#recognition of the self via the self (derogatory)

[soufre-de-paris]

had a realization about the very obvious allegory of the armor in this, and needed to lie down a bit and wallow in the feelings there for a bit

#paris midsummernight #recognition of the self via the other (derogatory)

[strangesmallbard]

yeah toxic shadowzel of course but what compels me about them is their potential to Unfuck each other. self recognition through the other (derogatory) -> self recognition through the other (healing). ultimately i want them to live in a cottage outside baldur’s gate and throw a fantasy tennis ball for scratch and have so much weird sex. they keep a tidy guest room for adventuring friends and argue over breakfast and stargaze and lae’zel chops wood in the backyard while shadowheart is failing to read. neither of them keep gods anymore but shadowheart is colleagues with selûne while lae’zel and orpheus argue political theory via dimension door missives. you understand

#shadowheart #lae’zel #shadowzel #baldur’s gate 3 #yell.txt

[clonerightsagenda]

Still musing on the significance of Eiffel and Maxwell as counterparts when it comes to self-recognition via the other (derogatory) but I did note in the flashback episodes that they're the two whose first response to a Goddard job offer is to turn them down.

#not that it helps them but both of them were like gross! wretched vibes #wolf 359

[lesbianpegbar]

i love skip tuesdays its always always always me and the mutuals screaming about recognition of the self through the other (derogatory) via this fifteen year old blonde boy. every time

#send help #skip and loafer #mine

[tired-reader-writer]

Liminal AU. Horaia and Georgine. Brilliant girls silently screaming at the world, Look at me, look at me, listen to me, don't set me aside, don't forget me. Self recognition through the other (derogatory) (at least at first) (who knows what'll happen next? Georgine might even turn into a lopsided sort of mentor figure if things turn out a certain way) (or maybe they won't). Each resenting the world albeit for different reasons.

Georgine, the once-heiress who was pushed out of the race forcibly via a marriage outside her homeland, Horaia who was about to walk the same path (though Gieselfried and his Drewenchel 1st wife never truly considered Horaia a viable heir but that's a story for another day) via a betrothal to the Dunkelfelger heir, only to go “SIKE bitches!” and obtains herself an Ehrenfest groom instead via the sacred ditter, and steadily gaining political support as Knight Commander and caretaker of former Werkestock, Georgine looking at her stepdaughter and seeing a warped reflection of herself. I wonder what she'd feel about that.

#ascendance of a bookworm #honzuki no gekokujou #liminal au #horaia (oc) #georgine #tentatively considering a more elaborate and concrete AU name #liminal: the unstraying

[sepublic]

With how I compared Nykon to a Goliath that the freak show survivors must overcome as David, I feel like there’s something to be said about their ally named David Kress... I’ve never really written or imagined a particular conflict with Nykon or Kress, who fight mostly because of proxies, i.e. Nykon is trying to kidnap Lloyd and that upsets Trexdis, and Kress cares for both. Or the fact that he learns to see the freaks as friends, so by extension he’s going to hate Nykon. But I’ve never considered anything personal between Kress and Lightning Dragon, if they’d hold a specific stance towards that person because they’re that person, not because of their relations...

I mean, I did characterize Kress as kind of a ‘loser’ in the eyes of the Arkley Gang, simply not good enough, cast aside and given an inferiority complex for it. And Nykon also has this, because she was also seen as a loser, hence why she was assigned to hunt down the traitors; So it’s a sore spot and a desire to prove themselves.

Of course, Nykon has sort of moved on but not really from her dragon superiors; Deep down she still hopes for approval, but she knows it’s a lost cause. Whereas Kress is very much continuing to dedicate himself to his former superiors... With the express intent of overthrowing them. So Nykon has basically given up but won’t consider defiance, while it’s the other way around for Kress; He refuses to talk about anything else, and he wants to burn the whole thing down instead of finding his place in it.

But in the end, they’re both still affected by and dependent on that kind of approval, wanting to manifest it in different ways; Nykon as a valued underling or even a peer, while Kress wants Arkley and the teachers to fear him, to regret having ever made an enemy of him as he rises above and they fall.

Case in point, I could absolutely see Nykon reading Kress and figuring this out subconsciously, projecting onto him by mocking how he’s a loser reject and knowing exactly which buttons to push from experience; Deep down, Nykon sees herself reflected, and is practicing self-harm via self-recognition through the other (derogatory). So they’re both weirdly underdogs, in the context of their backgrounds? Still powerful and dangerous individuals on their own and to the common person, but that’s not who they’re always concerned about.

Though, I feel the David Vs Goliath metaphor works better for the freaks, considering they start off as so much more out of their league, freaks by human standards but in the larger context of the GEverse, mundane nobodies with nothing special to them. Whereas Kress was trained since childhood and has actual, dangerous magic, so it isn’t as much of a journey to see him getting strong enough to fight Nykon as it is for the freaks; He’s already gone through most of that work. Maybe I should just ignore Kress being a David, avoid name-dropping David and Goliath, and/or even change Kress’ first name since it’s not that important to his character.

#oc #ocs #my ocs #GEverse #Nykon #David Kress #the escapees

[sergeantsporks]

Accidental Kikimora redemption via her being BARELY not ruthless enough for Belos’ standards is an absolutely hilarious concept

Yeah, except it's not even that she's not ruthless enough because she's shown that she has no issue with hurting children, it's more like she saw Hunter having a breakdown in the woods and had a bilbo/frodoesque moment of "Oh, god, that's so pathetic, I can't kill it, also, that could have been me" and by the time she got over it, Hunter's scampered off into the woods. Recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)

#toh #the owl house #asks #kikimora #toh spoilers

[drabbles-of-writing]

on the upside liltih and hunter's relationship no matter what is, walp, bad. since lilith treats him as if he cant take care of himself, like eda cant take care of him, and that his lack of magic is something belos could 'fix'. when season two comes about lily has some serious apologies to make if she wants to try to be a good auntie thats for sure cmdmsmsm though.... wouldn't be surprised if hunter was a menace to her, always pranking her and annoying her as payback. or he hend a serious grudge for kidnapping and endangering luz, fighting eda at her worst, cursing eda in the first place, actually capturing her and getting her nearly petrified, etc. luz and king forgave liltih but i have a feeling like he wouldn't for awhile.....

Hunter is full of nothing but spite and takes out his revenge by annoying the hell out of Lilith via pranks or blasting the sounds of clown shoes squeaking when she walks. he holds one killer of a grudge and will go out of his way to make sure Lilith isn't in a room alone with anybody, either he or his cardinal palisman are watching her if shes within like 10 feet of anyone else in the family. especially Luz. he knows Eda could probably handle herself when not in an extreme situation, especially with Both of them losing magic, but Luz was someone Lilith was almost ready to Kill if it meant getting Eda back and he'd maul Lilith before that happened.

Lilith was already kind of nervous and out of place with everyone else, but it doubles with Hunter. she's both extremely annoyed by his presence and Extra anxious because 1) he's still one of Eda's kids, 2) she has no doubt he could make her life So Much worse if he wanted and 3) what the fuck this is the nephew of Emperor Belos. she mostly just avoids him as she ends up bonding with Hooty, which makes Hunter lessen up on keeping an eye on her, since he knows Hooty can and would beat her up if something went wrong.

