i feel so unwanted.
i’ve mostly been able to deal with what happened to cas because i genuinely completely expected what they did to him but not ever did i think they would treat dean like that in the finale… they really said he only way for dean, a character with repeated suicidal tendencies, to be happy is for him to be dead. and they killed him off the SECOND he finally had a chance for a story where he can be happy, where he could live a life He gets to choose. a story where where he Doesn’t Have To Die.
If I had my ask feature enabled I would have receive at least 10 rape threats by now. When men/“transwomen” open their mouths, I already know what they’re going to say. All women already know what all men want to say to us, especially when there’s a screen to hide behind. I already know you want to rape me and I already know you want to kill me. And it’s not because you disagree with my stance. My stance is just the symptom. The reason is because I told you my stance, I told you my reality, and then I didn’t apologise for it afterward.
Went to my moms and wound up having a nice day. We went to the craft store and to target. But it was crowded and there were too many people there and my clothes didn’t fit right and it was annoying and distracting and I’m tired and I still can’t nice my goddamn ducking body and it’s infuriating. I just got home. Got undressed. Collapsed into bed. My boyfriend asked what’s up but I aggressively said that I just need like a minute to compose myself. That was several minutes ago lol but no matter. He’s understanding. I’m lucky. I’m so tempted to say I don’t deserve him. Or any good things. But Ike where is this self-hate coming from??? I should just breathe. Watch a YouTube asmr video. Put a comfier shirt on. And write for a while. I just want to gather my thoughts. I want to feel collected.
I realised the uni I’m likely going to to do an English degree DOESNT have English A Level as a requirement. And this girl I don’t particular like from college who didn’t do well in English told me she’s likely going to apply for it.
And that just makes me feel a little ‘over qualified’ if you get what I mean? Not to sound vain. But I’ve been writing since I was a kid, took English A Level because I love English and wanted every chance to get into the degree at uni, received my A*s and As and I got an unconditional offer within hours after my interview.
I genuinely thought it was just because they liked me and thought I was good lmao but now I’m thinking it’s because they would accept literally ANYONE.
Like. Is this an understandable worry? I was stressing between two unis - one of them more prestigious so harder and further away - but I chose the other one because I know it’ll be easier on my mental health etc but damn guys I want to go FAR after uni and I don’t want to be studying with people who got Ds in English.
We have been getting reports of people being judged being justified by religion.
Nowhere in the Bible does it say you can’t wear knee high boots with spikes. However, you know what it does say?
LOVE THY FREAKIN’ NEIGHBOR!
But I guess we’re just going to ignore that, huh?
Because that dirty glare you’re giving the waitress with the pride pin doesn’t look like love to me.
Here’s a list of things you aren’t going to hell for:
1. Who you love - as long as you love them well and healthily.
2. What you wear - as long as it doesn’t spread hate or fear.
3. What you eat - as long as your body is well taken care of.
4. Who you are - as long as you take pride in what you have and what you are born with.
5. Where you’re from - as long as you don’t hate people from another country on the basis of the past or location.
Here’s a list of things you are going to hell for:
1. SPREADING HATE, VIOLENCE, MISINFORMATION, SUPERIORITY, OR ANYTHING THAT BRINGS DOWN SOMEONE ELSE WHO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG.
The only reason so many younger people are atheists are because the only way they have seen religion used is for hate.
When did THAT become a part of religion?
Yeah, thought so.
Hear that, Sharon?
It’s the sound of you SHUTTING THE HECK UP.
Silence is sweet, isn’t it?
Y’all love talking about “Support artists” but us writers can apparently go fuck ourselves really.
I spend days of my time writing and keep a consistent upload schedule yet I’m lucky if I get a handful of notes and any reviews at all but here’s the thing, I know I’m good at what I do, I know that this isn’t a quality thing.
I’ve got over 500 followers and less than a dozen of you reblog my work? Nah fuck off, why are you even here? From now on if you try to interact with me without first reblogging my work it’s a block.
My time isn’t free and you get to waste it.
If you don’t contact me for weeks with no reason, and then say you missed me when *I* reach out, then I’m simply not going to take you very seriously. That’s not how relationships work.
I am like. .1 % native american and i consider myself white because its barely even there and i am clearly white and i have white privilege obviously. I dont have the experience of being native american because i grew up in a white household. I dont know anything really. But the fact that america celebrates this “holiday” is sincerely fucked up. The fact that we try to make it look like the colonizers and natives got along, and try to pretend the colonizers didn’t abuse and take away a land that was not rightfully theirs is fucked up. I know I’m a day late to say this but still. Yesterday I had to pose for my family and pretend like i was having fun at our socially distanced thanksgiving dinner.
