So… My biological father passed away yesterday. I haven’t had a relationship with him since I was 6 years old and I’m now 32. His sisters, my aunts, who I don’t even remember but we’re friends on Facebook are the ones that told me he passed. He wasn’t part of my life, I have an amazing stepdad who raised me, and my aunt’s are trying to get a reaction out of me. I don’t feel anything, it’s just another day in my life, I felt a greater loss when Kobe Bryant passed away and they’re not getting it. I’m more annoyed that my father’s passing is what it takes for that side of my family to reach out to me.
To anyone who has read the Wings series by Aprilynne Pike~
I read the first 2 books when I was about 13 years old, but didn’t have much of an interest in finishing the series or just forgot about it. I decided to do a reread this week so I could finish the series. And oh. My. Gosh.
If you’ve read this series before or are looking into it— the first few books are so deceiving. I always thought these books were light hearted and simple. But shit absolutely hits the fan in the fourth and final book (the fifth is more of a spin off). I don’t think it hit me until afterwards just how serious things got. And now, hours after finishing the last book, I’m still sitting here in a book coma and crying.
I was okay until I read David’s letter and read the fifth book. Then I broke.
Damn this series for being so deceivingly innocent, and then breaking my heart :(
Ah it’s one of those nights where wanting to delete my Tumblr and disappear completely is just so fucking tempting
should i trust the cake that this old lady evangelical christian neighbor just gave to me? probably not.,. am i high as fuck and gonna eat it anyways?? yes sir
also she has given us other treats during the holidays so…hopefully its fine…..
once, she even fucking fell really hard after she handed us the gift and we struggled to get her back up on her feet for like thirty minutes..
I’m reading some stories on people that had severe cases of covid-19 saying that they ended up losing a lot of weight within only a few days. At least I have something to look forward to when I catch the virus because let’s face it we’re all eventually are going to become infected at some point.
I’m back from the dead. Still wrecked after TROS. A bit anxious atm. Like. I have so much shit I wanna do in my life, but I feel like I have to pick one bc I don’t have enough time to do it all. And I feel like I don’t have any close friends, especially with isolation. I’ve talked to literally one person in the last week or two. I keep feeling bad for not reaching out to people, but then I remember they haven’t reached out to me, either. Which makes me automatically assume that they don’t care, which I know is probably ridiculous, but that’s automatically where by brain goes. Ugh I hate this.
Really wish I could just completely block & cutout someone from my social media and life but I know it’ll cause dramaaaaaa
And I hate drama and I’m not really confrontational and yeah.
u know when ur hands r cold n u try and hold a pencil or draw but ur hands are all weird n stiff n clumsy…. my hands r doing tht rn its annoying im not even cold :(
I love cooking, but I hate chopping onions.
welp. i have to work tomorrow and my boss just informed me that we are out of hand sanitizer and latex gloves and we don’t know when we’re getting more. luckily there’s still soap so i guess i’ll just have to remember to not touch my face and wash my hands as often as possible. i don’t have a choice because i need the money.
this is what the idiocy of hoarding causes. those of you who bought up everything in bulk are safe in your house behind a barricade of toilet paper and hand sanitizer while those of us who are out here risking our health have nothing to protect us.
I’ve been rewatching Daredevil and I just don’t understand why Karen and Foggy be getting so mad at Matt. Like if they were truly his friends I think they’d fully understand why he so desperately needs to be Daredevil. I mean I’m not sure why they can’t understand that Matt hears so much suffering everywhere all the freaking time! Like they’ve got to have some sympathy for that fact. And on top of that they get mad when they realize Matt let them believe he was dead. Although Foggy did defend him talking about how he feels apart of Matt did die. And Foggy is right. Part of Matt did die there. Electra did. Matt’s first true love died again, and there was nothing he could do about it. And now Matt isn’t all there. He’s questioning his faith. He’s depressed because he survived and Electra didn’t, and now his abilities aren’t there, and he doesn’t know his purpose anymore. Then he gets his abilities back and the first thins he hears is that Wilson Fisk is out of prison. This man responsible for a lot of Hell’s Kitchen’s tragedies is now out and in this luxury hotel. That angers Matt, and now he’s hallucinating Fisk and is under the impression that he had to go against his past beliefs and kill this man, which would only make him as bad as every bad guy he puts away. Then he visitsFoggy talking nothing but nonsense about how he shouldn’t have let himself be happy essentially. Foggy ask “Do you hear yourself?” The answer is “No Foggy, he doesn’t hear himself he hears Fisk in his head telling him that he’s failed everyone he’s ever loved and that it’s his fault and how he’s failed to stop the suffering of Hell’s Kitchen. He hears Fisk telling him only what his subconscious believes, so no he’s not hearing himself Foggy, and he’s not all there atm either.” Surely Karen and Foggy have to see this, and if they don’t, not only does it make them as blind as Matt, but someone should tell them.
Day 20 of xxx
The first few weeks of this enhanced community quarantine has really been tough (especially here in metro manila). No words can describe how exhausted and frustrated medical workers are; hospitals are understaffed, PPEs are limited, patients coming in and out who are sometimes inconsiderste like coming in to ED with headache with 3/10 pain scale at 2am and complains why do we let them wait for hours 🙄 While others are critically ill, either intubated or in respiratory distress waiting in ED for atleast 2-3days for isolation room availability. Some even deteriorate prior to transfer and it makes us more frustrated because Emergency Department is limited when it comes to critical care compared to what is offered in ICU (also given the influx of patients).
