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Jason: I’ve learned some very valuable lessons from you all today.

Hercules: I’m guessing they’re all horribly distorted from the lesson you actually should have taken away.

Jason: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically a god.

38 notes · See All
Baldr, to Loki: How do I say this delicately? You're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you!
Odin, trying to be a peacemaker: Let's phrase our statements with "When you do THIS, it makes me feel THIS".
Baldr: Fine. Okay. Uh, let's see.
Baldr: When you LIVE HERE, it makes me feel ANGRY... because you're a horrible roommate and nobody in this house likes you.
119 notes · See All
Aphrodite: A proper lady requires an escort for the gala!
Hebe: *looks at Apollo*
Apollo: No.
Hebe: Please! I don't want to embarrass myself in front of fancy folk!!
Apollo: Fine! But I'm not wearing pants!!
140 notes · See All
Hermes, grumbling to Set: You whacked me with a pillow! Hard!!
Hermes: I'm dizzy, and I have serious short term memory loss!!
Hermes: And I have serious short term memory loss!!
92 notes · See All
Horus, grumbling: Why'd they put me in the beginners' club with the little kids?!! I can't be swimming around with a bunch of 5 year olds!!
Horus, tearfully: They can be so cruel when they sense weakness!!!
Sobek: That's why on the first day, you have to beat up the biggest one in the yard!
Anubis: Sobek, that's prison.
Sobek: Only if you let it be!
61 notes · See All
Horus, texting: I accidentally ate a hal and peenyo, my mouth is on fire
Anubis, texting back: fuck off
Horus: what???
Anubis: "a hal and peenyo"
Horus, still confused: what?
Anubis: just die
Horus: The green thing.. that's what it's called??
Horus: that's a fucking dance isn't it??
89 notes · See All
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