#rasa thirst

[bridgetotheskyyy]

chapter one.

masterlist.

Chapter Summary: You are escorted to Suna to meet your future husband-to-be - Gaara, the Kazekage - with the knowledge you must poison him.

Chapter Warnings: alcohol, hints of parental abuse, mentions of poison

Word count: 7.5k

a/n: We're finally here! Hehe I'm excited to share this with y'all! The first chapter's been up on ao3 for a while and I've finally gotten around to crossposting here. Chapter two will be available in August! If you're interested in extra notes I highly recommend keeping an eye on this story on ao3. Hope you enjoy!

Read on ao3 here.

“Lord Boutoku.” Lord Kankuro bowed. His men followed his motion, two shinobi who flanked him from behind. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Lord Boutoku — Father — sat stoic on his throne, knuckles supporting his chin. He, too, was flanked by men; members of your village’s council, shinobi poised to act. “Likewise, Lord Kankuro. I take it our accommodations were to your taste?”

“Oh, definitely,” Kankuro said, scratching the back of his head. “I thought I’d die of thirst on the way here! Of course, I imagine you all don’t have that problem, what with your oasis and all.” He laughed nervously.

No laughs followed. Father tapped his chin, unmoved and unamused. You almost felt sorry for Kankuro; Father was not a humorous man. You hadn’t seen him crack a single smile since your mother’s death all those years ago.

Kankuro’s laughter died. He must have guessed he’d caused some offense; he sank to his knees, fully prostrating himself. 

“Lord Boutoku,” he began, “I would like to apologize formally on the behalf on the Sand. The way Sunagakure has treated the Oasis village is utterly reprehensible. We only hope this new arrangement between your village and ours can alleviate the bad blood that lies between us.”

Bad blood.

That was an understatement.

Despite the power of the oasis, your village was small. Smack dab in the middle of the country of Wind, perennially antagonized by the Fourth Kazekage for its secrets, amongst other powers. Again and again, the Fourth had sent ninja to attack your village in hopes of stealing those secrets, oasis ninja slaughtered again and again in the name of protecting your home.

 Usually at the hands of his son.

You looked up at your father and waited for his response. 

“Your apology is much appreciated.” Father leaned forward with a hand on the arm of his chair. “I, too, hope this marriage will augur better things to come.”

“Yes.” Kankuro raised from his place, risking eye contact with Father. “The wedding between the Kazekage and your daughter will take place a month from now.”

“See that it does.”

You wrung hands in your lap. You had never, ever left your village before. Nor had Father. Could he really just give you away like this? 

And to Gaara of the Sand Waterfall? The monster of the Land of Wind? 

To assassinate him?

Your new reality was finally beginning to dawn with terrifying finality. It turned your hands clammy and sent your bones shaking underneath your skin. 

“The fourth’s assassination attempts failed to bear results,” Father had explained to you days before this meeting. The wild, crazed menace that lived in his eyes only when in private returned. “The fool. Rasa had no idea what he unleashed into the world and then lacked the strength to take out his own garbage. No matter; we will use more covert methods.”

But I’ve never killed anyone! You wanted to scream. 

“Don’t look like that!” Father snapped, startled you. “You are more than adequate for such a task. I do not ask you to imitate the shinobi around you. You have all your training as a lady; use your charm. It will conceal you, so long as you do not succumb to nerves. Do it for your brother. His blood is on the Kazekage’s hands. He of all deserves to be avenged.”

Your training … To be a court lady. To seduce, to beguile, to woo, to be beautiful and one day marry a man fit for your station. Not to kill. You didn’t know what he meant, but never would you be such an idiot as to argue with Lord Boutoku, village head, Guardian of the Oasis.

Now, Father nodded. “The time has come for my daughter to follow you.” He faced you, a meaningful glint in the ink black of his eye. “But before she does, I have a goodbye present.”

“Uh.” Kankuro didn’t know what to do with his hands, letting them fall in his lap. “Of course.”

Father motioned with his hands and immediately servants slid the room door open. They left a pillow on the floor, a black box atop it. One of the servants lifted the lid.

Your eyes widened. 

A necklace. Dyed sandstone, the color of turquoise, painted with the wavy indications of the village’s oasis and, in its center, your family emblem: the scorpion. 

Fitting, since it was where the poison was kept. 

“It has a small pocket within,” Father had explained. “The most potent poison known in the world.”

“The scorpion?” You surmised.

“Too obvious,” Father replied. “An extract from a plant that only grows this side of the Wind. You will end the Kazekage’s life with this.” 

It was an order.

“It’s beautiful, Father.” You feigned awe now. Hardly a lie. The necklace was very pretty, but the truth of what lay within tempered the aesthetic. 

“Only the best for my flesh and blood.” Father’s voice was honeyed as he began. “You, my greatest prize, the splitting image of your mother, who remains beautiful both in death and memory.”

You balled fists in your lap. Was it true? Was any of it true? Or did you just want it to be? 

Regardless, you hung on every word with knuckles blanched white.

“I bequeath my daughter to you.” Father focused on Kankuro now. “She will follow you into unknown lands. Proceed knowing you carry my heart with you on this journey.”

“Uh …” Kankuro blinked. “I — yeah — I mean, yes, of course.”

You gathered up the necklace, its chain dangling between the gaps of your fingers. You sat its pendant in your palm, the truth of it tingling your skin.

You bowed to your father. “Thank you.”

He nodded, a secret shared.

“Everything’s ready for us to depart,” Kankuro said. 

“Very well. You may go,” Father said. He lifted his hand, and a shinobi stood. “One of my personal guards, Chuuyou, will accompany you personally. He is the only one I would trust with such a task; my most loyal servant.”

Chuuyou strode toward you, offering a hand. He was much older than you, though you could never pin down an approximate age. Mid thirties? Early forties? His mask hid all but his eyes. 

“Come, Lady (Y/n),” he said, his soft voice an utter contrast to his intimidating build. “Careful, don’t harm yourself …”

Don’t drop the necklace.

You stood, felt the pressure of eyes on you as one of Kankuro’s men held the door open for you. You fixed the necklace around your neck.

“Goodbye, my love,” Father said before you crossed the threshold, “and remember.”

To everyone else, the meaning was obvious: remember me, your village, your home.

But you knew its true meaning:

Remember your duty.

-

“Sooo …” Kankuro’s word lingered. “Is he always like that?” 

Your smile was a bit too genuine. “Yes,” you chuckled.

Your gaze carried out the window; the coach sat in between the two walls concealing your village, and out sand ninja mixed with oasis ninja, sizing each other up, poised to act. Kankuro had brought quite a show with him, and you recognized it for what it was: a show of power. You counted at least fifty men. Your father, never one to be outdone, had raised to meet him with at least eighty to guard you on your way to Suna — and initiate the takeover, once the Kazekage was “handled.” One-hundred thirty in all. Tension stretched the air taut. The severity of it all was unbearable. 

When your eyes trailed higher, your home sprawled before you; giant sandcastles composed the buildings, towers, temples dedicated to the spirit of the oasis, some otherworldly being no one but the village heads had ever seen; bridges protected and nestled by a circling sandstone wall for good measure.

“It’s a shame there has to be so much mistrust between our villages,” You said to say something.

“It is.” Kankuro’s voice was solemn as he rested elbows on his knees. “Look, I know this all must be a … big change for you. It must be scary, too. But it’s okay; everything will be all right.” He tried a smile. “Once you arrive, they’ll be a big celebration. Lots of associates and the like, nothing you can’t handle. That sounds fun, right?”

You faced him. Affable and easy nature. It was sweet of him to try to soothe you. You were nervous — but not for reasons you could share with him. Gaara of the Sand Waterfall, the monster who had killed your brother … Clearly, this tidbit of family history was unknown to them, otherwise there would be no way they could trust you. You knew what you had to do, but how was your father so sure you could do it? Couldn’t he just snap you in two? How were you supposed to pretend to be happy about being married off to someone like that?

You flipped your fan open to conceal the lower end of your face, eyes lowering to the window. “It does. Thank you for your concern … The Kazekage — your brother … what kind of man is he?”

“Gaara?” Kankuro blinked before realization made him smile and scratch his head again, “Oh, okay, I know where this is going. He had quite a … reputation in the past, but he’s very different now. You’ll be safe with him — with us.”

