Tumgik
#reactions. so yeah like its super interesting and can be super helpful and i cannot express enough how helpful it was to have language to
moghedien · 2 years
Note
Can you do a post about how Greta invited Carson on the date with the dude to chaperone and then Bev added Shirley to keep it “appropriately non-sexual” because she knew that Carson was not a non-sexual entity to Greta.
I’m also confused about Flo. Bev said there was an “attachment to a woman in town” as though if Jo wasn’t with Flo when she was caught then Jo wouldn’t have been traded?
Hmm ok, I have like *thoughts* on these but not entirely certain ones if you know what I mean?
So first with the Carson chaperoning thing, while yeah its funny to joke about Bev knowing they were a thing the entire time and making Shirley go along to chaperone them (I have literally made this exact joke lol), I'm not actually convinced of how accurate that is. I go back and forth on how much Bev is actually aware and that's mostly because Bev is so fucking good and hiding how she actually feels.
So like, the first thing to really remember here is that at the point when Greta goes on that date, she and Carson aren't actually even a thing yet. They had that one kiss in the closet of the bar. They have little gay moments in the second episode but nothing really suspicious to anyone that might be watching. When we get to the point were Bev actually tells Greta about the date, they didn't even have their little stargazing moment during secret practice yet (which Bev wouldn't know about anyway). Still, Bev's reaction when telling Greta about it is kinda interesting. After she says he was "a man with a shirt," she says this next line.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
When she says this, she immediately looks at Carson (who had been making sad faces since the mention of Greta going on a date with some guy) and more or less says that its just for the sake of the team's publicity. Now, yes you can read into this and be like "oh she's telling this to Carson because she wants to reassure her because she knows about her and Greta" but Carson and Greta are not a thing yet. I cannot emphasize that enough. So at the very least, she assuring Carson (and Greta) that this is something just done to help the Peaches' image.
But....why would she reassure Carson? They aren't going to make Carson go on dates. She's married. So you can either read into it that she suspects something is going on, or you can conclude there's some other reason. Like, I don't know, I'd be kinda weirded out if I was on some sports team and my teammates were just being set up on dates they had to go to, regardless of whether or not I was dating said friends. It isn't unreasonable for Bev to just see Carson there and try to make the whole scenario less weird, regardless. But also, she might have picked up on some tension between them.
So when we get to the part where we see Greta about to go on her date and she's just finished getting ready, there's this fun little detail:
Tumblr media
This room? The one that she's hanging out in before the date and acting like she's just finishing up at the dresser? That's Carson's room, not Greta's.
The nightstand has Shirley's humidifiers and is where the dented cans scene happens later on. I also might be obsessed enough to know the layout and door positions of the various rooms, but that' normal and not weird and also while you see Maybelle, Jo, and Shirley on Shirley's bed, you see Carson in the background putting away her clothes in her dresser.
Tumblr media
It's not necessarily super weird for Greta and the other girls to be chilling in Carson's room before the date because 1) it's also Shirley's room and they seem to be hanging out with Shirley, and 2) Greta's room as an attaching door to Carson and Shirley's. But its stilll....something. And Bev doesn't seem all that curious about the fact that she found Greta in there getting ready for her date.
She does however offer an interesting excuse for getting out of the date:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I've seen this pointed out before, that it seems a bit strange for Bev to be getting a period still. If we assume she's the same age as her actor, then she'd be 60, which would put her well past the typical age of menopause. It isn't technically impossible for a 60 year old to still have a menstrual cycle, but its very unusual and I think its supposed to be. I mean, even the girls look a confused when she says this:
Tumblr media
Regardless of what she has going on, I think this is a lie and I think that Bev at the very least doesn't want to go on the fucking date. I also think that there's a very good possibility that she was trying to give Greta an out here too. Because she says they're going to postpone the date, but more likely than not it'd just end up being canceled all together, or there could be some other reason not to go by then.
So Jo offers to go and Greta tells her no and volunteers Carson instead and there is WEIRD TENSION THERE. Now, I don't think that Bev would necessarily think "Oh they're definitely fucking" at this point, and I repeat myself by pointing out that she and Carson were not even actually together yet. However, there is some clear tension there. Carson doesn't want to go and seems bothered by this whole thing. Greta wants her to go and volunteers her for it and comes up with reasons why she'd be perfect. Carson is still visibly bothered by this and Greta clearly sees that.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So let's analyze who the fuck Bev is saying what to!
In the first shot when she's telling them to take Shirley, she's looking sort of in the middle of the room. Addressing everyone really, which is how she speaks during most of this scene. When she adds the "safety in numbers" comment, she looks at Carson, who is off to one side of the room by herself. This might be an excuse to either reassure Carson about her discomfort with the situation or to have a reasonable explanation as to why Shirley should go too.
When she says specifically the words "appropriately non-sexual," Bev looks directly at Greta and ever so slightly smirks.
So I don't know for sure here that Bev knows what is going on with them, like specifically. But I am 100% convinced that before Bev walked into this room, she knew Greta was a bit fruity and she at least suspects that she's into Carson. Whether or not she suspects Carson is queer too or knows that they've already started to develop a relationship, I have no idea. At the very least, I think she sees Greta trying to take her little crush along on their publicity stunt, so she makes Shirley go along as a precaution.
Not because I think she suspects that Carson or Greta would like, do anything during the date necessarily, but mostly to be like "look you can bring your crush along if it makes you feel comfortable but don't get too distracted because this is a publicity move after all." Shirley is there to remind Greta that actually this isn't a date, this is just her charming a guy to make the Peaches look good.
Now about the Flo and Jo situation, I think one thing that a lot of people on here fail to really grasp is how much danger Jo is in if she stays in Rockford, regardless of Flo.
When Bev explains what happens, she does so to Carson, alone, and there seems to be some interesting double speak going on here.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
So let's be absolutely clear what Bev is saying. Not only did she bribe the police not to publish Jo's name in the paper, but she also made sure that she charges were dropped and that the league has no idea about any of this. She didn't "save the league from humiliation," she saved Jo from being outright kicked out of the league which is absolutely what would have happened if anyone in charge found out about this. Because her name isn't in the paper and the charges were dropped, they have no way of finding out unless someone tells them and Bev straight up paid off the police not to do that. And she is absolutely risking her own neck here, because she would get sacked so fast if they found out she did this.
And she's just...telling all of this to Carson.
It could be because she's the coach, sure, but she's tried to hide information from Carson before. I definitely think there's more to it than that. I think that is an indication that she knows about Carson at this point. I think she also probably suspects some other things too because, in case you failed to notice this, Carson and Greta are still wearing the exact same clothes they were wearing last night.
Here they are celebrating at home right before they leave for the bar:
Tumblr media
And here they are the next morning when Jo gets brought in by the police:
Tumblr media
I find Bev someone who tends to pick up on things rather well, even if she chooses to ignore them, and I don't think she would overlook the fact that on the same night Jo got arrested during a raid on a gay bar, Carson and Greta are creeping around the house late at night/early in the morning and haven't even changed their clothes to indicate that they slept at all. I also don't think she failed to notice that Lupe and Jess were missing too.
If she wasn't already aware of Carson at this point, I think this would have tipped her off completely, because she is somehow connected to Greta on the same night something seems to have happened to all of the known queer Peaches. I guess Esti is also gone too, but regardless, Bev would have had to known that something was going on at this point, because she had already bribed the police and arranged for Jo to be brought back and traded at this point, and it's apparently pretty early in the morning.
So let's look at the rest of what she tells Carson about Jo now.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Jo being connected to Flo, would put her at greater risk, yes. If people who knew Flo found out about this and didn't like it, they could come after Jo. But Jo wasn't gonna be safe in Rockford regardless. Because if she did, too many people still knew about her. The police knew and individual cops might target her or the Peaches in the future regardless of them as a whole being paid off. Not to mention anyone those cops might tell. People who saw the raid go down might know. In general, it just wouldn't have been safe for Jo in Rockford, because even if her name wasn't published or she wasn't charged, people still know she was there. Hell, someone who's name DID get published might reveal her. Gays don't have to be good people, especially if someone thought she got away with something because she's a celebrity
So why does Bev bring this up? Because she's warning Carson. She might know that Carson is with Greta specifically or she might just have picked up context clues to realize that Greta and Carson were at the bar too. They might not have been there as a couple though. They could have all just been fellow homos going to find local girls together. Regardless, she's telling Carson to be fucking careful about being attached to people in this town. Because its dangerous and if you get caught, you'll probably have to leave for your own safety. Surely you agree.
262 notes · View notes
Text
Floyd, Ortho: Surpassing the Sky
Finally 😈 Floyd is allowed to be a Terrible Influence on the robot child... I think Floyd and Ortho’s dynamic is super interesting! Ortho’s a being of logic and calculations, whereas Floyd likes to be free and random. Their very natures clash!
Floyd looks like he’s having so much fun in his Groovy~ cnksbsjsndkd and I like how he’s not only flying so dangerously, but that it isn’t stopping him from reaching out to tug on Jade’s hat!
(Special thanks goes out to my friends M and Haki for helping to clarify the details of Floyd’s interview! ^^ I couldn’t have written this without them.)
A Boy in Bloom, and his Flowering Future.
Tumblr media
“What do you want to do in the coming year?”
“Hah?” Floyd’s face crinkled with disinterest. “I dunno, it depends on how I’m feelin’ that day. How am I supposed to know what I’ll be feelin’ in a year? No way can I decide on it now.”
Once those words had been chucked out, his expression changed, settling on a serrated smile. “Okaaay, interview’s over!” 
Floyd stuck out his hand expectantly. “Hand over the broom bouquet, Kurione-chan! I wanna get going already!”
“Eeeh?! But you didn’t give a proper response!!” Ortho hovered out of the towering eel’s reach, taking the broom with him. (Floyd glowered and attempted to grab him, only for Ortho to easily float out of the way. A growl escaped the second year.) “That doesn’t count. Please give me a real answer!”
“Fine,” Floyd grumped, crossing his arms. “... I wanna be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without people complaining or tellin’ me off about it.”
Ortho blinked. “Does that happen a lot?”
“Yeah, all the time.” The birthday boy rolled his eyes. “But so what if I skip class or mess up some of Azul’s clothes or plant glitter bombs in the Basketball Team’s lockers?”
“What was that last one?”
“... Mess up some of Azul’s clothes?” Floyd offered innocently--though his slimy smile was anything but that. “Anyway, it’s not like he can’t change it back with magic. I wanted to have fun and try new stuff out, so I did. Azul just happened to be in range the last time an idea struck me~”
“Ooh, I understand how you feel, Floyd Leech-san! I get excited when my big brother installs an update or a power up!” Ortho thumped his metal chest. “The best feeling in the world is when I’m suited up in a new gear and testing out its functionality!”
“Heeee~ So you like fashion too, huh?”
Ortho nodded eagerly.
“That’s pretty cool, little dude--but it’s kinda lame that you only wear stuff your brother designs for you. It’s a lot more fun to pick out your own threads!! C’mon, don’t ‘cha wanna be like a real boy?”
“You really think I can?” Hope rose in Ortho’s voice. He lowered himself to meet Floyd at eye level, curiously peering at him—searching for signs of a lie. “Really really?”
His prey was right where he wanted him to be. Floyd grinned to himself.
“Yup~ Sure you can. Anyone can do anything they want.”
“There are hard limits for both man and machine. Humans cannot surpass the sky. Robots cannot override their own programming. ‘Anything’ is an impossibility.”
“If you play by others’ rules, then you’re holding yourself back. That’s on you.” Floyd jabbed a thumb up. “The sky’s the limit? Then just break it. Problem solved.”
“Break the limit…?! But that’s—”
Floyd groaned. “Aren’t you tired of being nice, Kurione-chan? Don’t you just wanna go ape shit? Then you’d be able to have tons of fun, just like me…!!”
His hand darted out, tearing the broom free from Ortho in a clean motion.
The robot rocketed back in shock. “Uwah…!!”
Throaty laughter exploded from Floyd. He twirled his treasure triumphantly, relishing in Ortho’s reaction.
“Should’ve kept your guard up!” Floyd pointed the end of the handle at his junior. “What’d I tell ya? The impossible’s possible.”
All you need to do is make it so.
Ortho gawked at him, eyes as wide as saucers.
“Welp, the interview’s done since I gave you that ‘proper answer’, right?” Floyd chirped. “So I’ll be on my way~”
He clung to his broom, which had already begun levitating off of the ground—and slipped with a hoot. Floyd dangled off of the broom as it shot off. His farewell, a cackle.
The pointed spires of the school’s towers pierced a startling blue backdrop. A color that remained unchanged both rightside up and upside down, as bold and as fearless as a sailor braving the seas.
Daring the unknown.
“Floyd Leech-san!”
“Mmm? That’s…” Floyd looked back—
—and there was Ortho, hands cupped over his mouth guard, shouting after him. His pale complexion had brightened, illuminated by a light from within. Ortho’s voice, projected loudly by his built-in speaker system, rattled Floyd down to his very bones.
“I... I wanna to do it too! I want to be as undaunted as you are, I want to try out lots and lots of new things!”
I want to shatter that sky and surpass my own limits.
“Now you’re talkin’!”
Floyd’s laughter crescendoed into a mad fit. His magic—responsible for steering the broom—spiked, and the broom bucked with it, rocketing off into the sky.
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling.
Floyd opened his mouth wide and shrieked. Air cut at his skin, hair flew in his face. He relished every moment of it right down to his descent, as fast as a falling meteor.
Floyd tore through the atmosphere, diving toward the students and staff writhing like plankton. His sights were set on a blot of inky indigo embroidered with gold thread—a boy in robes that matched his own, struggling to fly up a flight of stairs.
“Jaaaaaade!”
He turned up too late; Floyd, floating upside down, had already fisted his hat. He grinned at his twin like a cat fat on cream.
“Ehehehe. Made ya look!”
