#raz usually has pretty good emotional intelligence but his family is a big blind spot for him

[2hoothoots]

So what exactly is Dion’s deal did he never apologise to raz after raz ran for camp or the whole joining the psychonauts thing I think it’s a bit silly to still hold a grudge for so long especially from what your ten year old brother did when you were a teen or is it a  series of misunderstandings mix with miscommunications that piled up over time????

(for reference, this post introduces where Dion is in FSAU and his relationship with Raz!)

the answer to that is kind of a big ol' "it's complicated". but a large part of it is just that, yeah, they kind of never really resolved that tension of Dion being angry at Raz for running away? i was gonna write an essay but actually i think a ficlet is a more interesting way to get the same ideas across, so:

"Y'know, you still never apologised."

Dion's hands stilled over the knot on the tent rope. He met Frazie's eyes, and Frazie grimaced. She shook her head.

Don't, her mind urged, nudging against the dull embers of his own. I know you've been needling each other all day, but can we please just once have a get-together without you two blowing up at each other?

Dion either didn't notice her suggestion, or flat-out ignored it. He fastened the knot, and then rose to look over his shoulder at Raz.

"Apologised for what, exactly?"

Raz was stood over by the tub, washing dishes with his back turned to the two of them. His body language was casual as he shrugged, but Frazie didn't miss the shivers of tension that rippled off his aura.

"Oh, you know," he said lightly, "for how you treated me when I came back from Whispering Rock. And come to think of it, how you've treated me every year after that, too. But hey, who's counting?"

Dion strode over. Frazie's mental urgings became a klaxon - don't, don't, for god's sake Dion just let it go this once -

"Funny that you think I should be the one apologizing."

Raz set a dish down hard on the table.

"Funny, huh?" There was unrestrained venom in his voice, now. Frazie turned her focus to him, but her mind had barely brushed against his own before there were iron-clad barriers slamming down. It was like having a door shut on your fingers, and Frazie recoiled, wincing as a headache blossomed across her temples.

"That's right," Dion said. "After everything you did, you still think you deserve an apology?"

Raz dried his hands off, and turned, slowly. Dion had come right up to him, squaring his shoulders and lifting his chin in every effort to reduce the height difference between them. Raz leaned back, a careful, obvious display of nonchalance, and Dion moved forward another inch.

"Everything I did, huh?" Raz said. "Hey, Frazie, are you hearing this? Dion says that I-"

"Can you two just stop, already?" Frazie cut in. "I'm so sick of - you have this argument every time! When is one of you going to grow up and-"

Dion thrust his finger at Raz, and Raz flinched back another inch. "Yeah, right, like he wasn't the one who started this whole-"

"Don't raise your voice at me," Frazie hissed.

"I'm not! I'm talking to-"

"I started it, huh?" Raz's grin was almost a snarl, a wary animal showing teeth as he eyed up Dion. "Now how's that figure?"

Dion turned back to him, eyes blazing.

"Don't play dumb," he said. "You know what you did."

"Explain it to me, smart guy."

"You want me to say it? Fine! I'll say it!" Dion flung his arms out - he was really yelling now, the same way Dad always had, and Raz's snarl pulled back to his molars. "You abandoned our family! You betrayed the man who raised you, you turned your back on the circus-"

"The circus?!" Raz crowed. "This is about the circus, now?"

"Don't act like it's not," Dion fumed. "We've lost half our act. Did you even think about how hard it is to keep things running, to put shows together with two less pairs of hands?"

"The circus is doing fine-"

"You knew this was Dad's dream!" For a moment, Dion's voice cracked, something other than anger showing on his face. "You've heard him talk about it, same as I have. About how all he wants is to bring the family name back to its old glory. But that's right, you never cared about any of that."

Raz straightened up, setting into his stance as Dion moved closer into his space.

"Dad wanted me to be happy," he said.

Dion scoffed. "Sure. Because all you ever think about is yourself."

"Yeah, well, you know what?" Raz shot back. "I am happy! I bet that's more than can be said for you, isn't it, Dion?"

"I know there's more important things than-"

"Gotta make sure you're Dad's favourite, isn't that right?" Raz was holding himself back from shouting, but the words were picking up speed like a freight train. "Gotta make him happy! Gotta live his dreams for him, because god forbid you think about yourself for once in your miserable life! Or maybe you're afraid, huh, maybe you're scared that one day he'll be angry at you and-"

"Our father is-"

"Enough!" Frazie yelled. "I am done with having to listen to this from you two! Either take it outside the camp, or can it."

The two of them locked eyes with her for a moment, Dion with his jaw clenched and Raz's shoulders rising and falling. Then, abruptly, Raz slammed the rag he was holding onto the table and spun sharply on his heel to stride away.

"Hey!" Dion snapped, reaching out and seizing his arm. "I'm not done with-"

Frazie felt something suddenly light up blazing in Raz's aura - tension, fear, panic, danger danger danger - and then Raz moved too fast for her eyes to follow, pivoting his torso, and when she blinked Dion was sprawled out on the ground, wheezing as the wind was knocked out of him.

Raz was breathing hard. She took a step forward, and he flinched, his head snapping up to meet her gaze. He blinked. Then suddenly the tension that had been boiling at his brow was gone, dispelled in an instant. He cleared his throat, and straightened up, brushing himself down.

Dion groaned.

"What the fuck was that for," he gasped, struggling to lift himself up onto his elbows. Raz flinched again, and then looked away.

"Don't - don't come at me from behind like that," he said stiffly. He flexed his hands, and then added, "I'm gonna go - check on the caravans."

He turned, brushing past Frazie as she knelt to help Dion up. Once he was out of earshot, she said, "good job, dumbass."

Dion gave her a look that was equal parts pissed-off and pleading.

"I - he - he sta-"

"'He started it'?" Frazie simpered. "Gimme a break. You need to grow up. Both of you," she added, when Dion opened his mouth to retort.

Dion closed his mouth again. But he didn't say anything straight away. He just furrowed his brow, leaning on his elbows and staring off into the forest.

"Hey," Frazie said, when it had become clear that Dion would be content to brood for the rest of the evening. "Listen, you two need to talk about this. And I don't mean another shouting match, I mean, like actually talking."

Dion pouted. "Ugh, don't start. Next thing you're gonna say I need to apologise to you, too."

Frazie usually had a pretty high tolerance for bullshit from her whiny brothers. But after everything else she'd put up with that day, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. She shoved Dion back into the dirt, and leapt to her feet.

"Fine," she said, striding away as he spluttered. "Screw you too, asshole."

#tl;dr raz and dion refuse to communicate and also they both have a bunch of trauma #raz usually has pretty good emotional intelligence but his family is a big blind spot for him #and dion is just totally emotionally repressed. he learned from the best (his dad lol) #so they never talk about it and it's something that just ends up festering between them #it's not often that they really blow up at each other but when they do it's very messy #frazie sometimes mediates because she's individually very close to both of them #but also she has her own shit to do and doesn't have time to try and mend their relationship #when what's really needed is work and communication from both of them #anyway this is very rough and not really edited but i think it's more interesting than just reading a long essay #saying 'yeah dion's bad at emotions and raz has a bad reaction to people yelling so they're still mad at each other' #fsau raz #fsau frazie #fsau dion #fsau meta