m sorry,’ you said, not adding that it could also be sudsy, and wilted a little inside as Maria flinched when you touched her. ‘I’m sorry,’ you said again, as she exhaled.

‘Can you feel where it is?’ she asked, and you hummed.

‘The pain?’

‘You said you could heal.’ You smiled, pressing down on a knot hitched to Maria’s hip flexor. She sighed, and you watched as the tension disappeared from her shoulders, her body slumping forward slightly such that you had to grab her knee and roll her back.

‘You tell me,’ you said, and she huffed at you.

‘Those men, the council, you have no idea how little they would understand why we needed you,’ she said.

‘Wait ‘til I’ve finished putting my elbow in your butt cheek, then tell me that again,’ you said.

‘Wait, what?’ Maria startled, but you were already on her, promising that the pain would fade as the tension released, ignoring the stream of obscenities, having heard far worse in your time. The before times.

Maria spread the word and soon you were busy, with a regular list of clients that heavily favoured the women of Jackson until they were able to convince the men that they, too, had musculoskeletal systems. Maria was a regular right up until she got too big to haul herself onto the table, and then she would just sit in your kitchen and make you tea, explaining the history of the place until you started to feel properly at home there.

One afternoon she sat with her head resting in her hand, as you held her foot in your lap, gently massaging over her sock.

‘You don’t come out much,’ she said. ‘I see you in the mess hall for breakfast, then you’re gone.’

‘I have clients early these days, sometimes a full patrol before they go out.’

‘What about the off days? The days that we don’t patrol?’

‘Washing. I go through a lot of towels.’

‘You need help with those?’

‘No, I like doing it. Warm water is such a dream, I still can’t believe it when I fill up the bucket.’

‘After work I never see you at the bison.’

You pinched her toe a little hard and she hissed, and you felt the heat on your cheeks.

‘I am grateful for my place here,’ you said, and you looked up into her eyes then, your hands still but cradling her foot to your chest. ‘That you advocated for me, that you helped me set myself up. I know that Tommy wouldn’t have if you hadn’t asked him.’

She smiled, glancing down at the tea in her cup.

‘It’s hard to be back amongst so many people, and to not be…’ you trailed off. Marla came around some nights, but it had been at least a week since you’d seen Ray. You had thought they were your safe people, but in a big house behind a secure wall, you wondered how much that was true.

‘To not be waiting for them to shoot you, to stab you?’ Maria finished, and you sighed.

‘Or to not get stabbed or shot themselves.’

‘You lost people?’ Maria asked, and then blinked, slowly. ‘That was a stupid question. Of course you did.’

The pattern of the tiles on the kitchen floor was two left and two right, you noticed, except for where the bench had been installed. There the pattern was interrupted, as if someone had miscounted, and there was a row of three along the perimeter.

‘Who did you lose?’ Maria asked you, and you gently lowered her foot to the ground.

‘All of them, just like all of us,’ you said, and you held out your harms such that Maria could pull herself up, and she sighed but used them to get to her feet, and you were grateful even in this moment to have helped someone.

You happened to be on your porch when you heard the commotion, a bunch of people running down the street towards the front gate. You thought for a moment of an invasion, that raiders had breached the wall, and wondered what, if anything, you would need to carry with you, what you could fit in a bag, looked despairingly at the snow on the mountain tops wondering how you could possibly carry enough blankets to ward off inevitable death. You braced yourself for screams, for gun shots, was genuinely confused when you heard none. Curious now, and less planning your immediate escape, you stepped down to your front gate, leaning over to see what the fuss was. A group of people were moving as one down the main street, and you stepped out onto the pavement to get a better look. You could see Tommy, his black hair sliced back to his shoulders making him stand out even in a crowd of other men. He was walking beside another man, the crowd parting to let them through, and with Tommy’s arm wrapped around his shoulder it meant that the other man had to stoop forward slightly, such that you could only see the top of his head. He had streaks of grey through his hair, his legs straight and strong underneath him. Tommy was gripping the front of the man’s shirt and talking into his ear. Behind them a younger girl, couldn’t be more than 15, trailed with her eyes set on the ground in front of her.

You watched as Maria came out of the sheriff’s office and stood on the pavement in front of them. She smiled when Tommy turned to her, letting go of the other man to wrap her in a bracing hug. You watched as the other man straightened, caught a glimpse for the first time of the patchy beard across his cheeks, of the roman line of his nose, of the flinty look in his eyes. He turned to the young girl, clapped her once or twice on the back, nodding in Maria’s direction. You saw that they nodded to each other, that this wasn’t as simple of a homecoming, that the girl carried pain deeper than any two hands could reach.

You had to wait three days for Maria to visit again before you could ask her about them, and when you did you felt her energy shift. Big as she was it was difficult for her to fidget, but you sensed that she would shuffle in your kitchen chair if she could.

‘Joel is Tommy’s brother,’ she told you, and when you thought about the shape of his jaw you realised you could see a sort of resemblance. This man had seemed to stoic, so closed off, compared to the brightness of the smile Tommy had been throwing at him. It had meant that you initially hadn’t seen it.

‘And the girl?’ you asked, and watched as Maria started fiddling with the hem of her shirt, stretched as it was over the heft of her belly.

‘A kind of daughter, I guess. Adopted, as much as anyone can be right now.’ Maria avoided your eyes and you lowered them, hoping that it would encourage her to continue. ‘They were here, before, for a brief time. A few months. Joel was… he and Ellie were heading down to Salt Lake, we weren’t sure if they were going to make it back, and Tommy…’ she stopped herself, gathered her thoughts, and you heard your own pulse in your neck as you waited.

‘Tommy had started to think that he’d lost him, lost them both. He’d started to think it was his fault, maybe, that he should have gone with them.’

‘But you’re…’ and you stopped, gesturing to her very pregnant frame.

‘I know, and he knew that he couldn’t have, but it didn’t feel like it when he thought his brother was gone.’

You didn’t need your hands to feel the tension coming off her, and you stood then, and reached out to her shoulder, picking up the tendon and easing it down. You remembered back in school when your teacher had shown you the diagram of the fascia, taught and spidery over the pink and red of the muscle. She rolled her neck, her head slumping towards you, and you offered her your torso as a pillow.

‘It doesn’t feel like a warm return,’ you said, eventually, and Maria sighed, reaching up to still your hand.

‘He’s a dangerous man,’ she said, after a while. ‘He’s done things, Tommy did them too but that’s his big brother, you know?’

You thought back to the way Tommy had gripped Joel’s shirt, the way he had been talking animatedly into his brother’s ear, the curl of Joel in on himself in response to it, the instinct to close down in the face of his brother’s overwhelming love.

‘We’ve all done things,’ you said, after a while.

‘It’s different,’ she said. ‘I don’t know why, it just is.’

‘What about the girl?’ you asked, and she softened then, under your touch.

‘She’ll defend Joel to the ends of the Earth,’ she said.

‘You don’t trust her judgement?’ you asked.

‘I don’t trust that Joel isn’t keeping her in the dark,’ she muttered, and it was quiet enough that you had to lean over to hear, and when the words unfurled around you you pulled back from them, the concern and the weight and the finality of them, the heaviness of them in your ears.

#joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x you #pedro pascal character #fanfic #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction

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vkelleyart · 1 month

Note

Hi! forever ago, I downloaded WTTHTM. It was the fic that got me through quarantine as a high school sophomore. I'm now a college sophomore (hmm. gross. The passage of time.) I go back and read it every now and then, because, even though Simon and Baz are in my past, they influence everything I do. I'm in college for dramatic writing, and all the stories I write are some variation of fics I wrote in quarantine, but adapted to be their own independent story, like what you did with WTTHTM.

I woke up this morning with a pressing need to read it again (absolutely no clue why, just one of those random things, I guess) and I just felt like I had to reach out and thank you, because your work helped get me here. So,, thank you for writing and drawing, and I can't wait to read the published version when it hits shelves

Gosh, it's wild--and humbling--to read an ask like this on the eve of submitting my 2nd editorial pass of WTTHTM to its publishers. 😭Thank you so much for sharing this with me, and apart from my glee at connecting with someone who loved the story when it was a fic, I'm just so happy to hear it's encouraging you to pursue your original work! Fanfic deserves more props as an art form; not only does it give us space to develop our skills and collaborate with other writers, but it's also the ideal proving ground for exploring voice and producing the stories we really want to read.

It was during rewriting WTTHTM that I realized how little of the story's heart and soul had anything to do with Simon and Baz. The scaffolding was my own struggle for agency, identity, and freedom, and writing in the context of fanfic gave me permission to be vulnerable within the [relative] safety of fandom. It ultimately gave me the confidence I needed to do what I've always dreamed: write and sell an illustrated adult work of fiction.

