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#reading a fic like this has been an experience

vivendraws · 3 days

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making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.

disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh

to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.

the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.

i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.

and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.

and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.

gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.

but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.

on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.

i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.

i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?

and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?

the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:

????????

are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.

and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.

i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.

that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.

before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘

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slushiepizza · 2 days

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Marie and Mother Mary

Relationship : Marie & Milo Greer

Tags : Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Partum Depression, Gender Roles, Catholicism, Motherhood, Italian American Marie Greer

Word Count : 1,510

ao3

Notes and Warnings:

this fic kind of surprised me because I'm not super into the Shaw Pack. But I do find Marie Greer's presence and bits and pieces we know of her character fascinating. I wanted to explore Marie's mind and feelings about being a mother when she's dealing with a gambling husband; and for her to raise someone like Milo Greer- she must've done a great job as a parent.

I took inspiration from my own experiences growing up with Catholicism and specifically in relation to the biblical Mary as a religious figure; and how mothers often find comfort in the thought of a figure who related in their struggles of motherhood and womanhood. It also has a theme of gender roles/ alluding to rigid gender identities because of the circumstances that Marie grew up in.

This fic isn't really... religious per se, and it takes more of a neutral standing while still criticizing how religion could be used to provoke feelings of personal guilt and trauma in someone who grew up in it, while also giving comfort to anyone that needed the universe to say that everything will be okay. If any of the themes may cause distress in you, I do implore you not read this fic, as consuming writing is a vulnerable activity.

The year was 1993. Marie Greer walked into the empty church lot with her baby in her arms. It had been decades since she last stepped on its stone floors. The security guard stationed outside looked at her strangely, but let her in once she asserted that she was there to pray.

She passed the main building for a small garden in the back. There were rows of wooden benches but nobody to be found. Good. Marie didn’t want company at the moment. To call it a garden was an overstatement- it was tiny and cramped, overgrown with vines. In front of the benches, the centerpiece of all the foliage was a statue of the Virgin Mary. Mother Mary, she thought, the double entendre not escaping her.

As soon as she sat down right in front of the statue- Milo wailed inconsolably like he always did.

The baby’s loud cries echoed disturbing whatever peace that was left from the place. Marie sighed, tired and weary, of this. He was an especially sensitive child, smaller than other babies his age. Marie was used to catering to people who’d fuss over the littlest things, Colm had a particular affinity for order and cleanliness whenever he came back from blowing his month’s earnings in a night, after all. The addition of Milo to the family just added more on her plate- she had to catalog every single one of his many allergies, and make sure that the room was never dusty because he’d have a coughing fit otherwise. The replacement of their popcorned ceiling had not been cheap, either, not with Colm leaving barely anything left after his trips to Vegas.

She did this all for love. For him. For her husband. But oftentimes, she felt like there was nothing left of her to give. Dry. Hollow.

She shushed Milo and lightly rocked him in hopes that he’d calm down but to no avail. He thrashed and turned, his nails accidentally scratched her in the arm. Marie winced and tried to soothe him, lightly patting his back. It took thirty minutes of rocking and soothing Milo until the baby went back to sleep.

St. Mary’s weathered ivory-colored face looked down at her, her expression blank and unmoving. Her lips were sculpted into a serene smile. Her pupil-less eyes gazed back at Marie.

Just like any other Italian-American family at the time, church was a routine for Marie growing up. Her mother would dress them in their Sunday’s best and wrangled her and her seven unruly siblings into the building. “Quit fussin’ your pigtails, Marie. I did that real pretty for you,” she’d chide. They’d sit in the back of the church because tardiness ran in that family’s blood like a curse.

Past the twelfth and thirteenth pews, God felt distant.

Marie would follow everything diligently. She stood up when everyone else stood up as the priest lifted the circular white wafer, the body of Christ, above the altar. As a child, her height wouldn’t allow her to catch a single glimpse of it. She’d comfort her younger siblings whenever they’d make a ruckus. But the whole thing- it went one ear out of the other.

She could’ve sworn she tried her best to listen and followed whatever the adults did.

I have greatly sinned, escaped past her lips as she did the same thing she had now, rocking her baby sister in her arms. At the time, she hadn’t even lost her milk teeth.

She stopped going when she married Colm. He was the opposite of the man her mother wanted her to marry, and in retrospect, she felt that it was one of the many reasons she liked him. His mind was raucous, his eyes wild and unmoored. Like nothing was holding him back. Colm used to be an ambitious man- the thrill of being an Investigator for DUMP perfect for his unrested soul.

Marie loved that part of him, the fact that he’d question everything, unbelieving in anything unproven.

