Being cheated on by your boyfriend, without a question, is already bad enough. Unfortunately, he destroys your confidence so thoroughly in the process, you have no idea how to recover from it.
To your luck, a friendly stranger is more than happy to show you that there is a life after such betrayal, through his friendship, calm nature and delicious food.
~ X ~
Welcome back! :D
Here we are again, with a loooong fic! I'm really hyped for this one to get rolling, as I had lots and lots of time already to stew on it ^^ Seriously, this has been waiting for... almost two years at this point. But now is the time, and I'm really happy to give Yamato more love, so long after my last fic for him.
Also, my love for food shines through in this one. A lot. Prepare for unnecessarily detailed descriptions of food, all of you ;D
Otherwise, have fun and enjoy yourself! I hope you guys like it! See you all in two weeks with the next chapter! :D
~ X ~
The loud and incredibly low bass thundered through your ribcage. Your ears had given up a long time ago and talking over the loud, so called music was almost impossible. Only with a desperate wave of your hand, you were able to gain the attention of the barkeeper, a lanky student with pitch-black hair and a sharp death-glare thrown at every girl who dared to swoon over his coldness.
Eventually, the twenty bucks in your hand also could’ve done the trick.
Only a few people waited at the bar and you were extremely thankful for that. The nightmare of making your way through the crowd of people dancing the night away had already been bad enough. One last push upwards and you sat in a worn-out, old bar stool; the faded out, red cushion surely groaning lightly under your behind, but over the music, it was not audible at all.
Breathing in itself was difficult, at least it seemed like this to you; air dense, heavy and enriched with the scent of at least a hundred different, sweating people. And most of them were located on the dancefloor, grinding their sweating, for the most part, clothed bodies together in the search for attention or a short-lived sexual release.
Somewhere, swimming in the mass of people and reveling in the heat and the beat of the so-called music… Was your boyfriend, Ryota.
And just like his name suggested, his endurance was top-notch when it came to partying and other stuff which was loud and obnoxious, which was funny and exciting, which could make him talk for hours, with his green-blueish eyes sparkling and the black curls hanging on his forehead. A bad boy from head to toe, cladded in artistically ripped jeans and a worn-out leather jacket.
Like every so often, you were convinced by Ryota to come with him to a “cool underground club, it’s the place to be, all my friends will be there, we will have so much fun!” And, like always, he would spend the first five minutes by your side and try to look like a caring boyfriend, before the lust to party was stronger than the need to uphold a front, and he vanished into the crowd.
A bottle of weak beer was placed right in front of you. With a short nod, you thanked the barkeeper, paid and tipped him rather generously, and watched how his bored features lit up a tiny bit at the extra you paid him.
“I know it’s hard,” you shouted over the demands of the other patrons, “And I know sometimes it’s shitty! But keep your head up, alright?”
The student nodded, a smug grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. If you were just a few years younger, you probably would’ve started to swoon too, just like the other young girls in your proximity, but like this, you only toasted to him, before swiveling your chair around and watching the jumping and bobbing crowd on the dancefloor. The music was already getting on your nerves, pretentious and thumping to the point of moving your intestines more than your legs and feet. One sip at your beer and your eyes raked down another row of twerking and horny people, rubbing themselves against every human who was lucky (or unlucky enough – depended on the perspective) to be in their way.
In this kind of chaos and darkness, it was impossible to spot one familiar face. With a deep, tired sigh, you turned again to the bar and gently pushed your bottle to the side, before waving at the student again.
This time, he immediately came over, even though a bunch of girls who had screamed their orders at him pouted visibly. “What’s it now?”
“Mind making something stronger for me?” This time, you shoved ten bucks over the counter. “I need it to stand the so-called music!”
Fair enough, you had to repeat your order two times, but the third time was the charm. The barkeeper’s face lightened up and he nodded, his nimble fingers taking the crisp note into his hands. “Tonight, it’s even worse than usual.”
“Amen.” You joked and watched the young man whirl some bottles and flasks around like he was in a circus. Putting on a show, without a doubt to impress the other thirsty party-goers and It-girls, who were already waving their money at him in their desperate attempt to get his attention.
Another short glance over your shoulder. Yes, still no Ryota, even though he had promised to come after an hour or so to the bar. Only an ocean of people you didn’t know. You didn’t have time for this, there were still some manuscripts to organize, some edits you had to make and some e-mails to write before you had to go to bed in order to not zombie your way through the day tomorrow. You just came because Ryota demanded for it-!
The lump in your throat grew by a margin. Quickly, you swiped up the beer again and drowned the sorrow clogging your mouth with the watery, bitter beverage. Thankfully, your strong drink didn’t have to wait long.
A pale hand slid into view, gently pushing over a tall glass with a dark brown and strongly smelling liquid inside. “Long Island Iced Tea,” the young man informed you with a cocky grin, “Strong enough?”
“Just right!” One whiff of the drink was enough to make your eyes water. Still, you took a sip. The alcohol was definitely noticeable. The very first bit made you slightly dizzy and an artificial warmth seeped into your limbs, even making you grin slightly from the strength of the drink. A gesture to make clear he did a good job and the barkeeper waved over his shoulder, already throwing around the next set of glasses, bottles and shakers.
Again unnoticed, you turned once more around. Nope, still no Ryota. Not like you seriously expected him to suddenly show up.
He always leaves me alone on these occasions. Bitterly, you sipped again at your Long Island Iced Tea, the alcohol burning in your throat. Always leaves me behind. I’m so sick of this.
In this moment, sitting at a bar in a shabby underground club, the bass thrumming through your chest and clawing into one of the most alcoholic drinks you ever ordered in your life, you felt like the loneliest person in the world.
With another determined sip, you slid down from your stool, waved one last time at the young barkeeper with the duck-like, maybe black hair and started to snake your way through the dancing crowd. It was time to seek out Ryota. Now that you were here and had a nice drink, you could just as well try to have some fun while you were at it.
The beat changed. Strangely enough, you found your head bobbing to the Japanese type beat, Trap mixed with a lot of bass and a little bit of HipHop. The people loved it, screaming in delight and resuming their dancing and grinding like there was no tomorrow. Knowing you would find your drink, and only anchor, on your low-cut shirt as soon as you would take a single step onto the overcrowded dancefloor, you tried to make your way around the mop. On the other side of the dark club were some small alcoves, complete with seating opportunities and tables to enjoy some more drinks. A lot of kissing couples chose these alcoves for some privacy and apparently mistook the shady light in the club as a curtain for all their depraved, sexual activities. If you weren’t mistaken, there were at least three pairs with their tongues shoved into the other’s throat, hands gripping into hair and moaning soundlessly underneath the thrumming beat. Avoiding looking at them, you went further, taking another sip from your cold drink.
