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nothingbutimagines · 3 years

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Sandy Claws (Avengers)

Pairing: Platonic!Avengers x Teen!Reader

Warning: Cursing, lots of banter and complaining

Summary: While Christmas shopping for one another, Tony tries to convince the rest of the Avengers to take a family photo with Santa, much to everyone’s dismay.

Author: Dizzy

A/N: I was really sick Dec. 18th to the 20th, so this fic that should’ve been up the 20th is now here along with Steve Rogers fic and Natasha Romanoff fic I had planned for the days I was sick as well. Happy holidays and I hope you are all doing okay and are staying healthy and safe!

Masterlist Request Any Of These Peter Parker/Tom Holland Masterlist

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“Stark, what the hell are we doing here?”

You could feel the annoyed attitude emanating off of Natasha as you walked up beside her, examining the group that was formed around Tony.

“Yeah, what the hell? I was in the middle of fist fighting some lady for one of those stupid Star Wars sets for Peter.” You added, crossing your arms over your chest with a pout.

Tony snapped his fingers, pointing at you smoothly as he looked you in the eye. “Hey, watch it! We don’t need a rant from Mr. America about your language. You know he hates cursing.”

Steve rolled his eyes, groaning. “Come on! It was one time.”

Natasha shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Y/n was losing the fight against that woman anyway.”

“I would’ve won if you’d have helped!”

“I did help. She asked if I was your mother because you cursed at her and then I said ‘do I look that fucking old to you?’ which was when you were supposed to take the stupid toy and run but you didn’t.”

“You could’ve given me a heads up!” You cried, throwing your arms down and your head back as you groaned. “Can I leave now? I have a set to finish fighting for.”

“No one’s leaving. Not until Peter and Wanda get here so I can explain what’s on the agenda.”

“For the record-” Steve started as Sam cut him off.

“Dude, no one cares that you called out bad language one time. Just save it.”

“Hey, guys. We’re here. What’s up?” Peter made his way into the circle, Wanda close behind.

“Finally.” Tony started, clapping his hands together, “I have us gathered here today so that we could take the annual Avengers Christmas photo with Santa instead of at the compound.”

You chuckled as the rest of the team erupted into a chorus of groans.

“Tony, why don’t you just have the kids take a photo with Santa and the rest of us can take a picture at the compound?” Steve suggested. “Wanda, Peter, and Y/n would enjoy that.”

“Dude! None of us have believed in Santa in years. We all know he isn’t real.” You argued. “We’re all 16 to 19, not 6 to 9.”

“Wait, Santa isn’t real?” Peter cried, pretending to panic.

You gave him a playful shove, which he returned. “Shut up, Parker. You’re not funny.”

“Oh, and like you’re the next John Mulaney.”

“Says the one who still plays with Legos!”

“Says the one who still sleeps with a stuffed animals!”

“Hey!” Tony snapped, looking between the two of you as you gazed back at him. “We are all taking a photo with Santa Claus, whether you like it or not.”

“No way.” You shook your head. “I am not taking a photo with Sandy Claws since I am allergic to old men.”

“You spend time with Steve and Bucky every day.” Tony retorted.

“Okay, then I’m allergic to old men wearing costumes and pretending to be someone they’re not.”

“Refer back to my earlier statement.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes as Sam pointed at you.

“I’m taking the kid’s side for once. I’m most certainly not taking this photo. And if I walk away when everyone else does, it’s not like you can stop us all.” Sam explained, a smirk on his face. “More than likely you could stop the two old guys since they’re the slowest.”

“I’m going to have to agree with Sam for once.” Bucky added, “I say we should all make a run for it and whoever gets caught takes the photo.”

“All in favor of running for our dignity say ‘Aye.’“ Sam raised his hand as the group erupted into a collection of hands and voices.

“Put your hands down.” Tony waved his hands at everyone. “If I pay you each a thousand for this photo, can we please just get it over with?”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I think my dignity is worth at least two grand.” You spoke up.

“Fine,” Tony groaned, “everyone gets two thousand even.”

“I’ll take it!”

You followed the rest of the group into the small photo set up where Santa sat, the rest of the group opting to sit on the floor or stand behind the large chair the old man sat in as you and Peter stood, looking at one another.

“They don’t expect us to sit on his lap, do they?” Peter asked, glancing between you and the group.

“I think they do.”

“Uh, guys?” Peter pipped up, getting the attention of everyone else. “Where do you want us to go?”

“Youngest have to sit with the old man.” Tony chuckled. “And I don’t mean Steve.”

“Why am I the punchline to all of your jokes?” Steve scoffed, leaning forward to look at Tony from the other side of the chair.

“Because you’re easy to make fun of.” Tony turned his attention towards you and Peter. “Come on, kiddos, sit with Santa.”

You followed behind Peter as you walked towards the rest of the group.

“The last time I sat with Santa, I think I peed on him.” Peter whispered, looking back at you before taking a seat.

“Kinky.” You snorted, taking a seat as well before turning your attention to the photographer.