I genuinely hope that this next chapter of your writing path delivers similar awakenings about your ability to create from the heart and share it with the world. Whenever your original work hits shelves--and I absolutely believe it will--I hope you'll come back here and tell me all about it. Thank you again for reaching out with such a lovely ask! 💖

#asks #WTTHTM #when the tides held the moon

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lizardsfromspace · 9 months

Text

Ben Chatham was too niche to ever become known outside one forum but it's the My Immortal of Doctor Who. It was a series starring the writer's self-insert companion, Ben Chatham, and I guess it started with his fanfic version of series 2 (not sure if it's still online anywhere, but there's a summary), where Jackie dies of cancer bc the author thought chavs shouldn't be allowed on Doctor Who & the Doctor murders a hamster. His stories are full of random grim moments, and no one is ever heroic, since everyone just dies until UNIT can save the day. Ben Chatham is gay and a military-loving Tory. He reintroduced Adam and Jack over the course of the season bc he didn't like writing women doing or saying things and bc he felt Rose was too lower class to be allowed on television

I think I first learned about him when he posted his pitch for Matt Smith's first story:

"Martha Jones is walking down the cobbled street of the Cornish village of Little Bampton towards the local Inn, pondering why UNIT had sent her to investigate the strange sightings nearby and disappearances. Since entering into full time investigative work for UNIT in the UK following the events of Journey’s End she had never been so bored by a case. Nothing has happened in the three weeks that she had been in the village and she found the locals distasteful and she suspected some of the older ones were rather prejudiced.

Suddenly there is a familiar sound and she sees the TARDIS materialise in front of her. She grins excitedly as the door is flung open: “DOCTOR……….OH” she shouts as instead of the Doctor, a slip youth with floppy hair emerges, dressed in jeans and a casual jacket. “Who are you? Wheres the Doctor” she exclaims. “Hey babe, I’m like the Doctor. I’ve regenerated like. Wow its great to see you again. Wicked!”Martha is perturbed:

“But you’re so….. So much younger.” “Yay its great to be a kid again. I’m like so gonna get a myspace page. You look great in that jacket babe, I’ve like SO got the hots for you. Hows about we get up close and personal on the TARDIS double bed.” The Doctor coyly lets his floppy hair descend over his eyes."

There's a lot going on here, but my fave parts are picturing Matt Smith saying "Hey babe, I'm like the Doctor" and the fact that Martha internally refers to the events of Journey's End as the events of Journey's End. I've accepted ever since that Martha Jones can sense episode titles; she was just out there living her life until she suddenly sees a vortex and the words "THE STOLEN EARTH" floating in the air and groans at having to do this again

Also, in the Chatham canon, Martha hates going on adventures and loves to whine and do nothing. Just like everyone else. Meanwhile the Eleventh Doctor is a horny freak who wants to fuck and post to MySpace. Both of them despise poor people

This story also features the Russian mob whose leader, named Ivan, has henchmen named Ivan, bc he could only think of one Russian name.

Was the writer of this serious or a troll? We will never know. Certainly he was surrounded by trolls. He got an entire subforum quarantining promoting his stories, and there were fanfics of his fanfic, made by trolls whose sincerity was also, for many years, in doubt (they were trolls)

What we do know is that the writer repeatedly insisted it was canon, and wrote a letter to Doctor Who Magazine demanding more coverage of his OC. They sent him a lengthier letter he posted on forum but in the magazine all they said was

"Er…who?"

Which just about sums it up

#doctor who #long post

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wangxianficfinder · 9 months

Text

Fic Finder

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1. Hi! I'm looking for a fic which was about LWJ and his feelings about relation WWX&LSZ. It was post-canon fic. LWJ felt hurt because Sizhui was formal while speaking to him meanwhile he treated WWX like parent, calling him Baba (or other word but with the same meaning)or joking with him etc. LWJ haven't told anyone. I remember that they were going to nighthunt but LWJ fainted and that's how WWX noticed that sth is wrong. WWX told Sizhui sth like "your father miss you"

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2. Hi, I was wondering if you know a fanfic where it’s like during war time,wei ying and nie mingjue get together and than add lan zhan to the mix. Thank you @chloecov4506

FOUND? Bruises be damnded red and green by amykissthedark (T, 44k, WWX/NMJ, wangxian, NMJ/WWX/LWJ, canon divergence, everyone lives au, character study, PTSD, trauma, canon-typical behavior, pining, blood & gore, YLLZ WWX, golden core reveal, sunshot campaign, warnign: JGS, polyamory, fix-it, slow burn, WIP) not sure but it could potentially be this one. At least the description reminds me of this one

FOUND? Better Things to Do with a Flute in Wartime by Anonymous (E, 365k, MingXian, WangXianJue, Sunshot Campaign, Fix-It, Magical Healing Cock, Dual Cultivation, mild Dom/Sub, Undernegotiated Kink, Golden Core Reveal, Breathplay, Choking, Painplay, Subdrop, Topdrop, Major Character Injury, Canon Divergence, What-If, Temperature Play, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Fisting, Spanking, PTSD, Trauma, Self-Harm, (in the pursuit of cultivational badassery))

FOUND? An Elegant Solution by giraffeter (E, 205k, niewangxian, canon divergence, arranged marriage, friends to lovers, fix-it, everyone lives au, courtship, polyamory, smut)

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3. Hey! Hope you guys are doing well.

I was looking for this fanfic where the sects send their heirs to vanquish the Yiling Patriarch, but none of them return. Even Lan Sizhui goes missing, and Jin Ling takes matters into his own hands and goes to find the Yiling Patriarch himself because he's grieving.

So he goes there but the situation is entirely different. All the sect heirs are at Burial Mounds safe and dound they just didn't go back because of all the responsibilities their parents have for them.

Also, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are actually together, and Wangji just sent Sizhui because the teen misses his other baba. And so when Jin Ling gets to know and Lan Wangji comes and they establish them as a new sect and all that jazz.

I'm not sure if the fix is actually complete. But please find this for me cuz I really really love the feels in this fic. @poetic-writes

FOUND! Safe in the Arms of a Demon by Starlight1395 (G, 19k, JC & JL & WWX, wangxian, LJY/LSZ, canon divergence, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, WWX doens’t die instead quarantines in BM, WWX adopts every child he sees, uncle nephew bonding)

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4. help to find a fic please. So there was this Wangxian fic, where Lan Wangji is rescued after being tortured. I don't think it was very long; probably on the shorter side. One quirk I remember is the narration being in second person, though I don't know if I'm remembering correctly. There was a mention of sea glass near the end of the fic. That's all the details I remember. Please help me find the fic.

I think #4 is one of those mer type fics, where lan zhan is held hostage and either his scales are being harvested for medicine or he's tortured to give tears, I have to research some more , but does the requestor think it could be along those lines ?

FOUND? ocean eyes by bunnylan (weiyingpretty) (T, 10k, WangXian, Modern AU, Human WWX, mermaid LWJ, Childhood Friends, Memory Magic, Getting Back Together, Fluff, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Love, Hurt/Comfort, First Meetings, Mutual Pining, Temporary Amnesia) tho I don't know if this is 2nd person narration ?

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5. Hi!! I'm looking for a fic where lwj is a fanfic writer and wwx was a podficer? is that the word? anyways that's all I remember from it because I only read the summary :')

FOUND! Your Words, My Voice by AverageFandomEnjoyer (T, 5k, wangxian, modern, canon divergence, fluff, kissing, pining, falling in love, writer LWJ, podficcer WWX, meet-cute, minor miscommunication) and has a podfic! :)

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6. Could you please help me find a colored-blood fic? It was canon divergent, where people with golden cores had golden blood (and normal people had normal red blood). After the core transfer WWX’s blood slowly turns back to red and he has to be careful not to get injured or it will show that he lost his core. In that scene after he is revived JC doesn’t whip him, WWX pretends to be MXY and shows his red blood to “prove” it. I am dying to read this again! It was most likely on ao3.

FOUND? who cares when you're gone by camellialice (M, 22k, WangXian, Hades (Video Game) Fusion, Canon-Typical Levels of Self-Sacrifice, Canon-Typical Levels of Spitting Up Blood, Canon-Typical Levels of Pining) this is a bit of a stretch, but 'who cares when you're gone' by camellialice on ao3 might be #6 on the fic finder. it has the gold blood / red blood thing but not the mo xuanyu part of the ask.

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7. Hi can you help me find a fic I read a couple of years ago? It was a modern au where all the sect heirs were sent to another planet/alternate reality (?) for some kind of reality TV show. I think JGS was behind it but for some reason also sent JZX. I remember that NMJ is killed while they are trying to escape and WWX stays behind alone to allow the rest to escape. He has to survive in a wintery wilderness until the others manage to rescue him. Thanks for your help. @i-amnotawriter

FOUND? and from our own/live to ourselves by betweentheheavesofstorm (M, 105k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fantasy, Reality TV, Arctic Survival, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Getting Together, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Self-Harm, Bloodletting, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Animal Death, Hunting, Mild Sexual Content)

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8. helluu! i have this one fic that i really want to re-read, but i cant find it for the life of me. i remember it was pretty long and so well written so i really hope you can help. what i remember is it took place during (after?) the guanyin temple arch, and i think JGY forced WWX to make a time travel array for him. dont remember much but i belive WWX LXC NHS and JC end up sacrificing themselves to get the array working and they send back the junior quartet to the time of Jin Lings one month anniversary party (i just remember random facts from here and there) but i think the try to fix things up with jin zixuan’s death so it doesn’t happen..? i hope any of that makes sense. could you please help me find it? @constant-brainrot-24-7

FOUND? ❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

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9. Hi! It's me again hahaha.

