#raised by narcissists

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Someone in the "narcissistic abuse" tag said that they grew up unable to stick to any goals or interests because their narcissistic mom taught them that no one cares.

That's not because your mom's a narcissist. That's pretty much a universal experience for any neurodivergent person. And anyone who listens to neurodivergent people for just a few seconds would know that.

Why do people insist so hard on scapegoating mental illness for abusive patterns that are normalized by society?

#narcissistic abuse #ableism #npd positivity #surviving narcissism #raised by narcissists

[doffypilled]

if you randomly traumadump about your “narcissistic xyz who narc abused you” on narc positivity/experiences posts, reminder nobody cares. i dont care how insensitive it sounds but youre derailing. nobody in the tags of their own disorder venting or talking about it wants to hear about someone with that same disorder who abused you

[TRANSLATION: if you randomly traumadump about your “narcissistic xyz who narc abused you” on narc positivity/experiences posts, reminder nobody cares. i dont care how insensitive it sounds but youre derailing. nobody in the tags of their own disorder venting or talking about it wants to hear about someone with that same disorder who abused you]

#actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #narc abuse #narcissistic abuse #actually narcissistic #raised by narcissists #npd #npd posting

[dailydiarynquotes]

#breakup recovery #breakup #heartbreak #sad love #soul ties #healthybreakup #moving on #daily diary #diary #heartache #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic trauma #narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissisticgaslighting #Gaslighting #gaslight #healing #mental health #healing from trauma #self healing #healingjourney #if he wanted to he would

[nothing0fnothing]

The number of times I've caught myself in the middle of telling myself how worthless, unlovable, dislikable and embarrassing I am is too many. It's almost every day.

And sometimes I correct myself and say "I am not unlovable" "I am allowed to make mistakes" "I have grown and changed since then."

Sometimes, I just wallow in the shame.

#raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse #dysfunctional family #childhood trauma #parental abuse #dysfunctional household #toxic parents #vent post #toxic mom #complex trauma #mental health #mental illness #mentally fucked #actually mentally ill #overwhelmed #coping #therapy

[alostlittleriverlotus]

what also gets me about people being so adamant about using the word "narcissist" or some form of it to describe shitty people is...there are other words. I was just watching a drew gooden video and he said "If you knowingly take part in something that has the potential to put other people in harm's way and you still do it cause it's kind of fun for you, you are selfish and you suck." (It's the gender reveal party.)

Just seeing how many commentary YouTubers, especially more leftist ones that talk about the heavier side of things like misogynists and seeing them use the term narcissistic or delusional is just. We HAVE other words we can use! We HAVE USED other words for years before narcissistic became a big trend to say and narcissistic abuse really ramped up as a pop psychology trend.

It is literally SO easy to use other words. You can Google similar words. Selfish, self centered, self righteous, egotistical, arrogant, entitled. One of the best words I find is probably entitled. Because a lot of bigots and misogynists and shit that usually get delusional and narcissistic thrown at them are really more self centered, arrogant, and entitled. Self interested, self obsessed. Especially since for abusers, misogynists, other shitty people, the entitled comes from the fact it is NORMALIZED!!!!! It is not a bunch of narcissists harming people, it is a society, a world, that has normalized this behaviour. They are entitled, they are abusive, they are selfish, they are cruel. There are so many OTHER WORDS to describe your abuse, to describe shitty people. Just call them abusers or bigots for fucks sake. And even if some delusional people may get roped into it cause they're vulnerable, typically it is a lot of people who are INTENTIONALLY doing it. It is normalized, it is allowed!

All we narcissists ask is that you not use a word that demonizes us. "There's a difference" yet other people say there isn't, other people say NPD isn't even fucking real, other people say pwNPD ARE abusive. If we used any kind of other word for the more "talked about" disorders, there would be a problem. We ask that you change it, we ask that you use other words, we ask that you not further add to the stigma. The same stigma that BPD deals with, that autistic people deal with, that any neurodivergent person deals with. The stigma and demonization is something ALL neurodivergencies have fucking faced!!! It may have moved away from demonization for a lot of disorders, but there ARE people that DO still believe it.