Luz bonds with both Eda and Lilith through teaching them glyphs, since they're all magicless now. Hunter agrees to help Eda where he can with glyphs and wild magic, but refuses to do anything with Lilith. every once in a while Lilith will be nearby or in the same area as him as hes nerding about glyphs with Luz or Eda and Lilith is one of those people who loved to learn and know everything, she already showed excitement in excelling at glyphs in canon, she she'd end up asking questions and showing genuine interest. Hunter would almost always respond with a legit answer and start going off on an info-dump before he realized he was talking to and immediately shut down and leave. though they do end up bonding via Hunter going off on small info-dumps and Lilith doing her Absolute Best to be better for the Owl House residents.

remember how Amity and Hunter have 'recognition of self through another' (derogatory)? same thing with him and Lilith. but this time its in the sense of "Belos fucked us over with lies and also we crave recognition for our accomplishments" and this means that when Gwen showed up and Hunter was busy recoiling form her, he noticed Lilith trying to get her attention and. felt a little bad. because Gwen visited Eda and him all the time and she knew about Hunter well before Lilith did. course thats the same day Lilith leaves so they never truly get a 'i dont forgive you but that doesnt mean im holding a mean grudge anymore' moment until later on

#asks #adopted au #the owl house #hunter #golden guard #lilith clawthorne #the golden guard #lilith #gwen clawthorne #eda clawathorne #luz noceda #hooty #emperor belos #aunt lilith #toh #eda #belos

[caitlynlynch]

I absolutely adored Heiress For Hire, the first book in this series, so when I saw this one come up for review, I jumped right on it. And it’s got a lot of the elements I really enjoyed about the first book; a strong, self-made heroine with more than a little trauma in her background she’s learned to move past, more in the overarching mystery of who killed the previous duke and why exactly he left a large chunk of his fortune to three apparently random strangers and a hero who’s definitely not from the cookie-cutter mold of most romance heroes.

Unfortunately, that last is also where the book fell down a bit for me, because Kevin Radnor is someone I struggled to buy into as a romance hero. He’s clearly written to be on the autism spectrum, with hyperfocus, extraordinary intelligence, failure to consider other people’s feelings and the obvious recognition by his family that he’s liable to unintentionally cause offence just by being himself. And in a lot of ways, I was really rooting for him, because people on the spectrum absolutely deserve to find love too. The problem was that Kevin’s inner dialogue was not only somewhat callous when it came to calculating how he could manipulate Rosamund to do what he wanted, he was downright derogatory towards her for a lot of the book. Even when he began to admire her beyond the physical, he was still completely dismissive that her opinion might amount to anything.

Rosamund had to put up with a lot from his family - including bullying leading all the way up to sexual and physical assault - and his inability to recognise that he was just adding to her burdens was too much. She had to go to extreme lengths to demonstrate that he’d gone too far, and I didn’t honestly have faith that he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing again next time he thought he knew best.

I loved Rosamund from the first time she met Kevin and pointed out to him that of the two of them, she was the one with experience running a successful business. Kevin had his moments, but for the most part, I couldn’t quite see why Rosamund would fall in love with him, and I genuinely didn’t buy that he even understood what love actually is.

You could definitely read this one without having read the first in the series; though Minerva and Chase do appear here (and I’m still delighted with them) it’s not necessary to have read their story. I’m looking forward to Nicholas’s story too in the third book, and I’ll be looking out for it… but I think this one was a bit of a mis-step, because despite some excellent storytelling and a great heroine, I didn’t enjoy the romance. Three stars.

Heiress In Red Silk is available now. Disclaimer: I received a review copy of this title via NetGalley.

#3 star review #regency romance #autistic hero #autism representation

[cherra-khunatta]

冷戦的な物語 (The Cold War Story)

Nope, this is NOT the exact Cold War that you often hear in history books. This is the Cold War that I have experienced myself, with the person whom I called, my “special someone.”

Allow me to share to you the details... if you peeps do not mind, hehehe (PS: He’s no longer on FB and IG for personal reasons).

Chapter 1: Santa Maria Colegio de Ciudad Quezon

2007 - Many things happened during this time. I was still “in love” with my first serious crush in school, and we barely finished yet first year high school. Also, this was the year that I met “you know who” during the recognition rites practice. Oh, don’t remind me about it since I was in freshman of high school, and that wasn’t the most pleasant experience I had—like I was too busy like having butterflies on the stomach, thinking what I would do to please my crush again.

OO NA, CRUSH darake demo imi ga nai to wakaru yo. Demo sono ato, infatuation ga nakunatta.

Well, nakilala ko lang si “future” crush sa recognition rites practice and whatnot. HEARING HIS NAME means, basically iyung maputing chinitong kulang sa height, pero when his name was mentioned, like I was SHOOKt. HANTAI PALA!!! xD

Pero di ko pa crush iyun. Kayo naman.

At RANDOM pa ako nag-a-add sa Friendster... and sorry to say that includes him.

That year was also the time I really NEED to move on from my first crush. So yeah, nagka-crush ako sa teacher (ALAM NIYO NA IYAN! Charot!), na sorry to say, ‘di ko masyadong nagustuhan ang teaching style (chos!). Well, let me tell you this: That teacher was only some “transitional period” figure so that I could just “move on” from my first crush, who obviously was rejecting me all throughout (dahil nga sa nangyari... and I never thought of transferring schools at the first place, thinking that the alma mater where I regretted studying will eventually change and open up to new ways of thinking).

And so, yeah.

Until during this one episode where... I just saw him alone during I think, recess time? HAHAHA. I was like, I dunno, I just fell for him without even knowing his true identity. I only knew his face and name, and that’s about it. DAKEDO—miryokuteki na kao ha? Chotto... sukoshi heibon nano ha... futsuu na shakai ni yoru to, sore no hou ga tekitou na keiyou da yo.

And so, yeah. Parang ganun na nga.

I asked my batchmate (well, he wasn’t my clubmate that time, so yeah...) who he was. DAFUQ kilala niya pala. Clubmate niya pala. AHAHAHAHA. I guess, it was like it came to my senses that he’s pretty attractive to my taste dahil nerdy, tsaka he takes his academics seriously. Ayun.

And yes, I really WANTED to have this formal meeting with him. Get to know each other kaya ayun. I added him eventually on Yahoo! Messenger, and that’s it. We started chatting.

And mind you mga beh, sobrang KILIG KILIG much ako, without even formally meeting him. Well, kinukulit ko kasi ng bonggang-bongga iyung friend ko na clubmate siya.

OK ok... until it came to my senses na gan’to nga. YES I WILL MEET HIM NA...

That smile from my face is not a joke. I usually greet him and talk small talk with him whenever we meet. Ayun.

LAHAT LAHAT I showed my entire tatemae towards him, and I was introducing him to my friend who’s a batch lower than him pero batch higher sakin. In short, third year level siya. And yes... kasama niya meiwaku niyang kabarkada na sumira ng lahat.