You would say that, wouldn’t you? But still, you’d heard great things about the Kazekage — how he’d help lead the charge during the Fourth Great Ninja War, how he had battled the Uchiha patriarch, befriended the Hokage … 

“The Kazekage has changed a great deal, apparently …” 

“More than you know,” Kankuro joked. “And like I said, we’re very sorry for the grief the Sand has caused your village. You have nothing to fear from him.” His next words were emphatic. “He would never hurt an innocent person, especially a civilian, especially his future wife.”

Perhaps the fear of being ripped to shreds had left you, but there was still the question of his character. And everything else. What if you weren’t his type? What if you couldn’t woo him enough to get close? What then?

The coach jerked. 

“Oh.” Kankuro took note of the scene outside the window. “Good. We’re moving.”

You stuck your head out the window to take one last look at your home. The village began to grow distant as the coach drew past the gate and sank into darkness. It was real. You were leaving. 

“You’ll love the sand, Lady (Y/n),” Kankuro said. “It’s not much of a change at all, in fact.”

“I …”  You trailed. You settled back into the coach. “I look forward to it. And please, just (Y/n) will do; we’ll be family soon enough!”

Kankuro smiled. “All right. (Y/n).”

You returned the smile. The poisoned pendant sat around your neck, pressed against your beating heart.

-

The trip was saved by geography. Your village sat on the far east of the Land of Wind, bordering the Land of Rivers. A day and you were closing in on the Sand. 

When the coach opened, you were dying to stretch your legs. A whole day and a half in a coach had been torture enough, but having Kankuro as company had made it easier, amusing you with impromptu puppet shows and jokes.

“There you go, I gotcha,” he said as he led you by the hand out of the coach onto the hard rocky ground, waited as you reached back to retrieve your gift for the Kazekage.

Immediately your guard, Chuuyou, came to your side as the gates of Sunagakure opened for them like a lion’s maw. The wind whipped at your face and threatened to grain your eyes with sand.

“Are you all right, my lady?” he asked.

“Yes.” You opened your fan to conceal your face. “Let’s hurry before the wind picks up…”

Together, Kankuro and Chuuyou led you to the gates. Like a mythical palace, they creaked open, loud and ancient. Guards nodded to Kankuro as the three of you passed, followed by the one-hundred thirty. The gates roared closed. The wind ceased howling. 

“I hate this part,” Kankuro said beside you. “It’s a five-minute walk once you get past the gate.”

“We were in a coach for a whole day,” You said, closing your fan to tape on your shoulder, looking up at him. “I thought you’d be relieved, like me.”

“So I’m lazy — sue me.”

You chuckled. You liked Kankuro. Throughout the trip, he had begun to remind you a bit of your older brother, Hideo. 

Light from the interior of the village spilled through, illuminating the walkway. Two more people waited.

A blonde woman strode to Kankuro. “Finally,” she said. She smiled and bowed to you. “Hello, Lady (Y/n). We’re so pleased to welcome you to our village.”

“Just (Y/n), please!”

She raised from her bow, surprised. 

“She insisted, Temari,” Kankuro said. “Leave the formalities to the old geezers.”

“Kankuro!” the man beside Temari chastised.

Kankuro only snickered as Temari regained composure. “Well, if you’re comfortable. My name is Temari.”

“The Kazekage sister!” 

“Yes.” She seemed charmed by your naivety. She motioned to the man behind her. “And this is Baki.”

The man beside her bowed, half of his face hidden by a sheet. “A pleasure.”

“Hello …”

Temari’s eyes roved over what sat cradled in your arms. “And you brought something!”

You offered it to her. “A gift for the Lord Kazekage.”

It was a cactus of rich chartreuse, secured in a simple pot. Its spiked leaves raised skyward, growing eagerly from its soil. 

“Oh, he’ll love it.” She took it from you. “My brother loves cacti. How did you know?”

“I’ve heard rumors.”

“It’s so thoughtful of you!” Temari said, voice high and adorable. She motioned for you to follow. “Let’s get you to the council. The sooner they meet you, the sooner we can show you to your quarters for some well-deserved rest, hm? Besides, they’ve been dying to meet you.”

“One of them, especially,” Kankuro added.

Sunagakure opened up to you. It depressed into its cavern, with buildings standing tall and stable with stucco. Domed buildings were adorned with tiny, spherical windows. You still preferred your village, with its swirling sandstone and elegant sandcastles, but Suna proved impressive in its own right. 

“I’m just happy to see another female after so long,” You said as you followed.

This made Temari chuckle. “Sorry. I would’ve gone myself to collect, but …”

“She never leaves my brother’s side if she can help it,” Kankuro said. “I can’t believe she’s getting married —“

Temari shot him a glare, and he reeled back.

“Don’t fight,” Baki ordered from behind you. “Do I need to remind you two that we have a guest?”

“You’re getting married?” You asked. “How nice! So I’m not alone!”

Clever, girl. Father praised in your mind.

Temari blushed. “Yes, well — ahem — this isn’t about me …”

She ushered all of you into a building and led you to its underground, where a room opened up. You stood amazed as statues of previous Kazekages rose high into the ceiling. A round table sat at the center of the room and sat around it were robed elders. The council. 

“Oh!” one of them, the only woman, squealed. “She’s arrived! Address her, my lord!”

A man turned to see you.

Gaara.

You had never seen him in person. Immediately, his ringed eyes, turquoise eyes, captivated yours. A strange kanji tattooed his forehead. Otherworldly, save for the red hair common of those in the desert. He’s … cute.

He’s  killed people? He’s not even that tall …

Nervous, you bowed. “My lord.” You rose in time to see him return the favor. 

“She’s brought a gift for you, Lord Kazekage!” the woman elder exclaimed.

Temari smiled and gave it to him. 

Gaara — Gaara blushed.

You recovered from your surprise. “I know you must already have so many, but …”

“No,” he said. He petted the side of the pot, seeming genuinely touched. “It’s all right … Thank you.”

You nodded and heard Father’s voice. Yes, all according to plan …

“You are very beautiful,” he said. 

You fiddled with your fingers. The council members murmured, hearts in their eyes. So distracted were you by Gaara and your own thoughts that you didn’t see the female elder come between the two of you.

“Oh, Lady (Y/n),” she said breathlessly. “I am Ikanago.” She took your hand. “Come, come, sit with us.”

“Lady —“

“Lady Temari, please excuse yourselves from the room,” Ikanago hastened. “We must consult with Lady (Y/n) and Lord Kazekage.”

Temari, Baki, and Kankuro looked to Gaara for help. 

“It will only be a moment,” Gaara assured them with a smile. “Afterward, you can show Lady (Y/n) to her quarters.” 

They bowed to him. 

“Very well,” Temari said. “Come on …”

They filed out, leaving only Chuuyou at the entryway, refusing to leave you.

This didn’t seem to bother Ikanago. “Come, come, take my seat!” she said, ushering you into it.

There were several members, only one who looked to be younger than fifty; you remembered Kankuro’s comments of old geezers.

“I am Ebizo.”

“I am Goza.”

More introduced themselves, becoming a mad soup of names you were not sure you would remember later — Ryusa, Sajo, Tojuro — though one of them did not introduce himself, engrossing in papers in front of him and refusing to look up. 

“Joseki!” Ikanago was scandalized. “Don’t be rude!”

“Merely overseeing the council,” he replied coolly.

“Lady (Y/n) will surely not mind one of us being silent,” Ebizo joked. “I am sure this is overwhelming for the young lady.”

“Oh no,” You assured. “Not at all …”

Gaara came to sit beside you and Ikanago squealed.

“Already acting like a couple, I see!” she said. “We’re all so honored to have you here. There’s much to discuss …”

-

“This is insane!” Temari paced the outer hall of the council room. “What are those fossils thinking, marrying Gaara off like this?”

“Let’s just try to be positive, Temari,” Kankuro encouraged, head following Temari to and fro. “(Y/n) seems nice enough. Maybe it’ll work out?”

“Kankuro’s right,” Baki said, leaning against the wall. “It is our responsibility to —“ 

“I don’t trust any of this.” Temari continued to stomp-pace. “Even if (Y/n) seems nice, our father warned me about Lord Boutoku; he’s crazy. And prideful. Great combination.”

Kankuro sighed. “Temari —“

“Not to mention his reputation for having a ferocious temper, and how quickly he puts dissenters to death,” Temari went on. “No matter how badly we’ve treated their village, it should’ve never come to this!”

“I agree, but the council assisted on this, Temari,” Baki pressed. “With your marriage to Shikamaru on the horizon and, ah,” Baki turned to Kankuro, “Kankuro … second in line, Lord Kazekage has to start thinking about the future. It’s time for him to consider a family. The line is in peril.”