He said that he wanted to purge the world of assholes- the unjust, those who hurt others for their own sake. As he turned in empowered criminals in the pursuit of it, he became one himself.

Marie met St.Mary’s gaze- almost challenging her hollow stare. Something surged through her, from the ache in her back settling to her tight diaphragm.

After the birth of her boy, Mary couldn’t cook or clean. All she did was stay in bed. Her sister came by to help take care of the house while Colm stepped outside as usual. She said that it was normal, her body had been through hell, after all. But the heavy feeling, the heaviness that settled in her chest persisted for the next two months.

Marie hated feeling helpless- her house a mess, and her baby cried constantly. She was a woman of action, and stagnation shackled her, leaving her trapped. Her visit to the psychiatrist- and the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual- had told her that it was depression with a postpartum onset. She told the doctor that she refused to accept that she was a ‘bozo who was sick in the head’ and that she will cure herself with a margarita and a sorely needed hair perm alongside a fresh coat of manicure.

And look where that got her. Crying in front of a statue in church.

She still stared at the other Mary, the statue’s size and height caused her to look like she was looking down on whoever prayed in the confined space, guiding them iin a time of need. With that, for once, Marie realized that she was angry.

She wasn’t stuck to her mattress, fatigued, and lacked energy because of sorrow- she was so angry, the weight of her job description as wife, mother, woman, wolf, dog, bitch- Marie weighed down on her like anchors. She was angry, at the fact that Colm was nowhere to be found throughout all this, angry at her mother- for making her a mother to her own siblings when she was barely a child, angry at the fact that she couldn’t even love her child properly because she no longer had any love left in the hollow of her heart.

The emotions had clawed the insides of her ribs and caused her to let out heavy breaths- she was a dog panting for air when there was none.

“When does it get easier,” she demanded to the Mother of all Mothers through gritted teeth. “Tell me, Mary,” she begged, desperate, as tears started to roll down her face. “Tell me!”

“When does being a mother ever get any easier?”

Her voice was a whisper, barely audible, as she started to sob and heave quietly.

A soft breeze blew past the branches of the trees that surrounded her. It moved the leaves and allowed them to move gently back and forth. The statue still looked down at her, hand slightly outstretched in a supposed kind, helpful gesture. Ants crawled from the crack in the marble, they moved past Mary’s dress down to the hem, circling around her exposed foot, past the head of the sneak that was crushed triumphantly under her toes.

Marie sank into her seat, tired. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, sniffling. Unbecoming of her, she thought. She’d rather die than let anyone see her like this. But there was a comfort between women, she supposed. Damage from rain stained Mary’s cheek like tears- not unlike the thick mascara that currently ran down her own. The air was comfortable, easy, and Marie felt light. It reminded her of the 80s. Of girls in the bathroom of the disco, talking someone out of calling their past lovers as they applied lipstick and passed cigarettes between one another.

“I guess,” she sniffed. “I guess you know better, right?” she stared into a picture that hung on a distant wall. In it, St. Mary cried as she held Jesus' dying body. “He didn’t give you a hell of a good time either,” her voice cracked pathetically.

Girl, tell me about it, Marie imagined the statue said. The Virgin Mary had the voice of her best friend in college. Is that not what being a mother is? The pain so bad, it feels like you’re splitting in two? Going through all seven hells for your baby’s sake?

“Why do we even put ourselves through this,” she chuckled sardonically. “If I wanted to go through pain, I’d rather just listen to Colm talk about whatever fish he caught on the weekend.”

Mary didn’t answer, and Marie understood. Milo opened his big eyes in her arms and reached up to her with tiny hands. He giggled, light and oblivious to the puffiness of Mary’s face and the swell of her eyes. She cooed at him and held up a finger. Milo wrapped his hand around it, gentle.

St. Mary’s serene smile was still plastered on her face, her hand outstretched in the air between them.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #marie greer #milo greer #redacted milo #redacted marie

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lovinglylibelle · 2 days

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˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

-navigation || masterlist-

pairing: fushiguro megumi x reader

genre: fluff

description: Megumi has always been curious about love, having never experienced it himself. So what happens when he meets someone from his past that might just be the key to changing all that.

requests: open

a/n: this is has been on my mind for a while and i tried sooo many times to write this, but it somehow wasn't giving the vibe i wanted it to give. However, writing it this time was better and i like how it turned out, may have gotten carried away down there but eh (is it obvious that i am absolutely enamored by Megs?) If you like it, please press that cute little heart in the bottom right corner and that reblog button just next to it. If you want more such fics, you can also drop a follow and i promise not to disappoint. Have a happy day ahead, keep yourself hydrated and well fed. Thank you

"Ya Itadori, do you think it will rain?" Kugisaki asked, shielding her eyes as she looked up at the sky. It was the beginning of Japan's rainy season and it seemed like Tokyo was about to welcome it too.

