shit my friends say
So I made a list of all the wild shit my friends say, started in January 2018 and still going. It's one year old I guess? Well, enjoy what I have so far!
2018
-d a d d y w i s e
-well there’s chains on the ground so that must mean this was a kinky sex dungeon
-GORSH MICKEY NOT MY G SPOT
-I can wait until I turn 40 so I can troll Japanese Girls on roblox
-what if we all looked like mike wizowski but our heads were the same size as they are now
-I wanna give pot to a bird
-I take pills without water
-daddies cummie wummies are the best cummie wummies
-enjoy your nonexistent stomach acid
-cum glaze
-I hope you choke on MY meat
-who hasn’t been on pornhub
-(wipes tears away and starts belting despacito)
-MY GAY IS BEING TRIGGERED
-that omelet looks delouse
-is semen a liquid or solid
-iTs nOt aQuaNauTs yOu uNculTurEd fOoK
-vaginas are scary
-what is menstruation
-you should change your name to pussy something
-my gay has been activated
-“have you ever owned a vibrator?” “No” “would you like to rent one”
-“do you like glazed or cream filled”
-wHaT dOeS cUm sOuNd LiKe
-he is on too much fertilizer
-sometimes cum is hot I know from experience
-if you jerked off at the speed of sound would your dick be on fire
-I don’t have a sonic fetish
-can your dick ignite because of the heat of your cock
-aren’t dicks like cannons
-who the fuck draws a glowing peepee on a skeleton
-honey Freddy freaker is dancing in the living room
-does penis smell like garlic
-she don’t swallow in this household
-*downloading garrison nudes*
-don’t you realize that tentacle porn is just using octopus arms as a dildo
-frickle my nipples
-Minecraft porn consists of the male genitalia replaced with a stick
-OOPSIE WOOPSIE!! Uwu We make a fucky wucky!! A wittle fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this!
-“I’m big for an asian”
-cockilicous
-“His anal glands need milking”
-fready flipper
-FREADY FAPPER
-daddy better make me choke
-does Freddy freaker have a mutated alien dick
-sonic breaks the sound barrier by beating his meat
-the sun looks like it’s gon vore you
-bootyhole exploration
-is megalovania sex music
-i like to drink cock
-cum is just genital snot
-penis musk
-Shid piz and farbt
-Bull + shit = sis it don’t add up
-Hey don’t tell me at least once in your life you haven’t thought about being gently caressed across the genitalia by the kraken
-I swallow boba like i swallow cum
-I wuv fungus kun, the way he waps a awond my tosie wosies so tight! He’s gibing me a huggie!!!! Fungus kun gibes my tosies a new color too!!!! Wat a good fungus kun make my doki doki go “ UAU” heeheehee
-eating banana with the banana peel
-orang juce
-father I want cheddar
-don’t you just look at someone and think about how long their neck is
-breathing is just boneless vaping
-get outta here juuling criminal
-yall ever succ a dick for juul pods
-unironically drawing miss piggy
-“Jack don’t let go 😱🤭🤭, jack sweetie 😐👀 if you let go 🙊🙈 you’re weave 🙀🙀 gone 😇😘💅”
-I've been watching spooky movies for 5 hour
-omg it’s daddy sans undertaker!!!
-bröther
-I ate my sister
-are you'd's't've kidding me?
-oh youtube please don't show me the shrek movies rn
-My brother is calling me out on the family group chat for eating a bowl of peanut butter
-Hamilton is best girl
-get outta here you fuckin loyalist
-what doesn’t cum have
-drink flex seal and you won’t have to worry about a marriage
-I feel water.
-“Superfood or supergross? Is Sperm good?”
-coochie hands gucci bands
-just imagine trying to cast a spell and then you get disturbed by a banjo
-toto africa is sex music now and everytime they say rain it’s just cum
-y'all ever burp in your mouth and exhale it through your nose like a vaper
-how dare them make my green senpai an honorable member of society
-If you didn’t search big boobs video on google at least once are you really a Gen Z kid?????
-laugh pussies
-i’m watching the history of japan on pornhub
-we have the same name because we are secretly the same person
-what if you eat your phone and it’s all in your tummy
-why would you ever think i’m not serious all the time you silly dragon but we’re both (my name) so we can be the silly dragon together
-why would you wash your face before you go to bed when your tears wash it off for you *wooshing noises*
-I want to drive a bus because I like busses
-my shoe broke
-why does everyone talk about the drugs i’m eating
-i’m going to break her because she’s talking about smoking cocaine and I don’t like drugs
-(stage whisper) metal heads live among us but we don’t know because they look like normal people
-oh bye mr music teacher
-the pussy? designer. cucci, if you will.
-DID I HEAR S A N S P O R N
-"i'm about to nay nay on your dead fucking corpse"
-alert alert the toes are coming
-you got a fucking problem with my 𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐬?
-imagine using an oven for something designed for a microwave
this post was made by the doesnt have much motivation gang
-Please take my Minnesotan snow Wait that sounds like Minnesotan cocaine
-when you funny scream
-"dating the Bill of Rights for fun" is now exactly how I'm going to describe my hyperfixations
-the penguin from fruit loops is a twink (bitch its a toucan)
-if white cheese exists is there black cheese
-What’s rosum opossum
-whale cum
-dicko mode
-(GETTIN SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT UP IN THAT PUSS)
-pennies more like penis amirite
-It’s Sunday don’t forget to squeeze cheese on the cat
-the grinch is dr seuss’s fursona
-everyone is gangster until the trees start speaking vietnamese
-big chungus is my dad
-“if the apocalypse happened what would you do” “eat bees”
-I'm tired as fuck but I gotta wait until it's 4:20 to go to bed
-mom: you need to be reasonable and wait two hours before having another brownie
me, stuffing my mouth full of brownie: br o w n y s
-This honey in whole foods is in fucking comic sans
-it's more likely that I'll guess someone is gay before I remember the existence of women
-im gonna say it again for the people in the back:
i eat bees
-Thanos penis, it's actually called a thenis
-yort
-uwu its the mowst thorstiewst time of the yeaw uwu
-It is I
Teh gromc
-The gronk is here to say eat all the dish soap in the house
-the grinch but he's wearing crocs the entire time
-answer my question or else i will establish sans porn
-You make him doki doki uwaaaaa!!!!
-birdbox but all the bird sounds are replaced by cardi b noises
-THE GROMPK IS TOO POWERFUL
-consume ocean sauce
-square up in judge judys court
-half consumes ocean sauce
-ice juce
-frick stick
-you guys wanna read undertale fanfiction
-2019-
-it might be 2019 but thats not gonna stop me from terrorizing my family's groupchat
-(pineapple voice) first date idea: digest eachother
-Wait dennys will arrest you for doing illegal things??
-pls purify me
-my toes are very succulent today
-two succs having flex
two succs having sex
my muscles
my muscles
involuntarily checks
-f u r r y , N a s h .
-Perfect for all occasions! Spill something on your nice shirt, give a messy blowjob, and sphagetti!!!
-Do you want cum on your nice shirt???
-it would be nice if i had cum on my shirt
-cocc succ machine
-I KNOW TONGUE JUTSU
-I feel like i’m in a meat prison
-hi you obese elephant
-plant porn is just flowey porn
-We all love the out of the box 4am messages we get
-YOU LIKE SNAS PEEPEE
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