sirius smut in kelp au, the only ideas that come to mind are either fighting for treasure or mermaid au
okay no but pirate!sirius is a whole different genre then pirate!remus. pirate!remus is soft and damaged, where as pirate!sirius is a lot more just like a classic cocky pirate. he's greedy, he's filthy, we love him.
i imagine he probably climbed the ranks extremely quickly (not that pirate!remus wouldn't become a captain, he just prefers to lie low, blend in). maybe seduced his way to the top, who knows...
he would honestly be amazing to write a dark fic about, but if we're going lighter, I imagine you meet him when he comes into dry land to spend some of his gold. booze, sex and gamble because what else would he need?
you hadn't been working at the brothel that long, and when he walked in, with that sea legged swagger and that heavy coin purse, he quickly had the whole establishment wrapped around his ring-clad finger...
they lined you all up along the staircase and offered him the best of the best! Camille from France who was renowned for her skilled tongue, Violet for if you wanted someone flexible, and even little Clara who still had her maidenhood intact. but no, as soon as he laid his eyes on you he knew, he had to have you.
and had you he did... he was rough, selfish and eager to feel the warmth of a woman once again. though when he had finished (probably rather quickly), exploded his pent-up load all over your tits, his demeanour seemed to melt away and he became an entirely different person.
he talked, genuinely got to know you and told you in exchange about all the crazy adventures he had experienced. he was a natural storyteller. who wouldn't become infatuated with a man like that?
at first, he just weaved his fingers with yours as the two of you spoke, then wandering fingers turned into intimate cuddles, where you occasionally shared small pecks, distracting him from his tale. eventually, the story was dropped and the soft kisses wandered further down your body.
it felt like he didn't come up for air till the sun rose, determinedly keeping his head fixed between your thighs, eating you out till you nearly passed out (or maybe you did 👀).
he spent every second he had with you in that little bordello room until his time on land ran out. kissing you longingly and promising that he would be back, that he one day he'd take you away from that place and give you a better life...
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It is once again time for me to attempt to answer asks so if I answer your ask from like, June, then I am begging for your forgiveness in advance my brain is actually broken 🙃
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Had my goyische roommate over for Hanukkah tonight. We had latkes and lit candles and also had pork ramen cuz we don’t keep kosher and I like to cook. It was a wonderful time.
Truly, we need allies like her. And we have them. It’s good to remember that.
Happy Chanukah!
Night 3!
(Don’t make fun of my janky latkes I tried a new method and it was messy. But tasty!)
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