We fucking ask you literally use any other word. And you refuse to. You refuse to listen to us. You refuse to believe us when we tell you the harm it has and how it actually prevents us from finding resources. You say "of course a narcissist would want that." You see it as an attack on you and your trauma. You are throwing trauma victims at risk of abuse under the bus because you want to feel vindicated in your own trauma. You completely ignore any critical thinking of what we say to turn it against us, to ignore us, to bring up your own trauma as a defense point. Yes, you were abused by someone and it is terrible that happened. So were we!!! My abusive mom probably has NPD, but it did not affect the abuse I faced, it only add strains in our relationship outside of the abuse that still affect us to this day.

It is SO easy to find another word, to literally just listen to us, to not throw us under the same fucking bus. To not group us in with abusers and rapists and child sex offenders and murderers. Would you fucking like to be compared to your abuser? Pretty sure you fucking wouldn't. So why is it okay to do to us?

Some people will never listen. No matter what I say, it does not matter. As with any kind of thinking along these lines. But for those that are still reachable, please. Listen to us. And what would you even do if you found yourself having NPD traits? Wouldn't it be terrifying to see that in yourself? Because I sure as hell thought it was. It made me hate myself and further believe that I could NEVER do any wrong because I wasn't like my narcissistic abusers and worsened my relationship difficulties. A fair bit of narcissists on here had also fallen into that same hole. It doesn't heal you. It keeps you angry, scared, upset. It makes you want to hurt them back. And that will not heal you. It'll keep you defensive. It's keeping you in a victim mentality and preventing healing.

To the ones that ARE reachable, I hope you can learn something from my posts, from posts I reblog, or from any other posts. It starts with narcissists and "psychopaths" (antisocials), but it is the same place the stigma of every neurodivergency and mental disorder stems from. It's why other disorders may still get demonization from some ableists. That a lot of autistic experiences were based around how it affected OTHER PEOPLE like "think of their mom having that autistic kid :(" it is not anything new. It is the same ableism and stigma. It is less demonized for other disorders now, focusing more on treating it as no big deal, ignoring the actual difficult symptoms of such disorders (like if you have poor hygiene, people will judge you regardless), or even infantilization. There IS still stigma, but the stigma was once the same as us, demonization. It comes from the same place. It's things said about other disorders still today even if it is rarer. It's just more well known for the "scary" personality and psychotic disorders since there is a big push to destigmatize things like depression, anxiety, OCD, autism.

Do not throw us under the bus. It will do nothing. It is the same fucking stigma, the same fucking arguments. Like gay people throwing trans people under the bus, they're called the same things even if it seems like they aren't. It comes from the same bigotry, the same place of hatred.

It is not new, it is not different, it just is more common for personality disorders, psychotic disorders, and schizospec disorders. So when we bring up these things, mention how using the term directly associated with a disorder in the DSM V and how it prevents us getting help, how using the term narcissistic DOES correlate to NPD, please fucking listen.

Cause nothing will ultimately benefit you for continuing down that rabbit hole. Narcissistic abuse believers don't help victims of abuse, those articles and questions don't help you heal. It keeps you angry how anyone could do that, it takes advantage of your vulnerability and desire to find meaning and logic out of it. The reality is, you may never know why or at least not until you are away from the abuse.

We are trauma victims as well. We are still at risk of abuse because of our disorder. I would genuinely stay with an abuser just for the sake of narc supply regardless of how they hurt me if I did not have a good support system. For our "toxic" traits, we cannot work on them without help and the idea of narcissistic abuse pushes stigma further which prevents us from even finding free online resources, let alone if we actually tried to seek any fucking help.

