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slashmagpie · 5 months

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“Pearl? Why are you in my house?”

Pearl blinks up at Bdubs from where she’s sandwiched between the wall and the waterstream, curled up on herself in the narrow space. “Somebody destroyed all the lights in my base and now it’s full of mobs,” she says bitterly.

“It wasn’t me!” Bdubs cries, raising his hands.

“Well, I didn’t think it was you, but the way you just said that’s making me think—”

“No! I’d never! I swear!”

“...I believe you,” she says after a moment, and Bdubs feels himself relax. “Can I stay with you tonight? I don’t really feel like…” She gestures in the direction of her house.

Bdubs nods. “Oh, sure, for sure,” he says. Then, “Should we invite Joel over? His house got blown up too.”

“Ah, yeah, probably. Good idea, Bdubs.” She fumbles in her pocket for her communicator, eventually fishing it out. The screen is cracked. Her fingers shake as they tap against the glass.

“Are you okay there, Pearl? You look a little…” Bdubs forces his hands to tremble.

She glances up at him, face scrunching in confusion, before she lets out a small laugh. “Just the adrenaline, y’know.” She grins. “I’m red. It’s great.”

“If it was anyone else, I’d think they were being sarcastic. But with you! With you, I’m pretty sure you’re being serious!”

She giggles, hitting send on the message and shoving her communicator away. Bdubs doesn’t feel his own buzz; it must have been a whisper. “You know,” she says after a moment, “I’m a little surprised.”

Bdubs blinks. “Surprised about what?”

“That there’s still three of us.”

He laughs. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised, too! I thought for sure Joel would die today. For sure.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“Oh, no, never. But between you and me… that guy’s kind of a loose canon!”

She snorts. “Throwing stones from glass houses, there, Bdubs?”

“Surely I don’t know what you mean.”

“Mhm.” She pauses, eyes glancing down to where her fingers pick at a stray thread on her hoodie sleeve. “That’s kinda what I mean, though. Joel doesn’t live here, and you’re making friends with half the server, I’m surprised I’m not spending tonight alone.”

“Pearl…”

“What?” She snorts. “I know how these games go, Bdubs. People don’t stay loyal. Not for long, anyway.” She glances up at him, eyes half obscured by her hair. “People like Joel, people like you? I know how this ends.”

And Bdubs—

Well, he can’t pretend he doesn’t know what she means. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Impulse yelling as Bdubs’ arrow had found home in his throat. Can’t pretend he doesn’t remember Etho backing away when Bdubs had tried to get just a little too close. Can’t pretend he didn’t fight when he promised he’d run. Can’t pretend he hadn’t taken advantage of his broken home.

…He can’t pretend he doesn’t remember telling Martyn about their plans, or planning to do harm to Etho. Can’t pretend he doesn’t cross his fingers behind his back every time he makes a promise, just in case.

But at the same time, he remembers—searching for Cleo in a castle she’d been too dead to return to, pushing Lizzie to her death for a life he’d never received, taking two hands in his own and vowing to face the end as four instead of two, for once, for once in his life, choosing three and being pulled apart because of it—

Bdubs lets out a breath. “Pearl, hey, no,” he says. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m your weapon.” He gets down to his knees, lowers his head before her, feels her gaze burn into the top of his head.

“Bit late for that,” she says. “I’m my own weapon now, mate. Don’t need you to attack for me anymore.”

“Well, no—but—” He looks up at her. “Pearl. I’m yours. I promise.”

“Right. And you’re Martyn and Etho’s too, huh? We can share.”

“I’m using Martyn!” he protests. “That’s—that’s all it is—I’m usin’ him because he’s the first red and he knows his stuff! And Etho—”

“I don’t mind about Etho,” Pearl interrupts. “Like I said, I know you guys have your little thing going on. I don’t care about that.”

“I set a trap in his base,” Bdubs blurts.

Pearl blinks at him. “Excuse me?”

“I set a trap in his base. Tripwire hook.” He grins. “Right outside the bedroom. I—I think I got Grian, in the end? But—could have been Etho. I coulda—could’ve been Etho.” He swallows.

“And you’d have been okay with that?” Pearl asks, smile gone from her face, expression suddenly very serious.

“I—after I set it, I went up to them. Had a chat. Lied the whole time. I coulda—coulda told him. I didn’t.”

“And you’re okay with that?” she stresses.

She sounds dubious. Bdubs can’t blame her. He feels sick, swallowing back the bile that’s building in his throat.

“I—Pearl.”

“Bdubs?”

“I learned my lesson, Pearl. I learned—don’t put all your eggs in one basket! Because—because either they die, and then you get left alone, or—or it gets you killed, and you die. You gotta—I have two hands. I can be loyal to multiple people. But then I learned—when you do that? People aren’t loyal back. They don’t trust you anymore. Nobody else…” He laughs. “I feel like I’m the only one who can trust people like that anymore!”

“So…” She frowns. “So you’re making friends with everyone so you don’t get betrayed or left alone?”

“Exactly.”