OO... at hindi ko na lang siya babanggitin dahil... I will discuss that later.

So, ayun. ALL OF A SUDDEN everything was gone. Ganun-ganun lang dahil sa nangyari. I was fucking humiliated and embarassed and shit. Ayoko nang pag-usapan and somehow, medyo it left a mark in my life na gan’to. And that time, I wasn’t really in good terms with some of my classmates dahil sorry to say, I was dealing with a lot of demons in my head. Ni hindi man lang talaga in-explain sakin ng maayos ang mental health condition ko (which you know, has emerged ever since before naging uso ang SPEAK OUT re: mental health awareness; well, no offense sa mga may mental health issues).

Somehow, another factor that destroyed our friendship was online games. DOON NA TALAGA nag-start ang Cold War.

And knowing the strict rules of this alma mater? FUCK NO. I won’t explain everything in detail na.

OK so to speak: Hindi na kami friends sa Friendster, at saka di na kami nag-uusap gaano sa YM, and yes, hindi parin kami friends sa Multiply something like that.

So to speak. NO JIDORI. Kahit civilian-wearing day, shit na malagkit, no communication with him. Just pure cold war via away thru social media for petty reasons.

2008 - And yes, he graduated from high school, and I do not have any idea about his college. Well, none of my business tho. The Cold War still continues.

So to speak, HINDI KO SIYA BINATI NUNG TANJOUBI NIYA. KAHIT GUSTONG-GUSTO KO.

Third year high school - So ayun. I met his imouto (LOL), and you know what? Ayun, sneak peek: NAGPAKILALA AKO SA KANYA with my best buddy... you know what I mean?

Hindi ko lang hinalata na kilala ko si kuya niya and shit.

DAFUQ. NAGKA-ALAMAN na during this episode like... putcha inamin ko na lang sa imouto niya na kilala ko siya at may gusto talaga ako sa kanya.

And you see, kahit pumupunta-punta kuya niya just to get her report card, like jusko, BAKIT HINDI KO PA SIYA LAPITAN!? I WAS SHOOKt. Confused me was like, I just want to talk to him, but I can’t. Social distancing lang ang peg, beh? xD

Tuloy parin ang Cold War sa internet. Walang katapusan.

Pero this was at the same time, my best buddy’s movements were kind of far from normal. Iyun din ang factor na may huge impact sa buhay ko... which would determine my future career in the long-run... (lol may pa-ganun ganun pa?).

Si meiwaku na lang talaga... she got the nice things, but on the following year I was LEFT WITH NOTHING! Admins must answer my demands... charot!

2009 - Ayun. Wala paring katapusang Cold War. Pero this time, I parted ways with my best buddy (sorry, wala nang ibang choice eh). AYOKONG mangyari iyun talaga... pero parting ways with him made my fourth year high school the WORST part of my high school life. Kasi tuwing anjan si best buddy, no one will really touch me (me paganun-ganun pa).

But yeah, I have to suck it up.

Gusto ko nang tumakas from that so-called tyrannical high school which has the crappiest quality of education in history. Putang ina talaga. Sorry for the language, but that school has to be accountable for damages (waley charot!).

That was also the time I commented on someone’s post na ganito ang school niya na gumagamit ng gantong language. Well, derogatory pa nga ang term eh (LOL).

COLD WAR PARIN.

2010 - Graduate na ako ng high school (SA WAKAAAAAAS!). Well, the bad memories and sh*t because I think the one responsible for sectioning students INSULTED ME ALL THROUGHOUT, and yeah.

Chapter 2: Pamantasang Taft Avenue

I FINALLY CAME TO HIS SCHOOL. YEE-HAW!

Pero di parin tapos ang laban. Again, the Cold War has re-emerged on what? Formspring! The shittiest website you’ll ever encounter in your entire life.

Somehow, I gained more EMENIES online... because you know that anime and video games are kind of BANNED in our household, but I watch anime secretly through torrent (shhhhh). Nalagyan pa ng VIRUS ang laptop ko dahil gusto ko talagang ma-download iyung mga content na ANIME talaga. And why the F*** did I NOT take up Japanese studies instead, if I love anime? Well, then and again the meiwaku person’s gaslighting and sh*t...

And 2010 was my FUCKING WORST YEAR because sinagad ko pa nga ang college. Bakit di na lang ako nag-gap year and shit? At gini-guilt trip pa nga ako na dapat UST na lang ako dahil ganto. But NO. Wala sanang problema ang UST but look, you want me to experience another part 2 of my high school alma mater? NO WAY, Jose. At talagang gusto ko na talagang mag-civilian clothes because it signifies FREEDOM!

Oh wait—freedom my ass. Wala parin akong bonggang-bonggang freedom dahil I was still continuing to BATTLE MY INNER DEMONS like WTF was I born this way and smth like that... ayun.

Medyo nasa stage talaga ako ng self-deprecation, NO THANKS to my background and whatnot. Everyone had really aristocratic features, and academic achievements and they’re so confident about themselves (TEKA... baka FULL of themselves).

And that’s also the time na parang hindi ko rin feel ang mga magiging kasama ko for the first 2 terms. Sorry to say, but it seems that I did not belong to their league at all.

Parang ganun.

And then again, AYOKO NANG MAG-ELABORATE gaano.

This year was the only year I learned to RISE UP from my mistakes. 2 fucking failures only means that “O AYAN, sa sobrang conceited mo kasi, ba’t di mo kaya babaan pride mo?”

Di mo masisi, turbulent masyado ang high school life ko. Meganon. Chos.

2011 - So yeah, third term of my college life... I decided to cross-enroll because I really do not feel to be with these sorts of people. YES, the elitistas.

YEAH... they only dress nicely and speak English like a person from the soshal high society pero manners ANLAYO... parang alipin race by practice parin pero naka-LV ang mga luka-luka.

KAYA AYOKO NA SILANG MAKITA! Charot!

This year was also the first time I came to Japan. MY DREAM DESTINATION! Pero huwag kayo, naging favorite country ko talaga siya (well sorry to say, na-”brainwash” ako ng mga libtard ideas that time, abandoning the conservatism from high school) dahil sa anime pati video games.

Sinabi ko talaga, sana makabalik ako sa Japan. KAHIT European studies ang major ko nun.

And yeah... medyo hindi ko na ma-open mind ko because of this constant fear-mongering from this sort of environment that isn’t really open to new ideas and only cares about snobbery. Kaya siguro mas malapit ang loob ko sa mga hard sciences majors dahil ‘di hamak mas open-minded tsaka conservative in practice talaga sila... and f*** liberals, ya know.

OO, Cold War parin talaga, fren. Di kami nag-uusap at kahit nakikita ko rin siya paminsan-minsan, I just do some sorts of weird stuff and yeah...

2012 - THESIS year. Jusko... heto pa talaga ang pinaka-judgment day sa lahat. Like, ga-graduate pa ba ako, kahit sabihin nating pasaway student ako nun?

Pero, Cold War parin.

