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#red haired michael fuck
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Big fan of these guys
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venln · 1 year
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Caboose u were my first favorite character when I watched rvb. I am holding ur hand eternally
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phantompoguefangirl · 11 months
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I am dead.
I can't stop laughing.
This might be one of my favorite Michael moments ever.
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h0n3yk1tt3n · 2 years
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Not elaborating
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You have no idea how much it trips me up that our color choices for the squad are basically exact EXCEPT that rich and jake are swapped
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rae-writes · 3 months
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An Angel?
om demons x reader (+Simeon, Solomon, Mephi, Raph)
wc : 2.k
warnings : more simping bois, more humor, a lot more sprinkles of suggestive comments
synopsis : a deviltok trend has the boys on their knees for you, part two: electric boogaloo
a/n : for the record, Luke was in the room while Mc was making it, cheering them on, doing his cute little “Waahhh!” // idea brought to me by the lovely [your-next-daydream]​ // AND, as usual, let’s not talk about how ridiculously long this took me to finish ahaha rip me-
demon ver. 
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<Simeon> Mc looks rather...heavenly, don’t you agree? 
[attachment sent] 
Intrigued, he wasted no time in clicking on the file, grinning when he realized it was one of your deviltoks. Decked out in your RAD uniform, you sat in a chair with your hands clasped together. 
“Who are you?” 
Smoothly, almost as if you were floating, you stood and took a few steps towards the camera with a rather shy smile. 
“An angel.” 
You bowed ever so slightly, flitting your gaze to the floor. 
“What’s your name?”
You spun suddenly, sending your red accessory swooshing in front of the camera, covering everything from view. 
“Michael.”
As fast as the transition happened, it ended; the view was cleared to reveal you— angelic down to a T and beautiful wasn’t even enough to describe you. 
You were adorned with sheer, white clothing that was loose and flowy, probably swaying due to a fan that was off camera. Light blue accents were scattered here and there- including an extension piece in your hair of the same color. Sparkling gold accessories glinted under the light, but not as much as the halo that hovered above your head. It was a gorgeous molten gold tint, partly transparent with glitter floating around inside (with a few cracks decorating the outside of it). It only brought attention to the snowy wings spanning out behind you, flecks of iridescent scattered amongst the feathers. 
[9 people saved a video attachment]
Lucifer
Ah. Yes. He’s not combusting on the inside, not at all. 
*insert internal screaming*
Ahem. Now that his jaw has been picked up off the floor, he is immediately wondering how the fuck Simeon of all people got access to the video before him
Don’t get him wrong though, he is on the way right now- leave the door open, Mc
He has to put his marks all over your body to get rid of the fact that you looked that pretty while using Michael’s name
Possessive urges aside, please keep the outfit on
Does not care if you’re dressed up like an Angel, he will gladly corrupt you
In fact, he wants to corrupt you- let him see that pact mark of his while you look so angelic, yeah?
might be into role playing it if you’d like
Mammon
Blinks a couple times before looking around slowly; poor boy really thought he’d been yeeted back to the celestial realm for a minute there
It’s all quiet before suddenly everyone in the house (and probably outside) hears “HOLY FUCK WHAT”
You never cease to amaze him, by the devils, is he in love 
The blush on his face- if he was anything other than a demon- would look severely concerning. Like no, it’s not a red beacon of light, it’s just him coming through the halls
Is creepin outside ya door practically on his knees. Please let him in. His greed is flared and you’re the only cure even if you’re also the reason
He is dying to have a diy photo shoot of the two of you in your angel fit
Step on him. Do it- it’s the perfect angle, the shot comes out beautifully and he is putting it right in his wallet once it’s developed 
Will step on you in return if you ask
You’ll let him kiss all over your body, wontcha, Mc? (he’ll even be gentle with his fangs when he nibbles around that golden necklace you’ve got on)
Levi
*cue his very nervous yet giddy laughter*
This is just like that anime he saw last week called ‘Help! My human s/o just turned into an Angel but I’m a demon and actually kind of into this?!” 
Seriously though, you look so beautiful, Levi was immediately down in the floor with his face covered and tail wagging 
Please allow 3-4 business months before he can recover 
Jk lol he’s hovering in your doorway before you you can even click on his contact
Shyly asks if he can touch your halo and wings (and ends up with his tail wrapped around you, knocking you side to side because it’s still attempting to wag) 
Unlike the eldest brother, Levi practically begs you to roleplay this with him and have a cosplay photoshoot 
Will shamelessly keep you to himself for the rest of the day and hiss at everyone who gets too close 
Please sit on him and call him mean names while also holding him sweetly 
Satan
Sign him tf up- he’s got a pen at the ready 
Irony aside, Satan thinks you look absolutely stunning— straight out of a fairy tale 
Irony not aside, Satan is actually so into this and craves to play it out with you
He was never an Angel to begin with, he was born a demon; just thinking about making your ivory wings turn black makes him excited 
Satan understands it’s just a simple spell you’ve casted so he won’t get too out of sorts (but if you like it, then what’s the harm?) 
Wants to read a forbidden love trope book and maybe act out some of the scenes while you’re still dressed like that 
The hopeless romantic in him is front and center the entire time
If you think he’s gonna let you go now, you’re sorely mistaken— let his brothers try and take you away 
He’s got tons of scenarios to act out if you can handle him 
Asmo
That weird high pitched sound you hear from across the house that should be something only dogs can hear? Yeah that’s Asmo squealing
Posting your video EVERYWHERE bc everyone needs to see how fucking gorgeous you look 
You can hear his footsteps from a mile away as he hurries to your room 
He MUST see your outfit in person ASAP
Azzy. Is. So. Fucking. Down. For. This. Shit. He thinks he’s dreamed about this once actually  
Please let him just examine every inch of you, he’s begging
Once again his camera is out and ready for a photoshoot and his demon form is out right alongside it 
He will be keeping you for the next 24-48 hours thanks
Beel
Choked. Again. 
Don’t be alarmed by the loud rumbling sound— it’s not Beel’s stomach for once, but instead a growl
He didn’t mean to make that sound but you just look so— and he just— and you��� and and— A a a A A 
Has that cute little blush plastered over his face all. day. 
Might be tempted- or actually try- to take a bite out of your halo or something else ifykyk
Rewatches the video at least ten times because you're just. Wow. Wow. W O W. 
Is now in the mood to eat some celestial realm food with you 
though his appetite is half for food and half for you 
Pls don’t mind his staring or the way he’s probably drooling a bit, he can’t help it :(
Belphie 
“...wait, what?”
