#random you are too good for this world im buying you your own planet you deserve it

[festiveferret]

smuggling in furious goats under various pretenses, tearing my heart apart with delicate, elegant angst - the kind that provides you with a handkerchief even as it stabs through your chest -, making every story flow so easily and naturally, writing stories that are full to the brim with wholesome, gorgeous, soothing tenderness

I am now far too sober for this. This is the nicest thing. You’re too kind and lovely and you cured my hangover headache.

#ask ferret #drunk ask meme now too sober for compliments #when I reblogged it #half a bottle of vodka in #I thought people were going to be like lol you're know for FERRETS IN EVENING GOWNS #but then everyone was really nice and drunk me got all smiley and happy #thanks guys #random you are too good for this world im buying you your own planet you deserve it #randomishnickname

[iraniq]

Birthdays be like...

# Thomas Andrew Felton:

/the scene happens in England/

- you woke up early to prepare breakfast

- barely slept the night from excitement

- half way through someome kissed your ear

- "woke up 2h ago to walk Willow, saw all, but thanks for trying"

- "go away, it's a surprise"

- "let me help in then, love!"

- "you can't help in your birthday surprise"

- "watch me"

- ends up helping in his birthday surprise.

- you singing 'ophelia'song to him, incapable to replace it with Tom and still spunds good

- he made thousand videos and pics of you stumbling with the song

- no pancake hit the floor!

- still officially forbidden of giving Willow secret not dog food

- talking about Willow, she came fast when she heard voices

- ending up making dog friendly pancake

- flipping it right on her face /was already cooled/

- Tom got it all on video

- "look now, oh hi Willow, catch"

- "did you just flipped the pancake to fall on her face?"

- before you can say yes, there was no physical memory of the pancake

- watching cartoons on the couch

- "looks like someone is sleepy"

- "nooooo"

- "well if you hadn't stayed till 2 in the morning last night..."

- "was excited for your birthday"

- "and you said it like thousand times"

- "i am excited for birthdays, and yours is a special one"

- forhead kissed

- he muttes something that endes with 'love', but tight hugs and stroking hair, is one way ticket to dreamland

- bonus: Willow is a warm pillow on your lap

- afternoon long walks

- laughter

- singing on the streets

- silly pics

- pillow fight at home

- Willow stole yet another one

- "Willow's pillow fortress is getying bigger"

- "because you can't say no to your child, and instead taking them from her, you keep on buying new ones"

- fancy, low key filthy sexy looking dress for dinner

- a comedy movie no one watched...

- ... because pillow war revange

- and somewome had to keep an eye on popcorn

- food thief detected

- sloberly kisses and yet another pillow missing

- "just jump in the pool with the dress, love"

- drying hairs in the midle of the night

- matching pajamas

- Willow at board

- "your child just stole my sock"

- "she is your child now too..." - halj asleep deep british voice

- "ok, then, our child, just stole my sock"

- more forhead kissed and love mumbles

- snuggles

- "will meet you im dreamland"

# Erich Blunt:

*Ok we have all seen the tik tok - "take your clothes off" and how the girl spits her drink, and we all reacted like that*

- after midnifgt visit at the big house

- you have a special 'multipass' key card

- wake him up at 12:02 with *coughs* love

- everywhere

- i mean everywhere

- possible

- in the house

- then maybe at 5 o'clock in the company

- the boss chair, that's unfortunately a super normal one, because he refused to have fancy cabibet

- in the virtual relity room

- junk food at the sunrise on a super random place

- naps in the big, too fancy for naps, bed

- mid afternoon flight to a dessert rave party

- yes... plain checked

- matching outfits at the party

- the looks he gives you

- yes... at some random spots in the crowd

- his poker face is out of this world

- stargazing and hand holding

- tents at feativals are not soun proof...

- both umable to human the next day, dozzing off in the plane

# Julian Albert Desmond:

- a workoholic, scientist, perfectionist... with a metahuman bad experience inside his head... He could tell by the air in the room, something was off...

- a surprise was way beyond imaginable

- imagine everybody's faces when you casualy dropped at the station, introducing yourself

- "she is a spy" - Cisco said

- "Julian mentioned he had a girldriend...but i thought it was just for the excuse" - Barry said

- "nope, alive and in the flesh"

- you announced his upcoming birthday in a week and asked for help

- they were all instantly in

- same day, Barry got 'late'

- the captain gave them a case in the far abandoned aide of town, Caitlin was in the car with him, non stop talking, how Ciaco and HR are unbarable. Iris and Barry...

- he wasn't paying attention at this point

- the building looked suapicious

- they entered, only to see the whole Team Flash, including Dr. Wells and Jessie, holding a cake, with this so familiar red sugar you have been buying lately

- he knew your surprise will pop up eventually

- you knew he was late after work, no more metahumans hate, but you nevwr poked the subject

- "no one told her" - Barry reasured

- "she is overworking today, and instructed us, quoting 'get his ass the cake, or i will end you!', she is scary for a librarian" - Iris noted

- "she certanly is"

- all laugh

- "candles blowing in abandoned and possibly dangeroys area, great"

- all laughing again

- *insert Julian's sarcastic remarcs*

- "people skills, Julian"

- A fot Ain't even trying at this point

- afterwork party at the park

- Julian being soft

- Caitlin being low key jealous

- romantic dances under the stars

- you wearing a long mid transparent nightgown and his "explorer hat"

- *insert adult content here*

# Logan Maine:

*AU where they woke up the passangers a week before artiving at Thea, notjing hit the ship*

/haven't yet finished the tv series, so some info might not be true/

- after Mia, Logan didn't plan on having friends, or being close to someone

- not that he planned to befrend Mia...

- aftee several days of you being sweet carring and maybe a bit rude, and an epileptic episode later, he was tolerating you

- maybe more than toleraring, but he wasn't gonna admit it

- he was astonishing cook to start with

- you tried making cake, when you found out

- failed!

- but the unhealthy ammount of chocolate syrop on it, fixed it

- him dipping fries in the chocilate...

- *Logan what?!*

- walking around the 'garden'

- him pushing you towards the spraying water

- trying to name the plants only to end up with: "if it's not weed..." - he laughed

- "you are failing at being horrible"

- "trying to be, but that smile of yours isn't helping"

- marker writing on the station windows, connecting stars in odd shapes

- sneaking on others

- "is Baum a perv, or just a perv"

- "Shun and Lana are totally a thing"

- low key stealing extra pills for his epilepsy

- who'll suspect the cool sweet kid's teacher

- stealing food from your supervisor's cabim, after you went asking her, what Logan liked, so you can make a romantic dinner

- she didn't gave you much info, but the odd plastic half liquid sweets you stole definwtly tasted good

- "the A woman stealing? Your crush on me is ruining your good name"

- "maybe i am tired of a good name"

- "don't tell me you go to another planet to be a criminal"

- "lools like i might have the best teacher"

- "only om small crimes, like stealing a pretty girl's heart"

- his odd winks

- that smirk

- kisses in the dark

- he "found" some extra blankets

- 2 burritos on a way after midnight open space gazing

- Shun may have cought you drawing the odd funny shapes, but told no one - you were holding hands, giggling drawing one ovee another, was way too cute to tell on

# Draco Lucius Malfoy:

/Around 6th-ish year maybe.../

- how you pick a present for someone who has everything, literally everuthing

- bargins with Pansy for info

- Theo gives it all free

- Blaize asked for unknown favor

- no one actually gave you smth to work with

- Draco was bitter

- even the good fight with Potter didn't lift his spirit

- nor the -10 points

- you even owled Narcisaa, but nothing

- difficult problems require simple solution

- his favourire clothes of yours

- your Gucci pefulme on his scarf

- this beyond ordenary way you bite off from his green apple

- the thing with the shy eyes and devil smile you love pulling on him

- touching his hair

- scratching his hands with your long nails gives him the good chills

- changing in that gorgeous emerald green dress he bought you for the Christmas ball

- pinky hand holding

- getting cold, so he can give you his coat

- him and his long coat

- messy pearl hair

- stolen kissed under his tree

- brushing your nose in his cheek

- teasing each other

- in your own bubble in aftwenoon class

- again -10 points... each

- professor Lupin felt the pain of ceperating the lovely sight you were, so he can continue his lesson

- party at the boy's bedroom

- eating the cake his mom send you, instead of dinner

- whole friends group having pure childish fun, sharing silly stories

- levitating around in pretend swim manner

- cake

- *coughs* wine *cougs*

- late night walk to the astronomy tower

- him showing you the stars

- the Dragon again, because you can never place it right

- him knowing you pretend not to know, so he can have an excuse to give you silly shoulder kisses

- you tip toeing to reach him

- passionate kisses under the stars

______________

@diyunho @lovermrjokerr @darthjokerisyourfather @littlebeautifly

Whoever enjoys it as well 😛

#birthday story #tom felton #thomas andrew felton #erich blunt #murder in the first #julian albert #julian albert desmond #the flash #logan mine #origin 2018 #draco malfoy #draco lucius malfoy #harry potter

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: A Poor Bird

Also on AO3! (if you recognise the au it might be because I started a full fic which i abandoned because i realised a full canon retelling is l o n g. i’ll still probably write bits and pieces like the other AUs) 

TL;DR:  Izuku isn't quirkless. Not that Inko would ever let you know that.

AKA: Good dad Enji, bad mum Inko

TW: Child Abuse

Inko Quirk: Attraction of small objects Issues:

Many

Soooooooo many

Hisashi  Quirk: All for one

Izuku Quirk: Push and Pull

Allows him to push objects away from him, or pull objects towards him.

If the object is heavier than him, the force acts on him instead

Injuries

Crush injures on the hand, never healed correctly

Limited range of movement + tremors

Issues

Feels horrifically ill if he uses his quirk, has flashbacks. Cant use it at all until he is trained by allmight

Can't remember his mother hurting him outside of flashbacks and nightmares. Only knows it happened bc katsuki can remind him

PTSD

Dislikes: Being called "cute" or being implied to be helpless but he can suck it up if hes not feeling too shitty.

Enji 47

First-year in All Might's final year.

Met Rei when he first reached the top ten, aged 22 and married her a year later, with fuyumi on the way just a quickly

Knows ab. All Mights other form

Rei 48

Does ballet!

Shouto 15

No scar

Yet, anyway. We can fix that.

Touya 19 Changes

A little less crispy fried, still scarred by his own quirk. Wears gold contacts undercover as Dabi

Natsuo

21

Studying Medicine

Fuyumi

23

She's a teacher!

Mushy Stuff feat. The Todoroki’s

enji is still number 2 hero. hes actually really nice? he just has a major case of resting bitch face. hes from a rich family, he got dragged out to a ballet to celebrate his becoming number 2 and he was whining we hes like, 21 and doesnt wanna see a ballet he just wants to go to work, or get drinks with his sidekicks. hes being a bit of a grump and his parents are living for their grumpy son bc he still has Round cheeks and hes adorable

anyway its been like, 20 minutes and the show finally starts and enji is like "god i can go home after this and s l e e p" but like, the lady comes out on stage and hes in love. tall, white hair and incredibly graceful. his mum has to hit him bc hes blushing so hard hes getting uncomfortably warm

after the show he like, breaks into her dressing room. hes got his hands clamped over his eye and he like "oh my god im so sorry if you are changing i promise im not looking i just have somewhere to be after this but please what do i have to do to get you to agree to go to dinner with me"

and rei is r e d bc the grouchy number 2 hero has burst into her dressing room and hes bright red and his hair is smouldering slightly and she just laughs and pulls his hands away from his eyes and tells him she'd love to. enji just walks out, faintly dazed with rei's number on his phone and hes so ridiculously happy he cant stop his hair from smoking

anyway, they date, they get married etc

but rei's ballet company is threatening to drop her if she has kids bc she wont be "perfect" anymore and she's torn up about it bc enji started dating her because of ballet and what if he hates her? but enji is like ",,, i kinda,,, love you? plus you and our hypothetical kids with be gods gift to this earth. i will buy you a whole ballet company if i have to"and shes crying and everything is soft

she has fuyumi and she is the worlds most perfect baby and enji is the most protective dad on this planet

then she has dabi bc she wanted fuyumi to have a sibling and dabi is born w his quirk and sneezes embers and enji is crying because his son is perfect

and then they have another kid bc they are sickeningly in love and their children are all wonderful and they have natsuo who likes to eat not food things and rei loves her chunky toddler. enji is crying because "hes gonna be such a big strong man" and also because natsuo keeps trying to eat his flaming beard

and then they have shouto bc "fuck it more children” hes born and rei is crying bc "look he looks just like you enji!" and enji is crying because "rei he looks just like you,,," and fuyumi is crying bc she has another little brother, dabi is trying not to cry bc hes a big strong 5 yearold and natsuo is like,,, 3 and hes trying to est his baby brothers hair and hes perfect

also!!! dabi is a double agent. he loves his dad v much and is pretending to be a villain to keep him and the rest of his family safe

enjis that dad that’s so fucking embarrassing and he does it on purpose?? during the sports festival he’s in his seat and he’s just “sHOUTOOOO” everyone turns and they’re just ???? todoroki s bright red but he’s yelling back

“wHAT”

endeavour, making a lil heart with his hands: “i love you and i’m very proud of you ♥️”

hi please enji sending photos of his kids to allmight all the time. all might fucking adores these little children and sends them so much random merch bc they are so fucking cute. he holds natsuo who’s trying to eat his weird bunny ear hair and he’s just

i love,,,these kids,,,

natsuo is a Chunky Boy. hes a toddler with the density of lead, hes so fucking heavy and round and allmight adores him. shouto looks at you judgingly even as a baby and allmight feels personally attacked

Pre canon + Training arc

in this au, izuku has a stronger version of his mothers quirk. like, really good telekinesis and he wants to be a hero! she hits him if he uses his quirk, makes him say hes quirkless and weak, says she just wants to protect him. she withholds food to keep him "perfect" because

"your father ruined me, now im all covered in ugly stretch marks and im disgusting, but ill make you perfect"

inko makes izuku wear feminine clothes and keep his hair long bc shes kinda trying to make him into like, the perfect version of her? and she always threatens to scrub izukus "fathers" freckles off his face with steel wool

shes ,,, conflicted about Katsuki

(katsuki knows something is up w inko and izuku so hes not terrible)

because she doesnt want her "perfect" sweet son to become brash like Katsuki but she kinda,,, likes her son being the damsel in distress that has to be saved by his stronger friend? and thinks that if izuku has a guard he won't need to be strong himself if they play in her house, inko is the villain, katsuki is the hero and izuku has to be the hostage that needs to be saved.

izuku tells katsuki about his quirk one day and he mentions it in front of inko. katsuki is almost thrown out of the house and he can hear izuku screaming from inside, and hes trying to get through the door bc his friend his crying and its not his fault. he stays there with this ear pressed against the door for hours. izuku stops crying after 45 minutes, inko starts saying shes sorry after 3 hours

inko crushed her son's hands

inko needs her hands for her quirk to work and assumes izuku does too? So she methodically crushes every finger and his wrists to try to ruin his ability to use his quirk. izukus hands heal but he cant write without it hurting and that makes him really upset bc he loves to draw. its the only thing that his mum lets him do that he enjoys. inko says sorry but she still blames him

"im sorry it hurt honey but mummy had to do it, you understand right?"

from that day forward katsuki starts training to be a hero bc he doesnt want anyone getting hurt like izuku ever again. he helps izuku train too in secret, they work together to lie because izuku wants to he a hero, and if he can survive his mother? he can do anything.

after that time w inko he cant use his quirk. like, physically? he can, but he has panic attacks and freezes up if he tries. basically izuku gets bullied for being quirkless, but not by Katsuki

ep 1 happen kind like normal. izuku asks "can i be a hero without a quirk?" allmight says no but he manages to use his quirk to save katsuki and katsuki hugs him as he cries, izuku pulls katsuki from the sludge villain w his quirk, allmight saves the day

the heroes are like, 2 secs from scolding izuku for using his quirk but the boy is having a horrific panic attack and they would feel bad ab it. also katsuki looks like hes gonna commit real actual murder if someone so much as touches izuku so they awkwardly walk away

allmight confronts izuku ab. the whole "i though you were quirkless" thing and izuku has another panic attack and all might feels terrible izuku is basically apologising for having a quirk??? that that sits really badly w toshi so he asks izuku if he can help him and katsuki train to be heroes and izuku cries and says yes

izuku looks at the time and starts crying again and allmight is like??? did i do something wrong???

izuku is sobbing that he doesnt wanna go home because "she'll be so angry" and toshi is like,,, holy shit im just gonna steal this child i guess but izuku convinces him hes overacting and izuku runs home, after toshi gives him his phone number and stresses that izuku is allowed to call even for "stupid" reasons

mitsuki is confused that katsuki looks so worried hes like,, pacing and he keeps sticking his head outside to look over the balcony to the street and checking his phone bc izuku hasnt told him what happened yet and hes scared that inko finally snapped and hurt him too badly to recover from

inko??? wasnt happy

shes beating izuku with heavy stuff and asking him if he thinks shes a terrible mother or something. izuku is crying because hes sorry and he didnt mean to use his quirk he was just scared. inko starts crying and is patching him up and says that she only hurts him because she loves him and wants him to be happy and perfect . izuku doesnt get food for 2 days after that, he has to sneak out to train w katsuki and all might. all might actually asks katsuki ab. it

"his mother is fucking crazy. my mum doesnt believe me but shes batty. lost it when her husband left and is trying to keep izuku like a fucking doll, its creepy"

izuku tends to wear gloves of long sleeves, or draws over his hands bc they are c o v e r e d in scares. on a particularly bad training day izuku cant hold his water bottle and he cant stop himself tearing up so katsuki holds the bottom for it and izuku is so embarrased and gratful and all might wants to cry because who hurt this kid???

like,, three? months into the training izuku comes up to all might and the kid is shaking and pale but he looks so determined and he says in the softest voice "i want to start training my quirk" and all might smiles like the sun

Entrance Exam

So allmight has already given his quirk to Mirio, he and nighteye made up. Hes out heroing, saves izuku from the sludge villain, Izuku doesn’t cling on but there is something ab the way Izuku looks at him that worries allmight so he stays to answer his question and runs out of time. Izuku asks if he can be a hero w/o a quirk, allmight hesitates. Izuku just quietly says "its ok, thank you for your time" and leaves. All might feels terrible.