I was reading a fic and suddenly I remembered another fic, but I can't find it in my bookmarks. It's a Canon Divergence where WQ transfer the half of the golden core back to WWX with the permission of JC.

I hope you can help me, thanks ☺️. @wangxiansgirl

FOUND! The Fire Lapping Up the Creek by notevenyou ( E, 66k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Blood, Respiratory Illness, Major Illness, Fever, Grief/Mourning, Burial Mounds, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hunger and food scarcity, Surgery, Fix-It of Sorts)

Not FOUND in this place where we don't have a prayer by Cerusee, Mikkeneko (T, 42k, WangXian)

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10. 👋Hello! I'm a big fan of your blog! ❤️ I've seen that you help to find fics and I'd like to ask for help to find one. 🙏

It's a Wangxian and takes place after the war ¿? 🤔 I think. I remember that Lan Zhan has to accumulate power in his golden core and then transfer it to Wei Ying.

And Idk if it's the same fanfic, I think not, but Lan Zhan has to create a second golden core for Wei Ying.

I'm sorry, that's all I can remember. I have a terrible memory. Please help 🙏😔

FOUND? 🧡 Discarded by teawater (E, 141k, WIP, WangXian, Lots of Angst, Hurt/Comfort, YLLZ WWX, Golden Core Reveal, Case Fic, Depression, Family Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV Multiple, BAMF WWX, dubious morals in the Lan sect, Feels, Pining, Grief, Fix-It, BAMF LWJ) I remember a scene where LWJ gives WWX the second core he slowly grew over the years specifically for him in this one? - Mod C

FOUND? these colours fade for you only by doodlebutt (T, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everybody Lives, Golden Core Transfer, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, …eventually, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, bed sharing, Mutual Pining, like really unreasonable amounts of pining, Slow Burn) i'm not sure about the details, but maybe this fits? iirc lwj starts cultiivating a new core during sunshot and gives it to wwx right after

FOUND? three surgeries and a mercy kill by MarbleGlove (T, 11k, Medical Procedures, Demonic Cultivation, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Self-Indulgent, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies)

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11. Hi,This fic has the whole group thinking wei ying commited suicide but actually he ran away thinking everyone hates him and living in streets. Accidentally meets Lanzhan in a coffee shop who feels connected to him even though LZ thinks he is Mo xuanyu. starts taking care of him and the huisang plots to reveal weiying to all so things happen.LZ is super protective and its super angsty. Also LZ sleepwalks. Know the fic? @mridhu6

FOUND! Where You Fell by Sweet_William (E, 303k, wangxian, 3zun, NHS/JC, JYL/JZX, modern, coffee shop au, angst w happy ending, homeless au, pining, getting together, slow burn, implied/referenced child abuse, suicidal thoughts, self-esteem issues, autistic character, WWX has ADHD, panic attacks, hurt/comfort, implied/referenced sex work, implied/referenced substance abuse) but i dont remember reading about some of the details the asker mentioned, so it might not be the same fic

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12. Hello! Read a fic a couple months ago and have been scouring the internet to find it for the past week. (My apologies for the very bad recalling of what happened in the fic) Anyway, basic plot points that i remember was wwx had been asked to paint lwj bedroom walls and was given a key to his apartment (fairly sure they were already friends before this tho) also lwj had a pet rabbit that wwx would often feed. Sorry! I know there's not much to work with it for finding fic but I'd really appreciate @mopdopplophop

FOUND? show me a quiver, give me tonight by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 115k, wangxian, modern, artist au, communication failure, pining, angst w happy ending, demisexual WWX, mentioned past LWJ/OMCs, eventual smut, gossip, getting together, crack treated seriously, friends to friends w benefits to lovers, WWX pov)

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13. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic I've read a while ago. On that fic, an old person at Yilling confuses Wwx with a woman, and gives him a discount because they think he's a young woman who was abandoned with her son by her husband. Wwx starts dressing as a woman to gain people's sympathy and get discounts. He accidentally describes his husband as being Lwj, and when Lwj goes to Yilling people all but siege him because they think he's the scoundrel who abandoned his wife and son.

FOUND? Mother Knows Best by misbehavingvigilante (M, 12k, wangxian, canon divergence, crossdressing, food issues, gender identity, gender noncomforming, trans WWX, poverty)

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14. A) Hi, I'm trying to find a fic where its female wei ying who becomes pregnant with twins and is perilously I'll so lan zhan volunteers to marry her but something about a caravan attacked by jin and her becoming so I'll happens.. any idea

B) Hi, I'm trying to find a fic where wei ying is disguised as lan zhans bride fo be and weirdly makes friends with lan Quiren by being he model in law? @quxxnrandonmness27

14B)

FOUND? Wei Wuxian, Who’s That? by bumbledees (T, 48k, wangxian, crossdressing, pining, sibling feels)

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15. Hi could you help me find this fic, I think it's been deleted

I know the summary went like this

Wei Wuxian begins weakly, but Lan-laoshi, cruel as he is, continues speaking.“Well? I have provided you with three choices. You move, you act, or you let Wangji tutor you after school.” Lan-laoshi raises an eyebrow. “I, of course, recommend option two, as it would solve everyone’s problems, but alas. Teenagers.”He should choose to move classes. Lan-laoshi is right – it would help him focus, and it would help his grades, and Madam Yu would be less disappointed in him than she usually is. And Lan Wangji would be rid of him, which would undoubtedly make him more comfortable in his own damn class.But Wei Wuxian is weak. And horrible, and selfish, and so he chooses the third option. “Lan Wangji,” he says, turning to him with pleading eyes, “Lan-er-gege, light of my life – would you terribly mind tutoring me after school?”

Any help would be appreciated @imgonnablogtheworldtodeath

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16. Hi so i read this fic but i cant remember its name.this is a fic in which wangxian adopt a abused ayuan .he was abused by xue yang i think.and they adopt him and ayuan still has that trauma but slwlu overcomes it @rosy1324

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17. Hii for the next fic finder pls help me with a story where

wwx gets de aged (post canon) and doesn’t remember that Jiang Yanli is dead but he gets happy to see jin Ling even says something about JY to him (that he should address him better cause he’s his nephew). Then he goes to lotus pier because he wants to be with JC but he starts remembering more things and is sent back to cloud recess. The more the time pases the more he remembers and he gets where he remembers the wens, he’s happy to see Sizhui but discontented with the fact that after all he dies.

After that, His body kind of shuts down (replicating the years that was dead) and lwj has to keep passing energy so he doesn’t die and after a week or something he finally wakes up with full memory of what happened.

Thank you!! 💙💙

FOUND? Rewritten by yamadori (Katsumi27) (G, 6k, wangxian, JC & WWX, age regression/de-aging, hurt/comfort)

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18. Fic Finder for a twitter thread fic? It was Modern AU, LQR POV, and he was Convinced WWX was abusive toward LWJ. LWJ gets very sick and isn't answering LQR's phonecalls, and LQR assumes WWX is isolating LWJ from his family; it's implied LWJ had actually pulled away from LQR because of LQR's behavior. WWX and LWJ owned a farm with the wens and were raising a-Yuan. LQR goes to the farm for the first time and ends up seeing how much WWX cares for LWJ. @lewiscarrolatemybrain

FOUND? Twitter thread by enigmatree

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19. Hi! Can you help me find a fic? it is a time travel fic wherein Wangxian, Ayuan, Xicheng time traveled in the middle of Past wwx and jzx's fight? Yilling Laozu was hurt and he's craddling ayuan. There's also a part where the past characters thought HGJ and YLL were married and had a child which is Ayuan. It is also not Xicheng friendly if I remembered correctly. Thank you! @sandralyne07

FOUND? How did I end up with this Frozen Heart? by Grace_ShadowWolf (TaubeLePigeon) (T, 53k, WIP, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, YP!WWX, twin prides of yunmeng are horrified at the relationship between their future selves, YP!WWX has short hair, Canon Divergence, Self-Indulgent, wangxian get together early, Songfic, JC Bashing, LXC Bashing)

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20. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where I think WWX was a dragon or fox who imprinted on LWJ and refused to leave him. I don’t remember much but I think there was a scene where LXC says he can’t do anything about it because dragons/foxes are celestial beings and that LWJ should study some books… or something like that.