Narcissistic abuse is not real and it will never be. Please fucking include us in "mental health matters" and the push for destigmatizing disorders. We are fucking humans that need help. And even if we were all toxic and selfish hypothetically, removing the ability to find resources or get help is NOT the way to go.

Even when I believed in narcissistic abuse, I would search to find answers on why I aligned with NPD if I wasn't an abuser or a bad person. I was terrified to even suspect it despite how much attention and love and supply I needed and how that applied to the very essence of my being. Even when I examined my own actions, all I found was treating it as if they're the utter worst of humanity. Even with my toxic and unhealthy acts because I was a fucking traumatized teen with no experience for relationships of any kind especially not healthy ones, I could not find answers or help. And all that did was reassure me that I WAS the good person, that I was JUSTIFIED in my toxic desires because I was traumatized. It did not help me with my emotional regulation, it worsened it.

Even if narcissists WERE all abusers or toxic and bad, they deserve fucking help and a chance to be able to see their actions in a better light. Some people may never change, but plenty will if given resources and actual professional help. The idea of narcissistic abuse refuses that and just demonizes it and NOBODY wants to be demonized, NOBODY wants to believe they're a bad person. The term narcissistic abuse and the environment and community surrounding it is toxic. It always will be. That is inherently what it is about. It kept me terrified that someone might call me an abusive narcissist because of my emotional difficulties, that someone would take me out of context and turn me into a monster like my family had done my entire fucking life. It keeps you defensive, it keeps you scared, it keeps you mistrustful, it keeps you in those trauma responses. It does not fucking help victims find peace of mind or heal. It keeps you triggered.

Also NPD isn't just a single disorder on its own. It's comorbid or the person could be ND in other ways. BPD + NPD, it has some genetic factors so a narcissistic parent may increase likelihood you have it, there are DID systems with it. You are not just throwing people with purely ONLY NPD under the bus, but whoever else may have it that may also fall under many other categories. I'm autistic and have NPD, I'm a system with NPD, I'm schizospec and psychotic with NPD. I have ADHD and NPD. They may not be directly related and comorbid, but I do still fall under these other categories. So autistics throwing people with NPD under the bus does nothing for the narcissists that are also fucking autistic. So by throwing narcissists under the bus, you are throwing a LOT of people with that disorder that also have other forms of neurodivergency under the bus as well. And the stigma all comes from the same place anyway.

#narcissistic abuse #narcissistic #narcissist #narc #narc abuse #narcissistic abuse isn't real #actually narcissistic #actually traumatized #npd #rant #narcissistic parents #surviving narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissism #narcissistic personality disorder #npd stigma #cluster b safe #npd traits #npd safe #stigma #demonization #mental health advocacy #mental health awareness #mental health matters #mental health #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurospicy #neurodiverse stuff #neurodiversity

[92fs]

At the end of the day, the only person truly suffering from NPD, surviving NPD, and feeling hurt by NPD is the narcissist who has this condition.

With that being said, #surviving narcissism, #surviving npd, #narc survivor are our tags now.

#NPD #I told you folks to go die in a ditch in 2021 I will tell you that again. #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic abuse is real #raised by narcissists #surviving narcissism #surviving npd #narc survivor

[theconcealedweapon]

Abusive parents literally look at any problem in society and believe that it's caused by children not being physically abused enough.

Police officers literally believe that it's their right to kill people for disobeying them.

And these people find supporters very easily.

It's very clear that abuse isn't caused by personality disorders. If an abuser has a personality disorder, it's a completely irrelevant trait, just like their height or hair color.

#raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse #ableism #surviving narcissism

[narcitism]

seeing things like "how to TORTURE and KILL a NARCISSIST" isn't very fun, imagine if we made things called "HOW TO SLAUGHTER AND MAKE AN EMPATH BLEED OUT!!!!!" i think we would get shot

#narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #npd #narcissism positivity #npder #npd positivity #narc abuse isn’t real #narcissistic abuse #npd safe #narcissistic abuse isn’t real #narcissticabuseawareness #narcissism #narcisst #narcissistic awareness #npd traits #narc posting #narcissistic abuse awareness #raised by narcissists #empath

[roomwithavoid]

the haters aren’t gonna like this one but i’m right!