“Alright guys, I want big smiles!” The photographer announced, leaning into the camera on the tripod as she looked at you through the viewfinder.

You flashed a bright smile, your hands in your lap as the camera flashed a few times.

“Hell yeah. Now that that’s over, I want a pretzel.” Bruce spoke up as the group began to disperse.

“That sounds amazing.” Natasha agreed.

“I second that.” Steve spoke up.

“Me too.” You smiled, hopping off of Santa’s lap and following everyone else as they walked away.

“Uh, guys?” Peter spoke up. “I think I blinked.”

“Alright, everyone come back.” Tony groaned, waving his hands in a gesture that beckoned everyone back.

“Remember,” Sam said, looking between everyone, “he can’t catch us all.”

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stripedsocksinabox · 5 years

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Sweet Sixteen (One day I'll finishing this but for now have the part I have written)

"Hey kid what's- You're not Peter."

The video call had come through to Tony's phone from Peter's phone, when Tony had been in his lab working on an update for U. When he had answered it, he had expected to either see the scruffy-haired teenager or the spider-mask, but instead he had been confronted with two other teenagers who he had only ever seen in pictures and through Peter talking about them, and had never actually spoken to.

"Mr Stark!" The boy was somewhat dazed at the fact that they were having this conversation. "I-"

The girl shoved him with an eyeroll and took over the talking party. "We don't have long, Peter's just in the loo, we just need to know if we can use the compound on August 27th?"

Tony looked at them suspiciously. "What for...?" He asked. "I can't exactly just let a couple of random teenagers use a top-secret base."

“Top secret implies that everyone doesn't know it's location which they do," The girl - MJ - pointed out, and Tony didn't have time to come back from that before she continued. "It's Peter's birthday and we wanna throw him a party, with a coming out theme."

Tony grinned then. "Leave it to me," He said. He could hardly believe he was going to say this, but for Peter he would do anything, within - and probably without - reason. "Get my number from Peter's phone, and I'll contact you about it." He promised and hung up the call.

Tony learnt quickly that Peter was not the type of teenager who would want everyone in his year invited to his birthday party, but rather there were his two close friends, a couple of other people from school, and otherwise it was down to Tony to find people to fill in the spaced. The avengers would all come of course, Tony would make sure of that. Tony put May in charge of getting any additional family to the party. It turned out Peter had a whole hoard of cousins and aunts and uncles who would happily come to a party hosted by Tony Stark.

Tony also learnt that everything he knew about parties included alcohol, half naked people and questionable activities, all of which were not appropriate for a sixteenth birthday party. Because of this, Tony called MJ and Ned around, and with their assistance was able to produce a party worthy of his trans nerd kid… mentee, he definitely didn’t think of Peter as his kid.

August 27th arrived, and Tony Stark's silver Audi waited for Peter outside of his high school as the bell rant. Tony was excited, he had never done something like this for Peter before and he knew the kid was going to love it. He was probably going to cry at some point as well, which was not what he wanted, but it was just how Peter was. He saw Peter coming out of the school with Ned and MJ, his bag slung on his shoulder, a giant '16 today' badge on his chest. His friends seemed to be arguing with him, and Tony assumed it was able to the badge since Peter kept trying to unpin in and MJ kept pulling his hand back.

"Mr Stark? What are you doing here? I didn't think I had the internship today?" Peter asked uncertainly, as he approached the car.

Tony smiled, "Nah, just here to give you a birthday present kiddo," He told him. He leaned over and opened the passenger side door. "Get in." He said, grinning at him.

Peter looked surprised, "How do you know...?"

"I'm a genius, Peter, I know these things." Tony told him simply, winking past him at MJ and Ned. Peter looked at them suspiciously before getting into the car.

"You didn't have to get me anything Mr Stark," Peter told him, as he pulled the seatbelt over himself.

Tony rolled his eyes. "I know I didn't have to, I chose to, there is a big difference." Tony replied. "If I had had to, I probably wouldn't have done so, I'm not a fan of things I have to do. I made Pepper CEO of my company because I was tired of having to do that job, you know." As he was speaking, Tony reached into the back of the car and pulled an envelope forward passing to Peter.

There were tears in Peter's eyes when he opened the envelope and found a new baby card inside, in soft blue with the words 'It's a boy'.

"It's just a card, kid," Tony said, an amused smile playing on his face. Honestly, Peter wasn't supposed to get emotional this early on. He watched as Peter opened the card and a small transgender flag pin fell out onto his lap. A few tears fell but Peter pushed them away quickly then.

"It's not just a card, Mr Stark," Peter said, quietly, picking the pin up and placing it on his sweater next to his birthday badge. "I-... I spend so much time being terrified to tell people, that I just assume that people are going to react badly. The kids are school... There's a few that still use my deadname, even though it's legally been changed, and the school had accepted me as a boy... And some of the things they say they..." More tears fell then, and Peter wiped his eyes harshly with the palms of his hand.

