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#really hope I got the correct animators here. lemme know if it's not the case!
ragingbookdragon · 3 years
Text
Time Stops When I Look At You
Barry Allen x Wondersis One-Shot
Word Count: 1.8K Warnings: None
Author's Note: Based on the ask I received! Love this pairing now! -Thorne
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When he opened the door at seven AM after getting in at three that morning, he wasn’t happy. And Hal Jordan certainly wasn’t happy to see her with a bright smile on her face as she greeted, “My dearest friend! What a blessed morning we are having, yes!”
He blinked blearily at her. “It was a blessed morning…when I was still sleeping.”
“Are you telling me you do not rise with the sun and train?” she asked. “I thought that was standard for the warriors of the United of American States.”
“United States of America, (Y/N),” he corrected, opening the door. “And to answer your question, I haven’t been in the military for a few years now. I get to sleep in before I go to work.”
(Y/N) hummed as she stepped inside. “That seems like a waste of valuable time.” She glanced back at him. “I have something important to discuss with you.”
Hal merely made a noise low in his throat and lumbered down the hall, her on his heels, into his bedroom; he collapsed back onto the bed and pulled the covers up to his ears. “What’s on your mind, Princess?”
She quickly unhooked her greaves before climbing onto the bed, laying across his body. “I am unsure of how to show affections for someone.”
He adjusted his body so that her head was on his stomach. “Really? The Princess gifted by Aphrodite doesn’t know how to show you’ve got a crush on somebody? Who woulda thought?”
(Y/N) dug her chin into his gut. “You mock me, my dearest friend.” She let out a sigh. “I was going to offer him a blade forged by my mother and sisters and recite Sappho’s Ode to Aphrodite to win his favor.” Her eyes drifted to his. “But I do not know if he likes poetry.”
“Who is ‘he’?” Hal asked.
“Bartholomew.”
He blinked. “Wait…you mean Barry? Like…our Barry?”
She nodded. “Yes.” (Y/N) stared at him. “Does Bartholomew enjoy poetry, Harold? I have more pieces prepared. The Iliad for example.”
“Please, God, don’t call me Harold.” He shuddered. “Makes me think my mom is scolding me.” He sighed, laying his head back. “Barry’s…not exactly a poetry guy. He’s more the ‘take me to a science museum’ type of guy.”
(Y/N) hummed thoughtfully. “Interesting! What is a science museum?”
“Big building with a bunch of things that make lovers of science all tingly inside.”
“And you think Barry would like that better than a sword and poetry?”
Hal snorted. “(Y/N), let’s get one thing clear. You could give Barry a dowry of a million dollars, and he’d still not get the hint.” He glanced down at her. “You’ve literally gotta tell him you like him or he’s not going to get it. Hell, probably though a science line. That’s one way to get through to him. Actually, that’s probably the only way to get through to him.”
“Hmm…and to think I had a dowry prepared back home.”
“What? Seriously?”
“Of course. Many animals and a great deal of gold.” She turned over onto her back, resting the back of her head on his stomach. “Where is a science museum I can take him to? I do not know if there is one in the city I live in.”
“There’s a really cool one in Chicago,” he offered. “I know Barry’d get a hard-on for that place.”
“A hard-on?” (Y/N)’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”
“Uh…”
“Is that another euphemism for arousal?”
“…Yeah.”
“You are such a man.”
“Thank you for noticing,” he chirped, glancing out the window. “Well…you woke me up and since I’m awake…wanna get pancakes?”
(Y/N) jumped up, excitement crossing her face. “YES! I LOVE THE CAKES OF PAN! THEY ARE DELICIOUS!”
Hal chuckled, tossing the covers from his body. “Lemme shower really quickly. Hey, and make sure you text Barry about going so he can put it in his schedule.”
She pointed at him. “That is a wonderful idea.”
***
(Y/N) glanced at the watch on her wrist for what seemed like the millionth time, holding the umbrella with her other. The rain poured around her, thunder rumbling above, but she stood hopeful that the Scarlet Speedster would eventually show. They had talked about the museum for days and she’d been anticipating it ever since they agreed to meet up.
Barry had texted that he would be there in the morning, but that had been hours ago, and he hadn’t answered his phone after she’d last called. (Y/N) pursed her lips as the sky darkened, and not from the storm, wondering if he had forgotten.
Perhaps I should have given him the sword and recited the poem? She frowned and looked around, seeing couples walking around, sharing umbrellas and laughing, joy etched onto their faces. No, I must wait. He said he would be here.
But as the hours dwindled and the day turned into evening, she realized he wasn’t going to make it in time. With a sigh, she turned to the doors of the museum; most of the lights were being shut off and the workers were leaving to go home for the evening.
(Y/N) smiled sadly and gripped her umbrella, turning to walk down the street. There was always tomorrow.
***
Barry rushed back to his house, speeding into his bedroom to yank out a dress shirt, a pullover sweater, and a pair of khakis that he hadn’t yet ruined. He’d completely forgotten all about the museum trip (Y/N)’d invited him on, getting so caught up in cases and running around Central, that by the time he remembered, it was already a quarter to six.
He changed and sped through his door, the streets of Central City turning into a blur as he headed for the museum in the next state. He skidded to a stop outside the museum, eyes widening when he saw the doors shut and the lights off.
“Oh no,” he whispered, looking around for (Y/N); she was nowhere to be seen. “Oh no.”
He sprinted down the street, trying to remember if she’d said she was wearing a blue dress or a red one. He should’ve remembered earlier. He should’ve sent a text. He should’ve called. He should’ve—
WHAM!
Barry went barreling to the ground, landing atop something warm and soft. The scent of flowers and metal oil flooded his senses, and after he caught his bearings, he looked up, cheeks flushing when he realized he’d landed on a woman and more importantly, face first into her chest.
“Good evening, Bartholomew.” His eyes darted to the woman’s face, and he saw (Y/N) smiling at him. “You are late.”
He floundered. His mouth opened and closed but nothing came out except a pitiful burst of air as he scrambled off her, face as red as his suit. He bent down, hauling her up. “I’msosorryIdidn’tseewhereIwasgoingandIlandedonyouandIputmyfaceinyourchestandI’msosrry!”
(Y/N) blinked at him. “I…I did not catch that, Bartholomew. Can you repeat that? Slower, perhaps?”
He raised his hands to his face, covering them as he apologized profusely, “I am so sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t mean to be late or land on you or—or stick my face in your—I’m really sorry!”
She giggled. “I am not offended.” She reached out and took his hand, pressing it to her chest. “Many friends have rested their heads on my bosom. They are comfortable, are they not? Like the finest cushions.”
Barry’s jaw dropped and this time all that came out of him was strangled noise. “I can’t feel my face,” he whispered, and she pressed her free hand to his cheeks.
“Hmm, your face is very hot. Shall we go find somewhere cool to rest?” she asked, taking the hand still pressed against her chest; she laced their fingers. “I saw an ice cream store down the street here.”
He let himself be tugged along. Every circuit in his brain had been burned out and his heart was fluttering way too fast for him to think about anything other than calming it down. But it was impossible. Barry could feel the warmth from (Y/N)’s body, could smell the delicate fragrance of roses, could see the beauty that threatened to blind him.
(Y/N) led him around for a few moments, then stopped in front of an ice cream parlor that had a big blue sign. “Here we are.” She led them inside and glanced at the menu. “Do you want anything?”
Barry blinked, looking up, though it was all a blur, still shell-shocked. “I, uh, a milkshake? Chocolate?”
She smiled. “I will order for us. Please, go sit.”
He did as she said, collapsing into one of the seats in the corner, immediately rubbing vigorously at his face to will the blush away.
After a few moments, (Y/N) sat down across from him and placed a frozen drink down. “Here you are, Bartholomew.”
Barry glanced up to see her with her own straw in her mouth, eyes shut, face drawn in joy as she sipped her milkshake. “Thank you,” he replied. “How much was this?”
“Please do not worry about repayment. I do not need one.” She looked at him with a smile. “You came.”
Suddenly he remembered how late he was. The entire day had gone by; Barry lowered his head. “(Y/N)…I’m so sorry about not making it here earlier. I never meant to leave you here all alone.”
“You are a busy man and I understand, Bartholomew. You need not apologize to me.”
He looked up and gazed at her. “You weren’t there. I thought you’d left and gone home.”
“Of course not,” she said, eyes wide. “We said we were going to meet. I was waiting for you.” She coughed slightly. “But I had to use the restroom, so that is the reason you did not see me immediately.”
“Wait,” Barry said. “Were you…were you waiting here all day?”
(Y/N) blinked. “Yes?”
Now Barry felt like a bigger jerk, and he let his head drop again. “I feel terrible, (Y/N). I’m so sorry.”
She merely stared at him, heart beating against her rib cage and the words of her people’s poetry came back to her, but so did Hal’s words. You have to tell him.
Reaching out, she rested her hand on his, urging, “Bartholomew, will you look at me, please?”
He did as she asked, meeting her eyes. “Yeah?”
(Y/N) smiled. “You must be the speed of light, because time stops when I look at you.”
For what felt like the millionth time, Barry’s mouth dropped open. She didn’t know if that was a good or a bad sign. “I…figured you would like, a line as Harold calls it, that was scientific.” (Y/N) smiled awkwardly. “I care for you, Barry. More than the bonds of battle have forged between us and…I would like to spend more time with you. Intimate…close time with you. Just us.”
Barry nodded dumbly, turning his hand over so his palm touched hers; he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand. “I would love to, (Y/N).”
“Oh, you would?” she inquired, face full of joy and he nodded, a smile crossing his own lips.
“Absolutely. But I have one request.”
“Yes?”
Barry smiled at her. “Call me Barry.”
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despairofthefuture · 3 years
Note
"hey I heard you do animations" that's a good way to start
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Yasuhiro approaches the Ultimate Imposter, taking a large breath to calm his nerves. As he comes to a stop in front of him, the man posing as Ryota Mitari looks to the obstacle that has suddenly appeared in his way.
"U-um...can I help you?" He asks in a timid sounding voice.
"Uh...hi!" Hiro starts, glancing around at the many spirits surrounding him, including the two very familiar ones before looking back to Imposter. "You...you're uh...Ryota, right? The Ultimate Animator?"
The upperclassman nods slowly, confusion still on his face. "I am..."
Hiro beams. "Great! That's really cool!" He continues awkwardly. "Do you...uh...think you could show me?"
The imposter tilts his head. "Show you...my animations?" He repeats.
Hiro nods. "Y-yeah, if you dont mind of course!"
"Oh, of course not! Anime is a very important part of our culture after all!" The animator declared excitedly. "Here, why dont we go over to a bench?" The fake Ryota led Hiro to a bench underneath a tree, and he took out a tablet to show the fortune teller some of his works.
Hiro shuffles worriedly. He wasnt sure how to move on from here. How could he get to the topic he needed to talk about?!
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Hiro brightens up at the advice and grins. He lets out an impressed whistle, gaining Imposter's attention. "Dang, those look really good! I can see how you got your Ultimate!" He places an arm around the other's shoulders, to which 'Ryota' glances at Hiro's arm. "Speakin' of which, I never mentioned mine. I'm the Ultimate Clairvoyant! Name's Yasuhiro, or Hiro for short! Whaddya say to me reading your future as a thank you for letting me see those cool animations?"
The imposter looks up at the brunette before furrowing his brow in thought. "Ultimate Clairvoyant huh...yeah, sure! I dont see why not!" He smiles softly at Hiro.
The clairvoyant grins and claps his hands. "Alright great! Lemme just see your hand..." With that he takes one of Imposter's hands in his and, just as he had with Junko, begins tracing the other's palm with his finger.
~~~
Hiro watches in horror as a girl is impaled by several spears, the event playing on screens and forcing a group of people to watch the brutal death.
He's hit with an overwhelming sense of despair. The feeling was so strong Hiro immediately felt tears stream down his face. But...he didnt...hate the feeling? It was almost as if he wanted...more despair.
A set of images flash through his mind. War and destruction. Bloodshed and violence. The world in ruins as Imposter, now dressed as Byakuya Togami runs through crowds and kills off soldiers trying to stop him.
Another series of flashes show Imposter and 14 others being captured. Then a surge of pain erupts through Hiro's stomach and chest, forcing him to clench at those areas.
Imposter was dead. He was killed. He will be killed.
~~~
Hiro returns to the present with a loud gasp, which quickly turns into hyperventilation.
"Hiro? A-are you alright?"
The clairvoyant looks over to the imposter as his breathing settles down. He shakily nods. "Y-yeah..." He answers, his voice quivering. "B-but, uh..." He looks the other man dead in the eyes. "You wont be."
Imposter blinks, before reeling back. "I-Im sorry?!"
Hiro sighs and runs his hand through his hair. "L-look....I'm just gonna cut to the chase." He says, glancing over to Leon and Chihiro, who nod, urging him on. "...I didnt come here to learn about your animations."
The fake Ryota tilts his head. "Then...why did you approach me?"
Hiro bites his lip. "...I read the future of one of my classmates, a girl named Junko Enoshima." He begins. "The future...isnt pretty. She plans on forcing my class to kill each other, and throwing the whole world into despair. And she's going to use Ryota to do it."
Imposter's eyes widen slightly. "W-why did you say-"
"I know you're not the real Ryota Mitari." Hiro cuts him off. "I...uh...saw it. Yeah, that's it. I saw it in the visions. I know you're actually the Ultimate Imposter, and you're simply a close friend to Ryota."
The Imposter stares at Hiro for a while before he frowns and crosses his arms. "Well, if that's the case I suppose your fortunes are accurate." He says, his tone changing slightly to be a bit deeper. "If you were able to see that, which is correct, I suppose I have no reason to believe your other predictions are false."
Hiro lets out a breath of relief. "Oh thank Buddha." He mumbles.
"So what is it you need me for?" Imposter questions.
Hiro looks to him and nods. "Right. I need you to make sure Ryota never interacts with Junko. If he does, she'll use his talent to create a Despair brainwashing video to start the end of the world."
Imposter blinks at that before slowly nodding. "Very well...I suppose I can do that. Although this is a large amount of information to take in all at once."
Hiro huffs. "Tell me about it." He mutters before shaking his head. He pulls out his phone and looks up a picture of Junko, showing it to the other man. "This is Junko Enoshima. Keep an eye out for her and keep Ryota away from her at all costs."
The imposter looks at the photo and nods. "Alright. I'll warn Ryota to avoid her. Is that all?"
Hiro starts nodding before he stops. "Uh, actually...Chiaki Nanami. She's in your class, right?"
Imposter nods. "Yes. She's our class rep." A worried expression takes over his features. "...why?"
The fortune teller frowns. "She's going to be killed. And you, along with the rest of your class, will be forced to watch it." He shudders at the memory of the image. "Seeing that, plus Ryota's video, it fills you all with despair and causes you all to do...bad things. So along with keeping Ryota away from Junko, can you help me keep an eye on Chiaki?"
The imposter stares wide eyed at Hiro for a long time before slowly nodding. "O-of course." He finally replies. "I will do what I can."
Hiro lets out a breath, a heavy weight having been lifted from his chest. "Great. Thank you!" Hiro grins and begins to turn away. "If anything happens, come find me! But this should be a big help!"
With a final wave goodbye, Hiro runs off. He leans against the outside of the building, smiling happily. "That went way better than I thought it would!" He exclaims to his ghostly friends.
"Yeah!" Leon agrees. "Not only that, we dealt with the Chiaki problem too!"
"So now all we need to do is figure out about this Izuru guy?" Chihiro ponders.
Hiro nods, furrowing his brow in thought. "Yeah...that might be a bit tricky. I dunno how we're gonna get information on him." He grins and shrugs. "But we'll find a way! I'm sure of it!"
A/N: This was my first time ever writing for Imposter, so I hope I did a good job!
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elles-writing · 4 years
Text
When The Worlds Collide - Kili x reader, IV.
Pairing: Kili x reader
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Gif and pics on moodboard not mine
Warnings: fluff...just...way too much fluff...a lots of fluff tho
masterlist     part one         part two       part three
A/N: I hope you guys are going to enjoy this one. It’s really fluffy and for the next chapter I’ll have a fanart. For this one I’ve created a moodboard for you (reader) in this story, and I’m nervous to post it (you don’t want to see me when I’ll be posting it with the fanart, you really don’t).
I love your feedback guys, feel free to comment (but no hate, we’re nice and peaceful community). I wrote also one angsty two-shot, so lemme know if you want to read it or not. Aside from that, my school schedule is weird and my brain is just not used to school anymore, so today, when I was trying to study, I was just not capable of too much.)
I got four new books for quite good deal today, and I started reading one and guyss, I’m in love with reading AGAIN I’d dare to say (even though I red one page of The Hobbit yesterday and I just can’t finish it, because I know what’s gonna happed. Yes, I didn’t even watched almost whole third movie. I’m just not ready for crushing my soul like that just yet. Plus I don’t ship Kili and Tauriel. But the actress of Tauriel is funny lady.)
Tags: @moony-artnstuff​   @whenputtingpentopaper​
Moodboard:
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Your pov
You’ve woken up when morning sunlight touched your face. You threw the edge of your blanket, hanging over your head, over your eyes and decided to drift off to sleep again. It wasn’t time for waking up just yet, anyways.
You tried to grab your other cover to keep yourself warm, remembering you were indeed sick, but you found only that blanket. You furrowed brows and realized you were halfway sitting...on a couch.
I must’ve fallen asleep here yesterday, you thought. When it was? Was it that late or- You froze when you realized what happened yesterday. It cannot be possible, you thought and hesitantly opened one eye and pulled the blanket aside from your head.
Your mouth was open wide. No, this must be just dream, you thought when you noticed Kili was hugging you in his sleep and his face had peaceful expression in deep slumber. You covered your mouth with your hand. Oh my god, oh no, you thought. It was real. They were here. You looked over the living room. And scared the shit out of me, you thought.They are here and we need to think of way to send them home...you corrected yourself.
You tried to get up, carefully, not to wake Kili, but his arms only locked more around you and pressed you more to his chest.
„Kili,“ you hesitantly whispered. Nothing. He was deeply asleep. You sighed and decided to study his face, while he was not moving around all the time, only inhaling and exhaling deeply, and moving slightely in his sleep, occasionally.
His dark hair were tangled and messy, just like you’d expect from a long journey, but they were surprisingly clean, only a bit of some leaves and twigs. As if he was be climbing some tree, you thought.
You also noticed they were thick, strong and wavy at some point, which was probably mostly why they were tangled. You looked over to his face, which you could see closely now.
Aside from dark, thick eyebrows and dark, long and thick eyelashes, you’ve seen the scruff he had on his cheeks, chin and jaw. You knew he was feeling bad for it, since the longer beard, the more honourable and attractive the dwarf was, and Thorin was his father figure, so he truly wanted to prove himself, especially to him...but by human eyes, he was indeed very attractive, and his funny, kind, friendly and brave, though restless, reckless personality was something many girls and women would make to eye him at least. You felt a jolt of jealousy going through your insides when you thought of him and Tauriel. Maybe they haven’t met yet, or what if this is some alternative universe, where they‘ve never liked each other...You looked in the distance and scrunched your face, deeply in thought.
Third person pov
You were so deeply in your own thoughts you didn’t noticed that Kili’s eyes fluttered and lazily opened. He felt a weight of another body and his arms around it. He immediatelly knew who that was and looked down at you.
He’ve seen your eyes you were clearly deeply thinking about something. He was admiring your e/c eyes, their color clear and deep, your pink lips and tint of similar colour on your cheeks. He looked over your face features and thought they were perfect. He wanted to cup your face in his palms, run his hands through your hair...
He didn’t noticed you looked back at him and noticed he was awake. You slightely smiled looked away, your cheeks blushed.
„Good morning!“ Fili said and you jumped up. You and Kili looked at him as children on sleepover and he laughed.
„You should see your faces right now!“ You blushed and groaned, covering your head with your blanket and Kili quickly unwrapped his arms from you.
You felt as if he was about to go somewhere away, so you sat and got up.
„I’ll go make some tea,“ you mumbled and left to go to the kitchen. Fili turned to his brother.
„Soo, did I interrupted something?“ Kili shook his head and gave him innocent look.
„I don’t know what are you talking about, Fee.“ But he knew Fili was about to start teasing you both, not just him.
„Nah, Kee, I don’t think so. You know very well what I am talking about.“ He looked over the room and stepped to the window. He looked outside and noticed your backyard, where was sun peaking through a fog. Kili stood up next to him and asked.
„Do you think they have any goblins or orcs here?“ Fili shrugged his shoulders.
„We will find out. If there are any elves though, you know that Thorin’s going to be furious.“
„More than he already is?“ Kili grinned and both of them giggled.
„What are you two talking about?“ Asked Thorin and both young dwarves stiffened. They didn’t noticed he already woke and got up.
„It’s nothing, Uncle.“ Both answered way too quickly and with high-pitched voice they normally didn’t had.
„Which tea do you want? Oh, good morning Thorin,“ You came to the doors. It was still alien to you that now you’ve had a few dwarves, a hobbit, a wizard, an elves and another human in your house.
Both dwarves quickly got to you to escape Thorin and you giggled and shook your head. You knew why they were your favourite duo.
In the kitchen, you’ve explained to them that you had no orcs, goblins, elves, dwarves or dragons in our world, that there were only humans and animals and, well, plants.
Both of them were wondering why you were drinking black tea with milk, and so you decided to make them some in different mugs just in case they wouldn’t like it. While you were preparing it, you were explaining to them why you’ve liked it.
„Well, people drink this, because the tea by itself is strong, but the milk gives it sweeter taste and it’s not so strong. Many people drink it this way, but some add only a few drops of milk, others give quarter of milk and three quarters of tea, you can add lemon or honey, or both.“ You finished talking and handed them their cups.
„It’s surely not sweeter than you,“ Kili winked at you and drinked on his non-milk tea. You blushed. That was the side of Kili you mostly knew from the movies.
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trashcatsnark · 3 years
Note
What’s your opinion on Kerry being available to only male V when it’s mentioned in-game that he’s bi (correct me if I’m wrong, I have terrible memory)?? I feel like they should’ve had bi romance options if they were able to implement both gay and straight ones.
Oh anon, oooooh anon. I love you dearly, but you intentionally or not might as well have thrown lit dynamite in my ask box. This discourse has been such a strange beast within this fandom and I have definitely shared some vague thoughts about it before. I’m putting everything under a read more, to help stave off some....harassment or putting it in people’s lives who may not want it. 
 I still remember I was frankly heartbroken and upset when I first learned Kery wasn’t romanceable by female V when the game first officially came out, but before I played it; River and Panam weren’t even really known about, cause they weren’t talked about much in the promo material,  plus Kerry was shown in romance scenes with what looked to be female V. So, if you go back far enough you’ll find me in December cope posting and being the saddest and angriest of beans, because other than Johnny who I knew was likely off the table. He was one of the only characters I wanted to potentially romance. Now, I’m further away from it, have  processed my feelings regarding it and am more rational I believe regarding the issue. 
But, that being said, a large issue of this sort of discourse is that; no matter what anyone says, someone somwhere is upset. I’ve been insulted, blocked, accused of fetishizing gay men, and so much over my opinion regarding this matter. I’m still currently debating if I even wanna tag this, cause the issue almost always brings negativity to my blog and to me. I have very little interest in being berated for this, so we’ll see how I feel after I finish typing this all out. I’m going to try to go through all my issues, my points, my troubles and feelings about the matter. But, at the end of the day, it is merely my opinion. If someone disagrees, fine, just don’t attack people or berate them over pixels in a video game. Just dont. That’s all I ask. Okay, so I’m gonna divide this into talking points and whatever, now. 