I really hope that someday america will realize how fucking stupid and racist this “holiday” is and stop trying to reclaim it. It’s fucking racist as shit. Native Americans don’t like this holiday. It’s just for non native people to celebrate supposedly being thankful.
originally my fic, Hey, Micah was supposed to be around 90 chapters long with all of them in letter format, barely 600 words every letter.
i found out it wasn’t working so i improvised a bit and added a few chapters, making it go to 105 planned chapters.
however, my writing didn’t develop with it and i was not able to show character development through these. it was a hot mess, really.
the characters and the word counts weren’t ata kk satisfactory. i was barely even going past 500. and i realised 105 freaking chapters is way too long for my lazy self to write.
so i cut down on my chapters and changed the main plot a little while carefully designing the layout that finally came to be actually accepted as a good one by my brain.
now im at 60-70 planned long satisfactory word count included chapters and a super amazing plot (i think)
this was my first serious project that i carefully crafted around twenty chapters of, even if in palettes format.
i will always have that feeling if not being able to write the letter novelette with this plot but i guess i have to move on from it.
i have this feeling it’s gonna be great, this one.
Actual Mood …
Im two seconds away from writing a fuckin essay on grinch adaptations and how much they contort the original message of the movie
@ user oohsehun drop some long haired selfies pls 🤲
Okay, but… real talk…
Even if there wasn’t that autism inspo-p**n bullshit movie thing…
Sia is STILL putting Maddie Ziegler in her stuff, and that’s just… I mean… okay, I get it, she’s a talented kiddo (yeah I know some wouldn’t call her a kiddo now, but I’m callin’ her a kiddo. She started working with Sia when she was, like, 11, and I feel like that’s important), and if you need a good dancer for music vids and got one than ya technically don’t have to find new ones. But also… not…? Because Sia HAS had plenty of different actors/dancers/etc in her stuff, and the world is actually full of talented dancers, so while I don’t want to devalue Maddie’s skills (which she must have worked hard to achieve), I’m also feelin’ pretty heckin’… uhhhhh… Sia needs to stop constantly hiring Maddie. I don’t really know much about who Maddie is as a person, but I don’t think it particularly matters with this thing I’m rattlin’ off.
I’m not saying “oh Sia keeps a kid around all the time, she must be a creeper”, what I’m saying is that when you’re an artist, you need to have a sense of awareness in general. Self awareness, and also awareness of your impacts on others. Maddie has been in so many Sia things that it’s kinda gotta be like her image now. I mean that when people look at her, they’re automatically gonna identify her as “the Sia girl”. To be young, and already have someone else so strongly associated with you can be a problem.
A kid… technically got roped into the career/life of a celebrity, and not by family relation, but work… when the kid was a preteen… and is now friggin’… 18?? …and Sia is still apparently in her career?? I’m not sounding crazy here, am I? That’s weird in a bad way, right? Sia is really just totally fine with bein’ a bit absorby, huh…
It’s definitely not what I would call good judgement and artistic integrity on Sia’s part. I can understand logics of “of it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, but in my opinion, if you aren’t seeking personal growth when you’re an artist, and an interest in learning, which often means working with new people, it’s already broke.
I hate mossy cerdae. all my homies hate mossy cerdae. these shits dodged all 4 eliminates I threw at them. dodged the first three. none of the scratches to regain breath. dodged the last one before i refreshed the page. i am angy and hateful
I love that my Grandma tried to guilt trip me about some family zoom they had yesterday for Thanksgiving when literally NO ONE told me about it and they know I don’t use Facebook. Not to mention I was working yesterday as well as today! Let’s not forget that both her and my dad forgot about my birthday which was the 8th, my dad still hasn’t said anything.
I hate to say this and I probably shouldn’t but they both irritate the living hell out of me and always have because of how they’ve treated me. My grandma literally cut me out of a family photo when I was a child and that has stuck with me for so damn long. She’s always treated me like shit because apparently I remind her of my mom who she hates.
Like why do I need to be the perfect daughter/granddaughter when you two can’t even do the bare minimum and never have? I’m a grown ass adult now, leave me the fuck alone if all you’re going to do is guilt trip me.
Mum just told me I’m an attention seeker for bouncing my leg when I’m anxious 😗✌️ can’t wait to move out and never speak to her again.
1. why doesnt my heater work?
2. why doesnt the apartment’s owner respond to my calls?
3. why in the world do i have to study in the cold.
Most every Thanksgiving and Christmas on my mom’s side of the family has a big potluck dinner with like 30-40 people, good food, good company, singing, my great aunt’s little dog quietly hunting for dropped food, leaving with tubs of leftovers. Bake your favorite food and bring a friend or two.
I’m just feeling really sad we had to cancel this year. But we HAD to cancel, for everyone’s safety.
I am so frustrated with our government for not taking the pandemic seriously, for intentionally letting people get sick and die to further their own interests.