FOUND? To lurk, to lie in wait by trippednfell (M, 124k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Huli Jing, strangers to co-parents to lovers, Strangers to Lovers, Dragons, Kid Fic, teenage juniors, background NieLan, Angst with a Happy Ending, Case Fic, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Not Really Character Death, Fox Spirit WWX, Dragon LWJ, Blood and Injury, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

#20 sounds like a fic where Wei ying was a literal tiny noodle dragon 🐉 that literally imprinted on lan zhan and would ride on his shoulders and go to classes with him lol and they had to research how to get him back to human form. Wei ying apparently was messing around with arrays or something and sumoned and then was trapped by a celestial dragon being form. they fix it and then Wei ying becomes human and wakes up in bed with lan zhan lol

FOUND? Strange Magic by Sabinasan (T, 18k, wangxian, Alternate Universe, Cursed WWX, Fluff, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Cuddling & Snuggling, Possessive WWX, Protective WWX, Sharing a Bed, Sharing Clothes, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Hair Brushing)

~*~

#wangxian #mdzs #wangxian fic finder #wangxian fic search #the untamed #wangxianficfinder #long post

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dykewithamashobsession · 7 months

Text

Ok, but I'm sort of tempted to make a medieval M*A*S*H AU, set during the second outbreak of plague in the 15th century.

Btw, parenthesis give historical context.

Hawkeye would be a plague doctor of course, he was travelling past the village when the quarantine orders where set by the king, and the village's gates were closed.

You could do the same as Hawkeye's with a bit off difference in the story line for Trapper or Bj.

Potter/Henry could be the Steward (The person who watches over a lord's village when their gone)

There is a lot of things you could do for Radar, perhaps the Steward's scribe, clerk, or manservant.

Frank, the magistrate.

Margret could be Frank's second hand, except and in everything except name is the magistrate, and manages the workers. (Girls where often taught to prepare herbs and treat wounds back then, so you could probably throw that in that she's actually a really good nurse or apothecary and help Hawkeye etc.)

Mulchany, the friar of course, (Friars travel instead of staying in one place like a priest, so I like the idea he is stuck there too.)

Klinger, a seamstress or tailor. Perhaps he came to close up the shop for a dead uncle or something and gets stuck working it.

For other minor characters, you could have Igor own the village's Tavern, and maybe have some of the other enlisted men and nurses work for Frank and Margret.

Am I actually going to write this? Probably no, I suck at writing fanfics. Maybe I'll do some art or something later on, but I just thought this was a fun idea. Btw, it probably wouldn't be very historically accurate but meh, the show doesn't really care about that anyways.

#mash #mash 4077 #m*a*s*h #m*a*s*h 4077 #hawkeye pierce #margaret houlihan #max klinger #maxwell klinger #trapper john mcintyre #radar o'reilly #sherman potter #henry blake #father francis mulcahy #benjamin franklin pierce #frank burns #bj hunnicutt #mash posting #mashblr

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fandom-friday · 2 months

Note

QUARANTINED: RED ROBIN’S TIK TOK ACCOUNT by JustThatOneGirl1815 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23175265/chapters/55471618) Batman. Red Robin decides to make a vigilante themed Tik Tok account because it’s 2020 and all of Gotham is on lockdown. And he’s stuck at Wayne Manor with his siblings. Shenanigans ensue. This was written during 2020 and it shows with a lot of references to things that have happened during that year. It’s funny with some serious moments. And all round an enjoyable read!

Again, A+ title on this one, and even though this hits hard with the Covid-19 inclusion, WHEW I LOVE THE IDEA. Also, the summary had me cheering:

*Anakin Skywalker voice* "Now THIS is fanfic writing!!" In all honesty, I love that @justthatonegirl1815 had that kind of fun writing this, and that's exactly how it should be. It makes me want to read it purely because of how much fun was had. Thanks so much for sending this in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

#FANDOM FRIDAY #creator appreciation #fic rec #fanfiction #fan fic #batman #dc comics #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #bruce wayne #damian wayne #angst #fluff

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iwasforcedtomakethisbytum · 2 months

Note

Idk if you’re taking requests, but if you are, do you have any Texas (especially angst)? 👁️👁️

*🩴*

Well texas is my favorite character so thanks for giving me even more opportunity to talk about him

Well in the fanfic I'm writing (i haven't in a while actually i should probably get back to it) in texas's backstory he was homeschooled from the moment he was born, alaska stayed in school because he was old enough to convince his parents to not pull him out (they have an 11 year age difference) i feel his parents did it because they didn't like what was being taught in school and thought they could provide a better education, i feel from a young age he would be asking Alaska what he'd be learning and his parents just kinda gave up on Texas education especially when he wasn't picking up reading or not getting math, and basically texas had major education gaps that still effect him even if he's taught himself to make up for it

He runs away to Alaska house and Alaska didn't even know how but he did and there Alaska saw that Texas was 15 and could barely read, i feel alaska would think to put texas in school maybe get him in a special education program to catch him up but texas didn't have any legal documents on him so they just education him themselves

And years later in 2020 he's in his mid twenties he's got a job and a GED and he thinks he got over that time

Well no of course not because covid came and left him to be isolated yet again, and he can't handle how much it reminds him of the years he was homeschooled, he probably spent most of his time in quarantine just crying in bed

It wasn't like he didn't spend a decent amount of his free time at home because he didn't have many friends but it's more the fact he doesn't have a choice in the matter

Idk if it's amazing angst but it's there, do whatever you want with it

Y'know how cartoons will pretray characters sobbing eating ice cream, i feel like i could see that with him, maybe with others foods as well. Idk he just needs to have some kind of coping mechanism

#welcome to the table #welcome to the statehouse #wttt #wttsh #wttt texas

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seidenapfel · 2 years

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A Matter of Love and Despair by seidenapfel

2,801 words // Teen and Up // No archive warnings apply

Tags:

Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Family, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Fluff and Angst, POV Dean Winchester

Summary:

Cas is gone, like so many others in Dean's life. He has learned it early. Family is nothing but loss, death, and despair – and Sam.

But then Cas comes back, and with his friends and family around, family takes on a new meaning for Dean.

Read on AO3

My entry for Volume 4 of @supernaturalquaranzine.

Hope you enjoy!

#Destiel #deancas fanfic #Supernatural Quarantine Fanzine #seidenapfel writes #Destiel fanfic

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batrachised · 5 months

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I am SO curious what you think of specific LMM short stories - namely, The Waking of Helen, The Doctor's Sweetheart, and The Growing Up of Cornelia - but also just all of them bc there is so much going on in literally all of them (not even counting the insanity that is tannis of the flats). apologies if you've talked ab them before but I am intrigued as to if you've read them/have thoughts

Thanks for this ask, I find it really interesting! I also find it very appropriate for this kilmeny shebang, because I think kilmeny provides a very good illustration for this.

I don't think I've read all of LM Montgomery's short stories, although I know I've hit a good chunk of them, so that in and of itself tells you something. There are some I really, really love and that I think are LM Montgomery at her best (The Quarantine at Alexander Abraham's), but I find a lot of them to be LM Montgomery at her worst. Some of them encapsulate LM Montgomery's strengths in a really potent, concise way; a lot of them emphasize her weaknesses in parallel.

Because I haven't read a lot of them since I was a teen, I mostly have dim memories of the ones I liked, or of ones where I was like hmmm...that's funny, or the ones that I liked but now looking back am like hmm...that's funny. I used to love the Growing up of Cornelia quite a bit, but now I squint at it for obvious reasons. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOVED the fake dating one because I thought it was hilarious (this spinster lies to the town about having someone courting her, someone she completely fabricates - only for a man who happens to fit the description to a tee show up in a sheer shenanigan of fate). The Strike at Putney is my sister's favorite (the women of a church go on strike to combat sexism).

So overall, there are some jewels in in the mix. The form of a short story is such that in some ways, you have to strip writing and storytelling down to its bare elements. As such, I think the form of a short story is particularly well-suited to demonstrating Maud's strength of humor. When they're good, they're good.

However, as referenced, that often means when they're bad, they're bad. Some are technically well-written but gross in plotline (these are the ones that tend to be the ones I liked as a child, but as an adult..); a lot are both disturbing and imo pretty poorly written, much like a certain novel we've been discussing lately. We have Tannis (YIKES), the Education of Betty (YIKES), and others which kind of pull back the curtain on Maud.

LM Montgomery was no angel, and even beyond aspects of her you'd expect historically, she was just...kind of mean. I remember reading a letter of hers where she visited some equivalent of a girl scout troop and frankly talked about how she couldn't imagine any of the girls finding husbands because they were so plain and ugly. You see it pop up in her books, but it pops up a lot in her short stories as well. In the end, to answer your question in a general sense, I feel like overall the short stories have more kilmeny's than anne's.

