#rape survivor

[redditreceipts]

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-023-02717-0

In an online survey of 1124 heterosexual British men using a modified CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 71% of men experienced some form of sexual victimization by a woman at least once during their lifetime.

Trigger warning: rape

so I went through the study, and these are the results:

(note that these results are the numbers for sexual victimisation perpetrated by women against men)

So 71 percent of men have been sexually harassed by a woman in their lifetime.

I personally am not an expert on the topic of sexual assault, but these are quite staggering numbers. Of course it's not comparable to the number of women being raped, but it's still too many men who are victims to this kind of behaviour by women.

This is data from the CDC (it's from the United States, where the numbers are probably a bit different, but still comparable as they used the same questionnaire)

but, to be honest, I am not too interested in comparing experiences between victim populations - in the end, victims of sexual assault should not be pitched against each other, but they should both be given the opportunity to heal and be safe. I completely support men who have been assaulted by a woman and now want an all-men's shelter where there are no women present, or who don't want to be touched by a woman ever again or who want to have a community all for themselves where they can talk about their unique experiences.

I personally don't speak a lot about male survivors of rape because this is not really my expertise, but if there are men who are vocal about their experiences who want to find community and educate people, I'm all for that :) and I'm interested in their experiences

However, it's also important to stress the fact that most rapes against men are perpetrated by other men, and most rapes against women are also perpetrated by men.

So while women can pose a genuine threat to men in matters of assault, it's still important to see that most of sexual coercion against men is perpetrated by men.

It's interesting to see that this report by the CDC included "being made to penetrate" as one of their categories of sexual assault, of which a large percentage of men have been a victim to. I find it still important to stress the fact that being forced to penetrate a person and being penetrated against one's will are (while both being incredibly traumatic) very different experiences:

But yeah, this is in no way to say that it's therefore okay to force someone to penetrate you or to sexually assault a man as a woman. if you disagree and think that any of the aforementioned acts are excuseable, you can genuinely go fuck yourself.

another thing that sprung to mind constantly while reading these reports was how important sex-specific language is to accurately access how victimisation affects different sexes differently. Kinda interesting how the category of "being forced to penetrate" is only applicable to men, while the category "becoming pregnant as a result of rape" is only applicable to women, right? 🙃 imagine how this survey had went if neither sex had the language to correctly describe how they experienced sexual coercion

#rape survivor #survivor of rape #radblr #radical feminism #radical feminists do interact #radical feminists please touch #feminism #radfems please interact #radfem safe

[angel-on-the-cutting-room-floor]

#;mywebs #web weaving #poetry #prose #poem #tw sa implied #csa implied #rape survivor

[nightmaredxydreams]

major trigger warning for this post.

this is the most fucking disgusting shit ive seen here. what the fuck were they thinking when they posted it.

last time i checked, rape was fucking illegal. the whole reason rapists are rarely convicted is because society has made harmful and inaccurate stereotypes on sex crime survivors of all sorts. and the stereotypes are contradictory- the same bigots who say real sex crime survivors (not just rape) will tell right after it happens are also the same bigots that say real sex crime survivors (especially rape) will keep it secret or else theyre faking it for attention. this is why so many sex crimes- rape, sexual assault, even years long sexual abuse go unreported. because no one wants to be invalidated, seen as an attention seeker, or smeared as a liar. society does treat rape as a crime- just one that nobodys a victim of unless the victim fits a stereotype. rape is no ones right. also men arent the only rapists- we were raped by two females. this isnt the result of a patriarchial system of justice- its the result of people who havent been sexually violated trying to tell us who have been sexually violated what wed do and mass imprint that false narrative on everyone.

-janice

#csa survivor #rape survivor #radqueers dni

[willaculture]

is your room clean?

she asks, “did you make your bed?”  and i don’t know what to say   when the sheets are pulled tight  but i still taste tears from last night. 

she asks, “did you shower?”  and i don’t know what to say  when i scrubbed the soap to a sliver  but his touch stays beyond the its reach. 

she asks, “did you brush your teeth?”  and i don’t know what to say   when i brushed until i bled  but my mouth still tastes sour. 

she asks, “did you wash your face?”  and i don’t know what to say   when my acne’s disappeared,  but the tear tracks are red. 

she asks, “is your room clean?”  and i don’t know what to say  when my clothes are off the floor,  and my sink’s not clogged with hair,  but there are cobwebs in the corner  from senior prom last year. 

so i say  “yes”  and i say  “but”  and i ask  “do you think a girl with a messy room is still lovable?” 

#poets on tumblr #prose #poetry #poem #creative writing #writing #writers on tumblr #writers #my writing #rape survivor #clean room

[sorrow-and-bliss]

Boromir x Rape Survivor.

If Boromir fell in love with a rape survivor.

Warnings: Rape mentioned. Fluff.

