#ranboo spitting facts though /j

[honkster]

Ranboo’s wisdom

RanbooLive – FIXING LMANBURG FOR THE FESTIVAL || DREAM SMP - 02:16:00

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Dono: I just tweeted you a girlfriend application.

Ranboo: Because we all know that the one person everyone would like to date… is a Minecraft Twitch Streamer. That is such a sad sentence. You need to raise your standards. Okay? You can do… SO much better.

“We don’t care” You should care! You guys can do so much better than a MINECRAFT TWITCH STREAMER, I swear. Like, holy cow. It’s so… Why?

Do like a doctor or something! Try to date a doctor or something. Not a MINECRAFT TWITCH STREAMER, Jesus.

And you would have to explain to your parents “yeah, he’s a MINECRAFT TWITCH STREAMER. He plays Minecraft in front of 30 THOUSAND PEOPLE EVERYDAY.” You do not want to have to explain that.

You guys really need to raise your standards, I’ma be real with you. You guys just see MINECRAFT PLAYER – WOO. That’s not what it should be.

Dono: I wont stand for this self deprecating talk.

Ranboo: It’s not self-deprecating, it’s just true. You guys don’t need to go “Minecraft Streamer aWOOGA”. You guys can do SO much better, my goodness.

Dono: ranboo I literally dated a discord moderator. My standards are in hell

Ranboo: *just laughing*

Dono: im into minecraft streamers LMAO!

Ranboo: *barely speaking through laughing* that is just such a sad sentence to hear, I’m sorry.

As someone who grew up watching like… CaptainSparklez in his prime and everything that is so funny to hear.

Minecraft streamers are my type.

*More losing-my-mind laughing*

Dono: It’s not fair that you’re hot.

Ranboo: Guys, I literally wear-… we’re not even gonna get into that.

Dono: Ranboo we are watching YOUR stream. We don’t have standards to begin with. JK JK

Ranboo: DANG. Oh my god… I don’t know what I wanna say to that. That just made me sad. That just made me ten times sadder. But you guys still need to raise your standards for dating people.

Dono: they hated him because he told them the truth

Ranboo: EXACTLY *clapping* EXACTLY

Dono: it worked for philza

Ranboo: Philza is DIFFERENT. I believe, I may be wrong, that his wife was one of his first viewers so it’s when he was a small Minecraft streamer and not as LAME. And he also played ROCKET LEAGUE. Which is a… WAY COOLER GAME TO SAY.

Dono: all twitch chat know is awooga minecraft streamer and pogchamp

Ranboo: True, true. Guys need to raise your standards, please. Please. I’m begging you guys.

“...we are the losers” Guys. I literally play Minecraft. I’m literally just- YOU GUYS REALIZE WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW!? I’M LITERALLY JUST- “can a doctor MLG I don’t think so” I CAN’T EVEN MLG *yeets off cliff* LOOK AT THAT

Guys just need to raise your standards for people your standards should not be at MINECRAFT STREAMER. You can SETTLE for Minecraft Streamer, okay? You can- you can SETTLE for a Twitch streamer, okay? But you should not be GOING for a Twitch streamer.

You guys can do so much better than Minecraft Streamer.

Dono: ranboo you don’t understand how many men are just bad. All streamers have raised the standards and not a lot of them are nice like you guys

Ranboo: Oh so it’s basic human decency that ya’ll want?

Dono: BUT YOU GUYS HAVE PERSONALITY!!!! AND YALL ARE FREAKISHLY TALL!!!! all I hear is pros and no cons

Ranboo: Personality… And tall. That’s even worse than going for a Minecraft streamer!

Dono: whatever you just said not true king!!

Ranboo: …

Are ya’ll okay? I hope ya’ll are doing okay...

Dono: I think the impressive thing is personality not occupation hence why most people simp over mc youtubers

Ranboo: Well the thing is I only show one part-… eh I’d say I usually act like this I’m a huge- I’m a H U G E idiot, so… no, I do act like this.