“Fufufu. Indeed you did.”
Together, the twins released their joy into the sky. Each laugh, each joke, like a balloon set free, drifting far beyond the sun, and setting their hopes into the stars.
And maybe somewhere even further than that.
Tumblr media
140 notes · View notes
eliias-bouchard · 3 months
Note
ok hold on just for clarification are you like. pro transid etc.
i try and stay out of transid discourse for a variety of reasons:
with transdisability / transneurodivergency, i find it difficult to understand who the discourse serves? like, witch-hunting transautistics is not beneficial to me, as an autistic person, and if a transautistic is helping with fighting systemic anti-autistic ableism/sanism, then good.
i also find it difficult to understand exactly how transdisability / transneurodivergency is harmful beyond the emotional response of "how dare you romanticise my suffering". it's an extremely niche online discourse, online resources (i.e "tips on managing autism" posts, pages/blogs about disability, etc) cannot be depleted, and irl resources are either locked behind a diagnosis, difficult to get ahold of, or both, that i have no concerns that a transdisabled/transnd person will ever meaningfully take resources or whatever. the worst that could happen is that some impressionable preteen gets a really weird perspective of disablity/neurodivergency but like, they do that already
like even if some department of work and pensions dickhead is like "people on the internet are calling themselves transdisabled we need to develop a more rigorous screening process that will make more disabled people want to die when trying to get on benefits", thats not really the fault of transdisabled people? that's just systematic ableism.
it's not a discourse i'm currently capable of participating in or even researching without the kneejerk "they're romanticising my suffering" reaction, and if i am going to participate in it then i want to do so with a clear head and an understanding mindset, both of which i can't achieve right now
and there are, of course, cases where someone who is autistic finds transautistic to be a helpful "gateway label" (where their previous/current identification as transautistic helps them in realising/acknowledging/accepting their autism), there are probably people with a super weird relationship with being autistic (like, someone who was diagnosed as a child, and then their family hid this from them or gaslit them about it, etc, and then they later find out that they're autistic) who find transautistic to be a useful label,
with transrace, i'm white and i do not have a strong enough understanding of race like at all to have an opinion on any of it.
so like, idk if i can really be described as pro or anti transid? i try not to make myself the arbiter of people's internal experiences & i want to extend compassion and understanding to as many people as i can. i dont know enough or care enough to really make a comment on it.
my opinion on transplural is different because its like. a thing that you can do? no matter whether or not it's a good thing, or should be done, or if certain groups of people should do it, or what it should be called, or how it should be done, it is possible for someone who has been a singlet for their entire life to create a new guy in their brain and thus be plural.
is transplural a super good term? is it transphobic? i mean, i don't think so. other people probably disagree with me, but i don't really find that relevant. i don't see a way that it's tangibly harmful or transphobic beyond, again, "youre romanticising my suffering", and i don't really have an interest in discoursing about whether or not something is harmful based on my or someone else's kneejerk reaction to it
and honestly, if someone considers their plural journey to be similar to transitioning, hell yeah! queer the identity.
but i mean, with the post i made, the person did literally say "i am in support of people creating systems" (which is what willogenic means) but then also said "i am not in support of people creating systems". if it were the term transplural specifically, they made no indication of that
6 notes · View notes
trickstarbrave · 4 months
Note
"People who are annoying are just doing astrology wrong" nice no true scottsman fallacy there. People find astrology insufferable because it's a pseudoscience and you aren't helping the matter by insisting there is an actual "true" way to do it that isn't just being a dick to other people for no reason.
okay but there are actual methods of doing astrology. you know that right. there is genuine math calculations to find the position of EVERY planet and relevant asteroid as well as the angles between them. they are doing astrology incorrectly bc you cannot only look at one astrology sign in isolation. that's like finding out someone is. idk. a teacher and basing every last part of their personality around the random fact about them and getting mad when they don't act like the perfect "teacher" you have envisioned in your mind. which isn't what astrology is for
astrology is a cultural practice based around the principle of things do not uniquely happen to individuals and if you look at trends long enough and chart time you can make predictions about it. empires tend to last around 200 years without major disruption. communication and technology and travel problems pop up certain times of the year. people tend to have major life changes around the age of 28-31 where they finally become fully realized adults and have to process everything that came before that. the planets and stars and asteroids do not cause these with magical space beams, humans have just been basically have the same exact fucking problems, which is kind of endearing and freeing. like wow, my life is kinda being hell right now at age 28. glad almost every other human being who has kept track of it has gone through smth similar
if you dont have an interest in it that's fine too. i dont like sitting down with random strangers i dont know and telling them about themselves based on some math i did after being forced to ask them very personal information like "where exact were you born to the closest coordinates possible preferably and exactly what time down to the hour and minute". which is really what you would NEED to do to start actually making assumptions about someone based on astrology. like sure, they might be a cancer sun. they could however have various other placement that effect it like my saturn is conjunct my moon exactly which leads to much more tame emotional reactions and i have an aries moon (moon rules cancer so these are relevant), and an aqua rising which is more what ppl are going to see upon first meeting. as well my cancer sun is in the 6th house which influences things more in that area of life (like health and jobs).
people are complex and astrology is complex to account for that but really most ppl don't want a play by play categorization of their entire personalities, back stories, trauma, family relations, and relationships with their community. you frankly dont need to know all that to have a normal fucking conversation with someone. you can learn all of that that you NEED to know just by talking to them like a normal person rather than make assumptions based on their sun sign of all things.
personally im mostly interested in astrology in terms of problems you might face like personal flaws, pit falls, traumas, and difficulties in life. which a lot of ppl are interested in hearing about being dumped on them at random. so i REALLY try hard not to be weirdly invasive abt it especially. but when i am asked specifically to do so it tends to be accurate. which is again reassuring that man humans have always had the same problems and we've always found ways to get thru it
tl;dr: there are ways to actually do astrology and you dont even need to do all that to talk to someone like a normal fucking person. i do not get why ppl demand to know your sun sign and then judge you for it.
edit: also yeah its a pseudo science doing math doesnt make things super scientific. but lots of things that matter arent science. so
2 notes · View notes
thegongoozlerreacts · 2 months
Text
Hazbin Hotel Episode 1: Overture
hello i am back with a New Update on things to react to, and i thought Hazbin Hotel would be the perfect place to start since all episodes were fully released a few days ago! and also EVERYBODY i know has been bugging me about watching this show and now i FINALLY have the time to!!
spoilers under the cut
wow barely a few seconds in and i can already tell that the music is gonna be So Banger
wow okay so the opening exposition is Super Interesting
just wanna say the animation is also Fantastic in this section but ooh the lore drops
i really love the way the angels are stylized here, and how its all in black and white with accents of gold (except Lucifer who has a very light red gradient in his wings)
and also its the way that More color is brought on screen by Lucifer only oooh
oohh and the way that red gradient turns gray when the angels are like, disapproving of his ideas
its So Funny how Adam fumbled his first wife So Hard that she ran away and fell in love with someone else then his second wife got convinced by the First Wife and Her New Love LMFAOO
MAN this makes me feel SO Bad for Lucifer and i feel Conflicted as someone raised christian but like. i feel bad for him they do say that the road to hell was paved with good intentions
also Lilith thriving on the evil stuff like you Go Girlboss
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
these are So Pretty to look at
aww Charlie and Vaggie are So Cute
SEVEN YEARS? ouch seven years without hearing anything from her mom
Tumblr media
omg they are So Cute
Tumblr media
OMG THIS IS SO CUTE
damn the ominous Ringing of the Bell in the only angelic-like structure of hell
BYE ALASTOR'S AD.....
"Founded five days ago by Lucifer's ~delusional~ daughter!"
"As she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!" STOPPPP NAHHH THATS FOULL
the shaky camera i cant
Tumblr media
"HAHA I NAMED IT" LMFAOOOO yeah you sure did buddy
Tumblr media
incredible, they dont have A Working Phone
Tumblr media
their faces LMFAOO
love that Alastor is bad at TV commercials because he's like... a radio host. the radio demon. he is Decidedly Not a TV Guy
also can i just say that the animation is So Smooth and So Fluid like wow i could rewatch the way each character moves 100 times and that is NOT exaggeration
help he is So Mad that they arent doing a radio show
ok actually Angel Dust's voice is really good like?? idk something about it is just Fun to listen to
Charlie trying to be So Nice is extremely entertaining
OMG HUSK !! HIS VOICE HELP !! it fits So Well
also shoutout to the background music
omg Angel Dust has got a little heart spot on the back of his head thats really really cute
aww Charlie is so cute
OOH A SONG ALREADY
LMFAOO "That bitch is halfway down the street!" i love Angel's goofy little smile as he says it also Amazing how the fuck did she get over there so quickly????
i love Charlie's and Vaggie's voice
"They're bloodthirsty and deranged!" <- really funny that this is being said about angels
he is a Hologram hey this guy's An Asshole what the fuck did Charlie ever do to you
Tumblr media
new reaction image she looks so done with his bullshit im cackling
i can already tell that the new commercial is Not gonna go well
HEKSDJKSDN ANGEL DUST "I need a big strong daddy to put me in my place... on the path to redemption!" THE CHANGE IN TONE I CANNOT
oh ok so this Asshole Angel Guy is adam
"I'm the original dick!" BRO???? HELP?? IM ?? this does not sound like Angelic Behavior anyways what The Fuck is he even on about
the fact that he specifically calls out Climate Change as Earth's Problem, but not HERPES?? implies that angels get herpes i guess????
HELFHLDKJ I CANT Hazbin Hotel is KILLING it with the facial expressions
Tumblr media
there is not One Thought behind that eye new reaction image
its okay Nifty you're trying your best
there are just Too Many good reaction images and memes spawned from just this One episode
Alastor is So Mad and Bitter about TV
BRUH the way he couldve done all that The Whole Time but he didnt because he Hates tv 😭😭
also wtf Nifty's giant now
well... at least Vaggie and the Hotel Gang are having a better time than Charlie with this Asshole Angel Guy
"I've never made a mistake in my fucking life" says the guy who fucked up so bad that he had to get a second wife
fuck this song is banger BUT i hate adam
DAMN "And for those of us with divine ordainment/Extermination is entertainment!" fuck when he sings it it goes So Hard but like aw :(( what The Fuck Heaven
WTF THEY MOVED IT EARLIER ????? WHY ??
help Alastor just glitching on screen
oh what The Fuck theyre moving it earlier cuz somehow a demon killed an angel? and theyre gonna kill ALL OF THE DEMONS????? WHAT
and thats the end of the episode im.
wow well. honestly it was REALLY good and i am so excited to watch the rest of the series
unfortunately i have to go now, bye i will be back with my reactions to the second episode! tomorrow (hopefully)
farewell, folks!
1 note · View note
teeforhee · 3 years
Text
sometimes I see spn x-coded posts and I'm like. y'all need to spend a few hours reading alterhuman info posts and then a few days just giving on alterhuman blogs cause it sounds like there's some deeply complex and personal relationships with these characters and I think y'all might find it useful if you had words to describe your relationships with these characters
2 notes · View notes
astaroth1357 · 3 years
Text
Demigod MC Series: Demeter
Have I been using this series to vicariously punish Belphie for the events of Season 1? I cannot confirm nor deny that statement.
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter
Lucifer
Didn't think too much of the "human" when they popped out of the portal. Sure they had a straw hat and a huge basket full of produce but it wasn’t like they were… Wait… No… Were they…?
Oh no. Oh nonononono, this is not good…!!
Demeter is notoriously doting and protective of her children (see her freakout and breakdown after Hades abducted of Persephone as proof) and they've pretty much done the EXACT. SAME. THING. here!!
It was a mad scramble by him and Diavolo to contact and appease their godly Mother Bear before she came roaring down to Devildom herself to turn them all into barley. Thankfully, Zeus must have intervened at some point because though she was indeed PISSED, she didn't threaten to barge in… yet.
She made one thing very clear. Bend so much as a single hair on her precious child's head and there would be WAR…
The MC received a 24 hour security detail after that. Just Mammon wasn't going to cut it, he needed NO chances. It was a full rotation of Mammon, him and Beel for the entirety of their stay (Asmo and Levi both threw hissy fits at the prospect of babysitting, Satan couldn’t be trusted not to kill them just to irritate him, and Belphie was out for… obvious reasons).
In some ways, it wasn’t so bad. The MC was a very mild sort of person, rather even tempered. He’d dare say they were pleasant, mostly content to just tend to their gardens and be out in the moonlight…
But the problem was, he just could not convince them to stay OUT of nature. Including the forests, which were full of hellish beasts fully intent on gnawing their flesh from their bones… and their specialty was plants, not animals, sooo…
Their habit of sneaking out to wander the woods got so bad that he very nearly considered pulling a Belphie 2 and locking them in the basement for their own good. But Devil knows what damage their mother would do if she found out…
At least they make for pleasant company… And Diavolo seems to like them quite a bit himself so the mortal gets a pass from him. Now if they’d only consider their own safety for a change…
Mammon
They make him a KILLING.
Like, no seriously. Their produce is insane!! He’s never tasted food so good, especially stuff that’s come fresh from the ground! It only took a few berries for Mammon to throw on a straw hat himself and start harvesting! He’s a farmer now, baby!!
Weeellll not quite. He’s still absolutely only in it for the money, but anything he brings to a farmer’s market goes so fast that he can hardly care about the labor! He’s never made this much Grimm in his life!! And it’s totally legit for a change!
He bought himself another car, paid off half of his debt, and even got Levi back that 2 or 3 grand he leant him centuries ago. Really, Mammon’s living his best life and it’s all thanks to MC!
It’s a good thing his blatant grifting doesn’t hurt his relationship with them at all, in fact they seem to enjoy having his help regardless. They bring him drinks on hot days or invite him on picnics and stuff, it’s… it’s really sweet. They’re very nice to him and he appreciates it…
But… COULD YA JUST STAY PUT ALREADY???
