#rarely do you get it both ways

[ohitslen]

Intrusive thoughts

#nothing like thinking about how it’d be to murder your homie. we all do that aaaall the time right #a passion of mine is writing dialogue in a way that you could interchange who says it and it’d still make sense when it comes to Vashwood #they both get insane intrusive thoughts and that’s a matter of fact #they are turbo traumatized so it’s even worse at times. this is what I would say one of the tamest instances if that means anything #Vash would feel so guilty abt them too. bc they don’t feel like his thoughts. it’s almost as if it was someone else’s #they have pointed their guns at each other but never shoot. the thoughts have lost another day <3 #Vashwood is: having thoughts and rarely do anything abt them (positive and negative) #everybody who has intrusive thoughts say hell yeah. HELL YEAH!!! #gentle reminder that intrusive thoughts are just that and don’t define you as a person. they are. I’m fact. intrusive #intrusive thoughts #cw intrusive thoughts #tw intrusive thoughts #for those who may need to filter those out #trigun #vash the stampede #nicholas d wolfwood #trigun stampede #vashwood #trigun fanart #vash #wolfwood #nicholas trigun #lenssi draws #lenssi writes #because I wrote the lines first and THEN I did the drawings #still fixated on Vash’s eyes btw if you didn’t notice

[tswwwit]

I know Bill's the big bad demon everyone is afraid of and he will protect his husband at all costs (when no one's looking), but I think it's also worth mentioning that Dipper, even being the dorky, squishy human that he is, also cares about his dumb demon hubby and wants to keep him safe, even if it annoys Bill, and really, he doesn't need protecting the way Dipper does. He isn't going to puff out his chest and get in someone's face like some macho man, but I think Dipper knee-jerk reaction when Bill's in "danger" isn't to just shrug because he's an all-powerful demon who can handle it. If a blast that could level a whole town was aimed at Bill's head (for him, this just means a bad hair day and a new body), Dipper's immediate impulse is to push him out of the way or defend him against whatever wants to kill his familiar. Because he's not thinking "Bill could literally end this match in .3 seconds." He's thinking "if you touch even one hair on that asshole's head, I'm going to knock yours clean off your shoulders." I don't know what the point even is in this post, just that Dipper is this nerdy, unassuming guy who ends up being viciously protective under the right conditions. Like I think Dipper pulls off the bloody and vengeful look SO well that Bill immediately melts and just lets him handle the situation, even though it's not really Dipper's fight to begin with. He's beating the guy to a pulp with zero reserve, and Bill's off to the side swooning and twirling his hair over his man for getting his hands dirty for him.

It's true! While Bill's not the type to enjoy being underestimated, he has to admit! Seeing his adorable husband all riled up on his behalf is a hell of a sight.

The thing is, Dipper's a good guy! He can't help but put himself in danger over others. Even when all reason and logic say that Bill would be absolutely fine if he got his head exploded or a shiv in his kidney, Dipper's instinct is to fully and immediately get in the way of that. To, in fact, be protective.

Mostly this is only evident when Dipper has to stand up to Ford. Yes, yes, Bill's a vile horrible monstrosity, but he didn't do that particular thing you're accusing him of. Watching him stand up to his uncle is a particular treat!

For bigger threats, though - Well. Bill's gonna be absolutely fine, no matter what happens, thank you very much. But he's definitely not opposed to seeing some guy who was about to literally stab him in the back get a few of his teeth knocked out.

#answers #Dipper doesn't like seeing his husband get hurt. Yes Bill likes pain and all but only contextually. And he's immortal. #But Dipper can't help but cringe and wince on his behalf anyway. He talks a lot of shit but he really does love his bastard husband #When it comes to most of the the Ford situations #Bill gets to have fun with those #Dipper's ready to argue on Bill's behalf. Most times. Yes a little head-explodey doesn't keep Bill down but Dipper is NOT a fan #Catch Bill standing just behind Dipper - or even leaping up into his arms and nearly making him topple over - #Only to look very self-satisfied. Going :3 'yes I am babey' #Looking like the perfect innocent cherub he absolutely isn't gets on Ford's nerves in a HUGE way #Both super obnoxious AND it makes his mortal roll his eyes at him. SO fun! #For other times he gets defended it's Bill's turn to roll his eyes #But goddamn if it isn't cute as hell. PLUS it's one of the rare times he actually sees Dipper really riled up #Not in like a flustered argumentative type of way. In an actual Fuck You You're Going Down kinda way #Real stupid that Dipper keeps doing this. But real hard to oppose it when Bill gets such a view outta it! #Also concept: Dipper trying to shield Bill while he's in his real form and feeling a moment of 'oh no' when he fails #Only for like. The knife to go 'tink' off his surface. Bill looks unimpressed #Another reminder for Dipper that yeah okay Bill can handle himself. He feels pretty dumb about it #That's okay DIpper you mean well! Bill will still smooch you for trying #APPROVED.jpeg implied but not included due to me adding too much text

