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cakemousse · 1 year

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if only

A hug was all it took for Chat Noir to understand the betrayal.

Rating: T, Words: 2047, Chapters: 1/1

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this was born from me wanting to make chat noir silently suffer from his decision to let ladybug go aka missing ladybugsimp!chat noir hours and since i saw this art, let’s go

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She would never admit it to him, but Ladybug adored this photo of herself and Chat Noir being so close together with smiles she believed could brighten even the darkest of days.

Chat Noir had sneakily taken a photo of them when he told a joke so ridiculous she couldn’t stop laughing, and thus couldn’t stop him from getting closer and snapping a picture.

Those were fun times.

Fun times she deemed were long gone.

Ladybug continued to stare at the photo on her bugphone, reminiscing the love she had lost because of how long it took her to realise her feelings for him. Because of how everything in the universe was telling her that their love was impossible, even though she was convinced that what they had or would have was the very definition of love itself. Because of how she gave up chasing it, even though her heart refused to stop fluttering at hundred kilometres per hour whenever Chat Noir sent a soft smile her way.

Because her relationship with a certain classmate has changed.

Adrien had started showing interest in her, for reasons she didn’t know, but he always looked drunk in love whenever he was around her. Very similar to a certain someone if she was willing to admit herself.

Their journey to being a couple was a rocky one, but ultimately they were together now.

She now had Adrien. The sweet, lovely, and pure-hearted Adrien that never failed to show how much he adored her, and she honestly shouldn’t be out here when she was due to meet him in a few minutes.

Marinette really shouldn’t be doing this to him.

But here she was, as Ladybug, sitting on the rooftop that Chat Noir had once decorated magnificently in hopes of confessing his love to her, and possibly even ending up as a couple by the time his declarations were done.

Oh if only Ladybug wasn’t so stubborn back then, how different would everything have been from then on.

The more she thought about it, the more her vision blurred.

That was in the past. She should leave it in the past. But she’s clinging so desperately to that beautiful memory.

She just couldn’t let it go.

The photo on her bugphone had also etched itself onto her mind, refusing to let her forget that it happened.

Ladybug tightened her grip on the yo-yo, feeling her eyes burnt and her heart ached the more she basked herself in the current atmosphere. Maybe she should feel this, feel this longing that Chat Noir must’ve felt whenever he was with her. Feel his hopelessness, and now hers, that she can’t do anything to ratify the mess she got herself into. Feel this—

“Ladybug?”

—————

Heading over to Marinette’s as Chat Noir probably wasn’t the best idea, but he’d be able to avoid fans on the way, and it was the fastest way to see her.

Ah, Marinette…

Adrien was well aware of the time they had agreed to meet each other, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be at her house earlier than expected.

Marinette’s always happy to see him whenever. She was just all pink cheeks and stumbled on her words whenever he showed up earlier than expected. Something about her room being in a mess or that she had lost track of time designing. Adrien always gave her his best smile and let her know that he could pack the room with her or that he would be more than happy to work with her on her designs together. To which she always flushed further, grabbing his hand and leading him to do whatever she had left undone.

It’s the simple things like holding hands and spending time with her that made Adrien’s heart feel so warm and full. He couldn’t wait to see Marinette, and he was nearing her house now. Just one more jump past that rooftop and—

Chat Noir almost fell off the rooftop with how suddenly he stopped his jump. The red and black polka dot suit was hard to miss against the grey backdrop. Ladybug was sitting on the rooftop—her back facing where Marinette’s home was—and looking at her yo-yo, no, more like staring at it with how she’s not moving at all.

Her posture looked different. Vastly different from how she normally was. Ladybug always had this larger-than-life, bright and confident aura to her, even when she was relaxing or when she was down. And Chat Noir knew that it was because she never lost hope. No matter the obstacle, she always faced them with her head held high, and she always triumphs. He was always there whenever she required a little assurance and push from time to time, and it had never failed to awe him as he witnessed the change within her.

