#real live experience

[didzblog]

100% accurate.

#real live experience #realistic #wokeness #depressing #sarcastic humour

[prussianbluevelvet]

Still seeing feminists in 2023 claiming that ‘emasculation isn’t real’ and it’s still baffling me.

How can you look at the lived realities of Asian and Jewish men and think “yeah these men totally aren’t emasculated and viewed as lesser males or less masculine than white men and it’s totally not dehumanising or racist or anything 😌” like. Racism against MOC doesn’t always look like portraying them as aggressive or dangerous, it can also look like viewing certain types of minority men as ‘failed’ men and ‘lacking real manhood’ as a dehumanising tactic. Myths about Jewish men previously portrayed them as having periods and being ‘basically women’. Asian men are fetishised and stripped of their manhood frequently by K-pop stans and people online who don’t realise that masculinity and gender roles look slightly different in non-western cultures.

Also… trans men. Who are FORCEFULLY emasculated and feminised against their will, by genocidal bigoted conservatives, and sometimes even somewhat by other queer people telling them to ‘tone down’ their non-toxic masculinity to avoid making others uncomfortable, making themselves dysphoric and detached from their gender identities to remain palatable.

What about disabled men? Are they not also viewed as failing to achieve proper manhood? Are they not also emasculated and viewed as ‘un-male’ or ‘less male’?

Minority men absolutely can and do experience emasculation. And it’s not ‘toxic’ or misogynistic to bring it up. Feminists who care about POC in particular should not be pretending otherwise.

#This is inspired by a popular pin i saw on pinterest from a bunch of feminists claiming that emasculation isnt real and it was VERY popular #the comments were all agreeing w/ it #kinda annoying to see people once again ignoring the lived realities of POC and minority men/mascs #feminism #transandrophobia #racism #disability justice #gender #transmasc #trans #stop erasing the experiences of minority men and men of colour pls i am BEGGING #antisemitism

[pierog]

tiny comic about eating toast with friends

#i have sooo many more thoughts about this but i couldnt be arsed making a longer comic..a few ppl seemed to relate so i will put it here #comic #art #artists on tumblr #axolotl #studyblr #academia #<-why the fuck not. it's set at uni #furry #mine #personal #i do wish i spent more time on this but i got 80hd #anyway the experience of loved ones + food is so important to me #and those little moments which you don't realise are so special until they're gone #i'm very bad at living in the present.. always have been.. gotta learn to appreciate wot i have #my hall experience was a mixed bag - loads of fun but also problematic as an institution and i dont miss it #im lucky to have heaps of friends who i love :) #but it's my first year as a Real Adult outside of academia and im trying not to be scared of growing up

[hypewinter]

The Young Justice learns about a new experiment going on at Cadmus once again involving cloning and decides to go rescue the clones. They expertly break into the facility avoiding all alarms only to find out that they trigger anyway. Instead of a voice coming on over the intercoms announcing intruders though, it instead announces an escape. What?

The team continues navigating the base until they come across two kids. The older boy can't be older than 8 while the girl being tugged along behind him looks around 5. The boy narrows his eyes and his body tenses up.

"You're definitely not guards. Who are you?" He questions.

It's Superboy who steps up and says "We're the Young Justice. We came here to rescue you."

The boy doesn't seem to believe them but the girl immediately gets excited. Apparently she couldn't wait to meet real life superheroes. Especially Superboy. That means whatever Cadmus was doing with the kids, they'd already implanted knowledge of the outside world in them. That didn't bode well.

The team decides to push that to the back of their minds for now and focus on the mission. They manage to convince the boy (with the help of the girl) to come with them and they get the two out of the facility. Of course this is after they take all the information they can from the servers (Thanks Robin).

As they get both kids to the medical wing on the Watchtower, the boy introduces himself as Danny and the little girl as his sister Ellie. Connor's never seen clones with such a close bond before and he can admit he's a little jealous that he and Match don't have that kind of relationship. Still he's just happy they rescued the two.

Now to find out who they're clones of and what Cadmus wanted to use them for.

#dp x dc #dc x dp #winter's tales #danny and ellie decided to reincarnate together #they end up becoming clones #no ellie will never let danny live this down #this is mainly fluff #but the pair will unwittingly trauma dump #a lot #and everyone around them is gonna get real concerned #just what was cadmus doing to these babies!? #a second more destructive mission might be in order #meanwhile the siblings are just excited to meet a ton of heroes #that's the whole reason they picked this world after all #so yeah they're living in paradise while everyone else is constantly stressing out #over the terrible experiences they've had when they're still so young #and they say it like it's perfectly normal! #someone get dinah on the phone

[the-final-sif]

what is your opinion on the situation?

