#queer angst

[adult-trash-lord]

So I finally watched Good Omens. Didn't know I signed up for more fandom hell.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #send help #queer angst

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

I CAN'T, I CAN'T, NO, NO, NOT AGAIN!

Aziraphale just sacrificed his own happiness, left the love of his life and went to a place he doesn't like in order to try to fix something that is broken

And now Loki sacrificed his own happiness, left his friends and love of his life and took a throne he never actually wanted to fix something that is broken.

NOT AGAIN, NOT A SECOND TIME IN ONE YEAR, I CAN'T DO THIS

#loki #loki spoilers #lokius #loki 2 #loki season 2 spoilers #loki series 2 spoilers #loki series 2 #mobius #mobius m mobius #queer angst #we do not get a break #loki turned into my comfort show and now I need a new comfort show for my comfort show #the 5 stages of grief round 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens spoilers #mcu loki #loki mcu #loki x mobius #mobius x loki #my post

[indigosabyss]

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week!!

I'm doing three fics and maybe a podfic if i manage to clear my throat up before the end of the week.

First is A(r)ro(w) Force: A Gwen Poole and Nadia Van Dyne teamup on the WCA reality show. Deals with the worries of being on the aromantic spectrum, and trying to understand what subcategory you fit in. I've already posted that.

Next will be the second chapter of You're Ten Billion Percent Not Alone: A Dr. Stone QPR SenGen fic. Main themes of aro community and the joy that comes with it. I will post it some time this week.

Last is going to be We're All Aro Here, A Bloom Into You fic of Doujima realizing that the entire student council except him is somewhat arospec. It's about aro acceptance, from the angle of people who know nothing about the proper terminology and understand what they're feeling. I haven't posted it yet, but will update with the link. Might write bits of this live on my twitch, if you're interested.

Here's the link to my youtube channel in case I do post my podfic for You've Got A Face For Radio, an aroace alastor character study on ao3 by ckret2.

#aromantic #aroace #aromantic spectrum awareness week #gwen poole #gwenpool #nadia van dyne #unstoppable wasp #bloom into you #kate bishop #dcst #senku ishigami #sengen #queerplatonic #gen asagiri #hazbin hotel #koito yuu #hazbin alastor #queer pride #queer joy #queer angst #queer acceptance

[crownedwriting]

My brother is mad at me for killing his sister.

he doesn't understand that she would have killed me first. He doesn't understand that he'd have lost both of us had I not pulled the trigger first.

he told me he wants his sister back.

I told him he wouldn't have a sibling at all had she survived.

he doesn't understand that I'm still here. that we're still the same person.

we just have a different name.

we still like drawing. we still like writing. we still crack the same jokes-- it's just in a deeper voice, now.

my brother can't love his new brother the same way he loved his old sister.

a part of him will always hate me for killing her, and I understand.

I just miss him. and I know he misses me, too, just the wrong version of me.

I miss our inside jokes.

I miss knowing his favourite colour. his favourite animal. his favourite video game.

I miss knowing my brother.

siblings aren't meant to be strangers, yet here we are.

raised, loved, and laughed together,

and I don't know his favourite colour.

#in my feels tn #i miss my baby brother #trans #trans writing #transgender #ftm trans #lgbtq #lgbtq writing #my writing #writing #angst #trans angst #queer angst #creative writing #writers #writeblr #writers on tumblr

[n3wg0ryv4mp]

thibking about how getou’s body fought over kenjaku taking over his body because it was instinctual to protect gojo

#gojo satoru #getou suguru #jjk #jujustu kaisen #queer angst #angst #im sobbing

[slxxpynxrski]

Old man yaoi

#oc #original character #digital art #oc design #original characters #old man yaoi #queer angst

[scooterdoesanart]

"...ah"

——————————————

Been feeling a bit invisible or forgotten/ignored in the Queer Community.