“And you know none of us are gonna trust you for doing that.”

He swallows again. “Yeah, I know.”

“And you’re doing it anyway?”

“Well, what else—what else am I supposed to do? I can’t… I can’t go back, Pearl. That’s… I can’t go back. You know how it is.”

“…Yeah,” she says quietly. “I’m—I want you to win, Bdubs,” she says. “Out of everyone—I want it to be you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. So… You better not make me regret this.”

He blinks at her. “Regret what?”

She bows her head to him. “I’m your weapon,” she says, an echo of his earlier words. “And a bit more of a dangerous one at that.” Her smirk leaks back into her words as she glances up and winks at him. “So use me well, alright, Bdubs? I want you to win this.”

Bdubs’ heart is in his throat. He swallows it back down. It burns.

“I’ll do my best,” he promises.

The door slams open, startling them both out of their skin.

“Hey guys—uh. What are you doing?”

“Oh, for—Judas Priest, Joel, learn to knock!”

“You invited me over! Or, Pearl did—hey Pearl.”

“Hey,” Pearl says. “Come on in! Sleepover at Bdubs’ time.”

“I can’t believe this is the last of our bases left standing. It’s, like, the worst one.”

“Hey!”

“There’s no space in here!” To punctuate his statement, Joel slumps down against one wall, kicking Bdubs in the ribs as he does so. Bdubs grunts. “See?”

“It’s definitely not the most spacious…” Pearl acquiesces.

“Anyway. What were you guys doing before I came in?”

“Swearing loyalty,” Bdubs says.

“Oh.” Joel blinks. “Do you need me to do that? Because I’m a Mounder for life. Loyal to the end.”

Bdubs and Pearl glance at each other.

“Somehow I actually believe him,” Bdubs stage-whispers, and Joel squawks in offence as Pearl barks out a laugh.

“No, I think you’re good,” she says. Leaning her head back against the wall, she says, “This is probably our final night.”

The three of them are quiet for a moment.

“Well,” says Joel. “We gotta make it to the end then, don’t we?”

He’s looking at Bdubs. They’re both looking at Bdubs.

Bdubs nods.

“May the best Mounder win,” he says solemnly.

Joel grins.

#secret life #spoilers #fanfiction #i am late on the post-session ficlet this week since i wasn't able to watch until today but here it is!#this isn't quite what i wanted it to be i was struggling a Lot with this one #idk. i really liked pearl and bdubs' little arc this session.#and there's definitely like 5 other angles i could have come at this from but this is the one that ended up on the page and i'm too #brainfogged to figure out anything else so here #anyway. do you guys ever think about how dog-coded the mounders are.#two feral former lone wolves and a sad-eyed shelter dog. or something.#magpie feather quill

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h20milk · 1 year

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an uncontrollable urge, i want you only to myself. you, my love, you belong to me.

#blush blush #blush blush game #cole #blush blush cole #sad panda studios #my art #have i played this game? no. do i like any of the characters? yea.....#IN MY DEFENSE i just don't want to grind im sorry. but i have read quite literally everything and have seen playthrus! <3 #cole is... really great. love him actually #he is so comically evil #my fail guy <3 #2023

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canisalbus · 5 months

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AU where there is some sort of zombie-like (maybe something like a rabid vampirism?)

Where one of the boys is bit/infected and desperately wants the other to join them, while also wanting to resist?

#oh that sounds so sad #I feel like in tragic scenarios like this Machete is always destined to be the weaker link #simply because the thought of Vasco unraveling and losing his mind legimately upsets me #like if Machete has rough time that's typical and he's used to it #but if they lose Vasco then they're both doomed #you know #I've always been really sensitive to zombie stories that deal with the concept of your loved one getting infected #and not quite knowing when they've gone too far and if there's still some of their former self left or not #they never end well but the idea of a person delusionally clinging to the hope of them both making it just #a trope that cuts deep instantly #anonymous #answered #now that I'm thinking about it this probably affects me so much because I have a massive fear of dementia #it runs in my family and I've seen what it can do to a person's psyche and personality and it scares me to death

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thatwasntverycashmoneyofme · 10 months

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𝗉𝗈𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗁

❥𝗌𝗇𝗂𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗍 : 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗍𝖺 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽’𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗇 𝗁𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗆𝖻𝖾𝗋𝗌 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝖻𝗂𝗋𝗍𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗁𝖾𝗋.

{ 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 — 𝖻𝗅𝖺𝖼𝗄 𝖼𝗈𝖽𝖾𝖽 𝖿𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖺𝖻𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝖺𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖺𝗀𝖾, 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋, 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝖺𝖻𝗒. }

he’s not really surprised that she said it, cuz you say it all the time, calling him a "dumbass/hoe ass nigga" or telling him "nigga shut the fuck up." and aizawa teaching black students (mina and deku) and having a few black coworkers (mirko, rock lock and orca) he hears it all the time himself.

but he’s downright flabbergasted when and how she says it right to his face at that; after you told her to go get her father to come here and yk how kids be, adding extra words nobody told them to say. so your kid stands in front of him with a mischievous smile on her face and glint in her dark brown eyes as she says "mommy said to tell you ‘nigga bring your light bright ass down to the kitchen fo’ you don’t get no damn dinner’ so are you coming daddy?”

and he pauses for a moment having your black mother mannerisms come out of him. “d/n? whatchu just say to me?” she pales a bit “no daddy! that’s what mommy said.” he calls for you yelling your name. "aye y/n cmere!" you shout a "what!" from your place in the kitchen and he repeats himself. the sound of your slippers hitting the tile as you approach your shared bedroom, the anger in your steps ever so evident, belly protruding cause of your second child as you grumble loudly all the way to the door.

