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ilyasorokinn · 6 months

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the perfect father , elias pettersson

note, this was originally written for jacob markstrom but i decided to rewrite it for someone else. just a personal thing. also, this fic is part of the "home with the petterssons" series. check out this masterlist for more. timeline: this takes place between february 2021-october 2021 pair, elias pettersson x reader summary, y/n and elias manage to keep a huge secret from the world during quarentine. warnings, children/kids, pregnancy, covid/quarantine, a little cheesey word count, 3873 words

(gif not mine)

The NHL schedule was confusing during the regular season, but now you were even more confused with the 2020-2021 season underway. So, to make things easier for you, Elias bought a calendar with your favorite animals and filled it out with all the dates of games.

The calendar really came in handy when planning your doctor's appointment. You had a hunch about what was causing all your sickness and it wasn't a cold.

So, you called the person you knew you could rely on, the one person who would give you the advice you needed to hear and would give you the cold hard truth even if it would hurt.

Holly Horvat.

She did indeed give you the cold hard truth and confirmed your suspicions. She also stayed on the line with you while you booked your appointment.

In the meantime, to ease some anxiety and nerves, you went to the store and grabbed as many pregnancy tests as you could fit in your hands. You purchased them and rushed home as fast as you could.

You sat on the closed toilet lid, head in hand as you waited for your timer to go off. Those two minutes felt like hours. You didn't ever understand that feeling before, but you did now. Time really did go slower.

You and Elias had been together for almost five years, engaged for less than a year, and everything was great. You were great. You had talked about babies briefly, but you talked about it as if it was something in the distant future. After marriage, after a few years more in the league. Clearly, life doesn't always go the way you want it to.

When the timer went off, you jumped out of your skin. You pulled your hands away from your eyes and flipped the tests over, inhaling as you looked at all of them.

"Holy crap." You muttered.

“I’m home!” Elias announced a few hours later, walking into the house. He found it strange that Luna, your dog, didn’t immediately run up and greet him. He followed the sound of the TV into the living room, where he found you fast asleep, and Luna curled up around you.

He smiled, turned off the TV, and draped a blanket over you, but not before kissing you on the head. He made his way into the bathroom to take a shower. He was waiting for the water to warm up a little when he spotted something sticking out of the trashcan.

He pulled it out of the trash and his eyes widened. He dug deeper into the trash, not even caring that he was digging into the trash, and looked at all of the tests in front of him, "Holy..." He covered his mouth in shock before he ran as fast as he could to the living room.

He dropped them on the coffee table then shook you awake, "Y/N." He called out, continuing to shake you before you turned around.

"What?!" You snapped, turning around, about to snap at him again, but you stopped when you noticed the tests sitting on the table, "Oh..." You looked back up at Elias, who was looking to you for confirmation, "Surprise." You gave him a nervous smile.

"Really?" He broke out into a smile, and when you nodded, he jumped onto the couch with you and wrapped you in his arms. You hugged him tighter, kissing his cheek as he pulled away, "Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He frantically asked, cupping your face and then looking down at your stomach.

"No, I'm okay." You smiled at his sudden panic, but stopped and thought about it, "Actually..."

"Anything." He stated before you could finish.

"Anything?" He nodded, "That's a lot of responsibility, Mr. Pettersson." You joked.

"I can do it." He nodded.

"If you say so." You shrugged, before listing off the things you wanted at that very moment, which he grabbed from the kitchen with no hesitation.

Because your plan to surprise Elias was spoiled, you changed your appointment to a day when Elias would actually be home. When that day finally came, Elias woke up before you and made breakfast big enough to feed a small family.

While you ate, you pointed off to different dishes you didn't want and he gave them to your next-door neighbors, who were thrilled and excited by the Swedish dishes Elias had made.

When it was finally time to drive to the doctor's, he was bouncing off the walls of the car, barely able to contain his excitement, "I really can't go in with you?" He frowned as you slipped your bag onto your shoulder.

"I'm sorry." You pouted, "But I'll ask if I can FaceTime you." You promised.

"Okay." He perked up a little at that, "I love you. Say 'hi' to the baby for me." You smiled, leaning over to kiss him.

"I will." You gave him a salute then were on your way in. You waited anxiously, texting Elias the entire time while you waited.

"Pettersson." You stood up, dropping the magazine sitting in your lap and garnering a few looks from the other people sitting in the waiting room.

"That's me." You announced. The nurse offered you a warm smile and nodded, gesturing for you to follow her. She led you into an empty room and instructed for you to sit down.

"Is this your first time?" She asked, typing a few things into the computer.

"Is it that obvious?" You laughed nervously.

"It's okay." She gave you a smile that let you know she knew what she was doing. After she asked her questions, she quickly took some tests and rushed them off to test. And that left you by yourself in the complete quiet. And in that time, everything started to sink in.

You were pregnant.

You didn't know how much time had passed, you were so stuck in your own little world, but someone knocked on the door, and that shook you from your thoughts. A woman you presumed was a doctor popped her head in and gave you a smile.

"I'm Dr. Rowe, it's nice to meet you." She reached out and shook your hand before she made her way over to the small sink, "Y/N, right?"

"Yes." You nodded. She snapped on a pair of gloves and then sat in the chair next to the big bed-table thing next to you.

"So, we got your results back, and congrats, Mrs. Pettersson, you are pregnant." She told you. You let out a breath you hadn't known you were holding and a choked laugh, "Now, I know this is a little overwhelming, so if you need a minute..."

"I'm good." You shook your head, "I'm ready."

"All right, well, I'm going to walk you through what I'm going to do then do it, is that okay?" She smiled when you nodded again.

True to her word, she walked you through what she was going to do, step by step. She then grabbed all the tools she would need and helped you lie down.

"Can I call my husband? Would that be okay?" You asked.

"Of course." She nodded. You whipped out your phone and immediately dialed Elias' number.

"Is it time?" He asked, picking up before the first ring was over. You and Dr. Rowe laughed.

"Yes." You nodded, flipping the camera around as she squirted jelly onto your stomach.