Regarding the specific stories, I'd have to reread them. We did discuss the Growing Up of Cornelia on here a while back - I used to LOVE that one, but now as an adult I'm like more errrr. It is interesting to me because Sidney is the Dean Priest figure that ever haunts LMM's work. As for The Waking of Helen, iirc this is @mzannthropy's favorite! Unlike Kilmeny, it actually commits to its premise and so I think it works. I'm not really familiar with the Doctor's Sweetheart - I looked it up and nothing rang a bell.

For my favorite short stories (You didn't ask, but I shall answer anyway) - here are the ones that I remember even years later:

The Quarantine at Alexander Abraham's: iconic, in a word. endlessly quotable. A spinster woman who hates men quarantined with a confirmed bachelor who hates women? Much like the blue castle, this takes a basic fanfic trope (for tbc, 'where is my wife;' for this, quarantined together) and so successfully executes it you're left with your jaw on the floor.

The Strike at Putney: this is a sister's favorite, and I can see why. Women of the church learn that a missionary will not be allowed to occupy the pulpit to speak because she's a woman, and so they go on strike. It's also a emphasized critique of the undervaluing of women's work.

The Materializing of Cecil: GOD I REMEMBER LOVING THIS ONE. This unmarried woman is embarrassed to be unmarried at forty and so flagrantly invents a lover to her sewing circle - only for a man who fits the description to SHOW UP. It's hilarious. However, as a content warning, I reread it to find there is less than fantastic description of a Chinese man near the end.

The Little Brown Book of Miss Emily: guess what? this one is in first person, and that person is ANNE. 😱 this one...it's sad, but it always stayed with me. I have read quite a few lmm stories and forgotten most, but not this one. Also, its final line is beautiful to me.

#thanks for the ask!#lm montgomery #lm montgomery short stories #aogg #kilmeny of the orchard

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wen-kexing-apologist · 9 months

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Hello.....How are you? Thanks so much for sharing your analysis in your blog. I'm new to BL. I felt really helped in finding your blog. I lived in a country where LGBTQ+ is considered taboo and my own family saw it as something sinful. Until I found mlm fanfics (I know it's a ridicilous reason for why now I'm interested in BL & GL media).

Can I ask, what are your top 7 (or top 5) favorite BL media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series) ? Why do you love them? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite GL media? Sorry for asking similar question like from someone before (hope you don't mind).

Thanks again, @wen-kexing-apologist 💐🌻🌷

Hello! So sorry this took so long to respond to, I have been really busy and this write up took me a bit of time to get together.

Thanks for reaching out, I’m sorry that your family sees queerness as sinful. I’m sure we come from different countries, and different cultures, but I hope I can give you some comfort by saying I am proud of who I am and I love being queer. I love my queer friends, they are without a doubt the kindest and most caring people I have ever met. And you do not need to apologize at all for asking a similar question to a previous ask. I also hope you know that it is not ridiculous at all to have your eyes opened by mlm fanfiction, I promise.

So my list of (some) of my favorite BLs are:

ITSAY/IPYTM

180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us

Moonlight Chicken

—

The Eclipse

Our Dining Table

La Pluie

He’s Coming to Me

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (adding this as a special #8 because it is one of my favorites but may be hard to find)

You’re My Sky

Gameboys

Because this is a similar ask to one I recently got I am going to direct you to that for my explanations on 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us (available on Gagaoolala), I Told Sunset About You and I Promise You The Moon (available on Viki), and Moonlight Chicken (available on YouTube) and add three other shows: What Did You Eat Yesterday?, You’re My Sky, and Gameboys.

If you stick around in this fandom long enough you will start to see that Bad Buddy (available on YouTube) is one of most beloved shows on tumblr. I love love love that show, but it is not in my favorites the way these other shows are. However, I would HIGHLY recommend you watch it if you haven’t already. It is incredible, and a very important piece of BL history both for the level of popularity it gained and the way it subverted BL as a genre.

That said, let’s get in to my favorite BLs and why I love them, again in alphabetical order:

Gameboys

(Pinoy BL- Season 1: Available on YouTube or Netflix, Season 2: Available on Gagaoolala in Asia or with a VPN that can make it seem like you are in Asia)

Contains Themes of: Quarantine, COVID, death, queer character being outed against their will

I literally just finished the first season of this show today, but have to thank @bengiyo for telling me this is what I should watch next because I absolutely loved it. It is the story of two boys, stuck in quarantine in the Phillipines during the COVID pandemic that meet over an online game and fall in love. I agree with Ben that this is an incredibly well handled pandemic story, the actors are fantastic, their chemistry is believable and natural, and I appreciate that they let these boys be horny for each other. I loved watching the highs and lows of their blossoming relationship and I am so looking forward to watching Season 2 when they are together in person and seeing if and how that changes their dynamic.

He’s Coming to Me

(Thai BL- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: death of a teenager (related to heart problems), murder

I talked about this show in one of my tag games as my pick for most underrated series in Thai QL. Which I stand by because this show did not have the distribution it should have due to fan interference because they were upset about Singto being moved from a match up with Krist to instead star opposite Ohm.

This is a show that I have labeled as By, For, and About Queer people. This is an Aof Noppharnach piece that is just absolutely beautiful in the way it explores the growing realization about your own queerness as Ohm’s character (Thun) starts to develop feelings for Singto’s character (Med). I love the additional layer to this show that comes with Med being a ghost who can only be seen by Thun, and how we don’t just get an explicitly queer character in an explicitly queer relationship, but that we also get a metaphor for queerness in the fact that Thun has to keep himself and his abilities private. When he hangs out with Med in public, no one can see him, and Thun often ends up talking to air, which results in people constantly staring at him in confusion, concern, or disgust. This show will remind you that Ohm has always been The Actor of All Time, the way his voice creaks in this show still haunts me to this day. I liked the mystery element in this show, I loved the rooftop confessions and the coming out scene. I loved all the ways this show was just so so so queer. Now that it has been released to the general public, I think every person who watches Thai BL should watch this show.

La Pluie

(Thai BL- Available on IQIYI)

Contains Themes of: lying to a romantic partner

God this show is an incredible, brilliant, perfectly executed subversion of the soulmates trope. A theme I am generally sensing in the content I am sharing is that queer characters are allowed to be flawed human beings. Tai needs to learn how to use his words, Patts is perfect but does have a temper that he is managing extremely well, Tien is perfect but does constantly undermine and underplay his own emotions to support the other people in his life, Lomfon is rude. This show has a lot of very smart things to say, and allows its characters to both experience desire, and sexual frustration, it uses giving sexual pleasure as a way for a character to maintain control over new forms of intimacy. Myself and my fellow clowns on this website (especially @bengiyo and @lurkingshan) have fought for this show tooth and nail for weeks upon weeks to make sure that as many people as possible were watching this absolutely beautiful show.

Our Dining Table

(Japanese BL- Available on Gagaoolala)

Contains Themes of: death, child neglect, grief

This is a very short, very sweet, wonderful spot of comfort and warmth. Its main themes are found family and navigating grief. It has the cutest little boy in the world who is just a bouncing ball of sunshine, and he and this show won my entire heart. I love this show for what it says about family, about care and love, sacrifice and healing. Even for the parts of the show that center around pain, this show is just so full of joy. I loved watching Yutaka open up, loved watching Minoru have a chance to relax, I loved Ueda-san getting to watch his son fall in love to become happier by way of existing around his sons’ happiness. I love that Minoru is very much an older brother to Tane, not a parent, despite how much care he gives him, and I love that Yutaka and Tane are genuinely friends.

The Eclipse

(Thai BL- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: threats against protestors (including cars rolling in to crowds), suicide, grief, internalized homophobia, homophobia, authoritarianism, emotional manipulation, thoughts of suicide, queer character being outed against their will

This is absolutely one of my favorite BLs, beyond the fact that the acting is incredible, the characters are allowed to be very flawed, very complex, and very morally gray the story itself is incredibly layered and is a huge social commentary on rebelling against authoritarianism, the ways in which identities and oppression are leveraged against marginalized people to get them to commit heinous acts against the people they should be standing with and not against. This show touches on so many different things: justice, hypocrisy, manipulation, love, fear, internalized homophobia, rebellion, activism. This show gave me both my favorite war criminal and his rat bastard boyfriend. It has some of my favorite kisses and favorite crying scenes. And it introduced me to the powerhouse duo of First and Khaotung.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

(I am honestly not sure where you can find this easily, outside of @kinounaniresource. there is one season, a special, and a movie. There is a Season 2 on the way, and I am also not sure when it is going to be released or if it is going to be released on any particular platform)

Contains Themes of: internalized homophobia, homophobia, character with history of child abuse

I am honestly not sure if this technically qualifies as a BL, but it is certainly a show that centers around an already established, older gay couple. This is a story about a couple staying together, and there is an undercurrent of long carried pain that is tucked so neatly between the layers of cooking, and eating, and love for one another. I do not really know how to explain this show beyond it just being one of the best things out there. We are so so lacking in elder queer content, honestly this is the only show I have seen out of 60+ QLs I have watched in the last year that has a main queer couple over the age of probably 25. I love the dynamic between Shiro and Kenji so much because who doesn’t love couples comprised of one puppy dog of a man and one man with the energy of a very annoyed cat?