[corfisers]

i really need to finish this one day

#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully #anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason #incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up #you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot #he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him #in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened. #you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from #you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help? #doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance #proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long #yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him #yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that #and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do” #“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem” #(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.) #he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway #but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again. #something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh #for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been #which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad #but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence? #she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”. #wips tag

[designernishiki]

I feel like I liked yakuza 5 a lot more than most people for some reason

#like a lot of people seem to not like it or think it’s mid #idk man but it was one of the games I enjoyed most and I really liked the range of characters you get to play #love me a murder mystery too #idk I think people seem to not like how disjointed the plot is at first and trying to keep up with everyone’s seperate plot and characters #and etc. but I personally really liked how it was all disjointed and the further you get into the game / the more characters you play the #more shit starts coming together and forming a full picture #like don’t get me wrong it’s not perfect and I do have qualms with some. choices. (mostly having to do with majima and #mirei) but overall it’s one of the games I’ve enjoyed the most and that’s kept me interested in the plot the most #fantastic to get a more in-depth look at haruka and to get to really know her by playing her and seeing how she interacts with people and #choices she makes and etc. I don’t think she was a fully fleshed out character prior to that #loved her with all my heart already don’t get me wrong but she just didn’t have much time on screen especially as a teenager to fully get #her personality across and some of the issues she deals with (mommy issues. abandonment issues #etc). #and her and uncle akiyama are a very nice unexpected duo!!! #the different settings were fun too. overall I think the whole thing just felt like more of a streamlined story in a way with drastically #different viewpoints depending on the character #also shinada’s a gift. bless him #daigo feels three dimensional and emotionally present in a way I didn’t see much in other games- even when he’s literally a boss in 4. tbh #the only other time I think he feels really solid as a character is in fuckin dead souls. I think it’s cause it’s SO rare to see daigo in #non-serious situations or vulnerable with people on purpose. dead souls has the first thing and y5 has a bit of both #and I could complain more about how y6 SHOULD have made daigo more present instead of sending him to fuckin jail the whole time but. I do #get that that was kind of important to the plot. I mean to have that power vacuum. don’t think all three of them should’ve been put in jail #but I digress. anyway I got off topic point is I enjoyed yakuza 5 it is very unique in my opinion #y5 #rambling #ALL THESE TAGS AND I FORGOT TO MENTION KIRYU BEING ANGSTY AND GAY AS HELL. THE BEST PART OF YAKUZA 5

[itspileofgoodthings]

me to Nina yesterday: explaining how due to a headache and exhaustion I wasted away the end of my afternoon just watching Ryan Gosling interviews

Nina, instantly sympathetic: and I completely understand that, a valid thing to do