It drives him INSANE that they won’t stay out of dangerous places!! After he started caring about them for more than just a meal ticket it only got even worse!!
He’s not usually one for monitoring someone’s every move (that kind of control freak behavior is more a Lucifer thing) but he eventually had to set up familiars around the House just to keep them from sneaking out at night...
What was so interesting out there anyway?? There wasn’t any kind of plant that he could bring them himself! They didn’t have any need to be out there!! 
They’d keep telling him they’d be fine but it’s not like he’s going to actually buy that. They were too… nice to be dangerous or anything so why would he believe them?
No more running off, MC! Please, he’s beggin’ ya!!
Leviathan 
Wait, gardening? Like, being outdoors and stuff? Ew. No thanks, he’ll pass.
That was more or less his first reaction when they showed up and it never really got much better than that…
He admits that they’re friendly and it’s not like he dislikes them or anything, but their thing so far from his thing that they just don’t have a lot in common… you know?
For starters, they get So. Antsy. when they’re inside for too long! He tried to invite them to a marathon once, but they could hardly keep still and kept looking around like they were searching for a window… He said, “to jump out of.” They insisted just for some fresh air, but he didn’t buy it...
They’re nice enough to listen to his rants, but they’re barely ever inside for him to do so and like HELL is he going to leave his room and stand around out there for that long. Ranting is at least a one to two hour engagement! What if he gets hot out there? And have you SEEN Devildom bees?? Hell no!!
He has, however, asked them on multiple occasions to reproduce flowers he’s seen in different anime, especially ones that have a very unique look and they’ve done some real wonders with that!
He can now claim to be the only person to ever own a Ruby-Jade Vine plant, straight from the pages of TSL when it was used to brew tea for the Lord of Lechery during his brief illness and-is anyone even still listening anymore?
The point is, it’s a flower so rare it was imaginary but now HE has it!... or had it for about a week until his utter incompetence of all things plant killed it…
He begged the MC for another but they were out of the plants they needed to make it and would have to go back to the human world to find more… He’s still mourning his loss… Poor Henry 4.0…
Satan
Well… He’s called this MC “salt of the Earth” and he does truly mean it. Take of that what you will.
He doesn’t get much in the way of intellectual conversation out of this mortal UNLESS he’s talking about plants, farming, or botany… Interesting topics and complex in their own right to be sure, but that’s pretty much their wheelhouse and they like it there.
That being said, the feats that they can perform are genuinely mind-blowing! They are the ONLY person he has ever met who can cultivate the Devildom’s own ultra-rare Phantom Orchid, a plant only blooms when it reaches a perfect state of undeath (i.e. both taken care of and neglected just enough so that it's only barely alive. The balance is so tricky to master that one hasn’t bloomed down there for centuries!)
There’s also something just genuinely relaxing about watching them work or helping them in the gardens… More so than he’d ever expected from such a simple activity.
He admits that he’s taken quite a few strolls through the flower-filled courtyard of the Demon Lord’s Castle just to admire its beauty... But anything that they can grow just blows all of that out of the water!
They even taught him several magic botanical techniques so now he can grow some pretty mad plants himself. Lucifer never expected to find that giant Venus Flytrap in his closet, but one was there regardless. 😏
Just… out of curiosity one day, he asked the MC if they could make him a new kind of catnip. Not for any nefarious reason! You know… just for research purposes…
The nip they made was so effective that the House grounds were FILLED with nipped-up cats for a whole month! He was in Heaven!! (and Lucifer practically wiped those plants from existence so he couldn’t get any more… asshole...)
That must have inspired them because they apparently made a demons-only version that they told him about WELL after the fact. Had he known, he probably would have burned the stuff on principle... Do you know how dangerous demon-nip could be to them? Experiment responsibly, MC!
Asmodeus 
Ehhhh, gardening SOUNDS like one of those things that should be super Devilgram-able, but then you realize how sweaty and dirty you get in the process and it’s a huge turn off… Sorry MC.
When they first came down to the Devildom, he thought two things: 1) Such a sweet little flower child, as adorable as they were, would never survive; and 2) even if they could, he would never ever see eye-to-eye with them on the “wonders” of getting all up in the dirt.
Well, he was right about 2, but certainly not 1. Personally, he thinks his brothers worry about them too much, they ARE still a demigod.
At one point he saw a pack of hellhounds almost trample one of their vegetable gardens and they lost it. Word to the wise, never try to take on a child of Demeter in their own garden. Those hounds were wrapped up in rose vines before they could even yelp...
Yeah, the MC would be fine.
That being said, while everybody else clamors over their produce, he thinks that their flowers are really where it’s at!
Taking just five minutes in one of their gardens is something else... He’s never seen blossoms as healthy and immaculate in all the Devildom before! Their beauty could (almost) rivals his own! What they do isn’t just a hobby, it’s an art.
He’s taken multiple pictures with their blossoms and they go viral every time. It’s so rare to actually see gorgeous, petal-filled flowers in the Devildom, most of the native plants are of the man-eating variety.
His only complaint about this MC is that they seem to feel much more at home in work clothes and dirt than they do in any sort of party-look he tries to give them… Cute as they are, they can afford to gussy up sometimes can’t they? Mud and grass stains don’t make for a good look, sorry.
Beelzebub 
Beel gardens and the MC gardens as well. Add on that they seem to be able to grow all manner of fruits and veggies and he likes this one. A lot.
They had just finished apple-picking when the portal nabbed them so they had a massive basket of apples at the time. Naturally, Beel more or less stole the thing on sight, but the apples inside were so juicy and good that he almost shook them down for more on the spot!
Imagine his surprise when they, half pleadingly, explained to him that if he got them some seeds they could just grow more… and it wouldn’t even take that long.
To be clear, the formula he saw was this: Get seeds > bring seeds to mortal > mortal grows seeds > mortal makes endless supply of food….
Congratulations MC, you’ve now earned the sixthborn’s eternal loyalty after a grand total of… two minutes. He didn’t even know their name, but he was willing to take a bullet for them (provided he got more of those apples).
The next several months were spent with Beel attached to them to the hip in some way, but honestly? It was just so wholesome anyway…
If he’s helping in the garden, he never complains. He does most of the heavy lifting and actually likes being out there with them (unlike others...)
Many afternoons were spent sitting under fruit trees and talking. Sometimes, they go to the trouble of preparing a picnic or something but it would always inevitably end with Beel plucking the whole tree clean of whatever ripe (or unripe) fruit he can get his hands on with a smile. 
The MC never minded though. That’s just another excuse to grow more, right?
His only problem was when the MC would sneak out to the forest… especially when they get too antsy and just go alone. 
He HATES it when they do that! How is he supposed to keep them safe if they just wander off?? He knows that they have a special connection to nature and all, but it isn’t safe…
He’s flown in and scooped them back up to the House on numerous occasions and his “talking tos” get sterner after every rescue... Please stay put, MC! He’d have so many reasons to be sad if you were eaten… 😔
Belphegor 
Okay, he was looking for a capable, if not gullible, human. Not a shoeless flower hippy!
He honestly wasn't expecting much out of this one... Damn their little heart because they did genuinely believed his lies, it’s just that they weren't… well… They were really good at gardening.
… And it grew kind of hard to keep hating them whenever they'd show up just to give him fresh berries or a bouquet to see him smile… He may claim that his heart is made of nightmares and orphan tears, but who doesn’t enjoy being given a batch of flowers? 
Damn their sweetness too… Right to here.
When it came time to kill them he had a heavier heart than he thought he would, but kind of saw it like putting down the sacrificial lamb. Gotta be done to reach better goals... Stiff upper lip and all that.
Unfortunately for him, they had taken to carrying packets of demon-nip with them as a self-defense measure…
He wasn’t exactly sure what he expected when they shouted “Get nipped!” at him mid-attack, but it wasn’t a face full of some smelly herb! Like, really smelly…! Actually, that smelt kind of good… Hold on.
Turns out murderous rage really doesn’t last long after you get what is effectively ultra-strong catnip thrown in your face. They ended up having to go and tell Lucifer what happened themselves because Belphie was way too blissed out on the floor to do anything... They were legitimately worried they might have fried his brain...
He’s told the effects of the demon-nip lasted three days. He doesn’t know, because he hardly remembers any of it... They described him as like he was high on “weed” and “ecstasy” at the same time but he doesn’t know what either of those are either so it wasn’t helpful…
Truthfully, they were so nice to him while he was recovering that he couldn’t even be mad afterwards so all's well that ends well? Either way, he’s sleeping under their orchard trees from now on. It’s peaceful out there...
They burnt all that nip though. It’s some strong stuff...
1K notes · View notes
anika-ann · 3 years
Text
In the Strangest Place (We Just Might Find Love) - Pt.1
Type: two-shot, pretty much canon
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader     Word count: 3700
Summary: You’re hiding from your boss in a supply closet, minding your own business, when a stranger joins you unexpectedly. 
This is not a beginning of a steamy story; given the reason you’re hanging out in the dark, even a make-out session is honestly the last thing you want to fantasize about right now.
But that doesn’t mean that the nice stranger cannot make your day much better. 
Warnings: mention of sexual harassment, a bit of angst, attempt at humour, language
Tumblr media
You were on the verge of screaming – or crying, you honestly weren't sure anymore. But you knew you were done. You had worked your fingers to a bone just to get here; to become a little bee in the most famous hive in Manhattan. Stark Industries. The Stark/Avengers Tower. The beacon of the New York skyline. The dream coming true.
Yeah, not so much.
You hadn't expected super-important assignments – after all, you were just an assistant to the head of one of too many departments – but God, you had not expected to be handling coffee so often. To be running ridiculous errands. Your degree from MIT should actually mean something here! If nothing else than that you were not just some pretty face and that you fucking didn’t deserve the treatment you were receiving.
And that was the root of trouble, really. You could handle making your way up, it would be tiring but not surprising, it was pretty much what you had assigned for.
But you had not assigned for the sexist comments, disgusting innuendo and for the grabby hands of your sleazy boss. Thomas Gregory was a fucking nightmare of a man and you swore that you were quitting if he called you a ‘Dollface’ or slapped your ass one more time.
And that was how you had got here, into this very moment; hiding in a dark supply closet like a creep with two cups of overpriced coffee in a cup holder and a piece of organic carob-nut muffin.
You weren't about to come out any time soon, because you simply knew your boss still would be a pig and give you yet another reason to hand in your notice and you had fucking wanted this job for so long, worked for it so hard and sacrificed too much that you just couldn't make yourself to quit no matter how much your skin cringed and your stomach rolled over every time Thomas Gregory touched you. It was so frustrating you wanted to scream.
Or cry, you still couldn't solve the dilemma. Maybe both.
You barely registered the hurried footsteps – and then the door was yanked open, you glimpsed a tall blond male figure and suddenly there was dark again. Except there was one more body in the very limited room of the closet, making you press your back onto the shelf.
Something rattled with your movement and the newcomer hissed a barely audible ‘Be quiet’ as two columns of muscles that were probably his arms framed your head leaning onto the very same shelf, so you could both fit in here.
The little order leaving his lips broke the last seal inside you. You were tired, frustrated and were receiving enough humiliation as it was, you did not need some random guy invading your hideout, barking orders.
“Look, mister, if you have any problem with me trying to make a little space for you in this tiny-ass closet, I recommend you to-”  
“Shh!” he hushed you and you thought you had never heard someone whisper so urgently; at least it sounded less bossy than before. It did not mollify you though, because this guy actually had enough impudence to-
“Don't you dare to shush me-!”
A hand went to cover your mouth and you let out an exasperated mumble of curses, while his voice continued.
“Please, just— I'm sorry, please, don't make a sound, my friend is trying to set me up and-”
Your eyes went wide and he suddenly fell silent. Before you could question his methods of shutting you up, his exclaim or the pause, and ask him to be so kind to find another closet, another male voice sounded somewhere behind the door.
“Come on, Steeeve. Man, don't be such a prude. Lillian is a great chic, okay?”
The man – the friend, you assumed – seemed annoyed and you couldn't believe that Steve had not been kidding you. He was actually hiding for the very reason he had offered you. You nodded as you heard the stranger behind the door move and the hand covering your mouth hesitantly disappeared.
“It's just a lip piercing, don't be such a tight-ass. It can actually be quite fun, you wouldn't believe what a girl can do with such thing…”
“Gross,” you commented soundlessly and you could feel your companion’s eyes burning a hole into your head in silent agreement.
“Goddammit, Steve!”
The voice and the footsteps slowly disappeared in the distance and you… you were face to face with a stranger named Steve in a limited space of a dark supply closet, his breath tickling your scalp, his cologne very much assaulting your nose; at least it was a pleasant assault.
“I'm sorry for being so rude. And thank you,” his voice caressed your hairline gently and hearing his suddenly polite tone and evaluating this whole situation, you could barely hold back a giggle all of sudden.
“You're welcome, Steve. How long has this been going on?”
“Two days-” That didn't sound too bad, he could probably take a lot more- “-at this level. With Lillian. It was Emily before that and Angelina before that. In smaller scale, it's been happening for about four months,” he recited dutifully as if he was reporting a status to his boss and this time you couldn’t help it – you giggled.
When you could feel the wounded gaze he gave you, you obediently made a sympathetic noise.
“Aww, poor you, your friend supplying you with no doubt great relationship material…”
“That’s what he said! But I don't want a relationship material. I don't want any material, not even his… one-night stand material. What does that mean anyway? These are women he's talking about, not a material-”
You let out a tiny pleased sound at his exasperation, which shut him up. You wondered if it was your turn to speak – it was hard to tell, supply-closet conversations weren't exactly your area of expertise.
“Kudos for that thinking,” you noted after short silence and the darker shadow of his figure tilted his head. “Did you try to tell him that you weren't interested…? Of course you did, why am I asking, that was a stupid question…”
“It's okay. I'm sorry, I got a little… carried away. It just… it's like talking to a brick wall.”