2013 - The time I graduated from college. INUNAHAN KO SIYA! BWAHAHAHAHAHHA!

Pero huwag kayo—medyo rocky road din ang taong ‘to dahil I decided to reconcile with my best buddy and raised the white flag dahil nga siyempre, I tried to forget him but NO WAY... he was a huge part of my life kaya papano ko siya kakalimutan? Diba?

Well, because I fucking missed the graduation ball of my batch. AYOKO sanang pumunta dun for personal reasons... well, may tiket na ako pero gusto ko talagang ibenta. PRAMIS!!!

The result? GAP YEAR from looking for work. Just to attend next year’s grad ball.

After I graduated, I went to South Korea for the 1st time and JAPAN... for ze second time around. First time in Tokyo.

Grabe.

Wala akong masabi.

Dun na siguro nagsimula ang formal Japanese lessons ko.

Pero again, COLD WAR parin.

2014 - YES!!! I attended the grad party... with my high school bestie. Sobrang happy ko nun dahil makakasama ko siya muli. <3

AND...

Pumasok ako sa law school. WELL, LAHAT NG MGA MAHAHALAGANG GAMIT KO, NAWALA SAKIN. F*** those 3 drivers na alipin race by practice! I HEYT DRAHGS!!!

Pero, Cold War parin.

Chapter 3: Travajo, Shigoto, Arbeit

2015 - The time HE graduated from college. Well, I was already studying photography so yeah... and during this year, this is where I had my very first job. Ayun. Meaning to say, new crushes and sh*t, and yeah, meeting new people.

Pero, Cold War parin.

At the same time, meeting new people? Dalawa rin naging crush ko. Pero LABAG sa kalooban ko at pumunta kami ng North America. FUCK... I don’t wanna come back but my parents insisted and sh*t.

Sorry to say, pa-sh*th0l3 na kasi iyung alam niyo na, pinaka-supposedly makapangyarihang bansa sa buong daigdig este hegemon. Gomen nasai to my American friends, but if you knew me closer and deeper, no offense to your country tho!

I was sooooo inggit sa mga taong nakapag-Japan on this year. Haist. Di afford mag-Japan pero afford mag-US? ABNORMAL OI.

Hanggang kapritso’t pabonggahan lang kayo dun eh. And I HATE IT!

Pero 2015 is also the year that I really need to move on from you-know-who. Kasi jusko, dami-daming gwapo diyan! Hindi lang siya!

2016 - WAIT... this is the best year for me... and pretty much the worst. First time kong pumunta ng Kyoto and thought that this is like the Philippines when it’s summer. Tourists weren’t really too many and yeah, move on talaga from that special someone dahil inisip ko one day, mahahanap ko na talaga ang special someone ko. Jusko, daming mas gwapo pa dun anoh! HAHAHAHA.

And my first time to USJ! YEE-HAW!

Bonggang-bongga’t heto na rin ang “moment of truth has finally arrived” and sh*t, at saka PANIBAGONG CRUSH all the way... sa work ko pa nakita at dehins basta-bastang tao iyun! BWAHAHAHAHA at siya pa nga nag-udyok sakin mag-art (BWAHAHAHAHA).

Hindi biro iyan—kung di dahil pinapunta ako sa Craft Mania, malamang I would have NEVER spent my money ng bonggang-bongga sa mga art materials na di ko pa alam gamitin that time. Pabonggahan lang and sorts of stuff (KIDS, don’t try this at home, ha? Learn to save your keep kahit papano)—para lang mag-show off.

2017 - COLD WAR PARIN.

2018 - COLD WAR PARIN.

Pero mind you, this is when the defining point of time I really have to prove myself na worthy akong mag-Japan. NOPE. Not the Japayuki sort of thing dahil... watashi no kao kara suru to, not to brag, but does it seem like... DO I LOOK LIKE A JOKE TO YOU!? Beh, move on na! Hindi na high school itey! Chos!

Pero mind you, this was also the time I un-expectedly PASSED JLPT for the first time. I literally was happy, but still not complacent. Nakukulangan pa ako.

And this is also the time I proved to myself, babalik ako sa Japan to fulfill my childhood dream: Disney Resort sa Japan dahil dun ko talaga gusto eh! Haist talaga, malas ako at dehins ako half-Japanese, you know that feeling of wanting to go to Japan before 2010 because of the cool stuff... pero turns out hindi. Mamaya na.

And after going to Tokyo Disneyland? The next day, we went to unexpectedly the art store that would become my FAVORITE PLACE in the world dahil na-meet ko na ang lalakweng nagpa-tibok ng puso ko. CHAROT!!! Imagine, grabe OPPOSITE niya talaga ang color ng mga Binay, walang gluta pa iyan! Pero likas na gwapo’t magaling pa mag-English (never mind his funny accent LOL). At BAROK pa Nihongo ko nun. As in hazukasii tsukaikata desho! w

Siya ang defining moment ng buong trip ko sa Japan. Dahil siyempre, he has this smile na sobrang sincere at walang pretensions... like he was like that dude whom you want to take for dinner. LOL me paganun-ganun pa.

AT siyempre, back to you-kn0w-who again, tensions are getting relaxed, pero COLD WAR PARIN technically.

2019 - Heto na iyung taong formally pumunta ako ng Japan na walang uwian talaga. Dire-diretso na ang paninirahan ko bilang ryuugakusei. At siyempre, hazukashii parin dahil shit talaga na malagkit, my Japanese wasn’t very very good. Sono kaiwa nouryoku ha zenzen hazukashikatta desho. Maa, mou takusan naratta houga yoroshii yo.

And YES, I went to different places like Kamakura, Yokohama Chinatown, Kobe, Hiroshima, Fukuoka, Nara... shit andami na talaga. Dahil naka-stay ako sa Japan for a year. And my mom often visits me dahil siyempre hitorgurashi ako ditey. And it’s quite depressing ya know—loner, iyung feeling na welcome ka pero di ka parin belong sa society nila. At medyo confused stage parin ako dahil pagod na ako ng bonggang-bongga sa Philippine politics kaya I need a fucking break. But no... things don’t really work that way ya see.

Chapter 4: The moment of truth has finally arrived—tokoro no naka ni ha, Nippon de

And this is one defining moment when wait... like I went to Kobe for the first time around...

Nandito na lang ako sa Japan, at siyempre iyung crush ko na iyun talaga (oi, hindi si opposite skintone ng mga Binay, ok?), I just want to reconcile with him ever since. So, why not again... do something about it?

Remember, wala nang Yahoo Messenger. Wala na ring Friendster. Pati Multiply tigok na rin. At saka wala na ang online games, anoh? DotA na lang tsaka Mobile Legends, pagkaka-alam ko.

And so it happened like this...

He already viewed my IG posts, and that was the time I really had to focus on my studies in the bekka program. Andito na lang ako sa Japan, at saka you know... like the kalungkutan in my eyes show that despite that I love Japan, and I wished to naturalize in the place I consider my second home, parang gusto ko nang i-abandona iyung idea na iyun. Because for one, I am fully aware that Japan is not an immigration-friendly country.