Some of us even choose to stay at the quarters provided by the hospital to limit interaction with family members. N95 masks and the gowns we wear leave scratches on our face and skin, acnes grow everywhere, experiencing impaired sleeping pattern, getting back, leg, chest, body pain and all the kind of pain you can ever imagine; it may be physical or mental.
To all those who are asking, we are not okay. But we are trying, because you and I have no other choice 😅 this is our job, this is what we’re good at and we have to stand up to this.
I just can’t wait for this to end and be able to pursue plans which were put on hold.
Can I have a beer? ☹️
do i draw gerry in high heeled boots or platform boots….
do not understand the amount of posts mentioning or discussing a blatant triggering subject such as rape, and then in the tags they put #ask to tag ??? like I’m sure, if you’re reblogging the post, chances are you read it. just put rape tw or rape mention or something along those lines instead of asking for someone who could possibly be negatively affected by it, to have to ask you to put a warning??? if you can type ask to tag, you can type a tw.
***** this may be a trigger for some people so if you struggle with depression and self harm dont read*****
Something I’ve learned in my 26 years of life is that I am the problem. I get kicked out of my dads house? It’s not because his girlfriend has such an issue with a 15 year old that she wants to punch her no I’m the problem. I have a hoe phase because 1. Fuck it men are easy and 2. I was called down my entire life by my family thinking I will never be good enough for anyone so at the slightest show of any affection from anyone I jumped at it, I’m the problem. I get called a hoe by my mom and brother because said hoe phase and immediately slash my wrists (which I had been doing since I was 8 years old because I have issues and no one noticed until this point) I’m the fucking problem! I get kicked out of my moms house because I skipped school (again yes I have issues I got bored easily and didnt like sitting in classes getting talked down to by teachers) and again I’m the problem. I get called fat by my mom and brother (I was 115 maybe and 5'11") I got mad, but i was the problem. I have one opinion about my brothers anger issues because hes scary sometimes and I’m the fucking problem. I was an alcoholic at a very young age I slit my wrists from 8-19 I got addicted to literally anything that took me out of my own head because I was the problem so I didn’t even want to be myself. I’m clean now and safe now I havent cut myself in years, I am 3 years clean and havent gotten drunk in over a year but I’m still the problem.
Call out post to Wattpad
Wattpad, you can ruin my stories with your dumb ass adds after each chapter…
You can ruin my once personalized homepage to the point where I never want to go there anymore…
BUT YOU WILL NOT, AND I MEAN WILL NOT FUCKING TOUCH MY LIBRARY!
HOW DARE YOU MAKE IT TO WHERE IF I WANNA READ MORE THAN 3 STORIES OFFLINE I’VE GOTTA PAY! HOW DARE YOU!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ANYTHING OFFLINE?!?
I’ve been on your god damn platform sense I was in 3rd grade….how dare you…
I’ve grown really attached with two stories recently because for Wattpad stories they were actually pretty good, & I hadn’t really been active with it! BUT I GO TO LOG IN AND AM GREETED TO MY LIBRARY IN THAT GOD FORSAKING MESS?!?! IN SHAMBLES?!?? Fuck you Wattpad…fuck you…thats low even for you…
I thought you were bae…turns out you were just fam….
been thinking about this and while it’s not something i claim to be well versed in, i realize i need to be careful about drawing a line between prosperity gospel and spiritual encouragement. it’s a necessary thing to remember that while God is faithful and cares for us deeply, He was not obligated to forgive us. on my own, I’m nowhere near worthy of His love, let alone His pardon. scripture compares our good works to filthy rags, meaning my efforts at pleasing Him are by nature, an embarrassment. without His help, i can only do so much (of which He must allow), and without His will, i’ll be looking for satisfaction everywhere.
but it’s important to remember that things included under the umbrella of self care aren’t necessary bad in of themselves. it’s when those things (physical health, financial success, comfortability) become a fixation is where i’ve seen Christians lose sight of the real pursuit. and it’s something i’ve struggled with, wanting to be successful and fit, wanting to feel empowered. it’s not wrong to want to grow in these areas but it’s easy to forget our time on earth should not be centered around personal happiness. yes! joy and peace come from the Father and are good gifts indeed, and yes! mental health is important. coming from someone with an anxiety disorder, i often just wish the fear and nausea would disappear instead of coming in waves.
the distinction, i think, i’m seeing is western Christians especially feel the need to compete for success in terms of earthly possessions or favor. God is not the means to this end, but He is the greatest end Himself. knowing Him and His love is the greatest thing we could ever hope for
My school‘s had online exams for years now, and yet their „mock/trial“ online exam failed like?????? I don‘t get it cause what‘s the difference with how we normally do our exams???????? The school that used paper exams successfully managed to give online exams and you can‘t? Or are you just soooooooooooo afraid that the students will cheat that‘s why you don‘t want us to have online exams? You really should trust and HAVE FAITH (since y‘know that‘s the sort of bullshit your school loves to espouse) in your students
I can’t help it. I’ve always worn my heart on my sleeve.
All of what’s happening is not good on our mental health.