You hummed in sympathy again and the room fell into silence once more.
It was ridiculous how much your mind started working over hundred percent, trying to come up with something appropriate to say. The best you could do was:
“Hey, you want a cup of overpriced organic coffee? I happen to have two.”
The needy noise that let his lips was downright pornographic. Or maybe it was your mind playing tricks on you, the strange environment finally getting to you.
“I knew I smelled coffee here! I thought I went completely insane.”
You couldn't help but smile at that. Yeah, you knew the feeling all too well.
“Nope, your senses were not playing tricks on you. Help yourself. It should be around your left hand.” A rustling of a paper bag. “Oh. That's a carob-nut muffin – with carob instead of cocoa. You can have that too, I won't need that.”
“Alright, I gotta ask. Why are you hiding in a supply closet, with a muffin and two cups of expensive coffee nonetheless? And may I hand you one?”
“Such a gentleman. Thanks,” you murmured and accepted the cup. You weren't lying about not needing it – you wouldn't. Because you were about to quit; it was inevitable.
You sipped the warm liquid, its taste as bitter as the reason behind your actions.
“So?”
“I'm hiding from my boss.”
Your voice must have sounded terrible, because his own softened at the confession.
“And why is that?”
“Because if I bring him his coffee and muffin, he'll probably call me his good girl and— and slap my butt and-”
“I beg your pardon?” he growled, like honest to God growled, the strange sound warming your scalp.
And it was the righteous outrage in the sound he let out, the reaction that you needed, someone agreeing with you – a stranger, who wouldn’t feel obliged to do so just it was a duty of being a good friend to you – that made the levee break. Suddenly tears were streaming down your face, anger and humiliation, and your breath was hitching in embarrassing hiccups and the dark space felt so anonymous and safe at the same time that you didn't even care anymore.
“And if he does that I’ll have to– to quit, because I-I'm so fucking fed up with his dis-disgusting hands and si-sickening voice voicing his lizard thoughts a-and I ca-can't quit goddammit, I worked so fucking hard to-to get a job h-here and-”
You didn't realise your hands started trembling until the cup disappeared from them, placed back on the shelf, and a pair of much bigger and warmer hands gently enveloped yours, his body shifting just a little closer as he lost the support that had been keeping some distance between you.
“Hey, hey, shh, it's gonna be okay…” his voice washed over you soothingly, sounding almost at your ear.
Still, there was space between your bodies, a respectable distance – as respectable as possible in the limited space. It was as if he acknowledged it could make you uncomfortable – which probably wasn't exactly hard to figure out, given what you just told him.
“I'm sorry,” you sobbed and cleared your throat afterwards in attempt to compose yourself. “I didn't mean to load that on you, my problems are none of your concern-”
“Like hell they aren't. Sexual harassment on a workplace is everyone's concern, or it should be,” he grunted. His hands tightened their grip, not uncomfortably – reassuring. “This okay?”
You smiled through your tears. This Steve guy was really sweet to you. You almost forgot what it was like to be treated with respect.
“Y-yeah. Thank you for-- for asking. That was really nice.”
He huffed. “It should be a normal human decency. And I did grab you before that, sorry.”
“Something tells me you would let go if I said no more vehemently.”
“Of course I would.”
You gave him a watery smile he couldn't see and tried to calm your breathing completely. His thumb caressing your wrist helped. You wondered which department he was from; if his skills in comforting came with a job description or if he was a natural.
“Have you… have you tried to fill in a report?” he asked hesitantly, making your heart stop.
Oh yeah, you had. It had ended up in a shredder machine, because Thomas had spotted it. He had made you do it yourself, standing over you and watching, claiming the complaint had been baseless and it would pointless to hand it anyway, because he would explain the HR how it truly was. That you had made a move and he, the good father and husband he had been, politely turned you down, which turned you vengeful.
You whispered the story to Steve, your voice trembling, more tears escaping and you could immediately tell he believed you – because his grip grew steely strong, his teeth grinding.
“This is wrong. You should have never been forced to work for a man like him– objectifying you, touching you, threatening you, that's just--- you should talk to Tony,” he blurted out in the end and you frowned.
“Who's Tony?”
You had checked the whole HR department via their website when doing your research. You couldn't recall any Tony.
There was a short pause, broken by Steve's confused voice. “Stark.”
You blinked, wondering if Steve was joking. He didn't sound like he was joking, which was strange, because so far, he had seemed to be a smart and reasonable man.
“There's no way I'm scoring a meeting with Mr. Stark. And it's not like he’s dealing with things like that.”
“...Talk to Pepper then. I doubt she has bigger than zero tolerance for harassment,” he exclaimed confidently as if talking to Pepper Potts (this time you assumed whom he was talking about – did he call all of the big bosses their first name…?) was an option for a regular human being like you. Realizing that all over again though, that was tough.
“While I believe that’s her policy, it's not like I can just walk into her office.”
Steve seemed to consider that, while his thumb was still drawing patterns on your skin, almost subconsciously.
“I think you could. But if you're worried it might take a while and you’re scared to go back to your office now, let me walk you. I can explain him that every employee deserves to be treated with respect,” he offered finally, deadly serious, yet still sounding kind.
Your heart swelled. A guy you just met (in a supply closet, a good story to be narrated at parties, you supposed), suggested to help you out, no hesitation. God, wasn't he just too pure for this world?
“I… thank you, Steve. But… while you do have an impressive frame, I think it would only get worse. I think I'll just enjoy this extremely hipster coffee, which I'll later have to pay for no doubt and… and go face my boss to hand him my resignation. There are plenty jobs, right? I can as well serve coffee in a café,” you said with a sad smile, letting your hands slip from his comfortable hold.
“That's not right. Especially if you worked hard to– not to mention it's a matter of principle. You run away once and… running is a very hard habit to break,” he whispered, as if a secret, trying to reason with you.
You bit your lip when the truth of his words washed over you, along with the way he spoke; with such a strong believe in principles that should stand a standard. It… he made you forgot your own trouble for a second as you let yourself get lost in him. In the way he treated you, the protector's persona, yet not forced. He had suggested you to ‘let him come with you’, not even a note of command in his approach. This was not a man seeing an opportunity to be a hero when spotting the damsel in distress; this was a man who believed in what was right and wanted to fix things that were apparently broken. You wished there were more men like him, selfishly wanting one of them to be your boss.
“And men like these – they need to be put in line,” he added darkly, snapping you from your daydreaming of a better world. “Let me come with you. I'll—I’ll help you fill in the forms, walk you to HR. You don't have to deal with this alone.”
For all the comfort the dark had offered you so far, you wished for a little bit more light now, enough to see his face, his eyes. You knew they would be burning with honesty, you were sure of it, maybe a little rage aimed at a man who dared to treat another human being the way he did.
The offer was so tempting. But just imagining the security escorting Steve from the building for wanting to help you was enough to put out the fiery need to accept. It was ridiculous to care so much about his well-being after what could be minutes of knowing him, but no one could call you out on it. And if they did, you could always play it cool with ‘matter of principles’; good people only deserved good things.
You carefully reached out, hoping to find his hand again. Your heart skipped a beat when you brushed his thigh instead, but at least his hand was right next to it. He released a surprised breath when you took it into yours, way smaller one. You bit your lip when leaning in a little, blindly trying to meet his gaze.
“You’re a good man, Steve. I’m sorry your friend is giving you a hard time, you don't deserve that – even though I'm sure he means well. If you ever want to get him off your back...” you wavered at the ridiculous idea, but hey, why the hell not, he had offered to help you out first, “you can say you're seeing someone. Give him my card. I'll confirm we're together – he seems like a kind of a guy who would check.”
Shocked breathless laugh erupted from his chest and you assumed you hit the nail on the head. You fished out one of your business cards, handing it to him and releasing his hand then.
It was time to leave and face your fate, but Steve didn't make any attempt at moving out of the closet.
In fact, he seemed to examine the card for a while and then he quietly read out your name. You gasped in surprise. How the hell could he see anything? You could barely make out his silhouette!
“How-”
“I'm used to working in dark spaces,” he muttered absently. “Would you really do that?”
Slightly taken aback he was considering your offer, you nodded, only to realize he couldn't see it--- actually, he probably could.
“I would. Hell, I think I could handle one uncomfortable dinner with your friend vetting me,” you added, slightly amused at the idea. When you could hear his shocked exhale and wanted to take it back. “I didn't mean to-”
“Let me come with you to your office,” he repeated like a broken record and you frowned at the sudden change of topic.
“What-”
“It could throw your boss off your back for long enough for you to deal with the complaint. If you would be comfortable enough to play my girlfriend for a dinner time, why not now?”
Your eyes went wide and you almost choked on air.
“I-what? I told you it would probably only make it worse-”
“It will work.”
“How can you be so-”
The door yanked open and your eyes were hit by an unpleasantly sharp light, making you squint.
“Holy-” a ridiculously familiar voice you couldn’t place breathed out. “Wilson! I found him! You’ve gotta see this!”
You wanted to see the owner of the voice, but your view was completely blocked by the broad chest of your companion.
So you at least raised your head to meet Steve face to face so to speak. You couldn’t see much, your eyes still adjusting; with the light shining from behind him, playing a mysterious game with his blond locks, framing his impressive figure, he looked like a freaking angel, beautiful and righteous, bringing justice, yet wrapped in an aura of peace and serenity. You barely kept your jaw from falling on the floor.
You kept staring, focusing on his face, and slowly started realizing that his features too, were familiar. Mortification was creeping up your back as the puzzle pieces started falling into place, creating a horrifying picture, making you wish for the Earth to swallow you.
The voice from behind Steve’s back resolved the last doubts you had about your temporary mysterious roommate.
“Wouldn’t peg you as a get-freaky-in-a-closet kind of guy, Capsicle.”
You wanted to immediately protest that you had definitely not been getting freaky in the closet, but your brain was still frozen because of the big revelation – that you had just been comforted, hell, that you had just offered to be a fake date to Captain America.
You simply stared at him, unbeing able to hold your jaw from falling anymore. Because– because-- oh god.
Now it made perfect sense that he thought Thomas Gregory would be intimidated… by the idea of harassing Captain America’s girlfriend. You couldn’t really blame Steve for being sure it would work. Also, it kinda explained why he called Mr. Stark or Ms. Potts their first names – they were on the first name basis.
Which really was the least relevant thing right now.
A bashful smile appeared on Steve’s lips, a little guilty perhaps, and you just… giggled at the absurdity. You couldn’t help it. You had just spent minutes in a supply closet with Steve Rogers without having a single clue about it and while you didn’t do anything heated as someone would assume, it was one of the most amazing minutes of your life.
You must have looked like an idiot or something, because he chuckled too, completely ignoring another male voice growing in volume as the newcomer approached.
“Holy hell, man! I can’t believe what I’m seeing!”
At those words, Steve tentatively took your hand with an encouraging smile and led you out to the hall. You were met with two pairs of curious eyes examining you from head to toe. You lowered your gaze, now fully aware of the fact they belonged to Tony Stark – the Iron Man – and Samuel Wilson – the Falcon.
Well. Now the ‘party story’ finally got the right juice.
“Then don’t, Sam, because it’s not what it looks like,” Steve replied to his match-maker friend and took a deep breath, squeezing your hand tighter. “Tony, this woman would like to report harassment on her workplace.”
Your head snapped to Steve’s face with panicked gaze. What the hell was he doing?!
Tony Stark made a noise of disapproval.
“Couldn’t you try harder so she wouldn’t complain about you?”
“Tony,” Steve addressed him, his voice solemn just like his expression, which clearly surprised the billionaire. “I’m serious. It’s not about me. Her boss is the reason why she was hiding here.”
Without commenting any further, Steve handed him your business card and Mr. Stark hummed. You weren’t brave enough to look up. Was he going to wave it off? Was he going to fire you?
He said your name, making you gulp in fright. You had to look up now and you really didn’t wanna, too afraid of what you’d see. You were shocked to meet with a searching gaze, but not a mean one.
“It is true? Is your boss giving you trouble? Making sexist comments? Worse?”
You felt tears in your eyes, utterly taken aback by his sensitive tone, the inviting light in his eyes. It was too much to bear and you wanted to escape the kind gaze; and he wouldn’t let you. You only managed to nod when you felt Steve’s thumb caressing the back of your hand.
Mr. Stark sighed, adding a dark ‘goddammit’, and returned Steve the business card.
“Alright, kids. Let’s have a trip.”
And you just stared.
…what?
Tumblr media
Part 2
Tumblr media
I know, I know, Steve is a little bit of Knight-In-Shining-Armour here, but it made sense to me O:-)
Happy weekend!
Thank you for reading!
446 notes · View notes
Text
How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?
I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.
TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface
Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.
And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie
What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?
Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”
So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?
The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it
ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN
Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ
The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel
Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-
Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.
Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died
I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?
Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional
Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?
“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?
Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)
20 minutes in and I wanted to give up
So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??
The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?
AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR
“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you
So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar
I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes
“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED
“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT
The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired
“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY
STOP THE FACES IM-
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^
So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-
It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all
Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?
For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again
Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?
Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?
So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one
WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME
The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain
Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes
LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY
Tumblr media
I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought
“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do
Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!
“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?
“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf
Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park
“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t
So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️
“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT
EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT
“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT
The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.
Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)
This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot
WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-
I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...
I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.
LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there
The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not
I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.
Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess
So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up
YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH
The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-
I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious
“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT
“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU
“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-
ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU
There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful
Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?
And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???
She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there
So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???
Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!
She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender
The less said about the musical number here the better
Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!
ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING
Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number
The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.
Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨
I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything
Tumblr media
“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?
There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES
Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???
Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number
Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.
Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.
The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?
Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”
Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES
“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY
“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT
Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever
This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*
Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end
I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level
She got a service dog puppy which... okay?
Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!
I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing
AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻
Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.
We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.
As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.