Tony leaned across the car and wrapped an arm around him, "I know, kid," He said, softly. "People suck, people really really suck," He commented. "But you're not alone in this, you're never going to be alone in this. You got your aunt, you got your friends," He smiled, moving his free hand to wipe the tears from Peter's cheek. "You got me." He added, seriously. "Now, no more tears, your birthday is to celebrate. You're coming back to the compound for a while, May knows you'll be later home, so no need to worry."

Peter smiled at him, "Thank you Mr Stark." He said.

Tony wondered if the kid would ever call him Tony, he had told him so many times that he was allowed to, but Peter was just too nice and sweet and good that he didn't seem to know how to call an adult by their first name. Tony started the car, aiming towards the compound fast.

Peter laughed, holding on to the edge of his seat. "I forgot you drive like you're on a racetrack all the damn time." He said.

"Life is a racetrack, and real racetracks are full of people trying to kill you." Tony said, ignoring Peter's frown, "You were rather little when that happened, I guess, it was back in 2009 or something."

Peter had leant not to question, he could google Tony and racetracks later, after all, Tony’s entire life was available online pretty much.

"What's going on?" Peter asked, as he walked into the compound with Tony, and was hit by The Imperial March music from the Star Wars soundtrack almost instantly.

Tony shrugged, nonchalent, "I just figured that since it's your birthday, we should play music you like, since you pretty much constantly complain about my music."

"Theres nothing wrong with your music but you have to listen to something that was made this century every so often, Mr Stark," Peter countered. "Like sure, add in some awesome rock music from the 70s, but every so often play a bit of P!nk or something."

"We've had this debate so many times, kid, I don't know why you think you can change my opinion on this," Tony laughed, wrapping an arm around him and patting his arm. "Nothing decent was made this century. Now, quit whining and accept that there is something you enjoy playing."

"Yessir," Peter said, grinning as the music moved on to Firework by Katy Perry.

“Through here,” Tony said, nodding towards a door. There was a window from the main corridor to this room, but it was covered, stopping Peter being able to see in and the kid was starting to get suspicious. “Go on.” Tony nudged him towards the door.

When Peter opened the door the music got all the louder, and he wasn't sure where to look first. It was a large open plan room, with tables around the edge. One had presents on it, and a three foot Spiderman made of lego in the middle of it. A couple more were full of a buffet of food and drink. The entire room was decorated in a collection of blue, white and a pink, and there was a large trans flag in the second of it all. Throughout the room were a lot of people, everyone he could possibly have wanted there was there. Ned and MJ were there - and Peter had to wonder how they got there before him and Tony given the way Tony drove - his aunt May was there, so many of his other aunts and uncles and cousins were there.

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legobiwan · 3 years

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I haven't actually, you know, watched (or read, for that matter) much, if any Star Wars content over the past year. I feel like I need to rectify this situation. A TCW rewatch, perhaps to start...

#hello there #i am SO out of the star wars loop #marvel has hijacked my brain since launching all their shows #and i wasn't convinced enough to watch bad batch #but i need WRITING FODDER #I NEED TO FINISH THESE GOD DAMNED STORIES AGH #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 3 years

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I’ve been playing Santa Clarita Diet as a background show while studying and just...a) this show is HILARIOUS b) I stand by my original comment that Sheila and Joel are one of the healthiest marriages portrayed on television and c) WE WERE ROBBED BY THAT CANCELLATION JFC I AM STILL SO *MAD*

#hello there #yes i am studying #ancient grains are learning a lot of new tricks in their advanced fiber years #(i jest to a degree yes i'm in my late 30s but i'm not THAT old i mean REALLY)#but fuck i am mad about scd #also some of the lines work PERFECTLY as incorrect hannibal lines and I'm hopefully going to work on an edit #because i'm apparently into cannibalism shows hahahaha #rants from the lego compound #what a good show #santa clarita diet

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legobiwan · 4 years

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TCW Rewatch: Shadow of Malevolence (Season 1, Episode 3)

I had forgotten how involved Plo Koon was with Anakin and Ahsoka at the start. Almost as if he was there supporting both Anakin and Ahsoka at the start of her apprenticeship while Obi-wan was dealing with his war duties.

And it’s interesting how Plo basically lets Anakin make his decisions, asks about Anakin’s plan but doesn’t argue or interfere, unlike Obi-wan who would have gotten into it with Anakin before eventually capitulating.

Okay, so the 10-year-old in me always finds it funny when Grievous has a temper tantrum like that, but this scene is deceptive. Dooku actually states, “The Jedi are never that harsh with their clones.” This is fascinating foreshadowing to the end of the episode when Anakin is basically burning soldiers behind him in his attempt to get to Grievous (and not caring until Ahsoka pipes up) and also an interesting insight in Dooku’s character at the time. Dooku falls more and more dark side as TCW goes on (he really should have killed Obi-wan and Anakin in the Hondo episode, but he didn’t. Compare that with Season 6 when he gleefully skewers the head Pyke.) Sure, Dooku goes on to say that they're going to kill 60,000 clones at the medical station, muahahaha, but he never gets his hands dirty, just makes the orders. This goes back to the idea that Dooku turned because of his political idealism and just fell prey to the dark side (and who knows how that might have worked out if he had either been able to get Obi-wan as an apprentice or keep Ventress as his apprentice).