——————————————

If you like my work, please consider buying me a coffee, Commissioning Me, or joining my Patreon

Also be sure to Check out my Tea Blog, Deviantart, and Twitter

Read My Webcomic Scoot-Speriences for Goofy Life Experiences

#comic #queer #queer angst #trans angst #transman #vent art #okay to reblog #digital

[natty-tuning-in]

Hoh boy. I don't know how to tag this one man.

Side note: Tavin is (ethnically) Korean. that's why ppl are confused at his accent. this is written from his point of view and is how he feels about himself, I don't think these things abt him or anyone who is like him!! he just hates himself a LOT and this is that internal monolog almost.

Side side note I have AUs of my own OCs 💀💀 this is the main universe, canon if u will. I should start tagging AUs... the "virgin boy never came once" Alex agenda is fun but the main universe Alex isn't like that.

tw; dehumanization, hypersexuality, implied sexual assault, serious self hatred, slut-shaming, person being referred to as a thing, severe depression, he's known as the local slut that anyone can pull basically. also I use Italics WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH because it sounds good in my voice in my head, so just strain those words in your head kinda. lmk if I should tw for anything else cus I'm running on 2 hours of sleep rn

Tavin could barely even meet the man's eyes.

He knew that people fell in love with each other, and he knew that it happened for most people. But not for him. How could it? People with worth fell in love with other worthy people. From all he'd gathered, he wasn't considered worthy. Not in the slightest.

He didn't consider himself worthy, other people didn't consider him worthy. It wasn't hard to gather that he was pretty much supposed to be in bad relationships, or on his own. At least, that's what he assumed. Anyone with even an ounce of self respect didn't dare look at him with anything other than lust. He wasn't ever meant to be anything more than a casual one night thing, or maybe a little experiment for another guy to figure out his sexuality. And that was fine. He'd gotten used to it. He'd more than gotten used to it, he had just fully accepted it. This was how it should be, and him trying to actually bond with someone was just utterly embarrassing on his part.

Everyone saw it as desperation, everyone saw it as off putting. He couldn't switch up now, he was known. Once a whore, always a whore. It was his own damn fault and he accepted it. He tried his hardest to stifle all these ridiculous, absurd fantasies of his, ones where someone would tell him 'I love you', someone other than a half-stranger on top of him with a brain full of oxytocin and eyes completely lacking any genuine emotion besides lust.

He was getting tired. He was getting tired of waking up in a strange bed. He was tired of not being able to look anyone on top of him in the eye. He was tired of people dragging their nails across the areas that he hated being touched in. He was tired of every single touch leaving a bruise, a not so gentle reminder that everyone only saw him as an object and that it'd fucking stay that way and it was his own fault. He has no one else to blame but himself.

And what was worse was he couldn't tell if it would be better to quit or not. He was starved of everything a person could be starved of. The way these people touched him was cold and selfish, and he absolutely hated it, but it was still touch. And he couldn't even fucking tell if it was worse having to go without that. Touch he hated was better than nothing, especially if that was the only relationship, if it could be called that, that he could get. He couldn't decide if waking up in a stranger's bed was worse than waking up in his own. His own bed, where he'd lay for hours upon hours, rotting in his own stinking cesspit of a mind, staring at his ceiling and feeling so goddamn helpless and stuck.

This couldn't change, and he didn't know if he wanted to throw all of it away. It was his only distraction from his wretched imagination. It was like gasoline to the pain of his mind, sure. But more importantly was it cancelled itself out. One more body in his count, one more face to haunt him. One more night he was running from his thoughts. A price he was willing to pay, apparently. It was like a drug.

He was confusing to look at and that's why people were attracted to him like flies. Trying to figure out what was wrong with him, he assumed. Why are your eyes different colors? You look so young. You're so tall! You're so skinny! And his absolute least favorite: why do you sound like that? Do you have a speech impediment? You don't look Russian. He was Russian. And maybe people would know that Russian isn't a fucking look, that you dont look Russian. They'd know if they actually cared enough to get to know him. God, how long had it been since he'd had a personal conversation?

