Check for flakes and residue before making your toilet brush the focal point of the diningroom.
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HOLY SHIT I JUST FOUND THE BEST FUCKING HOUSE EVER. I NEED IT IMMEDIATELY SOMEONE GIVE ME $3.75million RIGHT NOW.
What even is this??? Why are there so many shapes? Why is there a fake mining tunnel with cars about to drop off a bridge like in a bad western?
There is just. So much going on here. And I love all of it. Supposedly that garage fits 11 cars and comes with a lift and a painting setup.
IMAGINE the DND games you could have right here.
Look at this fucking castle shit. Apparently there’s a huge dumbwaiter to bring up your firewood. And does that support pole have a tiny rock climbing wall???
OH MY GOD IT DOES. And there’s a piano with...rails? IDK.
I have 10% of an idea what’s happening here but is that...bench? covered in a string of heads??? With some kind of...prayer kneeling thingy at the end there? What is happening. What kind of weird religious bastard built this place?
I have so many questions about this random mining tunnel thing. So fucking many.
There’s even a 3D tour available: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/36570-Us-Highway-24-N-Buena-Vista-CO-81211/2076799379_zpid/?
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BEYOND obsessed with this house in fort worth, texas i mean
okay pretty normal, let’s look at the interior photos—
WHAT THE FUCK
here we see the first example of a pattern that will recur throughout the house, which is that once your eyes adjust to the bonkers dictator chic marble-and-gilded-everything, you notice some pretty egregiously shoddy workmanship. look at how that baseboard intersects with the outlet. look at how the marble... uh, thing on the wall (i was gonna call it a fireplace but it’s not a fireplace, i have no idea what that is) has gaps and weird angles wherever two pieces meet. it’s like they’re trying to recreate versailles on an ikea budget
i... don’t hate the kitchen. i mean, obviously it’s ugly and #toomuch and there was zero effort made to match the very modern appliances and sink to the cabinets, but still, i’m a sucker for a pass-through and a big sink with a window above it.
this ceiling Fucks but the wrinkly, uneven curtains and terrible caulking around the faux-column in the middle anti-Fuck
why did we suddenly completely switch aesthetics. why is there an old TV set into the wall at floor level. why is there a tiny set of doors next to it. why does the fireplace look like an asset ripped from the original dark souls. i feel a sinister presence sucking at my soul the longer i look at this photo
i feel like whoever designed this monstrosity started with the dining room and then once they’d finished it realized they’d blown half their budget on just this one room. it’s so overdecorated that the gaudiness feels intentional, like it’s a statement rather than a side effect of genuine tastelessness. i can applaud that.
here we have the antithesis of the dining room. i don’t know what this room is supposed to be but i hate it. i’m pretty sure everything in this photo literally came from ikea. there is a lack of commitment here and it is rancid
ladies, gentlemen, distinguished colleagues, we have now hit the cornerstone of any great tacky real estate listing: the heart-shaped bathtub! this one gets bonus points for being next to a gilded mirror and surrounded by bright red damask wallpaper. as a bathtub i’d give it a 1/10 because those angles look incredibly uncomfortable, but as a place to shoot my lover through the heart while wearing a gauzy fur-trimmed bathrobe before fleeing with our ill-gotten fortune i’d give it a solid 11/10
here we are with the lack of commitment again. this literally looks like the kitchen in my college dorm but with a weird fringey lamp and some curtains that are absolutely too long for their windows
again, the mix of styles here is just killing me. half damask wallpaper and carved wall panels, half normal-ass bathroom? really? isn’t there anything truly unhinged left in this house? anything truly opulent, decadent, off the chain, extravagant, gaudy—
THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT BAY BEE!!! THAT’S MORE THE FUCK LIKE IT!!! COMMIT! TO! THE! BIT! GO BIG OR GO HOME! IF YOU’RE GONNA STICK A CEILING DOME IN THE FOYER OF YOUR SUBURBAN TEXAS HOUSE IT HAD BETTER BE TWELVE FEET IN DIAMETER AND PAINTED WITH DOZENS OF FLOWERS OR ELSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE??
and finally, to close out the show, a reminder that this entire acid trip of a real estate listing took place in an ordinary, modern single-story house in texas, one with a backyard and utility boxes on the exterior walls and neighbors who may be blissfully unaware that they live mere feet from a yawning pit of madness.
i love tacky real estate listings.
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There are no people in what I've written. Only ghosts. — Susan Sontag
1. mahmoud darwish | 2. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 3. sylvia plath | 4. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 5. emily brontë | 6. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 7. harry styles | 8. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 9. kathleen graber | 10. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 11. ovid | 12. a ghost story (2017, david lowery) | 13. richard siken
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A coworker today showed me a listing for a house he wanted to have a look at, and I noticed that the address was near mine so I offered to swing by (since he lives like an hour and a half away from me) and have a look at it, and see if it was worth anything, and I got there, and I messaged him and I said
there’s a tree growing through it on purpose
he said what? like growing inside of it?
I said there’s a tree
growing through it
Anyway he’s going to go look at it I guess
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My Miami condo inspo 💕🏠
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Uzes Chateau, Provence, South of France for sale through Sotheby’s
Chateau dating to the 13th century
Frescoes by Picasso, who was a frequent visitor to the chateau
Former home of the Baron de Castille and then legendary art historian Douglas Cooper
2 hectares of beautiful gardens
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Interior design influencers are already predicting a strong year for images of dogs printed on a towel hung over the only window in a wooden room.
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Officially the best real estate photo I’ve ever seen. Everyone else go home.
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Recent Commercial Real Estate Transactions
Recent commercial real estate transactions in New York.
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― Richard Siken, Real Estate
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“Real Estate” - Richard Siken, 2020
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𝖨𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝖺𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗉, 𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 7...
1 | 𝖳𝖺𝗑 𝖡𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖿𝗂𝗍𝗌
2 | 𝖠𝗉𝗉𝗋𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇
3 | 𝖤𝗊𝗎𝗂𝗍𝗒
4 | 𝖲𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌
5 | 𝖯𝗋𝖾𝖽𝗂𝖼𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒
6 | 𝖥𝗋𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗈𝗆
7 | 𝖲𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗂𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗒
𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗊𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗆𝖺𝗒 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝖻𝗎𝗒𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺 𝗁𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗎𝗅𝖽 𝖻𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎!
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i learned that Japan has so many "ghost houses" that they are commonly given away at low/no-cost (x)
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Spice up your morning with an unexpected trip to the ground floor.
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These Paint Colors Will Increase The Value of Your House - The Nordroom
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