He realises the sludge villain is gone, curses and runs towards the explosions. Izuku is wandering around trying to find Katsuki and sees the sludge villain has him. W/o wasting a moment he runs towards him, trying to pull him free. He uses his quirk to pull him out by the shirt and stands infront of katsuki to try to keep him safe. Allmgiht rushes in to help.

The heroes try to tell Izuku off but katsuki just yells at them and they hurry away. They run into Yagi and he tries to talk to Izuku but katsuki just yells at him. Allmight explains his form thing and tells izuku he can totally be a hero but oh hey werent you quirkless?

Katsuki is ab. To rip Allmights head off, izuku just explains he doesn’t much like his quirk. All might asks if he can help train the two of them to be heroes and they agree 100%. Izuku has to run home and leaves Katsuki w allmight. Katsuki tells him he'll need to look after Izuku and walks off in the same direction. Allmight is l o s t

Izuku gets beaten byhis mother for using his quirk, sneaks out to train with yagi and katsuki. Yagi is worried but there isnt much he can do. Mirio and Sir show up sometimes to chat w allmight and help training, All might admits hes going into teaching bc hes going to have to retire soon and Izuku tells him he'll be amazing at it, katsuki just roasts allmight

Day of the entrance exam mirio wishes them both good luck .

Izuku has told his mother hes taking the gen-ed written exam and has permission to go get food with katsuki afterwards. He has applied for gen-ed and the hero course and honestly doesn’t believe he'll get into heroics but he has to try.

Someone pushes him, Occhako catches him, they all say hello and enter the written exam hall. Izuku finds it easy as pie so hes honestly kinda worried that hes missing something (hes not, hes just smart). There is a moral dilema at the end of the test and he answers it in a way that concerns the markers (in a self esteem kinda way)

So they enter the auditorium and and izuku finds out he isnt in katsukis arena which makes im panic, but he tells him to suck it up because hes a grown as teenager and can handle himself which cheers izuku up. Iida calls them out for talking.

At the arena hes having a quiet breakdown, sees ochako and lights up, goes to talk to her but Iida tells him off for being a trouble maker. Someone in the crowd snidly asks "when did they start letting 12-year-old girls take the exam" and izuku feels like dirt. Mic calls start and his fight/flight is so overreactive he throws himself straight into the exam

Pulling rubble and crap w great force through the robots, he gets around 20 points? But after a while he just shuts down. He feels sick and he hates his quirk and his mother and his hnds ache and he just c a n t do it anymore.

Aizawa watches this kid in arena 4 crumple to the ground and he spares a moment to be sad for the kid. He looked promising, but its not the first time someone has cracked under the pressure durring the entrance exam. He sees allmgiht looking saddened out of the corner of his eye, locked on the screen, and thinks maybe this kid is why he asked to be excluded from the judging team.

Izuku sees the zero pointer and cant even bring himself to run away. But then he hears ochako cry out and instantly sprints towards her.

He pulls himself into the air and pulls as many shards of scrap metal and rebar as he can, and pulls them with all his might through the 0 pointer, turning into a giant pincusion. He runs out of energy, and just lets himself fall.

Aizawa feels his heart sink bc the kid is smiling.

Ochako saves him at the last moment, and hes miraculously uninjured but so out of energy he can barely stand. Recovery girl hands him gummies which he gratefully accepts and drags himself out of the exam. He meets katsuki by the entrance. He sees his tiny mess of a friend, pale and shakey but smiles and he picks him up and hugs him even though he will deny it till the day he dies. izuku is sure he failed but for one moment, using his quirk? he just felt so complete and free that he doesnt mind if he fails, just because he got to enjoy that one moment. bakugo tells izuku that hes gonna drag him into the hero course by his hair and izuku giggles

They go get food bc they need some relief.

Izuku doesn’t think he's in the heroics department but is hopeful anyway.

he and bakugo spend the week waiting for their letters "studying" for ua (aka, designing hero costumes, coming up with names, planning the fuck out of everything bc they are both crazy nervous and will never admit it)

inko hands izuku his mail and izuku is so nervous because if she looked? its game over but she just smiles happily and tells him to tell her if he got into gen ed. or not so they can invite the bakugo's over to celebrate

izuku walks calmly until his mum is out of sight, then he tears down the hall, stuffs a towel under the door and opens his letter under his blankets so she cant hear it. its allmgiht on the screen and he cries.

and he got in and he cries some more

and then he has a quick panic attack becuase holy shit this is a lot of lies hes going to have to spin because he came first in the entrance exam. his mum asks him if he got in and hes so grateful that his voice doesnt shake when he cries, as he says back "i got into gen. ed mum!!"

He finds out he got in and he starts to panic bc what is he going to tell his mum? Some point later Inko yells at him for just sitting around so he runs out of the house and to a cat café, and hes just sobbing because his face hurts from where she slapped him and he just wants to get out of the rain.

Shinso sees this kid, curses his heroic instincts and pays for 2 hours for him and the mystery kid. He just wanted to wallow in self pity for failing the exam he knew he was going to fail, but now hes got a crying kid to deal with

So turns out the kid is his age and is called Midoriya. As only izuku can do, hes shinso spilling his guts ab the hero course and his quirk in around 20 minutes. Izuku explains a bit about what his mother did to him, and that he got into the hero course but if his mother finds out hes scared shitless of what she'll do.

Shinsou’s family before Aizawa was shit, he gets it. And he sees this cute green-haired sobbing kid gently kiss a fat tabby on the top of its little head and decides he'd die for him.

They plot that they'll change shirts at the start of the day so inko doesn’t see the hero course shirt, and shinso will quickly tell him what they were doing in gen ed on the train home. Shinso does urge izuku to get help but izuku declines. His mother is sick and she's trying her best. She still loves him. Izuku is scared of who his dad is.

And it's not like anyone ever believed his soft, kind-looking mother could hurt her own son.

First day + Quirk Apprehension Test

Inasa is a recommendation student, along with Momo and Todoroki, was placed in Aizawa class bc his quirk is kinda wack.

Class does not contain Hagekure, Mineta is expelled

like, first day of school shinso is waiting down the road for izuku and bakugo is like,,, ha????? and shinso is like "oK So i have the hero course shirt, change behind a tree like a bunch of weirdos or wait for school" and izuku is like,,, “as much as my anxiety wants to change now so we wont be late i think kacchan might murder us if we change behind a tree" and bakugo is like??? "YeaH and WHO ARE YOU EXACTLY"

anyway! they take the bus and shinso explains that the bonded over a chubby tabby and that hes agreed to be izuku alibi and katsuki looks him up and down like ",,, you pass" and izuku giggles and shinso feels happy bc he didnt know the boy could giggle and its such a soft noise

anyway, izuku and shinso sprint into school to find a bathroom to change in, izuku tries not to cry on his hero shirt. they then proceed to speed walk to the correct class bc the other students have shown up and they dont wanna get yelled at. katsuki told izuku he could walk himself to class because "youre a big boy now" and izuku laughs again

izukus anxiety vs trauma is a continuous war bc anxiety says "hide behind friends" but trauma says "dont be weak and pathetic like inko says you are or shes been right the whole time"

izuku gets into class, bakugo is busy trying to scare iida bc iida is Really Getting On His Nerves. iida says hi to izuku and izuku almost cries before iida says that he was sorry for being a dick and then izuku almost cries again but bc hes happy

ochako bursts in like "OH MY GOD THE CUTE ONE GOT IN" and izuku is Red and like (a lil trauma but he shoves that way deep down) and says hi. aizawa crawls in and scares the actual shit out of everyone but izuku finds him super calming? bc hes just so fucking blunt and he doesnt have to look for double meanings

anyway, izuku gets called up to do the throw bc he came first and hearing aizawa say "use your quirk" made a cold sweat run through him but bakugo gave him a thumbs up so he felt a little better. The boy gets a crazy score. izuku gets a great score on all the stuff he can use his quirk for, but hes got terrible stamina/strength bc hes just so thin. hes placing like, first quarter of the class

so they finish, mineta gets kicked out

allmight is watching from behind a bush bc look at his boys go!!! his yelly boy and his crying boy!!. aizawa holds izuku back at the end of class, bakugo doesnt wanna leave him but tenya pushes him to the locker room

"so kid. thats a great quirk youve got there"

and izuku,,, really doesnt like talking about his quirk. he doesn't like using it. he and bakugo drew vines on his hands this morning to cover up the scars and hes tracing his fingers along them to keep himself from shaking.

aizawa looks him dead in the eye

"mind telling me why you are registered as quirkless?"

and izuku freezes. he cant breathe.

aizawa is waiting and his irritation turns to alarm when he realizes the kid i s n t m o v i n g. all might has seen izuku freak out before so he swoops in and sits izuku down on the ground and tries to get the kid to breath. he does but hes still shaking and all he'll stay is "im sorry" and "not again"

aizawa is very much shaken because izuku seemed pretty normal? then he remembered the kid shinso was talking about. allmight calls bakugo who runs back out onto the field, half in uniform and half in costume and hes trying to calm izuku down and he looks like,,, 2 seconds away from ripping aizawa head off and aizawa honestly thinks hes kinda deserves it lmao

its nearing the end of school and izuku isnt even down from his panic attack yet but bakugo n e e d s shinso to get over here so they can swap shirts or izuku is going to be in even more trouble than he already is. so bakugo is trying to get izuku to respond to anything, allmight has his hand on his not sons shoulder, aizawa feels like a piece of shit, and bakugo is trying to find shinso's contact number in izuku's phone

some of class a goes to look outside and aizawa lays into the and tells them to hurry up to class or he'll expell them all with mineta

anyway shinso comes running out bc his teacher is mic and is willing to let him do dumb stuff and shinso is like??? dad its been 1 day what did you do to the cat kiss boy?? shinso allmight and bakugo get izuku responsive enough that bakugo takes him to swap his shirts in the changing rooms and helps izuku clean up so its not obvious he was crying. shinso gets izukus stuff from his classroom. aizawa just turns to all might

“ok so what the fuck was that"

all might honestly shrugs "i barely know myself. kid has serious quirk trauma and is scared of his mother, thats all i can tell you" and aizawa is both concerned and annoyed bc ofcourse thsi si in his class

izuku and bakugo get home, alls good

Battle Trial

battle trial! its,,a ride

basically! izuku has his lil costume and ochako tells him he looks really cute and hes grateful + trauma. bakugo tells him he looks like hes ready to bust some heads which makes him feel better. todoroki is with iida on the villain team

they are chatting happily about have hero families and being melodramatic about being evil

Izuku is paired with inasa!

so izuku cant directly use his quirk on himself, but he can "push" against the ground, which sends him up. its useful for dodging but not sustainable

anyway, they work out that inasa's wind doesnt effect izukus telekinesis

basically:

izuku makes some dust, they roll in, todoroki is out and looking for them. he torches the dust but gets hit by a pebble to the temple. inasa is like, 100% impressed. they wrap todoroki up and inasa says sorry to his half/half bro. todoroki shrugs. bakugo is like, internally cheering and he has the most murderous smile

anyway, iida is melodramatic, inasa looses it laughing bc hes so funny and takes a big ol kick to the face. hes down, probs concussed but iida cant get in to tie him up because he almost gets squished by the currently moving bomb bc its paper mache its light and easy for izuku to pull on

iida decides he should probably take down izuku before anything happens, but at the last moment izuku pushes off the ground, dodging over iida and lightly tapping the bomb

hero team wins!!!

inasa and todoroki are both concussed which is awkward but its all g. izuku gets MVP but iida was a close second. bakugo like, friendly punches izuku in the arm and hes hiding behind bakugo bc people are looking at him but hes very happy

someone says "wow, your quirk is amazing" and hes like,,, "oh there goes my good mood." allmight and bakugo are about to tell this kid to shut the fuck up but get beaten to it by a concussed todoroki of all people

"its not the quirk its how he uses it you overipe melon"

izuku giggles until he cant breathe and bakugo is cackling. concussed todoroki looks so pleased with himsel

bakugo and kiri are teams up and they kick actual ass as the villains. like, crazy good, they take out the heroes and dont even have to let it run over time

because "if we win? we do it right."

izuku is like doing these little happy bounces and inasa is crying bc his partner is so pure

izuku and shinso meet up, change, go home

U.S.J.