I've been at work all day so I haven't been able to sit down with stuff fully, it also seems like Caiti is planning to release a statement later today with more information I think? So I'd like to get her response there, but based on what I've seen so far I think I fall more on the side of "people made some dumb choices and should learn from them" than anything else.

Consent is messy and it gets messier when people start lying or are drunk. In this case, both Caiti and George were drunk. From what I understand, either Caiti had a 21+ wristband from the vidcon party, or her friend group did and assumed since she was drinking with them, she was also 21+.

Honestly, when it comes to the matter of underage drinking, I don't think it's even remotely fair to place blame on Dream/George for that. The blame there lies with Caiti deciding to drink while under 21, and on her friends, Ghostie and the other person present who were both over 21. Unlike Dream/George, both of them knew Caiti and knew exactly how old she was and were letting her drink. They were also letting her drink with no one sober and no one making sure she got home.

Now, Caiti is 18 and also I'm not a goddamn square, I'm not gonna stand here and be like "oh no drinking at 18 clutch my pearls" but like, if people are going to blame other people for that situation, that very much lies with Caiti's friends who knew they had an underage person drinking with them. I feel like people are weirdly assigning blame to Dream/George for not like, iding every person they hang out with (particularly if she had a 21+ bracelet at vidcon, which would mean she already got IDed). While completely avoiding placing any blame on the people who 100% knew they were taking an 18 year old drinking without a doubt.

Putting that aside, from my understanding George's side is he believed at the time that she was having fun, and the most they did was cuddle on a couch with other people there. He believed at the time that everything was cool, and that she later decided she was uncomfortable with what happened.

Honestly, I don't really think that's an unfair reading. At this same party, her best friend was there and from Ghostie's own words, she also didn't realize Caiti was uncomfortable until several months later when Caiti told her. If her best friend didn't notice she was uncomfortable or see anything wrong, then I find it hard to think anyone else would pick up on it.

There's certainly risks taken here that I wouldn't have taken. I think that George needs to do better with checking for consent and maybe vetting the people you're hanging out with. Although I also understand that doing a full background check on everyone you ever meet is an absurd requirement and if, at the time, they trusted the person that they actually invited, I get how that shit happens. Per consent, given that he was also drunk, I get how it may've appeared to him that he had consent. I do think it's still something to work on, but I'm also perfectly aware that in real life, people are often going off vibes and social cues, and sometimes those don't mash.

I also think that Caiti's friends have been pretty shitty throughout this. They take no responsibility for having let an 18 year old drink and then ditching her. They are absolutely milking drama out of this shit and they have a weird obsession with blaming Dream for shit he had no fault in.

As for Dream, I don't think he did anything wrong here. Full stop. If Caiti's best friend didn't notice that she was uncomfortable or unhappy, it's insanely unreasonable to expect Dream to have managed that. He was also drunk and hanging out with people, and he had no way of knowing Caiti was underage. None of that shit was his fault, and his statement seems very measured and reasonable. People are trying to blame him for things that he had absolutely no part in, and the UK group are absolutely trying to pull that shit.

Overall, sounds like several people involved made dumb choices, I hope they learn and grow. Otherwise all of this honestly sounds like shit that should've been talked out privately and not tossed to the internet for speculation. Human beings are messy and will fuck up sometimes. This feels like a case of miscommunication and people making risky choices that left people with some hurt.

Again, I may change my mind with further evidence presented, but that's how it feels to me.

#dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #discourse #sif speaks #sif answers #idk man I think I just have more irl experience with these sorts of situations #like #shit happens in real life #and I think maybe part of the problem with like twitter #is you have a lot of 15 year olds that have never been drunk or fucked in their lives #who are totally sure they know exactly how consent works and how sex goes in real life #I really liked the greendot talk I got about it back in college #I should find a recording of that sometime for people #It laid it out really well that consent is not an on-off switch #It's a door that you're opening #and depending on the circumstances you take risks with how you're opening it #0 risk is like the two of you have a formal plan #and have signed contracts #and then you start to move up through situations that can be more risky that something goes wrong #and someone gets hurt #And honestly for irl consent I found that was so much more of a valuable framework to look at things through

[transmascissues]

hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs

i have one question for you: so fucking what?

i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”

i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.

what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.

if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.

like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.

and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.

this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.

who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?