"nigga what? i told d/n to come get’chu for a reason na' my damn feet hurt ‘n all I wanted t’ do was cook." you look at him with an attitude hand resting on your wide hip as you leaned on the doorway. "whatchu want shota?" you take in the situation, your husband sitting on the bed a displeased expression on his face and your baby girl got tears welling up in her big brown eyes as she fiddle with her fingers.

"why my baby bout t’ cry?" you walk further into the room standing beside your daughter and in front of aizawa with your arms folded, he rubs on your belly looking up at your frustrated eyes. "’m sorry mama." he kissed your belly. "making you walk all the way back here but what did you tell her to tell me?" you suck your teeth when he kisses your belly again 'ain’t this just what i said earlier??'

sighing out your frustration you continued. "i told her to tell you ‘bring your light bright ass down fore you don’t eat dinner.’ got me walking all up ‘n down this damn house when you know how fat yo’ damn babies are." he rubs you again "’m sorry.. again it’s just your daughter cursing me out." you snicker before he looks at you with dead eyes.

"oh you was forreal? what did she say?" shota and you both look at your five year old her tears still threatening to fall. "tell your mama what you said." she whimpers while repeating what she told her father earlier, it’s a moment or two of silence before you burst out laughing. "fuck i gotta pee ima pee on myself."

you waddled to the bathroom giggling as shota rolled his eyes this is not the right outcome you came out the bathroom wiping the excess water on the cami as tears filled your ducts "’m sorry baby it’s just that shit was too funny." you sat on the bed next to him as you picked up d/n placing her on shota’s lap. "you’re supposed to tell her that she shouldn’t be saying those words at her young age."

you pat his face leaning forward to kiss your daughter on both her chubby cheeks fixing around her bonnet. "those aren’t even the extra bad ones.." you caress her cheek with your thumb. "you know not to say those words to your teachers and the grownups outside the house right? unless they need to hear it.." shota nudges your shoulder and you exclaimed playfully. "what sho i don’t think it’s that serious i think it’s quite hilarious in fact."

he shakes his head from side to side kissing the top of your daughters’ cap "just don’t get used to saying words like that ya’ hear me d/n." she nods her head and y’all stay there for a minute or two loving up on her before you you spoke interrupting the silence. "so baby girl.. say another curse word." "y/n!" you cackle at shota’s face getting ready to get up.

"i’m just kidding.. alright let’s go i wasn’t slavin’ over that hot ass stove for nothin." your daughter jumped off shota’s lap running towards the kitchen. aizawa gets up grabbing you by your hand, pulling you towards him minding your belly, your arms wrap around his shoulders stroking the hairs on the back of his neck as he slaps your ass then grabs it. "she gets it from you ya’ know. you need to stop cursing."

you hum pulling him down kissing him tenderly before pulling away, dragging your hands from his shoulders to pat his chest as you look deeply into his eyes. "i ain’t gotta do a fuck thing.. pretty ass nigga." you peck his lips before waddling away.

you turn your head, sticking your tongue and middle finger out at him before crossing the doorway, your husband shook his head know something like that was coming his way as soon as he said those words. 'these girls are finna be the death of me i hope this next girl isn’t so troublesome.'

𝗌𝗉𝖺𝗆 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌. 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖺𝗅, 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝗒 𝗈𝗋 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖾𝗅𝗌𝖾. ©𝖼𝗂𝗍𝗒𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖺𝗅

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skunkes · 4 months

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i have soooo much more i cld say abt him, and have explored more thru other doodles, but quick summary of talon's whole deal, which is subject to change still as he's only almost 2 yrs old as an oc