And then this guy came in.

This. Fucking. Guy.

Puppy dog eyes, auburn hair and a real zest for life. Happy all the damn time, equal parts innocent and flirty, and the most adorable combination of facial features Tavin had ever seen. And his nose, god, Tavin felt so pathetic for fawning over a damn facial feature. But it was adorable. It was slightly downturned and it complimented his downturned eyes perfectly and gave him the most gorgeous and bright smile. He was a human sunshine.

And it made Tavin sick.

He was a literal slut. People didn't even have to try anymore. All it took was for someone to look into his tired, tired eyes, swallowed by puffy dark skin, and nod to the exit. And people knew that. He'd gotten so pathetic that people knew they could get him for a night if they made eye contact. Sometimes he wondered how they could do it. He couldn't bring himself to say no. He was too tired, too self hating to ever do it. He wondered how these people could knowingly take advantage of him. And then he'd shut the thoughts up by telling himself that it didn't matter. It's what he deserved, right? He could just say no. He wasn't worth anything and he was lucky people still had the guts to touch him, right?

And here was this fella, with a good career, a good family… a good everything. He was perfect. He was happy, relatively rich, basically a virgin next to Tavin, too, and had the most adorable cat named Pumpkin. He wasn't even in Tavin's 'Worth' system. He was just… priceless. He was perfect. He deserved the absolute best. And that wasn't Tavin.

So why on earth did he insist on talking to him? Tavin couldn't understand why this man would even dare associate with some thing like him. It drove him up the wall that this guy seemed to care. He didn't know how to break it to him that he didn't deserve care. At first he was fine with their arrangement. Started as a hook up, which immediately told Tavin he was different because of how he acted.

None of his touches bruised, none of his words hurt, he left no marks on Tavin at all. And he had listened. Tavin had all but given up telling, begging, people to not touch these specific places. And they usually would because they didn't care. But this guy didn't do that. He listened. And he communicated, and the second he left Tavin's apartment, Tavin was on the floor bawling. Because he liked it. And that, of all things, made him sick to his stomach with guilt and shame. Because he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve it at all. And he felt like a pig for indulging in this affection that he felt he never should have been afforded.

And just as he was about to throw up from how disgusting he felt, he got a text. A text from that very guy that said he'd just love to meet up. In a normal context. A friendly setting. To talk and get to know each other with absolutely no sexual intentions.

A date..?

And against all his mind's screaming, he accepted. And he got to know this guy a little More.

His name was Alex, he used to be a psychologist but then he transitioned to neurology. He had two doctorates. He was fucking smart. His father was Irish, and Tavin could pick up on the Irish in his accent. It was mostly a basic jersey accent, though. He doesn't really particularly enjoy meeting new people in a romantic context. Tavin gathered he wasn't a big fan of hook ups, either. Said he'd had like, what, three max?

So why on earth did Tavin catch his eye?

Tavin eventually broke and asked him, and Alex looked at him with those damn puppy eyes, brimming with tears of concern. And he confused Tavin even further, saying he didn't see Tavin like that, that he didn't care what others thought. How could he? People must hold these opinions for a reason, right? If everyone looked down on him then there must be a reason, right?

#angst #hypersexual character #writblr #writerscommunity #writeblr #uhhhhh #touch starved #love starved #abused character #more to come #depressing shit #queer angst #mlm #sex mentioned a lot #gentle alex #tavin #gay

[birdiebats]

Went to world pride parade tonight and honestly it was kind of depressing nfnfjfjrhtujtkt like any true demonstration of queer liberation and expression has been watered down by commercialism

#pride #world pride #lgbt #vent #queer angst #pride was a riot #capitalism is sooooo great #sarcasm obviously #I should’ve stayed home and read fanfiction

[trashyfyrsteskagr]