It was getting darker by the second as more and more clouds gathered, blocking out the rays of the sun and from the looks of it, the sky was ready to let down the first rain.

"It's definitely going to rain," Itadori replied. According to the duo, he had some sort of sensor in him that allowed him to predict the weather... keeping aside the fact that it was already visible.

Megumi sighed as he watched the two sorcerers, now trying to climb the lamp post in order to get a clearer view, wondering how he managed to get himself surrounded by them. Not that he minded it. He had gotten used to it.

The three were standing outside a movie theatre, waiting for the movie to screen. Kugisaki and Itadori had insisted upon watching the latest romance movie, the same old story about love.

Fushiguro Megumi didn't know a thing about love and it really wasn't a surprise. To him it was just a myth, a fool's errand that the world seemed to chase for reasons unbeknownst to him.

He didn't get it, truly, the concept of it foreign to him but he wasn't the one to blame for it. He didn't exactly have the chance to experience it: his parents abandoned him, his sister was in a magic coma, and his 'relatives' wanted to exploit him... the only thing close to love, affection, and warmth he had ever known, not that he would ever admit it to him or anyone, was the chaotic white haired man child known as Gojo Satoru, and the two idiots who seemed to have taken it upon themselves to be the bane of his existence. However, that was all platonic anyway.

Romantic love was something he had only read about in the various novels and mangas: that were neatly stacked in his dorm, or watched in movies like these, and yet they weren't enough to make him believe in the notion.

It felt fictional to him, a love that transcends all barriers, a love that makes one do irrational things, a love that is unconditional... the idea was too far fetched. Everybody wanted something in the world, he knew that, he experienced that on an everyday basis. And everybody was selfish when it came down to it, so something as selfless as love was odd for him, odder than the existence of curses and magic.

However, he did wonder what it felt like, to be in love and to feel that feeling that all these things portrayed. Will he ever feel that? it was a question that made him ponder sometimes. He wouldn't mind it if he did and wouldn't mind it if he didn't either.

This reverie of his might have been neverending if it wasn't for the loud shout that Kugisaki had let out. "Fushiguro, it's open!"

He nodded, making his way towards them but stopping short after feeling a strong and familiar cursed energy.

"Huh?" he questioned, his eyes narrowing as he scanned his surroundings. A nostalgic emotion making its way to his heart. What was it-

thud, he felt someone bump into him, making him stumble slightly before he caught himself.

Looking up, he noticed the culprit and was ready to give them a terrible look but as soon as his eyes met yours, his entire world seemed to have slowed down to a halt.

There you were turning around to face him as your hair cascaded around you, framing you delicately like the buds do the petals. Your eyes were wide with evident shock that was etched onto your face oh so sweetly. Your lips parting slightly as it finally began to rain... the first of its season.

The air around you seemed to shimmer and Megumi could have sworn that he had never seen anybody look as beautiful as you did in that moment.

"Oh my god, shit, i am so sorry." you said hurriedly, a shocked expression on your face. You kept a hand above your eyes to be able to see.

Megumi couldn't even breathe much less talk or comprehend whatever you were saying as he noticed the feeling from earlier creeping in again. He squinted at you, running a hand through his hair that was now soaked and sticking to his forehead.

As he took in your features, the feeling started to bloom into something more, recognition.

You had the same aura around you, as you did all those years ago, of comfort and safety that once was Megumi's only solace. Your clumsiness was intact too, barely taking a few steps before crashing into things as he recalled. Your hair was longer though and somehow it looked even more perfect than what he had remembered... And your eyes, oh your eyes, they were the dead give away.

They had that same glint in them, the same warmth and insatiable curiosity that always left him in awe. Even now they seemed to hold the entire universe in them and sparkle like a million stars resided in them.

"Y/n..?" he whispered, loud enough for you to hear over the rain and soft enough to not break the moment.

"What? How do you know my nam-" you replied, confused beyond your belief when a flicker of understanding crossed your mind and you lit up with the same feeling of recognition.

"Meg- Fushiguro? No way..." you chuckled incredelously, disbelief on your face.

"Hello to you too, Y/n" he said, a smile on his face. It was genuine, the smile, just like it used to be all those years ago when you two spent time together.

To Kugisaki and Itadori who were watching it all unfold from afar, it was truly a rare sight; to see the alleged sea urchin, make that face and that too in a serious way.

"It's been so long Fushiguro, you've not changed a bit." you said, tucking your hair behind your ear as you smiled back at him. The more Megumi observed you, the more aware he became of his surroundings. He felt his cheeks growing warm despite the cold rain that was falling relentlessly around him.

