Normalize disliking people and avoiding them without starting a conflict and insisting that they're bad people. You don't actually need to be able to call someone toxic and abusive in order to justify that you're not vibing with them.
it's okay to mourn the person you could have been. it's okay to be angry or resentful at that lost potential. it's okay to be sad about it too. but i want you to know that there are so many parts of you, the you that exists right now, that are beautiful and lovely and meaningful. just because your past is lost doesn't mean your future has to be too.
The truth is, sometimes you will hurt people. Sometimes, you will hurt people, and then life will move on, and you won’t have any way to apologize, or make up for it. But, your past mistakes do not define who you are now. You are allowed to move on without guilt haunting you over things you might have done years ago. You are allowed to come to terms with the things you did that were wrong, to change, and to grow from those experiences; you will never be stuck in one spot if you will yourself to own up to it, pull yourself up, and start again.
when i’m depressed, i tend to forget things. like the times i hugged someone and they hugged back tighter, the times i couldn’t stop laughing and smiling from ear to ear. the thoughtful compliments i received, the genuine looks of surprise and joy i helped put on someone’s face, and the days where nothing important really happened, but i felt happy. but forgetting these things doesn’t mean they never happened. they existed once, and they’re proof that even though i haven’t felt myself for a while, some days in my life can be pretty nice, and there will be more days like that in the future.
For everyone with social anxiety, this is a reminder that you don't have to be perfect in your interactions with others; you just have to be kind and that's literally it. That's all that's necessary of you. You don't need to say the perfect thing or anticipate what they would want you to say or even exude confidence if you can't.
Social anxiety tells us that we have to be perfect in in our social interactions, but no one is. Social anxiety sets us up for a level of expectation in our social interactions that we have no choice but to fail at, and then fall into a cycle of self-hate for failing and striving even harder for perfection.
You’re most powerful when you honor your own rhythm. If your circadian rhythm is nocturnal, don’t follow those “waking up at 4 am changed my life” routines because they’re not for you. If you function best when you focus on a single task, single job, single goal, then working half a dozen sidehustles may not be for you. Honor your own rhythm, work with it instead of against it, and you will achieve so much more than if you blindly follow what’s considered “correct” by social conventions of the time.
Don't get sucked into the "if they really cared I wouldn't have to say something" spiral. No matter how close you are with someone, it's unfair to expect them to know things you haven't actually communicated.
i know it's hard to believe right now, but there is more to life than sadness and trauma and mental illness. there is love and joy and hope and so much more. there's so many incredibly beautiful little things to find happiness in every day you're alive, even if things aren't good right now. there are always sunsets to admire and movies to watch and dogs to pet. i know that life is hard, but it's full of incredible things in the everyday, things that tell you that you will be okay, that there is love always.
Many relationships would be a lot healthier if we romanticized honest, open and direct communication instead of idealizing the idea of a partner who's intuitively in tune with your every need. You don't need someone who can read your mind, you just need someone who's willing to listen when you speak.
friendly reminder no one is worth destroying yourself over. doesn’t matter how happy they’ve made you, how long you’ve known them, how cute they are, how sweet they can be. if you’re constantly crying yourself to sleep over them and feeling invalidated and having to blame yourself or make up excuses for them, not worth it. not worth it now. not worth it in the long run.
Nobody else is watching you the way you're watching yourself. No one is evaluating or judging you like you're evaluating and judging yourself. Everyone else is far too preoccupied with their own flaws and struggles to scrutinize your every move. Find peace in this.