"All right, let's find a baby." She moved the wand around your stomach. Both you and Elias watched in fascination as she moved the wand and a little blob showed up on the screen.

"Is that-?"

"Your baby." She nodded. Neither you nor Elias could say anything as you stared at the screen in pure awe, "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" You felt yourself nod and heard Elias say 'yes' immediately again.

She pressed a button on the machine and you were in awe all over again, "Elias..." Was all you managed to say through the tears. A silence enveloped the room, the only thing filling it was the heartbeat of your baby, a sound you had decided was your new favorite.

"Would you like some pictures?" Dr. Rowe asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes, please." You nodded.

You walked out of the doctor's office 10 minutes later, sonogram in hand. You made it back to the car and looked at Elias, "It's real."

"We're actually having a baby." He tearfully smiled.

After your appointment, all Elias could talk about was seeing your little baby in a little Pettersson jersey and how cute it would be, so before he came back, you decided to make part of his dream come true.

When Elias finally did have to leave for the little stint of away games, you decided that would be the perfect time to enact your plan. You went to the team store and got a little baby jersey customized, almost crying in your car when you pulled the jersey out of the bag and finally got a look at it.

As soon as you got home, you wrapped the jersey with your nicest wrapping paper, slapped the prettiest bow you owned on it, and began the countdown until Elias would be home.

He wouldn't be home for a few more days, and when he came home, you heard him before you saw him. He came through the door, looking disheveled.

"I'm home." He hummed, dropping his stuff where he stood and making his way over to you quickly, "Did I miss anything? Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He spoke frantically.

"Okay, you need to breathe." You laughed, "I'm fine. We're both fine." You reassured him, "Why don't you get changed and come back out here? I have something for you."

"This feels backwards. I should be bringing you gifts." He laughed.

"Just go." You pushed him towards the bedroom. You waited patiently, trying to keep your excitement at bay. When he finally came back into the kitchen, he looked at the bag on the coutner confused.

"You used the pretty wrapping paper." He pointed out, eyeing the gift suspiciously, "You only use that when it's a good gift."

"Just open the gift, Elias." You told him snappily. He raised his hands in surrender but opened the gift. He froze when he caught a glimpse of the tiny jersey.

He picked up the jersey and held it up so he could look at his name sprawled on the back of it, "Y/N..."

"You talked so much about the baby wearing your jersey, so I got one made." You told him, making your way over to him, "Are you okay?" You asked, worried when you saw he was frozen in place.

"This is perfect." He said, his voice so quiet you almost didn't hear him.

"Oh, Eli." You cooed, wrapping him in a hug.

"Cakes here!" Elias shouted from the door. He shut the door with his foot and carried the cake to the kitchen where you were waiting for him.

You looked at each other nervously, not because the cake was bad, but because you were finally, after months of waiting, going to know the gender of Baby Petey, and that thought filled you with both joy and anxiety.

"You ready?" You asked. He nodded, "All right." You took a breath and set up your camera while Elias grabbed the cake cutter from one of the drawers, "Pettersson family gender reveal." You clapped in front of the camera, imitating one of the movie clappers.

Elias pulled the cake out of the box and you both inhaled sharply. He set it down and his hand hovered over the cake cutter. You grabbed his hand and together, you held the cutter.

"One, two, three." You counted down together, then cut into the cake. When you pulled the slice out, you burst into tears.

"A boy!" He cheered, dropping the cutter and wrapping you in a hug, unable to fight his own tears so you stood in your kitchen, crying tears of joy together at the thought of your unborn son.

With all the guys away on a roadie, one of the girls decided to have a little get-together at her house so you could all watch the game together.

When you knocked on the door, instead of it being the host, it was Gunner Horvat, who must've seen you through the video camera and ran to the door before anyone could stop him.

"Hi, G." You laughed, "I don't think you're supposed to open the door without an adult." He simply stared at you but raised his arms, wordlessly asking for you to pick him up, "I missed you, too, bud." You laughed when he wrapped his arms around you.

"Let her get in the door, Gun." Holly laughed, grabbing the bag in your hand so you could hold onto the child more easily. She led you to the main room where a few other girls were already.

"Surprise!" They all shouted. You gaped in shock at the scene in front of you. Instead of being a little watch party, there were baby decorations all around the living room and kitchen.

"What the heck?" You gasped, tears filling your eyes as you looked at all the other girls.

"Elias told us you were a little bummed that you couldn't have a gender reveal party, so we decided to throw you a little shower." One of the girls explained with a smile.

"This is so sweet." You smiled tearfully. They led you over and grabbed some snacks before leading you to the living room where a small mountain of presents sat, "Wow."

"We might've gone a little overboard." They all laughed. Before they started, they made sure you had everything you needed and wanted before you began.

You opened so many things you didn't even know you needed but all the other mothers told you you needed. The last present was smaller than the others but they all looked excited for you to open.

You pulled out an exact replica of your special denim jacket with 'Pettersson' on the back. Everything was the same, even down to the special patches you had put on it.

"Wow." You gaped, at a loss for words as you turned the jacket around to look at every detail.

"Do you like it?" You could hear the worry in her voice.

"I love it. It's beautiful." Your eyes filled with tears again, and they all crowded you in a big hug.

It was really late. Way too late for you to be up late. It was almost 3 in the morning, and you were awake. Why you may ask? Because the baby wouldn’t stop moving, plus she was craving food.

You knew Elias was asleep. It was evident by the loud snoring. Instead of trying to fall back asleep, you got out of bed. As soon as your feet swung over the edge of the bed, Luna was up and standing next to you.

You smiled when she trotted alongside you towards the living room. By the time you made it to your destination, you were a little tired, but the overwhelming hunger outweighed the tiredness. So, you turned on the TV, before making your way into the kitchen. You grabbed an armful of different snacks and headed back to the living room.

You settled on the couch, the dogs curling into you on each side. You got through half an episode when you heard footsteps coming down the stairs, “What are you doing up? It’s almost 3:30.” Elias rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he made his way over to you on the couch.