Lays there staring at the ceiling for a moment bc PHEW you got him sweating and he hasn’t even moved yet-
Manages a straight face all the way until he enters your room and sees the outfits in person
To which he is, once again, dropping right at your feet with a look of ‘PLEASE’
He needs a whole ass minute or two to catch his breath from how fucking gorgeous you look and then he needs another whole ass minute or two to scan you over again
Please sit on him
Is uncharacteristically stuttering through every sentence— how can he possibly concentrate on stupid words in these [amazing] conditions?!
Gatekeeping you AGAIN
Underneath you the entire. time. 
Barbatos
*windows shutdown* 
*windows restart*
…aaand we’re back ladies and gentlemen and every cool dude in between but Barbatos is still fucking astonished— absolutely flabbergasted at how badly he’s got it for you
He dropped everything he was carrying in that moment and swiftly picked it back up, hoping no one saw
Diavolo saw. He recorded the entire thing and sent it to you, zooming in on Barbatos’ blush
There’s just something primal in him that makes him want to sink his teeth into you and coil his tail around your body so that you won’t be able to go anywhere else until he lets you
Everyone be damned, Barb will be having you to himself for the entire night
Will also run his fingers along the faux wings and halo before he absolutely ruins you until the magic dissipates
He is…totally normal about the entire thing..
Diavolo
His father help him— Diavolo is so incredibly thankful for the exchange program
Is OUT of the castle at mach speed before Barbatos can even say otherwise
And then he’s speeding right back and summoning you to him instead so he can have you to himself
Mans is kneeling at your fucking feet the second he lays eyes on you
And while it isn’t ‘proper’ for someone who wants unity between all three realms to want to corrupt you— 
—he does. So badly. He thinks he might even beg you for it 
Also wants to take a picture of the two of you with him in his demon form (it’s the it picture for weeks after he posts it)
Cannot stop looking at your halo; please let him touch it
(If you slowly begin altering your wings to bleed black, he’s practically foaming at the mouth—) 
bonus: 
Simeon
*sharp inhale* . . . *yeets halo*
He deadass forgets he’s an Angel himself for a few minutes bc he’s too busy simping fawning over you 
God who?? Like get tf outta the way, beep beep, archangel on a mission comin through 
Is begging as soon as he steps foot through your door. Please, please let him touch you and explore— he should be ashamed with how unabashed he is but fuck look at you 
Will let his own wings out just so you can compare your angels forms (melted on the spot when you brushed your wings against his)
Honestly can’t decide if he wants you to corrupt him or if he wants to corrupt you…or both at the same time
He’s not sharing you. Not now. Not like this. 
You may look like an angel, and he may be an angel, but he won’t treat you like one tonight 
If you do the fancy trick of letting your wings turn black, he’s completely bowing down to whatever you wish right then and there 
Solomon
Kinda forgot he was immortal for a split second and wondered if he’d either died or accidentally traveled to the celestial realm
Gains his bearings rather quickly, but the hold you have on him is still very much there
And he’d like you to have a hold around his throat— what? Who said that??
His pretty little blush where he averts his eyes all nervously? YEAH THAT
He’s taken aback for a couple moments before his usual shit eating grin comes back but that blush? Still there. 
Backs you against a wall, in a corner, and let’s his hands roam with a small laugh, quietly asking how you manage to make him lose composure so easily 
Is so soft and sweet for a minute before his eyes darken and that SEXY smirk crawls onto his face
Plucks that halo right from above your head and tosses it behind his shoulder because how could he possibly do what he has planned if you’re an angel?
Makes your wings bloom black himself (and challenges how long you can handle him)
extra little bonus: 
Mephisto 
Simply raises a brow and wonders why the hell his body got so hot all the sudden 
Ignores the video for a couple hours until he realizes he can’t stop fucking thinking about it 
Promptly decides he’s going to go straight to you and demand how dare you invade his thoughts like this 
And then promptly decides he’d rather just revert to using his hands instead when the sight of you makes his mouth dry and water at the same time
Will take it upon himself, right then, to corrupt you
Because there’s no way in the seven rings of hell he’s letting you switch sides and he’ll break the magic you’re using as proof
After though *cough cough* he will bashfully tell you how gorgeous you looked…
Raphael
Let me tell you, mans was not ready 
Like if you’ve seen the video of the person with a stacked ass on the stretcher being carried by and the news reporter’s face afterwards, that’s Raphael. 
Luke takes a picture of his expression and makes a meme
Won’t address it until the very next day, stiffly telling you that your outfit was very pleasing to the eye (he thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous, okay, he’s just struggling)
If you offer to show him in person, he is ascending right back home. Won’t deny, though. Like please do. 
In awe for the whole experience 
And blushes an alluring deep shade if you show him some ‘corruption’ tricks you have up your sleeve
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hello friend here is a potential lil thing for you: kas!eddie who’s a Good Boy for steve but is still growly at the others (think ‘it don’t bite’ ‘bitch yeS IT DOES’) (it’s a wip, steve is trying his best)
this ended up a lot...sweeter than i intended? and i'm not too sure about the ending but i had to stop it there or i'd end up trying to write a full fic (≧∀≦)ゞ hope you enjoy, friend!!
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“And he’s here because?”
Steve pats Eddie’s head when he hands the paprika over, smiling at his goofy (and fanged) little grin. He starts to sprinkle the spices over the pan, not even looking over his shoulder to reply, “He likes to help me cook.”
There’s a long moment of silence so Steve switches off the heat and turns around, thanking Eddie when he gives him a dishcloth to wipe his hands with. When he looks back to the group seated at the island, he has to blink to register all their faces of disbelief.
“You took our Dungeon Master,” Mike starts patiently, which Steve will give him credit for. “Who has been accused of several crimes and then got turned into a terrifying, awesome bat-man with, like, wings and teeth and shit -”
Steve could have sworn Mike used to be better at description whenever they play their sessions.
“And you’ve turned him into your sous-chef?”
Blinking, Steve looks to Eddie, who gives him a preening smile and takes the dishcloth away, and looks back to Mike, whose face is getting paler every second. “Uh,” he shrugs. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Steve, I swear by all that is -”
Mike’s tirade is cut off by a growl and Steve lets out a sigh. “Hey,” he admonishes, nudging the rumbling bat-man with his elbow. “We talked about this, no growling at the kids.”
Eddie huffs and ducks his head down to bap his forehead against Steve’s shoulder. He moves his head from side to side so he’s basically rubbing his forehead into Steve and wisps of Eddie's hair brush against his neck, making Steve bite back a laugh.
Clearly, Eddie caught that and rubbed even harder into Steve’s shoulder until he broke into laughter, black eyes glancing up at him with a mischievous smile.
“You were right.”