You’re My Sky

(Thai BL- available on Viki)

Contains Themes of: betrayal, cheating, sports related injury

This show has some of the most beautiful, saturated coloring of any show I have ever seen, the influence of I Told Sunset About You is incredibly clear (which makes sense because a screenwriter and director on You’re My Sky was a Screenwriter on ITSAY/IPYTM). I am not a huge sports person, but I do love a sports drama, and this one does a stellar job with the way it shoots it’s basketball games. It has Suar, who I was first introduced to as Tien in La Pluie as the main character and he is just SO. GOOD. This dude has been in three shows TOTAL and he just absolutely DEMOLISHES this role, and his role in La Pluie. Seriously, even if you could not give two shits about basketball (as a sport I do not, in this show I care very much) you should watch this show just to see Suar run a masterclass in acting.

Girl Loves

Unfortunately, there are not a lot of girl love shows that exist, the only one I have even seen coming out of Asia is GAP the series (a handful more exist, but they either seem to not be popular and/or are hard to access). It is an unfortunate reality that we are still fighting for more WLW content, especially GL content where the romance is the main and central plot. So, I don’t have a strong list to give you, because what does exist is limited and often gets canceled, but I will give you what information I do have:

Carmilla

GAP the Series

Carmilla

(Canada- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: student disappearances, death, undeath

This is an 8 year old Western webseries based on the book of the same name. I watched this around the time it came out and loved it a lot. There are a couple seasons and a movie, all of it is really really good, and was some of the earliest queer representation I had, including having the first non-binary character I had ever seen on screen (does not mean there weren’t others, this is just the first one that I found). This is a webseries so it takes place almost exclusively in one room.

GAP the Series

(Thai GL- Available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: severe homophobia, suicide, emotional abuse, death of a sibling

GAP was fun, it started out really strong, but it did lose me a little bit at the end. But that is mostly because I am not the biggest fan of boss and employee stories where an equal power balance is not established. I think it s a really solid attempt at kickstarting GL into an industry rather than just an occasional one off. This is required viewing in my opinion because of how it was funded, and because it has some of the highest view rates out there for queer Thai shows, and really helped prove that GLs were stories that people really really wanted to see (read: production companies started to realize they could make a lot of money).

I can offer you a suggestion from other people:

She Loves to Cook, She Loves to Eat

(Japanese GL- I have not seen this yet and I am not sure where you can find this show. But I do know that everyone who has seen it loves it, and I plan to watch it soon. A Season 2 was announced recently but is not out yet)

Non GL shows that either have a lesbian or bisexual character and/or have a GL pairing as a side plot:

Bad Buddy (the second couple, but still has limited screen time)

Secret Crush on You (very minor couple, but has been in a relationship from the beginning)

La Pluie (A very small part of the story)

Lovely Writer (I have not seen this show, I do not know exactly what the plot is, or what purpose this character serves, but I know there is a bisexual character named Tiffy, who won the BL Bisexual Swag

The Warp Effect (one of the shows with a pretty strong lesbian couple)

Gameboys and Pearl Next Door

A book I really love with a WLW couple in it and a gay character is The Priory of the Orange Tree

GMMTV has started filming their first GL, which we hope will air late this year (or maybe early next year), it’s called 23.5 Degrees and I am very much looking forward to it!

Queer Shows

I’ll give you some bonus suggestions that are very queer shows, but aren’t defined as BL or GL

The Warp Effect

Gay OK Bangkok

3 Will Be Free

The Owl House

Deadend Paranormal Park

The Warp Effect

(Thai- available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: abortion, sexual assault, physical assault, internalized homophobia, transphobia, religious trauma, bodyshaming, slut shaming, kink shaming, workplace sexual harassment, homophobia

If it is queer and from Thailand and I love it, odds are extremely high that Jojo Tichakorn wrote and directed it. Despite some very heavy themes this was a very very fun watch, it is one of the most kink positive, sex positive, and queer shows that I have seen. I have a friend who is a sex educator and I want them to watch this show for it’s public speech announcements about getting HPV vaccines and how pelvic exams work. This is not a show I can explain super well, but it is one that I highly recommend, and if you are planning on watching Only Friends, then it is something I consider a required viewing.

Gay OK Bangkok

(Thai- available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: cheating, HIV

This is a very real look at the existence of gay men in Bangkok, I love it so much. This is a pair up between Jojo and Aof, two of my favorite directors. It is not a feel good show, it is an honest one. I think everyone should watch it.

3 Will Be Free

(Thai- available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: cheating, manslaughter, murder, murder of a spouse, kidnapping, domestic abuse, sexual assault, strangulation, transphobia, death, gun violence

Once again, a Jojo show, and once again, despite the list of themes within the show, a very fun watch. This is one of, if not the only GMMTV show with a throuple, and is honestly very hilarious by way of three idiots on the run from the mafia, accidentally through mostly shit dumb luck and the fact that everyone is stupid, taking down a criminal empire.

The Owl House

(United States- available on Disney+, season 3 available on YouTube)

Contains Themes of: white supremacy, child abuse, child neglect, heavy trauma, mind and body control, death, possible world destruction

This is an animated show that I love dearly and one I find incredibly important for the next generation of queer people to see. The main character is neurodivergent, she is bisexual and gets a girlfriend, there is a non-binary side character, and there is also just a lot of casual queer representation. This show has a lot to say, and says it well, it is adorable and heartbreaking and everything in between and the fact that it got canceled is honestly a tragedy.

Dead End: Paranormal Park

(United States- available on Netflix)

Contains Themes of: possession, murder, death, undeath, paranormal activity, religious infighting, amnesia, animal death, kidnapping, child death, implied transphobia

This is also an animated show that I love dearly and one I find incredibly important for the next generation of queer people to see. The main character is trans, the other main character is neurodivergent and bisexual, there is a lot of casual queer representation. Like The Owl House this show has a lot to say, and says it well, it is adorable and heartbreaking and everything in between and the fact that it got canceled is also a tragedy.

[I realize for The Owl House and Deadend Paranormal Park that my descriptions are very similar, but I cannot stress enough that these two shows have very different premises and tell very different stories. They are just animated shows that are able to contain a lot more queer representation that the stories that came before them, because of the stories that came before them]

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bookscandlesnbts · 7 months

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Quick facts about me that no one asked for:

Figured since I’ve posted more here and answered some asks, I would share some facts about me on my blog both BTS/Jikook related and non related.

1.) I became ARMY during quarantine era. A friend got me into them. After I watched their MMA 2019 performance I was blown away. She was a Yoongi bias so that is whose content I initially watched and gravitated towards. When I ventured out on my own and watched more performance stages and Run BTS I knew immediately that I was drawn to Jimin. Everything from his stage presence, gorgeous vocals and dance lines, funny and sassy personality, but also super empathetic and caring. He was it for me and still is. But I do love all seven of them. I could probably rank them in order of my “favorites” but Jimin would be number 1 without a doubt.

***super fun fact is that I actually first was exposed to BTS in 2017 :( that’s right, I could have stanned back then. I frequently kind of kidding but not really refer to this as my biggest regret. An undergrad in my research group was obsessed with them. She showed me a clip of them dancing and probably because I didn’t like her that much (she was friends with someone toxic) I chalked it up as so they sing and dance? Who cares. I ended up reconnecting with her later when I stanned and found out that she was a low-key TKK shipper and loved reading their fanfics. By that point, I was already sus of Jikook so we clashed and I don’t talk to her. 🤣

2.) That brings me to point number two. The most important: Jikook. I wish I could remember the first time I was like yep this is a thing but I don’t. I do remember the first Jikook moment that I was exposed to was their Black Swan pas de deux. I remember finding their chemistry palpable and bold of them to perform a romantic dance together but that was it. The more I watched Run BTS and being a Jimin bias I couldn’t help but notice JK too and their closeness. What was the nail in the coffin so to speak? The cliches. GCF Tokyo and Rosebowl did it for me and I’ve been endeared by them ever since.

3.) I’m a sort of Jikook fanfic writer on A03 who I guess is on a hiatus and has been for awhile now. I love fanfiction and have been reading it and writing it a little since I was like 12. I was never a RPF girlie until BTS but I view them as characters in a story because that is what they are when I’m reading or writing fics. Not the actual people.

