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sublecturas 2 days ago
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"Las armas secretas", de Julio Cortazar
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godzilla-reads 3 months ago
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I鈥檓 guessing Qin Shi Huang is still bitter about the mercury poisoning.
馃摉 Zachary Ying and the Dragon Emperor by Xiran Jay Zhao
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princessofbookaholics a year ago
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LGBTQ+ BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS 馃彸锔忊嶐煂
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reecethegeek 4 months ago
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can y'all recommend me some low/urban fantasy books? like it's fantasy but takes place in our world and isn't too complicated. but not pjo, shadowhunters, or hp, i already know about those.
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bookworm-on-rainy-days 5 months ago
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ruhlare 3 months ago
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Why do you allow people to dictate your worth when the eternal origin of all existence - Allah - has declared that your life is more sacred than language can express? | Secrets of Divine Love, A. Helwa
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gaaandaaaalf a year ago
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reading on the floor as the rain rains very erratically
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ladylazarusnumber03 a month ago
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Me, talking about Rincewind: you see, he's a wizard who can't do magic--
Them: um, what?
Me, continues without explaining further:
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skirtjournal 4 months ago
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Emily Marant in 脌 Paris聽
There are many reasons as to why you should read 脌 Paris. Not only does the book provide insight to Paris through the eyes of Jeanne Damas & Lauren Bastide, it is also a remarkable Ode to the city, celebrating the stories and lives of women in the city. It is admittedly not what most people would expect from reading it, with its goodwill and wholesome quality. Without spoiling anything, I will state how much it can change your perspective and expectations on the city of Paris. Not only will you feel like you get it, you will feel like you got keys how to experience Paris. Not to mention how Jeanne follow-up release, La Vie en Rouje does not disappoint either, we can be assured how much pleasure we take from being a part of this Histoire.
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huitingreads a year ago
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research has been a little slow-going but at least i鈥檓 making some sort of progress and though small, it鈥檚 something to celebrate
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sacrinecro a year ago
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Trese, as a story that features various mythological creatures from the Philippines, may give the impression that all these beings belong to only one group. That's not how it is. For one, Ibu and Talagbusao are not from the same pantheon.
This book (PDF) is an introduction to Philippine folk spirituality and religion.
Alternative download: https://archive.org/details/the-soul-book-demetrio-cordero-fernando-zialcita-1991
Here's an excerpt relevant to the series.
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[Edit 6/14/2021] Just checked. Yep, this is definitely one of Budjette Tan's references. From the Trese: Mass Murders (Visprint ed) afterword:
While doing research for Trese's next villain, I read about the Talagbusao, the god of war, in "The Soul Book" and he sounded like a formidable foe. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense to me that the Kambal needed to be more powerful than any aswang or enkanto.
Transcription:
Assistant Deities and Powers
Below the Lord of the Upper Sky is a host of anitos or diwatas, many of whom can do as they please the more distant they are from him. According to Barton, who studied the Ifugao spirit world (1946), these spirits are believed to be immortal, to change form at will, to become invisible, and to transport themselves quickly through space. There are other attributes associated with these powerful spirits. While they can diagnose and cure illness, they can afflict men with misfortune, ill-luck, disease. They can recover a soul if it has been carried off, but they can also coax away a person's soul. Though they prevent the dead from molesting the living, they too cause death. Indeed they can devour parts of the living human body. Men's minds they influence to suggest courses of conduct, such as payment of debt without losing face; passions they dampen so that men will not fight during a celebration; and stomachs they tie to dull the appetite for food and drink. Those who propitiate them know that these invisible presences can increase rice even after it has been stored in the granary, ward off trespassers, make the hunt safe, and bring victory in battle.
Powerful spirits roughly divide into three categories: ancestor spirits, nature spirits, guardian spirits.
Spirits of Ancestral Heroes
Some ancestors, particularly those who were outstanding in farming, hunting, warfare and the arts, acquired more and more powers in the memory of their descendants as time went on. They became fabulous beings. The more illustrious hero-spirits arc remembered in the great epics. Others arc remembered as culture heroes who taught their people new skills.