Ryota had to be somewhere here. When you arrived, his friends immediately went for the alcoves, only to be joined by your boyfriend a few minutes after your presence became too boring to him. Quickly and with expertise, your eyes scanned the seats and really. You spotted the strange mohawk-cut of Gen, Ryota’s best buddy. Shining in a bright pink under the blacklight of the club, you watched the man down a shot with a maybe-too-young-to-go-clubbing girl in skimpy clothing. You squeezed yourself past a hollering group of frat boys, who wore nothing but jeans shorts and tapped Gen on the shoulder.
Annoyed, the man waved over his shoulder without even giving you a look. Again, you tapped his shoulder, jabbing your index and middle finger into the crease of his body.
Finally, Gen turned around. He could be described as a good-looking man, if one could look past the stupid tattoos which were scrawled across his forehead and jawbones, telling everyone who read them to fuck off. What kind of tattoo parlor did this kind of tattoo anyway? A sharp haw nose and chiseled features greeted you, together with a pair of pilot-sunglasses which hid the deep brown eyes which were able to send a lot of girls swooning when Gen winked at them.
“Where is Ryota?” you screamed at him.
Gen grimaced and flicked his wrist, like you were an annoying insect he had to shake off before he could continue wooing his current interest with a couple more drunken slurs. The bass changed the rhythm yet again, the crowd pushed from behind and you nearly spilled your drink. Growling lowly in annoyance and not even hearing it, you shored yourself, threw a glare at the idiots in your back, only to lean closer to Gen, ready to hit him with your bag if he wouldn’t spill his secret. “Where. Is. Ryota?”
You weren’t too sure, but you thought you heard the other man groan. Then, finally, he warily gestured at one of the alcoves, only a few meters away. The sight was shielded by a group of shouting guys and girls with hair in neon-colored and cool undercuts. With a little nod, you thanked Gen, before walking off, protecting your drink still from the rowdy crowd and the occasional, accidental bump. With a little shoving, you managed to gain some space, some room to breathe, only to get spit out at the other side of the group. Stumbling and quickly finding your balance again, you checked if everything was still where it should be (Bag? Check. ID? Check. Money? Also check.) before continuing your way over to the alcove. One last, hearty step past some rowdy drinkers and your vision was free.
Free to look at the occupied alcove. Another couple, moaning into the mouths of the other and hands greedily grabbing and sliding underneath flimsy clothing. Free to look at the ripped jeans you knew so well. The one you had washed every so often, the one which was heavenly rough against your skin when Ryota took you against a wall, half naked and fully engaged. Free to look at the familiar leather jacket, black and worn-out, cool in the fall and warm in the spring. Free to look at the black strands, wild and untamed, being combed by a pair of heavenly manicured hands. Free to look at the same face, the same features, the same pair of lips which was plastered against another pair of stark-red lips, the same pair of lips which had kissed you not too long ago when you entered after a long day of work your flat and were greeted by your boyfriend.
Your brain seemed to be under water, every thought was more drawn-out than usual. Your vision was filled with Ryota and the little slut sitting draped across his lap, her hips grinding against him, his hands on her ass and grabbing the undeniably full, round cheeks with both hands. With a strangely detached clarity, you watched them for some more seconds, while your brain tried to connect the cruel pictures to the terrible reality. The bass thumping in the back of your head didn’t help either. Still somehow not realizing what happened, even though it happened right in front of you, you took another sip of your Long Island Iced Tea, while the ice-cold certitude breached finally through your mind.
Ryota cheated on you. When he invited you to the same club. Shoved his tongue into the mouth of the next best bimbo he could get his hands on. Didn’t waste a single stray thought on you, while you waited and waited at the bar for his sorry ass.
Another sip, another burn of alcohol in your throat. One look at the still halfway filled glass and a vaguely formed idea was born. Before you even realized it, you stepped closer to the pitiful worm and his slutty companion and raised, with a final glance, your drink above their heads.
“Cheers,” you mumbled to yourself and moved your wrist. “On our relationship, asswipe.”
With a deep, blurred satisfaction, you watched how the ember liquid poured out of the glass and right onto Ryota’s head, mixing with the ink-colored hair and the ruffling, slutty hands. For some more seconds, you continued to pour and the two lovebirds probably didn’t notice anything despite their own needy emotions. But then, something seemed to strike through their dirty lust and they finally pulled away, sputtering and in the bitch’s case, screaming and squealing.
You watched with a dull sense of victory how Ryota blinked, shook of some residual Long Island Iced Tea and jerked up to scream at the culprit, but stopped when he noticed who stood right in front of him. He could only stare at you, while his little bitch jumped at you, her long, sharpened fingernails out and ready to claw and scratch.
“What’d you think you doing, huh!?” she slurred right into your face. “Fucking bitch! What’cha doing, huh?”
“From my point of view,” you screamed back, cold anger burning in your heart, “it looked like I poured a drink over MY boyfriend and you, NASTY bitch!”
At least, she had the decency to look shocked. Her big, embarrassingly thick lips popped open in a silent Oh, before her eyes went wide in dim realization. Apparently, Ryota hadn’t only lied to you, but to his new little plaything as well.
Interesting. Very interesting.
While the plaything started to ramble how she was sorry and that “she never had no clue about anything, I swear,” you only stared at Ryota. Dead on into his lying eyes, a disgusted tug around your mouth and nothing but a sickening, slimy feeling in the back of your throat.
In comparison, the real problem didn’t even have some last remains of simple manners in his bones. Unafraid and defiantly grinning, he sat there in the alcoves, the bulge of his still half-hard erection clearly visible and open due to his spread legs, and arms crossed over his chest.
“Anything to say?” you screamed and the cool glass of your drink seemed to cut into your bones.
He only shook his head, still defiantly grinning.
The cold anger warmed up by a sharp margin, but you controlled the sudden urge to slam your drink into his teeth. Instead, your fingers tightened and the bitch glanced warily at you. Through her alcohol-induced daze, she seemed to realize someone was about to explode and it wouldn’t be Ryota.
You leaned slightly in. “Out. NOW.” You had to scream the last word on the top of your lungs, not entirely because of the loud music or the wave of people whooping and singing to the lyrics of an 80s song. A little bit of your anger sneaked into your voice, and finally, the confident smile on his face wavered the tiniest bit. Not waiting for him, you turned around, spine filled with lava and steel.
A hand grabbed your shoulder and before you could circle around and snarl at the offender, the plaything shouted into your ear, her fingernails digging into your flesh like the devil released a hell-cat into the wilds. “I’m sorry! I’d no idea!”
No idea. Of course, she had no idea. Your tongue felt like it was in a knot, heavy and tangled up, so you only nodded sharply at her. It didn’t calm her down, measured at the worried expression in her eyes, but you didn’t care. Ryota was in the attention of your focus now. Ryota. Ryota, the lying, cheating bastard of a son of a bitch.
It was like someone else was guiding your body through the crowd of dancers. Someone else had control of your legs and arms, someone else made you avoid the exaggerated movements of some of the other drunken patrons, someone else numbed the cold realization of the discovery. And still, the realization of the reality didn’t quite make it yet into your brain. Detachment of your mind from your body, what allowed your mind to fully wrap itself around the problem, which followed you, after a quick glance over your shoulder.