Firstly, Kerry is bisexual. Point blank, period. I’ve seen folks try to argue that his wife was like comphet, which if you dont know means that sometimes exclusively homosexual people will try to force themselves into heterosexual relationships because society has conditioned them to believe they have to be straight. While, I’m not negating the fact that this happens, as a bisexual/pansexual (I use the terms interchangeably to define my experience and feelings)  person I’ve struggled with it when making sense of my attraction to women. It genuinely is something that happens. This is not the case for Kerry; he doesn’t ever hide his attraction to men, between TTRPG lore and the video game he has had two wives , and he is stated by game developers and TTRPG creator to be bisexual.He is bisexual. Getting that out there, saying other wise, in my opinion is a level of bi erasure. That being said, I do still have my grievances with how the game chose to handle his bisexuality and bisexuality as whole, also imo, the game generally doesn’t seem...to treat players who are attracted to men well… 
But before I get into that, I wanna make clear, I feel like Cyberpunk 2077 should have had more romance options for every orientation. If you’re not going to create a player-sexual style of romance; ie where every romanceable character is attracted to the player regardless and wish to focus on each character having their own predetermined sexuality; only have one character for each sexuality is kind of bullshit. If you’re a lesbian player and you’re not into Judy, you get nothing, except a fuck around with Meredith (who I will get to later). You’re a straight woman, but not into River, shit out of luck. You’re a gay man who’s not into Kerry, sucks to suck bud. You’re a straight man who’s not into Panam (kind dont get how you wouldn’t be but who am i to judge), well, you can fuck Meredith… so woooo. Oh also, if you’re not attracted to women, you will still be forced to watch in first person pov a sex scene with Alt and if you want Johnny to like you, you gotta date a girl. Also, all the male love interests will be sidelined mostly…. Hooray… But I digress, either go in with all romance options bi/pan/player sexual, or give more options for romance. Cause now you have the issue of people not getting the partner they hoped for and not liking their only option. Now, you got people trying to make the Judy  bi, which is lesbian erasure and lesbophobic, along with people saying Kerry isn’t bi and can’t be with women which is bi erasure and biphobic. Whereas, if you had just gone in from the get go with either more options or a player-sexual romance system; we wouldn’t be here, CDPR. 
Okay, so next thing, now that I’ve addressed my issues with the entire romance system and that yes, Kerry is bi. Should Kerry have been able to be romanced as female V? Yes and no. Which sounds vague, but I’m going somewhere. With the current set up of it; Kerry being romanceable to a female V would have unfairly given female players an additional love interest over male players. Female V would have the option of Judy, River, or Kerry. And Male V’s would have the option of Kerry or Panam. That’s not fair. I get that, inherently. CDPR painted themselves into a corner, by only letting there be two romances for “each” gender, one for “each” sexuality, and then using a canonically bi character for one of them. They played themselves, they were either gonna have to give an unfair amount of love interest to one side of their gender system or make a bi character who will only pursue one gender. So, they went for the latter. 
Now, some people feel thats fine, because Kerry having a gender preference is fine and its okay for bi people to lean a certain way in regards to gender and its okay for them to not be attracted to people. And that is true. I am a bisexual woman who leans a little more towards men, I get that. However, I have only been given one reason for Kerry’s preference for male V over female V. And it was by a developer of the game who stated that Kerry pursues Male V and not Female V because Male V reminds him more of Johnny… And I hate that. I personally, hate it so deeply, because to me it does a complete disservice to Kerry and V’s relationship and Kerry’s arc. Because even with female V you see him being preoccupied with Johnny and V’s connection to Johnny, then you see him move past that. So, to then state, its still a deciding factor in him romancing V is so wrong to me. Like why???? Why would you do that to people who like Kerry??? Why would you put that in their heads, that Kerry on some level, subconsciously or not, was thinking about Johnny when he decides to romance V. Cause that’s not in the game, in the game you get the vibe he’s moving on past Johnny, like he’s growing, developing, genuinely likes V. But that stupid tweet, just radiates rancid vibes, whyyy???  
And then, outside of that nasty tweet, I have to ask what other reason is there for why he prefers male V over fem V.  They’re...the same characters essentially, just with different pronouns and body type. They also can look like whatever you want; they’re completely customizable. So, Its based off of what the game associates with  gender characteristics and nothing else, meaning, his attraction is rooted solely in their gender and he turns down fem V by virtue of them being a woman and nothing else. Which, yeah, bisexual/pansexual people have preferences but when that preference completely excludes a gender based on nothing but gender…. Uhh????? See my issue???? 
And I’ve seen people saying, well, its better than CDPR playing into slutty will date anybody bisexual stereotypes. But, the thing is...THEY STILL DO THAT which is what drives me up the god damn wall; they managed to do slutty bi stereotypes and I don’t even get kiss the boy, which again, I get the need for fairness but wow, just wow. And lemme explain. 
Meredith is the only character, other than joytoys, whom you can have sex with regardless of gender, body type, etc. She is the only character who shows that she is attracted to V on some level regardless of gender. 
She is a one night stand. Her sex animations are the same as joytoys. She treated like a promiscuous love phobic woman.  And having characters like that is fine, my own V is promiscuous and love phobic. But, we can acknowledge that in a video game by a AAA game company having the only character who is at least physically attracted to the player no matter what, be nothing but sex fodder...isn’t great bi representation, right? 
Oh, and Kerry himself still is a promiscuous bisexual man, he just won’t romance female V because apparently, according to a dev, they don’t remind him of Johnny enough. AND THATS THE DEVS WORDS, NOT MINE, I HATE THAT. Like, Kerry is shown to have people’s lingerie around his house. He’s stated by Johnny to be someone who fucks around. He gets a blowjob from a man in a stairwell. 
The two most blatantly canonically bi character in this game are promiscuous; one wont romance V at all and just wants sex, the other will only romance a male V because at worse, he’s comparing them mentally subconsciously to his dead friend and at best….because….reasons…. Literally, from what I understand for Kerry to romance V, they have to have the “male” body type and “male” voice. Meaning, fem V could literally by all appearances look like masc V, body type wise, but because she uses female pronouns and has a feminine sounding voice...no… the stars say no… 
In my honest opinion, it is bad bisexual representation and a not so well thought out romance system for a game. 
But, that being said, I literally never romance anyone, because I’m a Johnny simp. So, the fuck do I know.
oh god do i tag this.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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orangeoctopi7 · 4 years
Text
Walking Like a One-Man Army
I guess this chapter is kinda for @soosly ? It does prominently feature Soos being a BA.
: Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 :
The three of them piled into Soos’s truck. Ford elected to slide into the back of the cab with Mabel rather than sit shotgun. He needed to tell his niece what Debbs had decided.
“Mabel, I, uh…” He said slowly, “I spoke with your mother earlier this morning…”
The colorful girl tensed and pulled the collar of her sweater up a bit. Had all their ill-fated conversations over the last couple of days left her apprehensive to even speak with him?
“...I told her I wanted to keep Dipper on as my apprentice, and that you were welcome to stay here as well. Unfortunately, she, uh, declined to grant her permission.” 
“Oh!” Mabel smiled with relief, letting her collar drop. “That’s ok! Me and Dipper already talked about it and decided not to stay here anyway, so everything works out!”
Ford’s heart sank. So Stan was wrong. The children had indeed come to realize the old researcher was a toxic influence in their lives. He tried to tell himself it was for the best, to focus on his intellect and control his emotions, but controlling anguish was a lot harder than controlling fear. He at least was able to keep his expression neutral as he found something else to distract him: nitpicking grammar.
“Dipper and I.” He corrected her mechanically. “In any case, we need to come up with a plan to confront Bill and find Fiddleford.”
“He’s got this little shelter next to one of the telephone poles.” Soos commented from the driver’s seat. “It’s actually surprisingly nice for something in the middle of the dump made completely out of scrap material.”
“If Bill’s expecting us, that’s probably where he’ll be.” Ford said gravely. “I imagine he’ll keep Fiddleford close-by, to keep a close eye on his bargaining chip. We’ll need a distraction. Bill may be an all-seeing eye, but even he has trouble splitting his attention.” 
“Oooh, I’m super amazing at being a distraction!” Mabel piped up.
“I don’t doubt that.” Ford nodded, fondness somehow managing to slip past all the other emotions he was repressing. “But I promised your brother and Stan that I’d keep you safe, so I need you to stay close to me. Soos, do you think you could be a good distraction?”
“Oh yeah, totally.” Soos said nonchalantly. “Mr. Pines asks me to be the distraction all the time! When the taxman comes, or the safety inspector, or the police….”
“Of course he does.” Ford muttered. “What I need you to do is keep Bill’s attention while Mabel and I look for Fiddleford and get him to safety. Bill should still be possessing that time travel agent, so while he won’t be able to access any of the reality-warping powers he wields in the mindscape, he will have access to any weapon from Gravity Falls’ history or future. You’ll need to be ready for anything.”
“Well, they did teach me how to disarm an opponent with a gun or knife in my karate class, so I’ll probably be ok.”
* * *
It was quieter that Mabel was used to when they reached the dump. Normally, you could hear the sound of power tools and banjo strings even from the dump’s entrance, but not today. Today was deceptively peaceful.
The peace was broken by an eerie, high-pitched laugh. It was coming from the center of the dump, but as they looked around frantically, they couldn’t see their enemy anywhere. Ford fired his blaster, obliterating a board in the fence with a one-eyed triangle carved into it. 
“Well, he knows we’re here.” He said gravely. 
“What should we do?” Mabel asked.
“Proceed with the plan. Soos, you head straight for the center of the dump, we’ll go around the long way. Mabel, do you think you’ll be able to lead me to Fiddleford’s shelter if we don’t take a direct route?”
Mabel nodded with determination, even though she was only about 50% sure she’d be able to find the place, considering she’d only been there once. 
They split up, Mabel leading Ford towards the east wall of the dump. She was pretty sure if she climbed up the pile of wrecked cars there, she’d be able to look out over the dump and figure out a way to get to McGucket’s shelter, and maybe even see where Bill was at.
While running through the dump, they heard the occasional scurry of a racoon or possum through the trash. It was clear that Ford’s already twitchy nerves were on high alert, and he leveled his blaster at every single one. Luckily, he hadn’t been startled enough to fire it yet, which was good because they were trying to sneak around while Soos was distracting Bill.
The stack of cars was within sight when they noticed more scurrying around the corner. Only unlike all the other scurries they’d heard, it seemed to be running towards them instead of away from them. Ford pointed his blaster yet again, and pulled Mabel behind him.
“PEEKABOO!” Blendin’s face wearing a contorted grin popped out from around the corner. “WOW, SIXER, YOU REALLY EXPECTED ME TO TAKE THE BAIT AND GO AFTER QUESTION MARK? PPPPFT, PLEASE! HE’S NOWHERE NEAR AS FUN TO MESS WITH AS YOU! OR SHOOTING STAR, FOR THAT MATTER.” 
Bill took a few menacing steps towards them and leaned down so he was closer to Mabel’s eye-level. “WHADDAYA SAY KID? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A NEVER-ENDING PARTY FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? I’LL MAKE SURE ALL YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS ARE THERE, AND YOU’LL NEVER HAVE TO GO TO HIGHSCHOOL! IN FACT, YOU’LL BE ABLE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GIVE ME THAT RIFT!”
“Don’t you dare speak to her.” Ford growled. 
“You’re a butt-brain!” Mabel shouted, flinging out the worst insult she could think of.
Bill shrugged Blendin’s shoulders smugly. “OH WELL. I WAS GONNA LET YOU HAVE YOUR OWN PERSONAL PARADISE BUBBLE FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS, BUT IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA COOPERATE WITH ME, I GUESS YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO SUFFER UNIMAGINABLE PAIN AND DESTRUCTION LIKE THE REST OF YOUR MISERABLE DIMENSION.” He pulled out a large rusty pipe and hefted it threateningly in his hands. “SO, WHERE’S THAT RIFT, IQ?”
“You really think I was stupid enough to bring it here with me?” Ford scoffed.
“WELL, I MEAN, YOU WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO TRUST ME.” Bill counted on his fingers. “AND TO THINK YOUR BROTHER WOULD ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOU WHEN YOU CALLED FOR HELP. AND TO USE TOO MUCH GLUE WHEN YOU TRIED TO SEAL THE RIFT. SO YEAH. I DO THINK YOU’RE THAT STUPID.”
“Well I’m not.”
“OH, LEMME GUESS. YOU LEFT IT WITH PINETREE?”
“And with Grukle Stan!” Mabel added defiantly.
Bill snorted. “YEAH, ‘CUZ I’M REAL SCARED OF HIM!”
The possessed time traveler didn’t even get a derisive chuckle out before Soos barreled into him with a flying kick.
“Hey dude, I need you to pay attention to me for the next, I dunno, five to ten minutes?” He looked over at Ford. “D’you think that’s enough time?”
Ford just nodded mutely, unsure of how else to react to the handyman’s sudden entrance.
Bill picked his possessed body up off the ground. “YOU WANT ME TO PAY ATTENTION TO YOU, QUESTION MARK? HOW DO YOU LIKE THIS ATTENTION?” He pulled out a time tape and disappeared in a flash, only to reappear a second later with a large carpenter’s hammer in his hand. He threw it at Soos, who dodged it with skills honed from ten years of karate sparring.
As Bill continued to pursue Soos, pulling out weapons from random time periods as he went, Ford pulled Mabel away, back towards the center of the dump. This was just the distraction they needed, it just happened in a different order than they’d been expecting. 
So, her original plan to look for McGucket’s shelter from the top of a trash mountain wasn’t going to work now, but she could still find it, right? She remembered that a telephone pole had been one of the main support beams in the little hut, so she just needed to follow the telephone lines! Spotting one above, she rushed ahead, now pulling Ford instead of the other way around.
Sure enough, they came upon McGucket’s hovel nearby. Too nearby. They could still hear Soos doing his best to lead Bill on a wild goose-chase on the opposite side of a pile of discarded furniture and tires. But they could also hear a low, animal-like moan from inside the shelter. The two of them rushed across the clearing, hoping to reach the fox skin that acted as a door before Bill rounded the trash pile.
Before they could reach it, two things happened.
First of all, a loud, up-beat pop song started blaring out of Mabel’s pocket. 
“Girl, oh girl, you got it all, you know.”
“But girl, oh girl, you don’t got me, no!”
Mabel slapped her forehead and pulled out her phone, trying to silence it. “Ugh, Pacifica! Bad timing!”
Second, Bill blew away the trash pile with a shot from a cannon, sending chunks of broken wood and plastic everywhere and clearing a path between him and the shelter.
“THERE YOU ARE!”
Mabel just barely managed to hold onto her phone as Ford grabbed her by the arm and practically threw her into the door. He hurtled in after her, but no second shot came. Instead, they heard a loud, frustrated groan.
“UUUGH, WHY DO YOU HUMANS MAKE WEAPONS THAT ARE SUCH A WASTE OF TIME? WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO HAVE TO REPACK THE GUNPOWDER AND ROLL IN ANOTHER BALL EVERY TIME YOU WANT TO SHOOT SOMETHING?”
“Well, it’s not that they thought it was a good idea, it’s just that they hadn’t developed the technology--” Ford started to explain when Mabel reached up and covered his mouth. He really couldn’t help himself sometimes, could he?
That same moan they’d heard before came again, louder, from under a pile of newspapers. Many of them had frantic calculations scribbled all over them. Ford reached down and brushed them aside, revealing a shivering, hyperventilating McGucket.
Mabel had seen McGucket be pretty crazy this summer. He’d jigged on an unplugged videogame for a week, ate his way out of a dinosaur, and claimed he preferred to walk backwards when she gave him a makeover. But she’d never seen him look so terrified and broken. His eyes were wide and unfocused, like he didn’t even notice they were there, and his breaths were coming in short, sharp whines. It was especially sad compared to the last time she’d seen him, when his mind really seemed like it was beginning to clear.
Ford looked down on his friend, absolutely devastated. If McGucket was looking bad compared to the last time Mabel had seen him, she could only imagine how he looked compared to the last time Ford saw him. 
“Y’KNOW WHAT, I’M JUST GONNA GO BACK AND GET ANOTHER ONE THAT’S ALREADY LOADED.” They heard Bill whine, followed by the zap of the time tape being used.
McGucket moaned again at the sound of Bill’s voice, shutting his eyes tightly and clutching his head. That seemed to snap Ford out of his shock, and he reached down and scooped the old inventor into his arms.
“Let’s get out of here.” He told Mabel.
Just as they ran out the door, Bill reappeared in front of them with another cannon.
“UH-UH-UH! FOUR-EYES ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I GET WHAT I WANT, SIXER!”
“Just keep running!” Ford shouted to Mabel. They picked up the pace and just barely got out of the way in time to avoid the cannonball that ripped through McGucket’s shelter.
“Dudes, over here!” Soos called to them, where he was trying to finish reloading the other cannon Bill had abandoned after less than a minute of trying. “We can fight cannon with cannon!”
“There’s no time!” Ford barked. “We need to either get out of here or find cover!”
“Cover, huh?” Soos said thoughtfully, scratching his chin, until an idea popped into his head. “Oh! You’ve seen that old timey video of the dude who takes a cannonball to the stomach and it just bounces off of him? I’ve always wanted to try that!”
Ford and Mabel stared at him for a beat, dumbstruck.
“I say follow your dreams, Soos!” Mabel encouraged him.
“Yes, if you believe you’re capable, I see no reason not to give it a shot.” Ford agreed.
When Bill reappeared with another cannon, Soos stood squarely in front of it while Ford and Mabel made a run for the truck.
“OH, THIS OUGHTA BE GOOD!” Bill smirked as he fired.
Soos braced himself just as the cannonball collided with his stomach. While the iron ball did bounce off his gut and drop to the ground, Soos was also thrown back almost three feet. He landed on his back but the wind was already knocked out of him. As soon as he could move again, he rolled over and threw up.
“Ohhoho… dude…” the handyman muttered. “I knew that was probably gonna hurt, but it still hurt way worse than I was expecting. Ugh, I think I might’ve cracked a rib.”
No answer. Not even a mocking remark from Bill.
“Dudes?” He slowly got up to his feet and looked around. Ford and Mabel had run away, and Bill had chased after them. Oh well, at least Soos had bought them some time. He reached into his pocket to call his abuelita for a ride home, but alongside his phone, he felt another object. His truck keys. “Uh-oh.”
* * *
Despite Soos’s best efforts, Bill was still hot on their tail. Fiddleford squirmed weakly in Ford’s arms as they passed another mountain of garbage. His eyes seemed to briefly focus on Ford, but they looked far, far away.
“I’m jus’ barely gettin’ my mind back now, I don’t wanna lose it again...” The old inventor murmured feebly before resuming his catatonic state. It felt like someone had just stabbed Ford in the heart with an icy dagger, and he picked up the pace.
The sign above the dump’s exit soon came into view, but there were still several more piles of junk between here and there. As they fled, Mabel turned and fired her grappling hook at an old kitchen sink sticking half-way out the bottom of one of the larger junk piles behind them. The hook caught on the faucet and Mabel yanked back on the line hard, dislodging the kitchen sink and collapsing the garbage mountain in a landslide. 
“Let’s see Bill blast his way through that!” She cheered.
Ford knew it was too soon to relax. As long as Bill was possessing this time travel agent, he had access to any weapon in human history, or humankind’s future, for that matter. Although, come to think of it, why hadn’t Bill used a weapon from the future on them yet? Perhaps that would draw the attention of the Time Paradox Avoidment Enforcement Squadron?
“There’s the truck!” Mabel exclaimed, bringing Ford out of his speculations. They skidded to a stop as they finally reached the vehicle and Ford tried to open the door.
It was locked.
Soos still had the keys.
Ford swore under his breath as he searched for something to pry the door open with. Yes, he could break into the truck, and yes, he could hotwire it, but that all took time! Time they didn’t have!
He was expecting Bill to step out of the dump any second now, but he didn’t appear. Instead, what at first glance appeared to be a flock of ravens rose out of the nearby woods. At the same time, Fiddleford thrashed in his arms and began to yell incoherently. Stanford tried to lay him in the back of the truck gently, so he wouldn’t drop him. The old researcher’s blood ran cold. It sounded almost identical to the gibberish his friend had spouted immediately after the failed first portal test. 
As the mysterious flock drew near, Ford began searching for a rock, a golf club, anything he could use to break open the truck’s windows and get inside, all while keeping a close eye on the approaching swarm. As they came closer, he could see they weren’t birds, they were bats! But why would a swarm of bats take flight in the middle of the day? They were close enough to start blocking out the sun when Ford realized they weren’t bats. They were Eye-bats!
He pulled out his blaster and started firing into the swarm. “Mabel, find something to break into the truck with!”
She nodded and took a step back towards the dump, when Bill finally made his leisurely way to the exit. Ford couldn’t help but notice that Fiddleford’s cries stopped almost as soon as the possessed time traveler appeared.
“YOU FLESH-SACKS AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE!” Bill crowed. “NOT UNTIL I GET THAT RIFT! AFTER THAT, I HONESTLY COULDN’T CARE LESS.”
Just as Bill took another menacing step towards Mabel, Soos appeared, sledding down a trash mountain on a car door. He crashed into Bill and kept going until colliding into the side of his truck.
“Uh… I got the keys.” The handyman said in a daze, holding them up triumphantly.
Ford grabbed the keys and helped him up and into the shotgun seat. “I think I’d better drive.”
“Thanks dude, I appreciate it.” Soos said with a chuckle, then clutched his stomach. “Ooof, ugh, that’s… that’s definitely bruised.”
The truck zoomed away just as Bill rushed for the truck bed where Fiddleford was still laying. The swarm of Eye-bats descended on them, and Ford rolled down his window, steering with one hand and firing his blaster into the flock with the other. He knew it wasn’t exactly the safest position for his friend to be in, nearly unconscious in the bed of a speeding, reckless pickup truck, but he couldn’t exactly pull over and buckle him in next to Mabel. Not if they didn’t want to be overtaken by Eye-bats. The old researcher just had to hope that his old friend would be able to hold out until they reached the shield spell.
* * *
Stan was just sitting and watching tv like this was a perfectly normal day. Dipper wondered how he could possibly do it, just push all the danger and worry aside and vegg out like that. Sure, Stan wasn’t really invested in McGucket’s safety, but he had to care what might happen to Mabel, Ford, and Soos, right? 
Of course, Dipper had known Stan long enough that he knew the old conman tended to express his emotions in a weird way. He teased and noogied to show affection, loaded on chores instead of compliments, and lied to the people he loved to try and keep them safe. Not to mention he’d spent the last thirty years trying to bring his lost brother home with an incredibly dangerous machine, while also pretending everything was normal. Maybe Stan was just really good at ignoring danger and worry by this point. And wow, that was a depressing thought. 
Dipper kept vigilant watch out the front window, searching for any suspicious activity while also waiting anxiously for the return of Soos’s truck. He’d been sitting there for maybe fifteen minutes when the phone rang. It rang two more times, and Stan made no move to answer it. Dipper was unwilling to leave his post himself, but Stan was just watching old reruns of Baby Fights!
“Uh, Grunkle Stan?” Dipper called out after the fourth ring. Maybe he’d turned down his hearing aide?
“I hear it kid.” Stan grunted.
“Well, aren’t you going to get it!?”
“It’s probably just that triangular jerk, tryin’ to distract us. And if not, whoever it is can just leave a message.”
“But what if it’s Mabel or Soos?”