“I was hungry, and couldn’t sleep.” You shrugged. He gave you a tired smile and carefully sat down next to you.

“Why didn't you wake me and tell me you were hungry?”

“You looked peaceful, and I just didn’t want to wake you.” You told him.

“I wish you had told me.” He yawned, and you chucked.

“I’ll be sure to do that next time.” You nodded.

"How's baby?" He asked sleepily, leaning his head on your shoulder.

“He doesn’t know when it’s time to play and when it’s time to sleep.” You told him, looking down at your bump and rubbing it.

“And how are you?”

“I’m really tired.” You admitted, looking over at him. When you finally met his eyes, he could see how tired you really were.

He grabbed your hand and pressed a few kisses to it. He grabbed the chip bags surrounding you and took them back to the kitchen. By the time he got back, your eyes were drooping, and you were on the verge of sleep.

“Come on. Let's get you to bed." He got off the couch and helped you get up too. He placed a kiss on your head before leading you down the hallway, back towards your bedroom.

He helped you get situated back in bed, tucking you in and making sure you were comfortable. He then climbed in next to you, "Sleep well." He whispered, caressing your cheek. He made sure you were asleep before he fell asleep.

Your due date was a few days away, and both you and Elias were getting very excited. Every day, you would wake up, and waddle down the stairs where Elias was already making breakfast. You would sit at the kitchen island, and the two of you would talk about the dreams you had the previous night.

You would spend most of the day lounging around the house. Either watching TV, reading books, going for drives, organizing the house again, it was the same thing every day.

Then, after dinner, the two of you would go out for a walk with the dogs. It was really the only outside interaction you would get all day unless you went out to the backyard.

The night was no different. After dinner, you grabbed your jackets and leashed up the dogs. All throughout the day, you had stomach pain. You brushed it off all the time as stomach pain. Elias usually walked ahead because he had quicker strides, but never too far because he was protective.

You were walking in silence when a sharper pain hit you, and you let out a pained noise. That caught Elias' attention, and he whipped around, “What is it? What’s wrong?” He asked, cupping your face with one hand, while his other went down to your stomach.

“I-” Before you could finish, you felt a wave of liquid trickle down your leg, “I think I’m going into labor.” You winced. You looked at him and saw all the color drain from his face, “What are you doing?!” You hit him in the arm when he didn't move, “We gotta go.”

That snapped him out of it, “Come on, baby. Let’s get you to the hospital.” He helped you walk, well waddle, back towards the house, “Breath baby, breath.” He kept telling you and placing kisses on your temple.

“He's beautiful,” Elias whispered as he leaned down over your shoulder to look at the newborn.

“He's perfect.” You smiled at him, cradling your son closer to your chest. Leonardo Michael Pettersson was perfect in every way. When you called and told Brock that you had given Leo his middle name, he almost cried.

Elias had been nothing but supportive throughout the whole process. He waited on you hand and foot, the same way he had all throughout your pregnancy, getting you whatever you asked. He even let you curse at him, and squeeze his hand which was the least he could do.

A few hours after birth, you had fallen asleep, leaving Elias and the baby alone. Elias was sitting in the chair next to your bed without a shirt, cradling little Leo to his chest. He had read somewhere that skin-to-skin contact was good for babies, so he figured he would give it a try. He couldn’t take his eyes off of the little baby.

“We’re so happy you’re here.” He whispered. Leo couldn't understand a word he was saying, but he looked up at him with his big blue eyes. His blue eyes, “We waited so long for you, and now that you’re here, you’re gonna be so spoiled.” He pressed a kiss to his chubby cheek.

“You’re already so loved. You have aunts and uncles who are so excited to meet you.” Somewhere in between his conversation, you started to wake up, but kept your eyes closed, “And of course mommy and I are so happy you’re here.” He added.

You continued to listen to Elias talk to Leo, and it warmed your heart. You knew, from the moment you told him you were pregnant, and he started taking care of you and telling you not to lift a finger, you knew he was gonna be a great father.

And boy were you right.

5 months later, February 2022

After months of waiting, you finally got the clearance for Leo to a game, and Elias was thrilled. You slipped the little Pettersson jersey on him, a surprise Elias didn't know you had in store for him.

You bundled him up in a blanket, and even got a little beanie with the number 40 embroidered on the top of it, "Papa is so excited for tonight, and you probably won't remember anything, but it's such a big night." You whispered as you got Leo ready.

You parked yourself in front of the arena, standing alongside a few of the other girls and their kids, as you waited for the guys to skate out.

When they skated out, Elias did his usual skate around the ice, tossing a few pucks over the glass to a few fans, and shooting at the net a few times, before he finally skated around to where you were standing.

You couldn't help but smile when you saw the smile on his face. His face showed nothing but pride as he watched Leo sleep. He blew you a kiss, then blew a kiss at Leo, who blissfully continued to sleep.

He tossed a puck over and one of the guards standing in front of the ice caught it and handed it over to you, "Thank you." You smiled at the man, slipping it into the bag and gathering your stuff.

After the game, and an OT goal from Elias which he chalked up to dad strength in a post-game interview, you finally met up with him in the parking garage.

"I'm so proud of you." You wrapped him in a hug before he could get into the car, "An overtime goal." You cheered.

"I had my good luck charms with me." He beamed, kissing your head and then kissing Leo's. When he pulled away, he finally noticed the jersey and gaped, "It's the jersey."

"It felt fitting for his first game." You shrugged with a smile.

"It's perfect." He picked up Leo carefully and cradled him to his chest, kissing his head again, "I love you." He leaned down, leaning his forehead against yours.

"I love you, too." You hummed, leaning up to kiss him.

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riftdancing · 2 months

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So... It's my Birthday.

I would usually post about this on my personal blog, but I'm going to touch basis here instead since it does have some relation to my XIV blog at the end. First of all, if you've sent me a well wish for my birthday, you're amazing. Thank you. Each one of them so far has been incredibly heartwarming and while I ask nothing of anyone today... heartwarming is extra welcome because I am going through it right now.