Some ancestral heroes (Cole 1916; de los Reyes 1909):
Lumabat - first Bagobo mortal to attain the Skyworld (Cole 1916).
Handiong - the hero of the Bikol epic who freed the land from the ravages of wild animals, brought Bikolanos rice, and planted the fruits.
Lumawig - taught the Bontok headhunting, agriculture, the art of building council houses and men's dwellings, and a code of ethics.
Bantugan - the charming, indestructible, much-wedded hero who could repulse any invasion. His cult probably began when the Maranaws were still animist.
Nature Spirits
Not all ancestral spirits become deified. Many remain nameless spirits residing in dark majestic trees and in the deep woods.
Nature Spirits reside in the natural environment, such as trees, rocks, crags, rivers and volcanoes. Humanlike, but much more powerful, these unseen beings are credited with feelings and sensibilities. Accordingly they may be offended and thus cause harm, or they may be propitiated and their friendship gained. Some spirits are represented as being sensitive to a fault as many Filipinos are when confronted with an unfamiliar or unpleasant situation. People do create spirits according to their likeness. On the other hand Frank Lynch, the anthropologist, says that the Filipino's care in handling interpersonal relations may in fact be the result rather than the cause of this belief in an environment filled with sensitive spirits (1970). In moving about, he takes care not to displease the many invisibles who could punish him.
Nature spirits can be either malevolent or beneficent. As in Philippine society as a whole, it all depends on how you deal with them. If you ignore them and hurt their dignity, they can make you sick; however, if you acknowledge them and ask permission to pass by and give them offerings on occasion, then they will reward you.
Some nature spirits:
The Lord of the Mound - spirit of an old man who lives in a termite mound. Throughout prehistoric Southeast Asia, the earth mound was a locus of power probably because of its phallic shape. "Tabi, tabi po baka kayo mabunggo" (Excuse me, please, lest I bump you) is the polite way to pass one of these inhabited hills. Though invisible, the nuno can be grazed and thus retaliate with a fever or skin rashes.
The Tree Dwellers - Spirits reportedly resided in trees. Thus the Mandayas, who are the largest ethnic group in southwestern Mindanao, believe that tagbanuwa and tagamaling are spirits who dwell in caves and balete trees. The belief persists to this day even among Christian Filipinos. The Ilokano pugot and the Tagalog kapre are gigantic, cigar-smoking black spirits who sit in deserted houses and up a balete or banyan tree with feet dangling to the ground. They can, however, assume any size they want including that of an infant. Engkantos also dwell in trees. But the term itself and the description of them as tall, fair-skinned and light-haired beings with high-bridged noses is post-hispanic. Engkantos, male or female, sometimes fall in love with mortals and lavish gifts on them (Ramos 1971).
The Babes in the Woods- probably the souls of foetuses or dead children. They arc called by the Ilokanos kibaan. The creature is a foot high, dwells in the fields, can be scalded with boiling water, and even die. The kibaan gift friends with gold, a cloak that confers invisibility and a large cup of coconut which is inexhaustible. To those who throw hot water at them, the kibaan scatter powder which produces a disagreeable affliction (de los Reyes 1909). Closely related is the Tagalog patianak which wails in the forest, like a baby, but inflicts harm. Common in pre-Christian times was the practice of exposing infirm deformed babies in the fields and forests (Alcina 1960). Their heart-wrenching wailing must have given rise to these beliefs.
The Bloodthirsty and Implacable
Among traditional Filipinos, the embodiment of evil is a being that is neither fully human nor fully animal. It stands upright like human beings and has a face; but it preys on human flesh and makes the living sick so that when they die there is carrion for food. Unlike the devil of the Judaeo-Christian-Moslem tradition, this being does not harm the soul by tempting it to sin. The death it causes is physical rather than spiritual. Other spirits can be negotiated with: offerings and kind words win their toleration if not help. It is not possible to do so with these implacable beings. Thus people fear them the most.