You didn’t look back again. You walked through the door to the entrance area, where you had left your light jacket, past the bouncer, who looked with his deep, intense eyes at you and Ryota, past the small groups of waiting party-goers who were eager to join the hell in the very hellhole you just escaped. Friends, probably, a little bit on the older side. You only paid so much attention in your narrowed view because you could feel their eyes on you and the man in your back. Ryota’s steps still followed you. You could hear them, a few meters away, just as light and jumpy as their owner.
Light and jumpy. Now, that you looked back, all the signs had been there. Only coming into your flat when he wanted, only the barest minimum of necessities left behind, only texting you and only occasionally texting back when you tried to ask him for a meeting. Like a fairy, jumping from one flower to the next, not settling on a single one. While still making one of the flowers believe she was the infamous “only one”.
You snorted. I’m the lovely, dumb, naïve little precious flower. Fucking snowflake, too blind to see beyond the tip of my own nose. Fucking blind for the obvious truth.
In the next entrance of a dark alley, you stopped abruptly. There was not a lot of people around, perfect for a little “talk” with Ryota.
“What the fuck was that?” you asked.
You turned around just in time just to see the man shrug like a moody teenager. “Pretty clear to me what that was,” he drawled lazily, “I was so close to get blown. But you had to destroy that for me.”
“Of course! What the fuck, Ryota!” You pointed at him, voice strong and anger burning as a cold flame in your heart. “Are you not even ashamed? For not being able to keep your dick in your pants for a goddamn second? In the same goddamn room as your girlfriend!?”
He shrugged again. “It was about time. Seriously, I asked myself how long you would take to realize that you weren’t the only pussy I had. Seems I get some bucks from Gen. He said you would notice beforehand, but I betted you would need some time. Guess I was right.”
“For how long? For how long did you fuck around?”
“Let’s see. I think around three mon-! Oh wait.” Before you even had the time to feel a little bit relieved, Ryota grinned in a smug manner which made you sick. “There was this blondie at the band exercise. Fucked her right over the hood of my car. Four months ago. Or something.” One of his hands rose to wave lazily, as if values like human decency or some kind of loyalty were overrated.
The world in your vision started to spin and blur. Four months. Four months out of five months of relationship. That you didn’t notice, the signs were there. In the first month, Ryota couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Every goddamn minute he spent with you in your bed. Or against a wall. Or over the edge of the kitchen counter. You allowed the new sexual experiences, enjoyed them even to a point, and when they subsided, you just thought the first honeymoon-phase was over. Almost one month into the relationship, you realized now, and could only barely stop yourself from spitting some well-chosen and definitely insulting curses in front of Ryota’s feet.
(He deserved it, though.)
While you tried to wrap your head around the new revelations, the little punk continued, in the same joking manner you first loved and now rapidly started to hate with every fucked-up, too proud word he formed. “I mean, in the beginning, you were a new tight hole. It was nice and your flat is also a great place to crash at. But then you didn’t even want to blow me, I mean, come on! I have needs! Just fucking get your tongue to work and do it! You got so uptight and boring, I couldn’t stand it. And always the condom. Always, always the condom. It doesn’t feel the same with a condom on. You’re on the pill, so I really don’t understand your fuzz around it.”
“Apparently, I made the right decision then. When you really fucked every available, dirty pussy, I could’ve gotten your STDS. Time to get myself tested, I guess.”
You didn’t even try to hide the bitterness in your voice. A fact Ryota also noticed. He squinted his eyes, before his whole face turned into a snarled grimace. “Don’t you dare to-!”
“I shouldn’t dare?” you hissed. “No, you don’t dare to talk back to me right now! You’re the asshole who’s so fucked up to slobber all over the face of a nameless bitch while your girlfriend is in the same room, only a few meters away! You’re the fucked-up scumbag who stuck his tiny dick into every girl who was willing to spread her legs for you. Don’t make me the bad person here for not obeying every stupid little sexual thing you asked of me!”
In the back of your mind you were painfully aware that you created a scene in the middle of a street, with strangers able to hear every little, embarrassing detail of your private failure. But in your intoxicated mind, it also seemed goddamn tempting to tear Ryota apart, bit for bit for bit, until you were done with him. And not the other way around.
But before you could get another word in — lips already parted and tongue already forming the syllable for the next objection to his insulting views on your relationship — the man-child snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Please. You were glad for my experience. Thanks to me, you got out of your nun-mindset and loosened up a bit. At least the next man who comes up with the intention of getting pussy will profit from the things I taught you. At least,” his eyes turned into a pitying, sickly sympathetic glance all over your body which made you nearly retch, “you’re not as vanilla as before. Missionary, please. But still, you’re so terribly boring in the bedroom. Get the stick out of your ass and hop on some dick, maybe then other men than the ones who take pity in your hairy snatch will want to fuck you.”
Boring. The single word burned in the back of your throat. Boring in the bedroom. Vanilla. Just because you declined some of the things Ryota wanted to try out? Just because you didn’t think anal sex sounded pleasurable? Just because you laughed nervously when he dropped his jeans, called you bitch and told you to worship his erect dick? Just because you didn’t feel comfortable with something you thought of as a show of trust between two people and that should feel good and secure for both involved parties?
Without an ounce of mercy, the man continued, while you could only listen to his venomous words and try not to lose the last shreds of dignity you had left. “Just see the truth here, (Y/N). You’re a goddamn prude. Were one when I picked you up and you still are. Damn boring in the bedroom and to be honest, also outside of it. I only stuck with you this long because you had a nice flat, food and to be honest, some money for me when I would ask for it.”
“But you-! You said you needed it to pay your rent!”
“Yeah.” Ryota shrugged. “Needed it. For booze or some new equipment for the band… I sleep mostly in my car, anyway.” The unspoken “Or in your bed” echoed through your mind.
You had the feeling of being on a too high mountain. The air became thinner and thinner, your lungs burned and black spots appeared in your vision. Disbelief settled in your bones; sheer, raw horror of seeing the full capacity of Ryota’s betrayal. Not only cheating for so long, but freeloading and basically living off your good will? How didn’t you see this? How didn’t you notice any of his schemes and tricks?
Your heart pounded awfully loud in your ears, clogged your throat with its erratic beats. Trembling, you drew a breath in, prepared to speak, but in the end, no sound came from your mouth. Whatever was happening right now, the anger from catching Ryota with his pants basically down was long gone. Erased by the bitter truth he revealed so casually, now that he saw his furs going down the drain.
“Anything else I should know?” you asked silently. “Except for the fact that I’m boring and merely a pity-fuck of five months?”
“Yeah. You really should start shaving regularly. There was a reason I didn’t want to go down on you, after all.” Ryota didn’t even blink once when he said that, loudly. Loud enough for the chattering group a few meters away to fall silent. Some of them even looked at you and grimaced, before quickly turning away again. They whispered among themselves, but you could imagine what they were talking about, measured at the glances they threw over their shoulders once in a while. Even more ash on your head, more shame, more pity, more embarrassment. Boring, ugly and unshaved. Tears burned in your eyes and you tried to suppress the sobs ripping at your lungs.