#the thing about Nina is that most of the time she not only hates my coping mechanisms she also plain doesn’t understand them #one of the many tensions of our relationship #but she was just 100% like yeah. I fully get it #and it made me feel so much better #my relationship with Nina the work of a lifetime because the moments of mutual understanding are so rare #but so powerful when they happen. and it takes years to discover that sudden gold #(my mom is often so troubled by our relationship. she’s just like (whisper voice): do you guys even like each other) #because we’re just SO sparks fly (antagonistic version) in many of our interactions #and it’s just like. YEAH. We’re just going to have an intense altercation and clashing of opinions viewpoints values and perspectives #at least every other day. LOL #but we will navigate it! #no one on the planet I smooth things over with as fast as Nina. it is lightning-speed reconciliation #because we both move on so quickly in the same way. in that the mood will just lift #we got in a fight the other day. Nina left and stormed out. 10 minutes later I get a text going #‘I’m sorry Maria. I should not have said that about your mother’ #which made me laugh because we weren’t fighting about our mom. She just likes to quote Jacqueline from ever after sometimes out of context #and my mom was on the couch watching me like ‘you’re reconciled???? It’s over?????????’ #because my mom a) is so different from both of us in the speed she processes in and b) has no sisters #0 sisters. 4 daughters. and she still isn’t used to it lol. because my mom’s strength and weakness is that she never gets used to anything! #ALSO Nina told me the other day that I’m the one that taught her to apologize because I would just make her do it when we were kids #not to me but to other people! I would just sit there and explain how verbal acknowledgement of wrongdoing would make things better #and she was always like ‘ughhh I hate it so much. FINE’ because she always does want to make things better #anyway this SHOOK ME TO MY CORE. Because I never thought Nina actually internalized any of the things I’ve said to her ever lol #and she was like ‘yeah you gave me that good habit’ #(I love apologizing. Love to put it into words and I have an intense need to do it immediately and thoroughly) #(tbh it’s only with time that I’ve come to see that other people do not work that way. and need more time. and are not just — #instantly comfortable putting everything into words especially the hard things) #(because it’s not like I’m always driven by more charity and compunction. I just ducking HATE unresolved things not put into words) #(so it helps me feel better. and sometimes you just gotta learn to not say it right away if it’s only going to make things worse #(or learn to say it in different way without words. that actually communicates the sorrow. And that can sometimes look like giving space!)

[galacticlamps]

'to thine own self be true (and thou canst not then be false to any man)' Polonius tells his son Laertes in Act 1 - and it's so trite a saying that we quote it on everything from greeting cards to jewelry and almost laugh to stumble upon it in its original context

and then Laertes goes and spends the rest of the play - and let's face it, what little of it came before that as well - playing the foil to its tragic hero until it kills them both in Act 5 (and through the means of his own deception too)

#i am soooo normal about laertes (i'm lying) #one day i'll write a book about how normal i am about him but for now have this textpost #anyways nobody asked but i think that's probably the shakespeare quote i have the biggest love/hate relationship with #because we talk about it so much but hardly ever actually talk about IT #and even when we do it's mainly to be like 'oh polonius you with your empty maxims you!' (& we do need to remember that part too) #but it's also: #'oh polonius you are in conjunction with that & in more ways than one the very thing that dooms your son and therefore all of them' #it's the quintessential hashtag-its-not-that-deep quote #while at the same time being bitterly ironic and rarely do you get to discuss how both of those things can be true at once #so i Love it but i also Hate that i could undoubtedly find it on a t-shirt without much effort yk? #(and before anyone points out that there are multiple shakespeare quotes for which the same can be said re: the whole #itssodeep-noitsnot-actuallymaybeitisforadifferentreasontho dance #trust me i know but i refer you back to the first tag & how extremely normal i am about the character of laertes in general)

[toastsnaffler]

thinking abt the touden siblings got me sniffling and weeping....

#im.too emotional abt them to properly explain #just rly glad to see autistic characters in media that i can deeply relate to and share experiences with. its such a rare thing #and i feel so protective of them i dont give a fuck abt fandom normally but some ppls bad takes lately are getting under my skin #like just say u hate autistic people and leave. stop calling laios a fucking freak im going to kill you with my bare hands #ppl think theyre so smart and funny for making posts like haha hes thr type of autistic that makes everyone uncomfortable and wish he- #would shut up or go away. im going to start hitting u with a brick until ur a bloody pulp #and thw way ppl treat falin so differently just bc shes not a guy. even tho theyre both clearly autistic and struggle socially #like wow thats crazy. do you act this way abt autistic ppl irl too #whatever just liberally blocking ppl abt it i dont fucking wanna see ur stupid posts #anyway.. back to thjnking abt their backstories and crying a little. masculinely of course #man i am soooo tired im so glad its the weekend i want to melt into a puddle and soak into the carpet and stain it forever #but we dont.have carpet.in this flat so.i guess ill just go to bed...... #well maybe a little elden ring first #i would reallt like to draw sometime this weekend too. need to muster up some creative courage #but thats a problem for tomorrow... zzz #.diaries

