#questioning ace

[nexus-nebulae]

petition to call wondering if you're aspec "a-speculation"

#aspec #arospec #acespec #anattractional #asexual #aromantic #aplatonic #aplspec #questioning aspec #questioning aro #questioning ace #afamilial #atertiary #greatest hits

[aroace-thoughts]

Just a reminder: Questioning people are always welcome in the aspec community

Stay, have fun, learn, ask questions, this is a safe place to explore your labels!

I know everything can feel overwhelming.

Don’t feel bad if you end up discovering you are or aren’t aspec. There’s nothing wrong with deciding a label isn’t for you after all, either way you’re not wasting anyone’s time.

We’re here to give you resources and support and a listening ear!

Never forget that the Q in LGBTQIA+ stands for both queer and questioning 💜💚

#aromantic #aro #asexual #ace #aroace #questioning #questioning aro #questioning ace #aro positivity #ace positivity #aspec #questioning aspec

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Just a rant.

Aroace culture is being annoyed at people over sexualizing and romanticizing things like bedroom, sleepover, boy/girl friendship, dates, physical affection and kissing. Even confessions. I think it has been drilled into our brains so much even aroaces might feel weird and careful displaying any of them.

Though I'm the one saying this, I do feel awkward and afraid of displaying affection to my friends and family. "Is this right? Am I a creep?" I doubt myself, sometimes I even feel ashamed, all this struggle is because my brain follows the so called "norm" which is "a man and woman can't be friends, they can't be alone together in a bedroom without doing anything funny, they can't live together like friends", "Kissing is only sexual/romantic (including pecks)", "dating is romantic" blah blah blah. Gosh! I wanna be so affectionate with my friends, I wanna go on dates, hug them, kiss them, cuddle them...so so much but my brain is currently stuck on these toxic patterns. Even when my friends show affection, I feel weird and ashamed. I hate it.

I gotta get out of these thinking patterns. I hate amatonormativity. I hate over sexualizing or romanticizing things. I hate all the suffering many people including myself are going through because of this, not just aroaces. I just hate it.

Posted on Oct 30, 2023

#aromantic #asexual #asexuality #aromanticism #ace #questioning aroace #aro #aroace #questioning aro #questioning ace #queer #aspec #lgbtqia+ #rant post #amatonormativity #kissing #friendship #norm #physical affection #romance #sexuality #over sexualizing #over romanticizing

[secrets-from-a-person-in-pieces]

can aroace people experience gay «panic» (don’t like that term but i want people to understand just for now, thanku to the people in the comments telling me)? is it possible to have a kind of non sexual non romantic just aesthetic or sensual or whatever gay panic? because then everything kinda adds up.

(i am HORRIBLE at telling the diffrence between attraction and just yeah)

also what does sexual and romantic attraction feel like? like compared to wanting to be someones best friend (that compared to romantic attraction) and aesthetic vs sexual. bc i look at people and be like DAMN THEY LOOK GOOD but i do not think it is a sexual kinda thing. i don’t know. just please if you have any realisation moments you had while questioning or in general aro or/and ace or aspec people, please tell anything!!!!

answer whatever you can PLEASE.

edit: thanku to everyone who has reposted and responded/commented!!!!!

just wanted to update and say that i’m probably not aro, just really bad at telling the diffrence between romantic and platonic feelings, resulting in confusing situations. thanku for all the advice and all the things people have said!!!

#aspec #acespec #arospec #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #cupioromantic #lgbtq #questioning ace #questioning aro #aroace #aromantic asexual #aroace people please help

[crowfromfoggyforest]

constantly questioning where on the ace spectrum i am is so annoying.

i'll see a person or character and think "omg look at them they're so gorgeous they make me feel things *insert sexually attracted emoji*"

but then my brain immediately goes "wait. but is that sexual attraction? you don't want to fuck them, right? you just thing they look really good. and you feel something, but do you even know what that is? maybe you just want to touch them (but not in a sexual way)? is it sensual attraction? does that mean you're completely asexual after all? Okay allosexual people have said when you're sexually attracted to someone your brain sort of snaps when you see them. check. you become very aware of their physical features and how beautiful they are. check. but what then? is that already the sexual attraction part? god i need an allo to just tell me if they really see people on the streets and want to fuck them or not"

#i swear i can't see a pretty person anymore without having an existential crisis #seriously what am i #what does finding someone hot mean #help #yeah i've decided queer posts go on this blog now #and also don't count how often i said “sexual attraction” in this post lol #asexual #acespec #greysexual #grey ace #questioning ace #aspec

[mothidocandart]

as an asexual person who is constantly questioning their asexuality, I occasionally make OC’s whose only purpose is to have extreme sexual tension. However the moment I start assigning actual personalities to these characters, I realize that them having sex makes no sense, and am forced to make yet more OC’s for the purpose previously described. But then-

#It also doesn’t help that I can’t write smut because I fall asleep every time #try and get me to write a sex scene and you’ll find me dozing on my desk in 10 seconds #it’s a cycle #How am I supposed to explore the tenets of my sexuality in conditions like these #asexual #asexuality #questioning ace

[mhathotfic]

Oh wait am I on the asexual spectrum? I don’t think I care if I have sex, like at all? Like if someone is into it and I’m into it yeah I’ll fuck with them, but like I don’t think I care about it. I think I could live the rest of my life sexless and be perfectly content. Is there a term for that?