No, boring, ugly, unshaved AND dumb. That’s what I am.
Ryota wasn’t one bit affected. How could he, the cheating, lying bastard he was? He just wiped his long hair behind his ear, all the while smugly grinning at your obvious disturbed mindset. “Yeah, I think my work here is done. Maybe I’m still lucky and I can get some pussy before the night is over. Thanks for ruining my first lay, by the way. Just shows what a stuck-up prude you are.”
You would love to say that you had the dignity and grace of an ice queen, unmoved and cold to the mean words thrown your way. But you hadn’t. Instead, the first tears fell, rolled down your face and burned on your alcohol-induced flushed cheeks. Thankfully, the cheater had already turned away and waved over his shoulder, not seeing the effect he had on you with his hurtful words. Thankfully. At least he didn’t get the satisfaction of seeing you cry and weep over his well-aimed insults.
Being in a relationship meant opening yourself up, according to most people. The partner would see all of your insecurities, all of your problems, all of your mistakes. And could use them to hurt you. That was what it truly meant to be in a relationship, that’s what you found out today. Making yourself vulnerable.
Ryota used all of your small insecurities in this ugly break-up, without feeling the slightest bit of remorse at all the wrongs he did, not apologizing for his infidelity and pushing all of the fault somehow on you.
More tears fell, more sobs crawled out of your throat. Staggering, you leaned against the next best wall, one arm hiding your crying face from the world, the other shoring your swaying body from falling. Ryota’s ugly words echoed in your head, circled like on a terrible roundabout. Prude. Boring. Vanilla. Pitiful. Prude. Boring. Vanilla. Pitiful. Prude, boring, vanilla, pitiful. All of these and none, none and all of them.
“Vanilla,” you sobbed, spluttered the syllables into your palm while tears clouded your vision, “Vanilla. So stupid. Such a stupid, stupid, dumb word for such a fucked-up thing to say to another person. Right into my face. Asshole, this fucking asshole-!” With a little cry, you slammed your free hand into the wall. Pain flashed through your bones and a particular broken sob, pain and sorrow mixed together in a single sound, escaped. The pain… The pain helped. Strangely enough. Again, you hit the wall. New flashes bloomed, raced through your weakly curled fingers. More pain, more electrical flashes through your system. It made crying easier, an excuse to cry instead of wearing your broken and shattered heart on your sleeve.
You probably would’ve continued to hit your hand raw on the stone wall, if not for the gentle voice erupting in your back. So unlike Ryota’s hateful words that you instinctively fell silent, mesmerized and wary at the same time.
“Hey, uhm… Are you alright? Do you need some help?”
Sobbing and heaving, you shook your head. Snot was clearly running out of your nose, your face must be an ugly, reddened mess currently, your hair was a bird’s nest and your clothes were only barely appropriate for a good back alley-crying session in the middle of the night. Then, a clearing thought struck through your brain.
What if he tries to mug me? A thief, maybe?
Quickly, you tried to blink at the man leaning in from your right. His mere silhouette was massive, muscled and clearly trained, as far as you could tell by the weak light from the streetlamp and your own blurred vision. You couldn’t even clearly see his features nor identify any kind of striking details on his clothing.
You glanced again at him, sniffling and still sobbing weakly. Brown hair. At least that you could make out. Brown, shaggy hair, and the intense scent of some kind of earthy shampoo.
“Are you sure?” the man asked again. Worry laced his voice and he shuffled around a bit, shoes ruffling over the pavement of the street. “I… Listen, I won’t lie here. I kind of heard some of the discussion with… with the guy you were with and I just wanted to check if you were alright. What he said was definitely uncalled for.”
At the mild way of putting Ryota’s insult into words, you actually snorted weakly. “Uncalled,” you mumbled and sniffled once more, “Yeah. It was fucking uncalled for. Vanilla. Boring. Ass wipe.”
“Absolutely,” the stranger who you liked with every second more and more straightened, “He was a total douchebag. I’m sorry you had to go through this.”
Once more, you wiped with the back of your hand over your watering eyes. “Thanks. Do you… Do you perhaps carry around some tissues?”
“Oh. Yeah, sure.” The man nestled shortly at the pocket of his jeans, before pulling out a slightly deranged package of tissues. “Sorry. I have nothing else with me.”
“Thank you, still.” With a weak nod, you accepted the tissues. Plastic crinkled loudly when you tried to get a single one out of the package, before warm fingers brushed gently against yours and took the tissues again out of your hands. Through swollen eyes, you watched dimly how the man also pulled a single tissue out of the package and handed it to you, teeth showing in a weak smile.
“Here,” he said and urged your fingers to close around the fabric, “And sorry for intruding like this. I can understand you would favor being alone right now.”
“Thanks.” You repeated. A little bit more and you would become a parrot. Quickly, you blew your nose, a loud and embarrassingly wet snort of snot and tears. Ugly and disgusting, without a doubt. Once, twice, you wiped with the used fabric over your nose, before stuffing the tissue into your own pocket.
The muffled music pounded in the background when you finally looked up and were able to see the features of your mysterious helper. A friendly face, clear structures, straight, manly nose, a strong jaw and warm, black eyes. Wisps of brown hair hung into his forehead, curled slightly around his ears and hung a little bit too long into his neck. Just the tiniest bit.
He smiled again, eyes closed and the corners of his mouth curled. “Let me introduce myself, just that you don’t have to ask yourself who has the nerve to talk to you right now. My name is Yamato.”
A hand was stretched towards you. It was sheer automatism that you took it and returned the warm, gentle pressure of his strong hand. “(Y/N).”
“A nice name.”
Yamato gestured towards your bare arms, only partly covered by the t-shirt you wore. “Did you forget your jacket inside the club?”
Involuntarily, you shuddered. Yes, you forgot. In between getting ridiculed by Ryota and the anger manifesting in your stomach, it slipped from your mind. Full of struggling resistance, you looked into the direction where you came from. Only a few meters, down the stairs and into the entrance area of the underground club again to get your jacket. Nothing else, not a long way at all.
But the chance of seeing Ryota flirt again with another, even sluttier woman than before seemed pretty high. “Seems I have to give the jacket up for now.” Sadly, you smiled briefly at Yamato, all the while nodding into the direction of the club. There was no way in hell you would get back in there tonight. Maybe tomorrow, you could come back after work and ask if they still had it or not.
But to your immense surprise, Yamato again stretched his hand out, the palm facing the dark night sky. “If you don’t mind, I can get your jacket.”
“Really, that is nice of you, but…”
“No buts. I wouldn’t feel comfortable, knowing you would freeze. The night gets pretty chilly.” Again, his fingers twitched, waiting for the token you received when handing your jacket to the guy behind the counter. “Just five minutes. I won’t steal your jacket, promise.”