219. fingers crossed he doesn't know cpr

[id and full text under the cut]

[id: four pictures in consecutive order, all depicting various paintings by anne magill. paintings are mostly soft greys and charcoals, all done in magill's characteristic style reminiscent of vague dreams, memories and out-of-focus photographs. superimposed on the paintings are bits of torn paper with text seemingly written on a typewriter. first picture is the painting on the journey home depicting a male standing over a body of water on a rocky shore. he's looking down at the surface, his back turned to the viewer. text split between two bits of paper reads: "face down in the water, I drifted away". second picture is the painting evening light. two people are sitting next to each other on the shore overlooking a lake or a river. the one on the left, centrally located in the picture, is a male sitting with his knees drawn to his chest. he's looking to the right at the person next to him. the person on the right is only partially visible and is looking at the water. in the distance, vague shapes and lights reflect on the surface. the writing, split between three bits of paper, reads: "from your considerate fingertips, from your courteously averted gaze, from your concerned tone of voice". third picture is the painting sea breeze. it depicts a man standing on a rocky shore, looking out at the sea. he's wearing a knee-length coat and keeps his hands in the pockets. sunlight reflects off the waves. there is only one piece of paper visible, with only one word on it: "love,". last picture is the painting menhir. it depicts a dark silhouette of a man standing with his back turned to the viewer. his head is down and his shoulders are slightly hunched. he's taking up most of the space; aside from him, only dark sky and vague dark horizon line is visible. the writing on a long, centrally located bit of paper reads: "I hope your kindness won't find me here". /end id]

full text:

face down in the water, I drifted away from your considerate fingertips, from your courteously averted gaze, from your concerned tone of voice

love, I hope your kindness won't find me here

all paintings used (on the journey home, evening light, sea breeze, menhir) belong to the unparalleled anne magill whom I've been a fan of since I was a wee lil guy able to google "art that makes me hurt". check out more of her works and exhibitions here -> https://annemagill.com/

#lgbtq #queer poets on tumblr #queer angst #queer poetry #anne magill #mlm #mental health #tw death #vague cw #melancholy #nostalgia #poets on tumblr #writers on tumblr #id under the cut #committed writings #literally just the meme according to my calculations im totally unlovable

[historyfoundme]

Rant, but queer:

So, I'm really not a fan of "coming out", the act and the concept. Liberal queer culture has romanticized coming out as the benchmark of queer identity, as the telos that every queer should strive to. At the same time, it can be dangerous, risky, uncomfortable or unnecessary. I'm tired of having to come out. As a historian, I'm also very uncomfortable how much weight is put on someone being out or labeling oneself as something from the LGBTIQA* acronym. That claim is often ahistorical or misleading. What if people used different words of identifying as queer that you simply don't recognize as such? What if sexuality or gendered practices weren't even tied to identities? What about the millions of reasons someone has not come out? What if the documents were they expressed their queerness have been erased, distorted or distroyed?

Then, what is the alternative of coming out? As a nonbinary person, I have no simple answer. It is next to impossible to be continually perceived as androgynous in the society I live in. And I need to keep telling people (aka come out) in order be visible. It's annoying. But so is being misgendered.

In the times when no concept of coming out existed, what happened? Maybe people were more fixated on what they saw instead of waiting for someone to change their preconceived notions? Maybe it was easier to signify female masculinity or androgyny through little clues, like clothes, accessories or gestures? On the other hand, I fear I wouldn't have fared well in these times. I think of Leslie Feinberg's "Transgender Warriors". There is a passage, where Feinberg has a discussion with a cis woman. It goes something like: "People who dressed up as men during history probably didn't dress up for economic reasons alone. They might have been trans masculine people. Otherwise, they wouldn't have been so believable. If you, as a woman, would dress up as a man, nobody would believe you are one." (Roughly summarized, but that's the gist.)