So yeah, because he views my stories on Instagram, I guess this is the time I have to poke him on Facebook?

Oo, sa Messenger ko pa ginawa iyun.

And surprisingly, he sent me a message.

Ayun.

Wait lang ha... ayun.

Nakita ko na talaga na “Sorry sa late reply... ano po iyun? Oh, na-alala nga kita, at sorry sa nagawa ko noon. Sobrang immature ko nun at alam mo na hindi ka deserving sa ganun.”

Umiyak ako. Bonggang-bonggang reconciliation na talaga ang ramdam ko.

Nagpasalamat talaga ako sa kanya, siya iyung dahilan kung bakit nandito ako sa Japan. Shikata ga nai kedo, kung di dahil sa kanya well... I would never be in Japan right now.

Siya parin talaga ang babalikan ko at the end of the day. At hindi ko mai-tatanggi na siya talaga ang inspirasyon ko sa pagpunta ko rito sa Japan bilang ryuugakusei.

2020 - Coronavirus.

Heto na rin ang taon na for good na ang rainichi niya. Totsuzen iyun, hindi iyan ang original plan niya. And his company was already dissolving, so he has to deal with things and stuff before he gets free time.

At takot talaga siya sa coronavirus.

At naka-graduate pa ako. Pasado ko lahat mga subject ko. Pero hindi parin ako kuntento talaga. May kulang pa.

OO, nung panahong iyun sobrang depressed talaga ako. Fuck, all the good and the bad memories in my Japanese university were like, emerging again, just looking at the clothes.

It’s like telling me I really have to go back home.

Kailangan ko nang umuwi ng Pilipinas dahil wala na ako gaanong obligasyon dito sa Japan. Also, whenever I wake up in the morning? I often get depressed, wishing nagtagal lang ako dito sa Japan, pero mukhang hindi talaga para sakin ang Japan, iyan ang ramdam ko.

But I wished so hard, magkita pa kami.

Kotoshi no rokugatsu - Dapat nakauwi na ako ng Pinas nitey. Oo nga, dahil hanggang gantong buwan lang ako andito sa Japan. And I’m stuck in a limbo simply because of that panirang coronavirus.

I cannot admit, I was battling my own demons while I was in school. Like, hindi ko talaga tanggap ang nakaraan ko because I wasted my time being YOLO. Like, ano ba talaga gusto ko paglaki ko?

Fuck, how I wish I planned earlier, but certain factors like political something something was a hindrance. PERO HINDI.

Until I finally decided to meet him.

Lubusin ko na’to. I worked so effing hard just to bring back our friendship. I wanted a closure. I WANTED IT EVER SINCE. Gusto ko na talagang tapusin ‘tong kabanatang maitataguri kong Cold War.

The Cold War that shaped me into a better person, I guess?

June 10 - The day we finally met.

The day when eventually, niyakap ko siya at tinawag ko na sempai.

I finally found the closure I was seeking for.

I noticed, maraming nagbago for sure: First and foremost, inamin niya ring dehins niya gusto masyado ang nangyari sa high school life... and yeah mas enjoy di hamak ang college life, where he learned a lot of stuff.

Sa Japan pa talaga, of all places. I tried other sorts of cultures, if this will fit me, but in the end I simply ended up being in the place I consider my second home, and met my crush there and had the closure I was seeking for: Didn’t expect he would delete some of his social media accounts which sorry to say, parang Fall of the Berlin Wall ang peg.

I was like, I would never expect him to be the person I knew since high school. Kung di ko man lang na-afford makipag-jidori sa  kanya o batiin siya sa Meris o sa La Salle...

Kaya siya tinatawag na Cold War.

#Cold War story #original #SMCQC #DLSU #Cold War #Saint Mary's College of Quezon City #De La Salle University #De La Salle University - Manila #DLSU-M #DLSUM #La Salle #An1mo #Marian #Lasallian

[lgbtqia-dictionary-blog]

Harvard LGBTQIA Resource Dictionary

Hello! This blog is mainly surrounding LGBTQIA terminology. Below is a list of LGBT terms found on the Harvard BGLTQ website! If you have any that are missing you can submit and I will add them to this website! 

Ace – Someone who identities as Asexual.

Ag / Aggressive – A term originating within communities of color to describe a masculine lesbian. Also known as ‘stud.’

Agender – A person without gender. An agender individual’s body does not necessarily correspond with their lack of gender identity. [Related Terms: neutrois, genderless, gender neutral]

Ally – 1. Someone who confronts heterosexism, anti- LGBTQIA biases, heterosexual and cisgender privilege in themselves and others 2. Has concern for the well being of lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans*, intersex, queer, and other similarly identified people 3. Believes that heterosexism, homophobia, biphobia and transphobia are social justice issues.

Androgyne – A person appearing and/or identifying as neither man nor woman. Some androgyne individuals may present in a gender neutral or androgynous way.

Aromantic – A person who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others.

Asexual – A person who does not experience sexual attraction. They may or may not experience emotional, physical, or romantic attraction. Asexuality differs from celibacy in that it is a sexual orientation, not a choice. People who are asexual may call themselves “ace.”

Assigned at Birth – This term illustrates that an individual’s sex (and subsequently gender in early life) was assigned without involving the person whose sex was being assigned. Commonly seen as “Female Assigned At Birth” (FAAB or AFAB) and “Male Assigned At Birth” (MAAB or AMAB).

BDSM – (Bondage, Discipline/Domination, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism) The terms ‘submission/sadism’ and ‘masochism’ refer to deriving pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain, often in a sexual context. The terms ‘bondage’ and ‘domination’ refer to playing with various power roles, in both sexual and social context. These practices are often misunderstood as abusive, but when practiced in a safe, sane, and consensual manner can be a part of healthy sex life. [Related Terms: Kink, Leather]

Bear – 1. Originating within a gay men’s subculture, someone who has facial/body hair and a larger body. 2. An umbrella term that is often defined as more of an attitude and a sense of comfort with natural masculinity and bodies.

Bicurious – A person showing some curiosity for a relationship or sexual activity with a person of a gender they do not usually engage with. [Related terms: heteroflexible, homoflexible]

Bigender – A person whose gender identity is a combination of man and woman. They may consciously or unconsciously change their gender-role behavior from masculine to feminine, or vice versa.

Binding – The process of flattening one’s breasts to have a more masculine or flat appearing chest.

Biphobia – The fear of, discrimination against, or hatred of bisexuals, which is often times related to the current binary standard. Biphobia can be seen within the LGBTQIA community, as well as in general society.

Bisexual – A person who experiences sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction to people of their own gender as well as other genders, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree.

Boi (pronounced boy) – 1. A person assigned female at birth who expresses or presents themselves in a culturally/stereotypically masculine, particularly boyish way. 2. One who enjoys being perceived as a young man and intentionally identifies with being a “boy” rather than a “man.”

Bottom – A person who is the receiving or penetrated partner during sexual activity.

Bottom Surgery – Surgery on the genitals designed to create a body in harmony with a person’s gender identity. [Related Terms: Gender Confirming Surgery, Sexual Reassignment Surgery]

Brown Boi – A masculine of center person of color.