"well my teeth grew back," he joked, earning a soft laugh from you and a gasp of disbelief from the other two, who exchanged a look. At the sound of your laugh, Megumi felt his heartbeat pick up, he couldn't comprehend what was happening to him. It was the first time ever that he had felt all those things, was it the weather? was it the rain? was he getting sick? what was happening to him? was he okay?

"that they did... makes you less cute though." you commented, making him nod his head and his friends face-palm themselves.

If they had been standing closer to you, Kugisaki would have smacked the oblivious guy's head right in that instance but due to the distance she couldn't.

"So you are back?" Fushiguro asked as the two of you started walking, the rain almost forgotten now.

"Yeah, Gojo Sensei had insisted on it and well i did miss everything here, especially you." you said, a hopeful look in your eyes as they met his.

I missed you too, he had wanted to say but decided against it.

"So what brings you here?" he said instead, his hands in his pockets.

He was looking down on the street, various puddles forming due to the water. He stepped in one, watching it splash against his feet.

"Believe it or not, it's a mission. There is a cursed spirit right around the corner there, caused a few suicides over the week." you said pointing at the alley behind the theatre.

"Speaking of, i can feel it manifesting again." you added, stopping in your tracks.

"They already got you going huh? You should go and exorcise it, we can talk later." he said, stopping to face you. He didnt want to stop talking just yet but he knew that the exorcism was more important.

"Alright, see you back at the dorms?"

He nodded in reply,

"It really is nice to see you again Fushiguro, i'll see you later." you said, taking off towards the alley with your hands clasped behind your back.

Fushiguro watched you walk away and felt himself coming to his senses again, he could now feel every raindrop on himself that had seemingly disappeared when he was talking to you. He realised that he was soaked, his hair sticking to his face, his hands cold and clammy and yet he didn't mind it at all,

He was so lost in watching you walk away that he didn't realise when Kugisaki and Itadori had joined him.

"So... who was that?" she said, holding the umbrella that somehow magically appeared in her hand. Her eyes narrowing at Megumi.

"A friend,"

"Just, a friend?"

"Yeah, just a friend."

"Sureeee, you made us miss half the movie though."

"But it's just been ten minutes Kugisaki-" Itadori interrupted,

"Yeah yeah i know, i am exaggerating. Come on now and quit staring, you look like a creep for fuck's sake." she called out, making her way towards the entrance of the theatre.

"Shut up." Megumi replied, shaking his head but looking away too.

He was elated to see you again and was even looking forward to meeting you back at the school and introducing you to his new friends.

"For the record, I don't believe that she was just a friend." Kugisaki added as she sat on her seat inside the theatre. Megumi who was now dry, thanks to his shikigami, sat down next to her with a sigh.

He avoided her gaze as he replied, "I don't care."

He was glad that the cinema was dark enough to hide his face when he said that because despite everything, a small smile had found its way on his lips which he really did not want Kugisaki or Itadori to see or they wouldn't let him hear the end of it.

His eyes focused on the movie in front of him, a romance movie, about love and somewhere in his heart and beyond his consciousness, he knew that he had found the answer to most of the questions he had as he thought back to the encounter he just had with you.

He really was looking forward to seeing you again.

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camgoloud · 9 months

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i’m pretty sure this was done on the tlt subreddit once before but i haven’t seen it here and i’m curious to know tumblr’s opinions on the topic! personally i like the second two much more than the first—gtn didn’t really grab me that much and i wouldn’t have even called myself part of the fandom until i decided i might as well give htn a go and immediately got sucked in—but i’m guessing that most people’s experience is different, since the first book seems like the most popular based on the impressions i’ve gotten. also feel free to put in tags where you’d rank the short stories (as yet unsent and doctor sex) relative to the books! i would have stuck those in the poll too but there are. 120 different ways to order 5 unique objects

#personally it’s always going to be ayu >/= htn > ntn > dr sex > gtn for me #i do think that gtn might have had a chance against ntn if i had read gtn in the same mindset that i read nona (i.e. already completely 100%#obsessed with the world and characters) but there’s no way either of them could possibly hope to compete with the EXPERIENCE that is htn #and ayu is absolutely perfect for what what it is (character study of judith subtle worldbuilding exercise etc.)#like that short story more than anything else to me is where it’s clear that muir has written fanfic before because in the best possible way #ayu feels like one of those extremely high-quality 10-15k oneshot fics that you read and find your entire life permanently changed by #also the night that story leaked on this website was my destiel night so i will always have a fondness for it tied to that experience #the locked tomb #polls #if this HAS been done on here then i’m sorry and i’m not trying to steal anyone’s thunder! i just really want to know

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antitheticallyargumentative · 8 months

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i saw the end (it looked just like the middle)

(the jamie tartt character study. at last)

Jamie isn’t stupid. He knows that when he stops loving football it's a bad sign. Because he knows, rationally, that he does love football. If he woke up one day and someone told him you can never play football again, he’d be fucking devastated. He needs football. Needs it like water, like air, like a heartbeat. Most of the time, it’s the only thing keeping him going.