#oc text #obvs sparse description of the events bc i dont mean for it to be gratuitous #even if i decided to explore it further in some medium the focus wouldnt be gratuitous ykwim #not that there werent awful stuff within that but my focus with talon is also more exploration of like #even stuff that isnt a big deal (which it wasnt at first) can effect someone greatly #and then once it does get a bit worse the focus is still more on the effects of how he views himself and the aftermath #AS WELL AS LIKE. well. did i do this to myself? i went back. do i deserve this?#he's a lot like me and the reason i like the self insert dynamic is bc he thinks of cheye as Me If It Didnt All Go Horribly #bc ive not gone thru the Extreme but i have had interactions with ppl who very enthusiastically thought i was ummmm underage!!!#while they were already being creepy toward me and making me nervous abt my safety !#so this isnt ''he's umm 400 but looks 12 bc i want to do weird shit with him 😏'' dude drawing him Fed makes me so sad sometimes...#we're also weird eating buddies <3 #and grief buddies <3 he actually further spawned out of my need to deal with a lot of family members passing away in such a short time #severe death phobia buddies...#i still dont know how he really feels about his Old Wrinkly Form btw all i know is he feels safe in it #as much as id love to sway toward ''he thinks he's hot like that. because he is.'' i also dont want to convey the wrong message wrt this #form being due to....disordered eating caused by Issues. ykwim #though! he can shapeshift quite well when he's fed and maybe he'd choose that form willingly if he ever got. Past everything #he does hate that he never gets to actually age...! he wishes he cld age normally like a mortal...(still scared of dying though)#but we cant knoww for certain yet ykwim. maybe he'll let me know soon.#my issue with talon other than i suck at plots is well he has too many of my issues. and. idk how to solve them.#he's growing with me.#oh and have we noticed he's mean to me when *im* being mean to me...MANY such metaphors #ok goodnite

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cerise-on-top · 3 months

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I just saw your Graves with a tall reader, which I loved, so funny at times. So you know I gotta do it, can I request Graves with a short reader? Gotta boost that man's ego 💜

Glad to hear the Graves simps are enjoying my writing and want him to be doing well mentally! And I agree, sometimes you just need to make Graves happy since he, too, will notice your efforts and try to make you happy as well, even if he does it the Graves way!

Graves with a Shorter!Reader

Graves will have hit the jackpot with someone shorter than him in all honesty. As mentioned already, it’s in his blood to be bigger and stronger and scarier than his partner, which means he gets to protect them at all times. I can see him actually going for shorter people as well. While, if asked about it, he would always tell you that it’s because you have an easier time seeing just how reliable he is, in reality he just wants to feed his ego. He used to be taller than everyone else until he stopped growing, he really just wants to feel good about himself in all honesty. Every time he looks at you, he becomes aware of the height difference and sometimes the sly bastard even starts smiling about it. The bigger the height difference the better.

If he can literally tower over you, maybe trap you between him and the wall while he looks down at you, then all is good in his life. The shorter you are the better the angle at which you view him. He can toss his hair back and it will look as though he was in some series or movie with an attractive lead, in his eyes. Besides, he also gets to tilt your face so you’ll look at him when he’s talking. In all honesty, he genuinely believes he can fluster you more easily when he’s the taller one, and he genuinely just wants you to be speechless at least once in a while. Will sweet talk you while putting his fingers under your chin.

He’s also more prone to letting you be the big spoon, or lets you hold him more often in general. You being his backpack is funny to him, as mentioned before, so he will take his sweet time enjoying the feel of you being tiny. Again, if it was up to him, you’d be roughly 1,50, or something around that. That way there would, at the very least, still be 15cm between the two of you. Graves is a very touchy person in general, so don’t be surprised if he walks up to you and puts his head on top of yours, maybe even trying to put some weight of his on you as well so you can feel just how powerful he is. You’re more than welcome to try and shake him off, though. He will feign hurt, but it amuses him anyway.

Remember how I said Graves would be even more butthurt if you crack a few too many jokes about his height when you’re taller? He’d have his fun with someone who is sensitive about their height. You will constantly hear him refer to you as his little something, whether that be little sweetie, little honeypie or even his little pile of sugar. As long as he gets to emphasize you being the shorter one he’ll be happy. If you’re dysphoric about your height, then he’ll stop, but if you’re only mad because of a relatively harmless reason, you’ll never hear the end of it. Might even crack a joke such as pointing at a skittle on the ground and saying it’s almost as small as you are. The bigger your reaction, the better. Force him to sleep on the couch and he might stop for a day or two, but you can never get him to permanently stop.

Loves picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. You can struggle all you want, this man can carry his own Shadows over his shoulder while they’re struggling, so you don’t really stand a chance against him. He gets all the more smug if you do struggle since he knows you won’t be able to escape him. It’s things like that where he wants to show you that he can easily overpower you, but he can easily protect you as well. Just be his lovely little partner, don’t grow too much and you have a loyal guy at your service until the end of eternity. Also, he will hold you over his head and comment on your cuteness. Graves doesn’t get cuteness aggression, but he could pretend he does and squish your cheeks whenever he feels like it.

Will pick you up and sit you down on his lap as well. Yes, he will wrap his arms around you as well and render any attempt at escaping futile. Besides, getting to hold you does reassure him quite a lot. His world is in his arms, safe and sound, and he gets to pretend he’s still a cool man. He genuinely believes you think him to be a badass, even with all the teasing and whatnot. Graves has a somewhat high opinion of himself on a good day, but you can still reassure him that he is pretty epic. You can comment on how strong he is and he’ll likely flex for you, offering you to touch his bicep. But at the end of the day, barely any of this matters, what’s important is that you wanna stay with him and feel like there’s a future ahead for you. Give him a kiss and tell him you admire him and he’ll be over the moon, regardless of whether you’re shorter or taller than him.