[enderspawn]

my desire to dress in fun and alternative fashion styles vs the plus sized learned instinct to never order clothing online o(-(

#bc like. 1. it’s rare they ever even HAVE it in your size #(esp for more Asian inspired/originated styles like harajuku styles bc they already run smaller) #and even if they do like. you don’t know and can’t trust how it’ll actually Fit and Lay. RVEN IF they provide measurements which not all do #and like. returning and getting refunds is Such A Hassle #it seems the only way to effectively do so is a lot of making your own clothing and DIY and that’s. a lot more of a time investment #both in learning and then applying those skills #than I can afford o(-( #let alone the Prices. god the Prices. #this isn’t even strictly like. darker alt styles either. #idk man I saw some TikTok’s of ppl being like ‘how I did my makeup in 2020!!’ and. they were treating it so cringe but it was so fun fr #for a while dabbling in alternative fashions Was a mainstream and I’m really sad ppl look back to that as cringe #anyway. I say all this like I wouldn’t be too lazy to dress like that anyway HDKSB #og post #personal

[todayisafridaynight]

fathers day is this month how am i going to inflict psychic damage on myself

#snap chats #we were cute and sillay even for mothers day last month #but unfortunately i actually love my dad and i miss him so the possibility of doing something a lil moody is very real #i love how i always say i miss my dad as if hes dead. hes not dead hes just scared of my mom which. fair we all are LMAO #anyhow esp when im leaning towards doing something focused on jo since last month was more for arakawa... #i dont have anything in mind yet but i have the semblance of an idea... its budding but i dont have it refined in the dome... #because i also wanna see if i can do something for arakawa too so idk if i wanna knock out two birds with one stone for one comic #or make two separate posts (whether those are pics or comics idkidk) #i always really like to imagine quiet moments between jo and masato- however rare they might have been in canon #oh wait im gonna throw up what if i posted that prison comic on fathers day #if i dont get any ideas i just might.. unless i get too impatient and post it earlier ☠️ #anyway this is just a promise i will be goofy on fathers day. except instead of Actual Goofy i might post something Cereal for once #nothing i say makes fucking sense unless you know my lexicon fucking 'cereal' is my Cute And Quirky way of saying serious #because Im Cute And Quirky alright moving on #Being Serious and Emotional isnt my forte. im very bad at doing both so i of course try to be funny instead #bu maybe this once..... the jo and masato feelins are strong this month...... #its cause my moms giving me a harder time than usual so of course im just thinking of my dad more and Now We're Here #alright im finally gonna finish my comm then i might get to cooking bye

[hella1975]

wicked game by chris isaak as a zukka song. discuss

#as THE zukka song even. ive been listening to this on loop this morning #it's also specifically very tams and taob zukka coded just bc it's got that jaded 'been through hell' vibe to it #'the world was on fire and no one could save me but you' hello... literally the war..... sokka pulling zuko out of it.... the gaang winning #'i never dreamed that id love somebody like you' GOES BOTH WAYS #also the chorus kinda reluctant to fall in love but it's happening anyway? VERY TAOB AND TAMS CODED #like i always said taob zukka's anthem was georgia particularly bc of 'if i fix you will you hate me' #and 'i dont want to fall in love with you (the world is only gonna break your heart)' gives similar vibes #and the tams angle is bc tams zuko's whole thing is that he wants NOTHING to do with the war #like he's had enough he's seen enough he's well and truly given up hope #he's lost his fight which is such a heartbreaking thing to consider for ZUKO of all people #and the gaang kind of. forcefully give him hope again and restore his faith in humanity and he's fighting it every step of the way #bc if he gets his fight back then it means he can't just be jaded and indifferent to the injustice he's seen and experienced #he has to deal with it head on and that's such a horrible scary thing and he just doesn't want to fight anymore #literally 'what a wicked game to play to make me feel this way what a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you' #in this essay i will- #twice as many stars #taob updates #<- very funny to me that i just use that tag as a taob dumping ground like it very rarely has anything to do with an update <3 #zukka