Happens like 3 weeks in, not 3 days in. They need time to bond ok. Before the trip we get some general hyjinks.

the next day, its field trip time baby!!!

inasa makes izuku sit with him and todoroki and its a tight fucking fit bc they are sharing 2 seats. inasa has like,,, claimed this boy because he was so soft and izuku has a friend!! and hes very happy. hes like,, a little scared of todoroki but also kinda loves him for the overripe melon comment so

Kurogiri yeets the villains into the usj. allmight is out of time, aizawa runs in like normal. inasa, izuku and tsuyu get sent to the shipwreck zone. they do some cool shit honestly. inasa holds the 3 of them in the air, tsuyu hold the villains together as izuku yeets them into the hull of the ship and seals the hold and hopes the villains dont really care enough to break a hole in the ship. Inasa gets them all to shore

then they get to witness the nomu and izuku sees the punch thrown? and he moves without thinking, using all of his quirk he can to hold to nomus fist back. after he moves, inasa joins in, pushing the nomu back as much as the can. aizawa punches shigiraki and he gets m a d. shigiraki breaks the capture weapon and sends the nomu after tsuyu. inasa, who was closer, pushes her out of the way and takes the hit. its just like, 1 blow? but hes down to the count. aizawa tells tsuyu to take him and run

izuku wants to throw up

aizawa tries to get him to run but the nomu charges again and izuku has to pull aizawa out of the way. all they can do is play keep-away and aizawa is frustrated because no matter the training he has, he can't stand up to this thing. all he can do is rely on izuku's quirk, because the quirk can move faster than a human can. shigiraki gets sick of this, kurogiri uses momentum to send aizawa to the other side of the usj with kiri and Bakugo. they begin to run back to the plaza. izuku is scared, slips up, takes a hit. hes down, with broken ribs and his quirk is nearing overuse

shigiraki sees this kid's broken hands, laughs and makes the nomu crush them again

bakugo blasts in, grabs izuku. todoroki has the nomu trapped in ice, aizawa wraps izukus hands with what he was left of his capture weapon

all might bursts in. he has more of his quirk left bc he hasnt passed it on yet, takes out the nomu and has enough strength to still be standing. shigiraki goes to attack, and izuku basically uses the last of his strength to pull allmight towards him, then he collapses

the other heroes arrive with endeavour! because he was patrolling nearby and got the alert. is his agency in hosu? Yep! do i care? nope hes here to see his son!

aizawa is like, moossttlylyy ok? shigiraki got to his arm and he's got scrapes and sprains from being yeeted around by izuku's quirk but he's pretty ok. inasa has a punctured lung but is stabilized quickly. izukus bones arent fractured? but hes got a pretty bad crush injury to both hands + cracked ribs and low blood sugar. bakugo rides w him back to ua

shinso is there and hes a little panicky bc his dad and bro were in a villain attack. nezu comes into recovery girls office and is like "oh its ok! ive contacted everyone’s parents and they should be here soon" and bakugo is like "YOU DID WHAT"

nezu sweating ",,, what do you mean this is what im ment to do"

and allmight cringes; aizawa, on painkillers, is like, pretty concerned; bakugo is enraged. izuku isnt breathing. hes frozen, crying silently and hes perfectly still and it breaks recovery girls heart

hes got a big bruise of the side of his face, fyi

bakugo doesnt want to leave but recovery girl orders him out, all might gets made to leave as well. soon the only people left are inasa (unconscious) izuku (catatonic) and aizawa (guilty)

inko walks in. shes smiling. she grabs izuku by the hand, "its ok honey, mummy's here now!"and aizawa?? hes trying not to judge but he gets a terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach. inko pulls izuku from the bed by his crushed hand and izuku is silent. she has a hand wrapped around the back of his neck as she leads him out of the school

bakugo is at home and hes begging his mother to let him see izuku bur his mother wont let him because inko has been through something stressful and doesnt need you yelling! and bakugo is angry because shes never believed him about inko. he throws his plate against the wall and looks mitsuki dead in the eyes

"you'll regret that tomorrow. you'll regret that when you see what shes done to him"

his door slams

the day after the usj zuku isnt in school. shinso is waiting at the end of his street but only bakugo shows up. he looks defeated

"lets just go"

shinso spends the whole day in the hero course shirt

aizawa isnt surprized, loads of kids didnt show up to school the day after the usj, even non-hero kids, but then izuku isnt there the next day. bakugo is pacing, tugging at his hair as he waits for aizawa to show up. inasa looks lost, todoroki looks faintly confused, shinso is in the classroom, didnt leave to go to his own because bakugo doesnt know where midoriya is and hes waiting for aizawa

aizawa walks in with the bell. no izuku. his heart sinks. He looks around, and walks straight back out of class, sends mic to cover for him. he tells nezu. nezu has a terrible feeling and asks him and allmight to perform a wellness check. allmight uses his hero form, even though he doesnt have much time to waste, because this isnt a waste

they arrive at inkos house, they knock and she opens the door. shes smiling and asks if they would like to sit down, if they want some tea. there is blood under her fingernails

aizawa aks to use the bathroom, sneaks into midoriyas room. the kid is locked to the bed in the dark and aizawa wants to throw up bc he can smell blood and infection

inko took steel wool and scrubbed "off" every bruise on midoriya's skin to make him "clean" again

every mark

every cut

his hands are, oddly, untouched with their horrible crush marks healed by recovery girl as priority, but the side of his face, his ribs cage, the cuts on his arms and legs and back are raw. no skin, sticky blood dripping onto the sheets. aizawa goes over to izuku and he honestly smells like rotting meat because his room is hot and he has massive open injuries that are super infected. he tries to shake izuku awake and realizes the kid is burning. izuku fliches and is trying to pull away from aizawa, opening cuts and pulling at his wounds. hes so quiet aizawa wants to cry. he gently pats izukus hair and tells him he'll be safe now

hes walks out of the room and throws inko from the couch onto the floor, cuffing her. allmight is shocked, inko is screaming. aizawa cuffs inko to a couch and drags all might into izukus room and all might wants to cry

because, something aizawa hadn't noticed, every single piece of hero merch izuku owned has been ripped from its hiding place and crushed and torn on the floor. all might oh so gently breaks the cuffs holding into down and gently, gently picks him up. he cant stop the tears

izuku lets out the softest "im so sorry sensei" and aizawa has to leave the room. he sucker punches inko, calls nezu and an ambulance. inko is, thank god, unconscious now and the house is so quiet

so quiet aizawa can hear all might crying

mitsuki runs in bc she thinks her tiny friend is getting hurt and she sees her sons teacher sitting with his head between his legs on the floor like hes trying not to cry. he just points and she sees the number 1 hero holding this red and broken boy and she screams. she has to run back out to throw up into the kitchen sink

she calls Katsuki. hes sitting in class, most of the class is pacing or doodling, or chatting. mic doesn't have the heart to try and teach them but he also isn't cleared to tell them whats going on because he doesnt know

bakugos phone rings and the kid tears open his bag. all mistuki says it "im so sorry" and bakugo throws his phone into the wall so hard it shatters

mic like, yells bc a kid just shattered his phone and bakugo leaps over his desk to get to the door. mic grabs him by the collar

"hey listener? what do you think you're doing?"

bakugo is white and clammy

"let go." "listener?" "let. go."

mic drops him and bakugo tears down the hall, he kicks open shinsou's door and hauls him out of the room. midnight tries to stop him but bakugo is basically already off school grounds. shinso doesn't even need to ask, he can guess

they are running as fast as the can, faster than either of them have ever run. they don't even bother with the stairs, bakugo uses his quirk to haul them both up the side. bakugo and shinsou try to run in but aizawa just grabs them and pulls them close, he won't let them pass. aizawa isn't even angry but he won't let go of them, like hes scared someone will hurt another of his students, mitsuki drags Bakugo to her side and just holds him like she used to when he got hurt them he was little. the house is silent other than random crying, sirens in the distance

the ambulance comes and they come to take izuku but all might doesn't want to let go of this kid he's failed so badly, so he gently carries him all the way down and lays him on the stretcher. there is blood caked on his suit jacket

ok so as an fyi? izukus injuries arent terrible but hes missing a lot of skin. still has cracked ribs, has a serious infection and is critically dehydrated from fluid loss due to lost skin, plus the fact he hasn't been given food or water for 2 days

it's not the injuries that are the problem, its the dehydration/fever

1A is shaken. mic is shaken and 20 minutes after bakugo runs out? nezu announces that classes have been cancelled for the day and that students may remain on campus if they have no other way home and mic??? the guy is shaken. his husband is missing, all might left, nemuri says bakugo took shinso too

mic has to tell the class school is cancelled, 1 hour into the day but he can't tell them why because he doesn't know. momo, uraraka and kouda just kinda, start to cry bc they can feel something terrible has happened

todoroki invites everyone over to his house until school would have normally ended. they get over to shoutos house and hes like "so,,, you all wanna know whats happened right?" and he gets a bunch of silent nods. he just kinda, says a preemptive sorry to the pic of his dad on the wall and breaks open his hero office door. 1A is crowded around the computer as shouto, momo and tenya are scanning for anything in alerts and shouto stops and points

"minimal security transport and medical assistance to mustutafu, rapid response requested."

they click on it

Heroes Responding: Eraserhead (underground), All Might Civilian Involvement: 2 Adults (stable, no medical response) 3 Children (2 stable, 1 unknown. medical response requested) Villain: N/A Alert Type: Domestic Violence

tenya has to walk away. so does inasa and todoroki

Endeavour storms in bc "shouto, why did you break into my personal office-" and he sees these kids and they looks broken and his son just clings to him. he feels his heart drop, because he doesnt know whats happened, but its not fucking good

w recovery girl + iv fluids and antibiotics, izuku heals up pretty quick but hes got some big scars. shallow but red and angry looking

school doesnt start again until next Wednesday, 7 days after the usj and the dorms have been built

bakugo and shinso wouldn't leave izuku. like, aizawa threatened to expel Bakugo and he still wouldn't go. when izuku wakes up, his two brothers are holding his hands and he cries because hes alive and they are there

so, dorms

everyone swarms izuku bc that's the soft man who they love who saved them in the usj and also they thought he was dead for a hot minute and izuku is crying and there are hugs. aizawa is very fond of his dumb children and they train for the sports festival

U.A. Sports Festival

Events

Event 1 : Battle Royal

so like, battle royal w a shrinking perimeter. 3 hits and you’re out. A hit is contact with another person, thrown object or quirk.

they all wear like these rly uncomfortable body suits that register touches anywhere bc nezu is a nightmare. they all fucking hate these things and nezu is cackling be he had them made but no one would let him use them

during the event, bakugo yells "MAKE IT THROUGH AND SHOW THOSE CHUCKLE FUCKS WHAT 1A IS MADE OF” a resounding yell of “FUCK YEAH” echos through the examinees

no matter what nezu does, not a single member of 1A lands a hit on another. like, bakugo trips and izuku uses his quirk to get him out of the range f kirishima

all of 1A makes it through. all of them. every single one, followed by half of 1B, plus 10ish mixed gen ed and support kids

gen ed, absolutely disgusted: “it’s clear ua favours 1a”

inasa, outraged and very loud: “sAY THAT TO MY FACe”

please, during the fight izuku goes to throw a punch at the person in front of him, they turn around and all he can see its purple hair and eyes and he cant. he uses his quirk to push himself away from shinso

izuku like,,, takes out most of the people bc he yeets people at eachother. he and inasa protect everyon from 1A! todoroki and bakugou team up, double the fire power. ochako is sad bc she cant help bc she cant touch her class mates so she yeets rocks at people. sato / kiri / bakugo make a sit tone of rubble for her, inasa makes a wind vortex above 1A, then she drops it. thats how they take out almost everyone

Event 2: Blind Tag

after the event their costumes light up. half red, half white. the anouncment is just "red is it. if you are still it in 10 minutes you dont move on. good luck" the area turns pitch b l a c k. all natural light is gone so all you can see is the glowing suits (the audience can see bc they have heat cams) and cementoss adds some varying terrain.

-        not gonna lie? it wasnt going to be blind tag but nezu didnt want the last fight to be just 1A

izuku is it he tags someone then avoids being tagged again

inasa is not it. he floats in a corner for like, the whole game but gets hit by ibara near the end

bakugo and todoroki are both not it and team up to make a firey circle of hell, they make it through

shinso does too and hes a really cool fight that no one but him and the audience get to see. he ends up choking this guy out, tags him and sprints away

Event 3: Tournament

momo/monoma, shinso/shoji, tsuyu/kendo, jiro/kuroiro, todoroki/hatsume, iida/awase, bakugo/kirishima, izuku/ochako

momo/iida, todoroki/shinso, izuku/tsuyu, bakugo/jiro

iida/izuku, shinso/bakugo

bakugo/izuku > Izuku wins

Vs. Hero Killer

Interns with Nighteye and Mirio as they do special training w gran. Working with Endeavours agency to find herokiller. Nomu attack, Nighteye tells Mirio to get Izuku to safety, Izuku tells Mirio ab. Iida. Another Nomu corners them, after internal deliberation Mirio tells izuku to go after Iida. Finds Iida, sends location.

Two Heroes

For one, Mirio and Nighteye are there, along with Izuku.

Forest Training Camp

They take Izuku too, because he was holding Bakugo's hand

Nighteye asks to see Allmight's future and allmight declines. Hes going to do it no matter what the future says, and he refuses to set it in stone by seeing it

Mirio is part of the rescue squad, 50% bc he's the one who will take the fall for the whole thing with his license. Besides, he knows about All for One, and it's his duty as a wielder of One for All to at least try to help his mentor.

"I mean, I could have just taken the boy's arm. But those nasty scars tell me hes very much seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he'd like to join as well."

#bnha au #bnha #midoriya izuku #midoriya inko #all might #yagi toshinori #aizawa shouta #eraserhead #Midoriya #shinsou hitoshi #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #mirio togata #mirio toogata #Nighteye #endeavor #todoroki enji #todoroki shouto #todoroki rei #yoarashi inasa #Iida Tenya

[fairycosmos]

It may be a random question, and i apologize in advance, but do you ever feel like everything is just..pointless? Time passes by me, i do nothing of importance, my parents are just eternally disappointed.I do not know how to cope with it anymore.

hey. yeah i feel this way a lot and it's extremely hard not to get preoccupied with the mindset. i think as humans it's natural to have existential questions and to search for a purpose, but in modern society we don't know how to view significance in a healthy manner. and when it starts consuming all your time, like it has for me if we're being open, that's when it fucks you up. look we're taught that we're only going to be valuable and happy if we find a traditional form of monetary success, if we sell our lives to make others happy. but when it comes down to it, if you see your life as nothing but a set of standards you need to meet instead of an experience you're having, then you're always going to feel like something's missing. so you can make a choice to ground yourself in rationality when it all gets too much. force yourself to focus on the smaller picture and getting through the day to day. you don't have to have it all figured out right now. you are living the answers to so many of your worries. you're not doing anything wrong. and above all, you're important to those around you. your actions make a difference in the world in ways you can't even perceive of. it's ok if you don't believe me right now, but don't write the idea off all together. there is so much beyond the pain of this moment, i promise. and im really sorry your parents don't understand, mine don't either. it's natural for them to want you to do well. but there comes a point when you're growing up where you realize that in order to live the way you feel most comfortable, you're going to have to disappoint them somehow. this is your existence and their opinion of it, while impactful to your development, does not dictate who you are. i don't know what your dynamic is like with them, and you definitely deserve love and support, but if they're shitty people then i don't blame you at all for not buying into their unrealistic mentalities. you're a human and you will make mistakes and find yourself over and over again beyond their boundaries. i know it's hard, i know living with the pressure feels impossible at times. and it is absolutely okay to cry, to process negativity and sadness, to let it wash over you. because there are so many ways to learn to cope with it, and that's where i would suggest focusing your energy, dude. if you're not getting what you need from your family then i promise there are numerous resources that will enable you to work through your thoughts and emotions. yeah it's scary and yeah you'll have to be honest/vulnerable to make it work but, it's nowhere near as scary as trying to handle this all by yourself. especially cause you don't need to. there are mental health hotlines you call that will tell you what your options are, or you could seek out a counselor at school, maybe a support group in your area. there are a lot and i mean a lottttt of kids in the same position as you. i get that it seems like too much, but there's genuinely nothing wrong with talking about the things that hurt. having someone to turn to and implementing healthy exercises into your life WILL make a difference. you're not stuck, ok? no matter how much it seems like you are. change is guaranteed but you have to help yourself get to that point. if you need to take some time to build up to reaching out, that's alright. until then maybe you could research some general tips for combatting depression, and maybe write about how you're feeling to get it out? even just practicing one or two suggestions will take you out of your head a bit. and sometimes that's good enough. you're doing a lot better than you think you are and i'll be rooting for you from my corner of the planet. let me know if you need a friend. you're not alone, and this will pass as you grow and find your own meanings/reasons for being.

#anon

[tumblunni]

More random thoughts for my new ocs Ted and Lee aka "that adorable eldritch abomination and his equally adorable husband"

* Possibly he got the name Ted from people calling him The Eternal Darkness? Like "oh gosh no that doesnt sound very friendly" *rebrands self*

* also im not sure if i should leave his husband as lee or maybe leonard or leopold? Can lee be short for leonard?

* I'm thinking Ted looks like a short round cuddly man with long curly hair and a beaming smile that just sometimes looks slightly too wide and fangy. He's like the most unimposing huggable dude in the world and probably wears cute lil polkadot bowties or something, and he just also happens to be an otherworldly doom monster. I'm thinking Lee is also a huggable dude but more built like a rugby player instead of all soft angles. And probably has short hair with a stylish salt and pepper look, starting to go grey but looking fabulous while he does it. Ted thinks he looks super handsome when he wears his reading glasses.

* Ted doesnt realise he isnt human, its partly because incarnating as a mortal means he doesnt have enough brain space for his full millenia of memories and partly because he feels self concious and wishes he could become a real human. Like..he had to discard some memories but it was his depression that caused "memory of not being human" to be one of the memories he picked. Lee figured it out pretty quickly though because Ted isnt exactly great at his human impression, alas! But he's trying to just support his husband towards remembering naturally, cos he can see the situation is traumatic for him and doesnt want to cause a panic attack by telling him all at once. Just tries to let Ted know that he loves him very deeply and like.. "I dont just love your face, i love YOU". And help support him to show more of himself in situations where his anxiety gets in the way, like more normal human situations to lead up to maybe the whole inhuman situation. I'll help you feel okay with wearing a swimsuit at the beach -> i'll help you feel okay with manifesting as a mind bending sentient black hole with a thousand eyes. Its tricky tho because Lee also feels anxious wearing a swimsuit in public! I'm gonna throw a little bit of personal relateableness in here and say he has the problem of bad acne and peeling skin on his upper back and shoulders cos thats a thing that runs in my family and im very self concious about it yeah. But these two depressed dudes can help fight the depression together!!