#its here!!!!!!#its posted!!!#i do not know how to think or feel anymore but i would very much appreciate it if you gave it a read #thank you so much to everybody who has been so so sooo kind throughout this whole experience #yall are the best #jamie tartt #ted lasso #ted lasso fanfic #jamie tartt fic #jamie tartt character study #i saw the end (it looked just like the middle)

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nguyenfinity · 11 months

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[frisbees this at you] gay people

bonus:

#enstars #niki shiina #rinne amagi #rinniki #shoutout to bean for saying 'niki with flowers woven into his hair' which immediately gave me brainrot #niki's flowers are honeysuckle and rinne's are primrose from her hanahaki fics (which you should read. y'know. because.)#niki also has laurel 'cause niki with goddess nike imagery does a one hit ko on me #they're holding hands #niki is so pretty actually.#drawing soft looks makes me sick 'cause like. who is making you smile like that. heart eyes lookin ass [is the one putting in heart eyes]#but yeah i think i did the expressions good #'sana draw a character's face shape consistently' challenge (i'm t r y i n g)#also can you tell i've been experimenting with gray paper #i like it #i get the hype now #EDIT JUST REALIZED I FORGOT THEIR WATCHES AND BRACELETS eh whatever.

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sushisocks · 2 months

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something nobody tells you about writing your own fic is that once it's finished you can actually just.... read it? and it's filled with your favorite ships and tropes and has a story you enjoy, because you wrote it! wild!!

#ficposting #rdr2 #AV #teki talks #finished AV and had a couple days off before feeling like i wanted to read smth and wouldnt you know it!!#there are whole ass fics catering to what i wanna read -- on MY profile!!! wowowow. truly blessed #anyway rereading AV just for pleasure and not to obsessively double-check a phrase or detail or edit out mistakes has been an experience #am having fun though. i wanna write more once i have the motivation/inspiration heehoo

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hobimo · 21 days

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see i don't even disagree w you, it's the specific jikook brand of omegaverse that is rly just an excuse to write straight romance undetected. like you can't convince me that if you replace jm and jk from the average jikook fic with a straight couple something would feel different. and please don't feel included in this because you know how to write a great plot and establish characters ok!!! actually i think i read a bakudeku fic once! it was superr popular and short i think? i tried reading some jujutsu kaisen ff and yeah there's some good stuff out there but nothing compares to the emotional attachment i have to bts so 😞 i need to fixate on something else asap❗

you would not believe. how many times i've tried answering this ask before i dissolve into Yapping. sorry. i have a lot of thoughts about the type of fic you're describing i really do. it's bothered me for a long time. my general thoughts are that. bts ao3 fic is a very short walk from wattpad band fic. so a lot of those sorts of people end up over here that dont have that Shame the rest of us nerds do who grew up writing cringey ass book and anime fic when we were teens that pushed us to experiment with writing in complete anonymity and write fucked up and shit stuff and we started Caring abt what we wrote. and also the wattpad band fic environment is so different to the ao3 m/m. but if you know a little grammar and you actually finish the fic the story just gets so unbelievably popular on its own.

that being said there are good fics still in bts jikook. i havent found them yet but i know they're in there. there's gotta be at least one brave soldier left fighting against swathes of people who probably unironically read colleen hoover for fun. there's gotta be. i refuse to live in a world where there isnt

#but if you want bkdk fic recs. anything by surveycorpsjean #fraycheck especially... godddddddddddddddddd #fics that made me wnat to die so that fic would forver be the best thing id ever read #sorry. that sounds mentally ill. anyway #but if u want to yap. please dm me #i love to be a hater and like i said. the state of jikook fics have distressed me for a long time #there has to be a point where smth else gets popular all these shitty people leave and its just us fucking nerds again #then we will experience enlightenment #i havent kept up with a lot of jikook authors but i do like thisneedsmorefilth #their regency au was pretty good #i think there's been a bit of a dead dove resurgence in fic lately but i dont need to read what kpoppies think dead dove is tbh #we have dead dove at home (my emotional support fic outlines that will nver be written)#sorry. for the Opinions

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sysig · 5 months

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It always seems like such a good idea in the moment (Patreon)

The first four are in reference to a great idea I had of - since I’ve finished my lower-limit page number testing for making books; shorter fics take up less page space, and just increasing the font size isn’t as handsome! - simply making a mini book! All it would take would be to halve the pages again, right? Just cut them right down the middle! Easy peasy!