#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response #because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off #like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to #in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it #idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows #also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you #and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar? #anon hate #ask answered #examples of transandrophobia #transandrophobia #transandromisia #transmisandry #virilmisia #virilphobia #anti transmasculinity #transmascphobia #trans men

[ginwhitlock]

“I want the relationship that’s healthiest for Bella” why. This is a book about vampires and werewolves and codependency and secrecy that kills you. If Bella were meant to be a normal happy healthy human girl she wouldn’t be in the story in the first place. This is fiction, she isn’t real, characters in stories don’t need to be healthy or live in reality. She deserves to suck blood and live forever if she wants idk

#no one. in any fandom. will ever admit that these people. aren’t eeal #they not real!!! #guys let her be interesting god she doesn’t have to be a middle school teacher #if she lived from her experiences and stayed human #she would buy a gun and live in the woods and shoot anyone who came close #literally #mine #twilight #thetwilightsaga #Bella swan

[commsroom]

hera has met maybe a dozen people in her entire life, most of them have intended to harm her in some way, and she's always lived in high stress, isolated environments, where she's had no choice but to live and work alongside them, in spite of that. i like to joke about her getting into internet fights, and she would! she's petty, vindictive, takes things very personally, digs her heels in, and really doesn't like to admit when she's wrong. but i think there's also a genuine concern that she doesn't know how to emotionally handle being surrounded by so many people with hurtful (or even just dissenting) opinions, all the time. she's not really used to interactions that are unpleasant but ultimately not a threat to her, and i think it's going to take her a while to adjust to a social environment where she isn't required to respond to anyone, and she can ignore them. or even just leave.

... though, i think she might develop the opposite problem for a while: when she does realize she can just leave, it'll be difficult to convince her to tolerate any discomfort at all. i think it's important that hera makes friends on earth, not least because she's going to have a lot of insecurity about her current friends having lives and histories on earth when she doesn't, and things going on that she's not a part of, but it's not going to come easily. she's got a lot of (understandable) trust issues, and when is she supposed to tell someone she's an AI? does she need to? is that something that will change how people interact with her? if she doesn't tell them, will she worry they would treat her differently if they knew? it's not a common thing in the world of wolf 359, and i'm sure people have their own biases; the question of "disclosure" is socially and emotionally complicated.

and then, of course, there's the issue that she only exists in that digital space. she can't really "log off." she can't meet people physically. i think a lot about the opening of memoria; knowing that hera canonically feels physically "somewhere else" contextualizes a lot of who she is - how she perceives herself, and how she wants to interact with the world. i want hera to be able to have a body post-canon, but even if she can, there will be a period of time where she is bound to one location and watching the others freely leave it. and that's not even getting into the fact she's used to being able to monitor everyone she knows at all times; post-canon hera is making eiffel stay on the phone with her while he goes one block away to the gas station because otherwise she perceives him as being out of range of her scans and starts catastrophizing that he's probably dead. there's no real conclusion to this; i'm just thinking about trauma and how difficult it is to adapt to a "safe" environment where the mechanisms you've been using to survive no longer serve you, and even in many ways leave you feeling like you're still trapped.

#wolf 359 #w359 #hera wolf 359 #i think there's a lot of really interesting and resonant stuff you can extrapolate from hera's likely post-canon situation #as it relates to trauma and disability and the transfeminine experience. all things that make the isolation of #Only Existing in a Digital Space. and not knowing how to 'break into' the world everyone else lives in. particularly real. i think.

[wowa-bublord]

Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?

Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!

IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.

In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.

After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.

(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)

His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.

After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days

when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!

When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.

In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.

his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)

His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.