Steve looks over to see Dustin staring at Mike’s fuming red face, deadpan. Eddie pauses.
“He’s tamed him.”
“What?” Steve sputters, choking out a laugh when Eddie moves in closer to nuzzle at his neck, hair now tickling at his nose. “Who tamed who?”
Mike sneers. “It’s whom, dumbass -”
And just like that, Steve is being held tightly against Eddie, who hisses at Mike. Thankfully, he's used to it by now and just rolls his eyes.
“Whatever.”
“Eds,” Steve pats the hand on his chest that presses him into Eddie. "It's okay, he's just having a Michael Moment."
"What the fuck did you just -"
Of course, the little shit can't keep his mouth shut and that just aggravates Eddie even further and well, time for damage control.
"No," Steve says firmly to Eddie, who blinks and stares at him. He then turns to the kids and points a finger at them. "What did we say about name-calling?"
"Bite me -"
"Dude," Lucas, golden child that he is, shakes his head and shoves at Mike's head. "Just shut up and eat your muffin."
"Thank you, Lucas," Steve grins and Eddie huffs, still holding Steve tightly against him. With a fond sigh, Steve wiggles around and manages to face Eddie, smiling at his fanged pout. "Thank you for trying to protect me, Eds."
It's something he started doing after a few days hiding out at Steve's place. At first, he was wary and would hiss whenever Steve got too close, only letting Dustin in his space, only really caring about Dustin at all. And it wasn't...unpleasant, Steve would rather he care about the kid more than anyone else than not at all. It did make cleaning him up difficult but having Dustin sit with him and ramble about whatever the hell he could seemed to help.
Then Dustin had to leave and it was just them.
And then Steve, eventually, figured out it was like trying to befriend a scared cat. Obviously, Eddie was terrified and just needed some time, space and a little bribery to adjust to the new...everything that he was.
So with some of that time and space, Steve got a chance to make his way into Eddie's exceptions and barely gets hissed at anymore, unless it's playful. Sometimes Steve hisses back, and the first time caught Eddie so off-guard that he held Steve down while sniffing around, like he was looking for whatever made the sound.
It made Steve laugh but just confused Eddie, so he did his best to imitate Eddie's chirp, the one he does whenever Dustin asks a question, and Eddie was so flabbergasted that he started chirping back without a thought. He looked half-insulted at the fact and that just set Steve off again.
Once Eddie figured out it was Steve making the noises, he got so excited that he'd always chirp at him, jumping into Steve's space and doing goofy things to make him laugh. It'd always work, duh, cause Eddie's a funny guy, even when he's half-Upside-Down-monster.
He also ended up liking Steve so much that he gets pretty overprotective, which - it's sweet, it makes Steve feel wiggly, but they're still working on who exactly Steve (and Dustin) need protecting from.
That one time when Eddie growled at Nancy for elbowing Steve would be hilarious if it wasn't so terrifying.
...It was pretty funny though.
"This is terrible." Mike says, and Will lets out a sigh. Mike gapes at him and throws his hands in Steve's general direction. "You can see how this is terrible, right?!"
"Brat," Eddie croaks under his breath, right next to Steve's ear and he doesn't even bother holding back, breaking into a bout of laughter that has him clenching at his stomach for relief. He can feel Eddie's excitement buzzing under his skin, right where his cheek rests against Steve's. "Snooty brat."
"Is he saying something?" Dustin asks excitedly and Steve has to wave him off half-heartedly, still reeling from the pain of laughing too hard. Dustin then sounds deadpan again as he says, "Oh, he's talking shit about us, isn't he?"
"Ressspect your elderrrrrs," Eddie hisses into the air with a grin and god damn, the look of pure devastation on Dustin's face -
"The first words he speaks to us since turning Demo-Eddie and it's about being respectful." Dustin hides his face in his hands. "What has the world become?"
"He gets his dramatics from you," Steve says to Eddie, who looks back at him smugly and nudges his nose into Steve's face. "Ow, hey, watch it -"
"Getsss hisss courrage f'om you," Eddie presses his lips to Steve's cheek and -
Huh.
Well.
That's new.
Wait -
"Oh my god," Steve stares at Eddie, who preens under the attention. "I have a monster boyfriend."
The kitchen breaks out into chaos and all Steve can think about is how pretty Eddie's eyes are when he's smiling.
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illusioninfnty · 7 months
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kinktober 2023 masterlist
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1st — pegging. jack mercer
2nd — choking. marc spector
3rd — quickie. samantha giddings
4th — cockwarming. "red-haired" shanks
5th — nipple play. alicent hightower
6th — dry humping. monkey d. luffy
7th — face fucking. simon “ghost” riley
8th — almost getting caught. joel miller
9th — size difference. jim hopper
10th — breeding kink. harwin strong
11th — mutual masturbation. ethan landry
12th — public sex. billy hargrove
13th — mommy kink. brahms heelshire
14th — face sitting. john price
15th — keeping quiet. billy loomis & stu macher
16th — toys. nami
17th — thigh riding. santa, "nikamund the red"
18th — orgasm control. rhaenrya targaryen
19th — 69ing. emily davis
20th — cock worship. rafe cameron
21st — spitroasting. roronoa zoro & vinsmoke sanji
22nd — hate fucking. matthias helvar
23rd — virginity loss. bo sinclair
24th — primal play. mike munroe
25th — humiliation. vinsmoke sanji
26th — sensory deprivation. chris redfield
27th — cuckolding. michael myers
28th — dubcon. jacob custos
29th — somnophilia. roronoa zoro
30th — corruption. dani
31st — sex pollen. buggy the clown
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welcome to my very first kinktober! buckle up and enjoy the ride!
@gogogodzilla and I are doing the same kinks, if you want to check their fics out too :)
if you prefer to read on ao3, the link to the series is here
see you soon...
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disneyprincemuke · 4 months
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the schumacher problem * femdriver
pairings: mick schumacher x femdriver, logan sargeant x femdriver, oscar piastri x femdriver
notes: hi i skipped 2022 cause i was too lazy to write it <3
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-> 2020
“come here, we need to introduce you to some people.”
“if you’re gonna jump scare me like that one time with david beckham. i’m not going to stand there like an idiot again. i’ve practiced and grown.”
“no, fuck face. we’re introducing you to your team next year. you know… prema? the team giving you a fighting chance in motorsport?”
“i will kick you out of my house, you know.”
“guys, this is the best friend we keep talking about!” oscar beams, jumping over to grab her wrist. he pulls her away from logan and puts a hand on her back, urging her to step forward. “she’s joining prema next year for her f3 career.”
“right, hi,” she smiles with a small nod. she takes a step back and one more towards oscar. “i’m really excited to work with you guys.”
