#reader giving barbs the gun for the meme

[chocoenvy]

Honestly I would just like this to happen (just for a little bit of comedy in this angst fueled AU):

Reader doesn’t have any vision or powers when they arrive to Teyvat, but they DO have a physical damage catalyst, also known as

Gun :)

What is best is that, since the Ruin Guards and all the machine family are basically weapons, they must know how to create bullets (like the rockets they have or even the same bullets the Ruin Hunters use), so Reader has unlimited amount of ammo :)

Platonic kisses from Kitty Anon!

THIS.

I was going to have the reader be a mega crackhead, threatening people and shit but I'm American, I've been shooting guns since I was a wee child. My father beat gun safety rules into my brain and they all came flooding back. So reader is responsible in this because we love a not-gun-crazy American.

(sending platonic kisses back <3)

Warnings: Mentions of guns/firing guns, cult behaviors, mention of a car accident, excessive cussing

When you had died in a car accident, you hadn't expected to wake up in Genshin the fucking mobile game. You especially hadn't expected your handgun to still be attached to your hip.

"Isn't this a children's game?" You muttered to yourself, "Well," You scoffed, "Supposed to be a children's game."

You glanced around to see that you were in Windrise. You stood up and stretched your limbs. They seemed to remember the impact you had during the car accident as your limbs were hella sore.

"Guess I should go to Mondstat?" You muttered, already headed there, "I mean, what else is there to do?"

You trudged along, every time you took a step a shock of pain traversed through your leg. It wasn't that bad, just constant dull pain that made you annoyed at the entire world.

At least I don't have the full wounds, You shuddered at the memory of your legs barely hanging onto your body but shook it away.

As you entered Mondstat's gates, practically limping with how much your legs hurt, there were a few gasps as you entered.

You ignored them, assuming you just looked like shit after literally dying. But then Donna started shouting to get the knights of Favonius.

"Wow, okay," You glared straight at her, "I get that I look like shit but stick to talking about Diluc and let me go about my day."

She gasped at what you said and immediately... knelt? Odd, why is she kneeling-?

"Your grace!" A green twink nearly tackled you to the ground, his arms wrapped around your neck in a hug.

"My god Venti!" You barely kept yourself and him standing, "Some warning would be nice!"

His eyes widened and a large grin split his face, "Welcome to Mondstat your grace!"

He was practically buzzing with happiness. But you raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Why are you calling me your grace?"

"Huh?" Venti blinked, his smile turning strained and matched your confusion, "What do you mean? You're our god! We can tell by your clothes, your looks, and your aura!"

"Uh... what? I'm not your god." You deadpanned, "Don't you think I'd know if I was a god?"

"But you created Teyvat! And you knew my name!" He whispered the last part, "And the fact that all Donna talks about is Diluc."

"Yeah but isn't that widely accessible knowledge?" You frowned.

"Not for an outsider! Plus, that thing at your belt!" He pointed to your firearm, "I've never seen anything like it! Surely it's because of your godly status!"

"Look-" You tried to explain but were cut off by the Knights of Favonius running your way.

Jean, Kaeya, and Albedo were on you in seconds.

“Your grace!” They shouted the same title Venti had.

The three bowed before you, Jean said, “It’s an honor to be in your presence, your grace.”

“Ah- please don’t bow,” You waved your hands frantically, “There’s no need, I’m not this god you’re talking about-” “Of course you are!” Kaeya immediately shouted back, “I can feel it, you’re our god!”

Venti nodded, “The wind bends to your will, it whispers to me it’s care for you. Teyvat loves you, your grace!” Venti smiled so brightly that you were almost convinced of it yourself.

You huffed, “You sure you haven’t just had too many drinks tone-deaf bard?”

“Wha- Hey!” Venti pouted, “Not you too, your grace. And I can tell what the wind says whether I’m sober or not!”

“You? Sober?” You giggled.

A light pink dusted Venti’s cheeks at your giggle, “Morax and the Raiden Shogun would agree with me! I’ll travel all the way to Liyue, Inazuma and back if I have to.”