Dipper was distracted from his complaining when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. A car was coming down the dirt road towards the Mystery Shack. The boy seriously doubted the rescue mission would be back already.
Stan got up with a grunt from his chair to see what had caught Dipper’s attention. “There, see? What’d I tell ya? Wouldn’t’ve noticed whoever this yahoo is if you’d been trying to listen in on me while I was on the phone. When you know somebody’s after ya, you gotta keep distractions to a minimum.”
“You were just watching TV!” the boy gestured back to the flickering CRT.
“Eh, it’s a rerun, I’m not really payin’ attention to it, just need something to calm my nerves.”
The mystery car drove out of the trees. It wasn’t a car at all, it was a limo. One Dipper recognized from the Northwest’s fleet.
“Well, this ain’t gonna be good.” Stan grimace.
“M-maybe it’s just Pacifica coming to ask for help again?” The boy said hopefully, although his heart wasn’t really in it.
Sure enough, the Northwest stepping out of the limo was Preston. He looked around like everything about the Shack was a personal insult to him before stepping up to the door and knocking with a gloved hand.
Stan grabbed the taxidermied fake dodo sitting on a small table in the corner and reached under its wing, pulling out a small handgun, which he held behind his back as he opened the door. Dipper wasn’t quite sure how to feel about the fact that his uncle was answering the door with a loaded gun in his hand. Sure, they were all in danger from Bill at the moment, but he really didn’t want Stan to go to jail for shooting one of the most important people in Gravity Falls, even if Preston probably deserved it.
“Whaddya want?” Stan asked gruffly.
Preston’s small, forced smile seemed painful. “Aheh, yes, well, I suppose I’ll get right to the point then. I’m here to purchase your… I suppose this qualifies as a business on some level? My opening offer is two million dollars for the building and the land it occupies.”
“Hah! Yeah, right!” Stan barked. “I wouldn’t sell this place to a scumbag like you for twenty million!”
“Well, how about fifty million?” Preston asked coolly.
Stan froze, his eyes wide. He stared the billionaire down, trying to decide if he was bluffing. It sure didn’t seem like a bluff to Dipper. The boy knew the Northwests threw that kind of money around like it was nothing, because to them, it was.
“Not for a hundred million.” Stan said, although it was less of a defiant denial and more of a fishing offer, trying to gauge how high Preston was willing to go.
“How about a hundred and fifty million?” Preston offered.
“Higher.” Stan shook his head.
“Grunkle Stan!?” Dipper cried indignantly.
“Ah-ah!” Stan pushed him back without even turning to look. “Not now kid, the grownups are talking.”
“Two hundred million?” Preston asked, his cool smile starting to slip.
Stan shook his head. “Uh-uh. Higher.”
“Three hundred million?” Mr. Northwest ventured again through clenched teeth.
“Higher!”
“F-five hundred million?” 
“I’m thinking twice that much.”
“Seriously!?” Preston finally exploded. “You want a billion dollars for this--this hovel!?”
“Y’know what, you’re right.” Stan shook his head. “I’m not askin’ enough. Two billion!”
The Northwest patriarch looked like he very much wanted to strangle Stan.
“C’mon Northwest, I know you’re good for it!” Stan smirked.
“Absolutely not! Seven hundred and fifty million, and that’s my final offer!”
“Welp, my final offer’s still two billion, so you can either pony up or get off my porch.”
“....Fine.” Preston hissed, the veins in his forehead popping.
Stan stuck out his hand for Preston to shake, but as soon as the billionaire reached for it, the conman yanked it away.
“Psych!” Stan chortled. “Hah! I just wanted to see how far I could go before you chickened out! You couldn’t give me your whole dirty fortune for this place!”
It took Preston a moment to regain his composure. “I beg you to reconsider, Mr. Pines.” He said with a dangerous edge to his voice. “Take it from someone in the real estate business, property can lose value so quickly.”
“Yeah, the answer’s still no.” Stan said flatly. “Now get outta here. Don’t think I won’t call the cops!”
“I’m afraid you’ll find they’re busy at the moment. I just made a rather large donation so they’re holding a banquet. Even if you could pry them away from it, I doubt they’d be willing to arrest the man that just doubled their salary.”
“Oh, well, if you’re so sure the cops won’t be coming.” Stan pulled the gun out from behind his back.
Mr. Northwest finally backed off, although he shared a long glare with Stan before getting back into his limo. “This isn’t over, Pines!”
“Tell it to someone who cares!” Stan shouted after him.
Dipper looked up at his uncle with awe as he shut the door. “Grunkle Stan, that was awesome!”
Stan rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice you actually thought I was gonna take his offer.”
Dipper blushed and laughed sheepishly.
The old conman sighed as he sat back down in his recliner. “Eh, guess I can’t blame you. I was actually tempted for half a second. Then I remembered that guy’s a lying cheating crook, and he wasn’t gonna actually pay anything for this place. Still, two billion dollars, wouldn’t that be somethin’!”
“Grunkle Stan, no amount of money is worth the end of the world as we know it.” Dipper reminded him sharply.
“I know that!” Stan retorted, insulted. “I’m just sayin’, if I’d been able to trick him outta that much, heh, that would’ve been the con of a lifetime.”
“I-I’m sorry,” Dipper stammered, taking up his watch at the window again. “I shouldn’t doubt you. I’m just… I’m just really worried, y’know. Bill’s using more and more people to try and get at the rift. The Northwests are the most powerful people in town. You got him to leave for now, but he’s probably gonna hire thugs or something.”
“I know you’re worried, kid.” Stan said sadly. “I wish you didn’t have to worry about all this junk, but at the very least, you don’t gotta worry about this. I’ve had to hole up against hired thugs in this Shack before. ‘Course, this time I’m not gonna be able to fake my death to get ‘em to give up and go home.”
Dipper grimaced. This conversation wasn’t really reassuring him. 
Stan sighed again. “Look, bud, I know Bill’s got a lot of people in his pocket, but time’s on our side, right? Eventually, that glue you found is gonna set, and then what’s he gonna do? Besides, you and your sister are going home next weekend anyway, and then you won’t have to worry about a thing.”
Dipper turned to look back at his uncle. “I’ll still worry about you. And Ford. And everyone else left here in Gravity Falls.”
Stan felt his heart swell when he realized how much the boy cared about him. It didn’t matter if he was safe, if his family was still in danger. Stan was all too familiar with that feeling, and he didn’t like the thought of this twelve-year-old kid being burdened with it.
“Well then, we’re just gonna have to figure something out then, aren’t we?”
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achtung-attitude · 3 years
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CHAPTER 36: Weezer - Part 1
From his porch on Mulholland Drive, All-Kill sits, looking out across Los Angeles. The view is beautiful at night, but on this particular morning, it looks muggy and uncomfortable. “Yeon-in,” he calls. 
At his summons, the wolf appears with a bottle of Korean soju held in its jaws. With surprising dexterity, it places the bottle on a small table next to its master. All-Kill pets his companion between the ears, then unscrews the cap, pouring the rice wine into a small glass and sipping from it.
“Little early for that, isn’t it?” T’onga says, stepping out of the house and standing behind the chair.
“I’m in a celebratory mood… Have you taken care of everything? The stragglers and loose ends?” the boss replies, keeping his eyes on the view.
“Yeah. Of course,” she says numbly.
“Good. Then the time to strike is now. Go to where Dust is and use HOUSE OF PAIN to eliminate him. No matter what you say or what it takes, do that above all else. It makes no difference what kind of ability Dust has. Once you get him into the room, he’s no match for you. I have every confidence. As far as I’m concerned, we’ve already won.” He punctuates his statement with another sip of soju and a smile.
“Right… Where’s Sang-ok?” T’onga asks.
“At his apartment. I’ll call him over when you’re done.”
“…And Sumni?” 
At the mention of this name, there is a long pause between the two, as All-Kill places his glass down. “…She’s on standby, as usual. Why? What difference does it make?”
“Oh… it doesn’t. I was just wondering where everybody was. See you later, boss…” she turns a leaves, stepping back inside the house. All-Kill turns his head and keeps his eye on her until she leaves his sight. The wolf at his feet whines softly.
“Anaheim…” he mutters, and nothing more.
                                                         ---
The Anaheim Convention Center and Arena! One of the largest gathering spots in all of Southern California, a stone’s throw away from the famous Disneyland, home to every sort of convention for every sort of event, from company-wide get-togethers, to the biggest sporting event, down to the most niche of fan conventions. And this time of year, it's home to the one and only...
TubeCon, the world’s convention for the no. 1 video-sharing network, VidTube! Here, everyone from video bloggers, pranksters, game streamers and the ever underappreciated animators gather to engage with their fans and celebrate their work. 
They mill about like termites, some old, but most young, moving between stall after stall, buying merch, taking selfies. Among them are content creators, many of whom film themselves on their phones. Their voices can be heard clearly over the general din.
“EY ITS UR BOY MERCINATOR MEETING UP WITH SOME FANS!!!”
“EY WHAT UP GUYS IT'S YO BOY RATMATT HERE AT TUBECON!!!”
“WE'RE THE SLY BROTHERS AND WE'RE HERE AT TUBECON TO GET PEOPLE'S REACTIONS TO MEETING US!!!”
At the far end of the auditorium, three men in their thirties play video games on a couch under the scrutiny of over a hundred people. 
“Julio,” one demands of his bearded companion, “would you rather eat a man or acquire a nice tan?”
“I don’t… What kind of question is that, Neil?” Julio splutters.
“Julio, answer the question!” demands the third.
“What is this place...?” Kilo mutters, taking in the atmosphere with distaste, having found himself and his friends beckoned here.
“This is probably what Hell looks like,” Moya remarks, with a thousand-yard stare. In the midst of this controlled chaos, she and Kilo stand protectively between Shizuka, who stares doe-eyed into the crowd, searching for something. For someone. Frowning, she reaches into her inside pocket and pulls out the message for the hundredth time. 
I WILL MEET YOU AT ANAHEIM and a drawing of an impossible triangle, written in permanent marker, and three tickets to this very convention. Nothing else was in the envelope delivered to Jerome’s mansion. Shizuka turns the message around, but all she sees on the back is the marker ink bleeding through the paper.
“Whoever it was that sent that letter…” Kilo grumbles, peering over her shoulder at it, “ least they could’ve done is be a little more specific. So what now, cop?” he turns to Moya, “We just supposed to stand around here, waitin’ for somebody to walk up on us?”
“This is our best move,” Moya replies, squinting suspiciously into the crowd, “For now, we have to assume the worst and that this is a Congregation trap. They’ve been one step ahead of us this whole time, and even now they still have the advantage. But waiting around in C-King’s house won’t get us any closer to stopping them, so we may as well take the chance and handle what comes of it. And besides… if T’onga really did send that message, then I don’t know when we’ll get another chance to get this close to her. No matter what happens, we can’t get separated. As long as we stick together, I’m confident we can take anything that comes our way!”
“Hrrmh… I hope you’re right…” Kilo says. Shizuka says nothing during this exchange, but looks up from the letter, glaring resolutely. 
“HEY, YOU GUYS!!” shouts a loud, raucous cry, directed at the three of them. Immediately, SATURN BARZ and WITCH MOUNTAIN come out, only to recede soon after. A man in his late 20s wearing mirror-shades suddenly stands right in front of Shizuka.
With painfully artificial exuberance, the man in sunglasses shouts, “You’re next in line, huh, bros?! Great!! Don’t be shy, I always have time for fans! Here, lemme get that for you!” He says, taking the paper from Shizuka’s hand.
“Ah…! Hey, wait…!!” she starts, but the guy soons hands it back to her, but not before scrawling chicken scratch on the back in red ink.
“Who the fuck is this…?” Kilo mutters. He then glances behind him and notices for the first time a line has formed behind them, composed of teenage girls and boys, the eldest surely no older than 14. Without moving from their spot, the trio appear to have become part of an autograph line.
“Now you got your autograph, how about a selfie?!” the shaded vlogger announces to Shizuka, already pulling out a smartphone and attaching it to a telescopic pole. “It’ll be legit, for real! You’re bound to get a ton of likes on your feed once people see me on it!”
“Ah… N-no, thanks,” Shizuka responds, taken aback, “I’m kind… of waiting for-” 
“Come on, honey, no need to be shy!” he announces again, sidling up beside her with his selfie stick raised over them, “You’re talking a major boost in online cred if you get seen with me! I’m kind of a big deal on YouTube, in case you didn’t know!” Bearing over her, he reaches a hand across her shoulders, “And hey, if we hang out a little more, maybe I can give you a few tips on how to get your own channel started! I could send a few early subscribers your way, if you do me a couple favors. What do you sGGLKH!!” 
He chokes, his tongue lolling out as Moya lifts him, one-handed, by the back of his t-shirt collar. Kilo, meanwhile, grabs the selfie stick out of his hand, breaks it in half over his knee, then pitches the phone to the other side of the auditorium. The teenagers in the line behind them gasp. Moya drops him, and they and Shizuka moves away from him, stepping around him like garbage.
“H-Hey! Wait up!!” The vlogger shouts, rubbing his neck and beginning to pursue them, “Hey! You guys! Who do you fuckin’ think you are?! Hey, I said--!!” Kilo and Moya turn at once, fixing him with furious expressions. “Yeah, what?”, they say at the same time.
The vlogger appears to forget how to speak for a moment. Then he scurries off to retrieve his phone, shouting back, “My followers are gonna hear about this, you hear me?!”
Shizuka hardly notices his departure, merely brushing lint off her shoulder. Kilo and Moya exchange a concerned glance. 
                                                         ---
The vlogger weaves his way through the crowd, eventually finding his phone lying on the ground with a cracked screen. Upon sight, he rushes to retrieve it, but crashes into a tall man in a hoodie from behind. “Hey! Watch where you’re going, jackass!” he berates before stooping to pick up his phone. The guy in the hoodie slouches, removing his earbuds from his ears and scratching his oversized afro. 
Before the vlogger stands back up, he starts wheezing. He manages to release a few choked coughs, which go unnoticed by anyone, before his neck and face begin to swell up like a balloon and his face turns a shade of pale blue. 
“Anaphylactic shock, huh? Nasty...” says Toto, and nothing more. By the time he finishes his remark, the vlogger is already dead and he has lost all interest in him. He peers over the crowd. His eyes fall upon the trio, then he slides himself into the back corridors.
Without a care in the world, he strides through the service hallways, eventually coming to the security control center. He opens the door with a stolen clearance card and enters the room, shutting the door behind him. Two dead security guards are propped up against the wall, their faces blotchy and swollen. Toto sits down at the surveillance desk and finds the trio on one of the monitors.
“They’re clinging to each other like…” he mutters to himself, keeping them in sight at all times. “Like… Like, uh… Liiiike… Oh! Like tar and feathers! … No, no, not like that, not like tar and feathers, more like…” he stops abruptly and furrows his brow deeply, searching for the correct analogy. “Flies on hot shit? No, no… Oh, yeah! Like atomic particles! Two little electrons orbiting around a neutron/proton center! That’s perfect!” He smiles, delighted. Then his smile drops.
“Wait, hold on, if the three of them are an atom, then wouldn’t splitting them up be totally bad?” he mutters, beads of sweat suddenly appearing on his forehead, “When you split an atom up, you get nuclear fusion, in other words a big fuckass huge explosion…! Applyin’ that here… Dust wanted me to separate the Joestar princess from her friends, but what if that’s a bad idea…?! What if the best bet is to take ‘em all here and now, together…?! No no no, fighting ‘em all at once is no good either, their abilities are too strong…! 
“Aaagh, did I do enough, did I miss anything?! I been here for an hour and I made sure to touch as many people as I could, but what if it ain’t enough?! What if all the people I came into contact left already?! Uuuurghh…!!” he frets manically over this, pinching his temples as his thoughts race. Then at last he freezes, and his relaxed posture returns. 
“Don’t be stupid,” he admonishes himself, “It’s just an expression, they ain’t really atoms. They just people. Caught in the flow of fate, just like everybody. Does no good to worry over how things’ll turn out. Split ‘em up, cram ‘em together… It’s all the same at the End of Time…” Fully calmed down, he reaches for the microphone and leans into it. 
Affecting an officious, professional tone, he speaks into the PA, “Attention, all convention-goers, attention all convention-goers. The Paulie Paul panel event will be commencing in ten minutes. Please proceed to the cordoned area in Hall D in an orderly fashion. Thank you.” Finished, he watches with satisfaction at the silent stampede that begins, which slams into the trio, tearing them apart. 
He reaches into his front pocket and pulls out a pre-rolled spliff. He regards it for a moment, taking in the herbal scent, before shaking his head. “No, no… No time. Gotta work…” he says, getting up and leaving the security office, heading for the exhibit halls.
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heyhyunjiin · 6 years
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Merman!Hyunjin AU
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(Hello! So those recent pictures of Hyunjin with green contacts gave out some demon au feels but for me, it gave more of a merman feel y’know? SO HERE WE GO. P.S. THIS IS SUPER LONG AND I’M REALLY SORRY!) * let’s start with how you meet •Your family was visiting a nearby island in your country bc… you’ve got a lot of islands there. •everything was going fine at first •selfies here and there while the guide made terrible puns •weather was nice too (hA, for now) •BUT •the guide suggests on showing your fam the awesome harmless animals and fruits in the specific island you guys were on •your family is ecstatic! bc animals are cool. •you saw some rad lizards, lil snakes that had no venom, these thicc beetles, and more. •well you were sorta gazing at the critters for too long bc when you looked up, your family was gone. •like you were alone at this point. •you called out to them but received no reply. •after a few minutes of mindlessly searching for them, you had no clue where they went. •there was no cellphone reception and the only thing you had was your backpack filled with snacks, water, your underwater camera, and phone. •AS IF YOUR LUCK COULDN’T GET ANY WORSE, the sky started turning into a really dark color. •oof •sprinkles of rain started falling and you were getting a little more worried bc the ground was getting a bit slippery to walk on. •you tried remembering the route back to the boat but everything looked the sAME! •the rain becomes more aggressive and you search for some shelter bc at this point you needed a quiet place to think. •AND BEHOLD! a cave •it was hidden through some vines and rubble but you managed to squeeze yourself inside. the opening was pretty narrow and very dark with a dim light coming from the other side. •you keep walking till you reach the middle of the cave that had a vast underwater paradise within it
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•your mouth hung open bc wOw! it’s such a beautiful place but no one else would witness it bc it’s not included in the vacation brochure •you took out your camera to snap a photo of the beautiful area •as you checked the photo, a silver slither of... something catches your eye. the thing was behind some rocks and appeared to be peaking out from them in the picture. then the camera slips from your hands and slides down the rocks and directly into the water * it went “ploop” * you leaned over the water and just searched for your camera but you couldn’t see it??? * wat? * you literally felt like shoving your head in the water bc how could u do such a thing? your camera was a present and now you lost it. * your hand found its way to your necklace that you toyed with when you were nervous/upset. * “i’m so doNe. how in the heck could this get any worse?” you huffed to yourself. * “...well you could fall in the water and die?” a voice said nonchalantly from behind a rock. * deFENSE mode ActivATED! you peered cautiously at the area where you heard the voice * “...is someone there?” you asked * “nah. just a talking rock.” the voice sounded deep and like it belonged to a male but you weren’t sure. * “Show yourself.” you requested, half hoping it isn’t some sort of terrifying monster and the other half you hoped it would be someone who could help. * a handsome hyunjin appears, swimming towards you. * you were so mesmerized! this boy was so attractive like his face was scultped precisely by the gods themselves. his hair was as dark as the night but his eyes were a nice mint green color with black pupils. * you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in * he chuckled. wow his voice is dEEP. “...ah, how do you humans say it? cat’s got your tongue?” * you were stumped. how in the world did he get into this cave through the pool? * your eyes looked into the water and found something resembling a fish tail that was connected to... HIM? * he followed your gaze and chuckled again at your surprised expression. * this guy even waved his tail at you from underwater. * and your eyes were still as wide as saucers. * “impressed?” He asked you all smug. * you whirled your backpack straight at his face to see if he was,,, real? * he clutched his nose because that fucking hurt :) * “okay... ow.” was all he said. * “m-mermaid!” you uttered out. * he rubbed his aching nose and said, “the correct term is merman but yeah, you get the gist.” * whAt wHat whaT?! * you were in shock because 1. you didn’t consider merpeople as real until now and 2. you were speaking to one * “you’re real... you’re actually real.” you said after taking a couple breaths. * he nodded and gave you some more moments to process it. * “you’re surprisingly calm for a human. aren’t you afraid i’m gonna eat you or something?” he asked. * “if you were gonna eat me, you would’ve done so already.” you pointed out. * “...and what are you doing here anyways?” you added. * “i should be asking you that since this is sorta my place.” he said. * you kinda ignored his previous statement because his tail caught your eye again.
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* lemme say this: his tail was really pretty. it was metallic silver but depending on the sunlight, it appeared black in some areas. * “...are you gonna like... tell me your name or something?” he asked you. * you tore your eyes away from his tail because you didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable. * you gave him your name and he gave you his. * SO LET ME SPEED IT UP A BIT * hyunjin and you discussed how you came to your predicament and to your current situation. * you both tried to come up with a solution on how you can get found but it all either ended up with him being discovered or you dying from trying to swim to the boat. * he saw the upset look on your face and it made him feel kinda bad?? like he totaLLY didn’t mind your presence in his cave (it’s literally his chill area when he wants to be away from the other mermen!straykids.) bc he found it kinda comforting to talk to someone new (he loves his other mer friends tho don’t get me wrong!!) but the upset look you had on was unsettling for him. * to get your mind off of things, he pointed at your backpack and asked what was inside. * you said that it was food and water. * “human food?” he asked all cute & curious * you came to the realization that this guy probably hasn’t eaten any human food in his life. * you whipped out some granola bars from your bag and handed him two. * he held one in each hand like an adorable little kid. he was skimming through the name, ingredients, nutrician facts, etc. * “have you ever tried human food before?” you asked him. * he shook his head for a no. you showed him how to open the snack and he took a small bite out of one of the bars * you’re literally sharing food with a mythical creature right now. * suddenly, your mind came to the realization that he could feel ill from eating human food. * his reply was simple, “if i get sick from this then...oh well.” * HE ENDS UP LIKING IT! * you two start talking about your favorite foods and his food selections were seaweed, kelp, clam, etc. * you tried to explain the concept of some of your favorite treats but he still couldn’t really grasp the info. (it was alright tho bc he was still really enchanting with a confused expression) *  you also ask him what life was like as a merman and he answered all your questions to the best of his ability. * unfortunately?? you heard the familiar voice of the guide shouting from a distance near the entrance of the cave. * you both stared at the source of the sound and the chill mood you both once had suddenly turned....sad. * you kind of didn’t wanna part with your new friend. * “uh, guess i got the help i needed after all!” you awkwardly said. * hyunjin nodded understandingly and watched you stand up to gather your belongings. * “it was nice meeting you, dude. even though it was only for a short time.” you said through a sad smile. * “same to you, (y/n)...” he said with the same expression. * you took a few strides away from the pool but turned around and saw him still swimming in the same location where you two were just chatting seconds ago.   * “do you know that pier with a restaurant on a big yellow boat?” you asked. * he nodded. “yeah, below that pier is a hangout spot for us. what about it?” * you sheepishly toyed with your necklace as you said, “well, my family and i own that restaurant and if you wanted to speak with me again, you can find me there.” * tHIS BOY WOULD BE GRINNING SO WIDE BC HE GETS TO SEA YOU AGAIN (ahaha sorry.) * he agrees that he’ll visit you there soon. (by that he means the next day lol) * he pulls out an object from behind a rock and hands it to you. * IT’S YOUR CAMERA!!! * ah you could practically jump in the water and give this kid a hug. * “I saw it sinking down earlier before I revealed myself and saw how torn up you were about losing it... so here.” * “thanks!” you said and then, asked if you could take a photo of him for your scrapbook. * of course he didn’t know what a scrapbook was but agreed nevertheless... you reminded yourself to bring your scrapbook to the restaurant next time so you can show it to hyunjin. * (i’m not saying his smile in the photo was the sweetest you’ve ever seen... but that’s exactly what i’m saying. you only took a photo of his face and upper torso tho, avoiding his tail in the shot in case someone got a hold of your camera.) * you waved goodbye to him as you made your way towards the entrance of the cave and left with the guide who took you back to your worried family at the boat. AHHHHH THIS WAS LONG. if you want some more mermen!straykids au’s feel free to request hehe.  I’M OPEN TO A PART 2 TO THIS BTW! I’M SORRY IF THIS WASN’T PLEASING... I HAVEN’T WRITTEN FOR A WHILE ASIDE FROM SCHOOL PAPERS XD
mermen!straykids au links: bang chan: https://tinyurl.com/mermanchan
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raindrenchedstories · 6 years
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Before the infection 4
Despite the finality of the decision. The girls made several preparations before heading to Bob’s residence They waited until early the next morning. Just as the sunlight painted the back roads an ashy grey.