4.) I’m asexual and probably aromatic to some extent too. Asexuality is so misunderstood, I could go on about it for days, but I’m not the authority on it by any means. I like the idea of sex in the abstract. Fanfics, great. M/M where I don’t feel inserted in the act, even better. I’m not a prude, I just don’t experience sexual attraction. The idea of looking at someone even the tannies and wanting to fuck them makes me uncomfortable and it’s something I can’t relate to and have never felt. I’ve had sex of course, but it’s never lived up to the hype for me. I can definitely live without it. As far as being aromantic that I’m not sure. I love the idea of romance or I wouldn’t be so smitten with Jikook and other cute couples. I don’t actively seek romance in my life. I don’t date or want to date. I haven’t had a crush on someone in like 10 years. I’m not opposed to it. Their gender wouldn’t matter to me but it’s not something I feel like I need in my life. If you are anywhere on the ace spectrum or are LGBTQIA+, hi you are more than welcome here.

5.) I’m educated! I have a PhD in chemistry. I am on the Professor track and I teach organic chemistry. I spent 7 years in grad school combined for my masters and PhD.

So yeah! This way you know a little about me when you send in asks. I am terrible at formatting and use my phone only for Tumblr, so my blog probably won’t ever be pretty. I’m just here for connections and content that is more in depth than Twitter. Yes, I’m still calling it twitter. Sorry not sorry Elon.

#about myself #kookmin #jikook #blogger

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vinsmokewife · 6 months

Text

begging you

day 15 of a very zosan centric kinktober - dubcon

Sanji is in quaratine until his heat cycle finishes for his own safety. Zoro finds himself drawn to his room due to the smell coming from it. A very heat intoxiacated Sanji begs him to mate him and Zoro cannot say no.

tw as this is dubcon. it wasn't the ABO fic I wanted to write but I am thinking of writing a proper fanfic but it's on the list for when kinktober is over.

this can be read as being opla as it is set before they get chopper

So funny thing about being on a pirate ship with no doctor is that things can start to go downhill fast. This is especially true when one of your crewmates doesn’t inform people that they are an omega who relies on suppressants to keep their heats at bay.

This was true for Sanji who didn’t feel the need to tell his crew that he was an omega that took suppressants to stop himself from going into heat. Maybe he was too caught up in the moment to realise what he had not told the others. He was the only omega on ship. Although gender roles would tell you otherwise, Nami is a beta. So is Luffy for that matter. Luffy didn’t actually see the whole problem. Usopp and Zoro on the other hand were alpha’s and saw a slight issue with Sanji not informing the others of this.

Well, it kind of interferes with them. See, they didn’t have to worry about the real possibility that everyone living in close proximity might cause a reaction of natural instincts, especially since everyone is so close together. Well, until now, they were all sleeping in the same room.

It was decided that either until they reach somewhere with a doctor, or the heat wears off, Sanji would have to quarantine from everyone else. See, a doctor would be able to fix this up.

It had caused a little bit of discomfort among the crew...apart from Luffy and Nami who weren’t bothered or affected by it. Nami had to basically play messenger between the two parties. The other problem was food. Sanji couldn’t cook under quarantine.

Usopp appeared to not be overly affected by it. Edgy, as he didn’t want to do anything that was out of pocket. He ended up distracting himself with making new weapons in a room far away from the quarantine room.

Zoro on the other hand liked to stay on the upper deck. Problem was, he couldn’t get away from the smell. Heats all smelt different. Pheromones were different depending on the person. Sanji’s pheromones smelt...sweet. Like baking or like sweets were just coming out of the oven. Zoro, every time he had to get a waft of it wanted to follow the scent and... now, he had to resist the urge. It’s just a biological response.

He overheard Nami talking about Sanji to Luffy who, despite not actually understanding the situation, was concerned that Sanji was under the weather and well...apparently, he was not doing too well. Which is an unfortunate part of being an Omega... when your biological needs are not being met, your body punishes you for not meeting those urges. Zoro doesn’t know what that’s like obviously but...it sounded like hell.

Still, every time Nami came up from quarantine, she brought that smell with her. The sweet cake like smell. It was quite faint now, but he could imagine it was rather...pungent downstairs.

He had to find out...for curiosity sake. It wasn’t as if he was going into the room. So, he made the decision to go further downstairs into the basement and he was right, there was a very close pungent smell of cakes and sweets. Zoro tried to make his foots quiet as he approaches the door. He knew that Sanji would be behind that door. He approaches the door quietly and, in the silence, something cut through the air. He listened to the sound a little more and it sounded like...sounds of discomfort.

Zoro knew better than to let some silly urges get in the way. He didn’t even like Sanji all that much anyway. But an omega was an omega, and his alpha side was urging him to do what he was supposed to do and breed the omega inside...which he couldn’t do but his feet wouldn’t move. He was glued to the floor.

He couldn’t listen to this anymore. If he did, he was going to do something that he knew himself he shouldn’t do but his body would not allow him to move.

Turning, he went to walk away when he heard the door open. He froze.

“Nami? Is that you?”

He hadn’t heard Sanji’s voice for a day now and it definitely sounded nothing like how it was before. His voice sounded so hoarse before. Zoro stopped in his tracks. It would be easier to ignore him and walk away but his alpha side couldn’t do that so he answered against his best judgement

“No. It’s me,” Zoro’s voice hitched but only slightly, “I was just coming to see if you were okay...”

Bullshit and Sanji probably knew it. When did he ever check on him when he was injured? Not out of any malice or anything but they respected each other to know that they would both be okay when something bad happened. There was a beat of a silence before Zoro knew that Sanji probably knew that he was coming down here based on his urges and Zoro suddenly felt a bit of annoyance at himself. He was better than this.

“I... can see the answer anyway...I’m going back up-”

As Zoro was turning to leave, he could hear the door opening more and that waft of pheromones got stronger. He held his breath in that moment.

“Y-you don’t have to go...why don’t you come inside?”

Zoro knew himself that this wasn’t wise. As soon as he ends up in Sanji’s room, it will be a death trap for both of them. He won’t be able to hold his urges and he will do something he regrets. Although, he wonders if Sanji is thinking the same. The strong smell of pheromones and the way Sanji was inviting him into his room...was this an invitation?

“I don’t know how wise that would be. You...You know what I am, don’t you?”

Sanji didn’t answer for a second. Zoro turned around and was only met with the door slightly opened and he wasn’t outside. Neither of them would cross the threshold of the door.

“You...You’ve made things worse by coming down here. I could smell you when you decided to come down here,”

Zoro didn’t realise he was giving off such a strong scent either. He didn’t know what to say in response other than, “Sorry...I didn’t realise I was-”

“If you leave me now, you’re just going to make things worse for me,” Sanji replied. There was a hint of desperation inside of his voice. He sounded a little...intoxicated actually. Like he wasn’t himself, but Zoro knew he hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. Was it all the pheromones between the two men? “You’re going to have to come in and...”

No. Don’t say it.

Zoro did the only thing he could which was turn a heel back and head towards the door, “Do you hear yourself? You are about to ask me of all people to...mate with you?” Zoro stood outside the door but again, didn’t cross the threshold, “This is insane and your own fault. Why didn’t you tell us? You knew you were travelling with two alphas on board. Why would you endanger yourself like this?”

Again, a beat of silence as Sanji was likely thinking about what to say to him. He doubted that Sanji had much ability right now. It was...known the Omegas tend to become intoxicated with their need to mate. He didn’t think that Sanji actually probably even wanted this right now. Zoro wasn’t even sure if he wanted too either.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t think about this! Fuck, I don’t need you to lecture me. You can barely stay away from me like this...” Sanji groaned in a moment of clarity, but it went away quickly, “Your smell is just going to linger here. I’m going to be in absolute hell if you don’t do something about it. Please, Zoro. I’m begging you,”

The door opened more, and it was the first time that Zoro got a look at the man in question. Sanji looked...bedraggled. He looked tired and his skin looked red. He looked like he would be hot to touch. He looked like he’d been rolling in bed doing God knows what. Most importantly he just didn’t look like himself...

He reached out for Zoro who just stared at him as if he was a ghost or something. Sanji’s hand, which was hold, held onto his arms and made a pulling motion.

“You want to breed me. You’re an alpha. I know you want to. Please...I’m so tired,”

Zoro felt himself at at a crossroad. He knew that Sanji likely wasn’t himself and if he did breed him, Sanji would likely come to his senses and be mad at him. However, he could see that Sanji just wanted relief and...

Wait...why is he considering it? And why were his feet taking him into the room?

As Zoro went into the room, the smell hit him in an overwhelming capacity. It smelt of Sanji, but also smelt of the undeniable smell of slick and sweat which turned him on. God, he was turned on. It was the first time he noticed how heavy his knot felt in his pants.

“Have you...ever bred an omega?” Oh, look at that, Sanji was removing his clothes now. Well, it wasn’t like he was wearing much anyway. A bed shirt was all he seemed to be wearing which he was now taking off.

Zoro shook his head, “Never.”

Sanji looked at him before replying, “I’ve never been bred. So that makes two of us,”

Zoro could only help but stare at Sanji. He’d never seen the blonde like this. He’d never even considered seeing him like this. Sanji was a pain; a nuisance who threw himself at women and yet, he was an omega. Now, Zoro was seeing him differently and right now...he knew he was done for. His knot was too heavy for him to back out.