Should you trust him? This Yamato-guy was a stranger after all.
A stranger who handed me a tissue. Who asked me if I was alright. Who cared enough to not only stop and stare, but stop and be sympathetic.
Still, your motions were hesitant when you reached into your bag, scrambled for the small plastic chip and finally handed it to the stranger, who seemed relieved you accepted his small gesture of kindness.
“Alright, just wait right here, okay? I’ll be right back!” His black eyes searched for yours, holding them for a moment, before smiling gently.
You nodded and slung your arms around yourself. Slowly, the chill Yamato talked about started to settle in your bones. Goosebumps peppered your arms and the next breeze ruffling through your air made your teeth tatter. Great night, really.
Still weakly sniffling, you watched Yamato’s back disappearing in the entrance of the underground club. He was an easy fellow to follow, stature unmistakable (broad, wide, obviously trained) and clothing distinctive enough for your swollen eyes. Jeans, well-worn and apparently also well loved, and a plaid shirt showing off the white tee underneath. The sleeves were rolled up, revealing the just as trained forearms and big hands. So unlike the small, nimble hands of Ryota.
Ryota cheated on me. Fuck… What…? What do I do now?
You stared mindlessly ahead. Yeah, what was going to happen now? Of course, you had to clean out your apartment of every small piece of the man. Every jeans you could find, the toothbrush on your sink, the worn-out and kind of smelly boots lounging on top of your shoes in the entrance area, the dirty laundry in the hamper, his favorite food in the fridge you couldn’t stand at all, but kept making because he once mentioned to like it…
All the stuff a break-up brought along. An avalanche of duties, of cleaning up and cleaning out. Which would certainly be not as easy as it sounded.
Quickly, you wiped your hands over your face. The palms of your hands pressed into your closed eyes, enveloping you in the gentle darkness. It was just so hard to believe it was over. Sure, you didn’t think Ryota was someone to settle down and marry or even man enough to move together into one apartment, too busy acting like a teenager in the body of a 25-year old, but… But at least, you thought he had some human decency and that he loved you. After all, he said that.
Lies. Lies, all of them lies. Lies on top of more lies.
New tears burned in your eyes. Shaking your head, you pressed your hands with more strength against your face, hoping the renewed sobs were muffled in your own flesh. It just seemed so… So unreal, so illusional and nightmarish that it couldn’t possibly real, right?
Steps echoed through the air and when you quickly dropped your hands, you spotted the Yamato-guy again, where in his hands was your light jacket. “Hey,” he said and smiled gently, “Here I am.”
“There you are.”
You desperately hoped he wouldn’t see the new tears glimmering in your eyes and even if he did, that Yamato wouldn’t mention them. With a determined swipe, you rubbed your forearm over your face, before accepting your own jacket. “Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“No problem at all.”
The fabric reeked of sweat and smoke, and mentally, you made the note of throwing the damn thing right into the laundry when you reached your flat.
Yamato coughed, like he wanted to catch your undivided attention. “Uhm… So, (Y/N)… What do you want to do now?”
“Except for crying myself to sleep?” Only mere moments later you noticed what you actually said out loud. A gasp escaped, before you slapped a hand over your too quick mouth, all the while Yamato’s eyebrows wandered higher and higher. “Oh gosh, I’m so sorry. That’s really not… I shouldn’t…” You breathed deeply in. “It was a long day.”
Yamato’s chuckle erased most of the awkwardness, thankfully. “I can only imagine. If you don’t mind, may I suggest something?”
You snorted helplessly. “Well, you already saw me breaking down and being broken up with. There isn’t much left to intrude, don’t you think?”
“Certainly not. But I figured it would be at least kind to ask beforehand.” Again, Yamato fiddled with the edge of one of his pockets, only to tug out a slightly damaged business card out of his jeans. His hand brushed again against yours when he handed you the warmed-up paper, before closing your fingers around it. “If you want, if you need someone to talk to, if you want to rant or if you just need a warm drink, then come to this address.”
In the dim light of the streetlamp, you nearly weren’t able to figure out what the business card was about. Only when you raised the card right in front of your eyes and squinted them, you could decipher the words “Forest Cat Café”. Right beside the name the sterilized image of a Fortune cat in different shades of green could be seen.
“A café,” Yamato said when you looked up to him, blinking in mild confusion, “I spend most of my time there. It’s just an offer, you don’t have to come by. But if you do, I can certainly show you that vanilla isn’t boring at all. The ingredient, of course.”
“Of course.” You echoed. Then, with trembling fingers, you shoved the business card into your jeans and slipped into one of your jackets’ sleeve, all the while trying to juggle your bag around without letting it touch the ground. “I will think about it. Thank you yet again, Yamato. I really appreciate your help tonight.”
When you turned around, hollow and feeling all in all just terrible, you already forgot about the business card and the strange offer to show you “that vanilla wasn’t boring”. The only thing you wanted was to get home as fast as possible, get into the bathtub and run a hot bath, all the while crying a bit more about the shitty situation. Then, you just wanted to crawl into your bed and cry a bit more and ultimately, yourself to sleep.
Only when you slipped out of your jeans and heard the papery sound of something falling onto the tiles of the bathroom, you remembered the offer and the nice man alongside it. With shaky fingers, you picked the business card up and flipped it around, inspecting the contact information under the bright light of the bathroom.
The address was surprisingly not too far away from your own place. An email, phone number, Facebook-page and Twitter-address were also displayed, but not the name of the owner.
“Forest Cat Café… What a name.”
With a shrug, you placed the business card on a nearby cupboard, only to gently lower yourself into the inviting heat of the water. Your face felt like it was heavily swollen from all the crying, your throat was clogged up by all the clashing feelings bottled up inside and when you dove beneath the surface, the air burning in your lungs, you could nearly feel the last remains of tears getting lost in the water.
Ryota cheated on me. Broke up with me. Called me boring. Without an ounce of regret, he walked away after hurting me so badly that I can barely breathe.
When you resurfaced, new tears immediately burned in your eyes. Even though you knew the feelings to him had cooled off, even though you hadn’t loved him as strongly as at the start of your relationship anymore, the art of how he broke it off hurt more than anything else. Like you weren’t even worth a few nice words and a proper talk before he went off to fuck the next next-best girl. And that he was cheating for so long, lied into your face, all the while having all kinds of sexual fun behind your back, while you thought nothing of his many, many band practices and parties he went to with all of his colleagues and friends.
The realization hurt. Hurt more than you ever imagined. Hurt like someone punched you in the stomach, hurt like a hole in your chest, hurt, hurt, hurt. You choked, stifled sobs wrecking through your body. The water splashed around as you trembled, curling yourself into a ball and letting go of your inhibitions of not crying again over Ryota.
It hurt. It hurt so much. Crying, you laid in the bathtub, muffling your own pitiful sobs over a man who wasn’t worth even one of your tears in your hands, while the water cooled slowly with the passing of time.