“Cloudy today.” Pam remarked. She was tired. Oh so tired. Every time she turned the wrong way in her sleep, she was graced with a new wave of pain blooming from her damaged ear. Because of this, she maybe got four to five hours. Maybe.
Now she rested her chin on her palm watching the world slowly pass by. The black truck rumbled down the abandoned back roads. The woman drummed her fingers on her cheek. She hadn’t said much after her bout of insanity the day before.
Roxy sighed. “Yep. Think we’ll get rain?” A few fat droplets splattered against the windshield, answering her question. Pam just smirked. It was lucky they hadn’t let the animals out yet.
“Should have brought a hat.” The taller woman eyed the source of the rain with a smile. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad. The fields would be watered for free. That was a good thing. Maybe the ground would be too wet for those springy mother fuckers to properly jump. Or aim.
They weren’t ready for what they saw. Sitting outside Bob’s yard, happened to be a few dozen infected. All with faces Roxy sadly recognized. “Shit... There’s my mom. And my auntie June...Oh...Little cousin Jeremy.” The girl fell back. Pam paused. Bewildered at them all.
“You have to be shitting me!” The infected milled about. Not noticing the vehicle at hand. They seamed more occupied with beating the piss out of one another. It gave Roxy time to have a good cry. All the while Pam soothed a hand over her back and muttered little comforts.
The two women sat in silence a while before Roxy heaved a sigh. “Hey Pam?”
“Yeah?”
“You still remember how to break into a house? Or were you too coked out of your mind?” It wasn’t a subject Roxy brought up much. Pam didn’t like to talk about it. But her history of drug abuse actually came into play now. She heaved a sigh.
“You’re asking now?...Yeah. But it’ll make a shit ton of noise for a second. If he has decent locks. And that’s only assuming he didn’t install an alarm.” She sighed. Reaching for the back seat and pulling a bottle of water out for each woman. They both took a long sip before Roxy spoke again.
“He didn’t. Superstitious bastard thought they were government monitoring devices.” She patted the steering wheal scanning the remains of her family. “I don’t see Bob. Good news is, I also don’t see any specials.”
Pam watched the infected for a moment before searching the glove compartment. She pulled an old mixtapeCD from it’s place. Closing the compartment. She then passed it to Roxy.
She looked it over sighing. “Nickelback? Seriously?” She nudged Pams arm with a laugh.
“Oh sue me. Look I did something like this a few times. Only with the police. I want you to roll the windows down a bit and crank this. These things are sound sensitive so they’re going to follow you.” Pam pointed down the road a bit.
“I want you to drive a few miles up the road. Slow enough that they can keep up. Fast enough so they don’t catch you. When you’re far enough away speed up and kill the music. Take the main road back and come back here. I’ll have every thing I can piled up next to the door and waiting for you.” She instructed.
Roxy just stared at her dumbfounded. “Oh fuck that! I’m not leaving you. We don’t know if there’s infected in the house! I’ll agree to most of the plan but you’re coming with me.” She slammed the CD into the player as fast as it would go.
Pam couldn’t argue with good sense really. So she sat back. Rolling her window down enough for the rough guitars to start screaming out and be heard. The engine roared in challenge as the infected spilled over the short garden fence outside Bob’s beat up old shack. They sped in reverse and whipped around.
One They drove just fast enough to make the bastards run. Pam slapped the dashboard in time with the music singing along loudly. Roxy was cackling like some demented witch as the hoards spilled around one another.
They gunned it once the hoard was far enough to lose interest in the house killing the music. Roxy took the turn a little too sharply and ended up fish tailing to correct the vehicle. However, the plan worked flawlessly.
As they pulled into the driveway once more the two women held their rifles ready. Pam was the first out. Checking the bushes for any unwelcome visitors. Once they got to the door, the shorter woman gave it a jiggle. No luck.
Pam sighed. Examining the door. The window seamed low enough. Sure there were a few bars on the inside but...Those were always too wide to actually stop anything. Taking the butt of her rifle, she slammed it into the glass.
Her rewards was a spiderweb of cracks. Roxy apparently had been looking elsewhere as she took the initiative too soon. Reaching to unlock the door through the hole only to awkwardly slap the cracking glass.
“So um...” Pam began.
“Not another word.”
After a few more strikes the glass finally blew inward. They unlocked the deadbolt and chain before slipping in silently. Closing the door behind them. Even if they were certain the infected were gone, they weren’t taking any chances.
“Okay I think he- do you hear laughter?” Pam paused in response to this. Sure enough a constant stream of deranged giggling rung through the house. The two women glanced at one another. Pam murmured a few well chosen curses under her breath.
“What ever you do. If it jumps ya. Shut your eyes. Learn from my mistakes.” Pam urged as they crept through the room. Sadly the laughter was on the move. And closing in. The two women held their guns at the ready. Waiting for the little monster to show it’s face.
Something slammed onto Roxy’s shoulders and she began firing wildly. Causing Pam to scramble well out of the way while the small howling menace began it’s assault. “FUUUUH”
“Roxy just! Lemme! HANG ON YOU IDIOT!”The gun fire stopped only when the barrel was empty. Much to Pams relief as the panicked woman began her struggle. She didn’t want to risk shooting and so began to assault the thing with the butt of her rifle.
Occasionally she’s smack the shorter woman, however eventually they managed to knock the little bugger off. One final shot From Pams rifle and the Jockey lay still. A large hole in it’s chest.
Both women stood there gasping for air. They stared dumbfounded at each other. “So uh... That just happened.” Roxy reloaded her gun, turning away and avoiding eye contact. Pam cleared her throat. Nudging the corpse’ head.
“This may be a bad time but... I think this is your uncle Bob.”
It took a solid three solid hours to load the truck up. And sadly the ruckus from earlier had drawn a small trio of undead their way. Fortunately it was only the three. The women took little time returning home and closing the gate behind themselves. There wasn’t much they could do in the rain, sadly. Asside from throw a tarp over the building materials.
“Okay. So as long as the power doesn’t go out we’re set now. Right?” Roxy was trying to remain hopeful. To push Pam forward. Pam, on the other hand, grimaced. Pealing the gauze away from her ear in order to change it. She also sat Roxy down to clean off what scratches she’d gained from her fight with Bob.
“Even if the power goes out, we have a generator. It might need gas though.” She checked the new wrappings on her ear and applied a few small bandages to Roxy’s little scrapes.
“And you say I got lucky. Look at you little miss hardly even felt it.” She folded her arms grinning. Roxy on the other hand, had her face scrunched up in thought.
“Paaaam?” That tone. It said it all before Roxy could even finish her statement. Neither of them thought to stock up on gas. Fortunately their little ghost town had a gas station. One that Roxy quite wonderfully had a spare set of keys for. Thanks to looting her dear old uncle. 
With their little gas canisters, the woman raided the store. Once that ran dry? There was a town full of abandoned cars. Once that went? Well they’d think of something. Worst case scenario, the two could jury-rig some alternate type of engine.
It didn’t take them long to return home. Unloading the supplies into the house where it was secure. Despite this. Roxy leaned on the door frame. She drummed her fingers in a scattered, agitated pattern. “What’s up?”
Pam nudged her with a mug of tea. The woman took it and took a long sip. Heaving a sigh. “That’s my family...Just wandering. Infected...Zombies. What if...What if one of us turns?”
“You’ve seen a Zombie movie or two. You know what needs to happen.” Pam deadpanned. It wasn’t a nice thought. Nor was the realization that the rain was getting harder. They were in for some nasty weather. It seamed.
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Dr Stone 13 - 15 | Honzuki 1 | Iruma-kun 1 - 2 | Africa Salaryman 1 | Tokunana 1 - 2 | Actors 1 | Abilities Average 1 | Shinchou Yuusha 2 | Assassin’s Pride 1 | No Guns Life 1 - 2 | Kabukicho Sherlock 1 | Ahiru no Sora 2 | BnHA 64 | Shin Chuuka Ichiban 1 | Stand My Heroes 1 - 2
Tags should be rolled out soon.
Dr Stone 13
Did Senku just Salt Bae??? Now I’ve seen everything!
I remember this puckered face from the manga! It’s hilarious!
Poor Kinro…he’s shocked at Ginro’s words…
Those were foxtails.
Who knew Suika’s mask could look so badass, amirite???
Honzuki 1
I like books…so this was a natural pick for me, y’know?
OKAY, why is the girl drinking wine she accepted from an older man??????
O…kay, so this has nice backgrounds and a pretty nice aesthetic with all the flowers, but otherwise it’s kinda dull, to be honest. It moves at the pace of a slice of life show…and I’m not sure it’s intentional or not.
“Only grownups are allowed to tie up their hair.” – So then, and correct me if I’m wrong about this…why is Turi’s hair in a braid? Or, when they mean “up”, they mean in a full bun like Myne (Main???) did earlier?
I’m thinking either a marketplace might have books…or at least signs to read.
I’m thinking of Maou-sama Retry from last season…because I’d rather a boring slow walk like the one I just saw, rather than a terrible run cycle like the one in the first episode of that show.
What…? Was Urano a vegan or vegetarian…? Or just too much of a city slicker to deal with seeing a dead chicken?
Iruma-kun 1
I picked this one based on the good ratings it had on ANN.
How does anyone remember these lyrics??? How many “ba” and “bi”s do you need???
…Hayate the Combat Butler, basically speaking.
Levy = Leviathan, I’d assume.
Aye, what a poor lad…to be sold off at 14…
Well, that was a fast way to set up an episode. If more shows were like this, I’d be a happy camper.
I-Is Opera…a DUDE?! Hallelujah! I hit Bishonen Jackpot #2! (No. 1 is Seiya, of course.)
You comedies wanna play hardball with me? Huh?! Do you, punks?! Let’s see how many times you can make me (wholeheartedly) laugh, then! (Current laugh count: 1)
Gender-coded uniforms, much…?
Is Catgirl related to Opera somehow???
Well, you do know that Asmodeus represents lust, right? That’s why he’s pink, isn’t he?...Isn’t he??? Update: Oh, yeah, right. Sullivan should probably be “Solomon”, but the name is deliberately different for comedy’s sake.
Uh, lemme guess: Daisuke Namikawa for Asmodeus? Update: Ryohei Kimura. I knw he sounded familiar…he’s Kane-san, in other words.
Kamehame-fireball!
(Iruma-kun is a master of dodging)…I thought it was because of that spell from before, really.
Da Vinci homage for the win!
Oh hey! 2nd German suplex of the season (I didn’t watch the first one).
By the power of dodging, Iruma wins…one servant! (Just in case Fate/ wasn’t enough for you…so to speak.)
There’s a single heart on Babylys in the ED, it seems…plus a giant bow.
Africa Salaryman 1
If Beastars is anime Zootopia, then this is absurdist Zootopia.
This is some Attenborough s***...until it isn't.
The OP scenes with the characters dancing...that's gonna be in my nightmares.
Oh, it's the pa in pachinko (“chinko” meaning p***s) that’s missing, so they went with glasses/asses instead.
We got Punpun animated (i.e. frightened Toucan)...score.
Giraffe Donuts, LOL.
I’m really pissed now…there’s no adblocker for my phone, so I had to sit through a good 8 ads or so just to get proper subs…I almost lashed out at someone because of it, too.
FireLion, LOL. I like these old computer-style transitions, but I don’t like how many ads I have to live through for it.
Tokunana 1
Is it just me, or did the police guy say "futures" (plural)...?
Hmm...by brandishing a gun at that point, is this man implying he's a saviour, or that guns are cool? I sure hope it's not the latter, considering gun violence rates worldwide. Then again, I might be reading into this one detail too much.
This reminds me of Midnight Occult Sevants…which doesn’t bode well for this show.
I can see this being my next Cop Craft…which I don’t need this season.
…oh, boy…rule no. 1 of detective shows: don’t be a hostage or get kidnapped. Ever. (Inevitably, if the show is about police in some capacity, someone will break this rule at least once. It’s made to be broken.)
Between this and Kimetsu no Yaiba, we’ve had enough “intelligence” (“using your head”, i.e. headbutting) to last us a while…
This CGI looks kinda bad…Africa Salaryman does better with disguising its CGI.
I like how the skull had a bow on it.
Wait, a dog, bird (pheasant) and gorilla (monkey)…this is some demented Momotaro going on right here…
Lookit that lady go!!! Woot!
To be honest, I keep feeling like Seiji’s gonna develop superpowers…or is this not the show for that…? (I mean, there’s dragons in the synopsis! Dragons!)
This show looks kinda off model, which is a bad sign in the first episode…hearing gunshots after the ED kinda startled me, though, and made a killer move for another episode out of goodwill…come to think of it, I’ve been giving out a lot of “can’t peg down this show with one episode, will watch more” this season already…
Dr Stone 14
(no notes, sorry!)
Actors 1
I’m a fan of Masuda, who voices a character in Actors’s 3rd iteration…IIRC. It’s gonna be a while until we get to him, though.
Uh, how does this guy play keyboard with those floppy sleeves of his???
Specifically, according to Hinata, Haruna told him he was being too noisy before she went back to sleep…although I’ve never seen a little girl be woken up by her big brother in these “I’m late! *puts toast in mouth as they run ou the door*” intros, so it’s refreshing.
His name is Otonomiya (“sound temple”, with “sound” being the thing you hear), of course he’s going to be part of a musical franchise…
“Akizuki Kai” sounds familiar…I dunno why though.
UGGGGGGH! If you’re doing a singing anime, let us hear the damn song!!! Don’t make us wait for the Otonomiya version!!!
Kagura…Sousuke??? Classicaloid??? I am so not going to match that boy with this one. (Well, one of the kanji is different, but everything else is the name, right down to the wordplay. A kagura is a type of dance, y’see, and one of the characters matches one in the Japanese word for “music”, ongaku. The other can be found in Otonomiya’s name, in fact.)
What’s up with this white wall business, anyway??? This ain’t Tokyo Ghoul, this is a singing anime!
Archery boy is good boi. Me likey.
I have a bad feeling about Nozomi, yo.
I LOLled so hard…I mean, this pink dude’s name is Uta Outa…it’s so redundant. You expect me to love him???? LOL, as if!
Con brio = with spirit, with vigour. Adagio = slow, by the way.
Stand My Heroes 1
I’m here for Ume, as I always am. Ume’s role is Go Miyase of the Kujo family.
That was a pretty epic opening, actually.
Who scouts a civilian for a narcotics unit???
I am so not going to be able to match names to faces at this rate…
Hey, don’t you go patronising girls!!!
I feel like it would’ve been better (and flashier) to demonstrate the drug immunity by showing, not talking about it.
Takaomi looks like Tenn from Idolish7, man…
Hmm…I saw Ume’s character, but it’s hard to evaluate his voice for Go just by a “Here you go.” (And no, that’s not a pun…not an intentional one, anyway.)
I just realised Aoyama has this tiny plait on the side of his head. It’s rather cutesy for a narcotics show.
(Aoyama informs Rei about Arakida)…yeah, but why are you here, Aoyama? Are you just here to warn Rei???
The stain really is gone, you really can’t tell that it is there…I assume that means she was drinking water in that tall glass of hers (Rei).
This ending song is a bit weird…I never expected it to be English. I expected it to be by the VAs, to be honest.
Abilities Average 1
It’s better if I call this “Abilities Average” rather than the long-winded “Didn’t I Say to Make My Abilities Average in the Next Life?!”.
The scenery in this show is nice, at least…(?) But is that a CGI carriage I see?
Comic Earth Star…that doesn’t bode particularly well for me. The only series I’ve watched that has a series that hails from that magazine is SekaTsuyo (Wanna Be the Strongest in the World!) and I didn’t like it much in the end.
Ohhhhhhhhh…kay. Is it just me, or did I read “Hotel Little Gust” as “Hotel Little Girl”…?
Mile and Myne (spelling pending). In female-led isekai. This season only!!!...this is gonna suck, isn’t it?
Lenny is a boy’s name, though…?
Why is the show’s English tagline “God bless me?”…? I’ve half a mind to drop this show already…and I read the premiere report on ANN, so I knew it was going to end like this. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve had a season where I just catch up on older series, even though I keep thinking I will have one on my hands during weak seasons. (This has been a worry since the especially weak summer 2018 season, really.)
The Spain Square…? Really?
Really? You’re gonna complain about Japan’s declining birth rate here???
Whoa, I wouldn’t be surprised if this show were taken for granted by yuri shippers…
The extreme buffering means I managed to spot a redhead who I’ve seen on this show’s promo material…yup, that’s her.
Oh…great. This redhead is tsundere…(If I give one more complaint, I’m getting out of here!)
Oh…so Mile even pointed it out…(probably because this buffering is going so slowly, I can guess what’s happening before it actually happens.)
Okay, so I never figured out why she started calling herself a country girl and I went back and looked (despite all the buffering I was fighting) and no one ever does call her a country girl, it’s just a random misconception she has. Because it was so unclear that this was the case, I’m going to drop this show. (Well, for all the middling shows I have this season, losing one is actually a relief…!)
Shinchou Yuusha 2
Here we are again…and I’ve been thinking about Seiya a lot since last time, which probably seals the deal in that this is going to be part of the final lineup. (Today’s Seiya probably helps a lot with that.)
Ohmigosh, Rista’s panicked face when they almost get caught by Chaos Machina…LOL.
…just as I thought, I go “nnnnergh” under my breath when someone mentions the name “Aria”.
Assassin’s Pride 1
I picked this show because the protag looked kinda hot…but only now I realise he looks like a knock-off Kirito and I really start to regret my choice…
Is it just me, or is this show really dark??? (Not just because of the bloody scene at the start, mind you.)
The side of the train says “Cardinals 26110”, in case you were wondering…(then again, you probably weren’t wondering that…)
Wait-his name is Kufa WHAT?!
This is giving me Lance N Masques vibes now, because it did almost the same plot beats except for the fact I still can’t reconcile the fact Kufa Whatsit lives in a lantern (which is actually a pretty interesting idea…if it didn’t seem rather unviable upon retrospect)…that means it’s halfway to drop city.
Melida is so flat, she doesn’t even fill out her dress…(LOL, that gives a new meaning to “flat as a board”.)
But why is the tutor a dude? Plus an older dude to a younger girl, at that???
Hey, Melida is essentially my kinda catnip…at least in my head...because she’s someone without powers in a family with powers (basically, she’s like Daichi from Crimson/Future is Crimson in that regard). Then again, Charlotte tried playing the same hand by having superpowers and absolutely sunk itself ‘cos I couldn’t stand Yu.
Elise runs reallllllly derpily.
Those CGI alleyways look baaaaaaaaad, man. Like, “looking at grainy footage through a UV camera” bad.
Okay, Kufa. You are not Naruto. You will not see them aliens. Give up already.
The actual frig is an anima???
I like this black/bright blue/purple combo…it’s nice.
Umm…but what is the way to awaken the mana???
I’m currently going, “So why should I give a s*** about Melida???? Ripoff Kirito just chooses to swear his life upon her and awakening her mana because she’s been beaten down a grand total of once…You should’ve killed her already, Kufa. Isn’t that what being an assassin is about???”…and then I realise there’s more to the episode…
Waiiiiiiiiiiiit…one of the maids’ names is Nietzsche??? Like the Ubermensch guy??? That’s weiiiiiiiird, man…
Kufa is a chuuni, calling it now.
The text under the series logo doesn’t quite make sense…
Hmm, this one’s a tough call, but I think I’ll give it a 45 and a hard drop. I don’t think I’ve ever asked myself “So why should I give a s*** about the main character?” before…I think the closset to that would be when I’ve asked myself why I wanted to be subjected to this (for anime that get dropped).  
No Guns Life 1
Now that I look at the title again…why is it called No Guns Life when Juzo’s life will always have a gun in it for as long as he’s like that (i.e. he has a gun for his head)…?
*Juzo smokes* - Oh, now that’s a striking opening scene if I ever knew one!
Ohmigoshit’sKnuckledusterfromBnHAVigilanteswithagunforhisheadand…I…*huff huff* can’t breathe anymore…LOL.
Seriously, I thought I thought up some weird s*** for my old stories, like the girl whose face was missing and Akoya turning into a manequin to preserve his beauty.
“The only ones who can touch my trigger are those who I’ve chosen to accept.” – Is that…a sexual metaphor??? Or an intimacy one in general???
Wowwwwwwwww, chibi gunhead (which was hinted in the OP) was not something I expected from such a hardboiled show.
“…shot right in the head.” – LOL, says you when the guy with the gun head is behind you.
I thought there was seriously a pun there by having the gun head’s name be “Juzo”, but it turns out his name has the kanji for 13. Maybe that hints at how unlucky he is instead. (Same with Inui and it containing the character for “dog” – turns out it’s a different kanji.)
I think this is reminding me of Mahoutsukai no Yome – strong in its core genre at first, but then shows some weakness when it comes to comedy.
I worry about how this show will look during the midseason slump period…it both has traces of CGI and the still camera pretending it’s “properly animating” a scene.
That ED really is something…and hey, I got an explanation for why the show has traces of CGI in it from the credits! Unreal Engine was credited there and that’s normally used for games.
Kabukicho Sherlock 1
Dammmmmmmmn, that’s one sweet soundtrack!
Man, I know I said for Stars Align that there’s no slap to the face like a slap to the face, but…this was a slap to the face in that I did not expect Mrs Hudson to do an entire Coraline-style musical routine in the first half of the episode. I could tell from her (?) appearance that she was a drag queen/trans caricature, but they didn’t need to make her a singer in a bar…and the “sexy” shots of Mrs Hudson’s butt are kinda disturbing…and especially the part where Watson (I think it is?) gets a butt grab for his trouble…
The woman in the blue dress is Diana Oldoini (spelling needs confirmation). The woman with the blue hair…seems to be called Tenkill…(yeah, under the subs, I can’t really make it out.) All the women at Pipe Cat seem to be trans stereotypes, which vaguely annoys and unsettles me.
Kyogoku = Natsuhiko Kyogoku and Sherlock is Holmes, but I dunno about “Michel” or “Kobayashi”.
The Watson from the Holmes books was a doctor in the Afghanistan war…I know that much.