Okay, this fellow would be the gentlest giant ever.

Very hesitant and cautious to not trigger you.

You will probably get a lot of flowers.

Doesn't tell his father readily, uncertain of his reaction.

Faramir knows. So when Boromir can't be with you, Faramir arrives.

Or you get guards.

If you're not okay with touch, he will find another way to show you how much he loves you. Is very determined on this.

If you hug, it's the most precious thing in the world. He's super gentle.

You practically drown in his arms because he's so big.

He likes to have his arm around your shoulder, so no one can snatch you from him.

He will teach you self-defense.

He thinks you're insanely tough and is incredibly proud to have you by his side.

He will always love you on your terms, and is surprisingly intuitive with your situation. Cuz he's not with anything else. Ask Faramir. :)

You make a lovely couple and are probably known as champions of justice.

You will probably receive a dagger with your initials and ornate carvings on it.

Unless you're more the go BIG or go home type, in which case this man will give you a morning star.

- no not that kind of star, the weapon kind

He loves you very much.

#tw: rape mention #rape survivor #boromir x reader #boromir #boromir x rape survivor #you are incredibly strong and amazing #boromir imagines #lotr x reader #boromir x y/n #comfort fic

[surviving-life]

Hello, my name is Leo and I am a disabled queer intersex minor diagnosed with PTSD. I also have Tourette's (questioning if its just a tic disorder or actually Tourette's), autism, DID, and chronic pain. I wanted to create this blog because every trauma support blog I can find hasn't posted in years. I want to create a place where I can vent and provide a place for others to do the same.

My pronouns are he/they.

I don't have a strict DNI other than racists/ableists/sexists. Although I should note I support:

Mspec lesbians/gays/straights, lesboys/turiagirls, etc

Endogenic systems

Educated self-diagnosis

Paraphilias that do not cause harm and recovery for those that would cause harm if acted on. Thought crimes are not real, and certain paraphilias are often caused by trauma.

Transgender people who don't have dysphoria and/or don't want to transition

#intro post #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery #ptsd #actually ptsd #csa survivor #cocsa survivor #rape survivor #trauma #recovery

[depressedveganhippie]

The pressure to act is rising. I’m so scared. I’m not ready. I don’t know what to do. I have to do something. I’m apathetic, and filled with rage at the same time. I’m dead inside. I’m so scared.

#trauma #vengeance #rape survivor #what to do

[little-witchys-garden]

Tw r×pe + victim blaming + possible queerphobia + ab×se

Dear erotica authors

STOP SAYING R×PE IS ROMANTIC AND STOP PUTTING IN INTO ROMANCE BOOKS AND DARK ROMANCE.

My friend send me this erotica author because she was like: yeah this book is really "weird " because this guy basically can't handle the fact his wife doesn't wanna sleep with him and he's like " then I'll wait you do "

So I was like that's weird SO I READ THE COMMENTS AND DID SOME RESEARCH...

Ima give y'all this first

Yeah and it gets worse umm the book from what I was told hints that the woman...deserved it for being a " prude ", bratty, and wrong for not putting out..

A few woman felt there was hints or undertones of the main female character aka the one that gets r×ped being either I'm the ace spec or a wlw.... Many of them were left uncomfortable since they felt from reading the book that the r×pe made out as a punishment....

Then I looked up the " trigger warning "

I.... Does this fool not know what triggers are???? Does she realize triggers can be anything so when you write such things you need to warn triggers like dr×gs, ab×se and r×pe etc.

This is not a trigger warning..

In all her reels and posts she puts out, she doesn't of course mention the ab×se or r×pe....

No

Its played off as a mobster man with just to much love in his heart is marriged to a woman that is just scared of opening up. It's played off as a one sided slowburning love not ya know.. A woman being ab×sed, r×ped, blamed and has to stay with her r×pist... Just leaves that part out..

R×pe isn't romance

It's not even dark romance..

#rape culture #intersectional feminism #why we need feminism #feminism #feminist #rape survivor #victim blaming #trauma rant #bookworm #books #booklover #book review #book rant #book blog #bookish #romance #romance books

[barcodeboyz]

Tw vent ab rape

Why did he do it. He confided things in me. I thought we built a connection. Maybe not a romantic one, but a connection nonetheless. He didn’t even say goodbye when he left. He finished and went without saying a word. Out of my room, out of my dorm, out of my life.

Why did he do it.

#tw rape mention #rape tw #tw rape #rape survivor #rape #rapesurvivor

[catssleeponme]

[existential screaming into the void]

#my fark shitpost #battleship potemkin #trauma and recovery #trans women #ipv survivor #mental illness #rape survivor #addiction recovery #addiction recovery trauma survivor #sometimes you need this #sometimes you just gotta

[therapythoughtstogether]

Update on my situation - I'm safe now!