[bandzboy]

honestly i’ve been saying this! it’s sad how everything is summed up to charts and numbers and who is on top 10 billboard and not the songs themselves

#i also feel like stan twt culture makes everything ten times worse for artists #some people are on these fandoms and hate the artists #they just wanna have discourse and hate on them #some people still care about discussing music #but it’s very rare for me to see that nowadays #all i see is people hating on the artists and caring about charts in an unhealthy way #this goes for both western and kpop industry #bc let me not even get started on the later #but yeah in terms of creativity making music to chart is very limiting #and this is something i have discussed with my teachers and colleagues in music production #it’s honestly limiting and not good to solely care about what the public wants #you can care but at the end of the day you should do want you want #i also know there’s a pressure from labels for artists to chart #but honestly that’s something that should stop because #this whole pressure to make money literally burns out anyone #that is a musician/producer/songwriter #tris.txt

[sualne]

been looking for jobs for three years and in the past two months ish I’ve gotten for the first time my first job interview and for a different job my first job essay.

(I did have an actual job as a comic colorist for like six months but nobody around me considered it a Real Job so I feel like I just never have a job even though I very much did.)

and each time, during the interview where I know realise I was kind of being explained the whole time why I wouldn’t get the job and at the end of the essay(which might not be the right word, like a day we’re your try out the job to see if you can do it) one of the reasons given why I wouldn’t be taken it was ‘we need people who can smile’.

(there were actual argument like being ‘too introverted’ and ‘not dynamic enough’. That last one is funny because i had another ‘almost pass out for no reasons’ moment right for break time (genuinely perfect timing) during the essay and while I was cold sweating and going blind on the bathroom floor I realised, if anyone ever know I have health issues I will never get a job. So being told I wasn’t dynamic enough a fourty something minutes later was straight up comedic).

Back to the smiling, my entire life since I was a literal baby I’ve been told I wasn’t expressing the Right Way. ‘If you feel a specific way you Have to emote this specific way, act this specific way and not do anything else otherwise you’re not actually feeling what you say you’re feeling, it means you’re actually lying, faking it or don’t know what you’re actually feeling because your not showing it the Right Way’ and obviously I’ve dismissed this my entire life because I was sure it was obvious and everyone knew that everyone exist differently and people don’t act the same. I kind of assume everyone that ever bothered me about it was some flavor of 1 having a day and decided to being weird about it to me or anyone else that was also not existing the correct way. 2 just kind of an asshole and therefor they’re opinion didn’t matter. 3 just kind of strange about thing and so be it, ´not my problem tho’ I thought.

But seeing how it’s an actual argument people have use twice now to refuse me a job I’m kind of being thinking, it might actually, for real, be a thing people actually are worried about, actually. Which is wild, but also make sense because people have very much for my whole life, to me and to a ton of strangers, made comments on folks not existing the proper way. Like how in horror someone being slightly off, slightly wrong, a little bit not how it usual should be is the trope of all time. And I love this trope, someone who’s voice is in differed from how they mouth work, someone who seems to not walk directly on the floor but just slightly above it. It’s fun and interesting.

Anyway, real life stuff, being told I’m not smiling enough is wild, like yeah I don’t smile much at all that’s a fact, and both job were about interacting with people and every time you go to a restaurant you’ll ear someone saying out of nowhere mean thing about people who work there. Insane things like ‘I don’t like the way they’re standing’ and over analysing someone expression and body languages when they’re literally just doing their job.

This post is kind of a mess but I had a point which was, I don’t understand people and why are so many mean for no reasons but I wanted it to sound less like a kid complaining and be more verbose about it.

And (this isn’t over yet) I did force myself to smile, like I very much did, I tried my best to be as pleasant and polite as possible. And being told again, this isn’t enough, just suck. Like I have to mask and hide and deal with so much I kind of expected that of all thing I was allowed to keep my face. Like people have bothered me about it my entire life and I’ve dismissed it my entire life because it just did not make sense and I couldn’t make it make sense(still can’t). But I’m genuinely at lost at what to do about it, if apparently I also have to change my face to get a job, that I need to exist the correct way in order to have the damn job in order to exist at all is all so, Not Good.