#questioning ace #aspec #asexuality

[riseconfessions]

"Here’s an unpopular headcanon that I came up with: Questioning Aroace April. I don't imagine April really being interested in romance at all in the slightest, even when older. She still questions her orientation, but alternately figures out that she's not into romance of any kind. Adventure is her true love lol"

#aroace #questioning #questioning pride #questioning aro #questioning ace #questioning asexual #rottmnt #tmnt #rise april #april o'neil #rise of the tmnt #rise of tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #bring back rise of the tmnt #bring back rottmnt #bring back rise #unpause rise of the tmnt #unpause rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #unpause rottmnt #rottmnt season 3 #rise confessions #rise confession 437

[elleashling]

>be me

>be aro, born female (agender) and questioning ace

>get period on valentine’s day

thank you body, very helpful!

#literally what is the reason. what for. #actually aromantic #arospec #questioning ace #aromantic #aromantism #actually arospec

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning ace culture is definitely feeling romantic attraction, and also reading smut, but the idea of having sex (especially with a dude) grosses you out.

<3

#questioning aspec culture #ace #questioning ace #asexual #acespec #queer

[abucketofweird]

“Some of her patients, she added, wondered for years whether they were asexual before understanding that the medications may have played a role.”

I’m very curious about how people feel surrounding this issue. Especially younger people who discovered they were ace at a younger age while/after taking S.S.R.I’s.

I have really mixed feelings about this considering I went on meds around 13 years old. Around that time I discovered the ace identity and started to question myself for years. I have not been off antidepressant since then but I definitely wonder all the time if this plays a factor in my feelings.

As someone who questions my identity every other week currently things like this are difficult for me to handle. There has always been the question for me of “who am I without my meds?”

Anyways I would love to hear other people’s thoughts on this topic since I haven’t really seen it around in my feed.

#I want to emphasize that if you connect with that label you can use it #no matter if it’s something that might change or have been affected #ace #asexuel #questioning ace #aromantic #aroace #lgbtq #aromanitc #depression #anxiety #medication #ssri

[ceilidhtransing]

It's so good to go through the Ace Week tag and read everyone's different experiences with asexuality and other ace-spectrum identities.

What's particularly interesting to me is when people talk about having had really long and difficult journeys realising they were ace - because for me, it was pretty much instant. As an adolescent I never paid much attention to my sexuality, passively assuming I was some kind of late bloomer, dreading the apparent inevitability that at some point I would have to have sex but rationalising that since everyone does it and everyone likes it then some day I'd feel the same (or at least have to put up with it, because what other option is there), until one day an acquaintance casually mentioned asexuality in conversation. From this first hearing of the word to me fully identifying as ace was about 1-2 days. It was like switching on a light. The fact that I'm ace was just so obvious and unavoidable, and as soon as I heard that what I already felt had A Word and was actually recognised as A Thing, that was it, I knew that was me. Seven and a half years later, that's still how I feel.

So I guess what I want to communicate - aside from just adding one more perspective and experience to the communal discussion that happens every October - is that it's entirely OK if the realisation of your sexuality comes not after a lengthy, agonising process of self-reflection, but rather very quickly after first hearing that a word exists. Your identity feeling so obvious and unquestionable that it required almost zero period of questioning doesn't make it any less real or valid or accurate than an identity reached after years of uncertainty and scrutiny. I think sometimes in the queer community we talk about long, slow realisations more than we talk about these lightbulb "oh, right, that's me" moments, but the latter definitely happen too (as does everything in between!) and you're absolutely valid no matter what journey you took to reach your identity.

#i think this kind of experience is probably particularly common among people of less well-known identities #because a lot of the time it's presented as either “i never had a 'moment of realisation'; i always knew i was gay”... #...or “it took me 10+ years to finally realise who i was” #it's very difficult for the likes of ace people to “always know we're ace” because it's an identity... #...so rarely talked about that a lot of us grow up just never even hearing it mentioned #and then sometimes as soon as we do hear it we go “oh right that's me that was relatively easy” #not that ace people never have long and winding roads to finding their identity! as i say plenty of people have that experience #and everyone's road is valid no matter what it looks like #so happy ace week everyone #ace #asexual #asexuality #acespec #ace week #asexuality awareness week #questioning #questioning ace #my posts

[aro-ace-culture-is]

Another rant.