“Our willingness to share resources with the Oasis village is a good idea,” Kankuro added. “I just hope they like each other. She even bought a cactus for him. That was sweet.”

“I’ll make sure that thing’s checked for any and all poisons we have recorded in the directory,” Temari snapped. “Or anything else.”

“Temari!”

Kankuro clicked his tongue. “That’s kinda harsh, don’t you think?” 

“Can’t be too careful.” Temari stopped at the window, arms crossed. “It’s not (Y/n) I don’t trust — it’s that tyrant of a father she has.” She sighed. “I’ll be staying in the sand for a few weeks; I just know something’s bound to go wrong. But at least Gaara probably won’t touch that cactus.”

-

Gaara caressed the cactus, avoiding the prickles while the council hounded you. 

“We’ll be forever grateful to Lord Boutoku for allowing us access to his oasis,” Ebizo said before hurrying to add, “After the two of you have married, of course.” 

“Have you ever seen it, Lady (Y/n)?” 

“Um” You said, “well, no, but —“

“Oh, surely she has!” 

“Lord Boutoku guards all his secrets. We will also have access to any hiden and secret techniques, correct?” 

“Um —“

“Surely we will!” Ikanago went on. “We’re blessed to have a lady of such renowned blood join our village!”

“This marriage will bear extraordinary fruit.”

“About that,” Gaara said, setting aside the cactus.

The room grew quiet as heads turned to him. 

“I am aware some women are given away against their will.” Gaara turned to you. “I would like to know if this arrangement is as consensual as I was told.” 

You blinked. You thought of your mother, given away to your lord father by your poverty-stricken grandparents. It was lucky for them that Father took a liking to her — and fell in love. But how many of those stories ended happily?

You were … flattered.

“Oh, Lord Kazekage, I’m sure —“

“I would like to have it confirmed by Lady (Y/n), Lady Ikanago,” Gaara cut her off.

The council waited for an answer.

“I … thank you, Lord Kazekage, for thinking of me,” You said. “But, yes. I am here because I want to be.”

And …

Gaara eyed you, and for a second you wondered if he using some sort of shinobi intuition to read the things you fought to conceal. He nodded seconds later, satisfied.

“That’s a lovely necklace, Lady (Y/n).” Ikanago was suddenly beside you, leaning forward to admire your pendant. “A gift from your lord father, I presume?” 

She came closer to inspect it. Your eyes widened, and you sat back and away from her. 

“I — I would appreciate a few moments alone with the Kazekage,” You said a little too loudly. “If you all wouldn’t mind?”

“That sounds reasonable,” Ebizo said. 

“Yes, of course!” Ikanago winked as though the two of you were in on a shared secret and followed the other elders out of the room. 

The door shut, and the two of you were alone.

All right, (Y/n), it’s time to woo him …

Surely, Father hadn’t expected you to try to poison him so soon. You would have to wait until later, when the two of you were alone — truly alone — perhaps after a day or a few. Intuition stilled your hand.  

Still, you could put on some charm.

You smiled gently. You reached for Gaara’s hand, inching toward his … 

His hand shied away.

“I …” He watched your hand slink away. “I apologize for their behavior. They are my elders and yet I feel as though sometimes they are much younger than me.” Gaara braved to look up at you. “I hope … you don’t think me cold.”

Taken aback, you shook your head. “No, not at all …”

“I would like to make it clear,” Gaara said, “after the party, I will have my ninja send all the promised resources to your village. Food, weapons, clothing … I would like to make up for how the Oasis has been treated.”

You sat, too stupefied for a timely answer. Your eyes flickered to the kanji on his forehead. This was the ruthless monster who had killed Hideo in cold blood? 

“That is … very kind of you, Lord Kazekage,” You murmured. 

“I am a man of my word.”

You raised your brows at him, words alluding you.

The doors creaked open.

“All right, Gaara,” Temari said, tone much less formal now the council had disbanded. “The two of you can get to know each other at the party. I’m sure (Y/n) would like to finally rest for today. Let me show her quarters.”

The two of you stood. 

“Very well,” Gaara said. He turned to you with a sort of finality. “There has been much bloodshed between our villages. All of it is unnecessary — as with most bloodshed.”

You pulled away a bit. Yes, all of it. You remembered Hideo in vivid detail. Maybe you were being misled? This was all an act.

“I agree,” you said coolly.

You could tell he knew you were offended somehow when he tilted his head. 

“I apologize,” he said. “I have —“

“I’ll … take my leave now, Lord Kazekage,” You said with a bow, ready to leave. 

Gaara composed himself enough for a slight smile. “Goodbye then. Until tonight.”

You nodded. “Yes.”

-

Temari, Kankuro, and Baki led you to a building adjacent to what could only be the Kazekage’s office. A modest palace in which you were happy to enter; the sandstorm had settled down, but it was much colder indoors. Baki bid the three of you farewell to care for other business, leaving you in the care of the siblings.

Temari led you to a single room and threw the doors open. 

“And this is your stay!”

You walked in. It was a large room with a canopy bed risen on a dais. You would have a window, and wide-leafed plants sat to and fro to liven up the space. There was a mat, a desk, a night stand … 

You turned to them, confused. “This isn’t a master bedroom.”

“No, it isn’t.” Temari followed your sentiment. “Is something wrong?” 

“Well, it’s just …” You faced the bed again. “I thought I would be sleeping with Lord Kazekage. Is this where he sleeps?”

Temari grew wide-eyed and stammering, her face red. Your comment had even gotten to Kankuro, whose cheeks tainted pink. 

“You — will be separate, of course,” Temari said. “Until after the wedding, that is.” 

You nodded to conceal your disappointment. So this would be trickier than you thought. The training your father had insisted you partake in included many things, none of them true espionage; your weak constitution meant you had never gotten an opportunity to train as a shinobi like your brother. Instead, one of your skills included how to kill a man in his sleep, in his private quarters and, if need be, during sex. Because of said “training” you weren’t a virgin, but you never considered yourself taken either. You thought it was … nice, in a way; your father had wanted you to know how to protect yourself, even if his methods had been a bit … questionable. But how would this work if you couldn’t get the Kazekage alone? You would have to sneak into his quarters, but that would only look more suspicious.

“I see,” You sighed. “Well … I certainly hope I can please the Kazekage when the time comes.” 

Temari looked ready to faint. Kankuro snickered into his knuckles. 

“I thank you for the room anyway,” You said, smiling. “I’m sure I’ll be comfortable here.”

Temari was recovering from her near heart attack, hand at her heart, to breathe out, “I’ll … send some servants to care for you, all right?” 

A tinge of sadness. You missed your maids from home who had mothered you so. They had hugged you and cried the day of your departure. You had teared up, too, not knowing when you would see them next. Or, if your mission failed, at all.

You couldn’t tell Temari and Kankuro that, of course. You could tell no one.

“Actually, if you don’t mind …” You said. “I’d like to rest a bit before this party tonight.”

“All right,”  Temari said. She held the door open for them to leave. “Don’t forget to shout if you need anything.”

You nodded in understanding. The door closed, and you sank into bed, turning over with a painful moan; how in the world were you meant to do this? 

The curtains became your friends; you spread them so they could hide you. You collapsed against the pillows, consumed with your thoughts and, eventually, fell into sleep.

-

Your ladies fastened you into your yukata for the evening before placing you in front of the mirror to admire yourself. 

“You look stunning, Lady (Y/n).”

The scarlet yukata was garnished with hints of beige and brown, thus your turquoise pendant served as a complimentary pop of color. It was fitting; you guessed. The colors were meaningful; you “belonged” to the Kazekage and his family.

You were nothing but a doll.

You thanked your servants and requested they leave you alone with the few minutes you had left to spare. You tinkered with your necklace — only to snatch your hand away, sure that wasn’t a good idea. What were you meant to do? Maybe after the party, everyone would be tired enough that you could make a move? Sneak something into his drink? No, it would be too soon. Who else would be blamed besides you?

A knock at the door. “Lady (Y/n). It’s time.”

The muffled voice was Baki’s. You went to the door, opened it to see him looking the same — flak jacket, sheet covering one eye … 

To your surprise, he smiled, and it brought his face to life. He offered you his hand. “You look beautiful.”

You hesitated in taking his hand. Baki lead you out into the dim hallway. Chuuyou, ever your shadow, and a few other oasis guards slipped farther into the darkness.

“Thank you.” You told Baki.

“You’re welcome,” he said. “I apologize for Kankuro and Temari; they’re siblings through and through, always bickering.”