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Women of SVU - Day 3 “It was always you”
(Casey Novak x Reader)
“I’m not so sure about that”, Kat said and you frowned at her.
“What do you mean you’re not sure?! She’s hot!”, you exclaimed and Rollins laughed while Kat gave you a raised eyebrow.
“Well if you think she’s so hot, why don’t you ask her out instead?” You raised your hands in defeat and sat back in your chair. An hour went by and before you knew it, it was lunch time.
You got up from your chair and Kat and Rollins turned to you. “Meeting someone special for lunch?”, Kat asked and both she and Rollins noticed the way your cheeks heated up.
“Just my mom”, you said rolling your eyes, but Kat nodded with a smile. You said your goodbye, making your handshake with Kat before turning around and immediately felt yourself freeze as you met green ones. You would recognize those eyes everywhere.
The redhead stood still as well, if not more than you, looking back into your eyes. She could definitely see the difference within you. You were taller and more muscular than last time she saw you. You were now actually taller than her. She immediately noticed the scars on your face, the big one by your eye. She unconsciously brought her hand to your face and caressed the scar gently.
“Y/N...”, she whispered and you felt your heart beat faster at the sound of her voice as she spoke your name. You took a step back clearing your throat which made Casey’s hand fall from your cheek. You could see the hurt in her eyes and decided to ignore it. Or tried to at least.
Rollins and Kat’s eyes met and they both wondered the same thing. What’s happening?
“What are you doing here?”, you couldn’t help but ask and both you, Casey and Kat noticed how harsh you actually sounded and you immediately regretted it.
“I... I-I work here”, Casey answered before you could apologize and you furrowed your eyebrows. “I’m your new A.D.A.”
Both Kat and Rollins widened their eyes while you nodded as you kept looking into her beautiful green eyes that once had every ounce of control of you.
“I need to go”, you suddenly said and left the precinct. Casey turned around and watched you leave, feeling herself break all over again.
“Casey?” The redhead turned and met Liv’s eyes as she came walking towards her. “Everything alright?”
Casey sighed nodding, drying a tear away from her cheek. “I’m fine. You got a victim?”, she asked getting right back to work, and Liv nodded, respecting the counselors privacy. She nodded towards her office and they walked in leaving Rollins and Kat to their thoughts.
As son as the door closed, Rollins turned to Kat. “Hundred bucks they were dating”, she said holding out her hand and Kat laughed shaking her head.
“You know for once I agree with you. They were definitely dating”, she said agreeing and Rollins sighed looking towards the office as the other detective spoke. “Is she a good A.D.A.?”
“I didn’t work with her that much, but she has the highest conviction rate of all of the A.D.A.’s we’ve had”, Rollins answered her and Kat furrowed her eyebrows.
“Really? Higher than Barba?”
“How much?”, Kat asked curiously and Rollins shrugged.
“I don’t know, 71 or 72 percent or something”
Kat widened her eyes at the number and Rollins nodded in confirmation. Kat sat back in her chair and watched the woman in the office with impressed eyes. “Damn”
You walked inside the restaurant and immediately discovered your mother sitting by your usual seat, looking at her phone. She noticed you and gave you a soft smile as she instantly put her phone down and stood from her seat. She immediately hugged you tight and you sighed into the hug. “Hey sweetheart”
You sighed into the hug and let your mother comfort you. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine mom”, you said trying to convince her but she was your mother. An further more, she was a judge. She could easily see when you were lying. She could see when everyone was lying. But so could you to be fair. It was a Donnelly superpower as some people called it. Some people being Rollins.
“Sweetheart. What’s going on?”
You sighed sitting down, knowing you couldn’t keep anything from her. “Casey is back”, you whispered and Elizabeth sighed looking down. And that. That look right there. You knew. “You knew”
She nodded. “She called me yesterday”
“Why didn’t you tell me?!”
Elizabeth could see the anger rising in you and she held out her hand towards you. “Honey please let me explain” You sighed and nodded. “I didn’t tell you because I knew how you would react. What happened wasn’t her fau–“
“Wasn’t it?”, you asked and your mother sighed giving you a look. “She left. Remember? She left me”
“You don’t know what she went through sweetheart”, she tried reasoning with you.
“And you do?”
Again she kept quiet and you widened your eyes in disbelief. After all this time, she knew. “She told you why she left?”, you asked, softness in your eyes and your mother sighed. “Why? Why did she leave?”
“Honey it’s not my place to tell. You have to ask Casey”
You groaned and looked away. Elizabeth looked down at her fingers for a moment before turning back to you. “I don’t want to waste my lunch time nor yours on fighting. Can’t we just enjoy lunch together like we normally do?”, she asked and you nodded taking the menu card.
“Fine. But you’re paying this time”, you said and Elizabeth couldn’t help but smile. She could recognize the stubbornness in you. You got it from her and she loved you for it.
You used to use it against her so much back when you were little. Sometimes you would even discuss bedtime with her, reasoning with her like any lawyer would. Object to unfair situations and used your dog as witness, questioning him.
Elizabeth had been certain you were gonna become a lawyer and it surprised her when you told her you had gotten into the police academy. But nonetheless she was proud of you.
And she knew you could become lawyer the moment you made that choice and made the call. One call and she could get you into the DA’s office without question.
“How was she? How did she look?”, Elizabeth eventually asked and you met her eyes and sighed deep closing your eyes as you admitted to yourself.
“She looked so good mom”, you whispered. “So toned and... mature. Like she was a completely different person, but still held Casey’s gestures”
Elizabeth sighed and placed her hand on yours making you look up, meeting her eyes. “Do you still love her?”
You nodded without hesitation. You knew it the moment you saw her in the squad room. You loved her more than anything. “Tell her”, you heard your mother say and you met her eyes once more, feeling yourself become vulnerable to the fact that she knew. She knew how you felt about Casey.
You sighed deciding against your own decision and speak. You couldn’t. You shouldn’t. Everything was going so well. After so long, you had finally settled down and for the first time in forever, you felt yourself being happy.
You didn’t need love. You didn’t need anyone to come home to. You were fully capable of living alone and you enjoyed it. You didn’t have anyone to discuss what to eat for dinner. You could choose that for yourself and no one was going to be there to comment on your extra sauce on top of your pizza.
You had concluded with yourself that you didn’t need anyone. You loved fine on your own and that wasn’t about to change.
“Am I part of that little world you’re creating in that tiny head of yours?”, you suddenly heard your mother ask and you looked up from your fidget fingers looking at her. You saw a small smirk on her lips and couldn’t stop the small chuckle from escaping you.
Casey sat in her office a few days later, looking over a file for a case when there was a knock on her door. She invited the person in and met the eyes of Elizabeth Donnelly. “Elizabeth”, she said as she stood from her seat.
“Oh sit for heaven’s sake Casey”, she said and Casey pressed her lips together in a thin line as she sat back down slowly.
“I see you haven’t changed much” Elizabeth smirked at the ginger’s comment and placed her purse on the chair as she leaned against it, her fingers firmly pressed into chair’s back.