Dooku says he feels, “very confident leaving the ship” in Grievous’s command. I doubt that. But this is a test, of Anakin, of the Republic’s forces, a way of extending the war, so Grievous is not necessarily meant to win all the time, just to be a bloody (literally) nuisance and take a lot fo the flak for killing off clones and Jedi. (While Dooku is the political muscle.) Well played, Palpy, well played.

Plo is so underrated. He is so chill, but like a rock, and he is a great sounding board for Ahsoka.

I’m just going to leave this here:

Have I mentioned I love Obi-wan? I love Obi-wan.

Man, Dooku really despises Anakin, it’s such a great dynamic because while Palpatine is all over Anakin like a cheap suit, Dooku couldn’t be rid of him faster and we know Dooku wants Obi-wan to turn, which is such a subversion of expectations and I love it.

GIANT NEEBRAY MANTAS

They totally needed Obi-wan Kenobi, Friend to Large Animals on this part of the mission. Also, what is Filoni’s deal with space sea creatures living in nebulas? Like, I’m all for it, but there is definitely a theme. (Looking at you, purrgils who pull Ezra and Thrawn into hyperspace.)

Ahsoka: “That one looks hungry.” Anakin: “Nah, it’s just smiling at you.”

For a show that started as a kid’s show and was a little corny through the first two seasons, they go hardcore on killing clones. Jeeez....

Again, this episode goes back to Dooku’s question of how the Jedi treat the clones. Anakin was almost ready to sacrifice EVERYONE to get to Grievous. He doesn’t, in the end. Not only is this great in exploring Anakin’s dark tendencies, but also the Jedi Order as a whole, because as the war wages on, they tend to talk more and more of “acceptable losses” and I think Dooku sees the hypocrisy clear as kyber crystal.

OBI-WAAAAAAAAAAN YAS HE’S HERE!!!!!

#hello there #legobiwan rewatches tcw #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #plo koon #count dooku #general grievous #rants from the lego compound #i don't know if i can keep this up after i have to go back to real life #but god damn i am going to try #I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH #THIS IS HOW YOU STAR WARS

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Alright, I’m just going to have a lot to say about rewatching TCW so here we go.

Rising Malevolence: (Season 1, Episode 2)

I realize they were still working out the kinks in Clone Wars at this point but we are introduced to the ion cannon, to Grievous, to Dooku deigning to share the same airspace with Grievous on a mission? Fascinating.

Obi-wan is already throwing shade on Anakin 10 minutes in. It’s so reassuring.

Anakin is trying really hard to look like a responsible Jedi Master in front of the full Council. He drops the act when he’s with Ahsoka or with Ahsoka and Obi-wan alone, meaning he really only fears the other Council member’s judgment, not Obi-wan’s.

Anakin basically wants to teach Ahsoka the golden rule of “it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” Classic.

But here’s the thing. Obi-wan, I believe, wants Anakin to break the rules and go looking for Plo and co. This is a theme that keeps popping up in their interactions, that Obi-wan lives vicariously through Anakin, as Anakin has been established as a rule-breaker (sometimes just because of his presence alone) and in this way, Obi-wan can act beyond the Council’s orders without himself actually going beyond the Council’s orders. It’s sneaky, manipulative, and totally backfires on Obes later on, but plays into the idea that Obi-wan was trying so hard to seem like the perfect Jedi in light of the massive responsibility heaped on him in training Anakin and his own latent issues stemming from his relationship with Qui-gon.

He never says they shouldn’t have gone, only that they need to get back to the rendezvous.

Meanwhile, Palpatine in on holoSkype telling Anakin how furious the Council is and just...what a line! Don’t listen to him, Anakin! That’s not the case, like at all! Especially when it comes to Obi-wan! Gods, he is the worst.

Curious why Dooku didn’t sense Plo/Anakin/Ahsoka out there. Most likely wasn’t looking for them and to be honest, he already reaaallly doesn’t care for Anakin.

Plo is so calm and such a committed leader to the clones. And seriously drama-free for being a Jedi master, how did he end up so normal compared to everyone else’s neurotic behavior?

All the battle droids were just waiting for Dooku to choke the hell out of Grievous after the trio made their escape. Probably would have cheered if he had done so, tbh.

#SO MUCH INTERESTING CONTENT #EVEN THIS EARLY ON #legobiwan rewatches tcw #rising malevolence #obi wan kenobi #plo koon #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #general grievous #count dooku #hello there #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Okay, look, I am *living* for these new Clone Wars episodes. Like, AMAZING, and I am grateful to my Disney overlords that we are getting even this much.

However.

Could you Imagine if we got this level of animation and editing for the Utapau arc??????