Pinning this because kind strangers who come across some of my older posts are still concerned about me 🥺

This gif represents me hugging (if that's ok) each of you who has showed me support in the distance, who has prayed for me, sent good vibes, positive thoughts, sent asks helping me not to give up, etc.

I have you all in my heart and in my thoughts and I wish that life treats you kindly. The world is a better place because of you all 💫.

#therapy thoughts #life update #I'm safe #thank you all #I appreciate you beyond words #abuse survivor #DM survivor #rape survivor #ptsd #bpd #it's time to heal #healing takes time #but I'm here for it

[ashwashw]

I’d rather die, then have my house violated again.

Because, once someone’s come and invaded, looted and loitered your home and they’ve gone, you’re left to deal with all the mess, with all the wreckage, with all the damage that you never know if you’ll even ever get out of.

So, no. I wouldn’t rather “give” my body over to someone if threatened, I’d rather die and not live through something like that another time.

#ashwashw #tw #rape #survivor #rape survivor #home #body #house #wreckage #damage #looting #death #die #threaths #this is literally a fixed thought in my head as of the last two days #which is resulting in this inner projection of the current political climate in my country

[thyroiddiseasediaries]

Do you know how hard it is to trust your instinct after it failed you?

After PTSD? 

My nervous system is constantly telling me to abort mission and run. 

I trust no one,

I find it hard to think about anything else but, IF I needed to fight. Could I fight this person and how? Mostly just if I will fawn/freeze again. 

The hardest part is your gut is still in their, even though it’s hard to hear that soft quiet voice in the midst of the rather loud ass demons and mental illness whoa’s. Anxiety is exhausting. Mental illness is exhausting. You feel like you’ve lost your compass. Your intuition, your gut, your instincts. 

But somehow, it’s still there. But you have to be still and quiet so you can hear what it’s saying, or just listening to the pit in your stomach. 

How long did it take you to let someone in after your assault?

How do do you know the person is good?

How did you even get to a point where you could even believe that there was goodness left in the world. Kindness?

How do you know when it’s time to live again?

Not just survive. 

I think it’s been 7 years, maybe 8. I don’t want him and the other men who touched me when I didn’t want to be touched to take away ANY more time from me. I’ve lost most of my 20′s to them... to him. I  don’t want to lose another second. But I haven’t the foggiest idea of how to move forward in a healthy and positive way both mentally and physically. 

I so badly want him in my review mirror, left for dead. 

For him to spend a few years lost, alone and scared too. 

I’m reaching out for help, for the first time I’m ready to face it and I’m not afraid anymore of not being believed, being blamed, interrogated, chastised for the “mistakes” I made that put me in that kind of danger or worst of all... having it not considered rape. Because the only kind Lifetime movies and Dateline taught me about were the boogie men. The reason we clench our keys like wolverine, rarely did they talk about what’s considered “date rape” as if it’s somehow less serious, less life altering, less traumatizing. Like it’s not “technically” rape. 

To which now I say, *middle finger*

So I ask this to all survivors of sexual assault, ptsd and any comorbidities that comes with poor mental/physical health who also retreated inward to deal with your trauma. Did therapy help? Did anything help? When did you decide it was time to date or try to? How did you know it was right or safe?

Did you ever find yourself again?

Is their a light at the end of the tunnel, or is it just the train?

#sa survivor #rape survivor #mentally ill #ptsd #complex ptsd #bpd #pmdd #mental illness

[willaculture]

all it took him was one selfish afternoon to ruin the rest of my life.

i hate him for what he did to me.

#rape survivor #my writing #personal vent #vent post #tw rape #rape trauma #rapesurvivor #rape

[blueprint-poetry]

for the record

“Wow. Okay.” I said when I finally made it home. I was screaming in the car alone just to keep the wheel and record straight. That was something else you insinuate- d. And I heard in that moment just what the truth is.

I ran it by the sanctuary. No, it’s not just something wrong with me. Did you forget how far He’s gone just to redeem me? I’m going.

And space, it is, because He ordered this, said, I need you to quiet down and withdraw from all of this,  we’re going into surgery. And I’m terrified— my living room floor is an operating table. It’s why I let so few through the door, and why I’ve been unable.

My past and parts played do not define me. Funny thing, it was a broken thing that renewed me. So don’t come back until you see me, and not through your eyes.

He’s looking deep where their empty wells drained me. And I am crawling but I’m crawling towards the holy. Down at the foot of the cross where they never took me, I carried my own weight and He set the record straight.

Because, no, man may victimize, that never meant I deserved it. And I don’t want to talk if that’s what you believe the truth is.

—blueprint poetry

#poetry #blueprint poetry #loneliness #neglect #negligence #abuse #abuse survivor #fake friends #toxic relationship #inconvenient #healing #recovery through poetry #christianity #my faith #by it i see the world #for the record #rape #rape survivor #victim blaming #gaslighting