“oh, hey! we’ve met before.” frederik steps forward and smiles. “at one of oscar and logan’s races.”
“how come i’ve never met her before?” a disembodied voice makes her lean slightly forward to peek over oscar’s shoulder. a wide smile and a pair of blue eyes are now looking at her. “you guys are hiding her from me or something?”
“yeah, mate. because we totally keep her in a dungeon cause she's not allowed other friends but us,” logan scoffs. he puts a hand on her back and pushes her a step forward. “you know mick, don’t you, (y/n)? schumacher.”
her back straightens. “oh. the schumacher?” she whispers, turning to logan with wide eyes. “like the man, the myth, the legend: michael schumacher’s son? mick schumacher?”
oscar raises an eyebrow. “i told you we were in prema with mick. what is wrong with you?”
“i don’t know. what do i say to him?”
“mate, i thought you said you practiced?” logan snorts, one hand over his mouth to contain his laughter. “why are you freezing up now?”
“nepotism goes kinda hard. i’m a big fan of him and his dad. this is not the same as the david beckham situation.”
“you’re kinda cute, aren’t you?”
simultaneously, the three best friends turn their head to the german with his head tilted to the side. “me?” she asks, pointing a finger to her chest. she looks around for any other person he could be talking about before settling to look at him again. “you think i’m cute?”
“pretty sure,” frederik smiles with a nod. “it would be kind of awkward if he was talking about oscar, right?”
oscar shrugs. “my girlfriend tells me i’m pretty cute.”
“not the same, dude,” logan mutters. he looks down at her and smacks her shoulder. “hey, snap out of it!”
frederik glances at mick, whose smile has grown a lot more since the redness on her cheeks crept up and she’s resigned to hiding behind oscar’s shoulder. he’s just about to say something when another figure walking into the room catches his attention.
frederik beams and throws his arm up into the air. he grabs her shoulders and forces her to turn around. “oh, robert’s over there! robert! we want you to meet somebody!”
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“hey, great qualifying run.” she turns around and unclips her helmet.
“oh, mick,” she smiles with a nod. she puts her helmet between her legs and fixes her hair. “thank you. i didn’t know you were watching — i thought you were preparing for your own race.”
“i had some extra time,” mick smiles at her. he points to the helmet. “do you need some help? i can help you with that.”
“no, it’s ok-“ she smiles when mick presses his lips into a thin line. “yeah, i need some help. thank you.”
she reaches between her legs and offers mick her helmet. he takes into her hands and steps back, gesturing towards the end of parc ferme.
“so, uh,” she sighs, looking around. “where’s oscar?”
“getting ready for the race.”
“so why aren’t you doing the same?” she shrieks, brushing her hands through her hair. she tries to untangle her hair as they walk. “complacent?”
“not complacent. i know i’m good,” mick grins with a soft giggle. “anyway, are you doing anything tonight? um, after the race?”
she hums, brushing all of her hair over to one shoulder. “ice cream with logan and oscar.”
“you quite like your ice cream, it seems. i heard you guys always get ice cream after your races,” mick grins. “what’s your favourite flavour?
“rocky road with marshmallows.”
“but doesn’t rocky road already have marshmallows?”
“yeah.”
“interesting.”
“it’s really good. if you want, you can join us tonight. i’m sure they don’t mind.”
"really? are you sure?"
"yeah! then tell me your verdict on my favourite ice cream pairing. you'll love it, i swear."
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"good luck on your race!"
logan looks up from his phone, scowling slightly at the driver in red standing outside the garage. he raises an eyebrow, watching her beam and walk over towards the entrance.
"hey, mick," she laughs, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "wow, i'm starting to see you a lot in my garage. i'd say it's becoming a habit."
"just wanted to wish you luck in person," mick smiles, leaning against the wall. he folds his arms over his chest and leans his weight on one leg as he looks down at her. "confident to make it into the top 10?"
"hopefully. i'm feeling good today," she nods, wide eyes staring up at mick. she has her hands clasped behind her back as she converses with the older driver. "who knows? i might even win the race."
"oh, definitely. i'll be rooting for you."
"thanks, i need that." she takes a step back. "i need to finish my race prep. i'll see you right before your race? the least i can do is wish you luck in person too, since you came all this way."
"okay. make sure you're there - else, i won't start my race without your luck."
she laughs, stepping back and waving as the german walks away. she turns around with a roll of her eyes and a giddy grin on her face. logan, having watched the entire interaction not too far from them, has put his phone down on his lap.
"you know he likes you," logan says, pointing a finger at her. she looks down at him, clueless clearly written all over her face. "you know that, right? there's no way you don't know that."
she hums, raising her eyebrows and then furrowing them. "what are you talking about?"
"he literally has an f2 race to prep for and he walked all the way here to wish you luck," logan explains, unsure of how she's oblivious to the fact. "he could have just texted you. he has your number, doesn't he?"
"i don't think it's as deep as you make it out to be, logan," she shrugs. "you would've done the same."
"yeah, but we literally have been racing against one another for years. we live together!" logan throws his head back, smacking his forehead in frustration. "that's different!"
she presses her lips together and looks off into the distance. "i don't think it's that serious, mate."
logan just shrugs, sinking into his seat as he rolls his eyes. "whatever you wanna believe."
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"hey, wait up!"
oscar turns his head before her, raising an eyebrow as he watches mick run towards them with something in his hands. "hey?" oscar mutters in confusion.
"hi," mick greets him quickly, before turning to the girl standing next to him. "i was at the interview table and they were giving out popsicles. i thought you might appreciate it more than me."
she looks down at it. "oh, thank you. are you sure? i mean... mick... this is yours."
"i don't really like popsicles," mick shrugs, continuing to offer her the cold refreshment. "it's grape. it's really good."
"if it's really go-"
"just take it."
"alright," she nods, taking the popsicle into her hands hesitantly. "do you want something in return? i've got a twix bar in my bag, but it's-"
"i'll see you later! i have an interview i'm late for, actually. just wanted to give you that," mick says hurriedly. he pats her shoulder before he turns and darts off from the direction he initially came from.
she slowly turns to look at oscar, who's got an equally confused stare, looking down at her with a small scowl on his face. "what was that about?"
oscar shrugs. "i don't know, but you should eat that popsicle before it starts melting."
the resume their walk in silence, not fully processing the event that happened too quick for them to consume. she's eating the popsicle now, eyes still squinted in confusion.
"i've been looking for popsicles everywhere and no one can tell me where to get one! everyone in the prema garage has one for some reason," logan screams, approaching her with his hands on his hips. "where did you get yours? why do you have one? is this a sick prank someone is pulling on me?"
she shrugs. "mick gave this to me."
logan slumps his shoulders. "mick gave that to you?"