#cod #cod x reader #phillip graves #phillip graves x reader #I used to hate Graves before I got into CoD properly and knew who he really was but he grew on me #but that is largely because I saw so many HCs about him being the best boss one could ever have #I don't know where to fit my OC into the CoD lore in the slightest but sometimes I did have them work for Graves as a Shadow #I liked thinking about that whenever I was sad since those were usually fun things to imagine #silly Shadows with a wannabe badass boss who is actually so nice #I also always loved seeing other people's Shadow OCs since they were always so interesting #Shadow Company and stinky Graves grew on me over time #he was quite the dick in the campaign but watching the missions where you play as a Shadow were always my favorites #besides I do think I would thrive in an environment where someone would praise me the way Graves praises his workers #I've been getting more Graves requests as of late I've noticed! Lovely keep them coming! I do love and hate him!

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rexscanonwife · 5 months

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Y'all know your girl loves her AUs, and my partner pointed out that this is just a fursona with extra steps but idc here's the animatronic version of my s/i!! I wanted to draw her in the style of the official Security Breach art cause it's cute, I'll probably draw the real animatronic later lol but meet Missy Mouse! 🧀🐀

Her attraction amounts to essentially a karaoke room where kids are encouraged to play and sing as loud as their little lungs can (soundproofed ofc) and she sings along with them! She's modeled after the 60s and sings a lot of songs from the 70s as well but tends to favor 80s hits like Call Me and Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! 💖💖

#artfarts #self insert #self ship #fnaf self insert #fnaf oc #animatronic oc #i mean its basically an oc at this point!!#five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #but yeah!! this is based on an au where willy boy manages to kill my s/i 😔😔 so sad #i was discussing it with my buddy and idk its kinda cool to think abt her in the SB era!!#especially since ive seen both theories that glamrock freddy has michaels soul AND aus where he never burnt up and is a guard #i think both have potential for both cuteness AND big angst >:3 #like for the purpose of glamfred being michael if the two were always really close and sang a lot of duets together #freddy has a crush on her but doesnt know why cause he doesnt quite remember their relationship in life #and also guard michael only being able to see her in animatronic form 🥺🥺#either way shes usually very kind to kids and is something of a nanny as well #not like sun/moon theyre like for toddlers and shes for slightly older kids #anyway ill defs draw more of her soon!!#i just HAD to get this out there lol #crush: 🔦🧟‍♂️#forgor his crush tag lol

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cicadidae-tm9899 · 1 year

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been playing clangen almost constantly, so i made solid designs for some of my favorite cats from NectarClan

the base is by reevees on DeviantArt, and the pixelated designs are from the clangen game

#clangen #clan gen #9899 ocs #warrior cats oc #mushroompaw is my favorite <3 #i do also really like zira #i can't quite remember but zira may or may not be mushroom's mom #i'll check later lol #this game is so fun though!#i'm addicted #but it's so stressful bc all my clans get so big and I can barely keep track of everyone #and i know there are mass extinction events but i never get one of them #and i've also never gotten a moon event??#and any cats that get lost haven't returned #and it's very sad

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birdricks · 4 months

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ok heres this. how i interpreted his fears at least

#rnm spoilers #most of them r said pretty plainly but whatever LOL i love lists #interesting how u can see mortys Main fear of relying on rick right from the start #not sure abt the ‘rick putting them in danger one’#its in tbat little loop of Rick Fears #which im not quite sure what to make of. so thats the closest i can get #its definitely smth hes doen a lot. so theres that #SCARY IMPLICATIONS of morty having overcome his reliance on rick. or at least his fear of it #like in conquering the hole alone hes realised he doesnt really Need rick.#like maybe one day therell be a time he gets in trouble and rick Wont bail him out. or cant. but hes ok w that now?#hmmmm. intersting. very curious to see where that goes #themost painful one for me is being responsible for ricks sadness #liek thsts so fucking rough.#GETTING PERSONAL…. like i know how it feels to be a kid and feel responsible for the emotions of adults. it sucks balls #itd be interesting to see if All of these fesrs have been conquered or just the reliance one

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moonshynecybin · 3 days

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#i was. a teeny bit worried he was thinkin about retirement if i am being. quite honest.#so its nice to hear him come out the gate like i wanna be here for a long time !#motogp #callie speaks #marc marquez #he really was so sad at honda :( like i knew but.

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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 2 months

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Also I quit my job of what would in about a month or two have been 10 years, and perhaps now I will get to actually be a human being again.