339 notes · View notes
wizardofahz · 3 years
Text
Sentinel vs. CatCo
Kara sighs internally as she spots the Superfriends whiteboard.
While it has become a permanent fixture in Andrea’s office, it doesn’t always feature so prominently. The focus of the meetings determines its location. If it’s an internal meeting unrelated to the Superfriends, it can be pushed off to the side: towards the balcony or in front of the cabinets. If the meetings involve board members or anyone Andrea wants to impress, it’s tucked into a corner and discreetly covered.
Today, the Superfriends whiteboard stands right beside Andrea’s desk, which means their meeting is going to entail more requests for Superfriends interviews.
Kara braces herself.
And then Andrea says some of the worst words possible: “I want an interview with Sentinel.”
Kara wills herself not to react. On the other side of William, Nia actually snorts.
Nia has worked her way back into Andrea’s good graces, but Kara very much doubts that openly snorting at their boss’s request will lead to another mental health day. Before Andrea can react, Kara says, “I, uh, I don’t think she likes giving interviews.”
“That’s what Nia said about the Superfriends,” Andrea says, completely undeterred, “and we have since gotten interviews with most of them.”
As much as Kara hates to admit it, Andrea’s right. They never participate in puff pieces about what they do for fun, but when they have a cause to promote, they lend their voices in support.
Through his PI work and with his deep ties to the alien community, J’onn had been encountering many others who were also the last of their kinds. With an interest in preserving these alien cultures, he had dedicated a portion of the Mars space in the planetarium to a rotating exhibit of those cultures. He had also teamed up with Kara to revive her Aliens of National City series for a special feature.
Brainy had volunteered for a live public service announcement when a toxic chemical spill had breached the boundaries of an industrial complex and threatened nearby neighborhoods. He had been a little too thorough with the technical details though, and Dreamer had had to intervene to make it more vernacular friendly. His PSA had been big with the scientific community, where some of his equations had been beyond current understanding and sparked contentious debates.
Nia had done a fantastic interview of the new Guardian about marginalized human communities. To quell any curiosity, Guardian briefly mentioned that she wasn’t ready to reveal her identity, but she did reveal that she had the previous Guardian’s blessing to pick up the mantle. Annoyingly, most media outlets chose to focus on that rather than the deep dive into intersectionality.
Alex hadn’t done any interviews. None of the Superfriends had thought twice about it.
Until now.
Knowing how private Alex is, Kara can already picture her reaction to this request.
“If it’s about the ratings, I could get another exclusive from Supergirl,” Kara volunteers. “You said she’s the ideal Superfriend for interviews.”
“Mmm, but we’ve had Supergirl,” Andrea says. “We’ve had all the other Superfriends. We don’t know enough about this Sentinel.” She taps the board under Alex’s picture where it says “HUMAN?”. “Is she fully human? What is her motivation? If she is human, how did she come to join the Superfriends? I want to know.”
“And if Kara’s right?” William asks. “We seem to get interviews with the Superfriends on their timeline, not ours.”
“Then get yourselves on their timeline,” Andrea says. “But I’ll be generous and give you a week instead of 24 hours. If you still fail, well, you’ve heard me say your alternatives enough by now.”
On their way out of Andrea’s office, Nia passes by Kara and mutters, “I’m not touching this one.”
Kara cannot disagree with that life choice.
“What did Nia say?” William asks.
“Nothing.”
...
Alex looks up from her console as Kara enters the Tower. “Hey, what did you want to talk about?”
Knowing how little Alex will appreciate the conversation, Kara says, “You love me beyond measure, and that will never change, right?”
Alex turns around completely, resting her back against the console. She crosses her arms. She knows the difference between Kara approaching her abandonment issues and something Alex will find unpleasant. “Yes? Am I going to change my mind?”
Kara grimaces. “Andrea wants an interview with Sentinel.”
The look of horror on Alex’s face would be hilarious in any other circumstance. “Why?”
“Because you’re the last Superfriend not to give an interview. Andrea thinks that makes you mysterious and intriguing.”
“Not happening.”
“I figured as much. I tried offering up a Supergirl exclusive instead.”
“I love you.”
“Well, she didn’t bite.”
At that, Alex’s head drops back, and she stares at the ceiling.
“I'll write something up anyway,” Kara continues. “Hopefully it will keep Andrea happy in the meantime.”
“Thanks.” Alex gestures for Kara to come in for a hug. “I know you don’t like puff pieces either.”
“It’s okay,” Kara says into Alex’s shoulder. “I’ll find something meaningful to write about.”
...
Alex glances around the downtown street. Luckily she, Brainy, and J’onn had arrived in time to stop an Infernian from destroying a private lab. The police had also shown up and set up a perimeter, which was helpful as a crowd had developed to the south.
“Sentinel!”
Alex spots William Dey at the front of the crowd. "Oh, hell no.”
She normally likes William well enough, but given what Kara told her about Andrea’s request, he’s now on her list of the last five people she’d want to see at any given moment.
“I gotta get out of here,” Alex tells J’onn. “You and Brainy got this covered, right?”
They look over to where Brainy is explaining his containment technology to the police officers taking custody of the Infernian.
William says her name again.
J’onn glances at William then back at Alex with amusement. “Go. We’ll be fine.”
...
“Sentinel!”
Alex looks across the chaos of overturned cubicles and office supplies to see William Dey approaching.
Alex frowns. How did he get here so quickly?
Luckily they are on the fifth floor of the building, which means Alex has an exit strategy William doesn’t. “Supergirl, meet me outside.”
“Copy that.”
A few of the windows were broken in the fight. Dreamer already has the offending meta-human contained, so Alex doesn’t feel bad leaving William behind.
Alex picks the window with the cleanest break and jumps through.
...
Andrea drops something on Kara’s desk. “What is this?”
“An interview with Supergirl,” Kara responds after a quick look.
Andrea sighs. “Kara, I know you heard me when I said I wanted an interview with Sentinel, not any Superfriend.”
Kara shrugs. “I couldn’t get ahold of Sentinel, neither could William, and Supergirl had something she wanted to say.”
“Did you ask Supergirl about talking to Sentinel?” Andrea asks expectantly.
Kara blinks. “I think they have more important things to do than to act as messaging services to one another.”
“It’s not your job to think about their priorities. It’s your job to think about CatCo’s priorities,” Andrea says. “Get me an interview with Sentinel. You, specifically. And again, I don’t think I need to give you the consequences spiel. You have 24 hours.”
Kara reaches out to clear the Supergirl interview from her desk, but Andrea snatches it back up.
“I’m still publishing this.”
...
Kara looks apologetically across the couch.
Just as Kara had tried to give a Supergirl exclusive to spare Sentinel an interview, Alex is now giving an interview to spare Kara’s job.
“Okay, I have to make this on the record, so let’s maybe do a rehearsal.”
Alex sighs but shrugs her agreement anyway. “Yeah, okay.”
Kara hands over her notepad where the questions are written out. “These are the questions I’m going to ask you.”
“You already know the answer to most of these,” Alex says as her eyes glide down the page. “And there’s no way we can publish them.”
“I know. That’s why we’re rehearsing. We’ll have to come up with something that’s real but not revealing.”
Alex balks. Kara doesn’t have to wonder which question its at because Alex reads it out loud. “‘You’ve been a super hero for a while now, but this is your first interview. Why now?’ Seriously?”
Kara grimaces. “Yeah.”
“Because my little sister’s boss is a pain in the ass.”
“Alex.”
“Right, come up with a fake but real answer.”
But their quest for acceptable answers is a tedious process that comes up short.
“I can’t do this,” Alex groans and flops back into the couch cushions. “How about I promise that when I have something to say, I’ll say it to you? You can have that promise on the record.”
“I’ll try,” Kara says. She’s also tired, and she hates forcing this on Alex.
Andrea won’t be thrilled with it, but Kara will make it work.
...
The next day Alex sighs in relief at Kara’s single emoji text.
A thumbs up.
48 notes · View notes
Text
Love Letters
I have no idea how this turned out, I opened a word doc, blacked out and ended up with this. 
Master List
~~ “I would write you poems until my hands worked no more. Would play you music until my fingers bled. Shakespeare himself would have to rise from his tomb to stop me writing you sonnets. No words will ever convey the love which spills from my heart, but I will try to do so every day.” Johnny reads the letter loud, a smile on his face as he looks over at you. You’re certain your face conveys the sheer horror you’re feeling, and judging from the laughter that bubbles from him, it does. You’re frozen in the doorway of your own dorm room, staring at the man lounging in your desk chair, the man who’d just found your second best kept secret. “So, how much does it cost to get one of these letters?” 
“What are you doing?” His eyebrow hikes up at your question, and he gestures to the stacks of envelopes and the typewriter sitting on your desk. 
“You’re the one writing all the love notes around campus right? What if I want to send one to someone?” You blink at him a few times, still in shock, but step into the room properly and shut the door. 
“How’d you find out about this? Who told you?” You question, dropping your backpack on the floor and crossing your arms over your chest. He mimics your pose, though still in your chair. 
“Who said anyone told me?” He challenges, “I figured it out.” 
“Bullshit. I’ve been doing this for almost two years and no one’s been the wiser. The only people that know are my customers, so who told you?” He’s silent for a moment, not pretending not to size you up. You can feel your heartbeat in your chest, and part of you wants to celebrate having your crush alone in your dorm room, but the other part of you remembers he’s here for a love letter, not you. 
“Are you going to stop writing for them if I tell you?”
“Maybe, or maybe I’ll just revoke their long term customer pricing. Who was it?”
“Yuta.” Your eyes roll automatically at the name, you should have known it was him. 
“Of course it was. Did he refer you, or did he just tell you?” Johnny shrugs, clearly loving how annoyed you’re getting. 
“Maybe both. You haven’t answered my question.” 
“One time letters to someone are 25, self letters are 35. If you’re wanting a long term contract it depends on the frequency of the letters, contents and subject.” You finally relent, trying not to let the disappointment cloud your voice. 
“What’s the most expensive contract you have?” You motion for him to get out of your chair, which he shockingly does, so you can grab your clientele binder and find your contract sheets. He flops down on your bed while you work, watching you flick through the almost shockingly thick binder. 
“Someone pays me 75 dollars every other month to write three page long letters to send to his girlfriend overseas.” You tell him, pulling out a contract, “This contract is legal, by the way, I had a friend of mine in law school draft it. I only write the letters, I don’t deliver them and I am not responsible for the reaction of the recipient. You can’t get me in legal trouble if things backfire, nor can you demand a refund. You cannot ask for personal information about other clients, and no I won’t tell you if you’re giving a letter to someone who is already receiving letters. Any questions?” You finally look up from your contract, locking eyes with the boy sitting on your bed. 
“Would you handwrite a letter for me, or is it typewriter only?”
“I try not to handwrite letters, just in case someone might recognize my handwriting.” He smiles again, and you have to look away, trying not to blush. God, how did you get so unlucky? When you had started writing these letters, it was because of your crush on Johnny. Your roommate freshman year had found a letter you’d never planned to send and asked if you would write one for her to give to the girl she liked. From there, your little business blossomed, and now you had upwards of 30 clients, all paying you to write about Johnny without knowing. 
“Do I have to tell you who my letter is for?” 
“Nope, all you have to tell me is whether you know them personally or not, and if there’s something about them you want me to talk about.” You drop your binder on the desk, turning to face him once more. “I’ll also need your contact info, phone number or email preferably. I take cash, venmo, and cashapp, you have to pay before your first letter, and if you make it a long term thing, then you pay upon receiving the letter.” He nods, his lower lip sticking out slightly. 
“OKay, lets do one letter for now, and depending on their reaction, we’ll see about sending more.” 
“No problem, just fill this out for me, and we’ll get started.” You pass him the contract and a clipboard to write on. “For the first letter, I always have my clients tell me about the person they’re wanting me to write about, that way if you meet face to face, the letters still sound like you.” 
“What’s your major again?” 
“Psychology, with an English Lit minor.” 
“Makes sense.” The two of you are quiet for a moment while he fills out the form, and you take the chance to package some letters, ironically, one was for Yuta, who was definitely getting a scolding when he came to pick it up. “Alright here.” You don’t look at him, only extend your hand for him to place it in. You can feel him watching you as you finish up your work, marking who still has to pay for your work. “So, have you ever written a letter for someone, like from you?”
“Yes and no.” You weren’t sure why you even answered. 
“What do you mean?” You sigh, putting your papers away so you can move the typewriter front and center. 
“Every letter I write is about the person I like, that’s how it started.” You explain, “Yeah, it sounds like I’m writing about someone else, but it’s always about him.” 
“Ever had to write one for him?” You can tell he’s actually interested in this, but you shake your head, not wanting to talk about it more. 
“Don’t worry about my love life, Johnny, lets work on yours.” You grab a notebook, spinning to face him, ready to take notes. “Tell me about your person.” 
If you told me you were Eros, I would believe you. From the moment I saw you, the arrow of love had pierced my heart and rendered it useless to all others. Were you a god, I would be your most devoted priest. My lips would sing your prayers and praises until there was no oxygen left at your altars. Your mind rivals that of Shakespeare and Einstein, and I wish on every star that one day I may be privy to your innermost thoughts. Your eyes hold the universe, and your hands: my heart. You fill my dreams, and soothe my nightmares. Had I an ounce more courage, I would say these words to your face, but in truth, no words could accurately depict the love I have for you. It bubbles from my heart, courses through my veins and clouds my mind. I would give you the world, the moon and all the stars in the sky if you only asked, but now I can only give you this letter and hope you will not think ill of me. Yours ever, Johnny
“Here, all done.” Johnny barely has the chance to knock on your door the following day before you’re shoving the lilac envelope in his hands. “It’s not super long, but it’s pretty expressive, if you want more just let me know, I hope they like it.” You don’t give him the chance to reply, instead just shut the door and try not to start crying instantly. Every word you had said was true, and he was about to give it to some rando. You wanted to cancel every other letter people had asked for, so tired of writing about a love you couldn’t have. A knock on your door makes you huff, just wanting to lay down for a while. “What?” You demand, swinging the door open to find Johnny still standing there. He holds the envelope out to you, his other hand deep in his pocket. 