One day my grandma said, "You should get married soon"

I asked, "what if I don't want to? I have my friends....and you."

They replied, "Friends are never equal to a husband, no matter how close you are".

I was really curious. "Say, what is the difference between the two?"

"You know. The feeling of someone being there for you, with you, always, 24/7 no matter what? Friends are never gonna give that feeling. I have friends too, but my husband is certainly different. Irreplaceable."

Now this is an old lady who married in her teens and spent 60+ years with her husband. She was dependent on him, according to all the stories she told me about their relationship. Now she's over 90. I bet my ancestors were like, "A girl's gotta marry and settle. Marriage is a priority". Because everyone in that era (in our area) mostly married....and sustained in the relationship. It was obviously more than any other relationship. It's on a whole another level. And also because I picked this belief up from them.

What I knew in my heart:

That's bullshit. Friends can give that feeling too. If we try enough to focus on friendship. And can prioritize it enough. If we love our friends enough in our own way. People are different. And there are many among them who value friendship as much as romance. But I get where she's coming from. It is what she learned from her experience. I don't blame her at all.

What I felt:

It hurt. It made me doubt my new beliefs. Growing up, I was taught marriage was the norm. I grew up thinking I would marry one day, it's inevitable. It's impossible for me to be single cuz no one else would be with me. That I needed a person to be always with me. I grew up believing it hard. Now that's backfiring. Especially after I learned about my aroace identity.

All this rant is for one doubt. Is there a norm in this extremely diverse world? Either everything is normal or everything is abnormal. There is not one generalization or stereotype that is completely true because the world is fucking abnormal with kinds of conditions and people. There's not one invalid emotion or identity because humans are naturally complex. It's human nature. It's normal.

Nevermind this is all over the place, lemme just end it with some slogans.

BEGONE THE SO-CALLED NORM!

BEGONE STEREOTYPES!!

BEGONE GENERALIZATIONS!!!

Amen.

Posted on Nov 01, 2023

#ace #aro #questioning aroace #amatonormativity #questioning aro #questioning ace #generalization #stereotypes #aroace #queer #lgbtqia+ #marriage #romantic relationships #norm #human nature #aspec

[thataspecblog]

Welcome to the Aspec Blog!

Aspec is a combined term for "aromantic spectrum" and "asexual spectrum." It is an umbrella term for the collective ace and aro community!

This is a blog that is inclusive of all forms of asexuality and aromanticism. We allow "culture is" asks, confessions and questions.

Posts will be tagged as:

#aspec culture is - for culture posts

#aspec confessions - for confessionals

#aspec advice - for asks requesting advice

#aspec questioning - for asks questioning their aspec orientation

#aspec positivity - positivity posts about aspecs

#aphobia - posts discussing aphobia

#reblog - reblogged posts

#discourse - discourse posts

Things NOT allowed on this blog:

Sex negativity. (Not the same as sex-repulsion!)

Kink-shaming.

Kink at pride discourse.

Anti-sex work rhetoric/whorephobia.

Shaming relationships.

Conflating of asexuality and hyposexuality. (Asexuals can enjoy sex if we want to! Vent posts about sex-repulsion are fine so long as you're not implying sex is inherently bad, or that other asexuals can't enjoy sex.)

Victim-blaming/shaming unhealthy & abusive relationship dynamics... (Also implying that only allos experience intimate partner violence/domestic abuse.)

Negativity against microlabels.

This is not an exhaustive list. Any asks considered to be bigoted or offensive will be discarded in the trash. Aphobic asks will be burned in the garbage with the rest as well. 🖤

The Moderator:

I use He/They pronouns & you can just refer to me as Mod A. I'm a two-spirited sex-positive oriented aroace and an adult. I'm a physically & mentally disabled mixed-race Native American.

#aspec #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #aroace #aromantic asexual #aspec culture is #aro culture is #ace culture is #inclusive #queer #questioning aspec #questioning aro #questioning ace #actually asexual #actually aromantic #actually aspec #lgbtqia+ #lgbtqia #lgbtq #2slgbtqia+

[questioning-culture-is]

im questioning ace but im young so i really wont know until im older, also im lesbian and i think i like she/her but idk sometimes i dont feel like it.

.

#questioning #questioning culture #questioning ace #ace #questioning pronouns

[orientedgal]

I made my first pride flag for questioning aces and aros! (the regular questioning label didn't feel right for me) I'm not sure what the colors mean,but I'm sure I'll find out. I mad the pride flag since I'm an ace questioning between biromantic,polyromantic,or whether I'm sort of aro. (is there a word for sort of aro? I'm attracted to the way boys and girls look,and sometimes feel romantic attraction,but not much) Should there be a name for this flag?

#aromanitc #asexual #pride #pride flag #questioning ace