"yeah," she nods. "interview table or something, he said."
"i was just there! there were no popsicles there!"
oscar looks between his best friends as he sports a growing smile. slowly, he starts bubbling with laughter, clutching his stomach as he points at her. "oh, my god! you're so stupid!"
"what?"
"mick has a crush on you!" oscar screams. "you've got the epitome of nepotism crushing on you! that's so cute!"
"that's what i told her like weeks ago!" logan points out. "give me that popsicle - i deserve it more than you do."
"oh, piss off!" she screams, swiftly running behind oscar and swatting logan's hands away from her. "i'm sure there's a freezer filled with popsicles in the garage somewhere. you'll find yours."
"no way! mick definitely has a stash dedicated for you! i've only seen red popsicles. i want the grape one!" logan runs around oscar, eager to take the popsicle in the younger girl's hands. "give it to me - he'll give you another one!"
-> 2021
"hey, congrats on the podium."
"thank you- oh, mick! don't you have your debut race to be preparing for?"
"i just wanted to drop by and congratulate you," mick grins. he steps back, scanning her new look in the red race suit he used to sport as well. "red looks good on you."
"it does, doesn't it?" she smiles, twirling with her arms stretched out. "i have to admit - i'm not sure haas colours are yours."
"hey. that's mean."
"maybe i'm just not used to it," she shrugs. she swings her helmet in her hands. "can i watch the race from your garage? you reckon gunther would let me?"
mick laughs, waving off her concerns. "of course, he loves you! just meet me in the garage when you're done? i'll get you a spot."
"okay!"
she waves as he turns to walk away, making one last comment about how he'll be waiting for her before disappearing into the crowd.
"oi, fuck face."
"will it kill you to be nice to me for once, logan?"
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"are you sure about this?" she raises her eyebrows, looking down at the white car with her lips pressed together. "what if i crash this? it's your car."
"don't think so much about it," mick shrugs, hands on his hips as he watches her clutch onto her helmet for dear life. "it's just another car. you've driven an f1 car before, haven't you?"
"once during crash testing. that's not the same!"
"not much of a difference." mick pushes her towards the car and grins. "come on, free practice is about to start. get inside - i didn't beg gunther for nothing."
she looks at him from the corner of her eyes. "okay, but if i crash, don't hold it against me."
"i did kinda force you to test drive my car. no hard feelings if you crash," mick shrugs. "just don't die."
"oh, we'll see about that last part," she sighs, pulling her helmet down her head. "i think about that often - you know, cause i've lived with oscar and logan for like almost half of my life at this point."
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"oh, you're leaving the paddocks alone tonight? did the powerpuff trio get into a fight or something?" mick teases, catching up to her as she taps her card against the reader.
"no, um," she laughs, "lily is in town for oscar and logan's got a date. no way i'm third-wheeling oscar and lily tonight."
mick nods, pressing his lips together. in his head, gears are already turning in his head. true, he finds her cute. but it's not like he can do anything.
she seems very dead set on her racing career.
"i don't actually have anything planned for tonight," he clears his throat. he takes a deep breath, unsure of how she will take his offer. "do you maybe wanna grab some dinner? there's this restaurant nearby that seb always raves about."
he sighs in relief when her face lights up. "really? can we get ice cream too? i was gonna drop by this store near my hotel and eat it while i watch a show - i always have ice cream after my race. i'm not stopping today."
"yeah, there's this ice cream parlour close by," mick nods. actually, he looked into spots in the area when he saw oscar leaving the paddocks with lily and logan rushing to leave by himself 20 minutes ago.
he had it all planned out. "so, what do you say?" he lifts up his car keys. "you can drive if you want."
she gasps, reaching out for the car keys in his hands. "seriously? i get to drive your super expensive car that i know, for a fact, you never let anyone else drive?"
mick nods. "is that a yes?"
she nods excitedly, hopping slightly as she follows him towards where his car is parked. she puts her hand on the door handle right before she goes in. "you must like me if you're letting me drive your car."
he laughs nervously, eyes widening as he opens the door from the passenger side. it seems that she's catching on somehow. "get in before i change my mind."
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"what the hell are you guys doing?"
her and mick, sitting with their backs against the bed frame, merely inches away from the small screen of her nintendo switch in the cramped hotel room turns to the kiwi at the entryway of her hotel room. they've got controllers in their hands, focused on the game on the tiny screen.
"i'm beating mick at mario kart."
"not true," mick mutters. "i'm letting her win after she cried about retiring from her race today."
"you cried?" logan throws his head back, pushing past liam and oscar who are further into the room. he slips his shoes off before jumping on her bed. "are you okay?"
"i didn't cry. i had something in my eye and now mick is telling everyone i cried," she scoffs. "also, i'm beating him fair and square."
"well, uh," liam trails off, holding up two bags. "we got the alcohol you asked us to get on the way back from the track. sorry for your dnf, mate."
"yeah, whatever," she mutters.
"i was talking to mick."
"oh, ok."
"i'm used to it," mick shakes his head. "hey, stop pushing me! you're cheating!"
"it's a power-up!"
"you're pushing me in real life, mate!"
oscar has already hopped over her bed, rummaging her suitcase in silence. "where's the extra controllers? i wanna play too."
liam looks at logan with a small smile, seeing that their friends would be busy with other matters. "tequila?"
logan glances at the pair sitting with their shoulders touching, shoving each other periodically to throw one another off from their game. he looks at liam. "a full shot."
-> 2023
"don't you have a mercedes to be with?" she teases as the door opens, chewing on the inside of her cheek as the german stands at the door. "what are you doing here?"
mick raises an eyebrow. "you literally crashed. i just wanted to see if you're okay."
she smiles. "thank you. i'm okay." she looks down and chomps down on her twix bar as mick takes the empty spot next to sebastian on the couch. "isn't toto looking for you?"
"no, he was asking me to check in on you," mick grins. "is there anything i can help you with? food, drinks, anything?"
"look at the food surrounding her," sebastian laughs, gesturing at the packets of snacks and drinks by her thighs. "i don't think she needs any more food than this."
mick looks at the older man. "i didn't ask you."
she giggles, rolling her eyes. "i'm okay, thank you." she grabs a packet of doritos not too far from her and extends her arm towards them. "snack while we wait for the doctor to come back with my results?"
mick nods, cupping his hands as he awaits the packet. "have oscar and logan come around to find you yet?"
"not yet. these are the ones sebastian brought me from my emergency stash in my garage."
"your what in your garage?"
sebastian sighs, nodding. "she has an emergency stash of snacks in the garage for emergencies. i guess she had a point when she did that because i didn't have to look far for those."