#honestly? honestly?#last week i told the two (2) godawful egomaniac lab head Man In Academia bosses i quit and that we need to formalise it asap and i just #felt like a little feather about to float away on a breeze #maybe now i can do normal people things like eat and sleep and have a routine of some sort idk #i have been slowly losing it for at least 3-4 years now #i took a screenshot and last year i had no fewer than 14 fucking travel orders fulfilled #most of which consisted of like 12+ hour days on ships and docks #i'm just so tired man #not for reblogging obviously #i don't really wanna vent anymore or ponder them and the entire godforsaken institution but like #good riddance tbh #which is really really sad when you think about it! but here we are #it was just... no trace of future anywhere to be seen! entirely a Void!!#gonna post a beefy lesbian paladin real quick to push this post down lmao #but i felt like sharing because i know there's good and concerned people who follow me here and i both appreciate and miss you all #and lord knows some of you have been listening to me vent and whine for ages #am i going to miss some great people and the research community of my field? of course but also it was all just completely unsustainable

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dawnthefluffyduck · 2 months

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Free time has (sort of) arrived

(cat is katsrkole on instagram)

#still trying to figure out snouts #shockingly enough I never really drew anthro characters before i found ralsei #see i've actually done quite a lot of larger drawings in my figure drawing class #around 10-12 #but they're all drawings of real people and half of them are unclothed #and i have no interest in posting either of those things here #but just like last semester #the things i'm learning in that class are popping up in my personal drawings #so in a way i'm still kinda sharing a bit of what i've learned this semester? sort of??#i'm gonna be so damn sad when i don't have this professor anymore #he takes the stress out of model drawing so that we can focus on actually improving instead of just fighting for our grades #and it's working so well for pretty much everyone in the class #i will still likely not be doing any actual drawings any time soon #but if i went any longer without drawing for myself?#i think i was gonna combust #this was actually cathartic i am in a much better mood now #cats #kris #susie #ralsei #deltarune #doodles #okay tag wall finished now i will scroll because i have missed quite a lot lately

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wikitpowers · 1 month

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if i'm certain of one thing, it's that kit listens to 'un-break my heart' by toni braxton and sings it at the top of his lungs through sobs

#this post is quite a meme but also makes me sad thinking about kit crying :(((#but im doing this to myself so really got no one to blame here #anyway he does this at karaoke night is all like “im fine guys really” *visible tears in his eyes*#kit herondale #the dark artifices #the wicked powers #tda #twp #tsc

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silverwhittlingknife · 1 year

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Has Tim ever put Dick on a pedestal?

100% yes! This is basically Tim's backstory IMO. Prior to meeting Dick in Lonely Place of Dying, Tim's a kid who's got a distant, idealized, made-for-TV vision of Dick and Bruce - mostly Dick - and he sets out on a quest based entirely around that misperception.

Aaaand then he immediately crashes headfirst into reality, because the Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne he remembers from his childhood memories and daydreams are like this:

But it turns out that the actual real-life human people are a bit more, uh, cranky than Tim's glossy vision - things are tense and neither of them are super-happy to meet Tim:

And Tim has to rethink a bunch of his mistaken deductions as it slowly dawns on him that - far from being a plucky team - Dick and Bruce are actually not getting along at all:

And so Tim has to realize his whole plan of "Dick has to be Robin again!!! That will fix everything!!! :)))))" was actually wrong, and based on a misunderstanding of Bruce and Dick's relationship. And having realized he was wrong, he immediately sets about trying to figure out what he’s failed to understand in the most intrusive way possible—by asking lots of nosy questions!

Actually-meeting-Dick is basically the end of Tim’s super-idealized vision of Dick. It's not a vision that can survive contact with an actual human being who's snapping at you. And kid!Tim is (I love him but) extremely pushy and annoying, and Dick's a prickly young adult who is not above getting annoyed, which means Dick snaps at him pretty regularly.

But Tim does continue to admire him.

So for their various interactions after Lonely Place of Dying, IMO "does Tim have Dick on a pedestal" is kind of a judgment call based on your assessment of Dick's relative strengths/virtues. What's unambiguous: Tim has a consistently higher opinion of Dick than Dick does of Dick, and they argue about it a lot.

I had way too many thoughts about this, so below the cut:

Comics where Dick and Tim have conversations along the lines of Dick: "I suck and I'm failing at everything." Tim: "That's not true!! Actually you're great and you're succeeding at the thing you think you're failing at!!"

So who's right - Dick or Tim?

Dick and Tim's high opinions/expectations of each other: the plusses and minuses

Comic examples

Here are a couple different variations on Tim thinking that Dick is great (often when Dick's less sure):

in Showcase, Tim thinks that Dick’s a way better teammate than Azrael, even as Dick’s thinking himself as a failure who let the Titans down;

in Prodigal, Dick tells Tim a story about confronting Two-Face which to Dick symbolizes a moment of great failure and which Tim insists was a no-win situation where Dick did the best he could;

also in Prodigal, Dick’s despairing over how badly he thinks their encounter with Killer Croc went and meanwhile Tim thinks it went fine (after all, Dick listened to him and called an ambulance instead of beating up Croc!), and Tim tells Dick to lighten up and Dick talks about how he’s a failure;

in Nightwing 6, Dick thinks he’s doing badly in Blüdhaven and he’s self-conscious about it and paranoid about what Tim might tell Bruce, and Tim insists that the fact that Dick’s being targeted means he’s succeeding and getting close instead of failing, and Dick retorts that this won’t be comforting if he winds up dead because getting close just isn’t good enough;

also in Nightwing 6, Tim thinks Dick was a better Robin than Tim is, and Dick thinks he wasn’t that great and that Tim’s better;

post-Last Laugh, Tim’s insistent that Dick's being too hard on himself about attacking the Joker whereas Dick's really haunted by the experience and confides that it feels like he's discovered a terrible dark side of himself;

way later in Nightwing 110, Tim’s seeking Dick out and Dick’s trying to avoid him because he thinks he’s a bad person who’d be bad for Tim;

in BW: Murderer, Tim doesn’t trust Bruce absolutely, but in Red Robin, he does trust Dick absolutely (or at least, more than Tim trusts himself);

etc. etc. etc.