Butch – 1.A person who identifies themselves as masculine, whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally 2. Sometimes used as a derogatory term for lesbians, but it can also be claimed as an affirmative identity label.

Cisgender – someone who feels comfortable with the gender identity assigned to them based on their sex assigned at birth.

Cisgender Privilege – The set of privileges conferred to people who are believed to be Cisgender. (Examples: having one’s personal pronouns correctly used, no harassment in public restrooms, no denial of expected access to health care, etc.)

Cisnormativity – The assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is cissexual, and that cisgender persons identities are more normal, valid, and worthy of respect than transgender people’s identities.

Cissexism – A pervasive and institutionalized system that “others” transgender people and treats their needs and identities as less important than those of cisgender people.

Coming Out – 1. The process of accepts one’s own sexuality, gender identity, or status as an intersex person (to “come out” to oneself). 2. The process of sharing one’s sexuality, gender identity, or intersex status with others (to “come out” to friends, etc.). 3. A life-long process for individuals in the LGBTQIA community.

Cross-dressing – To occasionally wear clothes traditionally associated with people of the other gender. Cross-dressing is a form of gender expression, is not necessarily tied to erotic activity, and is not indicative of sexual orientation.

Demiromantic – A person who does not experience romantic attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

Demisexual – A person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

Discrimination – Prejudice + power. It occurs when members of a more powerful social group behave unjustly or cruelly to members of a less powerful social group. Discrimination can take many forms, including both individual acts of hatred or injustice and institutional denials of privileges normally accorded to other groups. Ongoing discrimination creates a climate of oppression for the affected group.

Down Low – Originating within communities of color, used to describe men who identify as heterosexual but who are sexually active with men. Many avoid sharing this information even if they are also sexually active with women. [Related terms: Men who sleep with men (MSM)]

Drag – The performance of one or multiple genders theatrically.

Drag King – A person who performs masculinity theatrically.

Drag Queen – A person who performs femininity theatrically.

Dyke – 1.Sometimes adopted affirmatively by lesbians (not necessarily masculine ones) to refer to themselves. 2. Derogatory term referring to (often masculine) lesbians.

Fag – 1.Derogatory term for a gay or effeminate man. 2. Derogatory term for any individual who does not match their assigned gender role. 3. Sometimes reclaimed by gay men as a self-identifier.

Femme – An individual of any assigned sex or gender identity who identifies with femininity as dictated by traditional gender roles.

FTM – Abbreviation for a female-to-male transgender person. This term reflects the direction of gender transition. Some prefer the term MTM (Male to Male) to underscore the fact that though they were assigned female at birth, they never identified as female. [Related terms: transgender man, trans man]

Gay – 1.Used in some cultural settings to represent men who are attracted to men in a romantic, erotic and/or emotional sense. Not all men who engage in same gender sexual behavior identify as gay, and as such this label should be used with caution [See: Down Low]. 2. An umbrella term for sexual orientations that fall outside of straight/heterosexual.

Gender – A socially constructed system of classifications that ascribes qualities of masculinity and femininity to people. Gender characteristic can change over time and vary between cultures.

Gender – A complex system of roles, expressions, identities, performances, and more that are given gendered meaning by a society and usually assigned to people based on the appearance of their sex characteristics at birth. How gender is embodied and defined varies from culture to culture and from person to person.

Gender Binary – The idea that there are only two genders – man or woman –and that a person must be strictly gendered as either/or. [See also: Identity Sphere]

Gender Confirming Surgery – Medical surgeries used to modify one’s body to be more congruent with one’s gender identity. Also known as ‘Sex Reassignment Surgery,’ especially within the medical community. In most states, one or multiple surgeries are required to achieve legal recognition of gender status.

Gender Dysphoria – Discomfort or distress caused by one’s assigned sex and the desire to change the characteristics that are the source.

Gender Expression – How one presents oneself and one’s gender to the world via dress, mannerisms, hairstyle, facial hair etc. This may or may not coincide with or indicate one’s gender identity. Many utilize gender expression in an attempt to determine the gender/sex of another individual. However, a person’s gender expression may not always match their gender identity.

Gender Identity – A person’s sense of self as masculine, feminine, both, or neither regardless of external genitalia.

Gender Non Conforming – A person who either by nature or by choice does not conform to gender-based expectations of society (e.g. transgender, transsexual, intersex, genderqueer, butch, cross-dresser,etc.). Also known as ‘Gender Variant.’

Gender Normative – A person who by nature or by choice conforms to gender based expectations of society.

Gender Oppression - The societal, institutional, and individual beliefs and practices that privilege Cisgender and subordinate and disparage transgender or gender non conforming people.

Genderqueer – An individual whose gender identity is neither male nor female, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders. Sometimes this includes a political agenda to challenge gender stereotypes and the gender binary system. Genderqueer individuals may or may not pursue any physical changes, such as hormonal or surgical intervention, and may not identify as trans*.

Grey Ace – Someone who identifies as part of the asexual community but does not identify as completely asexual. This differs from demisexuality in that being demisexual is a specific orientation and a gray ace is used as a catch all for any unspecified identity under the Ace umbrella.

Heteronormativity – The assumption, in individuals or in institutions, that everyone is heterosexual, and that heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality, bisexuality, and other sexual orientations.

Heterosexual – Men who experience sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction to women, and vice versa. Also known as ‘straight.’

Heterosexism – Prejudice against individuals and groups who display non-heterosexual behaviors or identities, combined with the majority power to impose such prejudice. Usually used to the advantage of the group in power. Any attitude, action, or practice – backed by institutional power – that subordinates people because of their sexual orientation.

Heterosexual Privilege – Those benefits derived automatically by being heterosexual or being perceived as heterosexual that are denied to homosexual and bisexual people. Also, the benefits homosexual and bisexual people receive as a result of claiming heterosexual identity or denying homosexual or bisexual identity.

HIV-phobia – The irrational fear or hatred of persons living with HIV/AIDS.

Homophobia – The irrational fear, hatred, or intolerance of people who identify or are perceived as non-heterosexual, including the fear of being read as part of the “gay” community. Homophobic behavior can range from telling gay jokes, to verbal abuse, to acts of physical violence.

Homoromantic – Someone who has romantic feelings for members of the same sex or gender.

Homosexual – An out of date term for a person who is primarily emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted to members of the same sex. Many people view this term as offensive in that it is excessively clinical and sexualizes members of the LGBTQIA community.

Identity Sphere – The idea that gender identities and expressions do not fit on a linear scale, but rather on a sphere that allows room for all expression without weighting any one expression as better than another.

In the Closet – Refers to a homosexual, bisexual, trans person or intersex person who will not or cannot disclose their sex, sexuality, sexual orientation or gender identity to their friends, family, co-workers, or society. An intersex person may be closeted due to ignorance about their status since standard medical practice is to “correct,” whenever possible, intersex conditions early in childhood and to hide the medical history from the patient. There are varying degrees of being “in the closet.” For example, a person can be out in their social life, but in the closet at work, or with their family.