The busaw feared by the Bagobos of Davao, people the air, the mountains and the forest. They are limitless in number. Most malignant is the busaw called tigbanua. One eye gapes in the middle of the forehead; a hooked chin two spans long upturns to catch the drops of blood that drip from the mouth; and coarse black hair bristles on the body (Benedict 1916). It frequents graves, empty houses and solitary mountain trails. Indeed it may make an appearance at any place outside the safety of one's home.
Guardian Spirits
They are believed to preside over specific human activities such as birth, marriage, and death; over hunting, fishing, farming and fighting. Beneficent and powerful, guardian spirits generally rule from the sky; some, however, stay in their areas of responsibility on earth or in the underworld.
SOME GUARDIAN GODS
ON THE FARM
lkapati- Tagalog goddess of fertility. guardian anito of agriculture
Magbangal - Bukidnon planter god who became the constellation that appears to signal the start of the planting season
Damolag - an anito of the early Zambals who protects the fruiting rice from winds and typhoons
Lakan-bakod - Tagalog guardian god of the fruits of the earth who dwells m certam kinds of plants used as fences. Some anitos carry the title "Lakan" or Prince They could have been deified kinglets
Pamahandi - protector of carabaos and horses of the Bukidnon.
WHEN FISHING
Amansinaya - anito of fishermen of the ancient Tagalogs to whom they offer their first catch. Hence the term pa-sinaya ("for Sinaya") still used today. Following the theory of god-making, Amansinaya could be the soul of a maiden who was drowned and became an anito of the water.
Libtakan- god of sunrise. sunset and good weather of the Manobo.
Makabosog - a merciful diwata of the Bisayans who provides food for the hungry. (He was once a chief in the Araut River on the coast of Panay)
IN THE FORESTS
Amani kable - ancient Tagalog anito of hunters.
Makaboteng - Tinggian spirit guardian of deer and wild hogs.
WHEN REARING A FAMILY
Mingan - goddess of the early Pampangos mate of the god Suku (Consorts of the gods fall under the " guardian" category)
Katambay - guardian anito for individuals, a kind of inborn guardian angel of the Bicols.
Malimbung - a kind of Aphrodite of the Bagobos This goddess made man crave for sexual satisfaction
Tagbibi- diwata protector of children of the mountain tribes of Mindanao
WHILE AT WAR
Mandarangan and Darago - Bagobo god and goddess of war Mandarangan is believed to reside in the crater of Apo Volcano on a throne of fire and blood
Talagbusao - the uncontrollable Bukidnon god of war who takes the form of a warrior with big red eyes wearing a red garment. This deity can enter a mortal warnor's body and make him fight fiercely to avenge a wrong. But Talagbusao can also drive him to insanity by incessant demand for the blood of pigs, fowls and humans.
AT DEATH
Masiken - guardian of the underworld of the lgorots, whose followers have tails
lbu - queen of the Manobo underworld whose abode is down below at the pillars of the world.
This information came from the following sources: Jocano 1969; de los Reyes 1909; Garvan 1931; Garvan 1941; Cole 1922; Benedict 1916; Dadole 1989; Mallari-Wilson 1968
--
Demetrio,聽F. R., Cordero-Fernando, G. and Zialcita, F. N. (1991). The soul book. GCF Books.
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wintercorrybriea a year ago
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fruit is so messy just straight up whore food
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godzilla-reads 2 months ago
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鈥擫emony Snicket, Poison for Breakfast
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princessofbookaholics 3 months ago
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饾晵饾暏饾暁饾晵饾暉 饾暎饾晼饾晵饾晻饾晵饾暐饾暀饾暊饾暉 饾暋饾暀饾暘饾暏饾暁饾晹饾晵饾暆 饾暐饾晸饾暎 馃崪
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reecethegeek 3 months ago
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i hate when i don't know what to read next
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bookworm-on-rainy-days 2 months ago
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scarletwinterxx 3 months ago
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veni vidi vici - na jaemin imagine pt. 2
hi! thank you all so much for liking the first part of this story 馃槉 hope you enjoy the next part! as always tysm for the love and support馃挍
For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series鈥 you can check them out here.