Yesterday we took my 4 month old kitten, Ozzie, to the vet for his last set of vaccinations until next year. It went great! Little man is an absolute king. I've never seen such a brave and curious little cat. The car ride was zero stress for him. Not a single peep, just curiously watching the country side go by mid tongue bath. I've never seen a cat so blaise about a car ride. He was the same way at the vet office. Once out of his carrier and in the exam room he'd bound up to meet the staff and greet them with tail high and perked ears. In hindsight, after the experience, my partner and I have realized he'd probably make a great adventure cat, so we will likely be looking into harness and leash training very soon.

What I wasn't expecting, was returning home to find my cat (and emotional support animal) not acting like herself and showing me all the signs she'd fallen ill with something. She is my baby. My comfort, my emotional rock. The amount of emotional understanding and empathy she's shown me in the first four years of her life still astounds me more and more everyday. ...But Sootie and I are extremely co-dependent on eachother. Seeing her ill, even though we'd just returned home from the vet with Oz, we gently got her into her carrier and rushed her to the vet as well. You can imagine how shocked they were to see us again (lol).

Vet was glad I brought her in preemptively. Seems I had it exactly right. She is sick. She was running a fever of 105 when we got there. We did bloodwork (which came back squeaky clean!!) and they tried to get a urine sample, but to no avail. So they gave her a shot for her current nausea, and she's been put on liquid antibiotics. ...Antibiotics which require food and she's still not eating.

But... I don't care if its my birthday or not. I've put everything a side because she is my world. So her and I are quarentined to the bedroom together. Luckily that's her safe/comfort space, and I'm just in here to keep her company and provide additional comfort as she craves it. Currently as I write this from my mini mechanical bluetooth keyboard on my tablet... she's snuggled up in one of her favorite blankets next to me, tucked in for additional warmth.

But until she's doing a little better... I will be resigned to this set up...

So I will likely spend my Birthday cleaning out my tumblr inbox while I take care of my lil sick baby.

But after all the times she's looked after me in my worst states (like when I was sick with covid and despite trying to distance myself from her she would NOT leave me for the entire week. Like velcro. My lil nurse.) both mental and physical health... its the least I can do to make sure she's comfortable and has someone here for her the same way she's always been there for me.

When I say I would do anything for this cat. I mean it. She is the world to me.

#warm wishes very welcome today #I am tired and stressed #worried about my sweet baby

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sonicasura · 28 days

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In the TFA X Poppy Playtime AU, which sounds more likely?

A young Issac Sumdac was once an eager employee working at Pkaytime as one of its intern engineers. The Boogie Bot being one of his first creations. He was shocked though when he saw versions of the toy mascots being produced that appeared more animated given his team never developed that sort of A.I yet. Only to later find out the terrible truth, that to by pass the technology needed to make the toys more alive they simply stuffed the brains and bodies of people, children, into them. He avoided the Hour of Joy and once a millionaire with his own tech company he bought the building and attempted to tear it down. Only to for his men and machinery to go missing, proving how dangerous the place was. And how destroying it could just lead to the feral toys escaping. But is forced to go there hearing Meltdown went in and tries to right his mistakes of the past.

Or maybe Fanzone was an ex-employee who was a warehouse worker or even a junior security guard for the company trying to pay is way through the police academy. He never finds out the truth of the toys but figured they were a type of robot. He was there in the "Hour of Joy" and saw the horrors as the once friendly mascots went savage and killed his coworkers. He was able to escape along with leading a few others to safety...but not everyone. Which haunts him to the present day. And which leads to his hatred of machines, because he still believed that the toys were machine operated and it was a malfunction that led to their aggressive behavior. He wanted to return to the factory to help save more people the place was shutdown and quarentined by the factory owners. Stating it wasnt safe, something that didnt sit well with him even after years later. But when he receives the letter stating that the employees were "still there" he sees it as hope of finally being able to save those people and get to the bottom of that days tragedy. Only to find out the terrible truth.

I say the last scenario will not only be the most likely but have a bigger impact. We tend to not get much interactions when it comes to Fanzone especially on why he hates machines with a passion. I would add Isaac donating a few inventions to Playtime Co, the Build A Toy in particular, since it would be around the time he's trying to make a name for himself.

Sumdac does research after Fanzone manages to escape the Hour of Joy and notices some huge scandals that waved huge red flags. Yet neither could investigate so the mystery was left alone. That is until Fanzone heads back to the factory and Isaac asking the bots to help.

#sonicasura #sonicasura answers #asks #cf8wrk4u us #maccadam #transformers #transformers series #transformers animated #tf #tf series #tfa #isaac sumdac #carmine fanzone #captain fanzone #poppy playtime #project playtime #ppt

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totiredtowrite · 4 months

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hi gang

so ive been gone for a WHILE (like maybe close to a year now) and i'm here to inform you that i didn't drop this cold turkey

(except i did)

So I'm a big writer and I love making self insert stuff because I'm a lonely FtM dude so why would I not? Unfortunately, I've sort of left my hq/anime writing spell. I started this acc during quarentine cause I was bored and it REALLY grew, but I'm a little bit older now, (not by much), and a little bit different.