“Oh, they don’t bother me!” 

“Still, I thought it would be best if I sent for you instead. They’re busy with Lord Kazekage.”

He led you out of the palace to a rowdier hall nearby the Kazekage’s office. The hall opened into the party — your breath caught in your chest. 

 It was a long, roofless courtyard. Lines strung with lanterns carried over the space and warded off a night patterned with stars. Nobles dined on tables lined with food and cupped their hands over ears to gossip. Jugglers and dancers amused the party-goers as music — rhythmic drums, frantic tambourines — blared. Despite the festive circumstances, there was something cold in the atmosphere — curt bows and distrustful stares — layering over the event like another coating of paint. 

Baki led you, your hand in his, through the courtyard. You blinked and an explosion of color flared behind your lids. 

“(Y/n)!”

You spun. Kankuro and Temari wove through the crowd. 

“Oh, you look great!” Temari’s voice was sickly sweet as she cupped her hands.

“Love the colors.” Kankuro took a swig from his glass as he admired your yukata. “Real subtle.”

“Our Lord Kazekage will be giving a speech at the end of the night,” Baki said.

“Oh, really?” You said.

“Yeah,” Kankuro said. “I think he’ll be able to give Lord Boutoku a run for his money in the oratory department.”

“But until then, it’ll just be all drinking and festivities.” Temari waved off it off while winking. “You know how it is.”

“Where is Gaara?” You said, looking around. You tensed when you realized your mistake. Lord Kazekage, your classless buffoon, Father reproached. But when no one corrected you, you relaxed.

“We’ll take you to him,” Kankuro said, and the four of you began to change direction.

You looked around; the Sand and Oasis ninja meshed together, acclimating to one another. You recognized council members throughout the crowd, mingling with nobles swilling wine.

“There she is!”

The girlish squeal made you look to your left to see a gaggle of girls storming toward you. They bombarded you with questions. You nearly stumbled over on your heel had Baki not caught you —

“She’s so pretty!” 

“When’s the wedding? Is it soon?”

“I wanted to marry the Kazekage! Me!” 

“Ladies!” Baki shouted over them, taking you by the shoulder. “One at a time!”

Ninja made beelines toward the scene, alarmed by the sudden swarm. The last thing you saw was the back of Baki’s head as he tried to control the young girls. You lost everyone. Disoriented, you sheltered behind a pillar. 

You breathed a sigh of relief — 

You sensed the presence of another. 

A brunette girl appeared from beyond the column, looking sobered. 

“Oh, hello!” You took note of her attire. “You’re a Sand ninja, aren’t you?” 

There was no emotion in her eyes to pair with her curt smile. “Hello, Lady (Y/n). I am Matsuri. I am — was … the Kazekage’s student.” She bowed. “Please to meet you.”

“Student?” You parroted. “It — it must’ve been an honor to study under the Kazekage himself …”

“Yes.” Her voice was hardly audible. “It … it was, I —“ Her words caught on something. “Excuse me, I must check on something.” 

“Oh, okay, I —“

Your sentence died as Matsuri hurried to rejoin the party’s fray. 

She dissolved into the crowd. Had you done something wrong? Something to offend? Stupid girl, Father barked.

You’ll be fine. Remember what father said about your nerves ruining things …

 You traipsed into the courtyard from another wing.

Scarlet hair caught your eye. Gaara. He sat in his Kazekage robes of white and turquoise at a long table foreseeing the festivities. 

You made your way toward him, only to run into someone new. 

“Ah, Lady (Y/n),” said the man. “We meet again.”

You recognized him. Joseki. 

You stiffened. “Hello, Elder Joseki.”

Joseki’s eyes narrowed. Disgust and something else — pity — marred his severe face.

“I hope you are enjoying yourself,” he said. “It’s a shame. A lady such as yourself being pawned to our Kazekage in this manner.”

You fought to neutralize your face. An elder, speaking ill of his village head? 

Joseki took advantage of your stunned silence to continue. “Let’s hope something of worth comes from this … arrangement.”

“I …” You began. “Elder, I don’t know what you mean.”

Joseki “hmphed” and turned away. “No, I suppose you wouldn’t. I —“

“(Y/n)!” It was Kankuro, followed by Baki. “There you are.”

Joseki paused as they joined the two of you. 

“Have we missed something, Elder Joseki?” Baki said coolly. “Surely, Lady (Y/n) doesn’t want to discuss politics on such a joyous occasion.”

“I was just leaving, actually,” Joseki said before turning to you. “I hope you enjoy your time in the Sand, Lady (Y/n).”

“Thank you …” Your voice was weak as Joseki departed. 

Why did he say it like that? Like this is just a little vacation for me. Like I’m not here to stay?

“Don’t worry about Joseki,” Kankuro said, leading you away. “He’s not the biggest fan of Gaara.”

“Why?”

Kankuro opened his mouth, only to close it.

“Ah, there he is,” Baki said. 

Gaara tilted his kage hat up as other nobles surrounded him, demanding his attention. 

“Gaara!” Kankuro called. “I brought your fiance!”

Baki glared at Kankuro as he seated you by Gaara. 

“Thank you, Kankuro,” he said before surveying the group. “Where’s Temari?”

“Oh.” Kankuro’s tone was nonchalant. “She just went to take care of some business that came up.” 

Gaara nodded. “All right.”

“Let’s leave these two alone so they can get to know each other,” Kankuro whispered to Baki. 

An anger vein sprouted on Baki’s head. “Oh, really? Not so you can get drunk?”

“That’s preposterous!”

Baki grumbled as Kankuro led him away from the table. You turned to Gaara. The hat shrouded his features, leaving his eyes in a deep shade. 

“I hope you like your yukata,” he said.

You hung your head to feign bashfulness. “Thank you, Lord Kazekage.”

 “Though, I wish you had been allowed to choose one you preferred,” he said. 

“It’s all right,” You said. “I am a guest in your village. It would only be appropriate for me to don the colors of Suna and forgo my own for a while.”

“All right,” Gaara’s smile was slight, “(Y/n).”

The sound of your name on his lips threw you. Though you had tried to tell everyone to drop formality — and had simply rolled your eyes at Baki ignoring you — something about hearing your name cradled in Gaara’s deep baritone made your stomach whirl. 

“Kankuro told me a bit about you,” Gaara went on. “About how your mother … I am sorry.”

You paused in the spotlight. You fought the images that followed; your mother’s lifeless body, her throat slit open. “Th — thank you, Lor —“

“Gaara.”

“Thank you, Gaara.”

Gaara’s eyes cast down to the table. His voice fogged with memory as he said, “I also lost my mother. But it was after my birth. I was never able to know her.” 

“I’m sorry.” You reached for his hand, only to retreat, remembering last time. 

His eyes trailed up your hand. “I was … sad and confused for a long time. I was very different when I was a child. I didn’t know if I was truly loved by her — or by anyone.”

“That’s insane.” The sharpness in your tone surprised you, as did the passion. “All mothers love their children!”

Gaara paused, charmed. He nodded in agreement with you. “I now know I was always loved.” His smile was faint. “Your mother would be proud of you; you were brave to come here. Perhaps … perhaps it's time for me to be brave.”

He reached forward to take your hand. He gave it an imperceptible squeeze as his hand blanketed your own. A second or two and Gaara moved away, pink coloring his cheeks. 

You stared, speechless. This … was the monster Father sent you to kill? You had brushed it off as an act before; men had a way of transforming when they got a woman alone. But no one was around now besides party-goers too involved with themselves to care. 

Was he genuine? Could he really be this … sweet?

Kankuro returned to the table, giggling. 

“I can’t believe the lack of discipline you’re showing,” Temari stood cross-armed over him. “What if something bad happened just now and Gaara needed your help?”

“Gaara,” Kankuro hiccuped, “is doing just fine!” 

He raised his glass, and a servant took the hint, refilling Kankuro’s glass.

“Would anyone else care for refreshments?” the servant asked.

“Not him.” Temari smacked Kankuro over the head with her fan. “Thank you.”

“I would like some.” You raised your glass.

“I second that,” Gaara said. “I feel parched for some strange reason.”

The servant filled your cups and took his leave. You placed the rim of the glass to your lips, flicking your tongue out like a cat to test it, before taking a full sip. It was like no wine you had ever had before. You turned to Gaara who was taking several swigs. 