* And also sometimes they fight the occasional other eldritch beasties that fall through the void and try and take Ted's territory. Ranging from "aww stop hogging all the humans i wanna eat them" to "but you have a pet human why cant i take one of my own?" *grabs a handful of screaming dudes* Sometimes they can be reasoned with and end up joining the cul de sac as a new mildly ominous neighbour, and sometimes its just Lee beating up a giant moon spider with a broom while Ted clings desperately to him for dear life and has no clue whats going on. "HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT OUR PLEASANT EVENING WATCHING EMMERDALE!! TED SLAVED OVER A HOT STOVE TO MAKE THAT BUNDT CAKE!!"

* Ted's hobbies include learning to bake and also collecting model trains. It might be because he subconciously remembers drifting outside this dimension and looking in on the tiny humans but being too shy to talk to them? So he likes little tiny decorative things! And its so fun putting them together with his husband~! Lee is very supportive of Ted's hobbies and tries to help out with any heavy lifting cos he's not too good at the fiddly bits. He did a bunch of diy to renovate their old garage into a nice craft studio for Ted's miniatures! (They dont need a car anymore when Ted can just teleport) Ted actually isnt super good at cooking yet but he's excited to learn. He wanted to be able to bake Lee cakes cos Lee has a big sweet tooth and it felt more romantic to try and make his own stuff someday instead of jusy buying it. Though he teleports all over the planet to buy the best luxury cakes so OF COURSE he's gonna feel self concious that his own cooking doesnt live up to those standards yet! Lee still cherishes everything thoigh, and insists on finishing the whole cake even if its burnt. Ted is like 'nooo let me rewind time to undo the cellular entropy' and Lee is like 'ITS ALREADY PERFECT SHUT UP' *gives crumby kisses*

* so basically they are just incredibly ordinary middle aged husbands with incredibly ordinary middle aged husband lives, and just occasionally some sort of cosmic monster war will ruin their lawn. THOSE GARDEN GNOMES REALLY TIED THE WHOLE LOOK TOGETHER, DAMMIT!! *grabs broom* I think Lee has probably become a cryptid amoing the cryptids lol. Somewhere in the distant cosmos theyre telling each other legends of this terrifying cuddleman...

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes: 18

Book 18

Narrated by Aximili

Again I really wish something had come of the andalite traitors thing

Ax’s audience is other andalites

Leera’s like the only planet besides Earth to get an actual name in this joint

Andalites don’t use money

Ax is tryin g to work to get money to buy food

Ax needs to stop dicking around in human morph b;c he’s gonna getsomeone in trouble, possibly killed

This manager is actually a nice person

So Marco caught Ax

They are retelling the event at Cassie’s barn]

They are waiting for news from Erek

So was Ax? Alone at the damn mall? I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again there are rocks smarter than these kids

Erik has hidden chee with him

Of course Tobias fucking spots them all, its not like the chee could make themselves invisible

Hewlett Aldershot the Third, that’s a serious name

Yeerks wanna infest im for reasons and had Iness hit him with a car

Is this the same yeerk infested hospital from an earlier book? I guess boiling a bunch of folks alive and a minor wildlife rampage didn’t do shit.

Marco’s snippy when bored

So, either Visser 3 knows how to morph regular clothes or isn’t hamped by them at all and no one feels the need to mention them ripping through some while morphiong

Yeerks can’t do anything with a comatose host. 

Either the head of the secret service is a lady or the president is

That’s not really how wings work forget it

People have to be seeing this 6 winged bird thing chasing a seagull

Also apparently the kafit is some kinda bird of prey

Ax’s seagull morph has talons apparently

Visser 3 is scared of getting into a tail fight

Visser 3 thinks a teenager can beat him.

They’re right b/c they are shit at fighting

Stand face to face for even more opportunity to injure yerself and give yer opponent a better shot at yer head

Visser 3 nopes out of the fight, breaking a leg in the fall, but morphing human fast

Too much protein keeps Aximili awake

Dinnier at Cassie’s ment a lot for Ax

Ax races around as he wrestles with his thoughts and goes to Tobias to talk about feeliongs

Yeerks infultrating the andalite homeworld was an interesting idea and the writers are cowards

Shut up Cassie

Cassie you liar

If they could aquire from say blood alone, then why don’t they just try acquiring from parts of animals like ever?

Rachel is concerned about blood borne diseases and doesn’t know how most of those are contracted

Ax that sounds like bullshit. 

Ax you just hang with little squeemish bitches

Andalites have weak slow baby hands

How exactly do they plan to acquire blood that they ate as a mosquito? If they eat it it starts to break down from digestion and would be decently degraded by the time they vomit it back up and try to acquire from it.

A random sick kid has seen Ax and now knows his name

More humans have seen Ax

And like what reason with the yeerks have to let witnesses go like? Good job at getting more folks enslaved Ax

Ax thinks about collateral damage for once

...that’s a false surrender. Good job Ax! Not no one on yer side can ever actually surrender! Also a war crime.

Ax jumps out a window and morphs mosquito

That’s still not how compound eyes work

Pop

And now in the imaginary place

Huh, Ax and the animorphs get to see themselves in a 4 dimensional? view

Like tesseracts made of meat

Neat

Why, exactly would Tobias., who is in morph in ya know the shape of a bird not appear as a human jigsaw as well in this place?

They got dragged into Z space by a passing ship

And resqued by an andalite crew

The animorphs and Ax made a scientific breakthrough

.7 Andalite years stuck on Earth

I havent gotten to thhat book on my re read but everything you just said was wrong Ax

So there are multiple pool ships and such

Aximili doesnt actually have to stay with you all

He can fight yeerks where ever he pleases and really kinda needs to see others of his own kind every now and then

That grass probably tastes good as fuck tho after almost a year in Earth grass

Andalites being speciest

“May your great god Cha-Ma-Mib smile on you this day.” religious space frogs

“The continent loomed larger and larger. Most of it was lush and green, primarily jungle. Green like Earth's forests and jungles, but with wide swaths of some brilliant yellow vegetation, too. The northern end of the continent was less fertile, more barren, probably colder.”

Leera

The captian is a traitor

Also it is apparently pretty damn easy to take out andalites if you have even the slightest amount of drop on them

Visser 3 and Visser 4 are friends

That tailless dick fortified and used a weapon

The animorphs decided not to stick around in just listening to orders

Gonna blow the kids out an airlock and hope they survive

None of these fucks think to get in a damn fighter craft or emergency escape and attempt to survive

Just, welp folks we’re fucked time for some suicide!

Also the captain wasn’t even a controller, just willingly on the yeerk’s side

On the one hand Ax did abandon them. On the other the animorphs are not entitled to his service

Also this just isn’t the right time to pick on Ax

This is reallt not the right fucking time, Marco and Rachel are either trying to get themselves or someone else killed with their bullshit

Tobias u fucking chose to live in the woods as a wild animal, Aximili didn’t choose to be marroned on an alien world

You feathery asshole

Tobias vanished

Adi-fuckin-os

The yeerk forces are doing well on ground battle

Ax, the animorphs, the andalites, and the writers have failed ecology

Rachel vanished

The writers just really fucking hate sharks

“The water was perfectly, utterly clear. We were swimming in water that was forty feet deep, and we could see every detail on the ocean floor.

 And what detail! Huge, billowing creatures like white and yellow sails, triangular with biological propellers at each corner. Brilliant, electric-blue worms or snakes, each seventy feet long, swimming in wild schools. A bizarre creature that rose and fell through the water by blowing air into a bladder so thin it was almost transparent. A wonderful sort of fish in the shape of a screw that rotated its way through the water.

 And these creatures weren't scattered here and there, but everywhere. The Leeran ocean was a madhouse of life-forms.

 Spread around across the ocean were bubbling chimneys of rock and soil, encrusted with squirming, writhing creatures, small and less small. My shark senses could feel the electrical discharge from these chimneys, and the intense warmth. As I watched, a massive school of the brilliant blue worms came swirling around one of the chimneys. It swirled and my shark senses could feel the energy flow from the chimney into the worms.”

There would still be fucking predators u nits

“They were mostly yellow. They had skin that was slimy, as if covered with ooze, yet rough in texture, like gravel. They had large, webbed back legs. For arms they had four tentacles arrayed around their plump, barrel-shaped bodies.  The head was quite large, with a bulge at the back. It sat right on the shoulders. There was no neck. The face bulged outward and seemed to have just two features. A huge, wide, almost ridiculous mouth. And big, bulging eyes of a green that seemed almost to be lit from inside.

 There were four Leerans. They were riding on water jets. The water jets were long, narrow tubes, flared in front to make a sort of wing, flared again in back to give extra

maneuverability. Arrayed along the back wing were clusters of very narrow tubes pointed forward.”

Leerans

The crew free some leerans (granted they were going to kill them) b/c the leerans showed them how to get the yeerks out of them

The team morph leerans and are uncomfortable with knowing eachother’s thoughts

Oh what normal space ships arent good enough for crushing ocean pressures now? Gotta have actual submarines?

A lot of these high ranking andalites are quick to yelling and threats of violence aint they

That is a very iffy plan not the least being the yeerks with their mostly terrestrial shock troops would have likely set up camp there anyway it seems. But if u wanna throw away lives who cares

Marco vanished

Talking to scientists and shit

Actually Jake, if all of you vanish b4 u carry out the mission it will be too late for a back up

A world with no predators my ass

Cassie vanishes

Ah, so yeah bats aint flying with torn to shit wings. They’s ded

Jake vanished

How exactly did the andalites get the shit in there in the first place?

Hah, the hork hosts have rocket boosters

Aximili is saved by vanishing

So why were they snapped back in mosquito morph and not just flund full force back into their real bodies

And why snap them all back to the same moment and not staggared into different moments in time

How the fuck did this man feel a damn mosquito bite? A notible aspect of mosquitoes as that we don’t really feel them biting

Genral yeerk panicking over management

End with scene at mall

#nix reads animorphs #animorphs #have i mentioned that i'm not impressed by these books other than alien design?

[worangetravellertravels]

A Travel To An Orange Sky V: Morning

Me and... my whispering self (”we need a better name!”) finally arrive home right at the dawn of day and... and...

“Why did we got this home? Oh that one IS an old memory! And it was basically”

THE VIEW

Behind our home we could see a distant yet lovely close countryside, full of farms and fruit trees, all of them obviouslly separated by fences, each separating and showing to us a different world, maybe similar but at the same time SO different from one another... behind all that we could see small brown and green hills that on a cold morning like today felt like a couple of ice cream balls and above those hills? The sun, just now shily coming up after a crazy and weird night inside my head... and something more. The sky? was a lively and bright orange

“Our favorite color”...

... Only because of a drink and cartoons.

We stared at the sun and the start of a new day without saying anything, not a whisper to be heard... thought I felt their presence with me, they were archiving and enjoying this memory inmensly... finally a proper nice thing to remember

“You have plenty of good memories... but you NEED new ones and the routine of your life doesnt always leave you up for them... besides with time some memories get... spoiled...”

I started to remember, dont ask me why, of the time I was in an online relationship with a girl, we were both in highschool, we fooled around and had fun... and one day when I was getting ready for a journey she called me and the only time I heard her talk she said “I love you”, I call her back and said the same... but then after a while we broke up because well... young teens in a recently born internet? Was silly... I think its the only time a girl has told me the love me, romantically at least.

...

“You’re crying now, we’re crying now... sorry... it just came to me! That’s like a curse or some shit, I just bring the memories back, I can’t always choose which I bring”

I wiped the tears away... and smiled

“Huh?”

Then what we need... is better memories for us to move on.

“What’s with the cocky smile? You have a pla... oh... I LIKE IT!”

So do I Worange... so do I.

“Worange? Is that my name now?”

I think? two random favorite things of me blend together

“That doesn’t make much sense”

We never have, have we?

“... shit you’re right”

And so I finally went back home to rest... and plan.

-----------------------

It’s morning and 7:44 am I dont wanna go to work

“But we want money to buy shit so get moving, no time for breakfast but you can buy something even just a candy, just eat something”

UGH okay okay. Thankfully the train station has a candy cart outside. My morning is the same as any monday, same routine same week, same feeling of wanting saturday to be already here... there is one difference though.

“Hey I remember the first time you listened to this story! you didnt thought much of it at the time but everytime you listen it pisses you off more and more and...”

Yeah, I guess it’s because I hate people being guilted and they were forcing him to pick a side, by basically being dicks... but I guess the development all the character got late rin the story made it worth it to me

“Still annoying”

Me and my whisperes (or Worange how I call it) are now on better terms. They still bug me and bring back bad memories or annoying ones... but either I listened or argue with them or sometimes if im lucky THEY bring me a good memory to listen. It’s weird you know? It’s like they say You’re your own best friend? and also your worst critic? That’s Worange to me... I just need to remember how to handle them...

“But you wont always will...”

Yeah I know, nothing is perfect. It’s not like magically you will stop being the obnoxious whisper in my shoulder... I just need to be more aware so we have a way to deal with it.

“And also...”

OKAY SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH! 

“Hehehehe... okay”

We actually have a plan. It will take a while to get there but since Worange seems to be related to memories... memories is what I’m gonna give them. I decided to begin writing stuff of my day eveyday, even the smallest things can be a better memory that routine day number 2534315 And there’s... something else...

I already have the letter done so when summer gets here? My three weeks will be spent traveling the country, following the road behind my home and seeing what the world has to offer. For better and Worse... I’ll become a traveller... and see if I can see an orange sky again.

“That’s gonna be... too many sentiments to describe to be honest”

It truly will... hopefully is worth it.

“You’re alive... so it is.”

THE TRAVELLER AND WORANGE WILL RETURN SOMEDAY... IN SEARCH FOR ANOTHER ORANGE SKY

———————————————

Notes:

Part 5 of 5 of a bigger story event. I THINK I FINALLY HAVE  ABETTER IDEA WHAT MY BOOK WILL BE ABOUT! And this arc was a prologue to it... It wasnt my original idea, but around day 3 it evolved into it... random thanks in order:

@elphaba-fang a crazy event Idea that finally made me get back to writing, thanks

@ask-sayori-ddlc things can be depressing... but YOU are who decide to look at them in the best or worst light possible... indirectly you taught me that, thank you.

@ej121 thanks for your comments and feedback, I will finally play Celeste... someday, smash comes first xD

@mars-the-4th-planet and @misterjukebox8 you get a thanks just for being my friends this time... nothing wrong with that right? :P

and thanks specially to @tsunderydander... you reminded me I like to write... and that escalated into this... and hopefully more. Thanks my friend

Music to end this story: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nbN5gXVPxI

#a lovely word game with my literature club #story #writers on tumblr #worange #aworangestory #revelation #a travel to an orange sky

[insarations]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

#survey #survey questions #random survey #cute questions #many questions #random questions

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter eight: $192

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

holy shit do NOT expect updates from me this fast after november ends!!!!! i'm frantically doing nano as fast as possible and i am MAJORLY fucking myself over. after this is posted i'm writing 4 essays and catching up on readings (whoops)

this chapter has sooo much going on but a huge thank you to both sarah and flor for making it possible with your very different but very good ideas <3

warnings: depression, anxiety, references to suicide/past suicide attempts/self harm, some poor eating habits, a few mentions of drugs

enjoy and please read the end note on ao3~

High school is bulshit. Connor has known this since he first stepped into the annoyingly bright hallways freshman year because some asshole decided skylights were a good idea. It’s six hours of bullshit, with a bullshit twenty three minute lunch thrown somewhere in the middle.

It’s a lot of bullshit.

Somehow, having a friend makes it…less bullshit. A fake friend. Evan makes everything suck a little less. There’s something to look forward to when he shows up at ass o’clock in the morning. There’s a reason to push through the day, even if it’s just seeing Evan’s smile as he puts books back into his locker. Tuesdays are arguably the best because Connor gets a solid twenty extra minutes with Evan at lunch.