#npd #narcissistic personality disorder #narcissist safe #npd safe #cw ableism #cw ableist language #the following tags are people who need to see this one :) #npd abuse #narcissistic abuse #narcissist #narcissistic trauma #narcissistic parents #narcissisticgaslighting #narcissism #raised by narcissists #narcissistic mother #narcissistic father #narcissistic ex #narcissistic relationship

[walkwithursus]

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but a child cannot ‘abandon’ a parent. There’s no such thing as parent abandonment. Either you cultivate a relationship with your child that encourages them to maintain contact with you as an adult, or they can leave. Full stop.

#complex ptsd #raised by narcissists #child abuse #emotionally immature parents #trauma

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"Narcissists see nothing wrong with their actions until you do the same to them."

Really? Are you seriously suggesting that every parent who yells at their child and punishes them for disrespect if they yell back is a narcissist? That's an astronomically large number of people to armchair diagnose with narcissism.

#narcissistic abuse #ableism #npd positivity #surviving narcissism #raised by narcissists

[catsanddemonssystem]

So for those of you who don't know. Personality disorders are commonly caused by a combination of childhood trauma and genetics. Many narc abuse believers would have ended up as narcissists themselves if they were genetically predisposed to it.

#narcissistic mother #narcissistic traits #narcissistic personality disorder #narc #narcissism #actually narcissistic #narc abuse believers dni #narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #narcissistic parents #actually npd #npd

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

"oh well NPD abuse is recognized by professionals! its acedemically researched!"

wanna know what else is recognized by professionals? the autism speaks model of autism! that doesnt stop them from demonizing us.

wanna know what else is acedemically researched? addiction! that doesnt stop them from demonizing us.

euro-elitist structures, like acedemia, are more often than not biased against marginalized communities. including/especially the marginalized communities they are studying. you cannot cherry-pick which ideas to critique and which ideas to unquestionably apply.

think critically, and remember who benefits the most from the seperation and discourse within the neurodivergent community (hint: its not any of us).

#actually npd #npd safe #npd abuse #narcissistic trauma #narcissistic abuse #raised by narcissists #actually mentally ill #actually traumatized #actually cluster b #actually narcissistic #cluster b #neurodiversity #neurodivergent

[nothing0fnothing]

Family, teachers, friends of my parents, parents of my friends, doctors. ..

I was not secretive about any of what I was going through. I'd been told that if anyone ever hurt me to tell an adult and I did that every single time. I would find an adult I thought could be safe, I'd tell them my experience and I'd wait for it to get better. It never did.

#vent post #raised by narcissists #narcissistic abuse #toxic parents #toxic mom #parental abuse #childhood trauma #dysfunctional family #complex trauma #dysfunctional household #cptsd life #just cptsd things #cptsd recovery #living with cptsd #cptsd problems #actually cptsd

[oasisr]

Getting yelled at by your family members for being the voice of reason or just trying to communicate and work out complex issues is a sign that your family is filled with toxic narcissists.

#I swear my entire family is like this #narcissistic #narcissistic men #narcissistic abuse #malignant narcissism #narcissists #narcissist #narcissticabuseawareness #raised by narcissists #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #abusers #toxic #family #justnofamily

[audrinawf]

The Ideal Mother vs The Borderline Mother from the book “Understanding the Borderline Mother” by Christine Ann Lawson.

a gold standard for information on BPD mothers. a painful but eye opening book that single handedly healed a lot of my mother issues (not all of them) but this a must for anyone that’s never received the validation of growing up with an unwell mother.

#bpd #raised by narcissists #borderline personality disorder #borderline mother #abusive childhood #self care #mental health #self development #pluto moon #hades moon #mother wound #strict parents #emotional abuse #glow up #psychology