Aaaaagggghhhhhhh

#WE WERE ROBBED #i will always be salty about this #because i ADORE the utapau arc #gah #crystal crisis my love #hello there #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Just got home from The Rise of Skywalker. No pithy intro, I’m just going to jump right in and it’s going to be a LONG rant here so buckle up, my friends, and be sure to read below the cut. SPOILERS AHOY YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Okay, so yes, the first third of the movie went at a blistering, nearly nonsensical pace. JJ really had to cram a whole watermelon’s worth of exposition into a...well, you know, there was a lot to take in. This movie had to do so much telling instead of showing because it was such a departure (and middle finger to TLJ) from what came before.

The thing was, the first third was also the most interesting part of the movie. I actually wish the whole trilogy had started with all of the Sith nonsense. (Actually, I wish they had started with Kylo absolutely wrecking shit like he did and then the Palpatine scene. People would have made all the wrong assumptions and it would have been glorious to unravel it over three films.) There is a strong history of Sith artifacts in both Nu-Canon and Legends, and it wouldn’t have been out of place, considering what we know now, to have made Rey, Poe, and Finn’s quest for these artifacts the start of the new trilogy, and then told the rest of the story in a non-linear timeline. Probably too experimental for a Star Wars reboot, but it would have grabbed attention and everyone like creepy Sith shit.

Frankly, I would have dropped zombie-robot Palpatine at the very start of the trilogy, as well. It’s bonkers but I don’t hate the Rey Palpatine thing and they could have spent the rest fo the movies explaining this weird-ass lineage and how it relates to Kylo, Snoke, etc. and then have built back to the final confrontaion on Exegol.

Leia. Trained. Rey. I so so so so so wished we had been able to get more of this. This, in my mind, is what it should have been all along. I liked TLJ (okay, so shoot me) but Master Leia is a whole other level of awesome. If I had to rewrite Luke and Leia’s roles, it would have went something like this:

Luke was searching for Sith artifacts. Luke was becoming disillusioned by what he was learning of the Jedi through “The Sacred Texts.” WHO DOES THAT SOUND LIKE? Hmmmm, I wonder....

Could you imagine Luke started to go a little Dooku in this respect, and so instead of fucking off the Ach-To because he had a feeling that was more “gravy than of grave” about Ben Solo’s dark sidedness, he fucked off to Ach-To - or even better - gave up training in order to keep himself from going down a darker path.

And so instead, Leia is getting involved with training (and probably also governing at the same time because she would be an overachiever like that.)

Enter Ben Solo, who is Force sensitive, strong, being trained by his mother and occasionally his uncle, who is not totally plugged into the light side at the moment, which can rub off on Ben. Meanwhile, Han is maybe not the best father (he wants to be, he tries, but it all comes out wrong. I’ve been watching a lot of Psych lately, so I’m thinking of a dynamic similar to Henry and Shawn, but a little more dramatic.)

Of course, Palpatine is seeing all of this behind the scenes, he’s fostering ill will and discontent through the scattered remains of the Empire, sending Snoke clones out to be almost pseudo-religious/cult figures in the wake of the economic and social devastation left by the Empire’s fall and the floundering new government. Extremism, in pockets, rises. Extremism which preys on discontent, which preys of the desire for family, for belonging.

Enter again Ben Solo, who has been pitted against the other strongest trainee, Rey (insert whatever last name you want. She knows it’s not her real name, she knows she was an orphan on Jakku, but she was brought by Luke to be trained). Ben is pissed how she and Leia bond, has been talking to his uncle, and perhaps encountered a Snoke clone on the way.

Rey, on the other hand, is no one but wants to be someone, and that manifests in weird ways during her training. Perhaps she leaves at some point, perhaps not. But the seeds of her being Palpatine’s bloodline are laid within her. She wants to seek that belonging Ben has.

Okay, but getting away from my personal rewrites of the sequels, Star Wars is about family and lineage, both blood and found. There was so much potential to play on this throughout the trilogy with the Skywalkers, with Rey’s relation to Palps that if they had just planned the damn thing, it could have been brilliant.

Moving ...(for now)

I felt so bad for Oscar Isaac. I felt like I watched his soul slowly depart his body over almost 3 hours. That man was not a happy camper and it came out in his performance.

Power levels. Here’s the thing, guys. Magic needs to have consequences. Sure, you can cast a spell, but what does that take from you? You can use the Force, but to what degree? How much? Even Anakin exhausted himself at some points, and he was (allegedly, according to one Qui-gon Jinn), the Chosen One. It’s the first law of thermodynamics - energy can neither be created nor destroyed - and the Force is literally the energy of every life thing in the galaxy. You take the energy, use it towards something else, it has to drain from somewhere. This is what bugged the hell out of me with Rey’s Force Healing abilities (an ability that doesn’t thrill me to begin with as it’s so easy to overuse). Kylo keels from resurrecting the dead (and yeah, he was pretty beat up already), but Rey barely seems to breathe a beat harder. Once you start ignoring the consequences for magic, you end up like a shitty video game, and one of the criticisms I’ve leveled at the movie is that it feels like a montage of Battlefront and I can’t say that’s totally off point.