Anyway my point is that I'm gonna orphan this blog and start a new obe that focuses on writing drabbles and other stuff, and less anime centered/show centered things. I'm posting this to let you guys know that I'm keeping this blog active so you can still read posts, but I'm not gonna write here anymore. I'm gonna be active in the next couple of weeks while I get stuff sorted out, so asks are open for things but less for writing.

love you guys :3

EDIT: Dropping it cold turkey again lol. I'm gonna focus on writing for myself for a little while. I will post the things that look good. Love yall, see you in another few months :)

#male reader #haikyuu x male reader #x male reader #writing #male reader insert #trans writing #oc x male reader #...miscellaneous

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kusuokisser · 7 months

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oomf reblogged a bunch of aro stuff and in honor of pride hour (i made it the fuck up Dont ask me any questions i dont talk to paparazzi) i want to talk about MYYY experience being arospec because it is Isolating and even if this reaches literally no one id rather at least have tried to share my feelings. Spreading love! 💝

growing up i very quickly realized that i wasnt getting crushes like the other kids were. as early as second grade i started trying to force myself to like the boys in my class. id, like, look around the classroom at the start of every new school year and look for the next boy to have a "crush" on. It sounds kind of funny looking back but like i remember how desperate i felt doing it. i remember one year i genuinely hated every boy in my class with a burning passion and, if nothing else, i remember the feeling of being wrong. i, a 4th (maybe 3rd?) grader, felt isolated and gross because i couldnt force a crush for a year.

i had known none of the other ones were really crushes, but it wasnt the romance i wanted it was the connections. i wanted to be able to join the girls talking about their crushes and i wanted to have a reason to try talking to boys; i wanted to be liked.

in 6th grade i think was the first time i didnt try to force a crush. i dont remember much from that year but i know that i didnt feel good. youd think that, as an arospec, i would have enjoyed the break from faking romance but at that point i didnt understand that my feelings werent quite real. i knew they werent like everyone elses, but i really wanted them to be even if it meant lying a bit to myself on the way. i felt wrong and weird.

in seventh grade that was when covid hit and everyone was quarentined, and also that is the year that holds my worlds most obvious example of my aromanticism ever. genuinely think back to this and go "how didnt i figure it out sooner"

i convinced myself i had a crush on my at-the-time best friend. there was no crush by the way, i judt knew i liked him more than all my other friends and to my socially deprived brain that meant it had to be romantic right? well he didnt like me back and literally i went, watched like two YouTube videos on something or other, and was over it. because the feelings were never genuine. it was never love it was a desire to be close with someone

8th grade was the first time i actually fell in love. by then i had figured out im a lesbian, and i met this girl named Jane. She was literally everything you could want in a girl and i fell HARRDDDDDDD i was so in love dont even. but I found that my capacity to love her fluxuated. the love was always there, but some days it was more platonic than anything. sometimes thr platonic periods would stretch for weeks. sometimes it would switch between platonic and romantic multiple times a day. it confused me and honestly? it scared me a lot. i distanced myself from her and eventually we broke up (for seperate reasons but this def contributed)

that really messed with me because now i was left with two understandings: i can definitely experience romantic attraction, and the romantic attraction can change at the drop of a hat.

after a lott of time and research i finally realized and accepted that im aromanticflux (will go into detail if necessary) and you know what? it didn't make me feel better. if anything it made me feel worse; i felt like such an asshole for getting in a relationship if it was always going to end.

now i am. Still coming to terms with my identity but i am learning to love and be kind to myself. the point of this whole thing is. youre never alone. there are eight billion people on earth, at least one of them is going through the exact same thing as you right now. you are not any less of a person because of your attraction or lack thereof

#Mimi gets serious wtfff #gross never do it again #faun talks about something other than saiki???#aromantic #aroace #aromantism #arospec #Umm how do you even tag this #If it finds you it finds you. Love yourself ☺️💝

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disorganizedkitten · 3 months

Text

Do you ever think about Gavriel and Aidan?

Do you think that when Elizabet left Aidan in that room, she left him Cold because she was hungry? I don't

48 people died in the farmhouse. Elizabet and her crew didn't need to drink from Aidan too.

"‘Is it still you in there?’ she’d asked me, tapping her knuckles against my head, before she went to ground in the basement. ‘Do you remember all the good times we had?’"

Do you think that she saw her friend out of his mind from torture and she left Aidan as a taunt? I do. I think Aidan was a test.

Do you think Gavriel ever thought about Making another vampire? Do you think he thought it worth it, when he spent decades following behind other vampires and killing their accidental turns? Do you think it wore on him? Gavriel, who hunted in alleyways for criminals? Gavriel, who killed his brother for honor and hated himself for it? Do you think it was fun, hunting down people who didn't know what was wrong with them, who didn't, couldn't understand why their deaths were required?

Do you think it wore on him, when Caspar Morales was the vampire in front of him, when Morales convinced Gavriel to let him live?

Do you think it hurt, knowing that Lucien did it on purpose, that he wanted Gavriel to relive killing Aleksander with every mission?

Do you think Elizabet was in on it, even then?

Do you think she wanted Gavriel to win, when she was bringing him home?

"You were my friend once, my brother - are you still?"

Elizabet left Gavriel with Aidan, with a Cold teenager, half turned and growing hungry.

Do you think that was a taunt? A test? Tell me, brother, is your mercy worth it? Have you learned better? Or is your soul still heavy?

Do you think he cared, then, starved and harmed and recovering, drunk on dreams of vengeance?

Why bite Aidan? Why not leave him human?

Why give Gavriel a human when he's used to hunting Cold?

I think it was. I think Elizabet wanted to know. I think Aidan was Cold because Gavriel was used to killing people who were infected or freshly turned.

Do you think Gavriel planned to keep Aidan alive? To become his maker, to give Aidan more of a proper turning than anyone has had in a decade?

Or was that Tana's fault?

Do you think Gavriel wondered about it on the way to Coldtown? Do you think he cared?

I think he didn't. I think he cared for Tana because she cared for him, but he couldn't care for Aidan because Aidan was more prey to Gavriel than all the teens in the farmhouse had been.

Do you think Gavriel thinks about it later? When Tana goes cold, it's clear that he wants her to have a proper turning. "You'll be marvelous. He says, and he means it as fact.

Do you think they talk, during Tana's Quarentine? Do you think it ever comes up? Do you think the fleeting fondness Gavriel admitted about both of the teens ever grows into genuine care?

#the coldest girl in coldtown #Gavriel #Gavriel Thorn of Istra #Aidan Marinos #Tana Bach #Elizabet #Jaymeow Speaks #I'm not normal about them

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cinemastyles-blog · 1 year

Text

Next Room Over

Summary: this is an anonymous request - “what about quarantine harry and y/n? they’re strangers and somehow end up quarantining together then having sex with each other.”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, strangers, unprotected sex

Master

QUARENTINE/MUSTACHE HARRY

“Hi, checking in?” The last behind the desk asks, I can’t really tell if she is smiling or not, these masks really block out everything.