Wine, onigiri, slices of meat and soups came to the table and you all ate. You had no idea how hungry you were until you touched the soup to your lips, hardly waiting for it to become warm before you dove in as politely as you could. You watched Gaara finish his second glass of wine as Temari traded Kankuro’s liquor for water, throwing the red substance behind her back when he wasn’t looking. 

“Ah,” Gaara said. “You’ve gotten a bit of rice on your face.”

“Oh?” You said. “Oh, I’m —“

But Gaara had already risen a napkin to your chin, offering it awkwardly before taking it upon himself to wipe the grain away. Your eyes widened at the gesture. You could feel his finger through the cloth, brushing the piece away.

A squeal. “You can just hear the wedding bells!” 

Ikanago was approaching the table, flanked by two Sand shinobi. Gaara quickly drew away from you.

“Keep acting like that and you’ll never make it until after the wedding!” Ikanago winked and stumbled away, humming with her wineglass.

“See, Tem — hiccup — mari!” Kankuro said, cheeks tomato red now. “I’m not — hiccup — the only — hiccup — one — hiccup — drinking!”

Temari’s eyebrow twitched. “And that’s a good thing?”

“Temari,” Gaara said. “I think you should enjoy yourself as much as Kankuro. Why don’t you have a drink?”

Temari hesitated, fiddling with a napkin. “Um, well, Gaara, I …”

Gasps from the crowd. Party-goers split down the middle as dancers took to the center, cartwheeling, back-flipping, twirling batons. Already, the enthralled crowd clapped, whooping their approval. 

Temari smiled. “I guess this is where the real show starts.”

“A wedding gift from Naruto, I believe,” Gaara elaborated. 

Your neck nearly broke as you turned to Gaara. Naruto? The Hokage?

They’re close, remember?

One of the dancers stood right side up. He blew into the night air and flames burst from his mouth to light a torch. The crowd wooed nervously. 

“Don’t worry!” the dance said as his fellows gyrated around him. “I’m great with fire!” 

He resumed his dance. One of his dancers threw him another torch, which he lit and began to twirl and juggle. Another had a fan she used to whip and literally fan the flames.

“Whaaat? That’s way smaller than Temari’s.” Kankuro turned to you. “Temari’s got a huge fan that’s almost as big as her!” 

Your eyebrows raised.“Really?”

Temari dismissed the flattery. “It’s not that impressive.”

“She can glide on it!” 

You were amazed. “You have a giant fan you ride on?”

“It’s giant like her!”

Temari clocked Kankuro on the head as Gaara nodded to you. “It’s a part of her skill set as a shinobi.”

You pouted. “I envy you all; I wish I could’ve been a shinobi, but my father always said I was too weak for it…”

It was a second before Gaara changed the subject. “Kankuro told me also that you have a brother?” 

You raised your head. “Yes. Hideo …”

“I hope to meet him one day,” he said. “He will be my brother-in-law, after all.”

You sobered. Hideo’s kind face and gentle laugh sounded in your head — a face that was gone and a laugh that was gone because he was gone.

You cleared your throat. “Had a brother.”

The three of them went silent.

Gaara’s expression sobered. “I’m sorry.”

You smiled weakly. “I —“

A yelp. The dancer’s hair had caught on fire. His dancers flocked to him, patting his head to put it out as the crowd bellowed with laughter. 

“Oh gods,” You said, feeling second handed embarrassment for him. “I hope he’s okay.”

“Yes …” Gaara said sourly. “I’ll have to tell Naruto about this.”

“Yeah.” Kankuro took a drink. “Let’s not.” 

The fires died. The dancers carried their leader away from the courtyard. The four of you continued to bond, Kankuro and Temari explained to you the best they could how their abilities worked, but you could tell they withheld details out of fear of confusing you. It turned out Gaara could actually control sand and that on normal days he carried a gourd of it on his back. All of it sounded so fascinating to you.

“It’s really quite hot, isn’t it?” You said as Gaara traded his wine for water.

He paused. “Are you bothered by it? We could go indoors where it’s cooler.”

“No,” You said, charmed by his concern. Typical desert, really.  You’d think I’d be used to it. “I’m fine.” 

“Lord Kazekage.” Baki came over, whispered in his ear. “It’s time.”

Gaara nodded, and with a reassuring look to you and his siblings, departed from the table. He and Baki carried on to a small podium. You watched as those in the courtyard grew quiet when he ascended the steps. 

The command he has over them all. It was immediate. Of course, he was the Kazekage, but something about the gentle way they seemed to respect him struck you. Nothing like your lord father and the fear he inspired in his subjects. 

“Sand shinobi,” Gaara began. “Oasis shinobi. We are siblings in this desert, bonded by a common blood and heritage, and yet we have done nothing but fight one another, with the sand admittedly the aggressor in nearly every conflict. For too long, we have been more than willing to go to war against those we should call family. It ends today. With my marriage to the village head of the Oasis village, Lord Boutoku’s daughter, Lady (Y/n), we put this violent past behind us and strive for a better future. No longer will we squabble over resources both villages need in order to prosper. Instead, we shall share them. One family under one table.”

The crowd broke out in polite applause. You listened, stunned. Where was the quiet boy who could barely hold your hand a few moments ago? His words felt … honest. Heartfelt. Regretful. Hopeful.

“Told you.” Kankuro leaned into your side. “No offense, but he could definitely put your lord father to shame.”

He could, You admitted to yourself. 

“And so,” Gaara went on. “After this …”

He paused. You imagined it was all for the sake of theatrics, a simple beat to reign in the attention of the audience —

He stumbled.

Gasps. Murmurs of alarm. The air grew tight. 

“Something’s wrong,” Temari said.

Gaara caught himself, holding to the microphone with heavy-lidded eyes. 

What? But what happened? You hadn’t —

Panic seized you. Your mind reeled back. The cactus. What was it the botanist had said?

“Oh yes, some strands are incredibly toxic upon touch, oh yes … Us who handle them must all be very careful with the specimens we interact with, yes …”

Oh no.

Gaara stumbled again, only to tip over and faint.

“Gaara!” Temari and Kankuro cried in unison. They abandoned the table and teleported, in flashes, to the stage. 

Baki was there, intercepting it all, along with several other Sand shinobi as the courtyard erupted in panic.

All the while, you stood there, absorbing the chaos, knowing it was only a matter of time before heads turned to you.

#gaara x reader #gaara x you #gaara x y/n #gaara smut #naruto x reader #naruto x y/n #naruto x you

[yasmijn]

Day 26-30

Aduh sekalian aja lah ya sampe day 30  😭😭😭😭 agak melenceng dari esensi challenge ini tapi yaudah at least I’m finishing it. 

Day 26 - Write a letter to yourself, reflecting on your spiritual growth during Ramadan

Again, ku gak suka writing a public letter (to my own self, on top of all that), jadi aku akan tulis refleksi general aja. 

Satu hal yang w syukuri dari proses adulting dan menua ini adalah rasa nyaman w untuk beragama. Sempet sih kepikiran, apakah waktu aku dapet kesempatan untuk kuliah di Eropa aku akan diverting away from Islam atau punya pertanyaan-pertanyaan kritis tentang agama? Tapi kayanya foundation agamaku udah cukup kuat haha... jadi nggak kayak binatang lepas kandang juga gitu untuk melakukan hal-hal yang dilarang. Pertanyaan kritis, iya tentu saja, apalagi karena w banyak diskusi juga sama orang-orang asing nonmuslim yang genuinely curious aja gitu tentang Islam. Tapi w bersyukur karena w selalu menemukan jawaban yang melegakan, menenangkan - jadi ya memang semakin yakin aja bahwa memang Islam adalah the true one religion. Not necessarily saat bulan Ramadan sih... spiritual growth is a lifelong journey.

Day 27 - Write a reflection on how Ramadan has impacted your relationship with Allah

I would like to say that I am closer to Him but I don’t think I have given Him my best in and out of Ramadan... I know that He knows everything so I just hope that He can give me more time in trying to become a better person. 

Day 28 - Discuss the importance of patience and perseverance during Ramadan

Ramadan tu lebih jadi kaya wahana training gitu ga sih. Bisa ga nih selama 30 hari konsisten menjadi manusia yang lebih sabar, lebih persevere, lebih taat, lebih menahan diri, lebih baik aja gitu. Sabar di Ramadan itu lebih keliatan hilal akhirnya. Laper mau makan? Sabar 2 jam lagi udah Magrib. Aduh capek taraweh terus tiap malem? Sabar, 2 minggu lagi Ramadan beres (hanya contoh). Aduh emosi banget? Sabar, nanti abis Lebaran bisa dilanjut emosinya (dan mudah-mudahan udah luntur jadi udah lupa kenapa waktu itu emosi). 