Institutional Oppression – Arrangements of a society used to benefit one group at the expense of another through the use of language, media, education, religion, economics, etc.

Internalized Oppression – The process by which a member of an oppressed group comes to accept and live out the inaccurate stereotypes applied to the oppressed group.

Intersex Person(s) – Individual(s) born with the condition of having physical sex markers (genitals, hormones, gonads, or chromosomes) that are neither clearly male nor female. Intersex people are sometimes defined as having “ambiguous” genitalia.

LAG – "Lesbian After Graduation." Related to the usage of "LUG," primarily within some women's colleges. Used more as a short-hand in conversation among alums when they don't remember the person as having been a part of the lesbian community while they were students together, e.g., "she must be a LAG."

Leather Community – A community which encompasses those who are into leather, sado-masochism, bondage and domination, uniform, cowboys, rubber, and other fetishes. Although the leather community is often associated with the queer community, it is not a "gay-only" community.

Lesbian – Women who experience sexual, romantic, physical, and/or spiritual attraction to other women.

LGBTQIA – A common abbreviation for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual community. The acronym is used as an umbrella term when talking about non heterosexual and non-cisgender identities, and does not always reflect members of the community. Sometimes the “A” is used to reference Allies and the “Q” is used to reference Questioning people.

Lipstick Lesbian – Usually refers to a lesbian with a feminine gender expression. Can be used in a positive or a derogatory way, depending on who is using it. Is sometimes also used to refer to a lesbian who is seen as automatically passing for heterosexual.

LUG – Derogatory term standing for “Lesbian Until Graduation” mostly used/heard by those within some women’s colleges. Portrays the person as “selling out” for a post-graduation life of heterosexual privilege. Denies the possibility of a bisexual identity.

Masculine of Center – A term originating within communities of color describing people whose gender identity or expression falls towards the masculine end of the gender spectrum; includes a wide range of identities such as butch, stud, aggressive/AG, dom, macha, tomboi, trans masculine, etc.

Monosexual – Attracted to one gender. May be used for individuals who identify as straight, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, etc.

MTF – Abbreviation for a male-to-female transgender person. This term reflects the direction of gender transition. Some people prefer the term FTF (female to female) to underscore the fact that though they were assigned male at birth, they never identified as male. [Related terms: transgender woman, trans woman]

Nonmonosexual – Attracted to more than one gender. May be used for individuals who identify as fluid, bisexual, pansexual, etc.

Neutrois – A person who identifies as being neither a man nor woman. This differs from androgyne, in that an androgyne sees themselves as a mix of two genders, while neutrois individual sees themselves as not having a gender. [Similar terms: genderless, agender, or non-gendered.]

Oppression – The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group with access to social power, the result of which benefits one group over the other and is maintained by social beliefs and practices.

Outing – When someone discloses information about another’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their knowledge and/or consent.

Packing – Wearing a phallic device on the groin and under clothing for any purposes including: (for someone without a biological penis) the validation or confirmation of one’s masculine gender identity; seduction; and/or sexual readiness (for one who likes to penetrate another during sexual intercourse).

Panromantic – Someone who has romantic feelings for a person regardless of their sex or gender.

Pansexual – A person who has the potential to be attracted to all or many gender identities and expressions.

Passing – Describes a person's ability to be accepted as their preferred gender/sex or to be seen as heterosexual.

Polyamory – Refers to having honest, non-monogamous relationships with multiple partners and can include: open relationships, polyfidelity (which involves multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact restricted to those), and sub-relationships (which denote distinguishing between a ‘primary’ relationship or relationships and various ‘secondary’ relationships).

Prejudice – A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual members. Anyone can be prejudiced toward another individual or group.

Queer – 1. An umbrella term which includes lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, trans* people, intersex persons, radical sex communities, and many other sexually transgressive communities. 2. This term is sometimes used as a sexual orientation label or gender identity label used to denote a non-heterosexual or cisgender identity without have to define specifics. 3. A reclaimed word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been reclaimed by some folks in the LGBTQIA community. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold ‘queer’ to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterosexual people is often considered offensive.

Questioning – An individual who is unsure of and/or exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.

Same Gender Loving (SGL) – A term originating within communities of color used to express same gender attraction. Note that it is often used as an alternative to words that do not culturally affirm the history of people of African descent.

Sex – A medical term designating a certain combination of gonads, chromosomes, external gender organs, secondary sex characteristics and hormonal balances. Because ‘sex’ is usually subdivided into ‘male’ and ‘female’ based on genitalia, this category does not recognize the existence of intersex bodies.

Sexual Orientation – The desire for intimate emotional and/or sexual relationships with people of the same gender, another gender, or multiple genders.

Sexuality – Refers to a person’s exploration of sexual behaviors, practices and identities in the social world.

Stealth – This term refers to when a person chooses to be secretive in the public sphere about their gender history, either after transitioning or while successful passing. Also referred to as ‘going stealth’ or ‘living in stealth mode.’

Stem – A person whose gender expression falls somewhere between a stud and a femme. [See also: Femme and Stud]

Stereotype – A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without regard for their individual differences. Some stereotypes can be positive. However, they can have a negative impact, simply because they involve broad generalizations that ignore individual realities.

Stonewall Riots – On June 28th, 1969, New York City Police attempted a routine raid on the Stonewall Inn, a working-class gay and lesbian bar in New York’s Greenwich Village. Unexpectedly, the patrons resisted, and the incident escalated into a riot that continued for several days. Many people attribute this event as the catalyst for the American Gay Liberation Movement. It is often left out that the more frequent patrons of this bar were trans women, drag queens and butch lesbians.

Straight – Another term for heterosexual.

Straight-Acting – A term usually applied to gay men who readily pass as heterosexual. The term implies that there is a certain way that gay men should act that is significantly different from heterosexual men. Straight-acting gay men may be critiqued by members of the LGBTQIA community for seemingly accessing heterosexual privilege.

Stud – A term originating within communities of color to describe a masculine lesbian. Also known as ‘aggressive.’

Switch – A person who is both a ‘Top’ and a ‘Bottom;’ there may or may not be a preference for one or the other. Also known as ‘Versatile.’

Top – A person who is the giving or penetrating partner during sexual activity.

Top Surgery – This term usually refers to surgery for the construction of a male-type chest, but may also refer to breast augmentation.

Trans* – An abbreviation that is used to refer to a transgender/gender queer/ gender non-conforming person. This use allows a person to state a gender variant identity without having to disclose hormonal or surgical status/intentions. This term is sometimes used to refer to the whole gender non-conforming community that might include (but is not limited to) transgender, genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, genderf*ck, transsexual, agender, third gender, two-spirit, bigender, trans man, trans woman, gender non-conforming, masculine of center, and gender questioning.

Transfeminine – 1. A term used to describe those who were assigned male at birth, but identify as more female than male.. 2. Those who identify as transfeminine, as opposed to simply as MTF or a woman, trans or otherwise, often place themselves feminine of center. That is, they identify more closely with femaleness than maleness, and generally desire a physical appearance that reflects this identification, but do not identify as wholly female or as a woman. It should be noted that transfeminine is not a descriptor of gender expression but of identity. Transfeminine people do not necessarily have to be stereotypically feminine in their interests or even presentation.

