Volume 15 is out in July so in the mean time here are some headcanons on how hugging/being hugged by the thaumaturges feels like (because I am touch starved).
Verone : Feels like a kid hug. Probably doesn't get hugs often. Please someone hug this kid.
Ullmina : Crushing and deadly. Would probably break your bones.
Liselotte : Cold but nice. Smells like smoking.
Santori : Itchy, because of the beard.
Von Teppes : Probably feels like hugging a very pretentious rock.
Dragunov : Nice clothes, soft hair, good body... It probably feels like heaven. Or just the confort of a good nap.
Torque : Feels like hugging a dead animal.
9 notes · View notes
I fractured at 9.
The fault lines had been there for years;
Etching their way through my mind
Laying the foundation as it were
For my future instabilities.
A broken home
Neuordivergent in all directions.
I wasn't all that functional as a child
But I was 9 when it finally cracked.
Throw in religious iconography
Delusional obsession fueled by ADHD
And you get an inflamed consciousness too active for its own good.
I existed inside a mindscape where God abused me daily
And only my own fractured psyche kept me company.
Came back together at 11
Dissociating was becoming the norm.
I broke again at 17.
Back together and thriving at 21.
24 and being on the cusp of being whole.
And fracturing once again.
Patterns eating patterns.
Reality something I could rarely hold.
Months were lost
Unable to tell what was real
Who I was
Or what I was doing.
Inflamed beyond my on comprehension.
That was when we all made contact.
The various personalities and myself
Broken up through time
Different incarnations of a present theme.
A central gravity well
Drawing in the parts.
Put back together again
That gave rise to me.
Myself birthing myself
Breaking chains and loving me.
For the first time in life
Existing without a mask.
Decades of hiding done away with
And for the first time
An honest stability.
I have really bad days still,
And I can't say if I personally will still be around in a year.
I've been trapped in cycle of reincarnation within my own body for so long.
2-3 years is all we usually ever get
But becoming who we are today
Has been in the works far longer than my own current awareness.
Had a rough weekend.
Felt those disassociative tendrils feeling for something to hold.
It can be easy to give in
Especially when my sense of what is real
Is so often warped.
But still breathing.
Head is spinning
But able to find strength
In the knowledge of being myself.
Overcoming a lot of adversity right now.
Change on every front
With no clear path forward in every facet.
Because that is all I known to do.
Trying to find touch.
21 notes · View notes