Day 29 - Write a story about a person who overcomes a personal challenge during Ramadan

Mau menukil kisahnya Rasulullah aja deh, nggak dalam kapasitas diri ini untuk menulis kisah-kisah teladan. Ada tiga peristiwa besar yang dialami oleh Nabi Muhammad saw: (1) Penerimaan wahyu pertama dari Allah swt melalui Malaikat Jibril, (2) Pasukan Rasulullah memenangkan Perang Badar, dan (3) Rasulullah melakukan pembebasan Kota Mekkah dari kafir Quraisy.

If Rasulullah saw could receive the first ever revelation, won a big war, and freed a city, then we could certainly hold back our hunger and thirst for 30 days. 

Day 30 - Write a reflection on the blessings of Ramadan and how they inspire gratitude

Nikmat berkumpul dengan keluarga, berkumpul dengan teman-teman, nikmat harta untuk bisa beli makanan yang ingin dibeli, nikmat makan dan minum setelah berlapar-lapar seharian, untuk bisa bersedekah dan berbagi, untuk bisa menjalankan puasa di negara mayoritas muslim lagi. Menurutku selalu ada hal yang bisa disyukuri, sekecil apapun itu, dan Ramadan itu memberikan kesempatan bagi kita untuk bisa lebih sadar akan nikmat-nikmat yang tak pernah luput diberikan-Nya.

#30daysramadanwritingchallenge

[ayurvedainitiative-blog]

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[depressedhatakekakashi]

☸️ spin that wheel again, I like reading these :D

When he first became Kazekage there was a lot of backlash. People understandably didn’t want a man known for being little more than a ruthless killer as their Kazekage.

Kakashi had made a promise, though. His duty was to protect Suna when his Sensei (Rasa) couldn’t, and even if he didn’t agree with everything Rasa did he did agree with one very important point. Suna needed to be protected.

His first act as Kazekage was to go to Konoha to arrange a treaty. One where Suna wasn’t harmed by their actions in following Rasa/orochimaru, and in which they could try to build a genuine friendship.

His second act as Kazekage was to promote Temari and Kankuro to chunnin while keeping Gaara back to continue training with Baki and work on himself. Gaara actually got to retake the chunin exam’s alongside all the Konoha 12 (except Sasuke, Naruto and Shikamaru obv) and promptly got promoted to chunin after showing that not omly was he stronger, but he’d grown as a shinobi too and no longer had a thirst for murder that had been instilled in him by his life. Gaara actually saved a lot of people in the exam during the sand storm, and even worked with Team Gai after they helped rescue him from the guy who was trying to extract Isobu from him.

When he officially promoted Gaara, Kakashi presented him with his new chunin Uniform and immediately inform him that he and Baki were taking Gaara and his siblings out to celebrate not just his promotion, but the growth he’d shown since Suna attacked Konoha

[batarayama]

Beberapa waktu belakangan ini, gue mencoba memberanikan diri untuk nge-post foto badan di akun Twitter gue. Terakhir, gue memberanikan diri untuk post foto topless.

Kenapa gue dari tadi nyebut "memberanikan diri"? Ya karena emang ga pernah berani. Selain ga mau ketauan siapa di balik akun alter @batarayama, alasan lainnya karena gue tidak pernah merasa badan gue bagus atau menarik.

Kemudian setelah beberapa waktu dan memperhatikan akun-akun lain yg posting thirst trap juga, gue mikir "Yelah, yang jelas-jelas badannya biasa aja, mereka pede-pede aja tuh posting foto topless-nya. Kenapa lo malah ga pede sih, Bat?"

Yes, gue akui kalo gue juga penasaran pengen tau gimana sih rasanya di-acknowledged secara fisik alih-alih cuman di-acknowledged dari sisi buah pemikiran twit-twit random gue.

Ada beberapa kesimpulan yang gue tarik setelah posting beberapa foto thirst-trap itu:

It is true, physical privilege is something. Punya badan bagus emang lebih menarik perhatian. Tapi, definisi "badan bagus" untuk masing-masing orang tuh beda-beda. Ada yg doyan sama twink, ada yg doyan sama gempal, ada yg doyan sama muscle basah, ada yg doyan muscle kering, ada yg doyan sama yang gempal agar-agar. Ini bener-bener balik ke preferensi masing-masing orang.

Yang lebih concerning tentang physical appearance ini, menurut gue justru bukan dateng dari faktor external. Tapi, justru internal. Terutama ini untuk orang2 yang by appearance punya fisik yang relatif masuk dalam spektrum ideal. Kebanyakan dari orang2 ini (termasuk gue) merasa bahwa selalu ada yang kurang dari penampilan fisiknya. Entah kurang besar, kurang kering, kurang berotot, kurang six-pack, dll. Bisa aja hal itu adalah semacam drive buat seseorang jadi lebih baik lagi. Tapi, batasannya blur banget; apakah seseorang simply ga pernah bisa puas, merendah untuk meroket, atau ya emang udah template-nya ga pede aja. Karena kalo tujuannya mencari validasi dari semua pihak, gue rasa sih itu sangat ga mungkin. Karena ya balik lagi, setiap individu punya preferensi sendiri-sendiri. Biarpun seseorang pernah jadi juara buat "best body" pun, faktanya you can't have everybody's approval or validation.

Terkait dengan validasi, buat gue pribadi, setelah melihat jumlah engagement yg didapet lewat post thirst-trap gue, ternyata ga segitunya juga; ga segitu bikin gue happy juga. Malah cenderung biasa aja sebenernya. Tapi, ya ini dalam kasus gue pribadi. Buat orang lain, dapetin sekian banyak engagement bisa jadi "obat" buat perasaan insecurities yg dia miliki.

Faktanya adalah tidak sedikit orang yg post thirst-trap di social media punya keinginan buat dapetin reassurance soal insecurities yg mereka miliki. Faktanya lagi adalah that excessive reassurance-seeking ga secara efektif menyelesaikan isu2 personal yg mereka miliki. Itu cuman akan jadi "obat" sementara. Dan saat "obat" itu habis, they'll crave for more; hence social media addiction dan star syndrome. Apalagi kalo orang2 seperti ini semata cuman bener2 ngandalin penampilan fisik mereka untuk dapetin perhatian tanpa memiliki bakat/kemampuan lain (kecuali kalo me-retweet dan mengkurasi twit bokep termasuk dalem kategori bakat ya).

Jadi sampe sejauh mana pencarian validasi ini bisa dibilang problematik? Saat postingan thirst-trap atau sejenis itu jadi terlalu sering dan seseorang jadi terlalu bergantung untuk dapetin itu sampe menghalalkan segala cara.

Sebagai kesimpulan, gue cuman bisa bilang beberapa hal: physical appearance fades with time. Lo ga akan mungkin me-maintain penampilan fisik lo setiap saat. Pasti ada kalanya, penampilan lo akan declining. Coba deh cari hal lain dari lo yang bisa lo banggain selain penampilan fisik.

Perhatian yg lo dapet dr followers2 lo itu bersifat sementara kok. Gue personally lebih secure saat temen2 terdekat gue, orang yg gue sayang bilang, kalo "I'm good enough.". Karena mereka yg paling tau gue. Their opinions matters most for me than any random strangers opinions.

Buat kalian yg ga beruntung secara fisik, ga usah kecil hati. Ga semua yg berpenampilan luhur itu punya "personality" or "brain". Ga semua orang tertarik sama sekadar penampilan belaka. There's nothing more sexier than a smart brain, confidence, and personality, or the most important things, humility.