As I’m sure you can tell by the second, no. Not easy peasy. Difficult painful un-fun >:(

Obviously I still did it tho! What do you take me for, someone who could have the idea of an even tinier book and then not do something about it?? No It’s also the only one so far to have a paper bookmark rather than a ribbon!

All told it’s a bit smaller than your average manga (I love the monochrome covers on these under their dust jackets haha <3) - you can see even with effectively doubling up the pages by halving their size, it was still very small-spined!

A quick shot while it was still being made hehe ♪ It’s Out! Paired here - and the earlier one, just without its dust jacket haha - with my Zarla SC2 collection (ft. Family, Negotiations are Going...Well, and With No Obligation) - I absolutely kicked myself after the fact for not including Out as the run-up to everything, I was really trying to make a full collection in probably-chronological order! Out would’ve been a perfect start! And it only would’ve taken like four pages!!

Ah well, it was still quite a learning experience - I probably wouldn’t make another standalone of under 4k-ish just for formatting reasons but I did get some good ideas of how to do so if I wanted to! Although, my next project is going to be even more of a formatting nightmare........I’ll get there when I get there! Lol

#Doodles #The impulsive thoughts are always the funnest! But then it's all a matter of actually putting them into reality...#Ahh well like I said under the cut it was a learning experience! And I really wanted a physical copy of Out haha ♪#I don't think I've ever mentioned it - not even in my pre-fic notes :0 - but Out was another one of my inspirations for Drinking Game #I mean - the drinking lol obviously but I hadn't considered what VUX drinking would be like before reading it :)#I wanted to pair it with both physical copies hehe ♫ I'm happy I attempted it! And I have a better foundation to build on in the future!#I ended up using the scrap leftover from making such a small cover as the bookmark haha - and I picked the covers so they'd almost-match :)#They go together! But not quite! Just enough!#The sting of creation has worn off - it's actually been a while since I've made a quick book! - so the itch is starting to come back haha #Well - almost lol - the formatting is still........but I do want to do it! Especially now that I've got a hand-in-hand hobby to go with it #All that later ♪ For now snakes!#And also spiders I am also the same when spiders #I've been escorting a lot of spiders outside lately and pretty much all of them fall under the moniker of ''darling'' to me lol #Still no luck on finding a jumping spider :( But I also haven't got an enclosure set up yet either #There's this one booth that always has such adorable and pretty jumping spider enclosures ahhh I might have to break and get one someday #Same place where I got to hold the snake in fact! :D She was a love <3 Beautiful full-grown female cornsnake if memory serves #She was rather wiggly - she was tired and fussy and didn't feel like being handled by a stranger but she was so polite about it #A real delight to handle <3 And I got to see her babies! So cute and tiny!#The rest is more SCII fic stuff haha ♪ Rereading the Pirate fic was a lot of fun :) Intentionally avoiding Vargas fic(s) does make me a bit #Well I really like Vargas still lol it is candy to my brain so any gesture even remotely in that direction is very exciting haha #I'm perfectly happy with the rest for now tho! I have plenty of things to read and make! >:3c #Heck there's still a SCII fic I haven't read yet that I want to!! I just have to get all my previous SCII thoughts out of my head first haha #I will tho >:3c Always always ♪♫#SCII

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dandelion-wings · 6 months

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The Barbara-and-Diluc conversation is somehow simultaneously very first-drafty, yet flowing with remarkable ease. My biggest concern had been how to get Diluc concerned about/invested in Barbara and Jean's relationship, but I think it's not actually as big a leap as it seemed like it was going to be?