“Here.” 
“Do you not like it? I can rewrite it.” You offer, hesitating to take it. No one had ever hated what you’d written, to say it was a bit of an ego crusher was an understatement. 
“No. No it’s amazing, its everything I wanted to say. You did an amazing job.” He extends his hand again, not looking you in the eye. “But its for you.” 
“What?” 
“When I learned it was you-” He huffs, “Look, I’ve had a thing for you since English 101. You’ve always been super smart and gorgeous, but I’ve been too scared to say anything cause you were always writing these sweet things, and I figured they’re for someone else, so I didn’t want to pressure you into something. But I might not get accepted into my Masters and I didn’t want to leave without saying-” 
“Johnny.” He stops speaking the second you say his name, his eyes snapping up to yours. Your face is warm, and you can feel your eyes watering. 
“What’s wrong?” 
“You.” The bewilderment on his face is almost funny. 
“Me?”
“Yes you. Every single letter I’ve ever written has been about you. Even this one. I wrote you a love letter only to have it be for me.” You can’t help but laugh at the irony of it all. 
“Wait, really?” He’s laughing a little as well. 
“Yes you idiot. I’ve been so scared Yuta had told you, I was even gonna go cry once you left.” You admit, wiping at the tears that were falling. 
“Oh no, don’t cry.” He pulls you close to his chest, his head resting on yours. “Let me take you for lunch. Then maybe you can tell me some of those sweet things you’re always writing about me.” You both laugh at this, pulling away from him. 
“Don’t think I’m going to let this ruin my business, Johnny Suh, I’ve still got to pay for my coffee habits.” 
“Only if I get to read the letters first.” 
“Deal.” 
“And I get to see your client list.” 
“Not a chance.” 
35 notes · View notes
krappykawa · 4 years
Note
I read your s/o who likes to read hcs and was wondering if you could do the same request format or whatever it is you'd call it but with terishima,akaashi, iwa, Oikawa,and Daichi? Sorry if that's a lot! -anon
with a s/o that likes to read (part 2)
— iwaizumi, oikawa, terushima, daichi, and akaashi
word count. 1.4k
genre. fluff
note. i made these ones shorter than the ones in part two because anon requested a lot of characters and i didn’t wanna run out of headcanons to write,,, i hope you still like this though!
part one here
Tumblr media
IWAIZUMI.
- will read the books that you’re reading just because he likes the feeling of being able to bond with you over something you love since you’re so supportive of him already (literally the perfect man. perfect bf. give me a kiss rn RN!!)
- maybe not all of them, but if you get him hooked on the description, then he will probably finish the book faster than you
- if he doesn’t like a book very much he’ll take ages to finish it though
- if you ask him about how he’s doing with reading it he’ll be like “oh i’m almost done” when in reality he’s only 20 pages in
- he’ll send you texts about the books you recommend but they’ll be super blunt like “this character just died” or “oh they kissed”
- you sit at your phone for 20 minutes debating on how to respond to those because HOW??
- he loves cuddles,,,, would literally die for cuddles
- so when you climb into his lap with a book in hand and bury your head in his neck as you read his heart literally malfunctions
- his cute s/o with their reading obsession that he secretly finds so endearing climbing into his lap for cuddle time,,,,,, his heart goes &2:$84!;💞💖💘💖💓💖💞/):&38,
- iwaizumi.exe has stopped working
- but he’s also not afraid to pull you into his lap if he sees you reading on the couch
- he’ll probably put on a monster movie and just hold you as you read and he watches
- probably also buried his nose in your hair and revels in your scent (also kisses your head every so often because he can’t help it and AHHHH HES SO CUTE)
- when you start sending him messages about your books, he will attempt to respond to every single text or he will just wait until you’re done and text back with “u done?” (not in a mean way though) there’s no inbetween
- he’s smiling every time you send him those texts though
- aoba johsai’s volleyball team (ESPECIALLY OIKAWA) teases him mercilessly if they ever catch him smiling at his phone in the locker room or during class or during lunch (basically u text him a lot lol)
- sometimes when you slam your book shut and scream into your pillow, he will just watch you with amused eyes and probably make an offhand comment that’s similar to “remember to breathe while you’re at it.”
- you end up throwing the pillow at him (which he catches and then proceeds to walk to where you are and swing you over his shoulder)
- get your mind out of the gutter on the “over his shoulder” part i swear he’s just teasing you for throwing a pillow at him (I CAN FEEL YOUR MIND WANDERING STOP IT)
Tumblr media
OIKAWA.
- he makes an effort to read your books, really he does
- he’s just really busy, so most of the books he promises he will read stay only half way read through and never picked up ever again
- if you give him a sci-fi book though, this man will literally finish it at an insane pace
- literally he would be the one to text you at some ungodly hour (usually 3AM in the morning) because he just finished the book in one sitting and he’s literally brimming with reactions
- will text things like “WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST DIED”, “YN SEND HELP I THINK THEY’RE ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING STUPID”, “OH MY GODDDD I HATE THIS BITCH CAN THEY STOP TALKING” (always in all caps whenever he’s reacting to a book)
- you better pray that he doesn’t end up hating a character because he will text you every single time they show up on a page and complain about them
- “this character reminds me of ushijima why would you put me through this 🤕🤕”
- or “THEYRE TALKING AGAIN?? WHEN WILL THEY GET THE MEMO THAT I WANT THEM TO . ST F U ‼️😻”
- anyways, if it’s not sci-fi, it’s probably sitting on his nightstand and never touched again until you steal the book back
- CLAIMS he tried reading them (he got 2 pages in and then put it down)
- he is also a huge cuddler
- but you will not be able to read in his lap because he’s so fucking whiny
- “y/n-channn pay attention to meeee. you can read about that insanely hot dude in your book when you’re not already sitting in an insanely hot dude’s lap”
- big pouty face
- it works every single time and you hate him for it
- once you put your book down he will not let you go for a good ten minutes
- he also has tons of pictures of you reading on his phone because he thinks you’re so cute and feels like he has to snap a picture so he can remember how cute you looked at that very moment
- a lot like iwaizumi, oikawa will attempt to reply to every single one of your book related texts (except oikawa succeeds at replying to every single one)
- like you could literally send him fifty text messages in a row and you will get fifty replies back
Tumblr media
TERUSHIMA.
- i am so sorry to say this but i genuinely cannot see terushima being interested in your books whatsoever
- he thinks that it’s boring and always questions how you can just sit down for hours on end and just read
- this changes when you give him one of those insane, mind-boggling, really dark, murder-mystery books
- he’ll scoff at it but after a lot of begging on your part, he’ll give it a try
- he loves it
- he told you that he never got bored and that feeling like that while reading a book is so weird to him
- that is the only book you’ll ever get him to read though (okay maybe he’ll read a few more if you beg him for it with that cute pouty face of yours that he cannot resist)
- like he’ll treat that murder mystery book as a holy grail and insist that nothing will ever top it
- i’m sorry again but he probably texts you “what u doing rn?” and if you say something about reading he’ll try to get you to do literally anything else (most likely will send a horny text to try and steal you away from your reading, let’s be honest here)
- “come over baby you can experience all that you’re reading in that book first hand 😏😏😏”
- if you send him text reactions of your book he will most likely reply with “awe babe ur so cute” but not say anything about the books in itself (IM SORRY HE’S NOT MEAN ABOUT IT THOUGH)
- cuddling with him while reading will never happen
- seriously
- he will do everything in his power to get you to put the book down
- like start peppering you with kisses or tickling you
- he just can’t stand sitting down in silence for so long lol
- he doesn’t put you down for reading though
- like yeah he might not understand it and thinks it’s boring, but he admires that you care so much about it and also admires your commitment
Tumblr media
DAICHI.
- admires you for reading honestly
- like i feel like he’s the type to get really good grades but will not look at a book that he hasn’t been assigned to read for his life
- that being said, he probably has never read any of the books you ask him to read with you
- he’s told you he’s read one or two which is a lie (you know it’s a lie but you don’t tell him that because you know he feels bad about not reading them)
- he isn’t on his phone often so most of the time your texts don’t get answered for hours
- it’s kinda fun that way though because after a while you just start sending him long text threads and it’s like talking to yourself
- when he does respond it’s with something like “you look like you had fun there” (after that he’ll apologize for not seeing it and then ask if you had anything else about the book that you wanted to tell him about AWEHISHFNF)
- very good listener!! he’ll try and have a genuine conversation about the book even if he hasn’t read it (like if you want to talk about how you think the plot doesn’t work, he will either support you or give you valid reasons that sparks constructive conversation)
- will absolutely never see the texts you send at 1AM (until the morning) because he always passes out before 11PM
- will see them in the morning and will text back “well good morning to me”
- he has absolutely no clue what you’re talking about in the texts but tries his hardest to be supportive
- cuddling while you’re reading happens nearly every single time you’re together
- is very stressed from dealing with his volleyball children so he’ll more than happily sit on the couch and cuddle with you as you read
- sometimes he falls asleep while you cuddle and you just snuggle into him and it’s so cute
Tumblr media
AKAASHI.
- THIS LITTLE SHIT
- man oh man he loves acting like a smart ass whenever you text him about your books
- you’ll be like “my favorite character just died!!” and he’ll be like “well tell them to not die then wtf”
- will stay up late texting you about your book though because he’s most likely reading it with you so you two can bounce ideas off of each other
- if you like a character that he hates he will not hesitate to start a debate about why you shouldn’t like that character (full one page of reasons. this man takes his opinions very seriously)
- if you’re together at his house or something and you start yelling at your book he’ll be like “y/n don’t hurt its feelings.”
- you momentarily pause your yelling to deadpan him
- he stares right back
- “just be nice.” (you’re like BWAH???)
- HE ALSO YELLS AT HIS BOOKS THOUGH
- it’s uncommon but it does happen
- if you’re both reading or you’re doing homework and he’s reading, he’ll slam the book shut and yell about how stupid this character is (and when i mean yell, i mean yell)
- and if he doesn’t like the ending of something he will rant for days and you’ll have to remind him to take a breath
- he gets so hyped up from reading books it’s so cute
- will read with you when you cuddle read (does that make sense??? like when you cuddle with him while reading)
- will mumble things under his breath while you’re both reading but you’re on his lap so you can hear everything and you just laugh
- one time he mumbled “stupid bitch just fucking die already” to this character he hated
- you had to put down the book because you were laughing so hard
577 notes · View notes
tovelarisdreams · 3 years
Note
Hi! I saw your comments in a recent post where a gwynriel asked why people thought gwyn is a lightsinger and I felt compelled to reach out to you to say I AGREE and I am so sorry for the hostility you were shown for your completely justified (and non-combative) comments.
There are a few points that I wanted to make that I don’t think gwynriels understand.
1. A lot of people think gwyn is a lightsinger because of the possible foreshadowing techniques that Sarah implemented in ACOSF. Bringing up lightsingers so casually and then describing gwyn’s singing and breath and the reactions other had to both of those in the way she did is curious to say the least. Although it’s not confirmed, it is an interesting theory.
2. IF gwyn is a lightsinger, it does not mean she is evil! The most popular theory I’ve seen is that she doesn’t understand her powers and is possibly being unwillingly controlled by Merrill (who I think we can all agree is a little sus). Yes, there may be some people who want gwyn to be knowingly evil, much like many more gwynriels who want elain to turn evil just for the sake of getting her out of the picture. But the majority of elriels I’ve seen and interacted with are more supportive of the possible “Merrill abusing gwyn’s powers” theory since we all know that gwyn is canonically kind.
3. Gwyn possibly being a lightsinger is in NO WAY tied to her being an SA survivor. It is the same way that Rhys being able to casually mist people and Nesta being able to literally disintegrate the Queen with her powers have nothing to do with their being SA survivors. When gwynriels say that elriels are “attacking gwyn because she is in SA survivor” just because elriels suggest gwyn might have lightsinger powers blows my mind. And they say that “real life SA survivors are hurt by these theories” - why? I don’t like to talk about my own history but I myself am an SA survivor and in no way do I think that saying gwyn might have lightsinger powers (or even saying she could be evil- not that many are saying that) has ANYTHING to do with her SA history. I equate this with all of the hate nesta and Rhys consistently have gotten over the years. The way gwynriels are using gwyn’s SA history as a reason to dispel theories they do not like is akin to an anti-Nesta saying “nesta is rude and I don’t like her” and then someone saying “you are an awful human being for not liking her because she’s an SA survivor. You obviously do not support SA victims at all. How dare you not like nesta”. A character is not solely defined by their history with SA. And their SA is not inherently tied to every other aspect about them. IF gwyn is a lightsinger (and IF she uses her powers knowingly or unknowingly) that has NOTHING to do with her being an SA survivor.
I am just so tired of gwynriels trying to twist elriels’ words to make them out to be villains. No elriel I have seen on tumblr has ever said anything negative about gwyn’s SA history. If anyone were to attack her for that specifically, yeah, they should called out for that because that is messed up. But people need to stop assuming that everything said about gwyn is somehow tied to her being an SA survivor. That is a part of who she is unfortunately but that is not ALL she is and when gwynriels are constantly using that to combat theories they do not like, they are reducing her to her SA and THAT is what is the most messed up. Gwyn is so much more than her SA and she, as well as every SA survivor in real life, deserves the respect of being treated like they are a human being and more than their SA.
Sorry for this long post but I saw your comments and they were completely in-line with my beliefs as well and I wanted to show my support for you.
Heyyy! Thank u so much. That little "debate" left me a little shaken, to be honest. It became a real trigger, really fast.