Which in and of itself is its own can of bullshit. A can that Connor should not have opened, but here they fucking are.

There are a few times where Connor genuinely considers telling Evan about his feelings. Platonic and romantic. And then he laughs at himself because no fucking way. On what planet would Evan Hansen like him in any capacity?

Connor is lucky that he’s been able to hold on to Evan as a fake friend. He’s not going to push his luck.

Every time he smiles at Evan he pushes his luck a little more. Every time he asks Evan to hang out without having a legit reason for it he pushes his luck. Every time he thinks about Evan—

Connor focuses on friendship. He focuses on friendship because he will settle for friendship. He would give anything to be Evan’s real friend.

It’s ridiculous but it’s true.

Connor is in way too fucking deep.

“Where have you been?” Larry asks from the couch when Connor opens the front door.

Connor rolls his eyes. “I was with Evan.” And Jared. It was weird but not the worst. Jared kept claiming he could beat Evan at Mario Kart and kept losing and had to buy the pizza. Even if all Connor got out of those three hours was the priceless look on Jared’s face when Connor rolled his pizza up like a burrito with the toppings on the outside, it was worth it.

“Hm.”

Connor shuts the door and pulls off his boots. He drops them by Zoe’s converse. “I told Zoe where I was.”

“So you’re talking to your sister again?”

Connor pauses. He was going to go grab a drink, but apparently not. “Why do you care?”

Larry lowers his phone. “Because she’s your sister.”

“…and?”

“How long have you known Evan?” Larry asks.

Connor frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer the question, Connor.”

Connor grimaces at the sharp tone. “I don’t fucking know—”

“Language.”

“—like seven months? Why does it matter?”  

Larry slides his phone into his pocket. “And how long have you known Zoe?”

Connor scoffs. “Seriously? Are you about to yell at me for spending time with my friend?”

Larry crosses his arms. “He’s always around.”

“Yeah, because he’s my friend and I like him? Zoe’s with her friends all the time, and you don’t say shit about that.” Connor walks into the dining room. If Larry wants to have this conversation, he either has to follow Connor or yell.

“Connor,” Larry says warningly.

“Maybe Zoe doesn’t want to spend time with me,” Connor snaps. Because Zoe doesn’t. And that’s fine. Connor has made her life hell so he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to have anything to do with him.

Larry stalks into the dining room and sometimes Connor forgets that Larry is where he gets his height. “That’s not the point.”

Connor throws his arm out. “Then what is the point!?”

“You have a better relationship with Evan than with your sister.”

Connor stares at him. “Why does this matter.” For some reason this hurts. It stings like he’s just submerged papercut covered hands in lemon juice. It hurts too much for fire to keep burning.

“You’ve known him for less than a year,” Larry says, voice low and dangerous.

“You think you’d be happy that I’ve found an actual friend,” Connor says numbly. The lie burns his mouth.

“You spend far more time with him than Zoe—”

“He actually wants to be around me!” Connor protests. Because he will listen to his father tear him down, but he won’t listen to him say anything about Evan. Not Evan. “Zoe—”

“Is your sister!” Larry yells. Connor feels his blood run cold. “When was the last time you were actually a brother to her!?”

Connor feels sick. The world cracks and crumbles around the edges and his insides freeze and shatter. He laughs. It hurts his chest. “When was the last time you were a father to me?” he whispers.

Larry’s expression doesn’t change. It stays hard. Cold and distant.

When was the last time— 

Connor holds eye contact as long as he can. But he’s broken and the world around him is numbing and dying.

So he leaves.

He pushes past Larry, dropping his eyes to the floor with his tongue heavy in his mouth. He shoves his boots on and throws the door open.

“Where are you going?” Larry yells. Because he can keep doing this. He can do this for hours.

Connor looks out at their driveway. The dying grass and dead plants in neat rows. Brown and wilted and dying and dead. “Why do you care?” he asks.

He slams the door behind him.

It feels good to have a door to slam.

—«·»—

His feet bring him to the playground. There aren’t many places to go in this town.

It’s getting dark. There’s a singular light by the school that still turns on with the other streetlights. It illuminates parts of the playground in a hazy glow.

It doesn’t look real.

Connor sits under the stairs that lead up to the slide. If he closes his eyes, he can bring himself back to elementary school. He digs his hand into the wood chips, cold and jagged and stabbing at his skin. He can pretend. He can hear screaming and laughter and kids running up the stairs trying not to slip. Kids hiding under here, whispering secrets to each other. Someone throws the woodchips at someone else and gets yelled at. They play clapping games and tic-tac-toe in the dirt. They pull up grass and throw it in the air and fall off the monkeybars and fight over the swings and stand under the trees and play in the mud—

Connor takes a shaky breath as hot tears run down his cheek. He scrubs them away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

He hates crying. He hates how it makes him feel. He hates how tears feel, he hates the runny nose, he hates the sobbing and the ragged breathing and how it makes him feel weak.

He sniffs and wipes away more tears. God, he needs to get high. But he refuses to go home and his stash is running out because he’s low on cash because he’s been spending it all on Evan.

Evan.

Connor flexes his hands — they’re cramped from the cold and from the fists he’s been squeezing them in — and pulls his phone out of his pocket. At least it hasn’t shut off from the cold yet, that’s happened to him before and it’s annoying to deal with.

From: Connor To: Evan      tell zoe im fine just needed to blow off steam      emphasize im not with you

He’s surprised he can type actual words let alone with no spelling mistakes. His hands are cold and shaking. He presses his phone against his forehead and takes a slow breath.

Fuck.

Every atom in his body wants to walk to Evan’s right now. He just wants to be near Evan. There’s something about Evan that’s undeniably calming, even though Evan could be described as nervous energy barely held together in a human form. Something about Evan that makes him feel less at war with himself.

But he already used up his time with Evan for the day. Even just texting Evan feels like too much.

His phone buzzes against his forehead.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok  j ust did!!      Is everyhting ok??? Do you need ot talk ??

Connor stares at the message. He kind of want to cry again, which fucking sucks. And he told Evan that he would tell him if something was wrong but— no.

From: Connor To: Evan      no not now      maybe later

Connor stares at their conversations.

He asked Evan about cats at four in the morning once. Evan hadn’t responded until he woke up two hours later — good — but when he did he had a bunch of random cat facts. And pictures of Jared’s cat to share.

It felt like friendship. That’s what friendship feels like, right? Connor doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. But he thinks, somehow, he’s broken things. Whatever they are. Because he’s too attached. He’s too involved. Everything is too much.

He digs his fingers into the woodchips again.

Connor can’t decide if it’s better if Evan likes him or hates him.

—«·»—

Zoe texts him. He knows because his phone buzzes and he looks down and he sees her name right above Evan’s. Connor’s phone is at 4%. He turns on airplane mode and locks it without reading any of their texts.

Connor rests his chin on his knees and stares ahead into the darkness.

He doesn’t want to walk home. He knows he has to or he’ll probably freeze to death but that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

No, that’s a bad idea.

Connor stretches his legs out in front of him. They feel weird, he’s spent so long with them pulled up against his chest. If he stands he might fall over.

He can’t feel his hands when he gets up off the ground. He climbs out from under the slide and holds onto the railing as his legs remember how they’re supposed to work.

He’s tired.

Connor squints into the darkness as he leaves the playground. The streets are so poorly lit in this area that he’s probably going to fall and break something. That’s what happens when people don’t use an area. They don’t care for it. And then some asshole teenager breaks his fucking leg walking home in the dark.

His phone would probably die before he could call for help too.

Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts walking. He knows he should probably pay more attention, but he barely pays attention to the few cars on the roads as he makes his way down the sidewalk. As he gets into a more residential area, it gets a little brighter.

He looks up to cross a street and locks eyes with a doe standing in someone’s yard. It stares at him for a long moment before bounding away into the darkness.

Connor looks both ways and crosses the street, stepping around a puddle that’s starting to freeze over.

He stops when he gets to the bottom of his driveway.

If Larry tries to talk to him when he goes inside, he’ll leave. Connor’s already decided. He doesn’t know where he’ll go, but he’ll leave.

Connor huffs. He really just wants his bed right now.

The door is unlocked when he tries the doorknob. He frowns and slowly pushes the door open. A lamp is on in the living room, though the rest of the rooms are dark.

He quietly takes his boots off and closes and locks the door as softly as possible.

“Connor?” Cynthia asks as soon as he takes another step into the house.

Connor sighs. “Yeah it’s me.”

She gets up from the couch and hurries over to where he’s standing by the front door. “I was so worried,” she whispers, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Oh, Con, you’re freezing.”

“It is November,” Connor tries to joke. The singular stings.

The crease in Cynthia’s forehead gets deeper.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Zoe said Evan texted her— were you with him?”

Connor pulls away. “No,” he says sharply. “I wasn’t. I don’t spend every fucking moment with him, god.” He walks toward the kitchen. His hands are still ice and he needs something to warm them.

“I never said you did.” Cynthia follows him. “Your father—”

“Don’t.”

Cynthia sighs. “Connor, we can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”

“I’m going to try.” He debates making coffee, but all that will get from his mom is a disapproving look. He reaches for Zoe’s mint hot chocolate instead.

Cynthia makes a frustrated noise. “Where did you go, Connor?”

“Out.” He grabs the first mug he sees. He resists the urge to drop it when he realizes it’s one of Larry’s, old and orange and so well used that the logo has washed off the side of it.

“Were you out smoking again?”

“No.” He almost wants to laugh. He wishes. He takes the milk out of the fridge and pours it into the mug. He’s too tired to do anything more than microwave milk right now.

“Are you sure?”

Connor sighs and turns to Cynthia with the mug in his left hand. “Mom, you would know if I had been high tonight. Weed smells? Remember?” He brushes past her and puts the mug in the microwave.

Cynthia watches him with sad eyes. She always looks sad and it’s Connor’s fault which is… It’s kind of shitty. “I was terrified,” she says softly.

Connor grimaces.

“I kept thinking… I was so worried that maybe you…”

If she starts crying— Connor doesn’t actually know what he’ll do. “I was fine,” he promises. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“Would you tell me if you were going to?”

Connor can’t meet her eyes. He watches the numbers count down on the microwave. He pulls the door open before it can beep. Cynthia sighs as he puts too much hot chocolate powder in the milk. Connor stirs carefully, trying not to spill all over the counter.

“You can always talk to me, sweetheart,” Cynthia says, squeezing his shoulder. Connor shrugs and she presses a kiss to his cheek. “We can talk in the morning. Sleep well.”

Connor stares down into his hot chocolate as she leaves the kitchen.

He has the strong urge to just sit on the floor and waste away.

He takes his hot chocolate up to his room and sits in bed and watches the Great British Baking Show on his laptop. It feels weirdly fake.

At some point he falls asleep. It all feels the same.

“Connor. Connor. Connor!”

Connor groans and rolls over so he’s not facing his doorway.

“Connor, if you don’t get up now, you’re walking to school.”

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter. “‘m not going,” he mumbles.

Zoe grabs his shoulder and shakes him. “Get up!”

Connor shoves her hand away. “Go away!”

“I’m not dealing with your shit—”

“I’m not going!” Connor twists to glare at her. “Fuck off, I’m not going.”

Zoe stares at him. She’s all ready. Her hair is braided over one shoulder, her makeup is done. Connor can’t even remember when she started wearing makeup. He doesn’t know when Zoe grew up.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps. “I’m not going to school.”

She takes a step away. “Okay. Okay. Fine. You’re not going.” She keeps looking at him. Why is she looking at him like that? “Go back to sleep.” She slips out of the room and Connor keep looking at the space she occupied.

He hears the front door open and close. He pulls the covers over his head and goes back to sleep.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up a little bit before noon.

His head hurts and his mouth tastes like death. He stumbles out of bed just to brush his teeth. He probably wouldn’t move other than the fact that his mouth is gross.

While he’s looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he mindlessly brushes his teeth, he realizes he never changed out of yesterday’s closes. He’s still wearing ripped jeans and an old sweatshirt.

His phone is still sitting on his desk with 2% left. Connor plugs it in and turns off airplane mode and puts on sweatpants that are a little too big and a hoodie that has old paint stains on it. Then he gets back in bed.

He watches videos on his laptop, not really paying attention to what’s on the screen. He looks away in surprise when his phone vibrates. He picks it up and skims through the messages. He never read the ones from last night.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok IM gonna hol d you to that ok??

From: Z To: C      Why the fuck did Evan just text me????      Where are you?      What happened all I heard was Dad yelling and then you were gone      Connor      Don’t fucking ignore me

Missed call and voicemail from Z

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Pick up asshole

Missed call from Z

From: Evan To: Connor      Umm Zoes freaking ou ton me?      Connr what happened wheer are y ou ?

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Fuck you      Ok?      Seriously fuck you      You’re killing mom      I hope you’re fucking happy      If we find you dead in a ditch somewhere I swear

From: Evan To: Connor      Pl ease answ er some on e

From: Z To: C      I heard you and mom in the kitchen. Fuck you. You can’t do this      You’re terrifying Connor      You scare the shit out of me      I know you won’t respond tonight. I’ll tell Evan you’re ok      This shit isn’t funny

From: Evan To: Connor      Zo ejust text dme Im glad youre ok but I wsih you answered your phone      I know thing s get hard but please let people know yoru esafe because otherwise peoplestart to think the wrs t and then they bother you and dont let you leave their sight      We just want the bes t for you we want you to be ok      Ill see you tomorrwo

From: Z To: C      Just told Evan you won’t be here today. I’m guessing you still haven’t responded to him.      Maybe try to be a good friend.      Or even just a friend.

From: Evan To: Connor      Zoe said you werent coming in today?? A reyou ok?      Thats hte worst question to ask IM so sorry      Please talk ot me Connor      Its importan t      Im coming over after school      I knw thats invading on your personal space but I need to know if youre ok andif youre not going to answer texts I don tknow how else to reach you      I have to help alana with stuco stuff because no on eelse wants to hang posters but Ill be there afterward even if its only for like two minutes can we please talk??

“I’m home!” Zoe shouts.

Connor glances up to the top of his phone to see the time. Shit. It’s already two. He doesn’t know how he lost so much time to YouTube. Which means Evan will be here…soon.

From: Connor To: Evan      ok

“Connor?” Zoe calls out.

Connor stares at her texts and feels his stomach turn. “What?” he yells back.

“Come get your boots! Mom wants us to move ours shoes!”

He scowls and lays back down. “Fuck off!”

She yells at him to get them again, but he just puts headphones in and ignores her. He lays in bed and stares at the wall and listens to music that is way too loud. It would be nice to feel something right now. He distantly hears Zoe yell again and tries to turn the music up louder. The volume doesn’t increase and he makes a face and does a silent eulogy for his eardrums.

Zoe shouts his name again and Connor sighs and yanks out his earbuds. He tried. “What?!”

He can’t make out whatever she says next, but then she shouts, “You’re a dick!”

“Not fucking news,” he snaps. He’s about to put his headphones back in when Evan appears in his doorway. He’s still wearing his backpack and his arms are filled with food and there’s something tucked under his arm.

Connor stares at him. “What the fuck.”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “No dishes in the sink. We realized you probably didn’t eat today.” He looks down at the food he’s holding. There are chips and a container of strawberries and a loaf of bread and he’s carefully balancing a bowl on top of the strawberries.

“Why didn’t you—”

“Zoe had to run,” Evan says. “Something about an emergency piano job?”

Connor squints. “I forgot she plays piano.”

Evan nods. “Someone’s accompaniment is sick so I think she has to fill in. Can you, uh…”

“Oh, right.” Connor gets out of bed and takes the bowl from Evan. It’s filled with leftover mac n cheese. He puts it on the desk and then takes the chips.

“A-anyway, Zoe had to run and two trips are for suckers.” Evan puts the strawberries and bread down on the desk.

Connor rolls his eyes. “Okay.”

“These are also for you.” Evan pulls a stack of mail out from under his arm. “Looks like mostly college stuff.”

“Fucking college board,” Connor mutters. “Never should’ve taken the SATs.”

“Yeah, same. They won’t leave me alone. Oh! And Alana gave me notes for you for english. She started saying something about like…chiasmic?”

“Chiasmus,” Connor mutters, looking through the mail. Nothing he cares about. Great. He can set it on fire.

“Yeah that’s it!” Evan takes off his backpack and puts it on the floor to take out a notebook.