"interesting."
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"what are you two kids whispering about over there?"
she straightens her back from her hunched position in the corner, turning to sebastian with a small and guilty grin. the man in white next to her, also turns to him with wide eyes.
"hi, seb."
"what are you doing in our garage? shouldn't you be in mercedes with toto and susie?"
"i'm on my lunch break," mick smiles, wiping his lips from the brown residue of the chocolate they'd been indulging in previously. "i just brought her something."
sebastian narrows his eyes. "then why are you hiding it from me?"
"no reason," she shrugs, moving slightly towards mick to hide what's behind them from sebastian's sight. "you should go for your meeting, seb."
"you're being very suspicious. what's behind you?"
she shakes her head. "nothing." she looks up at mick and taps his hand. "tell him it's nothing."
"nothing," mick says immediately, pressing his lips into a thin line. "you don't wanna find out."
sebastian sighs. "you didn't bring her rocky road ice cream, did you?"
mick's eyes widen, a confession almost spilling past his lips at his guess. she quickly cuts him off and shakes her head profusely. "of course not! you and noah told me to stop eating ice cream before my races, so of course i'm not eating ice cream."
"i literally see chocolate at the corner of your lips."
"i'm sorry! she wouldn't stop texting me about craving for rocky road and marshmallows!" mick sighs in shame, dropping his head to avoid sebastian's stern stare.
"i told you to stop eating ice cream before a race! it gives you a tummy ache every time! what makes you think this time will be different?"
mick lifts his head with a proud smile. "it's lactose intolerant friendly."
"really?" she coos, turning to him with a bright smile. "that's so nice - where did you get that?"
"i found it in the store when george and i were-"
"stop giving her ice cream before her race!"
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she follows sebastian through the crowd, keeping her head low to avoid getting spotted by the cameras. she's got one last media commitment to head to before she can follow carlos and lando to the nightclub nearby.
hands grabs her shoulders, prompting her look up. "mick!"
"i've been looking for you everywhere!" mick smiles. "congrats on the podium!"
"thank you!" she smiles, wrapping her arms around him for a hug immediately. "you're joining us at the club after, right?"
"of course. congrats again, mate." he wraps his arms around her, squeezing her and twirling her around.
"kid, come on! we don't have time!" sebastian grunts, turning around to tug her out of mick's grasp. "talk to mick later!"
"okay, okay!" she shrieks, letting sebastian pull her away. she turns around to wave at mick. "i'll see you in the club! get me a drink, okay!"
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"i don't get it!" she shrieks, thumbs spamming the buttons of her controller as her eyes fill with tears. "what am i supposed to do?"
"no, just wash the dishes. i'm making the food," mick says calmly, jaw locked as he focuses on the item on the screen. "just wash the dishes."
"mate, are you stupid?" liam screams, one thumb pressing a button as he smacks oscar on the back. "we're losing to mick and (y/n)! we can't let that happen!"
"how about instead of screaming at me, mate, you actually chop up some stupid potatoes! this is why we're losing - you keep micromanaging me!" oscar screams at liam, finally losing his cool.
he had tried to play overcooked as calmly as mick, but it clearly isn't working when he is paired up with liam. logan, sitting at the table, fingers covered in glue with small tears of paper laid around him scoffs.
"thanks for the help, guys. i really appreciate that we're all working on the trophy for the race we're having this weekend," logan speaks monotonously.
"i'm not participating," oscar says.
"in a bit, lo," she mutters, smiling at him momentarily before returning her attention to the screen. "oh, mick, there's a fucking fire! did i cause that? how do i put it out?"
"calm down," mick laughs, his character running around to find the fire extinguisher. "i've got it. just keep washing the dishes."
"oscar! the fucking potatoes!"
"liam, you cunt, you haven't even thrown me a fucking potato! where is the potato? oh, would you look at that? it's in your hands!"
"yeah, i was gonna cut them myself cause you're as good as nothing in this stupid game! next game, i wanna be paired up with mick!"
"no way. i'm having the time of my life," mick scoffs, rolling his eyes as he sends in another order. "we're having so much fun, aren't we, (y/n)?"
"sure."
"what if we just didn't have a trophy for the scooter race?"
liam and her turn to the american, frowning. "no!"
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @vellicora @leilanixx @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology @cherry-piee @christianpulisic10 @elliegrey2803 @cashtons-wife @sadg3 @a10vely-yutazen @mellowarcadefun @glitterf1 @megatrilss1885 @peqch-pie @gentlyweeps-world @woozarts @inejismywife @meadhgbcavanagh @2bormaybenot @love4lando
honourable mention: @localwhoore
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irishmammonagenda · 2 months
Text
Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader
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Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.
post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)
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"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."
"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.
"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.
Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.
"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.
"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle
"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.
Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"
"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."
"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."
"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."
You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."
You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."
He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"
"Yeah?"
"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.
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Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.
After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.
In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.
One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.
You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.
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Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk
Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....
No fucking way.
Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.
After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.
You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.
Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.
You grabbed a crayon and began to write.
WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha
"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.
"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."
"Yessir."
You were a master conspiracy theorist.
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In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.
You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.
You know, the usual.
You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.
Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.
You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'
Michael opens the doors.
You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.
Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.
Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.
Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.
"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."
You shake your head.
"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"
You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."
"Are you sure we haven't met before?"
"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.
Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.
Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.
Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.
Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.
Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.
When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.
"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.
"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.
"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"
"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.
Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.
L.
You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.
"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."
Oh shit.
"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.
Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"
Shit.
"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.
This was getting awkward.
"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.
"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.
You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.
When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."
Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"
Michael clears his throat awkwardly.
You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."
Michael nods aggressively.
Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.
"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"
At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"
Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.
Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.
"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."
"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.
A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.
The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.
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You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!
Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.
You almost cackled.
Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.
Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"
You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."
You are such a good liar.
"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"
"Yes."
Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'
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After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.
He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,
"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.
You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"
Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.
"..MC?.."
You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"
You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.
Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.
Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."
You hug him just as tightly.
But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"
"Yes, my dove?"
"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"
"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."
You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."
Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"
"Try again in another century dear."
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The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.
Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"
In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."
A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.
Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.
Time to run away.
As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.
Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)
In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.
Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.
Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)
His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.
He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.
You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.
"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"
Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."
Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"
Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.
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Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.
"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"
You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.
It was on.
Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!
In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.
He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.
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Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.
You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)
Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.
"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.
Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.
You however know what you should do now.
Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.
You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.
It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.
On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)
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After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.
Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.
It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.
When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.
Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.
As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.
You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.
Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.
"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.
"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."
"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.
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After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.
Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.
As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.
You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.
"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.
He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.
Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."
You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.