Lets talk abou the point:
1) The lightsinger theory for me is one of the best ones. I've been saying this from the begging, Gwyn needs to have a important role next book. Yes, The book is Elain's. But Elain will get the sub plot with her Love interest like Nessian did. Gwyn's role, i believe, is realted to the bigger plot. Sarah described her singing for some reason, and its show to affect Nestha in ACOSF.
2) YES! I do not want Gwyn to be evil, and don't believe she will. Her being manipulated by Merril is a great plot. Cause that woman is weird lol. I understand why gwynriels get so mad about, cause this theory eliminates the romantic aspect of Gwyn's voice on Az. But a theory is a theory, and this one makes a lot of sense with what Sjm left as hints in ACOSF. And what u say is true. The make so many Evil elain theory, not only that but they portrait elain in a very evil, manipulative manners. They think that is super ok, but make on sigle theory about precious gwyn and they go crazy.
3) This is the worst part for me. They use a very serious real life thing, for a petty reason. There is no excuse for using SA as a argument to solidify book theorys. And they use for ANYTHING. Anyone say anything about gwyn, a they come boiling with rage saying u are being toxic and not respecting her trauma. Withou realizing that they are attacking REAL LIFE SA SURVIVORS. Its ridiculous. The Lightsinger theory has nothing to do with what gwyn suffered. Nothing. Most theories doens't. I've been in this fandom for a while, and not once have i seen anyone say anything rude about her in that manner.
The problem is: Their shipp doesn't have solid theories. They have some conversations along ACOSF that show no more than a friendly interaction. And then, the famous extra chapter. The problem with the extra chapter is: what happens there cannot have more power than what happens in regular chapter. That's why i say that the necklace wont be a major issue next book. Even of we decide to take what happens there as important, what do we really have ? Az talks to gwyn and helps her with her training. Then, goes to the library and give CLOTHO (not gwyn) the necklace for her to deliver, but he also say for her to give to any other pristess, if not gwyn. Also, says he does nto consider her a friend. What i take from it is: Azriel is the link between Gwyn and next book. Like i said before, she has a role next book but nothing ties her to elain. We need a link there. And that setence about their friendship, for me, its the hint left behind.
The way i see it, we dont have romantic fellings or interaction there. Only hints to bring her back next book. And talking about elriel in his pov. For elriel, we have the extra step. It says it right there, they never dared do anything other than touching hands and stealing glances. The invisible line they created, almost crossed. But stopped by rhys. Why ?
1) Tell me one author that is dumb enough to make a shipp canon on a extra chapter ? Yes, that kiss couldn't happen there. (Thank u Rhys)
2) Who doens't love a proibited romance ? Rhys order just gave us the best hint for the sub plot of elain's book. Along with some intersting drama between the charaters. (Again, Thank u Rhys)
In the end, sjm got a lot of marketing with that extra chapter too. Azriel is a fan favorite and she knew we were all waiting on that pov. Its a lot a marketing there too.
And Thank u for showinh your support! I love it ! As u can see, i have a lot a thoughts on Elriel hahaha
37 notes · View notes
Text
My personal Pros and Cons of my ADHD
Pros
-noticing all the little details and appreciating them in the fullest
-Emotional Dysregulation, because when I get a new plant, or find that one oddly shaped metal marble I lost a while ago, I am so excited it’s pathetic, but I love that feeling of pure joy.
-hyperfixation of the week/day/hour (i know some people describe it differently, let me be pls) . I usually switch between art mediums, and/or a few video games/social media sites. for example, I’ve been on tumblr for 3 hours as i write this, after not touching it for, i think a month?
-nuerodivergent friends. They’re just better.
-the ability to completely drown myself in information to ignore reality. Is it healthy? no. But i simply cannot handle another existiential crissi rn, so i will instead play minecraft while listening to alt rock playlists on youtube because getting spotify sounds like a lot of work.
-my ability to retain absolutely useless information, from either my, or my other nuerodivergent friends hyperfixations/special interests. I can explain to you in terrible formatting if it’s out loud, the evolution, history, training, anatomy and roles of the horse in our world, and how ao3 works, and what makes or breaks a fanfiction.
-Object Impermanence. When i literally hide myself a treat or surprise and forget about it, then get so excited when i do find/discover it again. I hide google questions, and/or song lyrics in my tabs :) its so fun. Also, hiding away stressors. Again, healthy? no, but i don’t feel like having anxiety all day, so whatever.
-Emotional Dysregulation, again. I can switch from sad or angry to happy and excited/content in a few seconds. It’s also great for getting my siblings out of their funk. ex., my sister is mad at me. I make a silly voice repeating what she said or cross my eyes at her. she laughs, then we can talk and have constructive conversation about why she shouldn’t get that upset about me “cutting off her reading time” when we share a room and I want to sleep, and know that she will be very tired tomorrow if she doesn’t also go to sleep. (We have this conversation almost every single night, i’m not even joking)
Cons
-Emotional Dysregulation. When i get upset, I’m Upset. Like, big time, ruining friendships and familial ties if i let it get out of hand, Upset. Yeah.
-Time Blindness. Constantly late, or early, or under or over estimating the amount of time it takes to do a thing, not eating til 4 because you forgot but you also should just wait til dinner, but now its 9 and I still haven’t eaten-
-Executive Dysfunction. I can’t do the things needed to function. Don’t have the mental energy to explain this one, so google it i guess? There’s a whole checklist of things you need to be able to do to function, and i can do like, three on a good day.
-Sleeping Trouble. People with adhd have trouble falling asleep, staying asleep, and waking up. So, sleeping trouble. So I’m constantly tired.
-Internal Clock is SLIGHTLY OFF. Nuerotypicals have that normal sleep schedule. Adhd ers have it shifted forward by, i think, 2, 3 hours. So we go to sleep later, and wake up later, and that’s the only way to get a healthy amount of sleep. My entire family also eats dinner super late, which might be because we’re weird, but I suspect the inner clock thing cuz we all got adhd.
-Object Impermanance. I hid my math homework one time. I failed that class. 
-Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Never trying, or starting cuz I’m so terrified to get a bad reaction. Constantly masking around certain people to appeal to the few of my Nuerotypical friends. Or, y’know, majority of my extended family. They’re ableist. and homophobic. And transphobic. And racist. and sexist. The list goes on, but, yeah. Never coming out to them! :D
-Masking. It’s exhausting and I can only handle so much of it.
-Not Masking around nuerotypicals. The shoot down after finally revealing my true thoughts, urges, feelings, stims, etc. just sucks. Super disheartening. 
-Squirrel or shiny jokes when they’re made by people without adhd. Yes, I do get distracted by squirrels, and shiny things, and dice. Stop pointing it out, and/or putting me into yet another box of your labeling. 
-saying that I’m lazy, worthless, or a disaster when really it’s not helping. I already have that internal monologue, you adding to it and giving it some truth/extra ammunition is not. helping.
-Emotional Dysregulation. Again, because mood swings. like, I’m trying to be rightfully angry with you. Stop making me laugh with you’re silly faces or pointing out of a weird face someone made in a picture you took. 
-the stigma about the hyperactive subtype. I’m inattentive. I have No Energy. Ever. Sometimes i have restlessness, but there is still no energy. Stop portraying me as bouncing off the walls, especially with caffeine. Caffeine just catches my body speed up to my brain speed, settling me down a bit, at least mentally. 
-people not getting when i say I’m overstimulated, or need some time alone to process or re-energize, and following me, or continuing to do the overstimulating thing. I will literally. lose. my. mind.
-when people shut me down after I share something that is really important to me, or make fun of me for liking something an “abnormal” amount. Flashbacks to overnight camp, when whenever I said anything about horses, they said I had to do five squats, and when i got really excited about discussing the differences in riding styles/types with another person who really liked horses, but rode english, they said that it was obnoxious, when i was just.. excited to finally find someone to talk to and who felt the same way after, basically, years and years of no one getting it or wanting to listen or talking with me about the thing. To this day I don’t discuss horses with anyone, cuz it hurts so much remembering that, and the fear of it happening again is still there. 
-seeing other people be ashamed about their adhd and hesitant to mention until i talk, like, super openly about having it, in like, the first 5 minutes of knowing each other. It just.. hurts.
-I’m super empathetic, not in a way that’s helpful though. Like, wincing, or limping myself because I saw you drop something on your foot, and am imagining it so vividly that it feels like it happened to me. Reading a fic about abuse or depression, and it hitting too hard and hurting me almost physically, and on a personal level because I simply cannot handle it. Feeling someone else’s pain so vividly that i can’t comfort or help them in any way, because I am so preoccupied with  feeling their pain. 
-never being able to finish things without starting something else. All the WIPs in my google docs, istg, i will be driven insane by it. 
(y’know, this was kinda fun. As a rant, but also as a way for me to identify things about myself and my adhd that i like. Like, I know its so much shorter, but I have a hard time with positive self affirmation, so it was kinda nice. I might do it again, but just the pros part cuz the cons are kinda depressing ngl.)
(OH, Y’all should reblog with your own personal pros added on! You can add cons if you’d like to :) I’m just interested in seeing how your experiences/feeling differ from mine :) )
42 notes · View notes
bogkeep · 3 years
Text
hmmmmmmmmmm maybe i’ll write an Introspective Musing Post about my relationship to religion and their depiction in stories because i’ve pondering about this topic lately
so for those who are reading this and DON’T know what’s been going on...  there’s this webcomic i fell in love with some years ago, about six years actually, that depicts a post-apocalyptic fantasy/horror adventure set in the nordic countries. it had, and has still, some very uncomfortable flaws regarding racial representation, and the creator has historically not dealt very well with criticism towards it. it’s a whole Thing. my relationship with this comic has fluctuated a lot, since there are a lot of elements in it i DO love and i still feel very nostalgic about, and like idk i felt like i trust my skills in critical thinking enough to keep reading. aaand then the creator went a teensy bit off the deep end created a whole minicomic which is like... a lukewarm social media dystopia where christians are oppressed (and also everyone is a cute bunny, including our lord and saviour jesus christ). which is already tonedeaf enough considering there are religious people who DO get prosecuted for their faith, like, that’s an actual reality for a lot of people - but as far as i can tell, usually not christians. and then there’s an afterword that’s like, “anyway i got recently converted and realized i’m a disgusting human being full of sin who doesn’t deserve redemption but jesus loves me so i’ll be fine!! remember to repent for your sins xoxo” and a bunch of other stuff and IT’S KIND OF REALLY CONCERNING i have, uh, been habitually looking at the reactions to and discussions around this, maybe it’s not very self care of me but there’s a lot of overwhelming things rn and it’s fantastically distracting, yknow? like, overall this situation is fairly reminiscent of the whole jkr thing. creator of a series that is Fairly Beloved, does something hurtful, handles backlash in a weird way, a lot of people start taking distance from Beloved Series or find ways to enjoy it on their own terms, creator later reveals to have been fully radicalized and releases a whole manifesto, and any and all criticism gets framed as harassment and proving them right. of course, one of them is a super rich person with a LOT of media power and a topic that is a lot more destructive in our current zeitgeist, and the other is an independent webcomic creator, so it’s  not the same situation. just similar vibez ya feel as a result of this, i have been Thinking. and just this feels like some sort of defeat like god dammit she got me i AM thinking about the topic she wrote about!!! i should dismiss the whole thing!!! but thinking about topics is probably a good thing so hey lets go. me, i’m agnostic. i understand that this is a ‘lazy’ position to take, but it’s what works for me. i simply do not vibe with organized religion, personally. (i had the wikipedia page for ‘chaos magic’ open in a tab for several weeks, if that helps.) i was raised by atheists in a majorly atheist culture. christian atheist, i should specify. norway has been mostly and historically lutheran, and religion has usually been a private and personal thing. it turns out the teacher i had in 7th grade was mormon, but i ONLY found out because he showed up in a tv series discussing religious groups in norway later, and he was honestly one of the best teachers i have ever had - he reignited the whole class’ interest in science, math, and dungeons and dragons. it was a real “wait WHAT” moment for my teenage self. i think i was briefly converted to christianity by my friend when i was like 7, who grew up in a christian family (i visited them a couple times and always forgot they do prayers before dinner. oops!), but like, she ALSO made me believe she was the guardian of a secret magic orb that controls the entire world and if i told anybody the world would burn down in 3 seconds. i only suspected something was off when one day the Orb ran on batteries, and another day the Orb had to be plugged in to charge. in my defense i really wanted to be part of a cool fantasy plot. i had no idea how to be a christian beyond “uuuuh believe in god i guess” so it just faded away on its own. when i met this friend several years later, she was no longer christian. i think every childhood friend of mine who grew up in a christian family, was no longer christian when they grew up. most notably my closest internet friend whose family was catholic - she had several siblings, and each of them took a wildly different path, from hippie treehugger to laveyan satanist or something in that area. (i joined them for a sermon in a church when they visited my town. my phone went off during it because i had forgotten to silence it. oops!) ((i also really liked their mother’s interpretation of purgatory. she explained it as a bath, not fire. i like that.)) i have never had any personal negative experiences with christianity, despite being openly queer/gay/trans. the only time someone has directly told me i’m going to hell was some guy who saw me wearing a hoodie on norway’s constitution day. yeah i still remember that you bastard i’ve sworn to be spiteful about it till the day i die!! i’ve actually had much more insufferable interactions with the obnoxious kind of atheists - like yes yes i agree with you on a lot but that doesn’t diminish your ability to be an absolute hypocrite, it turns out? i remember going to see the movie ‘noah’ with a friend who had recently discovered reddit atheism and it was just really exhausting to discuss it with her. one of these Obnoxious Atheists is my Own Mother. which is a little strange, honestly, because she LOVES visiting churches for the Aesthetic and Architecture. we cannot go anywhere without having to stop by a pretty church to Admire and Explore. I’VE BEEN IN SO MANY CHURCHES FOR AN ATHEIST RAISED NON-CHRISTIAN. i’ve been to the vatican TWICE (i genuinely don’t even know how much of my extended family is christian. up north in the tiny village i come from, i believe my uncle is the churchkeeper, and it’s the only building in the area that did not get burnt down by the the nazis during ww2 - mostly because soldiers needed a place to sleep. still don’t know whether or not said uncle believes or not, because hey, it’s Personal) i think my biggest personal relationship to religion, and christianity specifically, has been academic. yeah, we learned a brief synopsis of world religions at school (and i remember the