But that's not how it works (in my time, in my world). Not everyone be perceived as who they are based on their looks. Being able to pass is no benchmark of being queer or trans or nonbinary either. What to do? I don't know...

#trans #transmasc #nonbinary #leslie feinberg #coming out #queer angst

[toyoumyloves]

It's been over a year. I don't know how this happened, but it's been over a year since I last heard from you. I have no idea why RIGHT NOW you've decided that you need to reach out.

But I hope you're doing terribly

I hope you never reach out again

I hope you message all the time

I hope you tell me all the nonsense your kid has gotten up to after they started school

I hope your memes flood my inbox

I hope I'll get to hear your voice again

I hope I never see you again

I hope I'll get to feel how you for in my arms again

I hope you regret it

I hope you never do it again

I hope I have my friend back

I hope I feel more whole again

I hope you never leave

I hope you've missed me

I hope that you're happy

I hope that you're okay

- 💛

#heartbreak #heartbroken #broken heart #heartache #gay #queer angst #poem #sad #sad poetry #sad poem #break up #relationship #breakup #sad thoughts #breakup poem

[dontbelasagne]

the trans lesbian experience of listening to girl in red during your teens and feeling like your love has no place in the world

#trans #sapphic #queer angst #queer #queer community #trans femme eternal suffering #trans feminine #lesbian

[fecklessgreebobastard]

ingénue

i don’t know how to act, but i could be your ingénue

dykes are the new fags, buying latex button ups in waterloo

full to the baseball cap brim with swag, i just can’t feel what you need me to

they just left to pick up a bag, now the whole function is giving verbal spew

you could give me the world, but all i wanna do is crush it in my palms

like a handshake sealed tight, with none of the charm

bureaucratics, briefcases and billboards, turn the passion to a battery farm

and the place i call home, has no fire alarm

i hate the way logic hunts me down and strips me away

these days it’s either too much, or nothing to say

i am my own golem, moulded myself out of clay

store away all these fantasies, for a rainy day

when i’m all alone wearing lingerie

taught to be a good bitch, born to disobey

making ‘love’ in a soho alleyway

if i smash my own mirror, does it double the bad luck?

#digital diary #shitpost #greebo #anti diary #shitposting #original poem #queer angst #queer punk #transmasc #london

[the-lesbianest-batman]

happy pride month to me and the paper I'm writing: queer elements in moby-dick.

the book was published in 1851 and this is where two men get married. so yeah we love herman melville in this house

#pride month #pride #gay #lesbian #bisexual #queer angst #moby-dick #herman melville #queer history #queer academia

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

You know what? I don’t WANT an awkward double date. I don’t WANT buck coming out and people having the ‘I know’ reaction or the ‘is it Eddie’ reaction.

You know what I do want?

I want Buck panicking over what to wear for the date. I want Buck flopping on his bed like very teenager after their first kiss all giggly and happy and touching his lips because he kissed a boy

I want Buck smiling every time he says Tommy’s name because maybe it isn’t forever and maybe he’s not even looking for forever anymore but he’s so happy and he’s so light and being with Tommy feels good

I want Tommy to keep calling him Evan, because before Buck was Buck he was Evan and Evan deserves to be happy to be treated so softly and lovingly and Evan deserves to be free.

I want Buck to be happy. To be happy and free and queer in the way we all deserve.

#the other things are nice I guess #buddie would be nice #but honestly I don’t care anymore #I just want to see a happy queer character in media #because we don’t even fully have that with hen and Karen #their journey wasn’t an easy one #and why can’t we get queer characters who have a soft loving kind story #whatoh back at it again #evan buckley #tommy kinard #eddie diaz #911 abc #give me a giddy buck who’s nervous and unsure but so excited #give me a Buck who’s awkward but so determined to make this work and to discover more about himself #give me a Tommy who is so soft with him so gentle so kind #because don’t we all deserve that love? doesn’t Evan Buckley deserve that love? #for once I don’t want the angst for him I just want him to be Happy and Free