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#queerplatonic

If you don’t care then go ahead and scroll past. I’m gonna be talking about platonic, romantic and sexual feelings and how I’m a dumbass and dont know what the fuck is going on.

So here’s the scenario. So there’s this guy in my life. I refer to him as my best friend and my friend with benefits. That’s because my attraction towards him is all but romantic. We tried dating once a few years ago but it just didn’t feel right to either of us and we had a pretty casual fallout where the maintenance of the “romantic” relationship degraded back into platonic. We still occasionally fuck because the sexual tension that came with the “romantic” relationship never left either of us. I think deep down we both wanted to have sex with each other but the pressure to be dating while also fucking was pretty high at the time. I’d recently had a break up when we started dating too and we met under sort of high pressure circumstances. We were both also young and stupid and neither of us had really great control over our emotions (i still fucking dont lmao). Anyway, this guy has been in my life longer than my current girlfriend (and she knows we fuck. shes chill w it. she knows i gotta get my bottom energy out somehow) and we’re really close. He is absolutely my closest friend and I love him so fucking much!! When I say things like “I love you” to him its ALWAYS platonic. I’ve NEVER felt ANY sort of romantic attraction to him. Sometimes we do things that may be perceived as “romantic” by most of society but when we do things like, cuddling, quick kissing, hand holding, name calling or even fighting like we’re married it’s never actually romantic. Now real quick let’s get something clear, we both experience romantic attraction, just not towards each other. Even on occasion I’ve said things like “I fucking wish I had romantic attraction towards you” and proceed to call him a hoe. 

So here’s what I’m questioning.

I’ve heard the term “Queer Platonic” Floating around and I haven’t dug too much into it mostly because it’s a term used by the aromantic community and as a pansexual panromantic person I try not to invade other people’s terms. From my understanding however Queer Platonic is (correct me if I’m wrong) a strong platonic relationship between 2 (or more) people usually used by people in the aromantic community. I almost feel like it’s a step above best friend but a step below romantic partner. My question is, Is what I feel towards my friend queer platonic and can we use that term if neither of us are part of the aromantic community? I also want to make it clear that I’m not trying to invade the aro spaces or steal aro terms. I’m genuinely confused and these are serious questions I have.
Feel free to comment, reblog or even dm me if you wanna give some input. :)

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Fun fact: when I first experienced qp attraction to someone, it was confusing! I said I had a crush on them because there was no quantifiable way to explain it otherwise.

I had it all: butterflies, nervousness, fulfilment in time spent, I wanted to get them gifts all the time and be in an established relationship with them- something I don’t feel for my regular friendships! (Noting of course that friends is not and never will be “lesser” than other types of relationships, they’re just different!) Of course it was a crush, right? Just a crush that my asexuality was making feel weird?

Nope!

It felt completely different from all the romantic crushes I’d had, and different from the romantic relationship I’m currently in. Identifying it as a “crush” was uncomfortable and not correct, but I didn’t have the language to express how different it felt. This is why casual rep is so important: I learned about the term “queerplatonic” in a My Hero Academia fanfiction.

When I figured it out I was incredibly excited, but explaining it to others proved to be difficult. The only ones who get it right away are homestucks and that’s the tea.

One friend I was struggling to explain it to responded to “I don’t know, I can’t explain how it’s different from romance any more than I can explain how romance is different from friendship” with “Maybe it’s like trying to explain color to a blind person” and I felt that.

tl;dr if you experience it, it’s not just a fucked up romantic crush and you’re not broken! Media representation is incredibly important to give people the language they need to express themselves and ask for relationships, and just because you can’t see pink, that doesn’t mean that others can’t!

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Okay look, maybe it’s just because I’m (probably) aromantic in addition to being asexual, and I do get that it’s very obviously a queer relationship and most of the vitriol is directed by the idiots trying to pretend TMA is in anyway straight

but

I feel like the fandom’s absolute insistence that Jon and Martin’s relationship is romantic and not platonic in anyway is discounting the importance and validity of queerplatonic relationships in the aspec community. Like, I read it as a romance too, and obviously Jonny has said he’s writing it as one, but I just want to point out that viewing Jonmartin as a queerplatonic relationship is just as valid as them simply being in a romantic relationship

I’m just saying

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Dear Tumblrs,

Something great happened.Well great is an understatement.So the thing is I CAME OUT!!!!Thanks to@beckyalbertalli

I am literally smiling while writing this.COMING OUT is a big deal but it wasn’t awkward for me(Kudos to my mom).So last night (1st April) at midnight I told my mom,“I am bi-sexual”…..she stared at me for a while and then she said,“That’s alright."We hugged*happy tears*

The ironical thing is I confessed to her on April Fool’s day and just before confessing we watched a film about a gay couple(Movie:What keeps you alive).

So yeah this is my story.The story of a girl with rainbow-tinted heart.Just to mention LGBTQ+ marriage isn’t legal in our country yet.Not that I think a lot about it*smirks*.

The FEELING is unexplainable and peaceful.It’s like a load has been lifted off my chest.I was a supporter of Pride parade and I am a part of it now.

Thanks for reading this.I’ll keep you posted about any further updates of my New life.