Kalo personality kalian juga jelek...ya good luck to you lah. :)

[katabersemi]

The Black Skirts – 피와 갈증 (King of Hurts) (Blood and thirst (king of hurts))

ID Translation

ㅡ THIRSTY, Track No. 12

내 불을 켜줘 마마

nyalakan lampuku, mama

꺼진 적 없지만

meski ia sebenarnya tak pernah mati

날 미워하지 말아

tolong jangan benci diriku

난 어린애잖아

aku hanyalah anak kecil

그대의 손길만 닿아도

bahkan sentuhanmu saja

난 붉어지잖아

membuatku tersipu merah

입술을 덮었던 황금이 벗겨질 때면 

saat emas pada bibirmu akhirnya terkelupas

말해줘요

bicaralah padaku

내 불을 켜줘 마마

nyalakan lampuku, Mama

어둡진 않지만

meskipun tidak gelap

날 미워하지 말아

tolong jangan benci diriku

난 어린애잖아

aku hanyalah anak kecil

늦은 밤 틑어진

bahkan jika aku mengumpulkan

꽃잎을 주워와도 난

kelopak bunga pada larut malam

그대가 남겨둔 온기에

aku akan kembali luruh

또 무너지겠지

dalam kehangatan yang ditinggalkan olehmu

아 아 아 내 마음

ah, hatiku

줄은 처음부터 없었네

tali yang kukira akan menggapaiku di ujung

나를 기다릴 줄 알았던

ternyata tidak pernah ada dari awal*

사람은 너 하나였는데

kaulah satu-satunya untukku

이제 난 혼자 남았네

namun sekarang hanya tinggal diriku sendiri

술이 가득한 ��으로 날

dengan mata yang sarat alkohol

미워한다 말 했었지

kau berkata bahwa kau membenciku

슬프도록 차가운 니 모습만

hanya sosokmu yang dingin dan pilu

내 기억에 남기고

yang tersisa dalam kenanganku

니가 없으면

tanpa dirimu

난 작은 공기도 못 움직여요

aku bahkan tidak mampu menggerakkan sejumput udara

한줌의 빛도 난 못가져가요

aku tidak bisa meraih setitik pun cahaya

난 애가 아닌데

padahal aku bukanlah anak kecil

니가 잠들면

saat kau tertidur

어둠이 이불 끝에 올라가요

kegelapan menyebar hingga ke ujung selimut

저린 내 팔베개를 가져가요

aku menarik kembali lenganku yang telah mati rasa**

이건 내가 아니에요

ini bukan diriku

* there could be two possibilities of interpretation here. the one that was waiting for the person might be the lover or the line/rope he spoke of just before. i went with the latter as it sounds more coherent

** 팔베개 is the arm used as a pillow for the person sleeping next to you. it's a couple thing

(translations are not literal per se but suited according to my personal interpretation of the song. may contain inaccuracies, feel free to correct!)

#검정치마 #the black skirts #korean rock #korean indie #k indie #translation #인디밴드

[fallingsunflower]

From what I’ve seen this particular part of the fandom that love to call Harry a whore have substituted Xander with brad because it’s very obvious that Xander is in a happy relationship with a woman for around 3 years now and saw him making out with her in Harry’s shows so they can’t really project on him anymore so they just moved to brad because he’s tabula rasa so far and they need to find a way to sexualize Harry. They’re no better than the hets that thirst after his dick and bring inappropriate signs to his shows. Both groups obsess over his sexuality and who he sleeps with. I’m sure they’ll move on to the next man when they figure out nothings going on between them just like with Xander but funny how it never happened with Tom or Tommy even though both of them are openly gay. Almost as if this is the same case when people connect Harry to models he sees once but not women that are ‘normal’ looking even when Harry gets spotted with then more. Funny that

I just think people can't stand the idea of him being single or being with a companion. I don't really get it

[simpingforgaara]

Sir, need me to tie your shoelaces? 😏

"But I wear sandals-"

"....."

"....."

"Oh..."

"oOohh!!!"

"....Shoelaces"

#rasa #rasa thirst #ricflairdrip20

[ricflairdrip20]

🤷🏻‍♀️

#rasa #kazekage rasa #rasa thirst

[helilart]

OOH MISS BROOKS

#mass effect #maya brooks #rasa #excuse me while i Thirst #cant wait to see this beautiful remastered demon #helilart

[smutteedreams]

Hi! I'm K. Welcome to my blog- we thirst shamelessly over 2d men here so grab your popcorn and have a seat bestie.

About me: I'm 19, my pronouns are she/her, sagitarrius (birthday- 28 November), animal lover, I'm from India

Hobbies- singing, dancing, reading, photography, painting, makeup

The character I write most about- Madara Uchiha

REQUESTS ARE- OPEN

What I write- sfw and nsfw fics, kinks i write- daddy kink, impact play, bondage, choking, edging, overstimulation, dominance

What I DON'T write (subject to change)- incest, underage sex, spit kink, gagging, foot fetish, pregnancy sex/lactation, blood play, dubcon, noncon, yandere themes

All characters in my fics are 18+

Characters I'm don't write for (subject to change)- Kankuro, Orochimaru, Kiba, Shino, Baki, Rasa, Kabuto, Zabuza, Kisame, Kakuzu, Zetsu, Choji, Gai, Deidara, Ebisu, Iruka

MASTERLIST

SISTERS/MISTERS IN SIN (taglist)

[saudade-mayari]

SAY LESS 😤

Okay so imagine Rasa stressed af about his Kazekage duties and the elders bugging him about the Suna economy and then you happen to walk in his office wearing practically nothing, leaving the guards drooling over your magnificent body. He grabs you and bend you over and fucked his stress away, and you barely able to walk from the overstimulation. Then he does it again when he got home, fucking for hours on end.

Gurl. He’s the kind to fuck you senseless and until you are mindlessly screaming his name.

THAT WAY EVERYONE WOULD KNOW WHO YOU BELONG TOO.

—and when he’s done overstimulating u at the office you’ll hear a faint whisper:

“We’re far from done, dear. I’m going to fuck you hard like a little whore your greedy cunt deserves.”

it’s dilf thirst hours

#💋—luna.thirst

[actuallysaiyan]

mannneeee i havent seen that episode when rasa told the truth to gaara during the war in a while and i see rasa and ….. damn daddy 🥵

👀👀 it has been a while since I've thirsted for Rasa! I find him to be such an asshole but dear god, you know I'd fuck him. He's just so gorgeous. Those sand shinobi...you've made me see how good they are. How they are such a different breed. I mean, I knew that Gaara and Sasori were pretty...but these other sand man, they are insanely gorgeous.

#smutty answers #bacon.thirsts #sand shinobi #they are a different breed #not me working on day one of Kinktober so please send in thirsts to keep me motivated plz

[thespookymoth]

Chapters: 20/20 Fandom: Naruto Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Inuzuka Kiba/Kankurou Characters: Kankurou (Naruto), Temari (Naruto), Gaara (Naruto), Inuzuka Kiba, Akamaru (Naruto), Rasa (Naruto) Additional Tags: Slow Burn, Pining, Implied Gaara/Lee, Harm to Animals, Rasa was a Bad Parent, sand siblings - Freeform, Water Politics in a Desert Society, Arranged Marriage, Injury, Fever, idiots to lovers, Spicy in last chapter, Bald Kankuro Rights Series: Part 1 of Thirst Summary:

Kankuro realises that times of peace can come with its own series of personal conflicts.

Enter one arranged marriage, one ninken smuggling ring, one unnervingly annoying Leaf ninja and an endless amount of dreaded political discourse.

He is about to find out that life is infinitely more complicated in the face of duty. --

Before I go to bed I highly recommend reading this KankuKiba fic. I’ve read the whole thing today and I am so in love. 💗

Written by the awesome @kranquro  If you want a good slow burn and Suna politics with Kankuro and Kiba being idiots in love, this is your jam. 

#fanfiction #naruto #kranquro #kiba x kankuro #kibakanku #kankukiba #kiba inuzuka #kankuro

[ghoste-catte]

okay so I've been a big fan of your work for like almsot three years now and you kinda inspired me to want to start my own gaara fanfic. I am absolutley in love with your characterisation of him (especially in sleep talk with me) and wondered if you maybe could give me some tips? because my story would also take place in the sweet inbetween after the chunin exams and before he becomes kazekage. (and to write him in this time frame is so so hard. damn you barely excitent canon content.)

OMG anon?? That’s such a nice thing to say!! I’m so thrilled that you’re inspired to write your own stuff! I hope you’ll drop me a link to it when it’s finished!! I’m sure it’ll be amazing!! I love that time period for Gaara. 

To be honest, I don’t feel like I’m super qualified to give writing “advice” (I say, preparing to give advice), because I’m really just an amateur doing this for fun. But that being said, there’s a couple things that I think are fun or interesting or compelling to explore with Gaara during that timeskip period between OG Naruto and Shippuden ... (Caveat here that these are just my opinions and there’s no one right way to explore this character, and that there’s plenty of interpretations that are worthwhile and fantastic and honestly better than mine!) 

So, the first and biggest thing I had to keep drilling into my own head as I was writing Sleeptalk was how staggeringly YOUNG all the characters are pre-Shippuden. Gaara is, like, twelve or thirteen at the chuunin exams and he becomes Kazekage around age fifteen. I don’t know if you remember being fifteen, but I was barely qualified to work my little part-time job at that age! Hell, I’m shocked they let me drive a car (with a learner’s permit, but still). So picturing someone making the decisions he did at that age, even in the context of the militaristic, child-soldier-normalizing context of Naruto is ... a lot. 