All works are copyrighted 漏scarletwinterxx 2022 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.
(gif not mine, credit to owner)
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It鈥檚 one of those nights again. One when everything feels too much, when sleep just won鈥檛 come to you no matter how hard you try. So your solution? Go out for a drink, or two.聽
Maybe more.聽
You drink just enough to still know your way home by yourself. A habit you only do when you know your brother isn鈥檛 home waiting for you. You鈥檇 hate for Jisung to see you like this. Unkept, a little to lost and drunk in your own worries and alcohol
Before making your way back home you went to the closest open convenient store since the munchies started to kick in.聽
It just so happen that Jaemin just came back from the tracks, planning to get a quick midnight snack before heading back to his apartment.聽
You grabbed your favorite ramen from the shelf, some cookies and banana milk before making your way to the cashier.聽
While having an internal debate you didn鈥檛 notice someone walking behind you, Jaemin wasn鈥檛 looking infront of him either. reading the label of his ramen while he walks towards the cashier. Then he crashed with something making him look up, about to tell the other person off but then you turn around so now the two of you were face to face
鈥淛aemin?鈥 you say, genuinely surprised to see him. Instantly Jaemin smiles down at you, his night just got better.聽Looking down at the snacks on your hands, looks like he isn鈥檛 the only one going for a late night snack run
鈥淕ot hungry too?鈥 he ask
鈥淵ea, Jisung ate all the ramen鈥 he chuckles at your answer,聽鈥淚s he here with you? He didn鈥檛 come out tonight鈥
鈥淣o, he鈥檚 over at Chenle鈥檚. Game night鈥
鈥淎h, so it鈥檚 just you. Wait, you walked all the way here alone? This late at night?鈥
You nodded,聽鈥淲hy?鈥 you ask him
鈥淚t鈥檚 dangerous to be walking around at this hour, people who just went drinking and some other creeps鈥 he says, remembering a group of guys he saw before going in the store.聽
鈥淚t鈥檚 fine, never had a problem before. Plus, I can handle myself鈥 you mumble, he probably haven鈥檛 noticed you鈥檙e a bit intoxicated yourself
鈥淚 heard, Jisung did mention you took self defense classes鈥 he looked behind you to see the line on the cashier empty聽鈥淎re you going to pay for that?鈥
Right, that...聽
鈥淎re you drunk?鈥 Jaemin asks, bending his head down to look straight into your eyes.聽鈥淯h no鈥
He shakes his head before he took the snacks off of your hands, taking it to the counter along with his items
鈥淲hat are you doing?鈥 you ask the guy, standing behind him as he pulls his card out of wallet to pay for both of your snacks
鈥淧aying鈥
鈥淵es I can see that, but why did you take my snacks? I just told you I鈥檓 not hungry anymore鈥
Taking the card back before putting back in his wallet, then taking the bag from the guy saying a quick thank you. You did the same before following him towards where you can get hot water for the ramen,聽
鈥淛aemin!鈥 he just chuckles at you so you this time you pinch him on the side,聽鈥淗ey! What was that for?鈥
鈥淪top ignoring me!鈥 again he just smiles at you before turning his attention back to the snacks. You watch him prepare both of your ramen cups, passing the bag of other foods to you
鈥淎re you even in the right mind to cook ramen right now?鈥 he asks, then pressed on the button to start the timer before turning to look at you. Your face says it all, it was cute Jaemin thinks.聽
鈥淭o be honest? I鈥檓 not so sure鈥
After that he didn鈥檛 say much. Taking quick glances between you and the food, keeping a close eye on you. It鈥檚 a good thing he took a detour before going home, just thinking about you walking home alone like this or even staying out this late at night while drunk doesn鈥檛 settle well with him.