-R

🌈xoxo🌈

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Originally posted by aestheticallypleasingrat

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So, there are some relationships that will be considered canon for this AU, and before I list them I would just like to let you know that these ships were set up to be fun, and some of them were specifically set up to be power couples/groups. There are quite a few polyamorus ships.

If you do not like the ships, anything containing them will have character/character tags and you can ignore them. We’re all here to have fun, so please be kind. That being said, here they are!! In no particular order:

  • Anti/The Host (previously Anti/The Author)
  • Bing/Chase/The Googles (Otherwise known as Androids and Their Boi.)
  • Magnum/Eric
  • Dark/Wilford/Bim/Marvin (Sometimes referred to as “The Drama Quartet” to save time. Open relationship)
  • Jackie/King/Illinois (Open relationship)
  • Yancy/JJ
  • Dr. Iplier/Silver/Schneep (Abreviated to The Docs/Silver. Open Relationship)
  • Ed/Antonia
  • Reynolds/Alex
  • Robbie & The Jims (queerplatonic, Open Relationship.)

If it’s not specified as open, then it’s closed. Each open one behaves a little differently.

  • The Drama Quartet is Open for pleasure based things only, as they are all very happy with their current relationship and more people would likely make at least one of them feel uncomfortable.
  • Jackie, King, and Illinois are Open in that any of them can have other partners, so long as All partners are aware.
  • The Docs and Silver are Open in that Henrik specifically is down for experimentation with whoever asks if he knows them or is curious and his partners are okay with this.
  • Robbie & The Jims are Open because their relationship is not one that they believe should be closed. They simply haven’t found anyone else they want to be in any form of romantic relationship with lately. They’re also all Ace so, it’s not a pleasure related thing.
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It feels like people always overhype romance.

“You think about them every second of every day.”

“You feel these butterflies in your stomach.”

“Your chest feels like it’s going to explode.”

It’s like, surely this must be overhyped? It can’t really be like all the Hallmark movies say, because life isn’t a paperback romance.

I think these conflicting opinions are part of what makes it so hard to question being aromantic or having alterous/Queerplatonic attraction. Like, is what I’m feeling actually romance without the media hype, or is it something else?

I don’t know, and no one gives me the same answer.

I try to describe it to one friend and I get told it’s romance, to another friend and it’s Queerplatonic. But apparently I’m the only one who can decide, but I just don’t know.

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Support Course Deku Part 8

  • Deku, after coming to realize his feelings for todoroki, realized they weren’t quite romantic feelings after all. They certainly were feelings but they weren’t what everyone described as love. There was love for sure but… not the heart racing, explosive love as everyone else experienced.
  • It was subtle. It was seeing todorokis flaws and wanting to help the other become better. It was wanting to be by his side for the rest of his life. It was never wanting to leave the other hanging. It was what Deku could ever feel for his “crushes”.
  • After some research he came to the conclusion that he had fallen into platonic love for the other. It made sense in a way, but it still didn’t help because he knew that he felt deeper feelings then just those associated with “best friends”.
  • After much more research on different forums he came to the conclusion that maybe he felt something akin to something called “queer platonic love”. It made sense to him, as he’d never had a real crush (that wasn’t forced) before and that he was able to love but not in the most usual way to love. Not low stakes platonic love or romantic love but in a way that envelopes him and doesn’t let him go.
  • Eventually he was able to come to terms with this as he’d never quite been the type to fall in love fast. Sure he fell in love, just not the type that most people understood. And that’s ok.
  • Maybe he’ll tell the other of his feelings at some point, but… he shouldn’t distract his friend. His friend should focus on his goals, and Deku will always be there to help.
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You were one of the first people I came out to.

Too nervous to tell you in person, I sent you an email at the end of Friday, begging you to still love me. I was afraid of so much. Afraid you would abandon me, now that you knew I wasn’t who you thought I was. Afraid you would laugh, say that I don’t exist, I was trying to be special. And while the rational part of my brain knew that you had always been supportive…

I was just so scared.

You reacted better than I could have ever hoped for. You didn’t brush me off, acting like it was no big deal, because for me, it was the biggest. You reminded me you loved me, no matter what, and asked questions respectfully after clarifying that I didn’t need to answer any if I didn’t want to. I still read that email back sometimes.

And when we saw each other again, you made sure to use my pronouns, slipping up only once before correcting yourself.

Thank you for always loving me.

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I have that text you sent me right as 2020 began screenshotted.

I read it back whenever I’m feeling down.

That was when you told me you loved me. And I desperately hoped you didn’t mean romantically, because I knew I loved you, but not in that way, and I couldn’t stand to lose your friendship.

I remember that moment. When I pulled out my phone, planning to just send a little good morning at 12:01, to find paragraphs explaining how much you cared for me. I cried as I told you I loved you too.

Even when I feel like curling in my bed and not getting up, I take comfort in reading through our conversations.

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Teardrop from Battle for Dream island is a lesbiangender butch lesbian with selective mutism who uses 💧/💧s pronouns and she/her or they/them auxiliary pronouns! 💧 is dating Ice Cube, a bisexual fingender ice cube who uses ae/aer and ey/em pronouns! 💧 is also in a QPR with Needle, a pansexual genderqueer nonboy who uses she/her pronouns, Gaty, a cleancoric agender woman who uses they/them pronouns, and Pin, a transfeminine enby who uses she/her and ✨/✨s pronouns!

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