"Hmmm." Master Diluc keeps looking at her, though his oar-strokes don't falter, steady and straight as he drives them on towards the distant shore of the lake. "I would be more confident if it was only Kaeya. He doesn't always take enough care for his own safety, and I could see him lingering to explore without backup. But I would expect Jean to do the sensible thing and get backup. Moreover, if she had plans with you, I would also expect her to have let you know. That she hasn't is what concerns me." "It's not that strange," Barbara assures him quickly. "She does try to let me know when something comes up, but she can't always do that right away. I do worry a little, sometimes, but I wouldn't have been so worried about this time if Lisa hadn't been worried too." Master Diluc's frown only deepens. "It happens that often?" "She does have a very important job, and without Grand Master Varka here... of course she's busy." "I wouldn't have thought she was *that* busy. I knew she was neglecting herself, but she's always had time for others. Even if it's at her own expense." He's still looking in her direction, but his frown is distant, now, turned inward. Barbara is glad for that, because she *knows* her smile slips for a moment when he says that. She reassembles it quickly. There's no time for her own disappointments, not right now, on such an urgent mission. Not even if Master Diluc has noticed the same thing she has: that for anyone *else*, Jean finds the time, somehow, even if it's only a little, even if it's to her own detriment. They're all second to her duties, but it's only Barbara whom she often can't squeeze in at all. "I don't mind," Barbara says, reminding herself as much as she is assuring him. "As a healer, I have to insist she take some time to herself. If that means we don't get to make up our plans... that's all right." Master Diluc's gaze refocuses on her. "I doubt," he says, a little wryly, "that she's taking any of that time for herself. But that's beside the point." He shakes off the brief glint of humor so quickly that Barbara almost doubts she'd seen it. "It doesn't seem fair for her to make time in her schedule for paperwork and visits to the Dawn Winery, but not for you. Did you have a quarrel?" It *isn't* fair. Hearing that from someone else's lips makes unexpected resentment surge through her, rising almost to her throat before Barbara swallows it back down. Jean's not being unfair; she's only expecting Barbara to remember their upbringing as Gunnhildrs and understand the depths of her duty the way no one else can be expected to. Forcing the unworthy feeling away, Barbara focuses on the strange question Master Diluc had leapt to. ...Or maybe not so strange. Barbara isn't sure exactly what happened between him and Sir Diluc, but she knows their relationship is troubled. Jean has fussed about it now and then when she actually has managed to spend time with Barbara.

#i'm playing it as a combination of #diluc has experience telling when someone is putting on a false front and has been trying to figure out barbara's since they got in the boa #(obviously it's not malicious in any way and also it's probably just hiding worry about jean. but still. it itches at him)#and also he has always just kind of assumed that jean and barbara are what a good adult sibling relationship looks like #jean never set her little sister on fire so obviously they are having a great relationship right? -wait. what.#meanwhile barbara's only getting like 10% of this because she's remembering all the times he didn't hide his annoyance as a kid #and reading the fact that the only emoting he's doing here is a frown as a reflection of that and feeling very small #fic excerpt #chained wind and lonesome song

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orcelito · 5 months

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So I've had no time to write today bc work etc etc but I've been thinking about it like All day and

I have chapter 17 all plotted out, and tbh could potentially write it in a matter of days, brain willing. It's finally back to Not action, which as fun as action is to write its also fucking Hard. So it'll be nice not having to agonize over the sound of a fucking chain (Twice) etc etc. Add in the fact that it's gonna be angsty as hell (angst is always the Easiest for me to write) & I rly think I could knock this one out quickly.

And the Great news is that. Examining the timeline and what I have planned...

Wolfwood is definitely arriving in chapter 18. And not at the end like I'd suspected. No, he's probably gonna be there towards the Start.

I've gotten through the two most difficult arcs to write for early ITNL, so the ball is really rolling now. We are Finally getting places...

#speculation nation #itnl shit #the sandsteamer and the legato & monev things were Important #and i wanted to capture them in ways that was exciting to read #and displayed the sorts of things vash is doing to Make Things Better (with varying levels of success)#plus the experience of his friendship with the girls growing... these arcs have been ESSENTIAL for the progression of their relationships #so yes early manga stuff isnt really applicable for the vw but this isnt ONLY a vw fic #it's an examination of ALL of vash's important relationships. like with the girls. and with his brother.#thats why i got the platonic tags too. They Matter.#so i dont regret how much time and effort ive spent on all this stuff #... that being said tho. im REALLY looking forward to when he finally comes in.#i wont really know what to do with myself i dont think.#itnl has been such an exploration of grief and longing. and then itll actually get to the NEW romance???#big if true. and it's Gonna be true soon...#so yea idk. im excited. im a little nervous too. just gonna try my best to make sure it keeps being good.#readers r so very nice. and i wanna give y'all what ur Really looking forward to...#soon. Soon.

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sleepdepravity · 1 year

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it really has been so interesting (and gratifying) to see people's reaction to my writing, a lot of people have really nice insights into my style or pointed something out that i never particularly thought about...