JEDI HUNTERS. Ochi. I will bet my right liver we’re going to hear something about this on The Mandalorian.

So I know a lot of people wanted to see Rey Kenobi, but there was one piece of glaring evidence in the film why that would never be. (Aside from Kylo just announcing it to Rey.) She has a lightsaber, but she still ends up using a blaster. So uncivilized.

Speaking of The Mandalorian - Stormtroopers with Mando jetpacks. Hmmm.....

I loved techno-Sheev hooked up to all the equipment just floating. That was creepy as hell and played with the whole cloning and extension of life that was such a large part of the Darth Plagueis novel (which I still consider to be canon, higher powers be damned). Also, Palpy’s glowup with the wardrobe was hilarious.

Dark!Rey was hot. There, I said it.

Let’s talk about romance. Or the lack thereof. Or the shoehorned thereof.

Poor Rose got shafted in this film with no explanation. I didn’t buy that whole thing in TLJ, but god damn anyway. (Finn also got shafted, for different reasons, which I will talk about later.)

If they were going to romance, just let it have been Finn and Poe, Finn and Rey, or fuck it, even a trio.

I mean, I could have bought Reylo if it had been presented better. (With context. Adam Driver is an amazing actor, another thing I’ll talk about later.)

The Reylo kiss though - my theater laughed. No joke.

Of course, this was the same theater that thought Lando was trying to mack on Jannah at the end, so who knows what we were all thinking in there. (On that note, Lando was hilarious because no matter what, he was just having a grand ‘ol time in the movie. I like to think he got a medical spice card in his retirement years and was just enjoying anything that came his way, be it Wookiees, Jedi, starships, wars, whatever.)

While the Reylo kiss didn’t hit the mark the space lesbian background kiss got cheers, so there was some hope for my fellow theater-goers.

Did anyone pick up on Threepio saying the Senate made the bill that would render him incapable of translating the Sith language? No doubt that was a Palpatine move from TCW era.

What is up with these movies and desert/jungle planets? Ugh. Thank everyone for Kijimi, at least that was interesting.

New characters I loved: Babu Frik and DO.

Finn’s Force sensitivity. Yes, I totally buy it. I wanted more. I wanted more fucking context of a Stormtrooper who would have known nothing of the Jedi getting these feelings and then bailing from the First Order (or, if I were writing the movies, bailing from the remnants of the Empire/Snokes weird military cults.) Totally underutilized character development.

We. Were. Robbed. of Good!Ben. Adam Driver is so phenomenal. Form the little we saw of redeemed Ben, he is the perfect mix of his parents, from the “Ow” to the eyebrow wagging, the swagger, the smirks...I LOVED good!Ben. I wanted so much more good!Ben. What a transformation.

Speaking of which - the scene between Kylo/Ben and Han was terrific. I wish we had had more context for why everything went south, but it was so good and the type of family dynamic we really needed more of.

The Knights of Ren looked awesome in this film? They needed to be like the Black Order of Star Wars, and they were getting to it, but not quite there. Gods, they could have been the enforcers of Snoke’s cults (Palpy’s puppet cults) that could terrorize far more than a normal, brainwashed Stormtrooper, who was only useful as cannon fodder (I mean, if we look at the history of the clone army to the Stormtroopers, it would be terribly fitting.)

That ship tug-of-war was DUMB. (See my rant about magic and consequences). But, if Rey was going to shoot lightening Palpy-style and blow up a ship, Chewie should have died. I’m sorry, that’s terrible, I love him, but there needed to be consequences for actions and throughout the film, there were either no consequences or random consequences that were a narrative convenience rather than developed into the plot/characterization/worldbuilding.

Here’s the thing with the ST - there is so much potential. There are some awesome ideas. But they wanted to play if safe with JJ by rebooting the OT, Rian was too far out for them, there was no cohesive storytelling, and so we get these little glimpses into what could have been amidst a shitstorm of trailers for Battlefront 17.

we could have had it allll....

Final rating: 4/10

#the rise of skywalker #the rise of skywalker spoilers #tros spoilers #tros #hello there #rants from the lego compound #and what an appropriate tag it is #rey #kylo ren #finn #poe dameron #sheev palpatine #leia organa #luke skywalker #han solo #bunch of other characters i'm not tagging right now

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legobiwan · 4 years

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I have one of those “I’m a Big Kid now they’re flying you across the country for this” interviews later this week and some days it takes so much effort to remind myself I am a 30-something-year-old professional with a metric fuckton of experience and not a terrified student.

In other words, I feel for Obi-wan Kenobi and his Impostor Syndrome (tm).