I nod, “Yes for y/n y/l/n.”

“Okay. You do understand that we require a five day quarantine, correct?”

I shake my head, “Oh, really? I must have missed that when I booked. That’s fine.”

She nods, “Okay. Give me one moment.”

I look around, everyone has their masks on, following the correct protocol, six feet apart, tapping elbows instead of shaking hands.

Life right now is so weird.

“Okay. You’re all set. Room 342. Just head up there and also, we are going to put a sign on your door that says you are in quarantine, just to let housekeeping know.”

“Okay. Thank you.” I head up to my room and notice there is a a sign in the door next to mine and the initials, H.S. beside the word quarantine.”

“Hmm.” I shrug and open my door, walking in to set my stuff down. I shut and lock the door and look around at my home for the next five days.

As I’m unpacking and getting settled, I hear the strumming of a guitar and light humming. I walk around slowly, trying to figure out where it’s coming from.

I walk over to a door in the middle of the wall and press my ear against it. I smile slightly and listen to the gentle sound coming from the other side.

The humming turns into words, “Thought that we could hide away, in the corner of the heath..” he begins humming again and I step back.

I go over to grab my phone and turn on some quiet music, at least I thought it was quiet.

There’s a knock on the door and I turn slightly, “Which door did that come from?” I ask myself out loud.

“The one on the wall.”

I laugh slightly and grab my mask off the table, hooking it around my ears before I open the door, “Hello?”

A tall man in a black hoodie with a claw clip in his hair is standing there and I can tell he’s smiling, “Hi.”

I smile and nod, “I’m, um, y/n.” I go to hold my hand out but quickly drop it, “Ah, right.”

“I mean, I tested negative, so if it’s alright with you.” He holds his hand out. I smile, “Yeah, I tested negative too.” I grab his hand and wow, his hands are soft.

“So you play guitar?” I ask leaning around him to look into his room, “You have a beautiful voice by the way.”

He smiles and chuckles, “Yes, I do. Thank you. Im actually working on a whole new album.”

“Album?” I question, “Wow, what’s it called?”

He shrugs, “I haven’t really, okay. Im thinking of calling it something like Harry’s House, maybe? Im not sure,”

Harry. Harry. Harry.

“Is your last name Styles, by chance?”

He nods, “Yeeaahh.”

I nod, “Oh wow, I mean, don’t take this wrong but I did not recognize you at first.”

“That’s a compliment, honestly. I’m glad you didn’t. If you opened the door and went completely insane I would have went to a different hotel.”

“I work so much, so I don’t really have time to sit down and read all the gossip, not that you’re go-“

“No, I get it. I mean, you’re not wrong. I hate the media. It’s a bunch of click bait lies that people run with.” He rolls his eyes, “I actually knocked because I heard you were listening to The Chain and I just wanted to tell you that you have a great choice in music.”

I smile, “Thank you. I’ve listened to a few of your songs too, from your first album I think? I’m not sure. They’re pretty good.”

He smiles and tilts his head, “Thanks.” He looks down and chuckles, “So, would you like to come over, I mean, totally up to you, and the six feet regulation and all-“

“I would love to.” I smile and walk over, grabbing my phone, “Do you want me to-“

“Please. I’d like to see what else you have in there.”

I smile and walk past him into his room, not much different than mine.

“Your guitar is beautiful.” I look from the instrument to him and he nods, “Thank you.”

“Do you care if I-“ I point to my mask and he shakes his head, “No go ahead do you mind if I do the same?”

I take mine off and take a deep breathe, “Please do. I hate those things.” I lay it on the table and turn to look at him.

A smile plays with my lips when I see the rest of his face. He’s much more beautiful in person.

“You’re beautiful.” Harry smiles and looks down, “I-um. S-sorry.” He chuckles nervously and shakes his head.

“No, I was actually thinking the same thing.” I laugh slightly and cover my face, “Gosh, I’m so awkward, I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, “No, no. You’re fine.”

He walks over to me and looks down at me, “I have to admit though, I have this strong urge to kiss you.”

His words make my stomach do a whole 360.

“I’m okay with that.” I nod and smile.

He smiles and his eyes move from my lips to my eyes, “Okay.” He whispers before leaning down, his lips gently press onto mine and I swear to god I heard fireworks.

He pulls back an inch and pauses for a split second before crashing his lips back onto mine, getting out lips to move in perfect sync. I lay my hands on his neck, moaning slightly into his mouth.

“Is this okay?” He asks slightly out of breathe.

“Yes.”

He nods once and brings his lips back to mine, walking me backwards so we can lay on the bed.

There isn’t much talking, just him asking if it’s okay if he does anything and me saying yes each time.

Our clothes quickly come off and he admires my body below his, “You are gorgeous.” I can feel my cheeks warm and I smile and shrug.

He smiles and leans down, kissing my neck. I tilt my head back and slide my hands across his back and down his arms, “Please.” I whisper lowly, “I want to feel you.”

A groan escapes his lips and he nods, “I don’t hav-“

“It’s okay.”

He nods and licks the tips of his fingers before pressing them to my already soaked center. I gasp and spread my legs wider, “Harry.”

He leans down and takes a nipple between his lips, flicking it with his tongue as he slowly pushes his fingers in and pulls them out of me, curling them each time.

I arch my back and my hands go to his head, tangling his hair around my fingers, “Fuck.”

He moves over to my other nipple and slides his fingers out and moves them to my clit. Let out a moan and tug his hair. He moans against me and gently bites down.

I moan louder and move my hips slightly, whining out his name.

“You need me?”

I nod, “So bad.”

He smirks and slides his hands up my body. He reaches down to stroke his cock a few times before rubbing it against my slit. I bite my lip and my eyes roll back as he pushes into me.

“Fuck that- was so hot.” Harry groans and leans down to kiss my neck, biting the skin below my ear. I wrap an arm around his neck and arch my back, my chest pressing against his as he starts to thrust.