Connor stares at him. “Evan?”

Evan looks up at him. “Yeah?”

“Are… Why are you wearing my boots?”

“Oh.” Evan stands up straighter and lifts one of his feet. “Zoe kept yelling at you to bring your boots upstairs. Figured if I was bringing you all this I just…take them too?”

Connor stares at him. Evan looks kind of ridiculous. Connor’s all too familiar black combat boots are paired with Evan’s usual khakis and a gray sweatshirt with a striped polo peaking out from under it. The boots go up a little too high on Evan’s shins which adds to the look and Connor is now noticing that they give Evan a few inches that he definitely does not actually have.

“Is this what it’s like to be tall?” Evan asks with a smile.

Connor snorts. “No, Hansen. It’s not.”

Evan shrugs. “I’ll take it.”

“Aren’t those kind of big for you?” Connor’s mind is still trying to process this. Evan is wearing his shoes. That’s definitely not something he’s thought about before. Or ever considered. He thinks his brain might be resetting.

“Oh god yes.” Evan sits down on Connor’s bed and unlaces one of the boots. “It’s actually a miracle I didn’t like…fall down your stairs or something. That would’ve been embarrassing.”

“And painful.”

“That too.” Evan pulls off the boot. He’s still wearing his old sneakers.

Connor opens and closes his mouth a few times. “Hey, Ev?”

Evan starts untying the other boot. “Yup?”

“You’re wearing…your shoes in my boots?”

Evan looks Connor in the eye. “I already told you, two trips are for suckers.”  

Connor laughs. It’s weird to laugh right now, like it’s the wrong emotion to feel. But he laughs and smiles at Evan because there is something about Evan wearing sneakers in his boots that’s ridiculous but also makes Connor’s stomach fill with butterflies. “Okay, Ev. Whatever you say.” He falls onto his front on the bed next to Evan. The moment feels too light. And then all of Evan’s texts come back at him in a crushing wave.

Connor grimaces. “Um…sorry for last night.”  

Evan glances back at him over his shoulder. “I…” He rubs a hand over his face. “You scared us.” He says it softly, like a secret, and stares at his feet.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Connor admits. “I just… Fuck, I just needed to get out. And then my phone was almost dead and I didn’t want to talk to people… I fucked up.”

Evan nods. He wordlessly pulls his sneakers off and then crosses his knees on the bed.

“I had a fight with Larry it was…” Connor rolls onto his back and sits up. “I needed to be alone, I guess. I wasn’t really thinking about other people when I left. I didn’t even bring my house key.”

Evan scoots further onto the bed. “What did you fight about?”

Connor searches Evan’s face. His eyes trail over Evan’s freckles. They dot his face like stars. “Nothing serious,” he mumbles. “It just got out of hand.”

Evan leans back on his hands. “Is that why you didn’t come to school today?”

Connor runs a hand through his hair. “I guess. I just… Zoe woke me up and getting out of bed just seemed like the worst fucking option ever. I think I yelled at her, but I barely remember waking up.” He grabs the bowl of mac n cheese off the desk. Food. Right.

Evan nods. “I… There are days like that. Where getting up makes me want to cry.” He holds out a hand. “Can I have the chips?”

“That sucks.” Connor hands over the bag of chips and continues eating mac n cheese. The sooner he finishes this the sooner he can go back to not being a person.

“Yeah, kind of.”

Connor sighs. “Aren’t we a fucking pair.” He pushes pasta around the bowl.

Evan tilts his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles.

Connor frowns. “What is it?”

Evan shakes his head. “Nothing. I thought of something, but it’s not important.”

“Are you sure?”

Evan nods and reaches for Connor’s laptop. “Let’s just watch something and pretend our lives aren’t horrible.”

Connor watches Evan carefully as Evan opens YouTube and scrolls through the recommended videos until he finds one that isn’t too weird sounding. “Yeah that sounds like a good plan.” He puts his bowl back on the desk— he only had a few bites but his stomach is kind of done with food.

Connor takes the laptop from Evan and scoots over so they can both lean against the pillows. He rests the laptop on his knees. Evan’s arm presses against Connor’s and Connor tries not to think about it. He tries to focus on the random video that Evan chose. It’s probably funny or something.

But he can’t. Because Evan is here.

Evan is warm and curled toward Connor and his hair smells nice and he’s leaning his head against Connor’s shoulder to see the screen better. And Connor’s heart is doing this weird thing where it feels like it’s being squeezed which is honestly so fucking rude.

Evan sighs and moves a little closer.

Yup. This is hell.  

—«·»—

“Connor!”

Connor’s heart races as he wakes with a jerk. He’s about to move when he notices the weight on his torso. He looks down to see Evan’s head resting on his chest.

Connor stops breathing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy—

“Connor?”

Connor groans and squints into the bright light of the hallway. When did he fall asleep? When did it get so fucking dark out? Why is Evan sleeping on him? Why is Zoe always so loud? “Wha?”

“You aren’t dead.” A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. Connor squints at her. “Get your ass downstairs, we’re about to—”

Evan sits up, rubbing his eyes.

Zoe stares at him. Her eyes go from Connor to Evan. Connor wants to go back to sleep. He wants Evan cuddled against him because fuck that was really nice.

“Zoe?” Evan asks, voice soft.

Connor is not mentally equipped for this.

“…thought Evan went home,” Zoe says slowly.

“No,” Connor says. “Nap.”

“Right. Right.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Cool. Okay.” She clears her throat. “We were going to…” She gestures over her shoulder. “You know…”  

Connor narrows his eyes as he tries to figure out what she means.

“Friday night? Shabbat?”

Connor props himself up on his elbows. “Oh. Right.” He looks to Evan. Evan’s hair is messy and sticking up in all directions and it’s making Connor’s heart do weird things.

Zoe follows his gaze. “Uh… Evan can…join us? If he…?” She gives Connor a desperate look. “Or stay here? Or sleep…? Um…” She raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor shakes his head.

“Uh…I don’t really…” Evan clears his throat. “My mom and I— we don’t really do anything for Shabbat at home…because… My mom works a lot so we don’t— I don’t really…know what I’m supposed to do?”

Tension seems to leave Zoe as she smiles at Evan. “Don’t worry about it, we can show you. Connor doesn’t know what he’s doing either.”

Connor flips her off and throws off his covers. “I won’t be insulted in my own fucking home,” he mutters.

Evan crawls over Connor’s legs to get out of bed. “You sure I w-won’t ruin it?” he asks Zoe, tugging on his shirt.

“Swear,” she says, drawing an x over her heart. “We haven’t set the house on fire yet, so you’ll be fine.”

Evan steps past her into the hallway and Zoe immediately raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor gives her a look.

“What is this,” she hisses into his ear.

“What do you mean?” he whispers back.

She gestures to Evan. “When did you two get together?”

Connor jerks away. “What?”

Zoe stares at him. “You’re—”

“No!” He lowers his voice. “Zoe what the fuck—”

“I don’t know! He gets you to eat and sleep what the fuck am I supposed to think?”

“Not that?”

“A-are you two coming?” Evan asks from the top of the stairs.

Connor and Zoe exchange a look.

“Later,” Zoe says.

“No.” Connor walks over to Evan and tugs on his sleeve. “Let’s go.”

Zoe squeezes past them on the stairs, flicking the back of Connor’s head as she goes. “Mom! Evan’s joining us!”

Evan grabs Connor’s hand at the foot of the stairs. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” he whispers with wide eyes.

“It’s fine,” Connor promises. “Just stand next to me and do what I do. But you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Evan looks toward the kitchen. “I… It’ll be fine. Yeah. I-I want to do this.”

Connor gives him a small smile and pulls him into the dining room. Cynthia places down another glass as they walk in and smiles at Evan. Evan nods and fiddles with his hands and Connor resists the annoyingly strong urge to hold his hand.

Zoe passes around her purple kippot from a drawer near the sink, and Connor wonders how long it’ll take before his falls off this time. He watches Evan read the inscription inside of the date of her bat mitzvah, before nervously pressing it on his head.

They stand behind their chairs at the table, small glasses of grape juice — or in Larry’s case, red wine — next to their plates. Connor watches as Cynthia lights the candles and waves her hands over them before covering her eyes so she can’t see the flames as she sings a short prayer for the candles.

Connor tries to concentrate on the Hebrew instead of the glow reflected in Evan’s eyes. Those are bad thoughts. And it’s also not the time for them.

Cynthia moves to her seat and lifts her wine glass. Connor nudges Evan as the rest of the family does the same. Evan shoots him a thankful look and a tiny smile. They keep the glasses aloft as Cynthia makes Kiddush, only awkwardly joining in at the end of the blessing.

Connor remembers Zoe learning the other parts of it for her bat mitzvah, but she probably feels too uncomfortable to sing along with Evan here. Not that Evan is the most awkward and uncomfortable part of their dysfunctional family. 

Everyone takes a sip of their drinks — Evan a little belatedly — and Cynthia removes the ornate cover from her handmade loaves of challah on the cutting board. Connor remembers when she used to buy challah for them, ordered specially from a bakery, shiny and with white flour. Sometimes on holidays they had raisins.

Now she bakes them gluten free and several weeks in advance, but at least he remembers the blessing for once (the food was really the part of Hebrew school he looked forward to), so he joins in quietly with everyone, trying not to focus on Evan’s wavery stuttering. The bread is sliced and the cutting board is passed around, and they all take their seats.

Connor hears an audible sigh of relief from Zoe. Evan looks to Connor and gives him a half smile. He’s gripping the hem of his shirt in his hands under the table. Connor smiles back.

Zoe is still right, they haven’t burned the house down.

Dinner is awkward. Honestly, Connor wasn’t expecting anything else. It’s awkward and quiet and the little talking that is done is done by Zoe and Cynthia. Connor does his best to just not look in Larry’s direction. He will ignore this as long as he possibly can. Next to him, Evan is tense and keeps his eyes mostly on his plate. Sometimes him and Connor make eye contact and Evan will give him a tiny smile and Connor’s heart tries out a fun new pattern. Evan keeps touching his kippah, sometimes adjusting it, eyebrows furrowing whenever he does. He’s probably worried about it slipping or falling into the soup or something and honestly, Connor relates.

They survive. That’s the important part.

“Told you it’d be fine,” Connor says as they go back up to his bedroom. Evan probably has to go home at some point but Connor is very pointedly not thinking about that.

Evan laughs. “I thought my kippah was going to fall off. I’d probably find a way to make it catch fire.”

“I’d be impressed.”

Connor eyes the stack of snacks on his desk before grabbing the carton of strawberries and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Connor holds out a strawberry and Evan takes it while saying, “You know, we just ate.” Connor shrugs. “Fruit is healthy.”

“I mean you aren’t wrong.” Evan drops down on the bed next to Connor.

Connor stares at him for a few moments. He’s probably got some sort of embarrassingly soft look on his face but it’s fine. Then he remembers that Evan is here. “Oh shit, I have money here some—”

“No,” Evan interrupts.

Connor shakes his head. “We agreed—”

“Fuck Jared’s list,” Evan says. He glances to the doorway and lowers his voice. “I wanted to be here, Con. I wanted to see you. D-don’t… You don’t have to pay me.”

“Are you sure?” Connor asks softly. He feels…like he’s using Evan but worse. Because this is not the agreement.

Evan nods. “I’m sure.”

Connor runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “Okay,” he says, stomach turning. It’s okay. It’s fine. “Okay.” 

#connor murphy #evan hansen #tree bros #convan #deh #my fics #to have a friend #so many things are happening

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The Bucketlist

Mini-Series of Short Stories

St. Valentines Day [EN]: Chapter 4

Two months has passed as they continued to work together until they finish the movie and gained so much awards and credit.

"Woohoo!!! Guys! Let's party! We all deserve it for all the hard work!" Director said.

"I think you guys need to talk about something. I don't know but while working with the both of you, we all feel sexual tension in the air." The celebrity Catherine said to Gisela when she noticed that Dorian is eyeing her from afar.

"H-he thinks he's so hot that he can get everyone. Though he told me he had indecent proposals in the past, 3 SMS, 4 Calls, 6 DMs, and 2 missed calls... He's not that hot." Gisela told the actress.

"Woah, so updated, are we?" Catherine gave Gisela a knowing look and a knowing smile.

"Can we talk?" After the Dorian's invitation, he and Gisela went to the nearest park.

"Whenever, I see that sand box, I remember Plage Solitaire. The most peaceful beach on the planet." Gisela just nodded to what Dorian said.

"I-im sorry." They both said in unison.

Then, they laughed a bit with embarrassment.

"L-listen-..." They said again in chorus.

"You go first." Dorian said.

"No. You should go first." Gisela said.

"Uhm, here you go... C-can we be together?" Dorian asked Gisela who shed tears immediately with the question.

"You don't understand. You don't wanna be with someone so-called 'Damaged Good'. I don't want you to regret it. You don't wanna be with me. You don't need to due to pity. You don't-..." Gisela's anxiety is overwhelmingly obvious.

"We do not know those things yet. Those are 'What ifs', you're far from a 'Damaged Good'. For me, you're a beautiful 'Work-in-progress' and hell, despite the controversies I had, I'm still in good condition, whatever you're going through, I will go through it with you. Whatever you're thinking, I'll help you overcome it. If there's someone who can try and understand you, that's me. For me, this isn't the time to waste time and fool around, this is not like the roles I play, this is real. You are real. I don't care how hard it is but no matter what, I wanna be a part of something so beautiful... A part of your plans in the future. Please. For old times' sake, let me be with you all the way." Gisela, lost for words nodded crying as Dorian also shed tears.

"Gisela, thank you. I love you..." Dorian whispered to Gisela as he caress the woman's hair, embracing her long and tight enough to make her feel safe.

"Let me drive you home." Dorian told Gisela.

They both started living under one roof at Dorian's condominium unit.

One morning, as they're lying on the bed, Dorian hesitantly asked about Gisela's list...

"Dear Piggy... A-are you still gonna continue with that list?" She showed him the list seeing number '6' crossed out.

"Back in the beach, I haven't really finished the list yet. Now, it's done. I actually skipped on number '6' and went straight to number 7, 8, 9 and 10. 'Cause you're not just any random guy... Technically you're my little Dino, but... You're the one." Dorian checked the list out due to his curiosity.

1. Earn a lot for the future. ✓

2. Quit the medical industry. ✓

3. Spend more time with the only family - Merian. ✓

4. Finish writing my novels and posting it to my writing/social platforms. ✓

5. Buy a house in Plage Solitaire at a chosen paradise to 'live and die' for. ✓

6. Have virginity taken by a random guy and leave him clueless afterwards. *Skip this part.* ✗✗

7. Get a writing job. ✔

8. Take care and fully pay insurance. ✅

9. Have the one closest to my heart, help me choose a casket and designs for the tomb.

Plus, choose a church for the blessing and perfect spot in the graveyard/cemetery.

10. Chose a great necrological service speaker. I want a great Eulogy.

Dorian just looked carefully at Gisela's face and embraced her tightly.

Then, she spoke...

"I know. I'm a weirdo." Gisela told Dorian.

"Piggy... You're kinda like scaring me with these things but if this is the way I can be with you, I'll understand, process and digest every single bit of it. I'm not even gonna ask you why you made this list in the first place but if you're ready to not give up on life, I'm gonna go with you if you decided to get yourself checked." Dorian said.

"I'll tell you when the time comes..." Gisela said.

The couple decided to go shopping.

No ordinary shopping but he's only doing it for Gisela even if he doesn't wanna consider the thought.

"You know what? I think this one will be okay. Ah! I know! Maybe I can also have a reservation my own. Same color as I've chosen for you. So when the time comes... We're still gonna go as a couple. Even if it's the after-life." Dorian joked a bit.

"Don't. Even though, couple shirts, couple rings and other couple stuff might be cute, I don't want you to think about a couple casket. You're a born villain. And villains don't die unless it's passed hundreds of years already. Plus, they don't even age. Time flies for them gracefully like a bloodline of a vampire." Gisela joked him back.

The next stop is to the cemetery.

They're choosing tomb designs.

"This is perfect, 'In loving memories of...-" Gisela was cut of.

"We can choose the designs Piggy but it's good to personalize those messages." Dorian said as he wrote things down on a paper.

You have lived a life full of love.

Soon, we'll meet and love again up above.

To the place where there is never-ending peace.