鈥淵ou didn鈥檛 have to pay for it though, now I owe you鈥 you mumbled
鈥淵ou can just buy me ramen next time, or you can cook one for me back at your place鈥 he says聽
鈥淒id you just... ask me to ask you to eat ramen at my place?鈥 you ask him, he doesn鈥檛 answer you instead you hear the timer go off signaling the noodles were done cooking.聽
Jaemin grabs a tray to put both of your food before walking towards the exit to sit on the empty tables outside the store, you following behind
鈥淲hy? Don鈥檛 tell me you can鈥檛 cook ramen?鈥 he asks you, sitting down on one of the plastic chairs before occupying the seat next to his. He separates one of the chopsticks before passing it to you.聽
It should feel weird, him doing all these things for you. But oddly enough it felt natural. No awkwardness between the two of you even though you recently just met.聽
鈥淵ou do know what means right?鈥 you ask him
鈥淲hat?鈥
鈥淲hen you ask a guy over for ramen?鈥 he shoots you a confused look,聽鈥淥h come on, don鈥檛 be like that鈥
鈥淏e like what? I really don鈥檛 know鈥 he tells you
鈥淣evermind then, it鈥檚 better off you don鈥檛 know鈥 you mumble before turning your attention back to your food, Jaemin doing the same.聽
The two of you sit there and enjoy your midnight snack, exchanging a few words here and there. Again, it felt natural being there with him. Jaemin feeling the same, he could definitely get used to this.聽
鈥淲hat brings you here anyways?鈥 you ask him, now done with your ramen and moved on to the other snacks you鈥檙e sharing with him
鈥淛ust got back from the tracks, just like you I wanted some ramen鈥 he answers,
鈥淚f you don鈥檛 mind me asking, what got you started on racing?鈥 you ask him, genuinely curious about this.聽
鈥淔or fun, I tried go kart at first. Me and my bestfriend went when we were young, guess I liked it so when I finally got my license I started to take interest on racing. We met with some other guys from the tracks鈥 he answers, you nod in understanding. Once again silence falling between the two of you.聽
鈥淗ow about you, what got you drinking tonight?鈥 he asks, testing the waters to see if you鈥檒l give him any answer.聽
鈥淟ife鈥 you say. He could tell you didn鈥檛 want to talk about it so he didn鈥檛 push it
鈥淚t鈥檚 getting late, I should give you a ride home鈥 Jaemin tells you, you can鈥檛 really tell how late it is but it鈥檚 probably past midnight already.聽
鈥淣o, it鈥檚 okay I can walk home鈥
鈥淧lease, I insist. I鈥檒l sleep better knowing you got home safely鈥 that sentence made you go quiet. Your resolve crumbling a bit.聽
鈥淔ine, now I owe you twice鈥 you tell him jokingly,聽鈥淛ust add it to the list鈥 he tells you, leading the way to his car. He opens the car door for you, letting you get in first before jogging over the passenger side.聽
When he got in, he starts the engine making sure you got your seatbelt on first before driving off. But before that he passes his phone over to you, confusing you for a second
鈥淚t鈥檚 connected to the car speaker, you can just choose whatever song you like鈥 you noticed it didn鈥檛 have a passcode, his wallpaper something simple.聽
Meanwhile Jaemin drives off, he already knows where you live from all the times he drove Jisung home so he didn鈥檛 ask you.聽
He usually don鈥檛 let strangers in his car, it鈥檚 like his personal space. But right now he doesn鈥檛 mind, he likes it even. He鈥檚 even thinking it would be nice to have more late night drives with you.聽
When you arrive at your house, Jaemin once again stepped out of the car first to open your door.聽
鈥淭hank you, for driving me home and for the snacks. I owe you鈥 you tell him, smiling at the guy.聽
鈥淣o worries, like I said you can just invite me over for ramen鈥
鈥淵ou really don鈥檛 know what that means?鈥 you laugh lightly, not believing he doesn鈥檛 know but it looks like he鈥檚 telling the truth
鈥淣o, and you won鈥檛 tell me鈥 you just shoot him another smile
"Do you want to come in?鈥 you ask him, it was just an innocent question really. You asked out of courtesy and also you鈥檙e still drunk.聽
鈥淚 can walk you to the door to make sure you鈥檒l get in safely, then I鈥檒l go鈥