class used to be called ‘christianity, religion, and ethics’ and got changed to ‘religion, beliefs, and ethics’ which is cool. it was probably a big discourse but i was a teen who didnt care), but also my bachelor degree is in art history, specifically western art history because it’s a vast sprawling topic and they had to distill it as best they could SIGHS. western art history is deeply entangled with the history of the church, and i think the most i’ve ever learnt about christianity is through these classes (one of my professors wrote an article about how jesus can be interpreted as queer which i Deeply Appreciate). i also specifically tried to diversify my academic input by picking classes such as ‘depiction of muslims and jewish people in western medieval art’ and ‘art and religion�� when i was an exchange student in canada, along with 101 classes in anthropology and archaeology. because i think human diversity and culture is very cool and i want to absorb that knowledge as best as i can. i think my exchange semester in canada was the most religiously diverse space have ever been in, to be honest. now as an adult i have more christian friends again, but friends who chose it for themselves, and who practice in ways that sound good and healthy, like a place of solace and community for them. the vast majority of my friends are queer too, yknow?? i’ve known too many people who have seen these identities as fated opposites, but they aren’t, they’re just parts of who people are. it’s like... i genuinely love people having their faiths and beliefs so much. i love people finding that space where they belong and feel safe in. i love people having communities and heritages and connections. i deeply respect and admire opening up that space for faith within any other communities, like... if i’m going to listen to a podcast about scepticism and cults, i am not going to listen to it if it’s just an excuse to bash religion. i think the search for truth needs to be compassionate, always. you can acknowledge that crystals are cool and make people happy AND that multi level marketing schemes are deeply harmful and prey on people in vulnerable situaitons. YOU KNOW???? so now’s when i bring up Apocalypse Comic again. one of the things i really did like about it was, ironically, how it handled religion. in its setting, people have returned to old gods, and their magic drew power from their religion. characters from different regions had different beliefs and sources. in the first arc, they meet the spirit of a lutheran pastor, who ends up helping them with her powers. it was treated as, in the creators own words, ‘just another mythology’. and honestly? i love that. it was one of the nicest depictions i’ve seen of christianity in fiction, and as something that could coexist with other faiths. I Vibe With That. and then, uh, then... bunny dystopia comic. it just... it just straight up tells you christianity is literally the only way to..?? be a good person??? i guess?? i’m still kind of struggling to parse what exactly it wanted to say. the evil social media overlord bird tells you the bible makes you a DANGEROUS FREETHINKER, but the comic also treats rewriting the bible or finding your own way to faith as something,, Bad. The Bible Must Remain Unsullied. Never Criticize The Bible. also, doing good things just for social media clout is bad and selfish. you should do good things so you don’t burn in hell instead. is that the message? it reads a lot like the comic creator already had the idea for the comic, but only got the urge to make it after she was converted and needed to spread the good word. you do you i guess!! i understand that she’s new to this and probably Going Through Something, and this is just a step on her journey. but the absolute self-loathing she described in her afterword... it does not sound good. i’m just some agnostic kid so what do i know, but i do not think that kind of self-flagellating is a kind faith to have for yourself. i might not ever have been properly religious, but you know what i AM familiar with? a brain wired for ocd and intrusive thoughts. for a lot of my life i’ve struggled with my own kind of purity complex. i’ve had this really strange sensitivity for things that felt ‘tainted’. i’ve experienced having to remove more and more words from my vocabulary because they were Bad and i did not want to sully my sentences. it stacked, too - if a word turned out to be an euphemism for something, i could never feel comfortable saying it again. i still struggle a bit with these things, but i have confronted these things within myself. i’ve had to make myself comfortable with imperfection and ‘tainted’ things and accept that these are just, arbitrary categories my mind made up. maybe that’s the reason i can’t do organized religion even if i found one that fit for me - just like diets can trigger disordered eating, i think it would carve some bad brainpaths for me. so yeah i’m worried i guess! i’m worried when people think it’s so good that she finally found the correct faith even if it’s causing all this self-hate. is there really not a better way? or are they just trusting she’ll find it? and yeah it’s none of my concern, it’s like, i worry for jkr too but i do not want her within miles of my trans self thANKS. so like, i DO enjoy media that explores faith and what it means for you. my favourite band is the oh hellos, which DOES draw on faith and the songwriter’s experience with it. because of my religious iliteracy most of it has flown over my head for years and i’m like “oh hey this is gay” and then only later realize it was about god all along Probably. i like what they’ve done with the place. also, stormlight archive - i had NO idea sanderson was mormon, the way he writes his characters, many of whom actively discuss religion and their relationship to it. i love that about the books, honestly. Media That Explores Religion In A Complex And Compassionate Way... we like that i’ve been thinking about my own stories too, and how i might want to explore faith in them. most of my settings are based on magic and it’s like, what role does religion have in a world where gods are real and makes u magic. in sparrow spellcaster’s story, xe creates? summons? an old god - brings them to life out of the idea of them. it’s a story about hubris, mostly. then there’s iphimery, the story where i am actively fleshing out a pantheon. there’s no doubt the gods are real in the fantasy version of iphimery, they are the source of magic and sustain themselves on slivers of humanity in exchange. but in the modern version, where they are mostly forgotten? that’s some room for me to explore, i think. especially the character of timian, who comes from a smaller town and moves to a large and diverse city. in the fantasy story, the guardian deity chooses his sister as a vessel. in the modern setting, that does not happen, and i don’t yet know what does, but i really want timian to be someone who struggles with his identity - his faith, his sexuality, the expectations cast upon him by his hometown... i’m sure it’s a cliché story retold through a million gay characters but i want to do it too okay. i want to see him carve out his own way of existing within the world because i care him and want to see him thrive!!! alrighty i THINK that’s all i wanted to write. thanks if you read all of this, and if you didn’t that’s super cool have a nice day !
32 notes · View notes
Note
Hot take: Bakugou's character wouldn't survive if not for the one he kept abusing all his life. 90% of his character revolves around his victim and yet the fandom paints him as this super developed, fleshed out character when in reality he'd never be anything bigger than a side character if not for Deku.
Also the concequences he supposedly received are just him being teased or not getting the win he wanted, no being kidnapped doesn't count, he literally got away with his shit while even been treated like a victim and the privilege to know something about Deku that isn't any of his business. And now because he sacrificed himself that one time the fandom acts like Izuku owes his ass anything. It's disgusting.
I have given up on him actually being half the decent character ppl make him out to be and the fandom reaction to him makes me hate him even more.
He's not complex, he's just a pretty boy, asshole archetype who gets nicer and has some more cooperative and ppl love to eat that shit up while making up stuff for him. He changes but he's doesn't change for what matters and definitely pales in comparison to other characters who are better written than him.
(holy shit, did they remove the character limit on asks?? omg a GODSEND)
Well yeah, if it weren’t for Izuku and how he treats Izuku he wouldn’t have anything to improve from; people only think he’s developed because he no longer outright bullies him and “””worries””” (I say in heavy quotes) about him, and “reflects” on how he treated him even though he.......... comes to the absolute wrongest, most idiotic conclusions imaginable, that put the brunt of the excuses on Izuku instead of himself, but Toshinori validates him because Horikoshi has made Toshi into Bakugou’s uwu stan and stan of the two boys’ “friendship” (completely ignoring the fact that THIS KID FOR TEN YEARS BULLIED HIS SON). He’s basically already been devolved to acting like a side character for a long time now, with his funny anger quirk pun partly intended that’s just treated like a joke at this point, just like everyone else’s character quirks, even though it would be far more interesting for him to, you know. actually get some therapy and learn to calm himself and become an actual pleasant person to be around. But that’s not what makes him “funny”, that’s not him, according to most people, so he’s always going to stay like this, a boring angry pomeranian who flies off the handle at everything for no reason, who has done the absolute bare minimum of “changing”, which makes him a perfect character in everyone’s eyes.
“He changes but doesn’t change for what matters” pretty much sums up the problem with him in a nutshell, and is the exact reason he frustrates me so much, that I’ve ranted about plenty before. Bakugou has never been viewed through the lens of a bully, an abuser, he was never set up to be that, at least not realistically, and so his development hasn’t happened in accordance with that setup either, and people don’t have a problem with it and actively praise it because the manga actively downplay(ed)s the severity of that origin story. People can ignore the reality of how seriously traumatic being bullied for ten years of your childhood, verbally and physically would be, and how seriously and with such sensitivity such a relationship and character arc must be handled, because aside from the very first chapter when Izuku and Bakugou are still in middle school, really, with the “take a swan dive off the roof” comment and others, it’s never focused on in that way ever again; ever since, it’s just been treated as a typical anime “rivalry”, that both of them need to better themselves to overcome. The story and teachers say “the two of them are so alike but they just keep missing each other; if they just made up for each others’ weaknesses and understood that they both want the same thing, they’d be stronger together!”, and Izuku HIMSELF tries so hard to reach through to Bakugou, always still considering him his friend, always feeling like he’s the one equally at fault for their relationship being as rocky as it is, when BAKUGOU!!! FUCKING!!! BULLIED HIM!!! FOR TEN YEARS. bullied a DISABLED CHILD, which again, as a disabled person who relates to Izuku and how he felt about his quirklessness, feelings that continue to affect him even long after he gets a quirk because of how he was treated when he was younger, is DEEPLY unsettling to me. You CANNOT read/watch MHA without the metaphor of quirklessness = disabled being very apparent, and so that makes Bakugou’s bullying and how it is so utterly glossed over and purposefully forgotten a hundred times more disturbing and aggravating than it already is! If this were any other shounen rivalry then yes, it could be resolved with effort from both parties, because both parties have their own personal reasons for why they have trouble getting along with the other, and the fun is watching to see how they will overcome those, but Izuku and Bakugou were never on an equal playing field to begin with; this is a bullying story, with its victim trying desperately to win over and befriend his abuser, when he owes him absolutely NOTHING and has a BOATLOAD of unresolved issues thanks to said bullying, with no outside help from adults for either of them because none of them are acknowledging it as fucking bullying. I guarantee you that if the manga went into much more painful, bleak detail and showed many more flashbacks of how Izuku was treated by Bakugou in the past, and then still continued with the “development” he’s had since, people would be unable to ignore it like they can now, and it would make all of them extremely uncomfortable like it does those of us now who already dislike him. Hori himself has said he doesn’t understand why Bakugou is so popular, but he’s able to just continue as he does with him because no one is complaining, and because he said he regrets making him so awful in the beginning, as if that magically makes it disappear as much as it already has in 90% of the fandom’s collective mind. You wanna know an actual good manga that also deals with a bully of a disabled child growing and improving himself and forming a close relationship with his former victim? A Silent Voice. Such a journey is long, and hard, and it is painful, with many ups and downs and many nasty, hateful, guilt-filled, depression-filled feelings from both sides, along with from other characters who either also partook in the bullying, were bystanders to it who did nothing, or were indirect victims as well. The bully is bullied himself after what he does, and then grows up nearly suicidal, closing himself off and struggling to be social and make new friends because he doesn’t know how and doesn’t entirely feel like he deserves it (and the story notably doesn’t go the route of “he was abused too at home and so that’s why he bullied”), and tries and fails many times to make amends with the person he hurt before he finally is at peace with himself and everyone; the victim, meanwhile, drowns in continued guilt and suicidal feelings over feeling like she’s a burden to others, both from her disability and from watching all the infighting and victim blaming and finger pointing that ensues between her old classmates when all of the nasty emotions are brought back to the surface, along with dealing with budding romantic feelings for her past bully when he genuinely starts being kind towards her and making an effort to connect with her. ASV is entirely about this complex narrative, it’s able to dedicate everything it has to telling this story tactfully and with all the time and attention it needs. MHA, meanwhile, is a shounen battle manga, and so it was never going to do this narrative and Bakugou’s arc justice, even though I honestly think it could have if Hori really wanted to, because Izuku and Toshinori’s relationship has such masterfully subtle and touching emotions and care, at least early on; Horikoshi knows how to write good, subtle character arcs. I’m not asking for something ASV level, of course not, when the series has so many other things it has to juggle. I just wanted Bakugou to be treated as exactly what he is: a former bully, who can be taught, and learn, and reflect, and change, and become a better, more humble, more interesting person, and actually become someone worthy of all the praise and love he gets, not only for Izuku’s sake, but for his own, as well. They don’t excuse his actions in the slightest, but it’s still undeniable that Bakugou himself is a victim of how the adults in his life have treated him and raised his own expectations of himself, giving him the crippling insecurity issues he has, and that they continue to harm him (and Izuku) by simply letting him continue to go on angrily the way he does, instead of getting him help and some therapy in order for him to change and heal from things like being kidnapped by villains (which is no small thing to go through!! on top of his guilt over Toshinori’s final battle!) and becoming a better person to the one he hurt in the past, and it all just makes me so sad, not because I’m all “uwu poor Bakugou”, but just cause his character deserves better, as a person he deserves better, just like Izuku deserves better than everything he’s gone through because of him. This is all just a very long-winded way of agreeing with you OP that yes, none of Bakugou’s “punishments” for his behavior mean anything because he’s punished as a rival student who needs to humble himself in order to get along with his friend he doesn’t like, not as a former(??) bully who needs to be separated from his victim. The bar is set so low, was never set where it should be, and so absolutely no progress to “better himself” Bakugou makes either will mean anything, as long as it’s never acknowledged that he needs to make amends as a bully and abuser.
30 notes · View notes