#zack lives au #zack fair #my art #cloud strife #zakkura #zack fair ffvii #cloud strife ffvii #zack fair ff7 #cloud strife ff7 #zack x cloud #clack #NOT ALL THE MEDICAL INFORMATION IN HERE IS 100% ACCURATE. i talked to someone who works with caretakers #but i am not a caretaker nor a nurse nor medically trained #plus I smudged some of the facts of comatose and catatonic states to fit with the symptoms cloud displays in canon #so its like.. a fantasy coma and doesn't fully reflect what someone would experience in real life #i hope it isn't too egregiously done if anyone has some critique or suggestions i want to hear them!!!!! #coma cw #medical struggles cw

[captainmartin20]

"what I was gonna say is– me, you, and will(?) we go somewhere for dinner”

#her voice oh lorddddd #listen with headphones for the full experience #iowa hawkeyes #iowa wbb #wbb #women's basketball #kate martin #jada gyamfi #my gf (real) #tiktok live shenanigans

[lucky-clover-gazette]

something something commodification of adolescent nostalgia packaging the timeless joy of self-insert fictional escapism into a soulless $60 product

#in my day we had to imagine and draw and write our unique fantasy lives at hogwarts #and for me it was a formative creative experience #there are many more glaring and ethically unacceptable things about the game but it has always conceptually bothered me #a harry potter rpg? bestie fans have been roleplaying their hogwartsonas since the books came out #their creativity is the real magic #hogwarts legacy

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

#asks #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #marcille donato #manga panel analysis #this is probably riddled with typos sorry #readmore cut bc it got long lmao #i ended up babbling about it bc it's such an important character detail to me #bc like... wow. she's so normal about it. she's literally just chilling. #the only thing that really bothers her is the material reality of it and how people treat her #the stereotypes the stigma etc. etc. #otherwise it just.. #literally doesn't factor into her criteria for self-worth at all #the basic truth is that marcille likes herself on a fundamental level #she's not plagued by a deep and festering self-loathing the way a lot of characters in her archetype are #she likes herself and is proud of her successes and accomplishments #its just that shes terrified of failure and can have *episodes* of self-loathing when she fucks up #but who doesn't yknow #i know its a very slight nuance that makes very little difference in how her 'overachiever' problems manifest but its there #the sword of abandonment issues that hangs over her head has nothing to do with her self-worth or self-esteem or meeting her own standards #it has to do with the fear of not living up to *other* people's expectations and not being useful enough to be worth keeping around #she's good enough for herself but she's always so so so scared that she's not good enough for other people #i wont say much about what ryoko kui is saying using this as an allegory for real world racial biases but #dungeon meshi's treatment of marcille's relationship with her being half-elf is so incredibly important to me because it gets it so right. #a trauma about inferiority or being a half-being isn't inherent to the experience of being 'of two worlds' at all #that's something that's unfairly drilled into people by their environment #the *inherent* anguish is the loneliness. the constant longing. the fact that you are always homesick no matter where you are #always just a little bit of an outsider and never fully at home #and dungeon meshi gets that. #edit: cleaned it up a little

[grahamcore]

if you’ve read a metric ton of fanfiction and had your memory of canon retroactively altered you may be entitled to financial compensation

#but fr this experience is so funny to me and it happens constantly #i once had a real convo with a friend about hannibal burning down will’s house and how i was shocked that it didn’t get brought up more #yeah that shit just straight up did not happen. i read it in a fic. #but i had been going on for i don’t know how long thinking that will’s house had burned down at some point?? i felt brainwashed #sometimes it’s helpful though. it’s nice to be able to read fix it fics and then intentionally live a lie #what do you mean hannibal and will aren’t miraculously living under the radar of the law in florence right now? yes they are. #i do this for daredevil too. season 3 ended so differently in my mind #and ESPECIALLY for the witcher because fuck that whole geralt never properly apologizing and treating jaskier like shit thing #hannibal #hannigram #daredevil #the witcher #dc

[sephospaganplace]

There are so so so many ways to experience the gods.

There is no right or wrong way. There is no blunt way. Its all feeling and ephemeral.

If you've felt warmth, if you've had a dream, if you've seen a crow that stares at you for too long, if something inexplicable happens and you're lucky suddenly, if you've caught eyes with a stranger and felt like you knew each other. If the candle flickers a certain way, if one time when you're singing your voice sounds gorgeous in a way you weren't expecting, these are all the presence of a god.

God phoning is popular on witchtok but half the time what they're saying is bullshit. I've very very rarely heard a voice and every single time it was my own voice, just suffused with something, saying something I normally wouldn’t say. Or maybe I would. I've never heard a clear, distinct, audible voice. Its an invisible world we're connecting with, its a different plain. We cannot experience it the same way we experience every day life.