#long post #Im not proof reading this becaus I’ll miss typos either way but yeah been having a bit of a I guess more A Confusion rather than a crisis #but like. yeah. confusion yknow. sending resume all the time. rarely every getting a response and when you do it’s a automotic ‘you’re not #profile we want’ or ‘the employer has move on in the process’ of whatever. so the two time I actually got as for as actually going to #places to talk to people feels both like a huge progress and ?? adjective for what in the world can I do about all this #and like I said i did have a job and k was so happy because it was working on comic and I was ‘oh I’m doing my dream job I’m doing it’ but I #haven’t been able to find anything since. and no one think of it as an actual job and people keep treating my like an helpless child. like #I’ve been told I’m not allowed to stay home alone for a few days even though I’m 23 so I just. wtf at this point yknow. #edit: hehhhh fuck it let’s make this reblogable. his do talk deal with The Everrginf actually. I’d like to ear about it. nothing I can do #how do y’all deal with The Everything*** #but keep sending resumes and wait.

[fjordfolk]

also just bracing myself for if i eventually do pick out a sire for troja because frustrating and hypocritical etc etc but i will eventually end up sacrificing a known health result or two for untested factors

#INFURIATING because i want ALL dogs to have full health testing god damn it #but that is not the world i live in #the norm here is still ONLY eye screening #MAYBE a HD result. MAYBE a CEA or MDR1 result. rarely both #and unfortunately i would rather risk producing a puppy with CRD than with bad temperament #or GI issues. #or those apparent neurological episodes that are currently popping up in the wake of that US import male #theres a constant weighing of hating my breed community for being anti-testing and trying not to blind myself on numbers and acronyms #my goal is the highest possible likelihood of getting a dog #thats as likely as possible to live as long and well as possible with the least possible amount of intervention or mitigation #a dog can have CRD and still do that. a dog can not be fearful and do that. #HD is a minefield almost literally and it fckn kills me that we only have single-dog results to go off #and thats not even getting into reading discrepancies between countries #you can have a better set of genetics in a C dog than an A-B dog and ppl will use that as an excuse to not test at all bc its 'unreliable' #when we should use that as a reason to test WAY MORE because we need WIDTH in our results to make accurate assessments #anyway sorry sorry anyone mentions a sire for troj and my brain goes like those spirit boxes on ghost shows

[fourteenthz]

thinking about this response being an usual trigger for balthier whenever someone doesn't hear fran.........

#vaan doesn't even open his mouth and this guy is on his face like “what? what is it? you think she's wrong?” #it's the NO hesitation to defend her view for me. man I LOVE quiet characters x confident characters SO MUCH #i just really like how fran rarely says anything but when she does balthier takes it like LAW he's like “yall heard her lets go” #giffing this one later I think bc I haven't see it on tumblr yet but this scene is such great grasp into their characters #she's the one that saves them and get them out of here she's the on not getting in trouble but getting things done right #meanwhile balthier is the one helping vaan out of this mess and enjoying it way too much. being loud. #two seconds before this sc fran is like “this way here but...” and trials off and balthier is like “you sense the mist” HE KNOWS...... #its the way their eyes wanders to met each other's for me as well. the microexpressions on this game are SO good. #and there's no hesitation to him if she said that's the way even if it seemed like BAD to go there so when vaan asks its almost funny #how imediatelly triggered he gets. i want to gif it bc this is the only way you can see the timing of it. #kid doesn't get to finish his train of thoughts balthier is ON his face POINTING and all #and I love how it isn't like... he's trying to be mean whatever it's genuinelly him trying to explain like “don't question fran” he's just #loud and confident abt everything. the voice acting for this part to i'm being sooo silly rn. they make me soo normal. #its the exact same energy of “no one knows man like fran does” ooooh im giffing both. do I wait to finish the game to see if there are any #more of these? AAUAGHH IDK I want to gif if rn.... they are sooo dear to me man.... #completely unrelated but I think I'm adding making-balthier's-rings as my to do list this summer........ they are so silly. i love it a lot #kelly plays xii #kelly says #dl

[icewindandboringhorror]