It’s slow at first, but I need more, “Harder. Please.” I ask kind of shy. He smirks and nods, “Okay.”

He pushes my legs up out and back, placing them on his shoulders. His hands are on either side of my head and I grab the pillows with my hands, and let out a scream. Harry is pounding into me roughly and it feels so fucking good.

I open my eyes and look up at him, his hair is hanging down in front of his face and his bottom lip is sucked between his teeth.

His eyes flutter closed and a moan leaves his now parted lips, “Fuck, y/n.”

Him moaning my name sends waves of pleasure through me, “H-Harry.” I whisper out as I clench around him, “I-I.” I can’t even finish my statement before I throw my head back and cum around his cock.

He continues thrusting, fucking me through my high, “That’s it.” He moans, “That’s it.”

I moan loudly and dig my fingertips into his biceps. He watches me, watches my boobs bounce up with each time his his hips slam against me.

“Fuck you’re so hot, I-I-“ he groans and pulls out, his cum landing on my stomach.

He gently sets my legs down, “Hold tight. I’ll be right back.”

I nod and get my breathing under control as he walks into the bathroom. I stare up at the ceiling, smiling to myself.

“Here.”

I go to take the towel but Harry goes and wipes me off, “If you want to, you can shower and what not. Or you can-“

“Shower with me.”

He smiles and runs a hand through his hair, “Okay.”

Harry and I get in the shower, neither of us ready for round two, so we just kiss, laugh and sing together to the songs that my phone are still playing.

——

“Can I play you some stuff that I have written down?” Harry asks as he ties his robe shut.

I smile and nod, “Please.”

——

I know this ismy as detailed and not very long at all, but I wanted to get something out because I’ve been mia on the smut lately.

I will write a very detailed part 2 to this I promise!!

Tag list: @daddybuckethat @hsonlyangelxo @harrysluvv @tbsloneely @haroldsbabymama @victoria-styles

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4uru · 11 months

Text

Do y'all have a song that tastes like the times you were obsessed with it?

Watch "Patroclus (original song)" on YouTube

youtube

I remember THE OCTOBER OF 2020, having multiple mental breakdowns in a day, sleep deprived, having to finish Ten 100 marks assignments within 20 days, and listening to "THE SONG OF ACHILLES" as i did the assignments

and on the day of submission, i was finished with the last of the assignments at midnight, i had to submit all 10 in 11am. I finally picked up a paint brush in two weeks and painted.

at 4:00am i finished the audiobook "The song of Achilles" read by Jenny Juniper. I was sobbing, trying to muffle my cries so my mother doesnt wake up, i borrowed myself into the blanket and cried till i fell asleep.

After a week i found out all those assignments, those sleepless nights, those hand cramps, those faint spell, panic attacks, mental breakdowns were for nothing. The government issued new assignments, 2 subjects per week. The cycle was looser this time. But all my hard work was down the drain.

I listened to this song over and over and over again. Until i memorized it, i would sing this song walking through my empty corridor, in my empty house, in the middle of quarentine with no friends to even ask me if i was alive.

This song tastes like the October chill, the blanket, the allnighters, mental breakdowns. After maybe 2 or 3 years, this song pooped up again in my yt page. Almost ugly cried again.

#the song of achilles #patroclus #achilles #patrochilles #Youtube

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ultimatelyunassuming · 1 year

Text

"Did you find the meme yet?" Karkat lazily asks, a arm wrapped around your chest as he absentmindedly watches the tv.

"Be patient man," you respond, leaning against Karkat's body, "This shit takes time."

"You've been looking on discord for ten minutes. Ten! It shouldn't take this long to find one shitty meme."

"I'm leafing through 6 years of dms between us, it's gonna take this long to find one shitty meme sent, like, a million years ago."

He grumbles something incoherent and vaguely antagonistic as he rests his head on your shoulder. You think he said something about how this meme better be good. "Awww, I love you too," You coo. You can feel how hard Karkat is rolling his eyes. You smile and turn your attention back to your phone. You scroll absentmindedly through thinly veiled threats between the two of you sent years and years ago, keeping an eye out for a deep fried Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff gif you sent him during middle school to try and get him to blow up at you. Your eyes practically glaze over as you grow bored of looking. After another minute of searching, you almost deem this mission a failure, until...

carcinoGeneticist: HEY THERE ASSHOLE, I DOWNLOADED YOUR SHITTY, HIPSTER, GAMER MESSAGING APP, CAN WE FINALLY WORK ON OUR PROJECT?????

Oh my god. You found Karkat's first message to you.

turntechGodhead: yea sure

carcinoGeneticist: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY WE CAN'T JUST TEXT EACH OTHER LIKE NORMAL FUCKING PROJECT MEMBERS.

carcinoGeneticist: EVERYONE ELSE IS NEARLY DONE WITH THEIR POSTER BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T PETULANT CRYBABIES THAT THREW A TANTRUM AT THE MERE THOUGHT OF COMMUNING WITH SOMEONE EVEN SLIGHTLY OUTSIDE OF THEIR SOCIAL CIRCLE.

turntechGodhead: hey i dont throw tantrums

turntechGodhead: if anyone would be throwing a tamper tantrum itd be you

turntechGodhead: and besides i dont keep cringe people in my contacts

turntechGodhead: if i did theyd starting infecting all other contacts

turntechGodhead: its a real fucking issue

turntechGodhead: so i have to quarentine all the dipshits to here

turntechGodhead: thanks for understanding

You make a face, both in nostalgia and second hand embarrassment. Jesus, you were a fucking tool. 'I don't keep cringe people in my contacts', look who's talking, Mr. I-made-my-entire-personality-out-of-liking-Leafy-and-Sjw-Cringe-compilations. Damn, he'd have a fit if he found out you're dating Karkat.

carcinoGeneticist: LET ME GUESS, THE ONLY PEOPLE IN YOUR CONTACTS ARE JUNE, ROSE, JADE, TEREZI, AND YOUR "COOL AND AWESOME BRO".