All of a sudden you noticed how close Albedo had gotten and that his gaze had traveled to your waist. “Albedo- oh!” You moved away, “Were you looking at this?” You pointed to your gun.

He nodded, “What is it? I’ve never seen anything like it.” His aquamarine eyes swam with curiosity.

“Well, it’s called a gun and you should never touch it.” You responded, the gun safety rules your father imprinted in your brain coming back to haunt you.

“A gun?” Albedo echoed, “Why shouldn’t I touch it? Does it contain too much elemental energy?” He tilted his head.

You hummed, mulling over the right way to put it, “It’s the opposite. There’s a lot of safety precautions behind it, but if you know how to work it and get all of the safeguards off then it does a lot of physical damage.”

“Physical damage?” Albedo hummed, “I’ve never heard anything of the sort…”

You nodded, “My world is a lot different from this one so we relied heavily on guns and physical damage.”

“I see…” Albedo hummed, “This is interesting. May we see a demonstration of the physical damage this gun does?”

You laughed, deadass laughed, “Not in here. We need to go out somewhere in the wild where no one’s at. I don’t wanna frighten or hurt anyone. Not to mention it’s kinda loud.”

Albedo was all too excited to see how the gun worked so he immediately led you outside of Mondstat to somewhere no citizens should be. Venti, Jean, and Kaeya also following you like curious ducklings.

“Stay behind me.” You ordered them, “Whatever you do, do not get close to me unless I put it away okay? This thing could take your head off if I’m not careful.”

“Yes, your grace!” They answered.

You sighed, “Don’t call me that…” They didn’t listen.

“Okay, look at that tree.” You pointed at a tree in the distance, “I’m going to be aiming for that.”

You got your gun out, it was already loaded with some bullets. You turned off the safety, prepped the gun and aimed. You kept your eyes trained on the tree, and pulled the trigger.

The bullet flew for the tree and hit it square on. You immediately turned the safety back on and thank god you did because the fucking idiot Venti jumped on you for a hug.

“Goddammit Venti!” You shouted, keeping the gun faced towards the ground just in case, “I told you not to approach me until after I had put it up.” You put the gun in your belt again, glaring at Venti.

He pouted, “S-sorry your grace. I was just excited.”

You sighed, you couldn’t really blame him, you supposed it was your fault for not explaining it more, “Just don’t do that again. You saw how the bullet fucked that tree. I don’t want that to be you or someone else okay?”

Venti, despite your disappointed tone, was still grinning, slightly red at how you cared for him. “Okay your grace!”

“Bullets?” Albedo muttered.

You nodded and got out your pack of bullets, “These things. Ammunition for the gun and what impaled the tree.” You held a hand up to your chin in thought, “Actually… I think the ruin hunters use guns. Or at least uses bullets for their attacks.”

“So, you’re saying you have ancient technology from before the archons?” Albedo said.

“What- no-!”

“It’s just more proof,” Kaeya said with his stupid smug grin, “Of your divinity.”

You sighed, “My fucking god, I’m not your god, I merely come from a world with more technology and for some reason I got transported here after I died with my gun.”

“Protection.” Albedo suspected, “For you in this world. Your world. Why else would you come here after you died in that other world?”

“Here,” Kaeya said, holding out his hand, “I’ll settle your worries, your grace.” He smiled comfortingly as he pulled out a dagger.

You immediately put your hand on your gun but all he did was prick your finger.

Golden drops of blood dripped instead of the normal red you were used to.

“...what?” You muttered, baffled.

Kaeya grinned, “It is, you’re our god.” Venti hopped on his feet, grinning and hugging you tightly.

Your brain was flooding with confusion, but it didn’t seem as though you’d be getting out of godhood anytime soon.

#kitty anon #sagau #genshin cult au #genshin self aware #albedo wants a gun too #reader giving barbs the gun for the meme #physical catalyst: gun #gunning impact