#right down to the age #not that i'm projecting or anything #i can't wait unti #this thing is done and i can cavort around this particular city #visiting museums and freezing my ass off #ugh real life #i just want to move to the desert and be a hermit #....which....#also sounds like obi wan #good LORD #hello there #rants from the lego compound #obi wan kenobi

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Fic Rec: How to Save Three Million with Only Ten Thousand by IGaveYouFairWarning is a great narrated by Mace Windu on why the Jedi accepted to lead the Clone Army and the horrible choice they faced. Despite what it sounds like, it is as hilarious as it is tearjerking as well as incredibly cathartic to someone who has read WAY too many Jedi bash fics.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15764835

Queued up in my browser for later tonight!

I had a long response to the idea of “Jedi bashing” typed up, but I want to make sure I’m saying exactly what I want to say before wheeling it out because I know it’s a hot topic around these parts. (This isn’t anything directed at you, anon, as this has been festering on the edges of my mind for a while and your comment just acted as a catalyst :)

This idea is something I’ve seen floating across my dash more often in the past few weeks - anything from “the Jedi were callous baby-stealers who took advantage of the clones and supported corrupt and genocidal governments” to “the Jedi were total victims of Sidious’s machinations and did nothing wrong ever” and the extremes of it kind of bother me. Of course, you can take those positions - and more - as a point of view in a fic - which is fun! to explore because you can definitely interpret the Order’s actions both ways (I’m thinking of a Fox newsish hit piece on the Jedi, for instance, at least for the first one. And, I mean, you can take whatever position you personally want on the Jedi, I’m not here to dictate someone’s interpretation of the canon, as that would be unkind.) But to my mind, the reality of it all is somewhere in the middle. The Jedi meant well, their guiding philosophies were wonderful in their ideal but they were an imperfect organization that had stagnated, to a certain degree, and could have benefited from some well-implemented changes (not throwing away thousands of years of doctrine for one person, mind you) if the Clone Wars hadn’t stressed tested them in a way where Sidious could exploit perfectly the cracks in their organizational foundations.

It’s…complicated. But this is why I love the Prequel-era so much. Not one person, not one organization is 100% perfect in the prequels and I, for one, love the moral ambiguity and conflicts that arise from good people doing bad things and sometimes bad people doing bad things for okay reasons, etc. And then, of course, there’s Sidious, who’s just plain evil. Ah, I love this stuff!

Anyway. Thank you for the rec!

#Anonymous #hello there #ask legobiwan #fic rec #small rant #look i'm not here to start any fights but quaratine brain is making me talkative #rants from the lego compound #it's complicated #and this is coming from someone who LOVES the jedi #but appreciates their flaws #as that is where interesting stories lie #at least in my mind :)#sorry to hijack this ask with my ranting #back to quarantine #i wish this wind would let up a bit #might go on a small walk #just to remember what fresh air is like #world's getting wild you guys #stay safe out there

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legobiwan · 4 years

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As someone who has worked in the education field in one form or another for many, many years, you would think - by this point - I would know how to spell “curriculum” without needing to resort to spell-check.

You would be wrong.

Not once, and I mean not one single time have I spelled word this word correctly without technological interference.

#hello there #random #thank the gods for spellcheck i'd never be hired otherwise #hahahaha #CANNOT spell that stupid word for the life of me #legos in the wild #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Literally all they had to do was adopt the Kenobi novel. Maybe add in a few more Jedi hijinks and Force-ghost-voice Qui-gon. Simple and not "too similar."

Disney, wtf?

#I'LL WRITE YOUR BLOODY KENOBI SERIES OF YOU WANT #and i can be had for a pretty reasonable price #Jesus fucking hell what is going on in this company it is a damn shitshow #whatevs I'm just going to go with tcw and my birds of prey sith! obi wan headcanons #fuck this is frustrating #did no one fucking plan?#gods #infuriating #anyway #hello there #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 4 years

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What the fuck do you mean tomorrow is March?

#jesus h christ #hello there #the FUCK #am not prepared #like at all #rants from the lego compound

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legobiwan · 4 years

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idk who you support but i’m really scared about biden getting the nomination cause he so would not beat trump

(Fair warning, real-life politics mini-rant incoming).

Sigh. I'm really disappointed (and surprised, tbh) that so much of the electorate seemed to go for the "safe" candidate. I wonder how many Biden voters went for Hilary vs. Trump in 2016. I also wonder what those demographics were. (No one in my social circle of 30-something professional artsy liberals was going for Biden, that's for sure.) Then again, if the more conservative arm of the Democratic party is willing to go for Biden, maybe he'd have a better chance in 2020? I don't know. I personally would love Bernie or Warren to get the nomination, but seeing as Warren hasn't gained any traction (that's a different story for a different day) I've been all in for Bernie at this point. If Biden gets the nom, I'll vote for him because the alternative is far worse, but I won't be thrilled to do so. How this will play out in November is anyone's guess. Our system is a disaster and I'm counting more on state/local than federal government to keep the sanity. Luckily, I live in a place where that's a possibility.

For my fellow American followers who are also unhappy: VOTE IN YOUR LOCAL ELECTIONS. Do your downballot research. The only way we're going to really change things is from the ground up.