And that鈥檚 what he did exactly. He opened the passenger door for you before walking you towards your door, you were wobbling a bit so he made sure to keep an arm out for you. Walking just right behind you incase you fall. He took the keys out of your purse to open the door for you, the he followed you in.聽
The halls of your home still familiar even with your drunk mind, easily finding your room and jumping on the bed.聽
Turning to look at Jaemin who鈥檚 standing by the door,聽鈥淐ome here鈥 you motioned for him to come closer. Jaemin taking steps like you鈥檙e in control of his body until he was standing infront of you
鈥淒o you want to kiss me?鈥 you asks him, looking up at the guy
鈥淵es鈥
鈥淗uh, me too鈥 he chuckles at your answer but doesn鈥檛 make a single move
鈥淣ot right now though, you鈥檙e too drunk鈥 he adds, pushing you back by your forehead using his finger. Gently and playfully,聽
鈥淲hy not? It鈥檚 not like anyone鈥檚 home to hear us鈥
鈥淭hat I鈥檓 not worried about. I鈥檓 not going to kiss you when you鈥檙e drunk鈥
鈥淚鈥檓 giving you consent right now to ruin me鈥 okay you鈥檙e definitely very very drunk still, you鈥檇 never say that sober.聽
Jaemin鈥檚 mom raised him to be respectful and a gentleman. Even though he wanted to finally taste your lips, give you all the kisses you want and make you his tonight he won鈥檛. You probably won鈥檛 remember anything tomorrow.聽
鈥淢aybe you can tell me that when there鈥檚 no alcohol in your system anymore鈥 he tells you,聽
鈥淭hen I wouldn鈥檛 have the courage to say it鈥
鈥淚t鈥檚 just me, you can tell me anything. You weren鈥檛 scared of me the first time we met, even threatened to run me over with my own car鈥 now he鈥檚 tucking you under the covers, making sure you鈥檙e comfortable before he leaves.
鈥淚 like you, is that weird鈥 you tell him, feeling even drowsier now that you鈥檙e tucked in your bed while Jaemin caresses your cheek with his finger gently
鈥淚 like you, too鈥 he whispers.聽
It should scare him, just how easy it was to admit when you and him just met. But it didn鈥檛. He just smiles down at you, watching you slowly finally doze off. He took some advil from your medicine cabinet and a glass of water, putting it on your beside table along with a note with his number.聽
Making sure to lock the door behind him before leaving. Even though he didn鈥檛 want to leave you but he knows tomorrow would be another day.
聽A few days passed since then.聽
鈥淛isung! Did you use all the hot water again- Oh what are you doing here?鈥
You didn鈥檛 expect to see Na Jaemin sitting by the kitchen island at 7am in the morning, your brother rummaging through the kitchen cabinet for snacks.聽 Looking back and forth between him and Jaemin. The other guy waving at you awkwardly, you didn鈥檛 call or text him after that drunken encounter.聽
It was a bit blurry in your memories but you do remember some moments. One thing you鈥檙e sure of is Jaemin was the one who drove you home.
鈥淎sk me first if I showered, but yes I think I did. It was cold this morning!鈥 Jisung answers causally,聽鈥淵ou didn鈥檛 tell me we have a visitor鈥 you say
鈥淥h yea, I鈥檓 going on a trip with the guys. I brought Jaemin hyung so he can attest that I will indeed be safe and we鈥檙e just going to the beach and I will be back before you know it so my dearest sister can I please go?鈥
Looking back to Jaemin to ask him if this was true,聽鈥淢e and some of the other guys are going to the beach just for the day. I think you鈥檝e seen them when you went to the tracks once. Jeno, Chenle and Haechan鈥
鈥淗aechan?鈥
鈥淵ou know Haechan?鈥
You let out a chuckle at his question,聽鈥淪he dated him鈥 Jisung answered so casually making the two adults whip their heads towards him as if he shouldn鈥檛 have said what he said
鈥淵ou dated Haechan?!鈥澛犫淛isung!鈥 you and Jaemin spoke at the same time
鈥淲e went out a couple of times, we鈥檙e still friends. Next topic please, what why are you looking at me like that?鈥 you ask Jaemin who just shook his head at you
鈥淪o am I allowed to go?鈥
鈥淥ne, no drinking. You can鈥檛 hold your liquor well so don鈥檛 even try hiding it from me. Two, call me if anything happens. Three, stay safe鈥
Jisung smiles at you before running back upstairs to get the bags he already packed, like a child excited to go to his first fieldtrip.