And if there ever was a slight change in her demeanour, Chat Noir would know—he did spend a huge amount of time watching and observing her when he was still head over heels for her. He could identify it straight away. And right now, she didn't have any of her usual demeanour present.

Right now, she looked defeated, and Ladybug never looked defeated.

Chat Noir couldn’t have her feeling like that.

He’s early to Marinette’s anyway, he’d make sure his Lady’s feeling like her usual self before heading over to Marinette’s.

Chat Noir vaulted over to where Ladybug was and was hit with a fresh reminder of the fond memories that came attached as a package to this particular rooftop. He was glad that he did not lose his best friend back then.

He landed on the rooftop, and Ladybug did not seem to hear him as she hadn’t shown any signs of acknowledgement of his arrival.

“Ladybug?”

She jumped and whipped around, slamming her bugphone shut, looking at him as though she were a deer caught in the headlights.

There were tears in the corner of her eyes.

This was worse than he thought.

Ladybug placed a hand on her chest, “Oh, Chat Noir, it’s just you,” and quickly turned her head, probably to wipe her tears away.

Chat Noir moved to sit beside her, facing Marinette’s home, and gently placed a hand on her shoulders, “Is everything alright?”

Eyes freshly wiped of tears now looked at him, “Oh yeah, everything is going great!”

“Do you want a hug?”

Ladybug immediately shut herself up and gaped at him. Then he watched as her face flushed pink before she tucked her face into her now raised knees, just like how she was seated on the Trocadéro after Shadowmoth stole the Miraculouses.

“It’s fine, Chaton.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.” She nodded her head in her arms. “I’m just… trying to get some air. And I need to be elsewhere soon.”

He had to be elsewhere as well, but he couldn’t leave her like this. “Okay? Then I’m just going to stay here until you need to go.”

No response from her.

Well then.

He couldn’t do parkour with her to lift her spirits—that’d take too long as well—and he couldn’t make a fool out of himself if she was not looking up, she could listen but he couldn’t talk about his personal life without risking his identity.

He could only talk about Plagg then. It’s not much, but he hoped he could cheer her up.

“You know, as much of a simple-minded cheese-loving gremlin Plagg is,” he leaned on his hands behind his back, “he’s actually a lot of fun to be with. You’ve interacted with him twice haven’t you, my Lady.” He wished that Plagg could take his place now because he knew that Plagg would know what to do to cheer her up, even if he had only interacted with her twice. He’s been around for aeons after all.

“The first time I met him, I was so excited about being a superhero that I practically just got him sucked into the ring without him telling me everything about being Chat Noir. And now you know why I used Cataclysm so carelessly on my first try.”

He glanced at her to still not see much movement from her, but at least she hadn’t left.

That’s a plus point.

“But that day, I thought he was a genie! I don’t know about you, but I was so fascinated by him because there’s nothing like him! It’s weird how normal it is for us to have this cute little creature beside us all the time now. But Plagg, back then, was anything but cute, he was this mini monster that was trying to eat everything in my room! And you know how they can be if they don’t want to be caught. I think I’m made to be Chat Noir because I had to climb everything, effortlessly might I add, to finally catch him. Who knew I was a cat all along.”

Chat Noir knew that he was rambling, but if he could get her to cheer up by sharing his joy, he’d continue to ramble.

“And despite this ball of destruction doing what he knows best, well, being a chaotic black hole, Plagg is always there for me when no one else can. He can be insensitive at times, but he tries his best. He’s seen my worst days and does anything he can to cheer me up. Like playing the pi—! Uh… I mean, we do things together afterwards. But sometimes, him just being there is enough for me. And… I hope I can be the same for y—”

Chat Noir suddenly felt the air knocked out of his lungs. He would’ve fallen backwards on impact if not for his hands behind him.

He looked down to see her dark hair and her red suit with black polka dots leaning against him.

Chat Noir’s relieved that he still understood her well. She needed the hug after all.

Surging sideways, he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer to him and laid his cheek on the crown of her head.