Natsu -> Fuyu (summer -> winter), hiko (“brilliance/brightness”, a common component to Japanese boys’ names) -> to (“person”, also a common component of Japanese boy’s names).
Oh, Michel is this guy (Belmont)! No wonder. Update: So the cats are like placecards, announcing that you’re in the building.
White Rose! I saw it when Watson showed up in his car, so I figured it was going to be important…I just didn’t think it was necessary so soon…
Chili oil…no wonder the woman was disgusted by Sherlock’s burp. Not to mention, Holmes was good at identifying chemicals too. This show is shaping up to be a modern Holmes more than Detective Conan is!
Wowwwwwwww…this show really doesn’t like gay people either (understatement).  It’s like I’m watching a show from the 90s in regards to the LGBTIQ+ people in this…
Moriarty is a thief for thieves, huh? A regular (modern) Robin Hood, so to speak. I wonder if the poor kids are the Baker Street Irregulars…?
This soundtrack is sooooo good! Plus it’s clearly leading up to a rakugo scene, based on the fact “Shibahama” briefly appeared on the screen during that really cool rainbow/text scene!
“What sort of girl takes her clothes off for a man she’s never met?” – A sex worker.
I-Is Moriarty drinking Dr Pepper…? Or Coke?
This is really shaping up to be a modern Sherlock Holmes – with his rakugo, this Sherlock is leading his Watson to the answer!
Ohhhhhhhhh man, these CGI cars look terrible!
H-HUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH?! W-What? Sherlock gets hit by a car in the first episode (I think they wanted it to happen for humour)? This really is a show where it’s neither mystery nor comedy…it’s just kinda weird and kinda there.  
So that’s Mary Morstan and…who? (If you never figured it out, I learnt these characters’ names through ANN cast announcements.)
I…don’t get why Sherlock is screaming because I don’t know what Watson’s bottle-thingy is for, but I’ll assume it has to do with pain for Sherlock’s genitals or something of the sort…and go “ouch” for him.
Okay, so the next-ep preview’s “Why not join the staring at eye moles squad?” is a joke. You see, the word nakibokuro refers to a mole (or beauty spot) under the eye (where hokuro = mole and naki = cry, so it’s as if the person cried the mole into existence). Then it’s mitsumetai, meaning “want to stare”, but then the tai for “want” is substituted for the tai meaning “squad”. So that nonsense English line is just a very literal translation that isn’t funny…just confusing. I don’t get the “Cobra?/ Farewell” exchange though…
This very last scene before the end of the episode seems to be a page of info about the setting of Shinjuku in this series. East and west were split by a wall and train tracks, it seems, and you ned to pass through the gate to go between them…I spotted this omake because of the cat in one corner.
I don’t quite get why the case had to be treated like a gameshow at one part, but that would be a cool plot if someone ever wrote a story about it…(actually, wait. I think I do know a similar plotline from Detective Conan – the one with Natsuki in it – plus the Running Man by Steven King is somewhat similar to it too.)
Ahiru no Sora 2
Essentially, Sora is a reverse Kuroko…amirite…?
Ugh! This slang is so outdated!!! “[T]otes craycray”…the translator’s trying too hard to be a hip teenager…
How does anyone keep food in their afro anyway…?
I…miss shonen protags like Ahiru. The type that are earnest, but not shouty.
I was thinking I might drop the show here, but then I looked at the posts and strangely they didn’t talk about Chiaki (who I expected to be the deuteragonist of this show). Instead, they talk about Momoharu, so I was wondering what kind of twist they were pulling.
Beet red, my butt…
…then again, more Chiaki shenanigans showed up, so I really am gonna drop this. Geesh, Chiaki, you really suck.
BnHA 64
Eyyyyyyyyy, my local sublicensor is back to simulcasting BnHA! That didn’t happen for the stuff affected by the CR x Funi partnership, so I’m happy it’s happening right now.
I heard this was a recap ep but it was handled well…oh well, the new OP is well worth the price of admission.
I like how Amajiki (my boyyyyyyyy!) is like “Don’t touch me!!!”, even in the OP.
Hmm…I see one of the male journalists being scolded uses Windows 10.
Tokuda’s name is literally a pun on “It’s a special (episode)”…good job, Bones and BnHA staff (sarcastic). Update: Maybe the “tane” (seed) means he’s seedy…?Nah, that pun doesn’t work in Japanese.
Good job on recapping Vault Boy (as he’s known). I found his POWERRRRRR! thing amusing when s3 was airing, remember?
I get the feeling (based on the chapters Viz made free for the sake of hyping s4 up) Nighteye is a parody of the Jump series Seiji Tanaka. Update: No, now that I google Seiji Tanaka up and remember Horikoshi was going for a stereotypical Japanese salaryman look, it’s just a giant coincidence…
Tokuda has that “nice older man” vibe going on…hmm…
Whoaaaaaaaaaaa, that quirk is creepyyyyyy…
“…false encouragement to those…”
Selfie for the photobomb photographer!...(or something like that…)
Oh nooooooooo, I know exactly what’s in store for these guys, now that Viz made chs. 122 – 162 available for free for a limited time!!! That ED though…it’s basically torture for someone who knows what’s going on!!!
Shin Chuuka Ichiban 1
This is a sequel to a series I watched ages ago in Cantonese, so…heck if I’ll understand what’s going on, but I’ll try. Even though my memory of these characters should be better than everyone else’s, it might even be worse, considering all the anime I watched in the years between…
All these faces are familiar…but I’ve forgotten most of their names…If I remember right, the blonde is Sanche, the only one I really remember because he gave his all to cutting radish by moonlight so that it was proven it was so thin you could see the moonlight through it…yeah, I think that’s the only character aside from Mao I can really say anything about. (I don’t think he was blonde last time I saw an anime about him, though.)
These chickens are adorable...in this day and age, we know these chickens aren't carriers of misfortune...but just roll with it for now.
The subs don't note it (the visuals do eventually though), but her (Tiya’s) bro is a big one.
I never realised how long Mao's hair was until this series...
Even these men look like chickens...LOL.
The essence of SCI is, like any other shonen, Mao gets underestimated and kicks their asses.
The men even sound like chickens, LOL.
See? Silkies. I've never taken care of one myself, but they are adorable lil' birds with a distinctive look. Anyways, I think what sets this apart from SnS is the earnestness from years gone by (rather than extreme exaggerating). Also, this ep. made me hungry...LOL, that's the sign of a good cooking show.
Yeah...I forgot the reason why Mao wears that blue thing over his arm is because he can dramatically reveal himself as Super Chef. That happened a lot in s1.
...who's Fei again...?
Tokunana 2
I think this is going to be the decider as to where I push the threshold of my rankings, since this how is very middling…also, it’s pretty obvious to note the ep. titles go 1, 2, 3…(and so on).
I’ve watched my fair share of mysteries (Detective Conan gives you a lot of ‘em), so I can tell the covering of the mouth is a tell…the dwarvish man is lying.
The news headline says “Rainbow Bridge Reconstruction”…(It has a particle on the end though…I dunno whether I wanna translate that or not.)
Based on the “dragons” idea, I wouldn’t be surprised if the main antagonist’s surname was Kuzuryuu (“9 headed dragon”).  
Codenames? They even did that in Double Decker and in some senses, that was a parody of the entire cop procedural! (What with “Perm” as a codename and all that…speaking of which, I think Travis was the type who liked “fun” codenames too…he called himself “Boss” as well…and called his rookie “Rookie”.)
The saying goes a painted dragon should have the eyes painted last or else it’ll come alive and fly away. It must be something of the sort for daruma too. By the way, I could guess the politician was trying to be re-elected before Ichinose said due to the hissho (“sure win”) written on the daruma.
I don’t think I’ve seen anyone in anime sit backwards on a chair like that (Ichinose’s pose)…
How does Suga know about the blog…?
I keep swearing Seiji is gonna awaken some type of powers, but…I dunno why…?
“Here it is! My fist of justice!” *whomp*…that’s how I imagined the final punch to be for Seiji.
I swear…I’ve been seeing this Angolmois-style filter over Tokunana…(grr…)
Stand My Heroes 2
Wait, there’s Hattori…and Hatori…? Update: Oh…kay, so there’s Otani Hatori (of Revel) and then Hattori You (of the police). They have the same colour hair…and the same hairstyle…there goes my dreams of even comprehending this show…
Wait, so the English-language song is the OP????
Why does a guy called Maki always have green hair…?
Seriously though…Yui is a cliched scientist. By that, I mean he doesn’t really act like one at all – he obsesses over potential samples and whatnot (emphasis on “potential”).
Where the heck did you acquire a drug like that, then, Kagura???
Only Rei, who knows what happened at the dinner, can say “you’re nice based on what you did at dinner”. The viewer wasn’t privy to such things…
Aki’s tsundere…!
That fight scene was barely animated…geesh.
Maki’s got such anger issues that it’s hard to get behind him…
By the by, I don’t find Jekyll and Hyde cases hot, so Maki is basically a no-go.
Iruma-kun 2
This could be the show that decides it all. Iruma-kun is the 2nd-last show on my prospective shows for the season, so I’m cutting the fat fast by watching a few shows that indicate the quality of everything underneath as well as itself.
LOL, I never noticed there was an “Oh my gah” in the OP, haha.
Okay, so the pun in the title is Mairimashita! Iruma-kun (“I’ve Arrived! Iruma-kun”in formal Japanese because he’s the demon king’s grandson), but it’s “demon entry” rather than the standard kanji…so there’s absolutely no way to make that joke work in English, hence “Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun”. The pun in Iruma is that it’s an anagram of the formal iku/kuru (come/go), mairu. Yes, that’s the mairu I was talking about earlier.
I love how the narrator is just like “akuma deeeeeee~su” with all the enthusiasm of a postman; that is, he’s not very good at covering up his sarcasm.
Oh, so it’s maccha, but macha (demon tea)…geddit?
…oh! I actually noticed Sullivan’s hands were bandaged, but I didn’t think anything of it! So it was plot-relevant…
Hellraiser clock…for mezamashidokei (where ma = demon again)…that is a good pun! I love you, subber!
I assume the series of 5 symbols I keep seeing is actually “Iruma”, meaning the demon language is based on English, or at the very least individual romaji.
Oh wait! Babibabi(etc.)ru…does that mean the OP is referring to the school??? *mindblown*
…don’t tell me it’s Sullivan…? Update: Nope, I forgot about “Severus Snape”. He’s Aizawa from BnHA, but a demon.
Asmodeus stands out far too much in a crowd, LOL.
Whether useful or useless, trash is trash.
That’s…a very death metal snake…to put it one way.
This reminds me of Future is Crimson…how nostalgic…I really expect a cute monster though.
*laughing behind hand* Oh noooooooo…does that mean Iruma summoned the teacher??? (Hahahah!!!! Hahahaha!!!)
So…I was right, but I wasn’t right??? The teacher is a cute demon, I guess. Very fluffy. His Snape form isn’t bad either, but I’d prefer someone younger than him, to be honest. (Gimme plushies of the small fluffy sensei!)
Okay, so sukima appears to be a word meaning “gap, crevice (etc.)”. There’s the character for demon in it, so it’s kinda like calling this section the demonic gap-closer…the malevolent mini-episode…the fiendish filler! Yeah, I like the sound of “fiendish filler” (even though I don’t even like filler!).
Dr Stone 15
…now Senku’s done it. (i.e. married Ruri)
I like how Suika went splat while running. It adds more consistency to her nearsightedness.
Now there’s a cliffhanger!
No Guns Life 2
I always love it when people say they’re unarmed…but truth be told, people (normally) have two arms…not to mention, Juzo has a gun for a head and a fist that can rapidly punch. You can’t really call that “unarmed”.
I just realised Juzo’s jaw doesn’t really move when he talks…
Wait a second, ARAHABAKI????? You mean, Chuuya Arahabaki???? (Talking about that to those not in the know would be spoilers, so I won’t explain what I mean here, just in case there are non-BSD fans reading this.)
So…uh, where are Juzo’s eyes in that head of his…?
Ooh, authentication keys. Sounds like cybersecurity. That…was my jam before I jumped ship – apparently I’m too dumb to deal with modulos (which are important to cybersecurity).
Hmm…gun slave unit? Whatever does that mean, hmm??? (somewhat inquisitive, somewhat sarcastic)
Can a guy with a gun for his head get lung cancer? These are the big questions, folks.
Hmm? His hobby is house-cleaning, but he doesn’t have any kids…? That sounds sort of weird (although my ideas of a house cleaner are probably a bit…motherly, I guess? “Conforming to traditional stereotypes”…how about that description instead…?).
I never realised how short the muzzle of Juzo’s head is until I got this side shot.
“Guess that means I won’t be able to hold back against you!” – Whoa! That’s some effective horror…and this isn’t even a show that has “horror” as one of its genres…
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honeyedmilks · 7 years
Text
the longest gtk me tag to ever exist 🍰
i was tagged by the lovely @meanyoongis (thank YOU!! <3) for this extravagant tag! she is so long, even without my rambling, that under a cut she must rest!
the last…
drink: water! please stay hydrated this summer my friends!  time you cried: literally at 5 am at some point early in the week
phone call: my mum
text message: it’s literally me messaging rezka this: “did u just tell me to find a sugar daddy?” we were discussing my shitty laptop and a peach phone cover i wanted to buy- don’t ask anymore questions about this please lmfao.
song you listened to: don’t stop by shinee :’( (i’m going to report choi minho for his rap in this as well as my love jonghyun for his vocals that nearly killed me)
 have you…
dated someone twice: but… i’ve not.. even dated someone.. once… 
kissed someone and regretted it: nope! 
been cheated on: nope!
lost someone special: not in terms of them passing away but i have lost many friends and relationships i still remember; i feel their loss sometimes
been depressed: dfhhdjd i be livin’ that mental illness life right now hskjxk
gotten drunk and thrown up: no, but during my very bad times, i thought about doing just that, a lot. 
list three favourite colours…
omg okay: browns, pinks, blues 
in the last year have you…
made new friends: yes! i love them!! shout out to my cute tumblr friends :’))) 
fallen out of love: hmm… i would say so… THANK GOD 
laughed until you cried: i wish lmfao but rezka and allie have made me laugh loads :’)) 
found out someone was talking about you: hmm yes, but it’s ok :(( 
met someone who changed you: i know some people now who have given me sound advice that i try to remember, but other than that i don’t think so
found out who your friends are: yes :(( though i would like to think the ones who didn’t check up on me had their reasons 
kissed someone on your facebook list: i’m literally the most un-sensual person ever?? can u tell?? no action up in dis bitch y’all!
general…
how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: i should’ve mentioned before that i’m not even on that… place… imagine having all my asian family members tryna peep me on ‘the facebooks’ as my dad calls it… a living nightmare… also it just looks far too complicated to use and not worth the energy getting used to it, i love the memes that i see from facebook here though lmfaoo they’re lit
do you have any pets: no! :(( i used to have a bunny called bubbles but he is no longer with us :(( rest in peace bubbles :(( but our family wants a new pet! hopefully we’ll get a cat or another rabbit when my littlest brother is a bit older! i’m so lonely… i want a dog.. my family is so incomplete… so cold…so devoid… I JUST WANT AN ANIMAL FRIEND!!! but i would also have to get over my weird fear of all living things, and the pain that comes with having them such as scratches etc 
do you want to change your name: actually no, i’m okay with my name right now :’) though i feel like i have two depending on how people pronounce it! its more commonly pronounced as sof-ee-a but it’s actually soft, like sof-ya! also here’s a fact! my name’s already been changed :D when i was younger i was actually named bariah (pronounced br-ee-ya) but it was changed because my parents and stuff thought it was causing me lots of bad luck… i also somehow got picked on in primary school for having my name changed?? people eventually ended up saying i had changed my name like three times (the real case is that white people fucked up how to pronounce bariah and when my mum corrected them, they all flipped shit lmfao ah my head hurts thinking about this- it got worse after it went from bariah to sofia)                               
what did you do for your last birthday: it was so miserable this was the worst year to ask me this question, lmfao i’ll try not to give you any miserable details but i ended up buying myself cake and trying not to make it my departing date too
what time did you wake up: near 1pm i think! 
what were you doing at midnight last night: i think i was either watching the princess’ man or making my posters for it! 
name something you can’t wait for: honestly don’t know lmfao i want to go to the beach though so here’s hoping i finally do that, or go swimming 
when was the last time you saw your mom: like an hour ago, she’s making dinner i think… i can smell it… all the way from my depression hole (bedroom)
what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: so much? but mostly i would like my dad to get better and my mum to not have to do everything :(( and then go on more holidays and live life more :(( also mental illness be gone!!
what are you listening right now: fuckin artificial love by exo dropped on ma shuffle, i’m getting terrible flashbacks to the cane dance  
have you ever talked to a person named tom: aye i know a guy called tom, he got a part of his tooth chipped (It was a whole big wild thing and i don’t know the details but that’s all i remember of the dude) and he was in my english class once, but like, we don’t talk no more… i don’t even know if i’ve seen him around school when i used to go… 
something that is getting on your nerves: lots of things… my potato laptop… myself… no one in my gotdang family listening to me!!! the fact that it’s been two weeks and i still don’t have delicious cake… also the fact i end up hating everything i make on here- thank you guys for being so lovely in your tags tho :’(( 
most visited website: tbh tumblr, pinterest, pixlr and dramanice
about me…
mole/s: i don’t think i have any? maybe some small dark dots here and there on my legs and neck
mark/s: i have some burn scars and a bit of a scar thing on my elbow where i scraped it really badly as a kid, i also have stretch marks on my waist/hips etc and a blotchy mark in my inner left thigh
childhood dream: i think i was set on being an interior designer at one point? lmfao or a celebrity chef (i watched a lot of food network as a kid) 
hair colour: black
long or short hair: very very long, but i want to get it cut soon so it’s a bit shorter. 
do you have a crush on someone: i mean there’s this one boy in real life… but i don’t see him that much right now :(( i don’t think it’s full on infatuation though… but y’all also know i love jonghyun and changkyun 
what do you like about yourself: AKDNSKJDKJADDJ i broke out the caps for this!!! lemme think… i guess my eyebrows can be rather nice! and i can be funny sometimes i guess lmao… i like how i can be empathetic with people, though it’s not at all always fun being so sensitive
piercings: i have my ears pierced! just one in each lobe :) 
blood type: you trippin if you thought i would know this LMFAO 
nickname: binch i gots so many oh my god… my family, such as my aunt, call me brian (derived from my old name bariah- thank god i told you guys about that otherwise none of you would know why my nickname was fucking BRIAN), some people call me sofie/ sophie, and my mum calls my sofie pofie sometimes- my dad calls me sofar (so-fur) in the most desi way possible- he once accidentally called me sofa and it just stuck, it also explains my instagram user name (sofarsoogood) lmfao its a cute pun and i don’t know if this is a nickname but i get adressed as baji/baj by my younger brothers and sisters and cousins- its like the desi term for older sister 
relationship status: your local potato head (that’s me) is on her lonesome… she single as hell bitch!
zodiac: aquarius (i’m sure i spelt that wrong, rezka once dragged me for spelling it as some other dumb shit before BUT OH WELL) 
pronouns: she/her!
favourite tv show (s): i don’t even know, parks and recreation is a good one though :’)) oooh and I LOVE CRIMINAL MINDS though i’ve not seen much of the new season :(( oh and an idiot abroad is fucking funny bye i need to rewatch that ooh also lots of cooking shows and the jane eyre bbc (2006) mini series 
tattoos: no, but i would like to get some more henna done this year :’D
right or left hand: right!
surgery: i don’t think so? but i did get some teeth taken out when i was younger so i don’t know if that counts lmfao 
hair dyed in different colour: no, but it would be nice to get it done one day!! i’ve been thinking about it… but i don’t know what colour would suit me and my mum doesn’t want me to lmfao 
sport: i like cycling (its been ages tho) and i like badminton, yoga and i really want to go swimming :(( but i don’t do any of that anymore. the most i do is long walking 
vacation: i’ve been to pakistan, england, stopped in dubai for a while, italy, france, turkey and egypt! it was all so long ago though! and i would like to go to so many more places!
pair of trainers: i have converse! though i much prefer sandals over converse
more general…
eating: these days i’m very into chips and cheese plus donner (don’t knock it till ya try it!) and my mum’s roti salan lmfao 
drinking: hmm water! or icy drinks! iced tea is fabulous but i also gotta start drinking green tea again! i miss her 
i’m about to: pass out from trying to answer all of these LMFAO JOKES i might get something to eat.. such as ice cream… or actual dinner… and then maybe watch more of the princess’ man or make some stuff! but who knows i might just fall asleep lmfao 
waiting for: a new laptop, my mental health TO GET BETTER SDHKSHKSDH and for just… i dunno what the heck i’m doing, i’m just winging my life right now and for my dad to get better so he can go on trains and buses with me so i can get used to them  
want: new bath bombs and clothes, my writing passion back, hugs, affection, allie to reunite with her chicken hat one day
get married: i most likely will when i’m older! though i’ve been told i’m already in a relationship with jp and bevy maco 
career: HONESTLY DON’T KNOW!!!!!! but if i filter all my shit out then i can say, i want to get into film, defos want to be a published writer, maybe go into graphic design… who knows tbh maybe counselling? 
which is better…
hugs or kisses: it depends on what kind of kiss/ where it is, but i often get in moods where i just need to be held :’(( so both i guess!
lips or eyes: both :’) but eyes over lips i guess unless we’re talking smiles :’) 
short or tall: i guess tall but if i’m in love it might not really matter              
older or younger: hmm, i would say the same age as me or a little older, but it really depends on the mentality of the person :) 
nice arms or nice stomach: arms are nice :’) 
sensitive or loud: hmm i don’t know… probably loud, just not obnoxious or annoying
hook up or relationship: relationship :’) 
troublemaker or hesitant: hmm i don’t know! the boys i’ve liked have ended up being some troublemakers, but i guess it depends on what kind of trouble! 
have you ever…
kissed a stranger: nope!
drank hard liquor: never 
lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t wear glasses or contact lenses but i have lost some sunglasses on holiday lmfao, it doesn’t even have to be a day before i lose something on holiday, or leave it behind
turned someone down: hmm i don’t think so! though one boy did try give me a valentine on valentine’s day but i was really having a terrible day and i didn’t take it from him, the encounter was a mess and i don’t know why he was tryna give it to me in the first place? i think he was just tryna get rid of it?? i don’t trust boys if they do stuff like that/ try ask me out tbh lmfao for many reasons
sex on the first date: oh no not my shy ass lmfao
broken someone’s heart: i don’t know :( most likely not! though there was one person i think i did hurt and let down  
had your heart broken: i’m not sure in the romantic sense, but i know it’s felt a lot 
been arrested: nope! i’m an angel ;)) LMFAO 
cried when someone died: hmm i can’t remember, i think i cried seeing my mum so upset when her mother passed away, i also have shed tears over michael jackson (i used to be a very heavy mj blog back in the day lmfao shout out to my mj mutuals who stuck around) 
fallen for a friend: i don’t think it was genuine, so i’m going to say no 
do you believe in…
yourself: pfff depends really, there are times when i don’t feel an overwhelming sense of insecurity and there are times i do                    
miracles: i guess so :)
love at first sight: i think you can be attracted to someone when you first see them or have a liking to them but real love is such a complex thing that i don’t really believe one can fall in love at first sight
santa claus: kjdcnjdcnjd who dat i only know dat cool guy in narnia who gave dem kids of old their death devices
kiss on the first date: hmm… depends… but in reality… probably no
angels: yes  
other…
current best friends name: rezka, allie, mhairi, (a mix of tumbly friends and irl) im such a loser bye but i love y’all, i honestly don’t talk to a lot of people these days :(( 
eye colour: so dark they look black and you can’t see my pupils sometimes
favourite movie(s): hmm… sabrina (1954), the mummy one and two, peter pan (2003), pride and prejudice (2005) and spy! i have lots more i’m so fond of!  
phew! time to tag some lovely people! : @youngjei , @allonsy-allie , @dansphil , @seokjinings , @junyeol-s , @bovrilcat , @alcenos , @astraelogy , @mahnoorjahan , @timrggins and @bonqhee! 💗
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verdigrisprowl · 7 years
Text
Mar 15 Blurr’s Horror Stream - A Monster Calls
Prowl continued to lack a verbal filter.