You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.
"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.
"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.
"Of course."
After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.
A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.
A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.
Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"
Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"
Luke nods and gets up dutifully.
As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.
"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.
"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.
"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.
When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.
Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."
"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....
....for now.
You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.
Your list was now as follows:
Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.
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After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.
Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.
After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.
You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."
Bastard.
Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"
"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."
Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"
"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.
"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."
Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"
"Hmm?"
His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."
You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.
Bastard.
On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.
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Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.
´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.
Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.
You fucking caught them.
No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.
So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.
Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.
"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."
From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.
"Of course it's our best one yet!"
You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.
Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.
You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)
Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.
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House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:
it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.
note on their chests just in case.
Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.
Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.
Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally
Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.
As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.
As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.
"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"
"Hi!"
Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.
"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.
"I did. I just came back as an angel."
"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."
You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.
"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."
He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.
"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."
"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.
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House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie
Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.
Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.
Levi it was!
You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.
When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.
After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.
You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.
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House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie
It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!
As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.
It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.
He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.
He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.
"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"
"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.
It was a nice night.
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Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.
Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.
Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.
Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?
You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.
In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)
You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."
"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.
And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.
Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.
Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.
Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.
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This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊
also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious
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lovebugism · 1 year
Note
Play wrestling with bff Steve and getting giggly when he just straight up manhandles you 😭😭😭
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✶ ┄ SORE LOSER !
summary: steve harrington doesn't like to let you win until he realizes how good it feels to lose. pairing: best friend!steve harrington / f!reader word count: 1.6k warnings: a lil bit suggestive towards the end, but nothing crazy a/n: i got super carried away with this lol i kinda just took this request and ran with it and well... here we are :) enjoy!
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Steve never lets you win. 
He thinks it’s letting you off too easy.
The boy’s competitive to a fault. He can’t stomach a loss, even if it’s in something as meaningless as a carnival game you only wanted to play for the giant dinosaur plushie that’s half the size of you. 
He always ends up giving it to you when he inevitably wins, wearing a big smug smile on his pretty, pink lips. You take it from him with a pout. The childlike scowl is quelled only by the funnel cake he buys you after.
It doesn’t matter what it is — a game of monopoly, trivia questions on the ends of popsicle sticks, taking in the groceries — Steve finds a way to make all of it competitive. He wants to have the most fake money and little fake properties, he wants to shout the answer before anyone else can, he wants to carry more heavy plastic bags than everyone else. Just to say that he did it.
If you put this much effort into school, you’d be in college right now, Harrington, you’d tease.
Not my fault you’re a sore loser, he’d retort. I’ll let you win the next one, sunshine. Promise.
He never does.
You and Steve play-wrestle like a couple of kids. It usually comes out of nowhere. You’ll make fun of him, he’ll shove at you, and you’ll shove back harder. Then it just turns into a game of who’s stronger than who — and it’s always him. Obviously. 
You try your hardest to prove your strength, pushing at him with nimble fists and wriggling something fierce in his hold, but you come out red-faced with a participation ribbon laced within his taunts. And even though he’s got several inches on you and quite a bit more muscle, he never lets you win. Ever.
He manhandles you, perhaps a little too rough at times, but it wasn’t like he had to be kind to you. You weren’t dating or anything, you were best friends — this is what a couple of pals do, right?
They play fight on the carpet of the other’s movie room after being told their closest confidant would murder them in a game of fuck, marry, kill between Anthony Michael Hall and Robert Downey Jr. with zero hesitation.
Friends totally force the other onto the ground by grabbing at the bottoms of their thighs before kneeling over them, wrenching their wrists in their grip and pressing their hands to the ground on either their head.
It’s the definition of being best buds. Truly.
For the first time, you manage to get the better of him. You’re pressed beneath his weight, breathing heavy and rapidly tiring, and you wave the white flag of surrender.
Just when Steve's letting you up and swiping a hand through his mussed hair, you force him onto his back and straddle his waist — like he always did to you — and giggle with mirth at the idea of finally beating him.
He doesn’t find a similar enthusiasm in it, though. His tune changes almost immediately.
You beam down at him, the words of a taunt on the tip of your tongue, and you notice how his cheeks flare pink. His honey-colored eyes widen and his mouth falls softly agape. He glows red in embarrassment and you think he’s just upset that he lost, but he sounds like he’s panicking. The words rush out of his mouth — “Alright, shit, fine— you win, sunshine. Get off, alright? Off, off, off.” 
His hand swats at the side of your knee to hurry you off him.
“Alright, jeez!” you concede with the roll of your eyes, halfway annoyed that he just can’t let you win anything. “You don’t have to be such a sore loser about it, Harrington—”
You understand his haste in that moment, when you feel him brush your inner thigh. Like, all of him — as in, the boner trapped in the sweatpants he’s wearing, all rock hard and raging in its cotton confines.
Suddenly, you’re just as bashful and panicked as he is. 
Your eyes lock at the rock hard realization but neither of you can think of anything to say.
Do you apologize? Do you act like you didn’t feel anything? Do you trust your voice to make a stupid joke so you can move on and forget any of this ever happened? You’re not quite sure.
And in the five-second silence, Steve just wants to die. Internally, he’s praying for a strike of lightning to take him out on the spot because he’s never been more embarrassed in his life.
He’s certain that he’s grossed you out, or worse, made you irreversibly uncomfortable.
In the mess of thoughts running through his head, he tries to rush out some apology that might soothe the awkward air. Your laughter does all the work for him before he can.
It bubbles like sunshine from your mouth, filling the silence and allowing Steve to breathe again. He finds himself chuckling under his breath with you, though he’s still red-faced about it.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep laughing, sunshine,” he chides with the roll of his eyes, though a smile hints at the edges of his mouth. He rises on his elbows to look at you. “What was I supposed to do? Your tits were in my face and your ass was on my dick— sorry for being human!”
“Sorry, alright? I’m sorry,” you manage through hearty giggles. You settle finally at his side and look over at him, still grinning. “Want me to leave so you can… take care of it or whatever?”
He knows you’re joking but he shakes his head anyway. “Nah, it’ll go away. Let’s just… finish this stupid movie.”
“Stupid movie? You picked it!”
“Yeah, so I could see Kelly Lebrock in a bikini!” he argues back, more thankful for the familiar bickering than he ever thought he’d be. “But you made me miss it!”
“It’s not my fault you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“Watch it, sunshine,” he grumbles, half-heatedly. “Don’t start something you can’t finish.”
“I think you’re the one who needs to worry about finishing, Harrington,” you joke and giggle when he shoves you.
You would’ve helped him, if he wanted you to. You know it’s uncomfortable and that it’s partially your fault. You also know that all of those are just excuses to cover up the fact that you’ve always wondered what his cock looks like.