Love,

Your Dorian

Gisela smiled at Dorian and they went to the cemetery.

Gisela insisted to choose a spot.

"This spot is nice. The one near the tree." She said.

"I would already reserve those two spots next to each other. So that I can lie down with you forever when the time comes..." Dorian said Gisela shed tears and hugged Dorian.

"I don't wanna take you in this journey with me. You're not welcome this early to where I'm heading. Sorry for being so difficult but thank you for having number 9 checked off my list." Gisela said as she embraces her boyfriend.

A day after Dorian's shoot, he went home to Gisela and the house was empty.

Their things are scattered all over the floor.

The entire house was messy.

But...

There are no traces of Gisela everywhere.

She's missing.

"My dearest, why end up dodging the bullet once more? Running away and hiding again on me like that." Dorian whispered.

He searched everywhere for her and in a place he thought Gisela would go to.

"She's not here. She went through a deep trauma after she saw her parents died in the car accident. I know my cousin can be a handful, but please, don't give up on her." Merian said.

Dorian just nodded and headed off.

Dorian did not bring his car along to find Gisela in the hardest and most hidden places in the city.

As he was walking along the subway...

He found a cying woman.

With hands on her head and her hair covering her face.

Her hairs are tangled and all over the place.

Her skin's full of dirt.

When Dorian tried to look at the woman's face, he was shocked.

It was Gisela.

He brought the woman home and cleaned her up.

She fell asleep crying.

As soon as the woman woke up, she said she's gonna use the toilet.

"You sure you can stand?" Dorian asked. The woman just mindlessly nodded.

Dorian thought to check on Gisela when she's taking too long.

He did not lose hope until this sight.

He found Gisela lying unconsciously on the bathroom floor.

"Gisela!!!" He lifted the woman and brought her to the nearest hospital.

Dorian waited for hours for a doctor to come up to him and say that Gisela's okay.

"A-are you with her?" Dorian nodded as the doctor approached him.

"I'm doctor Ariel James Devant, Psychologist." The doctor introduced himself.

"We did not ask for a Psychologist, we need a Physician to have Gisela checked!!!" Dorian almost lost it.

"She's not physically sick. Not until now. We have pulled up a few counselling records of Gisela. In fact, I was her batchmate in Med-school, she quit and did not finish Med-school. So she just continued being a nurse. Because of her parent's car crash, her parents died in front of her in a car accident. She then became my first patient. I have checked on Gisela a few times and she never went back to the clinic afterwards. She's so indenial that something's physically wrong with her and insistent that she's nearing death, that she shuts down people who wanna have her checked by a professional or by any doctor. She has been diagnosed with constant fear of death that it lead to a severe case of anxiety." Doctor James said.

Dorian was not able to process what's happening and could not speak.

"People who has Thanatophobia, would not like to talk about death for it has caused them depression. On her case, it's different. For that's the only thing she wanna focus and talk about out of fear. Like her whole entire world revolves on the thought that she might, oh sorry, that she 'WILL' die. She already decided that for herself. Anxiety took a toll on her that her brain was mentally pausing because of too much stress, overwhelming worry, overthinking and unshown worry, sometimes this can cause nausea and problems with balancing." The same doctor continued talking.

"Maybe this is the reason why she 'slipped' in the bathroom. She lost consciouness in the bathroom because she might have hit her head on the floor. Now, there's internal bleeding, we need to have an operation ASAP to prevent brain mass. You have to prepare because the operation is risky, after that, she may go under a few days, weeks or even months in coma. Worst case is never to wake up." Another doctor spoke.

"My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is doctor Jessie Ulysis Voltaire. Neurologist and Physicist." He introduced.

After that, they all worked on Gisela's operation.

They spent hours to finish it and what they said was true...

Gisela fell into a coma for weeks now and counting.

Dorian held the woman's hand in his...

He got a Pig and a Dinosaur stuffed-toy that he put on the hospital bed beside her.

"Do you remember this Dear Piggy? You're Dinosaur's here to wake you up. You're my nurse. You shouldn't be lying there for a long time, at that bed. You're supposed to be the one who's taking care of me." Dorian said.

The woman was just unresponsive.

She was still deep asleep.

"You should have told me what you're going through. I should have understand. A-are you punishing me for loving you so much?" He said, sheding tears as he kissed the back of Gisela's hand.

#Youtube

[boysandsuicide]

1-100 😜

First of also sorry for my English. I know it’s bad 🙄 these are actually hella fucking cute y'all1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?Idk. Idon’t eat often cereal haha2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?Sometimes yes , but mostly not 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?Starbucks Card , handkarechiefs, paper uns other stuff 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I love black coffe, but also with milk and suggar. Same with tea . Like it depends in what mood I am and which kind of coffe/Tee it is.5: are you self-conscious of your smile?No 6: do you keep plants?Nope. I even made a cactus die😂7: do you name your plants?No 🤔8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?I think none. Just tumblr haha9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Yes, but only when no one is around10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I have like 1000 different sleep positions every night 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?I don’t have really good friends, but the most ones are about people from school in Russian 12: what’s your favorite planet?Never thought about it 13: what’s something that made you smile today?A friend,whom I don’t know very long ,but I really like haha14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?I think like a ikea catalog 😂15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!Uranus is tilted on its side16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?I think Bolognese but this also depends on my mood . All in all I love food and eat nearly everything 🙄 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?Platin blond ,but many said ,that it would look good and so i didn’t dare18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I think there’s nothing 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I don’t habe one . I just draw or write something during school,when I’m bored af 20: what’s your favorite eye color?I depends on the person but I like grey-green 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t have one 22: are you a morning person?Definitely not 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Netflix , sleeping or reading 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?There’s somebody from tumblr whom I don’t know a very long time , but I think one day I could tell him everything 25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?None 26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?It changes like every ½ year , but now it are my black vans 27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Purple airwaves 28: sunrise or sunset?Both but I like more sunsets. Sunrise it too early in the morning 29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?Idk haha30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?I get often scared ,but i remember , when I was small and I was flying somewhere and there was turbulence and I thought that we will all die haha31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.I like socks because they’re covering foot but I have only black and white ones and yes I do sleep with socks 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.I don’t remember something happened while I was with friends after 3AM. This even didn’t happened often 33: what’s your fave pastry?I love cake but I’m working at bakery so I don’t really like pastry 🙄34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?It was called karkusha(Russian ) it was a bird puppet and I got it on a flight and my grandmother always played with me. It’s somewhere in our flat but idk where 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?Nope 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Idk haha 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I like it when my room is clean but I’m a messy person 38: tell us about your pet peeves!I don’t have pet :((((39: what color do you wear the most? Black, than white and grey 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I got and gold chain from my grandmother , but I’m not wearing it because it breaks often and it doesn’t really having a meaning from me . Only that it’s from my grandmother 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?Scythe and night school 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!Starbucks 😍😍😍😍43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?I never did this but i want to :(44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Idk. Last time I felt , that I can be who I am , was with a friend ( I hope is one , because ideally like him , we just don’t know eachother for a long time ) His name is Noel and he also has tumblr 🙄 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I depends on the situation but often i do 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Idk hahaha47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Oysters . I hate it and the smell 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Spiders , falling somewhere down from a high place - I’m still afraid of both today; dying - I’m not afraid anymore of dying 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?Nope and it was a long time ago I bought one so idk 50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Different stuff but I collect flight tickets but I lose them in my room 😂 and I collect nearly everything 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?There’s no52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Too many 😂 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I watched None of them 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?I think some school-friends on Friday - we got our certificate 55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?Idk 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?It depends on if like Theo person or not . But I like when someone truly smiles a lot and cares about someone 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I like this song and it made me fell like sad or something like that but also happy haha🙄58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?And again no friends haha59: what’s your favorite myth?There’s no . But maybe aliens ?🤔🤔60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I like Russian poetry . Pushkin 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I got many stupid ones and gave many stupid ones , but I think the stupidest givt was a bottle opener which looked like a bottle cover haha but again I am/ wasn’t invited often to birthdays or something like that 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?Nope . I’m allergic against fruits 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?Nope I’m not . Just put like the first , second etc. Part of a book series together 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?It’s dark blue/ black . At home 65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? Yes a girl who I know a long time but we like drifted apart and a boy from tumblr whom I saw some days ago ( I know it’s not a long time, but I miss him)66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Pollen allergy 😂67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I like them when I’m st home with a hot drink and read book/ watch Netflix or a good friend is around me and you can talk about deep topics haha68: what’s winter like where you live? Like shit . It’s rainy and maybe there’s snow for 2 minutes but then it melts :(. But it’s typical german winter and it’s often „very called“69: what are your favorite board games? I like monopoly70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope 71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?I love bubble tea , but also black , green tea or some with fruits . It’s depends on my mood. 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?Sone things yes . Some I will still remember in 100 years 73: what are some of your worst habits?There to many . Some of them : I am very annoying and clinging 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.I don’t have good friends (now)75: tell us about your pets!I wanna a cat since I’m 5 years old but allergy :( but it’s one of my biggest wish which will never come true 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?Homework, learning 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Both 🤔78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Definitely Fanclub 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?Hugged me a long time , cared about me , wrote me a very long and cute birthday text me 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?White and grey . I wanted something normal and I like the colours black , white and grey 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.I don’t remember they’re eyes and eye colour😂82: are/were you good in school?Im good but not good Enough for me and my mom . My average is 1,8 but I wanna 1,5 or better 83: what’s some of your favorite album art?Idk 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I wanna a tattoo but Idk which one . Maybe something with rose(s)85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don’t 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Yes I do but idk which ones 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Idk. It depends on what kind of movies the person likes 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Idk Hahahaha89: are you close to your parents?I don’t know my father . I hate my stepfather and don’t talk to him but I’m also not close to my mom 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.I love Moscow . It’s besutiful af and it’s big and it’s like full of live and not dead in the night and I just love it 91: where do you plan on traveling this year?Moscow92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?I drown my pasta into cheese . There’s never too much cheese 🤷🏻‍♂️93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Idk how it’s called haha 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?I think the brother of a school friend 95: what are your plans for this weekend?My plans were sleeping as long as I want ,Netflix and homework because I have to get better grades 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?Mostly I procrastinate on them a lot 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Intp, Lion , idk haha but Irving the one Harry Potter was in 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I don’t remember it and I don’t want to and I hate it . So please never talk about it again 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.Leer-KC Rebell Hold on -chord overstreet Take on the world -you me at sixMAD world - Riverdale cast Many from little peep , kizaru, troye Sivan and russ

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?I think the future one . Like I wanna know how my future will be. Will I be still alive ? Will I be happy ? Will I reach some of my goals ? But on the other hand I also wanna be surprised but life etc.

BTW I needed nearly an hour to answer so questions but I think no one will read everything haha. But I you did , maybe you can message me 🤔

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

#bnha au #bnha #villains hero au #villain all might #all might #midoriya izuku #midoriya #deku #katsuki bakugou #toshinori yagi #yagi #midoriya inko #dadmight #david shield #melissa shield #mha #boku no hero

[gayghosttt]

I wanna hear your answers to your questions thingie ☺️

Thank you I am avoiding studying for 3 finals rn lmao

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal, I do not like milk at all it makes me feel sick Every time lmao

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Y e s I love being cold

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? mm usually a sticky note

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I don’t really like tea but I usually have some kind of cold coffee or with cream and 2 sugar if its hot

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?  mmm kind of yes

6: do you keep plants? I don’t currently have any but I love having them

7: do you name your plants?  yes!!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? currently more words than visual art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes, I mostly do it in my head though

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?  I almost always sleep on my left side but I sometimes sleep on my right side or back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? long boy, CRACKS PANTS, What if i was Straight

12: what's your favorite planet? mm I actually don’t know a whole lot about any of them but I think neptune is Very pretty

13: what's something that made you smile today? my friend paige and I sent each other christmas cards and I got hers in the mail today!!

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? there would be his nerdy video game stuff Everywhere and my books and movies everywhere and a little bit of glitter on everything lmao

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it is quiet Everywhere in space

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? lasagna is the actual love of my life

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?  BLUE OR DARK PURPLE

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I do alot of dumb things lmao but last semester when I lived in a residence hall with my friends i was always shouting IM GAY down the hallway or kicking my leg up high to put it on the window ledge

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I am very forgetful so I never keep a journal or sketchbook consistently 

20: what's your favorite eye color? brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. I don’t really have a bag that’s lasted a super long time but my little blue makeup bag used to be my sister’s and I’ve been using it since high school 

22: are you a morning person? If I’ve slept enough then yes but when I have classes at 8 am,, no

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?  sleep in and watch movies

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? mmm probably Steven? He knows most of them already

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? THE CHURCH PARKING LOT WE GOT LOCKED INTO TOGETHER AT NIGHT

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? I rotate between like 3 pairs but I have some beat up black high tops I’ve had since high school that I love

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? usually just minty gum

28: sunrise or sunset?  sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? steven calls me everytime he’s driving home from school and we always say I love you before hanging up its gay and i love him v much

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. okay I get judged for it alot but I wear socks 24/7 I have Too many socks and theyre all cute and yes I wear socks to bed and I wear them all the fricking time I am uncomfy being barefoot

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. Nothing recently but last semester I used to stay up until like 4 am with alot of my friends watching movies and one time like 10 of us watched star wars and had snacks and had a big cuddle pile sleepover on the floor

33: what's your fave pastry? chocolate croissants 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? mm I have a bunch still bc alot of them were given to me by someone sepcial/ for special reasons and one of my favorites is a pink bear with a dodgers hat that was from my dad when I was a kid

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do! If I have stationary I’ll use it to send people mail

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? currently I’m listening to lana del rey and its fitting

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?  I am an organized messy person so I am like half and half

38: tell us about your pet peeves! when people invite themselves over/ just show up without asking, opening doors without knocking, chewing with your mouth open

39: what color do you wear the most? black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I have a black ring I wear everyday that was from my sister and it makes me think of her since we don’t currently live in the same house while im at college

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? How to remodel a man by w. bruce cameron, I found it at the library and got it just bc it sounded like a funny title and it was genuinely the funniest book I’ve ever read I loved it 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Either 85 degrees down the street from me bc its really cute and the chocolate bread there is Amazing or coffee bean in my city cause it has a v nice atmosphere and the baristas all know my sister so they’re really friendly

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? I have no idea actually

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? ???????????

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?  I try to

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.  earlier Aaron and I were roasting Morrissey and I said that when moz cancels shows/doesnt show up bc he’s sick its like he just sneezes once and then he’s like,,, oh my god am I,,, Still Ill

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?  tuna

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? I don’t really remember tbh

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes!! last record was the Uni single release and its clear and v cool and the last cd was a paul mccartney one i think 

50: what's an odd thing you collect? pins mostly

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? I associate alot of music with a lot of people but one song that reminds me of you is little queenie by sad girl

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?  the one of the white guy making a confused face is maybe my fav

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? rocky and heathers and beetlejuice yes and I love them all v much, I watched pulp fiction once at like 3 am and i slept through alot of it by accident so I cannot give an accurate opinion

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my sister

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? im not sure but my middle name is dramatic So

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? when they genuinely want to know about how your day was, when they remember something you said a long time ago, when they bring you something out of the blue because they know you like it

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? yes alsways it is one of the best songs ever

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?  I don’t currently have a solid Group of friends but between us I would say you are probably wine mom and i am vodka aunt lmao

59: what's your favorite myth? I love a lot but rn I love the loch ness monster 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yes but currently none are coming to mind lmao

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? sometimes I give steven glitter bc i love it and he Hates it lmao but I’m not sure if I’ve ever really gotten a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope, usually just water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? organized, not necessarily alphabetical or anything but I like things by the same author or artist to be together 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? alot of my high school and college pals

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? mmm probably a lot of dark red roses and little white flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? kinda depends but usually I like them

68: what's winter like where you live? usually cold and kinda rainy but lately its still in the 80s and hot

69: what are your favorite board games? bingo always

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no and I Maybe would??