Welcome to the 'speedxstealer' room. The chat room has been cleared by the moderator. B l u r r: / he is present. Dragging himself in with a thermal over him. / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave trudges in and makes himself comfortable on his couch, lights dimming a bit as he exercises his right to slightly improper posture.* Shockbox: *He's here, he's queer, and ready for human fear.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((PFFFFF)) Shockbox: *In other words, he arrives on time as usual and heads to his seat.* B l u r r: (( omfg )) ItsyBitsySpyers: *Plays a waving animation on his screen. Hello to those already here and just walking in.* B l u r r: / burrows on his couch with his thermal. Is a lump of thermal / B l u r r: / with maybe a helm fin sticking out / Shockbox: *He nods back on his way to his seat. Upon observation of the others, it seems all of them are a little worse for wear.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *He sees someone drowning in warmth. Probably Blurr. That's as it should be. Warmth for everyone. Defy the cold ship air.* B l u r r: / sticks claw out to wave to everyone / FakeProwl: *GUESS WHO'S STILL INJURED. it's this guy.* FakeProwl: *at least he's in the right avatar this week.* Whirl: *trots in and clambers into his hammock, as is customary* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Pings Prowl hello and repeats the waving animation for Whirl.* B l u r r: / tugs thermal down so he can see his screen better / boomtank: -is here now- Drift: *for the first time in like... ten years. he arrives.* B l u r r: / not that he's reading it. Hes more or less just staring at it. / FakeProwl: Hello. *sits with Soundwave* Whirl: *bob his head to Soundwave, and then to Blurr* B l u r r: / flicks left finial. Give him a delayed thirty seconds / B l u r r: ... / waves at whirl / Shockbox: *Ah, a shame, the predacon skin was more interesting, in Shockwave's opinion.* B l u r r: / another delayed thirty seconds. Wiggles claws a little sloppily at Drift / ItsyBitsySpyers: *More pings and lazy screen waves to all. A big crowd tonight. He'll have to make sure none of them run Prowl onto unwelcome topics.* Drift: Hey! *flops down next to Blurr and wraps an arm around him.* Drift: What've I missed. B l u r r: .... / opens mouth and just closes it. Just has a very 8I face / Drift: ... A lot, huh. B l u r r: ... Mm. Drift: I'm sorry I haven't been around. We've been registering new crewmates and preparing to take off again. B l u r r: Mm... /shakes helm / B l u r r: / holds up a digit and pulls himself under his thermal. He's rummaging around for something / B l u r r: / tugs thermal off his helm and hands Drift the equivalent of a dictionary, but it's a popup book / boomtank: -sits somewhere he can- Drift: *what is this* B l u r r: / it's the history of the last like month / ItsyBitsySpyers: *Amused.* B l u r r: [[ LS, not today. ]] Drift: *how many words are in this holy slag* B l u r r: / there aren't many words. Just pop ups / B l u r r: / hums and settles again/ That should about cover it. B l u r r: [[ lemme know when yall are ready ]] Drift: *okay then, he's gonna read* Whirl: ((I am ready!) B l u r r: / spoiler alert, the fight is the first thing ur gonna reaD / ItsyBitsySpyers: ((ready)) Shockbox: (( Quite ready.)) Drift: *WHICH fight* Drift: ((ready!)) B l u r r: / the JT one / B l u r r: [[ okiiie. We start ! ]] Drift: *does it say why he had the fight* B l u r r: / Not high key. Maybe low key. / B l u r r: / low key as in : I did something wrong says Blurr. / B l u r r: / not u / Drift: ... What. Drift: *skips forward like fifty pages* B l u r r: [[ omfg DRIFT ]] boomtank: ready)) B l u r r: [[ U CANT SKIP PAGES ]] Drift: *HE NEEDS TO KNOW BLURR'S GONNA BE OKAY* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...BLURR'S RIGHT THERE* Whirl: I can give you a super-abridhed Whirl Perspective on what's been goin on with Teach. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[If Drift doesn't want it, he does.]] Drift: I'll take it! B l u r r: / I AM ALIVE / Drift: *he'll read the details after he gets the summary* Whirl: Ahem, B l u r r: / makes a face / Whirl: Blurr met a very dashing Wrecker from another universe, did some pretty damn heroic stuff, like, we're talking BIG HERO STUFF, on Earth--and I know 'cause I was there, saw it with my own eye. Whirl: We had a good time blowing stuff up, Blurr rescued some guys, and, if I'm not mistaken, hit it off with that aforementioned charming Wrecker of his. Shockbox: *Well. This is an eventful start.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Not wasting any time, this movie.* Whirl: And then he did... something, killed some pirates? And got that THING you see on his back. *gestures to the upgrade* And then went into a sort of almost-coma and wouldn't wake up for weeks. Whirl: But he's better now. I still say he should get rid of the thing, though. B l u r r: I was not in a coma. Whirl: It was practically a coma. B l u r r: It was not a /coma/ ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ohhhh, what a voice.* B l u r r: / looks at drift/ I was not in a coma. B l u r r: I just don't remember three weeks out of the month. Drift: YOU WERE IN A COMA?! B l u r r: It was not a COMA FakeProwl: Don't shout. It's painful. Drift: Why were you in a coma?! B l u r r: I wasn't- /vents/ my processor didn't want to... function. B l u r r: here. B l u r r: In the... present. Drift: You were in a depression coma?! Why were you in a depression coma! B l u r r: ... you skipped half the book. B l u r r: Why are you asking me questions that are answered in the book- oh for pit sake. B l u r r: I got into a fight. Whirl: Yeah, when your processor stops working, what do we call that? A COMA. Drift: *goes back to the beginning* Whirl: And nobody will LISTEN to me, but I'm pretty sure it's cos of that mod he's got. Overburderdening his processor. B l u r r: Yes, but a coma... oh , fine. Call it a coma. Whirl: ...*overburdening Whirl: ((good job me)) FakeProwl: Either a coma or brain death. FakeProwl: It depends on the extent. B l u r r: It was near brain death, according to Axis. Drift: Why did your brain nearly die!! Drift: Is it fixed? Is it going to happen again? B l u r r: / rubs temples / I don't... know. B l u r r: No, it's not fixed... it can't be fixed. Whirl: *points! Emphatically! At the speed booster!!!* Whirl: THAT. B l u r r: As for it happening again, I don't know. Drift: Why can't it be fixed?! Just take the thing off! B l u r r: It's not the mod! Shockbox: *Could the boy have not bitten the bully's hand?* Drift: How do you know?! B l u r r: Because it was happening before it! Whirl: Well... I'm sure the mod isn't helping. But also, this is the first I'VE heard of that. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh, early human movie devices. He sits up a little.* B l u r r: / chin claws and looks at the screen / FakeProwl: ... I've just realized I'm not paying attention to the movie. FakeProwl: I should start paying attention to the movie. Whirl: That's generally the best way to enjoy a movie. Audencies and critic alike agree. B l u r r: / rolls optic / ItsyBitsySpyers: (txt): Summary needed? FakeProwl: Yes, I think it's the best way to enjoy a movie too. B l u r r: / monster!! / FakeProwl: ... Oh. That was probably sarcasm. Whirl: I mean... not REALLY. I'm telling the truth. Whirl: Think of it more as "wry commentary tempered with amusement." Shockbox: *Very intrigued by this monster.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *HAS to show this to Wheeljack.* Shockbox: */His/ turn to sit up straighter.* FakeProwl: I did not catch the wryness or the amusement. FakeProwl: Thank you for the description of your tone. B l u r r: / tugs thermal down more so he can see better / Whirl: *shrugs* I've gotten PRETTY good at modulating, but sometimes I guess the ol' vocalizer goes flat. FakeProwl: I don't know. I just can't hear tone well. Whirl: Lord, between my sub-par vocalizer and youre crappy hearing, it's a wonder we get ANYTHING done. Shockbox: *The creature rates a 6.5/10 on his personal monster scale.* FakeProwl: Do we get anything done? Whirl: I mean as far as understanding each other. FakeProwl: Do we understand each other? Whirl: You tend to make yourself pretty clear, most of the time. *swivels his helm around to fix Prowl with a deadpan, half-lidded optic* So I think I understand you. Whirl: I'm sure you think you understand me, like most folks. B l u r r: Anyway /half mumbling/ If you have any other questions... /nudges Drift / Let me know. B l u r r: Though, I made the book fairly simple. Drift: *what was that? he's reading in terror right now* B l u r r: / oh my god. / FakeProwl: Oh. Good. I'm usually not sure people understand me. Especially when it's people like you who tend to ignore whatever I'm saying. FakeProwl: It's hard to tell whether I'm being ignored or being misunderstood. Whirl: Probably mostly ignored. FakeProwl: That's disheartening. And depressing. If I'm being misunderstood I have the hope of correcting the misconception. There's little that can be done about being ignored. Whirl: Don't take it personal, mech, I ignore a lot of people. B l u r r: [[ lemme know if it drops a lot btw ]] Whirl: *Whirl's gotta agree with Soundwave on the voice, really* FakeProwl: I know you do. And a lot of people ignore me. The fact that it isn't meant personally doesn't mean it doesn't have a personal impact on me. Whirl: If it makes you feel any better, it's not likely to personally affect you, since we're not exactly part of the same chain of command anymore. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Should he interrupt this conversation? ... Maybe it's something others should hear. He's not sure. Will keep an audial on it.* FakeProwl: Every time I try to communicate with somebody and they flat out ignore what I'm trying to communicate, it has a personal effect on me. FakeProwl: *he probably would have liked to be interrupted about fifteen minutes ago* FakeProwl: *he would still like to be interrupted* Whirl: That only counts if you actually care about the other person in the transaction. Whirl: And we both know that's not the case here. *snort* FakeProwl: That isn't true. FakeProwl: I would not attempt communication with a person if it did not matter to me that they hear what I'm saying. ItsyBitsySpyers: *...Maybe he should. This could change his reputation. Does Prowl want that reputation? No, no. Wrong question. Does he need that reputation? Probably.* Whirl: So, what exactly is it, then, that you think is so important for me to hear? What could you have to say to me that would really matter, Prowl? ItsyBitsySpyers: (txt): Prowl has heard this tale before? FakeProwl: Right now? Nothing. I don't think I've said anything I actually meant to say since I got a pipe in my head. Whirl: You should get that looked at. FakeProwl: *focuses on Soundwave* No. It's unfamiliar. Why? Whirl: @P: Because, you see, mech, the only things you've been saying to me laately are how stupid and useless I am--so forgive me if I ignore 'em. ItsyBitsySpyers: (txt): Then perhaps Prowl should focus, listen. Vital to film story. B l u r r: /paying close attention to the story tbh / FakeProwl: I'm trying to. It's hard. I'm being talked to. ItsyBitsySpyers: @P: (txt): Prowl cannot filter audio input? B l u r r: ... /wow this shiit is deep / Whirl: That was a long and fancy way of saying, "life's unfair." B l u r r: Some people need long and fancy to get it through their thick heads. FakeProwl: It's hard right now. Drift: WHAT?!?! Drift: *he finished the book* B l u r r: / flicks finial. Geez that was right next to him / FakeProwl: ... And people keep shouting. B l u r r: / reaches over. Pats Drift / Drift: Are you okay?! ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Please contain your voices.]] Whirl: I'd think most of us would've learned it when life was kicking us in the teeth. Whirl: *now looks to Drift curiously* B l u r r: / tilts helm. Thinking / Drift: *attempts to contain.* Are you joining Optimus? Are you dating Roadbuster? Are you moving to that universe?? B l u r r: / makes a face / What- slow down. Pits. B l u r r: No, I'm not... I don't know about Optimus Prime of Tyran. He's ideal, but he's not... No, I'm not his type of Autobot. Whirl: He is totally dating Roadbuster. I can confirm this. B l u r r: I'm not moving anywhere, I live on The Emperor. Shockbox: (( Sounds pretty gay.)) FakeProwl: I dislike shouting. Why were we given the option to shout? Whirl: It's fun. FakeProwl: It's not fun, it's painful. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[So that others may hear us over other nosies in emergencies.]] ItsyBitsySpyers: noises not nosies omg)) FakeProwl: Wait. You enjoy enducing pain. FakeProwl: We could use comms for that. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[And if they are damaged?]] Whirl: It's not always painful. Does it--*now looks back to Prowl, curious again* You audials ARE really messed up. B l u r r: / makes a slight face/ And Roadbuster and I are... sort of... working on. Something. B l u r r: / they're 100% dating tbh / FakeProwl: It's not my audials. FakeProwl: ... I am going to focus on Soundwave's comment before you ask follow up questions. ItsyBitsySpyers: *A wise idea.* Whirl: Knock yourself out, mech. FakeProwl: If they are damaged, louder volume is a viable option. Whirl: *shrugs and returns to the movie* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Then that is one good reason why we have it.]] Whirl: *for the record Whirl is still totally unclear on what Prowl's exact deal is; he just knows he's being weird* Whirl: *and that he has a pipe in his head* ItsyBitsySpyers: *...This is a dream, isn't it.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *It's too happy for this setting.* FakeProwl: It shouldn't be used outside of emergencies, then. FakeProwl: I don't use my sirens outside of emergencies. B l u r r: [ is it dropping? ]] FakeProwl: ((fine here)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((nope)) Whirl: ((runnin fione!)) B l u r r: anyway... /vents/ I'm fine. / the usual response / Drift: In all the time I've known you, you've never been fine once. B l u r r: / sheepish shrug / Whirl: *SNORTS* Whirl: He speaks the truth, Teach. Drift: *pets Blurr's head* But, you're... not as bad as you've been. B l u r r: / makes a face /What's what mean? Drift: Well, you're not in a coma right now. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave considers this claim a moment. The answer's going to be public. He has to word this carefully.* Drift: And you're not actively dying, as far as I know. Whirl: That IS a big improvement over the usual. B l u r r: Not at the moment, no. Whirl: ...is this kid gonna throw a tantrum and break that clock. B l u r r: Most of my wounds from Thundertron are healed up. Drift: ... I'm—sorry, that I missed all that. That I wasn't here, when you were... B l u r r: And the damage from ... well. the first fight is done. FakeProwl: He is probably going to destroy the clock. FakeProwl: The clock is innocent. He shouldn't. Whirl: That little piece of sh it. ItsyBitsySpyers: @Prowl: (txt): Some enjoy hearing berth partner voice raised in satisfaction. That, second reason. B l u r r: / looks at drift. Shakes helm / You said you were busy. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Ahh, another story. He splits a little more focus toward the movie again.* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He believes this qualifies as breaking the 'touching something' rule.]] FakeProwl: If people have loud voices for emergency situations, then they can use those voices in the berth for partners who enjoy hearing it. That's no reason to shout in public. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You didn't specify public. You simply asked why we have the option.]] Whirl: I still maintain that shouting can be fun. FakeProwl: ... I did. Fair. FakeProwl: Why? Does Windchill like hearing it? Whirl: Hm. I dunno, we rarely yell at each other. Usually we sing at each other. Whirl: It's just enjoyable to yell. B l u r r: ...Well, he's right. It's satisfying. B l u r r: Very much so... B l u r r: / oh god its all so satisfying / Whirl: I hate him. Drift: *likes the moral of this story. it's... vindicating.* B l u r r: That's what my room looks like. /snort / B l u r r: / it's not funny but it's funny / Whirl: So we're, what, supposed to feel sorry for this kid? After he destroyed her house? B l u r r: who cares about her house? Whirl: It's not like she's going through the trauma of watching her DAUGHTER die, or anything. FakeProwl: Why do you hate him? He's destroying things in a senseless rage. Isn't that right up your alley? Whirl: Hey, all of my rages are entirely sensible. FakeProwl: So is his, from his perspective. B l u r r: Sometimes you can't control where your anger goes. /mumbling/ FakeProwl: Why do you hate him? Whirl: Well first of all, he destroyed a clock. That's practically a crime. Whirl: Second of all, he's useless and pathetic. B l u r r: Why's that? FakeProwl: ... Destroying someone else's property IS a crime. Whirl: I dunno, it'd be different, maybe, if he was even the least bit likeable. But he's a sniveling little wimp. FakeProwl: You're... protective of clocks? I didn't know that. Whirl: Won't even hit back when someone picks on him. B l u r r: / shrugs / Whirl: There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Prowl. FakeProwl: I know. B l u r r: sometimes it's harder to do that. Whirl: The only time it's hard is when you can't get to them, really. I mean, if they get away or something. B l u r r: / crosses arms and shifts / Or you can't beat them. Whirl: Pfft. Wouldn't know what THAT feels like. *preens* B l u r r: Sometimes it hurts so bad, you just take it out on the first thing you find. Like a room full of mostly junkish things... B l u r r: Or a cargo ship... B l u r r: / spacing out/ Or a pirate fleet... Whirl: *or a corpse. ...he's not saying that out loud* B l u r r: / staring off into the sky / FakeProwl: I don't take it out on the first thing I find. I save it to take it out on something that won't feel or inflict pain. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Listening to all of this and thinking to himself.* B l u r r: That takes too long. Whirl: *he's not even gonna comment, lest he say something incriminating* B l u r r: / flickering optic. Right, he has company / It's better to get rid of it fast. Whirl: Also, that's a dumb moral. Whirl: Believing doesn't get you anything. FakeProwl: No it's not. Getting rid of it fast hurts people that don't deserve the hurt. B l u r r: They can't hurt if they're dead. FakeProwl: Death is a near-infinite hurt. B l u r r: /shrugs shoulder / B l u r r: There are all types of infinite hurt. FakeProwl: There are. Death is one. B l u r r: Not always. FakeProwl: Always. B l u r r: If you let them go, yes. FakeProwl: ... Whose hurt are you talking about? I'm talking about the hurt of the person who dies. B l u r r: If they're dead, how do they hurt? B l u r r: Is their ghost going to come tell me how much it hurt? FakeProwl: It's the negation of every opportunity they could ever have in the future to be content or happy. B l u r r: You don't need to die to lose that in a future. FakeProwl: I never said you do. FakeProwl: Just that death is one way. B l u r r: / shrugs / Maybe where you're from. B l u r r: Where I'm from, once you die, you die. You get taken apart and they make someone different. FakeProwl: Are you suggesting that where your from, dying DOESN'T rob you of all future opportunities to be content or happy? FakeProwl: Are you claiming that you are capable of being content or happy after your death? B l u r r: You can't be- you're DEAD. FakeProwl: Exactly. Therefore, it's the same wehre you are. B l u r r: Once you die where I'm from, you cease existing at all. FakeProwl: Exactly. B l u r r: So how are you supposed to feel remorse when you're DEAD and CAN'T? FakeProwl: Who said anything about remorse? B l u r r: Oh for pit sake. FakeProwl: I don't know where remorse came from. B l u r r: You can't feel something if you're dead. B l u r r: nothing. Not a single thing. Not even pain. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Life is always in the eyes. Not the first time he's heard that. It makes him glad he covers his.* B l u r r: You can feel pain while /dying/. FakeProwl: I never said you could. B l u r r: I've been there plenty of times. B l u r r: then how is death near-infinite pain if you can't feel pain when you're dead? Whirl: *that is a phrase Whirl believes in, too* FakeProwl: I never said pain. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It is near-infinite pain for those who knew them.]] B l u r r: / scoffs/ FakeProwl: Hurt. Hurt is not necessarily the presence of a negative. As I am using it, it is the absolute absence of any positive. B l u r r: Yes, hurt and I are practically attached at the hip. B l u r r: I know what hurt is. Whirl: Well, that depends, Soundwave. FakeProwl: Then why are you arguing? Whirl: Some people would celebrate if I killed, say, Tarn. Whirl: I can't imagine anyone would mourn HIM. FakeProwl: The DJD would mourn him. B l u r r: I'm saying that the cargo ship I slaughtered  helped ease my hurt more than it caused theirs. B l u r r: Nothing else was helping. THAT helped. FakeProwl: I don't mind if the DJD mourns. Whirl: That's based on the assumption that they actually CARE about one another. Whirl: Which is a pretty big leap. FakeProwl: They do. Whirl: Why? You got the inside scoop or something? ItsyBitsySpyers: *Negative, negative, abort.* B l u r r: / hums / Kill him, kid. FakeProwl: Yes. Spies work for me. Whirl: Oh. Well. ...asked and answered. Whirl: Either way, then, I just consider their distress a bonus. Whirl: My only regret will be that I won't be able to watch them mourn. B l u r r: There you go. Whirl: FINALLY. Whirl: He's finally done something to make him almost likeable. FakeProwl: ... He wants to be punished. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Of course he does.]] FakeProwl: If he isn't punished, he doesn't matter. He doesn't exist. FakeProwl: Not being punished tells him that he makes no impact upon the world. Whirl: Hm. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There is a sense of failure as well.]] B l u r r: / ugh his buried feelings hurt / ItsyBitsySpyers: *They do indeed.* B l u r r: / flex claws. / B l u r r: / hhhh she reminds him of someone/ B l u r r: / yanks thermal over his helm / FakeProwl: This is a bad moral. Whirl: Agreed. FakeProwl: Don't break things that belong to other people. FakeProwl: Only break your own things. Whirl: It's just dumb. FakeProwl: ... Unless the other people deserve to have broken things. But those are rare cases. Whirl: *shakes his head; the film is not reachig him emotionally* FakeProwl: The DJD deserves to have broken things. If their things are broken, they can't kill as many people. Whirl: I'd rather break THEM. FakeProwl: Yes. Even better. Shockbox: *Not a fan of all this yelling, to be earnest.