Transgender – A person who lives as a member of a gender other than that expected based on sex or gender assigned at birth. Sexual orientation varies and is not dependent on gender identity.

Transition – This term is primarily used to refer to the process a gender variant person undergoes when changing their bodily appearance either to be more congruent with the gender/sex with which they identify and/or to be in harmony with their preferred gender expression.

Transmasculine – 1. A term used to describe those who were assigned female at birth, but identify as more male than female. 2. Those who identify as transmasculine, as opposed to simply as FTM or a man identify more closely with maleness than femaleness, and generally desire a physical appearance that reflects this identification, but do not identify as wholly male or as a man. It should be noted that transmasculine is not a descriptor of gender expression but of identity. Transmasculine people do not necessarily have to be stereotypically masculine in their interests or even presentation.

Trans Man – An identity label sometimes adopted by female to male trans people to signify that they are men while still affirming their transgender history.

Trans Woman – An identity label sometimes adopted by male to female trans people to signify that they are women while still affirming their transgender history.

Transphobia – The irrational hatred of those who are transgender or gender non-conforming, sometimes expressed through violent and sometimes deadly means.

Transsexual – A person who identifies psychologically as a gender/sex other than the one to which they were assigned at birth. Transsexuals often wish to transform their bodies hormonally and surgically to match their inner sense of gender/sex.

Two-Spirit – A Native American term for people who blend the masculine and the feminine. It is commonly used to describe individuals who historically crossed gender. It is often used by contemporary LGBTQIA Native American people to describe themselves.

Versatile – A person who is both a ‘Top’ and a ‘Bottom;’ there may or may not be a preference for one or the other. Also known as ‘Switch.’

Ze / Hir – Alternate pronouns that are gender neutral. Pronounced /zee/ and /here/, they replace “he”/”she” and “his”/”hers” respectively.

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbt community #gay #lesbian #biseual #bi #transgender #trans #trans male #trans female #queer #nonbinary #intersex #pansexual #pan #gender queer

[gentlemanjohncs]

What is in the name? Sombo

What is in the name? By: John CS Lehmann

The martial art of Sombo has suffered in the United States for several reasons. The main reasons Sombo suffers to be recognized in this country is because of the legal repercussions that happened in the 1970’s-80’s, this article is to highlight some of disparities this martial art has suffered. So what is in the name SAMBO; well SAMBO is an acronym that is SAMozaschita Bez Orujiya which is translated into English as “Self-defense without weapons”. This is not harmful in Russia however the term Sambo is America is extremely derogatory.

Sombo was growing in the United States in the 1970’s. So much so that the sport was recognized by the Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) and sanctioned events were taking place in America.   This was also taking place when the hotbed of civil rights movement was starting to take action against anti-African American sentiments. This is where cultures collided in America, a Russian acronym SAMBO was interpreted as being the same as the Sambo. This term Sambo comes from the book “Little Black Sambo” written by Helen Bannerman in 1899. This original book had several drawn pictures that are seen as derogatory and demeaning to African American’s and this gave way to several other forms of art that were eventually called “darky Iconography” in popular media. The art from this original text led to the images of black minstrels blowing on jugs and strumming banjos, images such as these became a focal point for the civil rights movement to juxtapose. This book has been banned from all American public libraries to this date.  

The civil rights movement opened the doors for lawsuits that impinged against the image of African American’s. Some examples of companies that had been effected by the lawsuits that ensued after the being of the civil rights movement are Walt Disney and Sambo’s Restaurant. This is not a complete list however this will show you how social change altered the business practices of two large businesses. Walt Disney had released a movie titled “Song of the South” this is where the premise of the movie revolved around slavery and placed African American’s in an uncomplimentary position in the Disney universe. So as the civil rights movement moved forward from the 1960’s into the 1970’s Disney began slowly retracting this product from American shelves. Disney to this day has not released this movie to DVD do to the legal repercussions that could ensue. Sambo’s Restaurant theme was based on the book written by Helen Bannerman the mascot was based on the lead character from Bannerman’s book featuring a little African American boy and a Tiger. This companies name and choice of imagery landed this Sambo’s restaurant in court. The court case caused severe damages to the company causing the company to either close their locations or sell the remaining businesses. Those remaining businesses are known as Denny’s today.

Sombo was first promoted by FILA to an international market in the Early 1970’s. The first FILA Sombo committee chairman was Burt Jacob a British sportsman. It in fact was Burt Jacobs that had discussed the spelling of “Sambo” as being negative in nature. Sombo was spelled by Burt Jacobs with a “C” which would make it CAMBO however this did not translate well into English where the “C” sound can either be spoken with a soft “S” as in the word France or a hard “K” like the popular cheese and pretzel snack Combos® which sounds like “Kombos”.  

The AAU was under scrutiny for using the term SAMBO for their tournaments so after several sessions with lawyers the AAU had arrived to the decision to call SAMBO: SOMBO. This was to rectify the semantics to match the American moral conduct of best business practices.

In 1972 the first World Sombo Championships took place in Teheran, Iran. Then in 1975 Sombo was introduced to America via the AAU wrestling committee which was then the National Governing Body (NGB) for Wrestling in the United States. The AAU established a Sombo committee to oversee Sombo in the United States. Bobby Douglas the famed Silver Medalist as President, Ivan Olsen as Vice President and Josh Henson as Secretary. Sombo in the United States separated from FILA and USA Wrestling which is the National Governing Body of Wrestling in the United States. “On August 20, 1982, Federal Judge Ann Aldrich ordered the WD/AAU to resign from, and sever all ties with, FILA, and to resign from the Olympic Committee. USOC was ordered to terminate its recognition of the AAU as its Group A member… From both of the old rivals, it lost a substantial number of diehards who simply could not force themselves to cooperate with old enemies.”

Sombo was again thrown into political a quagmire causing its founding AAU panel at odds with the now NGB of wrestling USA Wrestling due to in fighting and bad blood in the wrestling community.

In the early 1980’s FILA had pulled expert opinions from Russian University language specialists, which easily came to a conclusion that Sombo should be used instead of transliterating the Acronym to English which could cause literary heartache and misrepresents the phonetic pronunciation. The name Sombo was adopted in both England and America because it is phonetically proper when spoken in English and allows English speaking countries to skirt the negative connotations the name Sambo has.  

#combatsombo sambo #russian #america #truthbetold

[clonerightsagenda]

A lot of the fic I write involves people reckoning with past selves erased by trauma or alternate versions of the people they could’ve been but honestly I think I peaked there with Davesprite decking Dave in the face. After that what more is there to say on that theme really

#recognition of the self via the self (derogatory) #most of my postgame HS fic can be boiled down to #people struggling to figure out who they are outside an environment that defined them #was that influenced by me transitioning into adulthood at that time? probably #but it's a theme I remain interested in #partly bc that's the point where a lot of media stops