“Are you just going to stare at me?” Sanji’s tone went to its usual annoyed, but he seemed to be flushed from Zoro’s eyes baring holes into him. Sanji sat on the edge of the bed and spread his legs which.... oh shit. Zoro’s eyes at once went to that slicked hole. Sanji was rock hard, but slick covered his thighs and made him very...inviting, “Or are you going to breed me?”

Zoro took a second before beginning to undo his pants. Sanji watched in absolute delight as Zoro’s cock sprung out. He was huge with an even bigger and heavier knot at the base. Any Omega would die for an alpha with such a knot.

“I... Are you sure...?”

Once they started, there was no going back, and Zoro was of sound mind to know that. Sanji was not behaving himself and he knew that all he wanted right now was to make sure he wasn’t taking advantage of him...but when he was begging and looking so delectable...

“Fuck. Are you going to keep hesitating or are you going to fuck me?” But apparently Sanji was becoming impatient with him, so Zoro approached the Omega and grabbed his legs and hoisted them over his shoulder before leaning in and teasing the head of his cock against Sanji’s wet hole which.... he then pushed in.

“Ah- Alpha~”

Being that Sanji was so wet, it made this a whole lot easier for Zoro and a whole lot nicer. Zoro couldn’t contain the moan that came from him when he nestled himself in that slick hole. He couldn’t believe that no one had wanted to mate with Sanji before. Even though Zoro had absolutely no one to compare him to, Sanji felt amazing around his cock. Tight and wrapped around him nicely. As if Sanji was made for his cock.

Zoro pulled his cock back only to push it back in again. This was it. This would be the end for him. There was no way he’d ever be able to go back from this. His rhythm became fast and hard. He would threaten to slip his knot back in but then would pull himself back out. Zoro had his face buried in Sanji’s shoulder as his hips fucked him with wild abandon. He hadn’t realised it yet, but Sanji had wrapped his arms around Zoro’s back to keep him there and didn’t want to let him go. Every now and then, Zoro would bare his teeth against Sanji’s shoulder.

If it wasn’t for the fact he was already doing something that dubious, he would have sunk his teeth into Sanji’s shoulder, but he knew the importance of doing such a thing. That was an act of claiming someone as your own and he knew for a fact that this right here was already pushing it too far.

“That’s it...good Omega...taking my cock like this...think you can take this big knot too?” Zoro grunted against Sanji’s ear as his hips went faster and faster, the sound of loud slapping and moaning being the only thing between them There was nothing that would be able to take Zoro away from Sanji. He was going to breed him if he had anything to say anything about it.

“You’re going to look so good with my babies...” Zoro groaned into Sanji’s ear. He knew in reality that neither of them likely wanted to have children but the fact that neither of them were using any protection. Sanji was at serious risk of having his babies...and why did Zoro love that, “I’m going to fill you up so full so you’re going to fucking have my babies..”

“Ah! Alpha...” Sanji groaned throwing his head back, “Please... I want your knot...” It wasn’t long until he cried out and clenched his hole around Zoro’s cock, milking him and pulling him in more which meant that Zoro had no choice but to give Sanji what he wanted by pushing his large knot inside Sanji’s hole which made Sanji cry out more.

Zoro groaned as he began to fill Sanji with his hot cum. His knot now kept them together as Sanji collapsed against the bed. Zoro rested his head against Sanji’s shoulder as the pair of them panted together. Zoro moved so he could go on the bed and pull Sanji close to him so they were together...and totally not so he could hold him. That alpha instinct made him want to hold Sanji, protect him while they were together.

Because of that, he kissed Sanji’s hair and wrapped his arms around him, “Good Omega...good,”

#zoro x sanji #one piece zosan #zosan fanfic #roronoa zoro #vinsmoke sanji #zosan #kinktober 2023

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suffarustuffaru · 27 days

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If you don't mind me asking but when did you first get into re:zero

yeah i dont mind at all :o ig yallre gonna hear my full origin story now haah. its my—my… ok id say tragic backstory but i dont think this is really that tragic LMAO. my humorous backstory? silly backstory?

anyway i got into rezero in summer of 2020!! this was months before s2 started airing and by around this time there was just s1, s1 directors cut may or may not have been out?? i forgor :<, but then s2’s first teaser came out right about now.

it was quarantine…. i was bored one day and wanted smth new to watch… and by then id only really briefly seen rezero—like you know that s1 promo poster with subaru standing there while surrounded by some of the main girls in s1 (beatrice felt emilia rem ram)?? yeah id seen that. in the back of my mind i kinda assumed the show was just another one of those abt a dude surrounded by his harem of girls or smth?? :< but then i learned the Real Premise is the time travel. via death!!!! and ive always loveddd angst and whump so i was like “NO FUCKING WAY I HIT THE JACKPOT” and eagerly looked into rezero some more to see if it was worth watching. and then i saw all the shit reviews on rz that never seemed to agree on if it was good or not…… and then gigguk’s video…… and then i saw mother’s basement on youtube make a defense of rezero s1 and i was like!!! ok fuck it im watching this show. i want the angst i want the complex time travel shit. i think id spoiled myself on a couple of subarus deaths by this point trying to decide if i should commit to rezero and then i started binge watching s1!! esp when i was like ok this is a good time to get into it s2 was announced right??

anyway i got hooked on rezero fr 👍👍 the first s1 emisuba lap pillow had me quaking in my boots ;-;;; and i was already invested from ep1 bc i liked the characters a lot already!!! i am simply BUILT DIFFERENT i loved subaru from day one!!! by the royal selection episodes ofc i was dying of secondhand embarrassment but tbh i grew even more invested in rezero after that!! i was and still am super impressed that the narrative had the balls to have subaru fuck up sooo so so bad there. like seeing that emisuba argument and the julisuba duel for the first time was crazyyy. the conflict was really good and the latter s1 development…. woagh.

and then you know i finish s1 and i immediately get to researching how to read, i read arc 4’s wn and bawl my eyes out from the sheer amount of rollercoaster both the emotions and Long Ass Novel gave me (yes i was bawling my eyes out at parent and child) (yes i was bawling my eyes out at choose me) (yes i was bawling my eyes out for all the suffering loops) (yes i was bawling) (i have no clue how i read all those pages fr like that arc is massive), i speedrun arc 5, i accidentally spoil certain bits for myself (arc 6 stuff), i read most of arc 6 in spurts, tune in every week for s2 (and bawled my eyes out seeing the s2 part 1 op for the first time) etc etc!! one thing lead to another and now i am here…….. three yrs in this fandom… nearly (?) a yr being active on rezero tumblr… HAH

also i made a reddit account back inn…. 2020 or 2021 bc i wanted to be a tinyyy bit active in rezero reddit (this was half a mistake btw. i think i have more balls of steel now but my younger self was sooooo naive. shaking them by the shoulders. this is an anime fandom!!!!!! and this is reddit!!! whatre u expecting???? i am less shy now on the internet thats for sure!!). anyway im still a tiny bit active on rz reddit now after not touching it for like a year. now i use my reddit account for spreading otto propaganda and slander /lh …../hj

but anyway ive never been active in fandoms until rezero and thats bc id usually lurk and a lot of my past hyperfixation medias were :< big fandoms :<<< but then. ok im a fanfic enjoyer and i didnt write much fanfic or publish fic at all before this fandom but then in 2020 after watching s1 i checked rezero’s ao3 page and *sniffles* *sobs* thERE WAS ONLY LIKE 2 PAGES ON THERE MAN….. A WHOLE DESERT…. yes and then one thing lead to another and now there is more fic and also ig id be considered an english fic writer elder maybe…… i started posting in like fall/winter 2020? and maaaan im one of the only ppl from that era whos still posting i think!!! ive seen the entire english fanfic scene pop up!! ive participated in a bunch of community events… sooo wild to think about. i feel old guys!!!

but now i have gotten more and more active in the rz fandom yes :3 its been fun!! rezero is very important media to me and ive met lots of cool people in my time here :) when october 2024 rolls around itll be s3 time (AAAAA HYPE HYPE HYPE) and like four yrs of me being in this fandom?? its wild but my lifes genuinely changed a lot bc of me getting into rezero!! met lots of cool people… made pals… gotten my writing and art out there and improved on it via. large amounts of rezero fanart HAH.. became more unhinged.. etc etc :D even got to meet one of my buddies i met via rezero irl 👍👍 more irl crossover events will happen i swear.

also gigguk in my eyes redeemed himself for his old rezero skit vid by making a glowing review for rezero s2 with his pals. i can forgive him i suppose :<<<

in conclusion: idk if i count as a fandom elder but i sure have a lot of my own fandom lore pfft :<<<

#ask #suffaru post #people including english professors have told me theyre impressed with my writing but truth is ive just been writing a shit ton of anime #fanfic for the last three or so years LMFAO

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