* Drift: *okay maybe it didn't touch whirl, but drift is feeling touched* Drift: *slowly clings to blurr* B l u r r: / tugs thermal down. Okay. He's good./ B l u r r: / pats Drift / Drift: *clings tighter* Whirl: Lord, just. Whirl: END THE SCENE. B l u r r: / is being clinged to / Whirl: Finally, sheesh. B l u r r: / pats Drift / Shockbox: *He and Whirl agree on something, for once.* ItsyBitsySpyers: ((NO IT DROPPED)) Whirl: ((whop.... it gone)) Drift: ((IT'S BLACK)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((AAAAAAH)) B l u r r: [[ i already paused it ]] B l u r r: [[lemme know when it's back. it reset ]] Drift: ((offline right now)) B l u r r: [[ well it WAS back. ]] B l u r r: [[ anyway it's paused, so. we can wait til LS gets its shiit together ]] Whirl: *steeetches in his hammock* B l u r r: / scrubs faceplate / Whirl: What were we even talking about? B l u r r: Pits, I don't know. B l u r r: I spaced out again. Whirl: *eyes him dubiously* You spaced out or you SPACED out? FakeProwl: This is the danger of giving people the ability to raise their volume so that they can use it during emergencies. B l u r r: What's the difference? FakeProwl: This was obviously an emergency but his shouting was useless. FakeProwl: And painful. Whirl: Like, normal spacing out or "your broken brain is messing up" spacing out? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[We do not know that it was useless. We have not seen the end.]] B l u r r: ... Dodge and Velocity were taking my attention over for the moment. Whirl: Oh, gotcha. Normal spacing out. FakeProwl: He did not summon help or give her necessary instructions to save herself. B l u r r: I spent all day with them yesterday, I don't know why they're being so demanding. Whirl: And, Prowl--sometimes, when you're feeling a lot of emotion, you just yell. Drift: Tell Velocity to shut up. Whirl: When your exhilarated, for instance. Whirl: *you're B l u r r: ... Ah. /twitches finials and looks at Drift / FakeProwl: That's why yelling is a bad skill to have. Whirl: It just bursts out. FakeProwl: It's too easy to abuse. B l u r r: I forgot to mention... /shrugs / Velocity is prominent right now. Whirl: It's not a skill, it's a reaction. B l u r r: He and Dodge both catch my attention much easier since I woke up. FakeProwl: If people have to have it in case of emergency, it should be something that can only manually be turned on. Whirl: Like flinching, or how you people sneeze, and stuff. B l u r r: Axis says it's an effect of my semi-long term catatonic state. B l u r r: [[ is it back ?? ]] Whirl: ((not yet)) Drift: ((nop)) Drift: Comas give you Velocity? Drift: Blurr, you're never allowed to have a coma again. B l u r r: No... Whirl: I'm glad *mine* didn't. B l u r r: The situation before all of that. B l u r r: That gave me Velocity. Drift: What's the new Optimus's number? I'm going to comm him and tell him to order you to never have a coma again. Whirl: I'd have to rip my brain module out of my head. B l u r r: [[ I reset it. So, idk if it's working ]] Whirl: ((THERE WE GO)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((aha!)) B l u r r: ... Don't. He's not my boss. Drift: Would it work? Drift: ((there it go)) Whirl: ...*sly look* Drift. B l u r r: ... I don't know. Drift: Yeah? Whirl: You should him Blurr needs a good stepping-on. B l u r r: [[ okay is it back for everyone ?? ]] Drift: ... *sly grin* B l u r r: ... / scrubs faceplate / FakeProwl: I think Blurr should be stepped on. Whirl: *snickers* FakeProwl: In a fatal way. B l u r r: Me too. Whirl: Well, I don't. FakeProwl: He believes that curing his own pain is more important than other people's lives. That's terrible. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Was going to protest that being said out loud, but Blurr just agreed, so...* B l u r r: ... /snort / B l u r r: I never said I was a good person. B l u r r: [[ soo... can we go now? ]] Drift: ((ye)) Whirl: ((yes)) ItsyBitsySpyers: ((yep)) Drift: Maybe not, Blurr. But you are... a hero. B l u r r: ... Stop. B l u r r: / crosses arms/ I did a few people a few favors. B l u r r: That's it. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You are entitled to think these things about shouting. Mind that you do not say them to Frenzy.]] Whirl: You saved a lot of Autobots' lives. FakeProwl: Frenzy can't help himself. Whirl: Hero. *points* B l u r r: Not a hero. /huffs / Whirl: Yep. B l u r r: The point is, I don't work for that Prime. B l u r r: / yet. / Drift: ... Would you if he stepped on you? B l u r r: I'd be ecstatic if he stepped on me. Whirl: *snickers* B l u r r: But, I don't work for him, or with him. We don't even talk. FakeProwl: That is a good moral. FakeProwl: Thoughts and beliefs do not matter. Only actions. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Small nod.* Whirl: *considers this* Whirl: *yeah he'd have to agree. But he' Whirl: s not going to say it out loud* FakeProwl: *rude. prowl's been baring his soul over here tonight and whirl won't even agree with him when he's right.* FakeProwl: *admittedly, prowl hasn't been WILLINGLY baring his soul, but.* Whirl: *it absolutely IS rude, but Whirl dislikes Prowl for the moment* B l u r r: ... / oh for pit sake his insides hurt / B l u r r: / makes a noise / FakeProwl: *"for the moment"* Whirl: *anything is possible* Whirl: *he's still carrying a grudge from that last meeting* B l u r r: / hhhhh. his insides are hurting more / FakeProwl: This is sad. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Soundwave's spark has joined Blurr's insides in aching. This is ridiculous. He should not be affected or reminded of these things by organics. They barely live a blink.* FakeProwl: He should say "I love you." Whirl: To be honest, I figured that would be the "simplest truth" the monster was talking about. FakeProwl: That's what most people regret not saying to someone who's going to die that they love. He hasn't said that. B l u r r: / oh shiit it hurts / FakeProwl: I figured that too. B l u r r: / tugs thermal over his helm / B l u r r: / he doesn't like stories about letting go / FakeProwl: Good. I'm not the only one that figured that. B l u r r: / ohhh no no no he's buried under here / FakeProwl: Maybe the hug was a symbolic "I love you"? Drift: *SQUEEZES* Whirl: *shrugs* The answer to cheesy lines like that is usually "love." Whirl: Movies love to do that. B l u r r: / muffled noise / Whirl: ...heh. B l u r r: / is squeezed / FakeProwl: It's not a bad thing to say to someone who is dying. Whirl: I guess not. FakeProwl: ... I mean, unless the person who is dying isn't somebody you love, of course. But provided that they are. B l u r r: / this mass of thermal is moving closer to Drift / Drift: *good. easier to squeeze.* B l u r r: / his processor is running too many miles a minute / Shockbox: ((Ahem. I left to shower right after the stream broke. What happened?)) FakeProwl: ((the kid confessed that on some level he actually wanted his mom to die so he could stop waiting for it to happen)) FakeProwl: ((even though he'd miss her.)) FakeProwl: ((then grandma came and took him to the hospital and he and grandma and the monster watched mom die.)) FakeProwl: ((they had a hug and he told mom he didn't want her to go.)) B l u r r: / noiSEs / Shockbox: ((Sounds legit.)) Whirl: Passable, not nothing remarkable. Whirl: *waves a claw at the screen* Shockbox: Did you intend to make a double negative? Whirl: ...nope. Whirl: I meant to say but. Whirl: *someone made a typing error oops* Shockbox: Ah. Whirl: I mean, to be perfectly honest, though, I don't care much about grammar, so I might as well have said it. B l u r r: / yanks thermal down off his helm/ Wait, does that mean the monster was a decent monster? Whirl: It definitely wasn't the villain. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[He suspects whether or not it is remarkable to someone depends on what they have experienced.]] Drift: Yeah. He helped the kid work through his emotional issues. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[It seems like the kind of tale that would.]] Drift: The monster was... a hero. B l u r r: Oh for pit sake... B l u r r: I'm not a hero. Drift: I'm just talking about the monster, Blurr. He was definitely a hero. Don't you think so, Whirl? B l u r r: / rolls optic and scrubs faceplate / Whirl: I guess the movie would connect with you more if you could... get on it slevel, yeah. *shrugs* But I didn't think it was very well put together. Whirl: *to Drift* Oh, yes. Of course. Whirl: ((SLEVEL. WOW MY TYPING IS SO GOOD)) Shockbox: *Welp. That was all the time he had for interacting. He takes leave* B l u r r: Well... at least /he/ got to say goodbye in his own way. /grumbling to vacant air / Shockbox: ((G'night.)) ItsyBitsySpyers: *A farewell nod to Shockwave* B l u r r: (( ni ni ! )) ItsyBitsySpyers: [[To each their own.]] FakeProwl: I'm not going to judge the movie structure because I don't know anything about art. B l u r r: / shifts and looks over at Drift / Well, either way. Heroic monsters aren't so bad. Less violent. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[You do not need to know. You experienced it. You are allowed to have a feeling about your experience.]] FakeProwl: I'm not qualified to have an opinion about experiences I'm ill-equipped to understand. Drift: He was pretty violent. B l u r r: I guess so. Drift: Knocked down a guy's house for no real reason. B l u r r: He had a reason. Whirl: Oh, of course. *waves a claw* I mean, one person's word isn't the say-all, be-all about just about any art. Drift: Was kind of a vague on. B l u r r: In any case, it makes my insides hurt. Drift: ... No taking out parts of yourself. B l u r r: ... Well, we're a little late on that. Whirl: Though there are SOME arts that I will say are more objective than subjective--film isn't really one of em. Drift: Dammit, Blurr. B l u r r: I didn't do it right now. Drift: No taking out MORE parts. Show me your hands. B l u r r: I'm missing a lot of parts. B l u r r: / holds out claws. Empty / Drift: *takes them.* B l u r r: / wiggles digits / Drift: *wiggles fingers* B l u r r: See? Nothing. B l u r r: But, when I fought Thundertron, I was missing a lot of parts. Drift: Good. I'm keeping it that way. *hand is hold.* B l u r r: That was... a little after the whole thing with JT. B l u r r: / oh. Hold hands is nice / Whirl: *watches Blurr and Drift for a moment. Deep down, it still makes Whirl a little bit jealous, but for once, he's going to be happy for someone else; nobody makes Blurr perk up like Drift does* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Not sure how to respond to that. Surely Prowl has the right to say what the movie made him feel? Unless he doesn't know how he feels. Maybe that's the pipe talking.* Whirl: *the rare moment of almost-but-not-quite selflessness passes as quickly as a shooting star; if you blink, you'll miss it* B l u r r: In other news, I gained a fleet. An entire fleet. All with my flag on their airships. Drift: ... *squeezes hands tighter.* B l u r r: Though, I don't... remember the three weeks after I got them. /snort / Drift: *is like... 85% sure that BLURR wasn't the one who caused the fight with JT* B l u r r: / he waS / B l u r r: / flexes claws / Drift: Yeah? A fleet's cool. Drift: How many ships? B l u r r: er... I haven't counted. Drift: Gimme an estimate. B l u r r: ... /wrinkles nasal ridge / Fifty? B l u r r: / he's probably very wrong / Whirl: Damn, Teach, movin on up. B l u r r: / hums / Think so? B l u r r: / shifts/ You know... /nods at Whirl/ it's thanks to you I woke up at all, says Axis. So. If you ever want anything- well, I would have given it before. B l u r r: But, you know. Thanks. /flicks finials/ Dodge says so, too. Whirl: *tilts his head, then nods* If there's anything I know I'm good at, it's disturbing someone else's peaceful rest. Anytime, Teach. Drift: Wow, that's not bad. Most ships I've ever commanded at one time was ten. B l u r r: / snort/ ... / looks back at Drift / It's very hard. Drift: ... You helped him out, Whirl? B l u r r: Apparently Whirl manhandled Dart and NOS to get to me. /snort / Whirl: Because I couldn't trust those chumps to LEVEL with me. Whirl: They hid the whole "coma" thing for me for a whole night. Made an idiout out of me. They're lucky I didn't do something WORSE. B l u r r: It wasn't a coma. /vents / Drift: I guess that makes you... a hero. B l u r r: ..... Whirl: *LAUGHS* Whirl: *AND KEEPS ON LAUGHING* B l u r r: / snort / Whirl: *LAUGHS SO HARD HIS CRAPPY VOCALIZER STARTS GLITCHING OUT AND MAKING WEIRD DIAL-UP NOISES* Drift: Don't hurt yourself. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Startled back to the present. What is -- oh, Whirl. All right.* B l u r r: Yes, that wouldn't be ideal. Whirl: *wheezes* FakeProwl: ... That's painful too. FakeProwl: Are there more painful noises than usual or am I more sensitive than usual? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Both.]] Whirl: *with a modulated trill and a pop, his vocalizer resets* I get where you're going with that one, Drift, but I'm way too far in the red for that. Drift: Nobody's too far in the red for an act of heroism. B l u r r: I mean, look at me. B l u r r: You mechs keep calling ME a hero. Whirl: You're a lot younger than me. Whirl: I've had way more time to rack up terrible, terrible acts. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has little else to say about the film in public, but may have something to say afterward. He is undecided.* Whirl: And, well, sorry Prowl, but that was involuntary. B l u r r: I don't know. I'm pretty fast on my pedes. I'm sure I've got a long record. ItsyBitsySpyers: *For now, he pings Prowl to alert him to incoming contact and traps his hand in a silent request for him to stay behind longer than the others - if possible. Health comes first.* Whirl: No helping you with that. You just gotta be sure never to make me laugh. ...which shouldn't be hard. B l u r r: In any case, that almost made me laugh. /snort / FakeProwl: My comment was involuntary too. B l u r r: / he doesn't laugh too often anymore at the moment / FakeProwl: Everything I've said for the past two movie nights has been completely involuntary. Whirl: *swivels his helm to stare at Prowl* FakeProwl: Except for any instances of "please," "thank you," "excuse me," "I'm sorry," or any other such etiquete phrases. Whirl: WHAT kinda DRUGS do they have you on? I thought you were acting kind of weird. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The kinds of drugs you would expect for a mech with such an injury.]] FakeProwl: I told you, I'm not on anything. I turned off my pain receptors, I don't need anything. FakeProwl: I just have a pipe in my head. It is literally pushing my brain module. FakeProwl: Well. Not literally. It is literally pushing against my right optic, which is pushing my brain module. Whirl: I don't know what those kinds of drugs are. Do I look like a medic? *or someone who would be responsible enough to let a medic get their hands on him after an injury?* B l u r r: It's probably going to cause a few different changes. Depends on what it's pushing. Whirl: Oh. Whirl: ...wait. So, you're--like. This is brain damage talking? Right now? B l u r r: / taps his helm / If it's the frontal part or the left or right temporal areas. /vents/ Though , your processors are probably different. FakeProwl: Yes. Whirl: That. Explains a lot. FakeProwl: Did you think I was talking about my weaknesses and insecurities in a mixed crowd willingly? Whirl: I didn't know what your deal was, Prowl. FakeProwl: We founded a club together. You should at least notice when I'm acting blatantly and wildly out of character. Whirl: Maybe you're reinventing yourself. How'm I supposed to know? FakeProwl: ... Then again, nobody noticed when I had a Decepticon in my head, so why am I surprised. Whirl: I don't psychoanalyze everyone I meet. I'm not YOU. FakeProwl: The past few years have taught me that I'm far more mysterious then I've spent the past five million years of my life thinking I am. FakeProwl: I suppose that's a good thing, except for the fact that I learned this in the most depressing ways possible. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Had a--* Whirl: Well. ...hard lesson: learned, then, right? B l u r r: A lesson learned is a lesson learned all the same. FakeProwl: Yes. Hard lesson learned. Whirl: But if you don't wanna walk around compulsively just... telling the truth, all the time, maybe ask them to knock you out. Whirl: That's what I'd do, probably. FakeProwl: I can't do that. I have a pipe in my head. It might make the damage worse. B l u r r: What's so bad about telling the truth, anyway? B l u r r: I tell the truth all the time. FakeProwl: I have a lot of secrets. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There are some things that should not be spoken aloud.]] B l u r r: So do I. Whirl: Maybe pump the brakes there, Prowl. B l u r r: I have a few skeletons in my closet . So what? Whirl: Before you go into that subject. *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Which is why he suggests moving on to other subjects.]] B l u r r: / hahaaa see what he did there? FakeProwl: Long Haul has started sitting next to my berth and putting a hand over my mouth before I say things he thinks I don't want to say. But he's not here. B l u r r: So pretend he is. FakeProwl: Blurr, we know about the skeletons in your closet. You threw a birthday party for one. They're not secrets. Whirl: ...would putting a hand on your mouth even stop a holoform from talking? B l u r r: Who said I only had one? FakeProwl: I said skeletons plural. B l u r r: And Dodge deserved that party. B l u r r: He's been a great support. Whirl: And, ey, you do you, Teach. If you wanna share your whole... deal with the world, have at it. B l u r r: /I/ don't tell people /anything/ anymore. Whirl: I, personally, just wanna save myself some embarrssment. No big secrets here. *WHAT A WHOPPER* B l u r r: Which is why I am in the situation I'm in. Whirl: *BUT ONE DELIVERED with an utterly straight face. ...well, "face."* FakeProwl: You have secrets. B l u r r: Everyone has secrets. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Everyone does.]] B l u r r: / finger guns at soundwave / B l u r r: / that's his form of a wink tbh / Whirl: I said "big" secrets. Whirl: I mean, yeah, I've got stuff I like to keep personal, of course I do. B l u r r: Look, everyone has one big secret they don't tell anyone. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Just one?]] B l u r r: / shrugs/ I have a lt. B l u r r: *lot. Whirl: Despite what you might have been told, *dryly* I am slightly more complicated that "a pair of guns attached to some legs." ItsyBitsySpyers: [[In his experience, most people have many more than that.]] Whirl: Nope. My sins have been laid bare. Mostly. FakeProwl: We're talking about everyone's one big secrets. This is dangerous because I'm going to start thinking about mine and then I'm going to say it. I'm leaving. Goodbye. FakeProwl: *he leaves. goodbye.* Whirl: ...oops. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh DAMN it. He should have known better. That's -- all right.* Whirl: That one wasn't my fault, for the record. B l u r r: /shrugs / B l u r r: The subject was brought up? FakeProwl: *AND FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE MANAGED TO SELF-CENSOR. BY REMOVING HIMSELF ENTIRELY.* Whirl: *YOU DID IT PROWL* B l u r r: / good job prowl! / B l u r r: / vents and shifts and stands to stretch. SAY HELLO TO SCARS AND NEW MODS / ItsyBitsySpyers: *He'll ping Prowl a 'well done'. And then an apology. Because he didn't quite think about that new subject.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Records those scars and mods, if they're visible.* Whirl: *watches Blurr for a bit and then pings Drift* @D: Hey. You know how Blurr is. Look after him, yeah? You're the only person he really trusts. B l u r r: / most of them are / Whirl: @D: And I'm not convinced that whatever took him down isn't over. B l u r r: / his mod is on his back so. here it is. Everyone check out the speed disc / Drift: @W «Sounds like you've been doing a pretty good job of looking after him lately.» B l u r r: / go speED RACER / Drift: @W «I mean—of course I'm going to look after him too, but... I'm trying to say thanks, basically.» Whirl: @D: As much as he'll let me, but there's a limit to that. Like it or not, you're responsible for this hot mess. Drift: Hey. *lightly smacks new mod.* So this is the big treasure, huh? B l u r r: / turns helm and spins around / Yep. B l u r r: Increases my speed ten fold. Whirl: *he doesn't look startled, or suspicious; he simply inclines his head in Drift's direction* @D: No sweat. Drift: Nice. How much damage does it do, though? Did Axis say it was safe? B l u r r: [[ everytime you @ Drift, I see a worried D: face and im like OH NO ]] Whirl: ((PFFT)) B l u r r: Axis already cleared me for using it. B l u r r: It wasn't the mod that broke my processor. Whirl: ((Drift's actual face when he finds out something bad happened to Blurr)) B l u r r: It didn't help, but... it wasn't that. FakeProwl: *prowl doesn't answer soundwave's ping because now he IS thinking about his secrets and talking about them to the constructicons.* FakeProwl: *so. yknow. better not call anyone else.* Drift: Even if it isn't, I wanna make sure it isn't gonna hurt anything else, you know? B l u r r: It won't. I think. B l u r r: All of this started with Tyran. I meddled... and I became friends with mechs I shouldn't have. B l u r r: And then HE came over and started spewing nonsense and /I/ was worried. Drift: More friends is always good. B l u r r: More friends, yes, sure. Maybe. B l u r r: But I don't think Roadbuster wants to be friends. Whirl: *streetches* All right,losers. I'm out. See you guys. B l u r r: In fact, I know he doesn't. B l u r r: ... /waves at Whirl / B l u r r: thanks... again. Whirl: *bobs his head at Blurr and Drift and Soundwave* Whirl: *...so, everyone left really* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods.* Drift: *waves* Drift: *and then rECLAIMS BLURR'S HANDS* B l u r r: / omg / B l u r r: / flickers optic / ... Hi. Whirl: Anytime, Teach! *and he is gone* Drift: Hi. :) B l u r r: ... /tilts helm / You're worrying about nothing, you know. Everything is fine. Drift: That's never true with you, Blurr. B l u r r: ... /long vent / All right, I'm not fine. But... I mean, I'm not dead? Drift: That's good. Stay that way. B l u r r: ... I can try. B l u r r: I made you the book because I didn't know how to explain... all of that. Drift: ... I think hanging out with the other Autobots might be good for you. Even if it's not your own Optimus. B l u r r: /makes a face / It's hard to do that... Drift: Yeah. Thanks. It helped. B l u r r: But, Roadbuster and Topspin visit sometimes. And Optimus seems to talk to me on a level that's more... the same level. B l u r r: Some human likes me. Drift: That's good. They're visiting you, they're talking to you... B l u r r: When they can. I guess they're busy with their whole... problem. Drift: ... You could go help them. B l u r r: .. no. B l u r r: I can't... that's how I got into this whole mess. Drift: I don't think it's a mess. You've met people who like hanging out with you.
Missed some.