#life of a fanfiction writer #it's just been an interesting experience overall #back when all i did was write sanji fic i feel like i remember comments being very nice too #but at the same time they didn't really make me think a lot about my writing so much #there's been quite a few commenters for mp100 fic where they sort of make a particular statement on something and i'm just like #'huh. wow. never noticed that.'#never really thought about the way i use repetition.#never really thought about how i describe motion.#i have a friend who has chatted with me about my writing style before too and i think she has said much of the same things #but it does feel different when multiple people also comment on it.#(timeloop fic also had a lot of comments about pacing and the payoff and stuff that i didn't think about either)#(but I think that's just the result of me being in the privileged writer position where i have everything laid out in front of me)#(makes it hard to know how things will feel when read one day at a time)

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doctorweebmd · 5 months

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both zero-sum and the litany of love and loss were concepts that possessed me and would not not get out of my head until i wrote them but i have wastly different feelings about both of these stories despite loving them equally

#I love both of these works but I hated writing litany of love and loss. does that make sense #both of these pieces have the same amount of love and dedication #arguable skill-wise and imagery-wise a litany of love and loss is better #like running for fun vs running away from a zombie horde or something #technically you are doing the same thing. you’re probably even running faster with the zombie horde #but the context of that activity is endlessly different #…there’s been a weird few days we’re people have been commenting on zero sum #which makes me really really happy #but also nostalgic for it. I loved the story and writing it and interacting with people while writing it #everything that came after it has been a much different much less satisfying experience #in other news the path to paradise is both more fun and more interesting than both of the above stories #but I fear the fact that so few people are reading it takes away some of that external validation fun #now it’s all internal validation. lol. and the 3 really nice people who read and comment #we are honestly always our own worst enemies #I don’t compare my writing against other peoples (<- is lying)#but competing against myself is always a problem #just that weird feeling like despite the fact that you’ve grown and hopefully improved as a writer #there are some stories and concepts people are going to feel captured by and some that aren’t #tbh I know most fic readers don’t come into it being like ‘what is the most well written or interesting piece?’#I tout zero sum game but a large proportion of people reading it do it only because it’s exclusively dkbk #which I have my own feelings about. mostly negative.#anyway…. I’m so thankful for people #for still reading or caring about anything I’m writing…#…..eh #anyway does anyone else feel like this #or am I just thinking too much about everything all the time #haha #anyway I’m being sentimental because once again I am #night shift is…. yeah

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godsfavoritescientist · 8 months

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How do I explain the ways in which the bill origins fic 'A Romance of Many Dimensions' by haley3 rewired my brain without needing to give paragraphs upon paragraphs of context. The fic is something like 200,000 words long. Almost every single good moment calls back to things that are set up earlier in the fic

#godsrambles #girl help 'the colors in our universe are the same as the ones in his home dimension because our universe is made out of a piece of bill'#makes NO sense without adding way more context #not to speak of 'bill is obsessed with ford because he can Feel the same cosmic thread connecting them as the one that drew him towards-#-meeting his henchmaniacs which makes him convinced against all odds that ford is gonna join him'#and the long beginning is set in flatland. its what finally got me to read the book flatland #and now I will literally think to myself 'its not that i Have to do x or y tasks. i GET to do x or y tasks isnt that great'#'i get to live in a physical form that experiences so many vivid thoughts and sensations while on bills favorite planet in the multiverse'#and i will be like 'why should i drag my feet about learning this or doing that. bill was literally trapped in a 2d world-'#'and KILLED to be able to experience a life as 3d and colorful as the one im in'#'and just like bill was so desperate to learn and see and do Everything that the axolotl gave him a ton of power so he could do that.'#'i Also want to learn and do and see everything i possibly can. and i literally HAVE the chance to do that'#'so i'd better start actually Trying to do and see and learn everything i can'#and then i brush my teeth slightly more often or whatever #fucking unhinged and ridiculous way of getting myself to do tasks #the events of this fic arent even my headcanon for bills powers and backstory. i just think its neat!#and now my brain has been permanently rewired by a got dam fan fic.#anyways sorry for all the spoilers but i mean. i doubt many folks would decide to read a fic that long without being intrigued by spoilers #most frustrating thing is that the hard hitting spoilers SEEM understandable without context.#but i promise there is a lot of context missing that makes it make sense why they are good plot points and not just weird random happenings #edit: its 200000 words not 600000. how did I misread that

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fairyreblogs · 4 months

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man i dont know why (i have theories but hold on) but the fandoms Ive been in on the internet have been a little meaner these last few years. like i dont get nice comments on my fics anymore. i get ones with no reading comprehension or i get angry ones or i get ones that are enthusiastic and delighted but instead of any decorum they are like. aggressive in their delight. usually just a demand for more content. something has definitely changed in how people in fandoms interact with one another. my theories are just like. younger generations more comfortable with the internet not being as polite as older people on the internet are combined with quarantine kinda ruining a lot of peoples ability to interact socially (mine was ruined too to be fair). but like lately ive been in search of a fandom thats not the markiplier fandom that is nice to me and not aggressively-enthusiastic-weird (but i might take this too) and its kinda hard to find one. i dont know if i just dont have interests that align with happy communities, or what.