Who's right: Dick or Tim?

So, is Tim being too easy on Dick and looking at him with rose-colored glasses, and Dick’s harsher view of himself is the correct one; or is Dick a perfectionist who’s being too hard on himself, and Tim’s the one who’s actually seeing Dick’s strengths more clearly?

I don’t think the comics really commit one way or another! These are moments of multiple-perspectives, where we notice that Tim has one attitude and Dick has another attitude and that tells us things about the characters, not moments that are meant to resolve to a simplistic “one person is Right and one person is Wrong.” I think often you could argue that they're both right? So, like, if you wanted to take the approach of, "Tim's idolizing him but he's not actually as great as Tim thinks," I don't think the comics precisely contradict that interpretation.

... THAT SAID, look, I am a Dick Grayson fan at heart, and I tend to lean toward “Dick’s being too hard on himself.”

Tim’s not oblivious to Dick’s flaws—he immediately figures out, for example, that Dick’s gonna attack the Joker, and rushes off to stop him; he just isn’t as judgmental about this moment as Dick is, and he doesn’t think it makes Dick an awful person forever. The point is (Tim says later, practical-minded) that it was made right, and Dick shouldn’t beat himself up about it. In Prodigal, Tim’s not unaware that their fight with Croc went badly; he’s just focused on how Dick’s morals and teamwork-centric attitude feel right to him in a way that Azrael’s didn’t, and look, Tim didn’t get shot even though he got shot at, and isn’t that the important thing? Tim gets caught in the same ambush that Dick does in Nightwing 6; he just takes the glass-half-full attitude toward it while Dick takes the glass-half-empty attitude. And so on.

Tim admires Dick, looks up to him, trusts him, interprets his flaws generously, and doesn’t think he’s a failure. And... this isn't quite in the comics, but it doesn't contradict them: I like to imagine Dick feeling like he's on a pedestal, and feeling kinda uncomfortable with Tim's admiration when he's forced to realize it exists, and feeling like he doesn't deserve it, and sometimes subconsciously braced for the other shoe to drop, convinced that Tim can't possibly really think this forever, that he's deluded somehow, and that eventually Tim will realize who Dick really is and get disillusioned and leave.

And I tend to think of Dick having this problem a bit with everyone in his life who thinks highly of him, but especially with Tim, because he doesn't feel like Tim's ever needed him or that he's done anything worth Tim's admiration. I feel like Dick - despite some insecurities - does know his own worth as a team leader, and he knows he was a good partner to Bruce, and he understands when he's helping people who are clearly floundering, like Damian and Rose. But all he's ever done for Tim is...hang out, and be nice. And he doesn't think Tim ever needed fixing or saving, and he vastly underestimates both the value of his own friendship in general and how much it's meant to Tim in particular. Not all the time, because later in their relationship when they've known each other for years I do think Dick does feel a bit more secure in that friendship and entitled to make demands based on it (and vice versa, for Tim). But I do imagine Dick periodically feeling like Tim lets him off the hook too easily, and thinks more highly of him than he should, and alternating between being grateful for it and uncomfortable with it.

But I would argue that Dick does deserve Tim’s admiration!

Look, Dick's not a perfect person - no one is. He does screw up sometimes, and sometimes he's petty or jealous, and sometimes his temper gets the better of him. But he is pretty great! He's brave and thoughtful and kind and generous and caring. He takes his own grief and his own suffering and devotes himself to helping other people. And Tim sees that. Tim watches an orphaned kid crying on stage, and has nightmares about it - and later recognizes the hero in him. Tim stops Dick from beating the Joker to death, and he holds Dick back from strangling Hugo Strange, and he talks Dick down from two separate panic attacks, and he listens to Dick monologue about his various perceived failures, and he gets yelled at a lot when Dick's annoyed with him, and his takeaway from all of that is that he believes in Dick, and trusts Dick, and thinks he's a hero.

You could see that as Tim having him on a pedestal and refusing to acknowledge the ugly reality. But I tend to see it as Tim understanding that Dick's flaws and occasional missteps don't define who he is - the fact that Dick's human doesn't make him any less of a hero. Tim can see the hero that Dick can't always see in himself.