B l u r r: ….. Whirl: *LAUGHS* Whirl: *AND KEEPS ON LAUGHING* B l u r r: / snort / Whirl: *LAUGHS SO HARD HIS CRAPPY VOCALIZER STARTS GLITCHING OUT AND MAKING WEIRD DIAL-UP NOISES* Drift: Don’t hurt yourself. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Startled back to the present. What is – oh, Whirl. All right.* B l u r r: Yes, that wouldn’t be ideal. Whirl: *wheezes* FakeProwl: … That’s painful too. FakeProwl: Are there more painful noises than usual or am I more sensitive than usual? ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Both.]] Whirl: *with a modulated trill and a pop, his vocalizer resets* I get where you’re going with that one, Drift, but I’m way too far in the red for that. Drift: Nobody’s too far in the red for an act of heroism. B l u r r: I mean, look at me. B l u r r: You mechs keep calling ME a hero. Whirl: You’re a lot younger than me. Whirl: I’ve had way more time to rack up terrible, terrible acts. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Has little else to say about the film in public, but may have something to say afterward. He is undecided.* Whirl: And, well, sorry Prowl, but that was involuntary. B l u r r: I don’t know. I’m pretty fast on my pedes. I’m sure I’ve got a long record. ItsyBitsySpyers: *For now, he pings Prowl to alert him to incoming contact and traps his hand in a silent request for him to stay behind longer than the others - if possible. Health comes first.* Whirl: No helping you with that. You just gotta be sure never to make me laugh. …which shouldn’t be hard. B l u r r: In any case, that almost made me laugh. /snort / FakeProwl: My comment was involuntary too. B l u r r: / he doesn’t laugh too often anymore at the moment / FakeProwl: Everything I’ve said for the past two movie nights has been completely involuntary. Whirl: *swivels his helm to stare at Prowl* FakeProwl: Except for any instances of “please,” “thank you,” “excuse me,” “I’m sorry,” or any other such etiquete phrases. Whirl: WHAT kinda DRUGS do they have you on? I thought you were acting kind of weird. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[The kinds of drugs you would expect for a mech with such an injury.]] FakeProwl: I told you, I’m not on anything. I turned off my pain receptors, I don’t need anything. FakeProwl: I just have a pipe in my head. It is literally pushing my brain module. FakeProwl: Well. Not literally. It is literally pushing against my right optic, which is pushing my brain module. Whirl: I don’t know what those kinds of drugs are. Do I look like a medic? *or someone who would be responsible enough to let a medic get their hands on him after an injury?* B l u r r: It’s probably going to cause a few different changes. Depends on what it’s pushing. Whirl: Oh. Whirl: …wait. So, you’re–like. This is brain damage talking? Right now? B l u r r: / taps his helm / If it’s the frontal part or the left or right temporal areas. /vents/ Though , your processors are probably different. FakeProwl: Yes. Whirl: That. Explains a lot. FakeProwl: Did you think I was talking about my weaknesses and insecurities in a mixed crowd willingly? Whirl: I didn’t know what your deal was, Prowl. FakeProwl: We founded a club together. You should at least notice when I’m acting blatantly and wildly out of character. Whirl: Maybe you’re reinventing yourself. How’m I supposed to know? FakeProwl: … Then again, nobody noticed when I had a Decepticon in my head, so why am I surprised. Whirl: I don’t psychoanalyze everyone I meet. I’m not YOU. FakeProwl: The past few years have taught me that I’m far more mysterious then I’ve spent the past five million years of my life thinking I am. FakeProwl: I suppose that’s a good thing, except for the fact that I learned this in the most depressing ways possible. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Had a–* Whirl: Well. …hard lesson: learned, then, right? B l u r r: A lesson learned is a lesson learned all the same. FakeProwl: Yes. Hard lesson learned. Whirl: But if you don’t wanna walk around compulsively just… telling the truth, all the time, maybe ask them to knock you out. Whirl: That’s what I’d do, probably. FakeProwl: I can’t do that. I have a pipe in my head. It might make the damage worse. B l u r r: What’s so bad about telling the truth, anyway? B l u r r: I tell the truth all the time. FakeProwl: I have a lot of secrets. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[There are some things that should not be spoken aloud.]] B l u r r: So do I. Whirl: Maybe pump the brakes there, Prowl. B l u r r: I have a few skeletons in my closet . So what? Whirl: Before you go into that subject. *snorts* ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Which is why he suggests moving on to other subjects.]] B l u r r: / hahaaa see what he did there? FakeProwl: Long Haul has started sitting next to my berth and putting a hand over my mouth before I say things he thinks I don’t want to say. But he’s not here. B l u r r: So pretend he is. FakeProwl: Blurr, we know about the skeletons in your closet. You threw a birthday party for one. They’re not secrets. Whirl: …would putting a hand on your mouth even stop a holoform from talking? B l u r r: Who said I only had one? FakeProwl: I said skeletons plural. B l u r r: And Dodge deserved that party. B l u r r: He’s been a great support. Whirl: And, ey, you do you, Teach. If you wanna share your whole… deal with the world, have at it. B l u r r: /I/ don’t tell people /anything/ anymore. Whirl: I, personally, just wanna save myself some embarrssment. No big secrets here. *WHAT A WHOPPER* B l u r r: Which is why I am in the situation I’m in. Whirl: *BUT ONE DELIVERED with an utterly straight face. …well, “face.”* FakeProwl: You have secrets. B l u r r: Everyone has secrets. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Everyone does.]] B l u r r: / finger guns at soundwave / B l u r r: / that’s his form of a wink tbh / Whirl: I said “big” secrets. Whirl: I mean, yeah, I’ve got stuff I like to keep personal, of course I do. B l u r r: Look, everyone has one big secret they don’t tell anyone. ItsyBitsySpyers: [[Just one?]] B l u r r: / shrugs/ I have a lt. B l u r r: *lot. Whirl: Despite what you might have been told, *dryly* I am slightly more complicated that “a pair of guns attached to some legs.” ItsyBitsySpyers: [[In his experience, most people have many more than that.]] Whirl: Nope. My sins have been laid bare. Mostly. FakeProwl: We’re talking about everyone’s one big secrets. This is dangerous because I’m going to start thinking about mine and then I’m going to say it. I’m leaving. Goodbye. FakeProwl: *he leaves. goodbye.* Whirl: …oops. ItsyBitsySpyers: *Oh DAMN it. He should have known better. That’s – all right.* Whirl: That one wasn’t my fault, for the record. B l u r r: /shrugs / B l u r r: The subject was brought up? FakeProwl: *AND FOR THE FIRST TIME. HE MANAGED TO SELF-CENSOR. BY REMOVING HIMSELF ENTIRELY.* Whirl: *YOU DID IT PROWL* B l u r r: / good job prowl! / B l u r r: / vents and shifts and stands to stretch. SAY HELLO TO SCARS AND NEW MODS / ItsyBitsySpyers: *He’ll ping Prowl a ‘well done’. And then an apology. Because he didn’t quite think about that new subject.* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Records those scars and mods, if they’re visible.* Whirl: *watches Blurr for a bit and then pings Drift* @D: Hey. You know how Blurr is. Look after him, yeah? You’re the only person he really trusts. B l u r r: / most of them are / Whirl: @D: And I’m not convinced that whatever took him down isn’t over. B l u r r: / his mod is on his back so. here it is. Everyone check out the speed disc / Drift: @W «Sounds like you’ve been doing a pretty good job of looking after him lately.» B l u r r: / go speED RACER / Drift: @W «I mean—of course I’m going to look after him too, but… I’m trying to say thanks, basically.» Whirl: @D: As much as he’ll let me, but there’s a limit to that. Like it or not, you’re responsible for this hot mess. Drift: Hey. *lightly smacks new mod.* So this is the big treasure, huh? B l u r r: / turns helm and spins around / Yep. B l u r r: Increases my speed ten fold. Whirl: *he doesn’t look startled, or suspicious; he simply inclines his head in Drift’s direction* @D: No sweat. Drift: Nice. How much damage does it do, though? Did Axis say it was safe? B l u r r: [[ everytime you @ Drift, I see a worried D: face and im like OH NO ]] Whirl: ((PFFT)) B l u r r: Axis already cleared me for using it. B l u r r: It wasn’t the mod that broke my processor. Whirl: ((Drift’s actual face when he finds out something bad happened to Blurr)) B l u r r: It didn’t help, but… it wasn’t that. FakeProwl: *prowl doesn’t answer soundwave’s ping because now he IS thinking about his secrets and talking about them to the constructicons.* FakeProwl: *so. yknow. better not call anyone else.* Drift: Even if it isn’t, I wanna make sure it isn’t gonna hurt anything else, you know? B l u r r: It won’t. I think. B l u r r: All of this started with Tyran. I meddled… and I became friends with mechs I shouldn’t have. B l u r r: And then HE came over and started spewing nonsense and /I/ was worried. Drift: More friends is always good. B l u r r: More friends, yes, sure. Maybe. B l u r r: But I don’t think Roadbuster wants to be friends. Whirl: *streetches* All right,losers. I’m out. See you guys. B l u r r: In fact, I know he doesn’t. B l u r r: … /waves at Whirl / B l u r r: thanks… again. Whirl: *bobs his head at Blurr and Drift and Soundwave* Whirl: *…so, everyone left really* ItsyBitsySpyers: *Nods.* Drift: *waves* Drift: *and then rECLAIMS BLURR’S HANDS* B l u r r: / omg / B l u r r: / flickers optic / … Hi. Whirl: Anytime, Teach! *and he is gone* Drift: Hi. :) B l u r r: … /tilts helm / You’re worrying about nothing, you know. Everything is fine. Drift: That’s never true with you, Blurr. B l u r r: … /long vent / All right, I’m not fine. But… I mean, I’m not dead? Drift: That’s good. Stay that way. B l u r r: … I can try. B l u r r: I made you the book because I didn’t know how to explain… all of that. Drift: … I think hanging out with the other Autobots might be good for you. Even if it’s not your own Optimus. B l u r r: /makes a face / It’s hard to do that… Drift: Yeah. Thanks. It helped. B l u r r: But, Roadbuster and Topspin visit sometimes. And Optimus seems to talk to me on a level that’s more… the same level. B l u r r: Some human likes me. Drift: That’s good. They’re visiting you, they’re talking to you… B l u r r: When they can. I guess they’re busy with their whole… problem. Drift: … You could go help them. B l u r r: .. no. B l u r r: I can’t… that’s how I got into this whole mess. Drift: I don’t think it’s a mess. You’ve met people who like hanging out with you. B l u r r: That’s not the mess, Drift. Drift: What’s the mess, then? B l u r r: / makes a face/ Roadbuster… he and I weren’t supposed to… Drift: … I don’t think that’s a mess, either. B l u r r: What if I’m just attaching onto him because I miss mine? B l u r r: Without knowing it. Drift: So what if you are? Drift: He’s got the same traits you liked in the first one. B l u r r: I don’t replace people. Everyone is unique. B l u r r: What if I’m with him for the wrong reasons ? Drift: What’s wrong with being with him because you’re attracted to him for the same reasons you were attracted to his alternate? B l u r r: … Because I don’t want to forget my Wrecker. B l u r r: And then there’s JT… B l u r r: / makes a slight noise. Something between a gag and a whine. It’s odd. / Drift: You’ll never forget your Wrecker. I promise. Drift: *yeah. JT. grimaces.* Drift: … I’m sorry. B l u r r: …What for? /flicks finials/ B l u r r: Don’t. It was my fault. Drift: *vague shrug. can’t say for messing that up because Blurr hasn’t admitted it was Drift’s fault.* B l u r r: [[ IT WAS BOTH OUR FAULTS ]] Drift: Just—sorry. That’s all. B l u r r: … Well. There in lies the problem. B l u r r: He came back. Drift: … He did? Drift: Wait. So, does he wanna—? B l u r r: / vents/ When I left… he chased me off his ship. B l u r r: Said he never wanted to see me again. B l u r r: So, imagine my surprise when he’s knocking on my door… B l u r r: A month later. Drift: … That’s a good sign. B l u r r: A month after being stuck with Velocity. B l u r r: Does a lot of damage, honestly. B l u r r: But, from the beginning, I didn’t say anything to anybody. After that whole fight with JT, I figured it was over. B l u r r: / shrugs shoulders/ What can I say? I lost it.
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3one3 · 6 years
Text
The Sequel - 879
Chicken and Egg
André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)
original epic tale
all chapters of The Sequel
“Here are some, who like to run. They run for fun, in the hot, hot sun. Oh me! Oh my! Oh me! Oh my! What a lot of funny things go by. Some have two feet, and some have four. Some have 6 feet, and some have more. Where do they-“
“Delivery for Christina Schürrle.”
“Hey, we’re trying to read a story here, man.”
“I’m just the messenger’s messenger.”
Tom bent down to show Christina the gift basket delivered for her while she was sitting on the concrete apron at the back of the barn, under the overhang with the hanging baskets of fall flowers. He put one of her bagged chairs out there with a little bench seat from the picnic table by the outdoor wash stalls so that she could sit outside with Lukas and get some fresh air on Saturday. They could have gotten their air on a lounger in the backyard too, but André suggested they go to the barn so that they could watch he horses wander around and graze in their paddocks. The recovering rider brought her knitted monogram throw out from her office, green tea for two, and Dr. Seuss.
“What’s that?” her son questioned about the plastic-wrapped basket.
“It’s a get well soon gift from someone. From Juan,” Christina corrected with a smile. There were some things sticking out of the basket that gave it away. In addition to the cans of Wolfgang Puck chicken noodle soup, the perfect looking oranges and apples, a bag of cough drops, box of saltines, packet of tissues, and the stuffed dog with the stethoscope, she spied two brand new regular Chap Sticks, a netted bag of lemons, a bee-shaped bottle of organic honey, a sampler box of Fortnum & Mason tea, a bunch of pretty sunflowers, a very large Sotheby’s real estate magazine, and an envelope labeled “Last Will and Testament”. “Do you want the puppy?”
“Yeah!”
“Should I leave it with you or do you want to free the puppy and then I’ll put it in your office?” Tom questioned. He also helped open up the heavy-duty plastic wrapping at the top of the big basket so that she could reach in and get the stuffed Beagle-like dog without spilling the rest of the comforting or healing or boredom-curing supplies out on the ground.
“You could put it in the office, please. That way I don’t have to fight the real dogs away from it whenever they come back from escorting Isa and Pepito to the back paddocks. Wait- Lemme see what flavor the cough drops are first.” The boss closed her arm tighter around her son so he wouldn’t fall out of her lap when she leaned over to look into the basket while Tom had it on the ground. I could go for something butterscotchy right now, she thought, hopeful. I’m so sick of cherry lozenges. They’re so sugary and artificial. I think what I’m thinking of is actually just a Werther’s candy though, not a cough drop.
“Looks like...Dual Action Honey Lemon. Soothes cough and relieves sore throat.”
“God. Bless him. Gimme.” She opened and closed her fingers greedily while Lukas examined the stuffed animal. Tom opened the Ricola bag for her and held it open so she could help herself. The vomiting phase of her flu was over and she felt markedly better, but in addition to the persistent nose and throat issues, Christina was allover weak and achy and seriously lacking strength. Her number-one groom had to help her undo a buckle on Kimi’s bridle when she tried to be useful and take it off while he removed the lunging surcingle he used while putting the Irish horse through his paces on the line. Her hands in particular were difficult. They kept shaking. It might have been tough for her to pull the bag open but she could manage untwisting the little wrapper on a honey lemon drop. She stuffed a few in her fleece in case they were really good.
“For me?” her little blonde questioned.
“No. You won’t like them. Thanks, Tom Tom.”
“Are you going to try to teach later when the kids get back?”
“I would like to, but Schü will get home before that and he probably won’t-“ Christina interrupted herself with a violent sneeze, which Lukas said was “ew”. She had tissues in her pocket and used them to wipe her nose and also the sticky stuff that came out of her mouth into her hands, from the cough drop. “’Scuse me,” she mumbled apologetically. To sneeze was to suffer great pain in her throat, nose, and head, and the skin around her nose too.
“Keep me updated. If you’re not teaching, I’m going home early. The kids can tack their own horses if it’s not for lessons.”
“They can tack their own horses regardless.”
“In my stable, horses are prepared for lessons with the trainer by the groom.”
“Sir, yes sir.” She saluted her friend and Lukas copied the gesture. Only he got a return salute. Tom then left with the basket of goodies, and Christina got the book out to continue the story. I’ll call Juanin when I get up. I can’t get to that pocket now anyway, she realized as her audience shifted around on her lap to get comfortable to hear his story. He knew he couldn’t sit or lay on her right side because the right jacket pocket had the tissues. The iPhone was in the left, under his butt.
Meanwhile, at Brackel, André was keeping Marco company in the gym. He was already done with his training for the day. International breaks made for lonely times at the club, and long-term rehab was always lonely to begin with. He hated being separated from the team, so he was happy to linger and do a little extra work while Marco was in there so that they could talk and sort of hang out together while a physio supervised the program. Germany would play later, and the two Die Mannschaft stars tried to talk about predictions for the match and the line up without complaining about how much it sucked to be in their positions instead of with the team. Both valued positivity, and forward thinking. Marco of course had a much longer and more difficult history of missing out due to injury. André was only recently beginning to understand the challenge of suffering injuries so close, and suffering such long-term interruptions to his training, fitness, and rhythm. Marco was a lot better at bouncing back. It didn’t take him a handful of games to find a groove. He started scoring as soon as he was back playing, almost every time.
“Mario is coming over to watch with me and Noah. You want to come too or are you still the nurse at home?”
“She’s out of bed today but I don’t think she’s well enough to do dinner for the baby.”
“He’s two and a half. How long are you going to call him a baby?”
“Forever, probably,” André shrugged. “Are you still going to Spain tomorrow?”
“Yeah, for sure. Finally. I can’t wait to get out of here. It’s so dead. Beach time. Zoe is such a better housemate after we go to the beach, too,” Marco huffed, straining against the weight he was working with. “Are you taking the few days or staying to work?”
“Work.”
“Do you do all the extra work because it actually helps, because you want it to, or because you think you have to send that signal to the trainer?”
“Right now I’m on this bike to keep your skinny, weak ass company in here because I feel bad for you,” the taller, blonder player smirked in the mirror in front of him, which allowed him to see the other player.
“The work helps,” their physio minder interjected. “It improves the body, and it tricks the mind to think the body is even sharper than it is, and then the mind tells the body it can do more than it feels it can.”
“Everyone keeps telling me that but I haven’t experienced it yet,” André shot back. He was spiky about it, and trying to be funny. Inside, he honestly believed he wasn’t getting the intended effect. The whole idea is that you know you’ve done so much work to prepare that when you hit the wall in the game and everything hurts and you’re tired and you don’t think you can get to the ball fast enough, or make the run fast enough, this knowledge of all the superior fitness work helps you push past it like you can outperform yourself but really you’re just breaking the mental barrier between you and what your body is really capable of. Never actually happens. Yet, here I am.
“You will when you’re back on the pitch.”
“That better be soon,” he warned.
“I’m old enough to remember when you just needed your girl to blow some smoke up your ass and then you played really well. What happened to that?” Marco questioned sarcastically.
“It got old. Like you.” André’s answer was like a throwaway. It wasn’t meant to be serious, and no one in the room took it as such. He knew it was far from the truth. What happened is I don’t let her talk to me about football anymore, and I don’t tell her anything about it, so she can’t build her case and tell me how great I am all the time and all the reasons she knows I’m going to do well. But she doesn’t even really try anymore, he reminded himself. She used to pester me to talk football with her so that she’d understand the whole picture and have her evidence to use to convince me that something isn’t my fault, or that I’m about to have a great game, or that the manager needs to make some change and then I’ll be influential again and the team will be better off. We don’t have those conversations now. Chicken and egg, or cart and horse? I’m not sure.
“Fuck. Done. Finally.” Marco dropped the free weight and shut his eyes in a look of mixed agony and relief. Then his trainer told him he wasn’t actually done yet. He had one more set to do. There was a lot of groaning.
“I’m done,” his teammate declared.
“What? Where are you going?”
“Home to get smoke blown up my ass.”
“More like snot!” he called after him.
I’m going to go get Chris one of those non-dairy milkshakes from the place by the grocery store, and then I’m going to ask her to tell me what’s wrong with the team. She used to love giving me her diagnosis. And it always led to me being the solution. I could use some of that. Mausi likes milkshakes too. Has he had the non-dairy kind... André tried to remember if Lukas had ever been to the ice cream shop for unlucky eaters- people avoiding lactose, gluten, animal products, etc.- and analyzed whether or not a mystery-ingredient milkshake would be okay for him or not. Christina was always wary of giving their son new things. On the basis that he was getting the dairy-free milkshake for her precisely because he thought it would be easier on her stomach, he decided that it would be okay for Lukas too. After a shower and a quick call home to make sure his girl was still feeling okay and that his nice gesture wouldn’t go to waste due to a relapse, he obtained a plain strawberry treat for her and a vanilla one with some chocolate candy pieces in it, in the child-size, for Lukas. One was on the couch when he got home, and the other was crashing a fire truck into a Play Mobil army fort. In his world, an old timey American frontier installation was a normal place to find a contemporary fire truck. Christina was too distracted by her flu symptoms to be upset about him being so rough with her toys. The Play Mobil stuff was hers, and Aidan’s. She was in charge of the horses for the fort, and her brother was in charge of everything else, like the weapons depot and canteen.
“Daddy!” The attack on the fort was put on hold so that the fire chief could get a hug. His dad loved that he was greeted with that level of excitement nearly every day.
“Hiya, Mausi. How’s Mommy? Have you been looking after her?” André bent down to administer a one-arm hug. He kept the milkshakes concealed behind his back.
“Mommy can’t stop sneezing and has a headache,” Christina complained in a sniffly, hoarse voice that was definitely worse than when he left. He moved behind the couch to lean over the back and first kiss and then temperature-check her forehead.
“I brought you a non-dairy milkshake for your throat. Do you want it?”
“Maybe. What kind?” Her face brightened considerably and it made him smile to himself, because he could tell she was putting on a little show for him before that, to get extra sympathy.
“Strawberry. Also a little tiny vanilla one.” He nodded toward Lukas and turned 45* to show off the goods. His still very pale and sickly looking wife nodded her approval, and the child’s face lit up even more than hers when he was presented with the surprise treat. She was more tentative about hers. “How do you feel besides the sneezing and the headache?”
“Like I should stay on the couch for the rest of the day.”
“Want some company?”
“Desperately. But I also want my nose Chap Stick, which I left on the kitchen counter, and I need to take my drugs soon. They’re still upstairs.”
“I’m going to change, so I’ll bring you some drugs. Why are you using that one?” André pointed at the fleece blanket she was burrito’d in and trying to use to hold her cold drink too. “Where are all the good blankys?”
“I don’t want to get the flu on the cashmere ones. They’re dry-clean only. How was training?”
“I’m going to tell you all about it. Be right back.”
“Can’t wait.” The tired rider winked at the player, who started toward the stairs. “Chap Stick!” she shouted after him, her voice cracking in the middle of the words because her vocal chords weren’t ready to support that kind of volume yet. That was why she cancelled Stefanie and Kyle’s lessons too. They were supposed to come back from the horse to ride some of her horses that were supposed to be there with them. She clutched at her throat and carefully asked for a spoon in addition to the Chap Stick for her nose. The cold drink was going to be a welcome treatment for the pain that accompanied her voice issues. André brought her the Chap Stick and the spoon, and took away the straw and lid from her milkshake. Lukas was doing just fine on the floor with the straw method. Spencer was using the direct licking method to clean up the condensation on the outside of his little cup, and no doubt hoping he could do the same to the little boy’s face at some point since he almost always managed to get whatever he ate or drank on himself.
“Is it good, Munchkin?” his mom asked. He nodded with the straw in his mouth, and sat up on his knees a little to put one of his Play Mobil generals on the decorative cabinet under the TV. Christina was watching Shakespeare In Love on a movie channel before André got home, and texting with Juan about his day. He was working on his charity project with Antonio, and soliciting input from her on a photography exhibit designed to promote the initiative. Her inclusion in the process absolutely thrilled her, and she legitimately worried that she’d give bad advice or silly ideas because of all the cold and flu meds she was taking. The Spaniard really did inadvertently slight her when he launched the whole thing without so much as a mention. He was involved and consulted on pretty much every major decision or important aspect of her life, and she felt some kind of entitlement to equal status. Shooting ideas back and forth with him helped her stay awake on the couch and avoid leaving Lukas unsupervised.
“When do I get to meet the charity guy? You keep talking about him like I know him,” Christina wrote, one-handed, while she fumbled around with her spoon, cup, phone, and excess blanket. We should have dinner with him so I can get jealous when Juanin looks at him like he’s a genius or whatever, the literally sick and tired rider mused. Her friend always spoke so glowingly about the man he linked up with for his project, who was the conduit through which he could help thousands of charities around the world.
“Can I be in the blanket with you or do I have to get my own?” the nearer of her footballers inquired on his way past into the kitchen to get some water and put down her pills and cough syrup. “How’s the milkshake?”
“It doesn’t taste that great but it’s nice for my throat. To be fair, nothing tastes like anything when I’m sick. And yes, you can be in my blanky.” She moved over all the way into the corner of the couch to make some space for André on the chaise with her. Normally he had that side and barely left any room for her down the chaise, or none at all and she had to use the ottoman for her legs. The corner was too warm to give up to him, and she didn’t want to have to turn on her left side to use him as a pillow because her nose was already more stuffy on that side. “Can you hold this for me?”
“Yeah.” André accepted the plastic cup while he got settled and she got comfortable too. Christina reordered her throw pillows to allow her to put her cheek on his shoulder and her folded up legs on his hip, and then didn’t take her shake back. He didn’t know that holding her drink for her was going to enable her unannounced nap, nor that she’d fall asleep before giving him any feedback on his football update. That was the whole point. He wanted her to talk to him about football after he finished telling her about his Saturday workout and training session. She was unconscious within minutes of welcoming him into her blanket, and not because she wasn’t interested. Being sick and trying to do normal rider things and regular mom things just took a lot out of her, and so did all the medications. He couldn’t be upset, though he was pretty disappointed.
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