“Neither have you. Y/N told me you saw each other earlier”, she said and Casey sighed looking down at her papers and Elizabeth could instantly see that the meeting had been hard for the both of you.
“Yeah it was... weird. Seeing her again”, Casey sighed and Elizabeth smiled at her. She walked around the chair and sat down, crossing her legs. Casey couldn’t help but think of you in that moment. You and your mother were so alike it was insane. You had her eyes and her cheekbones. She had never seen a mother and a daughter look so much alike. Sometimes it was pretty overwhelming for her, seeing her boss in you, but at the same time she loved your eyes more than anything.
One of the many reasons she admired Elizabeth. And one of the reasons she fell for you in the first place.
You had met at one of your mother’s parties at the DA’s office. Casey had just started with the SVU and you had just gotten out of the academy. Your mother had forced you to come, feeling pity over the fact that you lived alone and didn’t have any friends you saw on a regular basis. Other than your coworkers that is.
You had declined for several days up the party before your mother had forced you along, promising to give you the house at the Hampton’s for a week.
Casey had instantly known you were Elizabeth’s daughter the moment she saw you. It was clear like the sunny day on a Saturday in mid June. She had instantly fallen for your eyes, but had held herself back, because again. You were Elizabeth Donnelly’s daughter. And no one messed with Elizabeth Donnelly’s daughter, let alone looked at you.
You had immediately taken an interest, having yourself falling for her the moment you eyes landed on her. And you told your mother. The moment you could. And you told her you wanted Casey, no matter what she thought about it.
Elizabeth had been reluctant at first, feeling her overprotectiveness taking over, but she had held herself back and watched as you and Casey immediately hit it off. She could see the flirtation in your eyes and, much to her dismay at the time, the horny-ness in Casey’s.
By the end of the night she discovered you and Casey sharing a kiss by the bar and she had had to downed a full glass of scotch to hold herself back from pulling you away from each other.
“She said the same”, Elizabeth eventually said coming back to the present time and brought Casey back from her own thoughts. The red head looked up at the woman and gave a soft smile.
Du har sendt I dag kl. 15.48
Suddenly there was a knock on her office door Casey furrowed her eyebrows before inviting the person in. You immediately opened the door and froze as you saw your mother.
“Mom? What are you doing here?”, you asked with a frown, but it didn’t stop you from giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.
“Can’t I speak with my employees anymore?”, she asked and you raised an eyebrow at her.
“You’re retired mom, remember?”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes making Casey smile. She missed watching the two of you going back and forward with each other. “What do you got?”, Casey asked deciding to change the subject and you turned at her.
“Right, Sofia has just been released from Mercy and is on her way to the precinct as we speak”
“What’s your case about?”, Elizabeth asked with curiosity practically jumping in her eyes and you turned to her, eyes serious.
“Mom you know I can’t tell you” Elizabeth’s eyes immediately hardened and you let out a chuckle before giving her the file, her eyes keeping boring into yours as she took the file before looking into it. Casey chuckled as well and your eyes met, immediately feeling yourself heating up in your cheeks.
“Suspicion of sexual abuse in a Mexican family”, Casey decided to answer clearing her throat and Elizabeth read it through as you continued. “The teacher of the youngest girl, Sofia Rivera, noticed bruising on the girl’s arms and neck after one weekend”
“How many children do this family have?”, Elizabeth asked looking up briefly to meet your eyes.
“Six. Sofia is the youngest, next is Hector he’s seven. Then comes Luis and Luciana, twins, both ten years old. And Mateo fifteen and eighteen year old Diego”
Elizabeth nodded and placed the file down as she received the file of all the family members from Casey. “The parents, Eduardo and Adriana Fernández”, Casey introduced pointing at the them in the file with her pen.
“Any priors for the father?”
“So far we haven’t been able to find anything on him. But I don’t think it’s him”, you decided to answer and both women turned to you.
You turned to Casey and shook your head, placing your hand in your pocket. “No. The father is a well known pastor in the town. Everybody knows him and he loves his job”
“That hardly makes him innocent sweetie”, your mother said and you sighed giving her a look. “We’ve seen pastors be found guilty for sexual assault multiple times over the years, not to mention high ranked officers, judges, senators–“
“I get your point mom. Men of high rank likes to use their power to sexually harass women”
Casey sighed looking down. You were right. She had seen it only too many times while being at SVU. It was horrific how many men abused their power of rank in order to get off.
“But in this case I doubt the father did it. I think it’s Diego”, you said pointing at the boy’s picture in the file.
“The eighteen year old brother? Why do you think that?”, Casey asked furrowing her eyebrows and you turned to her with a smirk.
“Because he was reported for sexual harassment last year. One of his classmates reported him to the school’s council, but later on recanted”
“She was paid off?”, Elizabeth decided to ask and you turned to her with a shake of your head.
“I don’t know. But I would love to get a warrant for Diego’s DNA”, you said with a smile turning to Casey once more. The redhead immediately felt herself fall for you all over again as you gave her your smile. She absolutely loved your smile. Especially when it was motioned towards her.
“I’ll talk to judge Petrovsky. She has a soft spot for you”, she said standing from her seat and you chuckled while Elizabeth frowned at that.
“What? Lena has a soft spot for you?”
“What can I say mom? I’m just a charming girl with everyone wrapped around her finger”, you said making Casey chuckle. You leaned down and kissed your mother’s cheek before turning to the redhead. “I gotta get back to the precinct. Call me when you have that warrant”
Casey nodded, but felt herself freeze as you squeezed her upper arm before leaving the office. The two women followed you with their eyes as you left and Elizabeth turned back to Casey. She noticed the soft linger in her eyes and smiled softly. “You still love her”
Casey sighed and cleared her throat. “Yes, but it doesn’t matter. She will never forgive me for leaving”, she said starting to pack her bag.
“She doesn’t know the full story”
“I left her Liz! I was gone for almost ten years”
Elizabeth could see the anger in the lawyers eyes. The anger on herself for hurting you. The regret of leaving you behind.
“You didn’t have a choice Casey”, Elizabeth reminded her and the redhead sighed.
The silence fell over them, the only sound in the office being the clock’s ticking as it hang on the wall behind them. “Tell her. Tell her everything”, Elizabeth said and before Casey could say anything in return, the woman was out of the door and the A.D.A. was once again alone in her office.
A few days later the DNA results were back and you discovered it wasn’t Diego who had been assaulting Sofia. It was the fifteen year old brother Mateo.
You currently stood by the two way mirror with Olivia and Amanda, watching Casey sitting in the interrogation room with Mateo and his mother along with his attorney, trying to make a deal.
It took a while but once they were done done, Casey walked out of the room and her eyes instantly met yours despite the two others looking at her as well.
“Nicely done. He got what he deserved”, you said and Casey gave you a soft smile.
“Thanks. I’m just hoping he will get better”, she said before turning to Olivia. “I’m gonna go and see if I can get a warrant for your ice cream guy”, she said and Olivia smiled nodding.