She smelled so nice.

Ladybug tightened her hold and they stayed like that for a while, basking in each other’s warmth and presence in silence.

No words were needed for them to know that comfort was given and received by each other. That’s how they always have been.

No words needed, to know that Ladybug would be alright after this.

Ladybug shifted her head, now leaning her other cheek on his chest and pushing herself in, sighing at the increased contact. And Chat Noir? Well, he felt something brewing in his chest. He did not think it’d ever surface again.

But it did.

The rumbling started out small, but as she was directly on top of his chest, she knew what it was.

And Ladybug did something Chat Noir didn’t think he’d miss. She traced her fingers behind his back, and it felt like that was the final key needed to unlock a full-blown purr from him.

It’s a hilarious moment for both of them. It had to be because that’s how they joked and bantered around like always. Ladybug started chuckling when she felt the vibrations from his chest and giggled when she heard the purrs resounding around them.

But for Chat Noir, it’s not a funny moment, yes his cheeks flushed at her laugh, but it isn’t exactly a funny moment for him.

Chat Noir pulled back and covered his mouth with both hands, trying his best to cover his pink cheeks from her and stop the purring, but Ladybug saw and knew all.

She continued giggling as she reached for his hair and pets, a gesture not often used, but a gesture he understood nonetheless. His hands were in her way to his chin.

Ladybug rose and walked to the edge of the rooftop that was hidden from his view. “Thanks, mon Chaton, I feel better already.”

And with that, she zipped away.

Chat Noir still had his hands on his mouth even though there was no one to hide his rosy cheeks from. He tucked himself inwards, feeling his heart rate increase as he couldn’t deny the revelation stuck at the forefront of his mind.

Ladybug still had him in her tender hands.

#mesfics #miraculous ladybug #fanfic #ladynoir #ladybug #chat noir #longing #realisations #if only #ml leak free #miraculeakless

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justanotherstudyblrrrr · 9 months

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Getting to Know Yourself is a Luxury:

We live, more and more each day, surrounded by the fact that we should love ourselves, treat ourselves, and most importantly, know who we are and who we want to be in order to know our boundaries and limitations, as well as how to push them in order to improve ourselves. But catch this, getting to know yourself is a luxury.

How do you get to know someone? You go out for coffee, talk about likes and dislikes, about TV shows and movies, and hobbies and things they want to try. It’s a time investment. You take a break and get to know someone at the same time. You socialize, which is well-seen and encouraged. Perfect.

How do you get to know yourself? Can you talk to yourself about what you like and what you don’t? About TV shows and movies? Music? Theatre? Art? Aspirations? About what you want to try and what you have already tried? You certainly can, but to do so you must have put time into figuring out what you like and don’t, so what happens if you haven’t? What if you haven’t figured that out yet? What if you feel there is something out there that you will love doing? Then you need time to do it to truly figure out if you enjoy it or not.

What about TV shows? Movies? Theatre? You can’t talk about it if you haven’t seen it. And you can’t see it unless you have a minimum of an hour and a half free in the day in which you actually feel rested enough to focus on something for AT LEAST 90 minutes. Not to mention the expenses, since ticket prizes aren’t exactly cheap. And the same thing can be said for hobbies.

But what about simply getting to know yourself? What do you value and appreciate? That should be pretty simple, right? Just sitting down quietly and pondering about it for a while. Think again. When did you last “ sit quietly and ponder for a while”? Without thinking of work? Or your finals? Or paying rent or buying food? Or any worrisome personal situations? At least I haven’t done that in forever. To get to know yourself you need time. Time to try, to make mistakes, to discover, and fail. Time to relax, and give your mind a break before asking personal questions. To have all that time to go on adventures, try new things, watch entire TV series and movies, and have enough mental health to even be ready to face the big questions, you need money, because nobody working from 7am to 1am and studying from 2pm to 7pm and taking 2h on public transport to get to and from home so they wake up at 4am and go to bed at 10pm (at best) is going to have time for literally anything else.