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not super into tea but i don’t mind green tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?  v much so

73: what are some of your worst habits? procrastinating, leaving water bottles on the floor, ignoring instructions 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they have brown hair and glasses and really pretty eyes and live in another country and are so sweet and remind me of a little fox

75: tell us about your pets! I don’t have any but my siblings both have fish and barry is my fav little guppy even though he’s a rude drama queen

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? studying for my finals

77: pink or yellow lemonade? both but I like pink alot

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? h a t e

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? one of my friends used to make me mixtape cds alot

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? at college they’re just white bc its a dorm but at home they’re blue and my dad and I painted them secretly one summer lmao

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. looks like the inside of a blue gelpen

82: are/were you good in school? I try to be, I’ve always had a hard time in math and science classes but I’m good with artsy and english classes

83: what's some of your favorite album art? I have,,, to many to pick from

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? currently no? I’m very indecisive so I’m not sure what I would get bc I would want it to have a special meaning

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? not really but I wouldn’t mind

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? probably alot but ziggy stardust and sgt pepper come to mind first

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? eraserhead, big fish, and casablanca

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? mmm yes probably alot but rn I really like zines

89: are you close to your parents? my dad yes my mom is very up and down

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. I really love the Manhattan Beach area it’s always made me really happy since I was a kid something about it just always feels welcoming and familiar to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? not sure

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? depends on the pasta but generally I like alot of cheese

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? It’s always the same fluffy messy curly besides when I put it up in a little ponytail sometimes

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my friend tori from high school

95: what are your plans for this weekend? going back home and Finally sleeping alot

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? it usually takes me about a week to finally stop being lazy and do them

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? I think I was ensj or insj or something like that last time i checked, I’m a gemini and I have no idea about my hogwarts house lmao

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? probably a few years ago and it was pretty okay

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. there are a Lot but lust for life by the band girls always reminds me of myself and i’m listening to flatsound rn and alot of his music hits me hard bc I feel like that alot

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? as much as I would like to have things back from my past I would probably say future, I’d like to skip ahead a bit to when some things have changed and are hopefully better

[shutupandblog]

cute tags

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? // more milk! 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? // YES OMG YES. 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? // forks, notes, socks....anything I find in that moment... 4: how do you take your coffee/tea? // tea: just with water. coffee: flavoured creamer.... 5: are you self-conscious of your smile? // YEAH. 6: do you keep plants? // my mom forces her plants onto me so I have unexpected children to take care of. 7: do you name your plants? // no, I'll feel bad if I forget their names. 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? // songwriting 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? // sing out loud, man. but yeah. 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? // fall asleep on back easiest but wake up on my side. 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? // innovation at its finest, man. 12: what's your favorite planet? // saturn 13: what's something that made you smile today? // finding some of my old songs and realizing that they're not ALL lost. I was a genius in 2014 and backed it up on usb wow 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? // open concept omf hit me with the natural light and big windows. no walls. big kitchen. no curtains. piano. hardwood. pictures in frames. 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! // "The Apollo astronauts' footprints on the moon will probably stay there for at least 100 million years." Source: https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&ved=0ahUKEwji75-ZwYXXAhWqxFQKHSroDssQFggxMAI&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmashable.com%2F2014%2F03%2F05%2Fsun-stars-space-facts%2F&usg=AOvVaw2BqM1yEL36GBccqMtEtOWs) 16: what's your favorite pasta dish? // i don't normally eat pasta so every time i see pasta i'll take anything. 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? // grey and lavender. 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. // 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? // i keep a lyric dump journal! 20: what's your favorite eye color? // GREEN 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. // my navy backpack was with my throughout high school and ib and i'm still using it in uni, so it's been to hell twice. 22: are you a morning person? // hell no 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? // listen to all my cd's and find new artists...song write...listen to more music... 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? // yes 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? // lol none 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? // threw them out yo 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? // banana  28: sunrise or sunset? // sunrise 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? // my one friend has a habit of crossing her legs and tapping her foot that’s in the air when she listens / hums music and it’s sO CUTE. 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? // yeah. my mom went through a rough time and I hated being awake. 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. // in general: no socks. Weird socks are cool. I usually take off my socks as soon as I walk in through the front door. If I wear songs, they’re ankle length. Can’t do anything higher than that. I hate tights, I don’t do tights. 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. // i literally think we woke up at 4 to watch MAMA 2015 together. 33: what's your fave pastry? // i have no idea....bread pudding served on pie crust and ice cream? 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? // it’s gone. but it was called bonsai and it was a giant ass panda and i miss it. I had to get rid of it because we were moving and its head got ripped off. Or, ripped in half should I say. 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? // I love them but I never indulge in it!!! alkjngakjdfd 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? // my mood right now? omg bts - wings. 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?  // messy. 38: tell us about your pet peeves! // wet bathroom floors, getting my socks wet, sweaty in the winter, when people touch my things and don’t put them back where they are supposed to be so i can’t find it ugh, touching people’s food while doing dishes (SCRAPE YOUR PLATE @ SIBLINGS), people stepping on my shoes, looming too close to me while talking....etc.... 39: what color do you wear the most? // grey, black, pink. 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? // all my jewelry is meaningless bc I bought it all myself. Ahh- I have this one pearl necklace that my grandpa and dad bought for me in china and I haven’t worn it once. 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? // gallagher girls series 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! // i’m not a coffee person 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? // myself a few mornings ago when I was going to my lab and waiting at the bus stop. 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? // when i was in hawaii doing the longest hike of my life and finally reaching the “end” of the island and you could see no city. Just sea lions, turtles and water. Dark stones. Wind. It was just myself and it was quiet and it was so beautiful. I have so many videos. 45: do you trust your instincts a lot? // fuck that shit, I got so many q’s wrong on tests because of it. 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. // gravity sucks. 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? // onions omf 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? // the dark. and yeah. 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? // I LOVE CDs. Last record I bought: paramore- after laughter (i think). 50: what's an odd thing you collect? // cineplex tickets and guitar picks. 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? // my friend S- I associate her with the song “Tokyo Jellybean” by Ingrid St-Pierre. She’s one of my favourite artists. I have never told her this. 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? lol cracking a cold one with the boys bc my psych always opens a pop can in the middle of this lecture (ALL THE TIME) and i just get reminded. 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? only heathers bc my friend showed it to me and I really liked it! 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? // my friend Y. 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? // raised my voice? 56: what are some things you find endearing in people? // being completely absorbed in their work, drinking coffee and looking out the bus window, falling asleep in random places. 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? // uhh i just use this song to check if my right headphone is working lol 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? // wine mom is T and vodka aunt is Y. I mean, if you meet them you’ll know. 59: what's your favorite myth? // im uneducated 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? // i like poetry- short poetry. 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? // I gave cough drops / i received paperclip holders 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? // i’m a morning water person 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? // YEAH I AM. Bookshelf man. 64: what color is the sky where you are right now? // black 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? // no bc if I haven’t seen you in a long time, I’ve probably dropped you. 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? // baby’s breath, blue bells, daisy. 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? // I LIVE FOR THOSE DAYS 68: what's winter like where you live? // either snowy heaven or mushy hell 69: what are your favorite board games? // i’m basic, so monopoly. 70: have you ever used a ouija board? / no 71: what's your favorite kind of tea? // oolong or vanilla something.... 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? // yeah i really need to 73: what are some of your worst habits? // drop my clothes all over the bedroom floor and leave them there.  74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. // a breath of fresh air 75: tell us about your pets! // i had a goldfish once but on the car ride home to my house it died. 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? // STUDYING WTF AM I DOING ANSWERING A 100 QUESTION TAG 77: pink or yellow lemonade? // PINK 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? // i’m a spectator  79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? // painted me fake polaroids and stuck them in a colouring book omg 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? // tan. it’s the colour of my entire house.  81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. // didn’t pass engl man i can’t do this 82: are/were you good in school? // i WAS 83: what's some of your favorite album art? // rise against, fob, volbeat, ingrid st pierre, ts, bts. 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? // i’ve always wanted a roman numeral tattoo but i don’t do commitment. 85: do you read comics? what are your faves? // i only read peanuts and archie as a kid 86: do you like concept albums? which ones? // i only listen to pink floyd ..the wall. 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? // not a movie person. can’t comment. 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? // idk.... 89: are you close to your parents? // sure 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. // tokyo omg god save me 91: where do you plan on traveling this year? // the farthest i’ll get is my bed 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? // barely sprinkles a pinch 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? // up 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? // my auntie 95: what are your plans for this weekend? // this weekend is over and so is my academic career 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? // procrastinate 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? // 1. don’t know, 2. scorpio, 3. ravenclaw 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? // real hike: this summer in hawaii, fake hike: w my friends downtown. I loved both times the same. 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. // Exo- what if/my answer, Taylor- all too well/never grow up, Shawn: running low, Alessia: my song, Bts: sea, Pierre Luc lessard: sans combat 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? // 5 years in the future. The past 5 years have been hard.

I tag: @kabul1998, @iamnotmadamebovary

#tags

[urscottsdale]

1-100 😌

1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol

2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up

3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find

4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏

5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very

6:do you keep plants? nope

7:do you name your plants? nada

8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music

9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes

10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above

11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one

12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto

13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog

14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean

15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉

16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti

17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue

18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh

19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont

20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍

21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag

22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings

23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music

24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho

25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol

26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz

27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28:sunrise or sunset? sunset

29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care

30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes

31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring

32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol

33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts

34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it

35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them

36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys

37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol

38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh

39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)

40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me

41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird

42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…

43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade

44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school

45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup

46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)

47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish

48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually

49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.

50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys

51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars

52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.

53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u

54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol

55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol

56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me

57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope

58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol

59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat

60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe

61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family

62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice

63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be

64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray

65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes

66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns

67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much

68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there

69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol

70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope

71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea

72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot

73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination

74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down

75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy

76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things

77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club

79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me

80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol

81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate

82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy

83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done

84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh

85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope

86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot

87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical

88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes

89:are you close to your parents? yes

90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc

91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best

92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese

93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top

94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me

95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days

96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name

97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff

98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to

99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan

100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.

#thisvanessa #answered

[nodaudaboutitt]

for the get to know the blogger thing: even numbers in the 130 range

OH Boy, this is gunna be a long one

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned?

I have a shirt of a lady wearing a panda mask, it looks really nice and im actually wearing it right now ahaha, also really like my star wars X-Wing hoodie :D4. What does your perfect room look like?

Im not really sure tbh, although it would be nice if there was a little more space and better lighting than my room has. Would love to get some small plants and stuff and some owl related cushions or something6. What fictional place would you like to visit?

Would be interesting to visit Dunwall from Dishonored or one of the many planets in Star Wars, would love to go see a Podrace or something!8. When was the last time you climbed a tree?

2014, its the same time i fell out of a tree and broke my collarbone ahaha10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have?

I check my phone way too much which is kinda annoying to me, although my dad gets really annoyed that i bounce my legs ahaha12. What skill would you like to master?

It would be rad to master a language (Although im on my way to that) or maybe my skating or art14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like?

Honestly i would probably just buy a cozy apartment and get a cat or something, ive never really thought about such before16. What state or country do you never want to go back to?Havent actually got anywhere i would never want to go back to yet 18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in?

As cool as the Metro games are, not that one ahaha. maybe the world of Star Trek or something :D20. Are you usually early or late?

Im usually quite early tbh 22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with?

Not really sure tbh, i cant remember, although people occasionally ask me about assignments or such so there that24. What do you wish you knew more about?

Well cos im finding programming a tad tricky at uni, i would say that, but tbh i would love to know more about astrophysics or anything related to rocketry and piloting !26. What are some small things that make your day better?

A cup of tea in my favourite mug, someone complimenting how i look, my dog saying hi when i get home 28. What’s the best way to start the day?

By slamming my face into the pillow and going back to sleep ahaha, nah i think a relaxed morning with some tea and a nice breakfast or something

30. What TV channel doesn’t exist but really should?

Would be cool to have a channel for all the space exploration stuff, lunno if it would be widely popular or not but i would love to see such 32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently?

Im not really sure tbh 34. What’s your ideal way to spend a weekend?

My ideal weekend is to laze about at home and play videogames, bake some stuff or work on some art. I just feel really comfy at home so being able to relax at home all weekend sounds ideal to me36. What is your claim to fame?

Im not really sure if i have one?38. What’s your favorite book or movie genre?

I really dig science fiction, although with movies i also like the action genre :D40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about?42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of?

I couldnt think of anything people havent really heard of but i really enjoy reading about early nasa, so stuff like the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs44. What’s the best book series or TV series you’ve ever read or watched?

I think at the moment, the best Tv series for me is Band of Brothers46. What’s the most heartwarming thing you’ve ever seen?

Those videos of people meeting family or friends in the airport that live really far away, everyone is so happy in those and its really nice :D48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation?

I could probably give a presentation on ww2 or the moon missions, not 100% accurate or super detailed but yeah, well that or the Lore of various games and movies i like50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

Travel, just seeing somewhere new, the journey and exploration involved, its really cool :D52. What’s your dream car?absolutely no clue54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don’t get?

Game of Thrones, that new show on netflix56. Where is the most interesting place you’ve been?When i lived in England i went to the transport museum and also the various imperial war museums, those were absolutely fantastic. Over here in straya though? probably the top of sydney harbour bridge, that was pretty gnarly58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week?

Well i just got my grade back for my programming assignment and i got 70% :D60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have?

Im not sure, although at the moment im studying game design at uni so i would probably go for that anyway ahaAlthough if there was an opportunity it would be cool to become an astronaut or ww2 historian62. How different was your life 1 year ago?

Well i couldnt ice skate, i wasnt doing a degree, i think i was in  somewhat crappier state than i am now. But things have been improving over the last few years :)64. What would you rate 10/10?

Ahh im not good at rating or ranking anything, i guess the new star wars? (Rogue one)66. What is the most interesting piece of art you’ve seen?

Im not really sure, i dont think ive been to see art in ages, although i really like the art my friend @echey does! its super awesome stuff!68. What do you hope never changes?

My ability to find good in a bad situation70. What movie title best describes your life?I cant even think of one tbh72. What’s the best way a person can spend their time?Just do what you enjoy i guess74. Where is the most relaxing place you’ve ever been?

Botanical gardens in adelaide are really nice, dont go there too often but theyre relaxing as heck76. Where would you rather be from?

As much as i talk shit about england, i dont think id want to be from anywhere else78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months?New alien movie, end of first semester, turn 20 next month, Dunkirk movie, lots of cool stuff :D80. What one thing do you really want but can’t afford?Either a trip overseas or all those games that i have on my wishlist rn82. Where would you spend all your time if you could?Im not sure tbh, i guess anywhere i feel comfortable?84. What age do you want to live to?ahh thats a tough one, i guess in my 20′s? 86. What are you absolutely determined to do?

Get through my degree and get a job in my chosen field88. What do you wish you knew more about?theres so much i wish i knew more about ;-;90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person??? iunno dude92. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?iunno? any compliment is nice to me :D94. Who inspires you to be better?nothing comes to mind but im sure theres someone :/96. What haven’t you grown out of?my favourite tshirt ahaha 98. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve done that actually turned out pretty well?no bloody clue but im sure it was absolutely stupid aha100. What’s something you will never do again?climb a tree and break my collarbone102. What keeps you up at night?my messed up sleep schedule mainly, although those weird night time depressed moods get ya too 104. What is the most illegal thing you’ve ever done?probably underage drinking106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you?a worthless shithead108. What do you look down on people for?being absolute wankers, although in my degree the thing i really look down on is those people that are like “How did you not get that? its easy!” or generally act like a know it all and give you shit over coding, like chill out lads and help each other110. What lie do you tell most often?im fine, im not tired, im used to it, ill be fine,  couldnt think of one so heres the top ones i can think off112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older?Can buy what you want, but worst thing is that the older you get, the more youre looked down on for being unemployed114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it?probably a kickass dragon!!116. What is the biggest lesson you’ve learned?

Don’t procrastinate/ set your deadline a day or two early and start early so if you do procrastinate, it would fuck you up as bad118. What are you famous for among your friends & family?I think with friends im mostly famous for random history (Mainly ww2) facts and at home im mostly known for my shitty humour i think ahaha120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn’t have?122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self?Don’t give a shit about what others might think, just do what makes you happy and be how you feel you should124. What’s the best thing about you?My terrible humour, my optimism 126. Have you ever saved someone’s life?Who knows?128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like?Like a reverse image of me? nah ahaha probably a massive asshole, but at the same time theyre probably putting them self first and their happiness so iunno130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it?Got a massive scar over my right collarbone, had to get surgery on it when i broke it and so now ive got a metal plate in my body aha

thank you for the ask!!

#hockey-downunder