Dono: ranboo what if my family already is disappointed in me

Ranboo:… Just… You just dribble around them and- shoot a free throw.

Sorry that was me acting like I’m interested in sports for a little bit. Did not work.

Dono: Wait till you hear some of us s-

Ranboo: NOPE. NOPE. Nope.

Dono:… we don’t go outside and socialize with real people

Ranboo: YEAH so you go MiNeCrAfT sTrEaMeR WOO.

That’s what you guys do. That is what you guys do.

Dono: not my fault ur personality makes u ho-t…

Ranboo: *unintelligible “how the fuck do I even react to that” noises*

CHAT I HAVEN’T EVEN SHOWN MY EYEBROWS.

Thank you so much for the 3 dollars!

Dono: well at least these guys like real people. Ranboo some of us are in love with 2d characters; let them have this

Ranboo: Oh… o h. O h h h…

Dono: @everyone go touch some grass

Ranboo: True TRUE. GUYS. Look at what you’re spamming in chat and then look at what’s on the screen. Think about it.

Okay but in reality though? As long as whoever you choose- it shouldn’t matter what their occupation is, it shouldn’t matter what they look like. All that should matter is that you guys are communicating and that both of you are willing to put love into the relationship like that’s the main thing you know? So just… Just make sure that you’re happy.

^_^

But also…

“But Bo Burnham told us to lower our expectations” NOT THAT FAR.

He was meaning don’t go for someone unrealistically perfect. He didn’t say go for someone realistically terrible.

#ranboo #completely correct mcyt quotes #ranboo spitting facts though /j #I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT #i wonder why :) #dream smp

[feiquacker]

I DEMAND MORE ENDERMAN C!NIKI HEADCANONS (also if u want LH!niki full story its on @redlover411's acc :D)

You asked and you shall resave

c!Niki normal endy man x human hybrid to c!Niki albino endy man x endy man hybrid because you gave me ideas and A

so first let's start with some backstory because we love angst

as we know Niki and Ranboo are siblings in this au. But their mom and fathers left them when they were very young and they ended up having to take care of themselves.

but they somehow ended up taking different ways and spitting up or loosing each other or I don't know what but the first time they saw each other after years of not knowing if the other is still alive was when they first met in canon

and it was all good (instead of the fact that Ranboo didn't know who Schlatt was and didn't recognize Niki at first) :D

So we know that Schlatt loved Niki when he was president. He loved raising her taxes, imprisoning her and just verbally abusing her a lot

I mean it shouldn't shock us to know that c!Schlatt was the one how imprisoned Niki and then threw weakness and damage potions at her because he would. He just would. (also she could teleport out if she had enough energy and he didn't want that)

He never had an enderman as a guest so of course he had to see how potions effect it. He tested poison, damage, slowness all the good stuff on her because science

...and we know that water burns endy man... so Schlatt just trew her in water overnight because she could teleport out if he didn't weaken her enough and tada the water burnt her skin and bones for so long it turned white (from loosing all the colour and pigment) which also made her complete skin white

I mean yes pain and she was unconscious after like 2 hours because of the pain but still. It gave her cronical pain because of all the damage the water did so like... random pain sometimes. yaay fun /j

Also all that water turned her eyes blood-red and they can glow but it also made them even more sensitive to light which is not very nice so now we have an albino Niki endyman.

That's why when Ranboo and Niki met again he did not recognize her. Because he was expecting a black small purple eyed goblin instead of a white small red eyed ball of trauma.

but she still has all the normal endy man traits like painful eye contact and not being able to swim in lava but she can't turn her vision into enderman vision any more because whenever she does it, it's just red instead of purple and AAA no

ruff contact like someone squeezing her arm or shaking her hand too tight is painful because... I don't have to explain it any more don't I

she still has her memory though. she can still recall nearly everything that happened.

It's also easyer for her dye her hair now :D

I should write a ff about this... lol I should but will I is another question haha

#ask #unidentified flying cryptid #niki #niki nihachu #ranboo #dsmp #albino endy niki