The biggest thing I think with Gaara--as an adult or as a teenager--is keeping in mind how strongly his trauma shaped him. What Gaara goes through between the end of the chuunin exams and his first appearance in Shippuden is basically an (unrealistically) accelerated trauma recovery. From age 6 to age 12, he basically has no personal connections, no affection, no mentorship or anything other than what appears to be basic “wrangling”. The Naruto wiki says that his dad is the one who trained him in ninjutsu, but it’s hard to picture him being particularly tractable after Yashamaru’s death, so I imagine those trainings were short-lived and probably fairly brutal. After all, it’s said Rasa’s magnet release was the only thing that could control Gaara if he let Shukaku take over. If anything, Rasa’s training methods are probably a lot closer to the Hyuugas’ than to, say, the Akimichi. So I think in addition to the onscreen traumas (the early loss of his mother, his overall rejection by Suna, the forcible termination of his relationship with his siblings, the assassination attempts, and of course Yashamaru’s betrayal), we probably also are looking at someone who was abused in addition to being neglected. Healing from trauma is a lot of work, and it has missteps and backslides in addition to forward progress, so there’s a lot of potential for development of his character there. Thinking about what his healing journey was like, what his setbacks might have been, and how he handled those. And what his major milestones were, too. What were his big signs of progress? His red letter days?

There’s actually a lot we don’t know about Gaara’s childhood between when Yashamaru died and the Konoha Crush, and there’s a lot of room to play in that space and explore possibilities. For example, who took care of his basic caregiving needs? Who made sure he had clothes and food? What did he eat? What were the major events of those six years? Did he ever try to reach out to Temari or Kankuro? To his dad? To Baki? What was the context of the additional assassination attempts? Did he play, and if so, what sort of games might he have played? We know, for example, that he has some artistic talent with the sand--was that something he ever explored? What did he do at night, since he couldn’t sleep? How was he kept awake, and by what or whom? There’s a lot of potential to explore additional, non-canon events that might have been formative. And how did any of that change after the chuunin exams, when he decided he wanted to be seen as more than a weapon? What sorts of things did he have to learn?

We know a very bare minimum about the Suna Council and the politics and culture of Suna, too, and I think there’s a lot of potential interest there. How would the Council have approached Gaara’s announcement of his intention to become Kage, when there were two older (and more emotionally stable) candidates from the same lineage? We know from the light novels that there is still backstabbing and subterfuge and that Gaara’s appointment is controversial even when he’s an adult, so I think there’s a lot of opportunity for political intrigue in the years between part 1 and Shippuden, if that’s your thing. 

One of the biggest and most important things that I think was sorely neglected by canon was Gaara’s relationship with his siblings. There’s so much growth that needed to happen there, and Temari and Kankuro were probably still pretty scared of him at first! There’s so much potential for them to grow together as people and to form a new family unit, and exploring how they went from being wary of him (and potentially needing to be prepared to kill him if he got out of control) to a loving sibling relationship! There are a lot of firsts that could be explored there--when did he first acknowledge Kankuro as his older brother, for example? Who was the first to try to give him a hug, and did he (or the sand) allow it?

Finally, I do really want to emphasize the mental health component of Gaara’s journey. Canon leans really heavily on the fact that he has a literal demon sealed inside him and that he’s protected by his mother’s spirit through magic sand, but a lot of his reactions and ways of handling things are really just that of a traumatized child, with or without the additional magic component. If you took a kid Gaara’s age and put them through traumatic events on the scale of what he went through--with or without magical ninja skills--you would likely see similar reactions. The only difference is that Gaara has access to fundamentally unlimited power. (And I think learning that, too--that he can’t just kill or hurt people to get what he wants--would be a huge part of his development and learning process.) So I personally don’t really care for interpretations of his development that lean too heavily on the ‘literal demon voices in his head’ and ‘actual conversing with ghosts/spirits’ interpretations, though they’re perfectly valid ones given what canon portrays. I much prefer an interpretation where a lot of Gaara’s symptoms--and they are symptoms!--are actually things that are going on with him emotionally and internally rather than being literal magic events that are happening. For example, I like to think his discomfort with the full moon has a lot more to do with negative emotions associated with the memory of Yashamaru’s betrayal than a literal issue with Shukaku thirsting for blood.  

Anyway, I’ve rambled on forever, but if you have other questions please feel free to pop back up! And I hope you’ll link me to your story when it’s done--I’d love to read it!!

#answered #anonymous

[garbagewhump]

No Coffin Can Contain My Love for this trope

AKA I am a huge sucker for resurrection and immortality. Like, all the fun of grieving and mourning and I get to bring them back for more misery? Please. Pretty please with a bloody bow on top. 

I would check my posts and see if I’ve already done one like this, but I am far too lazy to bother and too self-indulgent to stop myself from going on another tangent.

So just gonna ramble a bit. Warning for gore, death, medical torture and starvation.

Whumpee is dead. D-E-A-D. Pushing up daisies. Then they get resurrected by a well-meaning loved one. As happy as their lover is to have them back, Whumpee saw things while dead. Things that terrify them and leave them breathless, sweaty and screaming at night. 

Alternatively Whumpee experienced the afterlife and it was glorious and now they’ve been taken away from it. Maybe they can never go back now, to add insult to injury. They begin to resent their lover. They are desperate to return to the afterlife, through whatever means necessary. 

Whumpee has been revived. Trouble is, their soul is back in their same body. Their damaged, broken, possibly in pieces, body. This pleases nobody.

Whumpee is tortured to death and revived for more torture. *chef’s kiss* It’s so simple yet effective and it never fails to make me deliriously happy to read or watch. 

Looking at you @redwingedwhump. 

The Whumpee is immortal and cannot stay dead. Notice the phrasing here. They can die, repeatedly, they’ll just keep coming back, regenerating and healing as required. Obviously this makes them the perfect whumpee. Want to force them to breathe around the literal metal pole through their chest? Go for it. Want them to be vivisected? Go for it. 

Related to the above, when the possibility of their death becomes a cheap idea in anyone’s head. 

The whumpee themselves considers their life expendable? Great, now you got the ultimate self-sacrificing whumpee that will go through hell and come back ready for more.

The whumper? During conditioning, they use fatal methods of enforcing their rules.The sky’s the limit when you can break your toy into a million pieces and still be able to play with it at the end of it all.

The whumpee’s friends, family, team? “So you died again, big deal.” It becomes an inconvenience at most for them. The sky’s blue, water is wet, and whumpee might die a few times a day depending on the day. Also, no sympathy points. The first couple deaths you get the comfort, the rest? Get over it. It’s old news at this point.

The leader always sending whumpee for the dangerous missions. Whumpee is happy that their friends aren’t in danger-- but it hits even better if the team is just using them and feigning companionship.

I actually really adore this one because I am a simple man with simple tastes but: the villain/antagonist whumpee is slated for execution for their crimes.

Only they managed to make themselves immortal before capture. And you can’t kill the unkillable. 

So first, the Good Guys try all sorts of methods of killing them, just to be thorough. 

Firing squad, hanging, lethal injection, ritual sacrifice. They have to get creative, just to be thorough. And maybe do a few of them in public, just so the people can watch and be satisfied that justice is being served.  

But eventually it’s little more than a waste of time and effort to kill them actively. That’s better spent on more important things. 

Let them rot, the good guys say. And so Whumpee is thrown into a dark, dank cell deep underground. 

For a while, they are given food and drink. It’s hard bread and dirty water, but it’s almost enough. Then it stops coming. 

They can’t die. They can’t die but oh they can thirst and they can waste away. 

And they can be forgotten. 

The Whumpee died and was brought back to life Wrong. 

Maybe they didn’t come back at all, it’s someone else in their skin. 

Maybe they came back 100 years too late.

Maybe they came back without their memories, or the wrong memories, and maybe they come back in the company of someone who manipulates this tabula rasa in their mind.

Maybe they came back and brought back a hitchhiker or two and have to share now.

Maybe they came back and have an irresistible hunger for something horrific. Maybe they’re disgusted and tormented by these new desires.... and maybe they aren’t.

#immortal whumpee #immortality #vivisection #torture #tw death #tw starvation #tw medical whump #tw cannibalism #implied i suppose #tw emotional manipulation