Dick and Tim have really high opinions of each other... for better or worse

Tim's not alone in having a high opinion of Dick - Dick thinks Tim's pretty great, too! Dick repeatedly compares himself to Tim and finds himself wanting, whether he's thinking that Tim's a better partner for Bruce, or having a fear toxin nightmare where Tim's a rival who's beating him out of a job, or deciding that Tim would never have let Blockbuster die (and that he'll be better off if Dick avoids him), or musing that Tim would be a better Batman. Dick calls Tim his equal and closest ally in Red Robin; Tim thinks Dick is "the best" in his origin story and basically never changes his mind.

I think nowadays we're sometimes pretty highly-attuned to the way that high expectations can be bad or oppressive, and... I have mixed feelings about this? On the one hand, it isn't untrue! Dick and Tim's mutual high opinions of each other, and correspondingly high expectations, are not an unmixed blessing! They 100% cause problems! Dick and Tim think highly of each other, and expect a lot from each other, and sometimes they're pushy or abrupt or demanding when they could stand to be more sensitive. And the iffy side of high expectations is something I find interesting, and I do think it's solidly canon-based - you see aspects of this in several of their comic conflicts - LPoD, Graduation Day, BftC, RR, etc.

But at the same time, it's complicated! I don't think you can fully untangle the higher expectations from "they rely on each other and have a lot of faith in each other." Love and trust are different things, and Dick and Tim care a whole lot about being trusted, not just about being loved.

I also think it's important that their belief in each other is often a gift rather than an inevitability: Dick and Tim choose to see each other in positive ways. Something they both do is after they have a conflict, they'll apply on a retrospective very positive gloss to whatever just happened. So e.g. Dick starts Resurrection mad at Tim, and ends it by declaring, "I let you make the choice... because I knew you'd make the right one." Tim spends most of Red Robin 1-12 mad at Dick, and ends it by declaring that he knew Dick would catch him because Dick's always there for him. And in both cases, we-the-readers are aware that they knew no such thing! But to me, that doesn't make these declarations meaningless - it makes them more meaningful. Their faith in each other is sometimes genuinely felt, and sometimes it's something they stubbornly brute-force into existence because they want to give that gift to each other.

And I mean... Tim did make the right choice. Dick was there when it really counted. Just because it isn't the whole truth doesn't mean it's not a truth.

Now, does this positivity also put some pressure on them? Absolutely! They're both people who are very upset by failure, so they tend to reassure each other by insisting that there was no failure, could never be failure, failure is impossible, even when they know perfectly well that's not true. They praise each other's skills as a love language, when what they mean is I love you no matter what. They talk about other people's needs but don't always acknowledge each other's. And it'd probably be healthier if they said instead, "Even if you'd made the wrong choice, it'd be okay, because it's okay to make the wrong choice sometimes," or "Even if you're not always there for me, that's okay, because no one can be there for someone else all the time."

And they do not say that, because Dick and Tim are relatively well-adjusted by Batfamily standards but that is a very low bar, and at the end of the day they're still deeply messed-up perfectionists who deal with their emotional problems by punching crime in the face.

But look, they're trying. And isn't that the important thing? <3

#dick 'imposter syndrome' grayson and tim 'dick grayson stan' drake #dick grayson #tim drake #dick & tim #ask tag #i rambled for a really long time anon <3 #it's complicated because i feel like mmmm the ''pedestal'' thing is obv true in some ways #but i think it also sometimes gets used in this kinda flanderized way #where it gets extrapolated into claims like ''older!tim is shocked to learn dick experiences normal human emotions' or w/e #and obv fandom is transformative and a rich tapestry etc but for me personally #part of what i LOVE about tim's introduction is that dick is in the middle of one of his very angsty eras #so tim's burst into his life being all ''hiiiiii!!! you're the best :)))))'' when dick is at peak ''i am gloomy and depressed''#that said tim's high opinion of dick is very canon and very compelling to me <3 #tim does think dick is the greatest thing ever!#but it's more like being a stan of his rather than being a distant stranger who doesn't know him at all #it's not that tim's unaware that dick gets angry/sad/etc or that dick and tim never have fights (they do!)#it's more that unless they're actively in the middle of a fight tim admires/loves dick a lot and is determined to think well of him #so he considers all of dick's strengths What's Important About Him and all of his flaws Basically A Rounding Error If You Think About It #and he doubles-down on this when someone's questioning it (including Dick)#there is definite motivated reasoning at play in Tim's view of Dick but imo it's not quite the same as a pedestal sdfdsfds #i'm not sure there's anything that Dick could do that Tim couldn't find a way to justify in his head how it was okay /#not really Dick / not really his fault / etc. - like if Dick went on a murder spree #Tim would be there making the big This Isn't You! I Know You Won't Kill Me Because I Believe In You! speech #and like. if he was wrong then he'd be dead sdfdsf but the thing is he'd have secret doubts and be wary AND STILL #find himself ultimately making that speech / taking the risk - and ditto for Dick toward Tim #it's not that they never get mad / distrust each other and it's not impossible they'd stay bitter and suspicious for a while #but in the END they both really really WANT to trust each other

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