---

This has been a lego psa. Now back to Star Wars.

#hello there #ask legobiwan #politics #dont worry this wont become a politics blog #but im actually pretty pissed off about how this all went #also #who are these people???#voting?#i mean my perspective is skewed by my geography and the fact i run mostly in artist circles but still #rants from the lego compound #this has been a lego psa #non star wars #obvs #i dont know vote jarjar 2020 let's blow it all up hahahajaa #i know most of you are here on tumblr to eacape this shit so ill get back to thr gffa now #sigh.....

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legobiwan · 4 years

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Holy crap, you guys

I finally finished watching Psych

Okay, so I was not at all expecting to get so emotionally involved with this show. I mean, it’s technically a murder-of-the-week format, nothing innovative on the surface and yet the way it genre-jumped, the amazing humor, the cast chemistry, and the moments of real emotion - it had me hooked

It’s really incredible the way all the characters (and the show itself) change. Shawn goes from being a borderline real dick to a goofy, if ultimately well-meaning person. Gus finds his courage. Lassiter finds his heart. Juliet hardens, but in a good way. And Henry softens just enough. Plus, the show learns as it goes on. Some of the humor is borderline offensive in the earlier seasons (when taken in a 2019 context), especially when it deals with feminism, gender, and sexuality issues, but as social mores changed, the show matured and I really appreciate that.

The episodes that work best for me are the ones that are goofy, but with just enough emotional seriousness that it makes for riveting television. Yes, Shawn and Gus are over-the-top ridiculous, but the issues of family, dating, career, marriage, life regret, etc. are so real and the interplay between zany humor and very subtle pathos is just amazing.

So as someone who goes all-in for family dynamics, I just love the relationship between Shawn and Henry, especially as it’s how the relationship between an adult child and their parent changes with time, how they can see their parent as a human, as fallible, as someone who did the best they couild and maybe that always wasn’t enough.

On the romance side, I wasn’t totally convinced by Juliet and Shawn, but it worked well-enough, although I really would have liked more explanation as to how they got back together in Season 7. The breakup in Deez Nuts and Turn Left or Right for Dead was fantastic, however.

Gods, Shawn. ADHD, always on the run, and a master of deflection when it comes to anything emotionally serious. I feel that in my gut, good god.

There were so many good episodes: Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark (who doesn’t like a bit of whump, I mean really), Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing, the Santabaratown duet (holy shit, Shawn wrecking shit and tacking the safety off the gun that was AWESOME), Mr. Yang Presents (the latter 2 parts of the trilogy were weaker, imo, but the first episode was just so good).

But also, there were some amazing, HILARIOUS moments later on - when Shawn runs for Mayor, Juliet Takes a Luvvah, basically most of Season 5...

On the whole, I think Season 4 was my favorite for the balance of drama and humor, although Seasons 5-7 were by far the funniest. Woody was a fantastic addition to the cast he is so kooky.

One of my few complaints is that Gus and Shawn were a little too goofy in Season 5. They are both intelligent people, and I felt like the pendulum swung a little far into cartoonish behavior for much of Season 5, even though overall it also delivered some of the funniest moments.

Yes, not every episode was great, especially as the show wore on. I personally loved one of the lowest-ranked episodes, Nightmare on State Street, from Season 8, as it was great horror and did a fantastic job of portraying a metaphor for anxiety when facing change, even if it is halfway outside of the real timeline. (I also really like the 1967 flashback episode. if for nothing else the Hamlet reference.)

Holy crap the polygraph scene in the Season 6 premiere was intense.

The season finale actually had me close to tears when Shawn was addressing Gus through the video. That bit about Shawn being the reason Gus wasn’t further along in his life hit like a brick to the gut.

The show is so rewatchable - funny, intelligent, and just deep enough to hook you in and really think about the relationships between these characters. The episode where Shawn’s mother comes back and admits to having been the one who left - I think that was the first time I really sat up and said, “oh, this is more than just a light-hearted comedy.” Frankly, I was kind of floored by that scene.

Juliet’s character was not always handled well, although she gets a little more complex in later seasons, which I appreciate.

I laughed LOUD at some of the episodes. I mean, I laughed loud at home and like a weirdo while running on the treadmill at the gym.

I’ll probably go back and rewatch some episodes to grab some screencaps, there is comedy gold in the show.

I loved that Gus came so far as a character. Go Gus!

Shawn’s confession to Juliet about his lying was great because he comes off as being a little sociopathic, which is awesome in context. The scene doesn’t forgive him for what he does to her or to Santa Barbara on the whole and I applaud that narrative choice.

Great show, great fun, I want to read and/or write a story where Shawn is forced to be a criminal and work against his friends because that would be aweeeeeeesooooome. 9/10 would definitely watch again and I can’t wait to see what they do with the second movie.

#hello there #rants from the lego compound #legobiwan watches a tv show #psych #my periodic reviews of media i have consumed #alright and now for something completely different #now back to watching hannibal

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