鈥淵ou can come with us, if you want鈥 Jaemin says
鈥淣o thanks, I think my brother wouldn鈥檛 like that鈥
鈥淚鈥檇 like it鈥 he says, hoping it would sway even for a bit but you just snorted at his line making the boy smile nonetheless even though you just indirectly rejected him.聽
鈥淲ould you like it if your sister tagged along on your trip with your friends?鈥 you ask him,聽鈥淚鈥檓 an only child鈥 he answers
鈥淏ut no for real, you can come with us. Get away for a bit鈥 Jaemin adds trying to persuade you, if it was any other girl maybe they would鈥檝e been swayed by now. But not you, you just shoot him a smile to let him down gently once again.聽
You hear Jisung running back down the stairs
鈥淚鈥檓 good, but just in case you forgot if anything happens to my brother-鈥
鈥淵ou鈥檒l run me over with my own car, yes ma鈥檃m I haven鈥檛 forgotten鈥澛
You shot him a smile, throwing an apple towards him which he easily caught.聽
鈥淛i, remember what I said. Have fun鈥 you tell your brother before he excitedly hopped towards the front door, letting out a chuckle at how cute your younger brother is
鈥淕uess I鈥檒l see you later when I drive him home鈥 Jaemin says, standing up from his seat,聽鈥淗ave fun鈥 you tell him聽鈥淎nd drive safe鈥
鈥淲ell, have fun being at home I guess鈥 you chuckle at him, walking with him to the door. Before he goes though, Jaemin turns to face you again
鈥淒on鈥檛 invite any guy over for ramen though鈥 It鈥檚 like a lightbulb turning in your head, you recall a conversation you had with him that night.
鈥淪o you do know what it means鈥 you tell him
鈥淚 asked someone else because you didn鈥檛 tell me鈥
Raising a brow at him, as if silently asking who was his source of information,聽鈥淛eno laughed when I asked him what it meant鈥
You once again laughed at his answer,聽鈥淣oted on that, plus I haven鈥檛 went grocery shopping yet so no ramen here鈥
鈥淚鈥檒l come with, we can go tomorrow. Don鈥檛 go out late tonight though if you want snacks, just order in鈥
鈥淥kay mom, you should go鈥 you said, jutting your chin towards your younger brother who was waiting for Jaemin in his car.聽鈥淒rive safe鈥 you tell him
鈥淎lways do鈥 he says with a wink before following your brother out.聽鈥淕o back in, don鈥檛 worry about Ji I got him鈥
鈥淎nd Y/N, you know that note I left鈥
鈥淲hat about it?鈥
鈥淭here鈥檚 a number you can call there, you know with your phone. Call when you need anything鈥 he tells you
"I will鈥澛
鈥淎nd I mean this, anytime if you need anyone. Don鈥檛 say you鈥檙e fine when it isn鈥檛 true. Call me, I鈥檒l pickup鈥
It was so easy for him to make a promise he鈥檇 pickup but it鈥檚 hard for you to accept when you鈥檝e been let down so many times.聽
Usually you鈥檙e not the one to be scared to gamble, not scared to screw up. You believe whatever happen is meant to happen. Mistakes are made for you to learn. And right now you鈥檙e scared, scared to fall straight into him, gamble everything you have and to feel too much too soon.聽
For now you don鈥檛 do anything but nod and smile back at him. Keeping it silent as you watch him drive away.聽
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