turntechGodhead: damn right

turntechGodhead: whats with the caps lock

carcinoGeneticist: MY CAPS LOCK IS BROKEN.

turntechGodhead: cool

turntechGodhead: now tell me what i gotta do im a busy man i dont have time to sit around and wait for shit to get finished

carcinoGeneticist: YOU'RE JOKING.

carcinoGeneticist: TELL ME YOU'RE JOKING.

turntechGodhead: nope

carcinoGeneticist: YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT OUR PROJECT IS ABOUT?

turntechGodhead: no

carcinoGeneticist: YOU'RE KIDDING ME?????

carcinoGeneticist: OUT OF EVERYONE IN CLASS, I WAS GIVEN THE MOST BRAIN DEAD EXCUSE OF A STUDENT TO BE FORCED TO WORK WITH.

carcinoGeneticist: WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING WHILE MR. VAGABOND WAS ASSIGNING PARTNERS?

turntechGodhead: sexting your mom

Heh. Your mom joke. You'd bet good money that you stole that joke from Terezi. Speaking of which, you've been meaning to message Terezi about hanging out. Maybe you can organize a double date with her and her partner. That'd be fun.

You glance up from your phone and notice Karkat's eyes on you. "Did you find it?"

"Find what?"

Karkat gives you a look. "The meme?"

Oh. You shake your head.

Karkat groans. "You're kidding me?? Seriously?"

"In my defense, I got distracted."

"With what?" You show him your phone, and you see his face morph from a mildly annoyed scowl to a mortified open jaw."Oh my god. Is that....?"

"Yep."

Karkat groans, covering his face. "Fucking christ, don't remind me of my middle school self."

"What, what's wrong?" You say, a sly smirk on your face. "You don't wanna read the moment that I fell heads over heels in love with you?"

"Shut the hell up, we both know that's not true. It's just that..... Gah!!!!" He waves his hands wildly. "Look at him! You're reading his words, he's such a fucking douche! He thought that he was such hot shit, and that he was so high and mighty, so above everything that he would rather sabotage his grade than work with someone he hates, he's so infuriating! I wish I could kill him."

"Aw, come on, don't be that hard on yourself. Here, look, I was a douche as well. Do you see this line right here? 'I don't want cringe people on my contacts', I was on my own high horse right alongside you."

"You were on that high horse because I was. I was a dick to you, and you were being a dick to me right back."

"A mutual dickening."

Karkat makes a face. "Don't call it that."

"Why? Is it because a mutual dickening happened between us last night?"

Karkat rolls his eyes and you start snickering to yourself. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. You know it's true."

"It's not, but whatever you say babe."

"It is, you're just biased because you're my boyfriend."

"Untrue, but it's not important."

"No it is, I'm right."

"No, it isn't."

"It is."

"No it isn't."

"Is."

"Isn't."

"Yes, it is! Here, give me that." Karkat reaches for your phone.

You move it away. "What, no, fuck off, don't touch my phone."

He stretches his arm out, fingers grazing your phone. "Screw you, I need it to prove my point."

"Just use your own." You hold it away, using the back of the sofa to support you.

"It took you 13 minutes to get there, I'm not going to do that!"

"Sucks to suck then, you're not getting my phone."

The two of you tussle for a bit, your phone waving wildly in your grasp as you wiggle your hand away from Karkat. After a minute of shuffling around, Karkat gets a solid grasp on the device and yanks it out of your hand. "Aha!"

"Give that back!"

"No, and I'm going to prove that I was a bigger dick." He starts frantically scrolling through his and yours dm, craning his body away from yours as you clammor over him to retrieve your phone. "See, look at this shit! 'Stop hanging out with Terezi, you know she's my girlfriend. Stop trying to steal her away from me, she loves me not you.' I was jealous of you and Terezi, and I wanted you to fuck off! I should've just said that instead of trying to control Terezi's friendships!"

"You're skipping over my lines! Look at that message, 'If she really was your girl why is she making all over me?'. I shouldn't have used your insecurity over your relationship to belittle you. Clearly I was the worst."

"And what about this? 'No wonder you have no friends, you're just a reject making up for your lack of social skills through acting like a Leafy reject,' ."

"Read below that. 'At least I don't have a savior complex with all of my friends and pretends that all of my quote friends unquote like each other,' . I typed out quote unquote! Who does that?"

"I called you a disappointment to your family!"

"I was homophobic to you!"

"Yeah, and look where that fucking led you!"

"The fact that I'm bisexual and that I'm dating you doesn't mean that I couldn't have been homophobic!"

"At least you have an excuse! I just didn't like you!"

"Well, you like me now, so it doesn't matter! So that means I was the worse one!"

"That's not how that works!"

"Then how does it work?!"

Karkat opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. He blinks. ".... How does this work?"

"That's obvious. It works like....... It works..... It.......... Hm."

"Yeah, exactly! How the fuck are we quantifying 'being the worst in middle school'?"

"........ Being the bigger douche?"

"Dave, you can't quantify 'being a bigger douche'. What are the parameters, at what age do we stop our assessment, do we measure this based off of what we said to each other or to others, we need to go over shit like that."

"oh." You've just decided that the whole process Karkat laid out seems like way too much work for something like this. "Do we have to do it right now? I kinda don't want to do that."

"We don't have to if you don't want to, I'm just saying that if we did, we'd have to make some ground rules."

"Cool." You point to your phone. "Can I have that back now?" He hands it back. "Thank you."

"No problem." Karkat settles back onto the couch. "Now sit down, we got 27 Dresses to finish."

You nod and sit next to Karkat, assuming the position you had earlier. You glance at your phone, intending on turning it off, but something caught your eye. "Hey look, it's the meme!"

"The meme?"

"Yeah, the meme from earlier. The one about Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff that I sent you? Look at it." You hand your phone over to Karkat.

"...... This is not worth the 13 minute wait."

"Technically it was 17 minutes."

"Whatever you say, love."

#[uu] is online #ficlet #not really the stereotypical 'davekat' dynamic but i had fun writing this

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