I think the hardest thing in writing for me sometimes is the like “show don’t tell/let people communicate through subtext/Normal People don’t just walk around openly explaining their motivations for everything That’s Unnatural” thing because like.. I literally DO walk around openly explaining my motivations for everything, that is how I talk, I am an analytical detail oriented over-communicator who explains everything as thoroughly as possible and and will give a fully detailed 2 minute long answer to something simple like “how are you doing today?” .. like it’s hard to make things sound Natural and Normal when you yourself are inherently unnatural and abnormal in your methods of communication to an extent lol

#''hey. whats up? you look kind of sad.. is something wrong?'' normal answer (apparently how people are supposed to talk): *looks away #remosefully and stares into the distance* ''n-no.. I'm fine. don't worry about it.'' abnormal answer (how I would respond): ''Yeah I #'m mostly fine. I was just thinking about what the future is going to be like 30 years from now and if I'll ever actually accomplish anythin #g that I want to. which makes me feel X way for XYZ reason. you see because I had a dream last night that made me think of *continues to exp #lain my exact emotional state and inner thought process completely matter of factly in exact detail for 5 more minutes* #tfw you would be a badly written character if you existed in a story lol #This is also why I struggle making conflict because most conflicts can be resolved through conversation and I personally love to have long #detailed conversations about everything. Like literally I don't have hardly any conflicts interpersonally because if something happens it's #immediately followed up with like ''hey sorry if my tone of voice sounded a bit pointed or harsh. when you were talking to me I was trying #to balance all the stuff I was taking up the stairs and also my leg hurts so I think all my mental energy was being used there and I just #didn't feel like talking. I should have just said 'wait a minute and we can discuss it inside' instead of trying to end the conversation qui #ckly in a short rude way.' ''oh yeah thats fine. I thought it was something like that. sorry for hounding you about the topic as well. i #havent eaten in a while so I think I'm just a bit prickly at the moment. we should both rest for a while and destress from the store #trip and then talk about it later. maybe after lunch?' 'sure. sounds good.' like LITERALLY. lol #it is so hard for me to write characters who are bad communicators or don't understand their own internal states or arent constantly #analyzing their own actions to understand what they do/don't feel and why and what the cause of it is and etc. etc. etc. #I just naturally want everyone to perfectly undertsand everything and communicate amazingly and have complete self awareness and #logical presence of mind gjhbj.. which like.. of course comes across as unnatyural and also those type of people rarely ever get involved in #conflict and conflict is APPARENTLY what drives stories (even though I don't like most conflicts and just want to resolve them lol) so ...aa #I mean you can get around this to some degree by the fact that (at least in my opinion) no rule for dialogue is 100%. dialogue is good if it #sounds naturally like it comes from the character who said it. It can be meandering and pointless and rambly IF that matches the character. #it can be dry and overly self aware IF your character is that way and it suits them. So like throwing in a few detached scholar types or lik #e '5000 year old cave dwelling hermit' type people is good for me and works BUT the thing is an ENTIRE cast of characters can't be that way. #at some point - even in a setting where everyone is reserved and academic (like a research camp in the wilderness full of scholars and stuff #) still SOMEBODY has to be the one who's conflict prone and doesn't pristinely understand all of their emotions and etc. etc. Because statis #tically that is still literally the majority. Kind of like my tendency to make everyone 100% aromantic and asexul when it's like.. YES.. may #be 2 or 3 or even 4 out of 10 of them could be that way. but like.. an entire group? a diverse group of 10 people from all walks of life and #EVERY single one is like that??? hgjh . you have to add realistic variety #As much as I'm pro 'have more stories where sex or romance are literally NOT involved at all in any capacity since it's already oversaturate #d in media' I'm also dedicated to realism. alas. (at least as realistic as you can get in a fantasy setting lol)

[sleepless-crows]

growing up is your parents suddenly talking about buying you a car if you get accepted to this university with free tuition so that you don't have to commute when it feels like yesterday that you weren't even allowed to sit on a car's passenger seat

#or how your aunt is telling you how she wants to buy you so many makeup when it feels like yesterday that people your age wearing makeup was #such a rare thing #and its so scary. i didnt get to go outside and grow through experiencing things for like 2-3 years because of covid and now the expectatio #ns and responsibilities for people my age are way bigger and way scarier #but i still feel like im in seventh grade #oh i finally do feel seventh grade not sixth grade anymore #i am way past both those two grades #its so scary to me