The two others left and you stood left with Casey in the hallway. Casey turned to you and felt herself getting nervous. But she knew she had to tell you. You deserved to know the truth.
“Can we uh... can we talk? Somewhere private?”, she asked in a soft whisper and you stared into her green eyes for a moment before nodding.
“Sure uh... let me go grab my jacket and we can leave”, you said and Casey nodded. You took your jacket from your seat by your desk and instantly met Kat’s eyes.
“Where are you going?”, she asked and you cleared your throat.
“Just gonna get some coffee”, you said before walking towards the exit were Casey stood. You walked to the elevator and got in.
“Y/N I owe you an apology”, she started out the moment the doors were closed and you turned to her, already noticing tears forming in her eyes. “I hurt you. Deeply. And I wish I could say I regret it but I don’t”
You furrowed your eyebrows and the doors to the elevator opened as you reached the ground floor and you walked out. You immediately pulled her into one of the bathrooms and closed the door behind her. “Why? Why don’t you regret it? You broke me Casey”
“I know ba– Y/N. I know”, she said and you both noticed the slip. It was small but you both did and Casey felt herself crumble.
“It was the week you were shot. You were on leave to heal”, she started out and you remembered back, your hand unconsciously went to your right side of your stomach, feeling the scar through your t-shirt. Casey noticed and it took all of her willpower not to place her hand on top of yours.
“A senator was being accused of leading a sex trafficking ring. I got too close”, she whispered, tears falling fast down her cheeks.
“You were hurt and incapable of defending yourself. They threatened to kill you if I didn’t do it. If I didn’t leave”
You stood with shock in your eyes. She didn’t leave because she didn’t love you anymore. “They blackmailed me with photos of you. Several. Some were old but a couple of them were from you sitting in our apartment, your stomach covered in bandages. They could kill you anytime they wanted and threatened to do it if I didn’t drop the case and left the city. They wanted me gone for good”, she finished crying hard and you immediately pulled her into your arms.
You felt your heart break despite it being ten years ago. You still loved her after all this time. “I never stopped loving you Jay... never”, she said pulling back from your hug and met your eyes. “I could never find anyone either. It was always you”
You covered her cheek with your palm and leaned up kissing her forehead. “It’s okay”, you whispered into her ear as she laid her head on your shoulder, your hand soothed her on her back gently. “It’s okay take a deep breath”
You felt her relax against you, her breaths slowly becoming even again. “That’s it”, you whispered and she sighed pulling back to meet your eyes once more.
“I’m so sorry babe”, she whispered and this time she said it fully making your entire body shake. It had been so long since she called you that. And oh how you’ve missed it. You suddenly heard your phone ring and you sighed pulling it out from your pocket.
“It’s Liv. I gotta take it”, you whispered and met her eyes.
“Yeah yeah sure”
You answered it and they had gotten a call about a new girl who had just come forward. You spend the rest of the day on the case, trying to get the girl to tell who it was and to find DNA match for the boys.
By the end of the day, you decided to go home and you immediately pulled out a beer from your fridge and opened it as you went to the couch. You turned on the tv and found the sports channel, seeing your favorite baseball team New York Yankees playing against Pittsburg Pirates.
“Sweet god finally some peace”, you whispered to yourself and watched the game to yourself. Not even five second later though, there was a knock on your door and you frowned and walked over to the door.
You opened it and discovered Casey on the other side. “Case?”
You sighed and stepped to the side, letting her in. “Hey the Yankees are playing”, she said discovering the tv and you chuckled closing the door behind her.
“Yeah the game just started. Go sit, I’ll get you a beer”
She nodded and did as you told, sitting on the right side of the couch. Out of pure instinct she took the beer on the table and took a swig. You came with another beer in your hand but stopped short as you noticed your own beer by her lips already practically empty.
You couldn’t stop the chuckle from leaving your lips and shook your head. “I’ll get another one”
She blushed hard and placed the now empty bottle on the table before turning back to the game. You came back with two beers and placed them on the table before sitting on the left side of the couch. “So”, you started out turning to Casey and the woman turned back to you.
“So”, she repeated and you stared into her eyes. You wanted to say something. Something from earlier, but what? What could you say? She had told you everything. Why she left you, why she broke your heart. Everything. “I’m sorry I came unannounced, I can leave if–“
“No it’s okay”, you instantly stopped her placing your hand on hers. She looked down your joined hands and felt herself stop breathing. It was all so much.
“Okay”, she whispered and sat back down, now closer to you. You noticed the closeness and smiled softly. You decided to turn your attention to the game and opened both beers, giving Casey one of them.
“Don’t drink it too fast. I only have three left”, you said and she let out a chuckle shaking her head. She took a small sip and watched as you did the same. She wanted nothing more than to taste the beer off your lips instead of the bottle, but she restrained herself. She wanted to give you time. Time to figure things out.
She hoped you wanted to try again. She loved you more than anything and she couldn’t bare the thought of not having you. And the thought of someone else having you? She couldn’t even begin to think what she would do if someone else got the chance.
“Casey?” The redhead shook her head gently as she came back to the present and she met your worried eyes. “You okay?”, you asked softly placing your hand on her hers and she nodded.
“Yeah. Yeah I’m good. I just... just watching the game”
You eyed her for a moment before nodding and you gave her hand a squeeze before turning back to the game as well. You sat in silence watching it for a few moments, both of you bickering here and there as the Yankees didn’t do a good job.
“What the fuck was that?!”, Casey almost yelled as she watched the best swinger play a foul ball. You laughed at the redhead’s reaction and she turned to you. “What are you laughing at?”
You shook your head, laughing too hard to answer verbally and Casey felt herself getting brave. “Huh? What are you laughing at?”
Before you could react, she was on top of you, tickling your sides, suddenly remembering how ticklish you were those placed and you laughed harder.
“You think you can just laugh at me like that?”, she laughed as well tickling you even faster.
“Casey stop. I ca–“, you stopped mid-sentence, the sensation too intense. “I can’t breathe”, you managed to slip out and Casey felt sorry for you and stopped. You looked up and let out a long breath before turning back to her, suddenly noticing how close your faces were.
You held your breaths as you looked into each other’s eyes, your faces moving closer to the others. You could feel her breath against your mouth and you felt your heart beat a million times faster.
You could easily read the silent question in Casey’s eyes and you nodded letting her know your answer. The moment she got the message, she leaned down the remaining distance and let your lips meet in a soft kiss.
You immediately covered her cheek with your palm and pulled her impossibly closer, the kiss turning deep quickly. You moved upwards, Casey following you through and you began helping her getting rid of her blazer, throwing it behind the couch before opening her shirt.
Getting impatient, you ripped the shirt open and heard the buttons fly everywhere. None of you cared and simply continued undressing. You quickly moved your legs beneath her and made her move her legs so she was straddling your lap. You stood from the couch and carried her to your bedroom, not even bothering to close the door behind you.
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