And what is money? Money, in this world that we live in, is a luxury.

#studyblr #studyspo #images from pinterest #thoughts #getting to know yourself #luxury #realisations

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lets-talk-trans · 9 months

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#trans #transgender #gender #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtq+#realisations #polls #trans awakening

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siwekubheka01 · 9 months

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Develops intense crushes and maladaptive daydreams to compensate for being emotionally neglected and abused during my childhood…

#emotional neglect and emotional abuse #realisations

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finding-hope-strength-courage · 7 months

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That feeling when you want to talk to someone you used to confide in and then realise things don’t feel the same or you aren’t sure they want to hear from you anymore, so you keep it to yourself instead. 💭

#Mental Health #Awareness #Understanding #Fighting #Healing #Recovery #Progress #Growth #Strength #Hope #Courage #Personal #Thoughts #Realisations

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chaandkideewani · 7 months

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she was sure he saw the pain in her eyes but still he chose to give her more pain after making her believe that she could be loved, by him.

-chaandkideewani

#betrayal #hurt #pain #realisations #sadposting #poetry #poetic #poets on tumblr #dard #love #love poetry #ishq #desi culture #desi #desiblr

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witchstone · 2 years

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i need to think more on this but i'm largely sure that a lot of the repackaged conservative takes we've been seeing on the rise in the lgbt community is a result of lgbt identities being more "accepted". i feel like having an easier journey to that identity has meant that a large swathe of people have never had to actively interogate harmful ideologies in order to accept that about themselves and instead just go on spewing the same shit we've heard for decades, just with their own personal framing

#anyways! i'm not saying this as an assured statement but i'd appreciate any thoughta #thoughts #diary #lgbt blogging #accepted is in quotes bc obviously not but the terrain is distinctly different to what it was when i was growing up and having certain #realisations

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aceinacorner · 10 months

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I just had a realisation that One Piece is my anime between animes. For example, if I have nothing to watch or don't feel like starting a new anime, I just watch a little bit of One Piece

#one piece #anime #realisations

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happilyaloof · 11 months

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Torn between letting go and the fear of letting myself go, I realised I needed freedom from both. Freedom from proving self-love through living a nonchalant, carefree life, and freedom from dwelling on perpetual patterns of pain. It’s become a constant struggle to choose between liberty and strategy, since neither of the two feels natural. The liberty comes from a place of following the herd into giving more importance than asked, to the latent rebel in you, often leading to irresponsibility. I find strategy, on the other hand, acceptable as long as it acts as planning, in the normal course of events. But it seems I’ve been walking on eggshells, too scared to give the reins of my life to Life itself. Not letting it run into mistakes of the past again, as if my hands on the reins could control it.

Losing hope is one strategy I used to free myself from those calculations. It’s not nihilism, as I did not yet lose my meaning and rather, felt placed right between possibilities and indifference. However, there was no promise that I won’t be scared anymore. I was, when all I wanted was to be able to breathe knowing it won’t all go away once I’ve shut my eyes to soak in the little progress I made; when I just wanted to be able to lower my guard, for once, and relax.

I do wonder how I gave away so much of power to a thing, that it could even make faith whimper in a corner. What used to be one of my strengths, became my vulnerability. I may have kept it hidden from myself, and I may have been embarrassed to tell my faith that I let fear win, but never ever was it lost on me. It held its ground and there was a renewed strength I found, where I could see faith working for me in more ways than one.

A choice will always have to be made, but letting go of the rigidity of my ideas of how things work or should work, provides a certain stillness now. It is somehow so freeing to have accepted the stillness as a part of growth, that I don’t feel the need to fervently keep moving in order to reach somewhere.

I have also understood to an extent that the mind is ever forgetful and these realisations don’t last long until they are treated as reminders to regulate their flow.

Ashhvairya

#29 #faith #choices #stillness #letting go #realisations #vulnerability #liberty #responsibility #nonchalant

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