We'll never sit down at a coffee table across from the physical manifestation of our god, and know that its them, not until after. And even then we can never be sure. That’s the nature of it. There are no absolutes, there cannot be. That’s what makes it beautiful. That’s where belief comes in. It isn't about being good enough or worthy enough or devout enough, that doesn't exist. That isn’t what its about at all. You are worthy even if the divine doesn’t manifest in a way we've been told is the only real way, and you are connecting even if you cant see it now. My most intense spiritual experiences are never something I realize are happening in the moment, its always only after that I can see it clearly.

The gods are all around us.

#Hellenism #Paganism #deity communication #my posts #I will never forgive witchtok for making an entire generation of pagans feel inadequate #You are good enough your practice is enough your experiences with the gods are good and normal #You don't have to have a godphone or intense dreams or whatever the hell they're claiming they're doing for clout #Even if what they're saying is true one of the Delphic Maxims is literally 'Do not boast about power' #Don't tear yourself to shreds #we all want to feel like this is real #to KNOW that this is real #but there is no way of knowing and having proof isnt the point #it isn't #it's about you and your soul and your spiritual journey and connecting with the magic in you #repeat after me #you are good enough. #the gods are with you in ways you cannot see #in ways you aren't meant to see #live your life #keep going keep building something in yourself take CARE of yourself #thats them guiding you too #ok to reblog

[greenrose-witchdance]

So i went to Käärijäs Ähtäri gig: what i can remember atm:

There he is. As you can tell im a real photographer<3

First of all great show!! He said that the representative who asked him to come there was hesitant because Ä-clubi is tiny in comparison to like liverpool and helsinki ice hall but jere said that this was even better (he is out of his mind but im glad he came)

Tbh i dont have a lot of pics or any videos because im short and i got these two trees in front of me also i wanted to enjoy the thing in present

That one person who asked him to draw a tattoo for them got it! They asked for ”pillu ja nimmari” (cunt and signature) i hope they post it somewhere when they get it.

Someone else had a käärijä tattoo they got for 70€ He was pretty amazed that someone had a käärijä tattoo. More like blown away really but made a joke about it not being expensive

Three bras and one pair of pants were thrown on the stage. The pants were size XS lol also he did put one bra on briefly and i tried to get a pictire for yall but failed sorry :(

This was also a thing that happened.

Some person had been to 15 of his gigs within one year?? Dedication. Jere said thats more gigs than he even had had before this year.

At the beginning he asked who had started their summerbreak and then called those who didnt raise their hands unemployed and then he said HE is unemployed. Later he said his next real job will be as a panda in Ähtäri (ähtäri zoo has 2 pandas) and something like what if there was just a kärtsäri-otus (käärijä-creature) in there at the zoo wearing a bolero.

Also:

For jeres back enjoyers?

A screenshot of my own post bc i dont want to write it again its almost 2 at night<3

#great show!! #would see him again #sometimes people see artists live and say they look so different in real life but he looked just like he looks #im not an experienced clubber but this was s good experience! #tall people dont stand in front of me challenge failed #this post is barely anything i know but take your breadcrumbs #käärijä consert saga #käärijä #my thoughts to the void #käärijä in ähtäri

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

bc its hot out im thinking about Laughingstock (two fluffy boys) being too warm to sleep in the same bed. so they start arguing over who gets the bed - trying to give it to each other of course - and Howdy. Howdy starts making a sales pitch about how great the bed is, wouldnt Barnaby like to try it? its right up his alley! perfectly suited to him! so Barns is like "oh hm well sure ill give it a go". he lays down. blinks. "heyyyyy wait a minute" but Howdy is already camped on the living room couch, smug as a bug

#and thus begins several months of them moving each others stuff around #to try and switch who's taking the couch #howdy is sprinting home after work to try to move back onto the couch before barnaby can beat him to it #one day poppy says 'why dont you just buy two beds? #they look at her for a long moment before continuing the Fighting Over The Couch bit as if no suggestion was made #bro if they hug or just touch during summer #i bet it sounds like velcro when they try to separate #cue them gazing sadly and longingly at each other from arm's length bc They Cant Have Contact During These Hellish Months #they're both too fuzzy!!! its unbearable #absolutely unprompted #laughingstock #no yeah and okay the Set doesn't experience real seasons but rn im living in an imaginary world where theirs is real #and during summer poppy/howdy/barnaby must be miserable #especially poppy #like they must be in lethargic 'lay in front of a fan and die slowly' mode #no wait howdy's store probably has Killer ac... catch the whole neighborhood hanging out in there #popsicle party lets gooooo