He’d need only ask you, but you know that he won’t.
Even if he did like you in that way, it’d just make things all complicated. And that was totally the opposite of the effortless relationship you’ve developed with him. The kind of effortless where he can be rock hard next to you, and you’ve both decided to just move on from it.
Steve, meanwhile, spends the rest of the movie not watching a single damn minute of it. He’s too busy trying to calm himself down like a teenage boy and figuring out he can get you on top of him again without being too obvious about the whole thing.
He decides he might just start swallowing his pride and let you win sometimes.
5K notes · View notes
strangerstilinski · 3 months
Text
𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝟏𝟖+
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of course eddie thinks he's being so sneaky.
he slips into your room and closes the door behind himself. he does it oh-so carefully, the latch doesn't even give its usual tiny snick as it latches in place in the doorframe. he's got that stupid michael myers mask pulled down over his face, the weight of it pushing his long curls flat to his head and neck.
oh, so sneaky, sure, but you know him — too well, perhaps — and the eager jitters that had him bouncing his leg and drumming his hands against his thighs all morning as he waited for you to leave the apartment.. well, you'd noticed.
point is, you find him easily. and when you creep into the room behind him only a minute after he's disappeared behind the door, you find him digging through your underwear drawer, definitely already sweating under the sticky, mildly suffocating plastic covering his head. at the audible creak of the door, that goofy mask snaps up to look at you and he freezes, as if he thinks that he can fade away from your sight by doing something as simple as not moving. meanwhile, a wonderfully hot spark of something fills you when your gaze finds the balled up lace fisted beneath his white knuckles.
because eddie is weak. he's weak for you. so weak, in fact, that he was willing to risk humiliation like this for the gratification of getting his hands on a pair of your underwear. that spark in your core grows and burns hotter — it spreads through your body until you're asking him, your voice a little cruel and taunting, if he was planning on jerking off with them.
eddie splutters, indignant and embarrassed. and while he flounders for a response, you pull the mask over his head to reveal his curls, wild and frizzy, some of them clinging to his forehead with sweat. you don't give him a moment to recover before pushing further, asking if his thoughts would've dedicated to you when he fisted his cock, when he painted the fabric with his cum-
your taunts hit home, because all the while his cheeks are flushed red, a delicious sort of embarrassment pooling in his gut and urging his dick to kick up in his pants. he's so fucking humiliated at being caught but, still, he knows that he kind of deserves it for being such a creep-
and so while he's busy stammering out a weak excuse, your hands meet his pecs over his shirt, giving a soft push that has him falling back onto the bed so that you can climb into his lap. he's stunned, if only for a moment, before his hands are settling onto your hips, thumbs dipping into the crease where they meet your thighs.
and when he finally kisses you? it's messy and it's slick and it's desperate and you're grinding down against his denim-covered cock and he's whimpering and groaning into your mouth. he's so fucking needy and pliant beneath you that pride surges in your chest and threatens to consume you.
the warmth of your tongue caressing his and the slow roll of your hips eventually has him cumming in his pants, a hot, sticky patch of denim forming over his crotch as he gasps for breath. and you're quick to climb from on top of him, standing and promptly removing your wet panties, depositing them into his limp hand and curling his fingers tight around the damp fabric as you press a lingering kiss to his hair (those panties are a gift, obviously. one that he can use to jerk off with later. he's the one who wanted to get his hands on a pair of your panties so bad, after all.)
you leave him spread out on your bed, still struggling to catch his breath, and you slip away before you can do something stupid like let him see just how badly you want him too.
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assortedseaglass · 5 months
Text
Talk Refined - Chapter One
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Michael Gavey x Reader
[Masterlist]
Summary: When Michael Gavey unwittingly insults a fellow Oxford student, they enter into a game of intellectual cat and mouse.
Content Warnings (this chapter in bold): Language, Smut, Saltburn Spoilers
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Pool was never your forte. Truth be told, you were more of a darts girl. There was something though, in the soft click of the balls knocking together and the damp thunk of them landing in the pocket that scratched an itch on your over-worked mind.
Hilary term was coming to an end, and with it brought the dread that your extended essay title had been submitted. ‘“For the sake of some colour;” women as decoration, in response to Turner’s High Street, Oxford (1810)””. No going back now.
You’d escaped the January madness that had descended on your best friend, Esme. Like most other courses, she had exams at the start of the new year and spent her days in the library and nights in the pub. Much like now, come to think of it.
“You’re up,” you called to your friend as you missed potting a red. “Esme!”
“Sorry! Sorry,” she shimmied between the pool table and a few pub patrons, taking her cue in hand and leaning over the felt green. Click, thunk. A yellow sank into the corner pocket.
“Who were you talking to?” You indicated a man in his early twenties, eyeing up Esme’s backside as she leant over the table to reach another yellow.
“Bartender,” she missed the ball and passed the cue back over the table. You took it and swiftly potted a red. “Nice one. Just borrowing this,” she lit her cigarette with a metal lighter. When she was done, she tossed it back to the bartender and he winked.
The two of you’d met at a humanities and arts, inter-college social less than two weeks into your first term. Dress as your subject and be ready for a night of frivolity even Elagabalus couldn’t imagine. You’d found some of silk scarves in a charity shop, bought cheap pearls from Primark and gone as the Girl with a Pearl Earring. Outside the Blenheim was where you first spotted her. Dressed in a bedsheet draped as a peplos, she had climbed a lamppost and was swigging wine straight from the bottle. That is a girl I want to be friends with, you’d thought, and promptly beelined for her and begged for the bottle.
“You doing philosophy?” You asked after chugging the cheap merlot.
“Classics. And you, I’m guessing history-”
“History of art, yeah.”
The next morning, you’d woken in her dorm room at Brasenose, the autumn sunlight blinding and your breath smelling as if something had crawled inside you and died there. Esme didn’t mind. Her mouth was stained red from the wine and a hickey the size of Brazil adorned her neck. You’d been inseparable ever since.
“Bollocks,” you missed potting a red and, as Esme swept to grab to pool cue, the pub erupted in song.
“RUBY RUBY RUBY RUBY!”
“Ahah ahah ahaaaaaaaah!” Esme sang the refrain in your ear as she twirled you round, the cue discarded on the table.
“DO YA DO YA DO YA DO YA!?”
“Fuck’s sake,” It was hard not to smile despite your best efforts. You felt like a twat but no-one was looking at you. All were too busy singing to notice the two tipsy girls dancing by the pool table. In any case, the only person whose opinion mattered to you was the one spinning you in her arms. One wayward spin and bumped you into the pool table. Giggling, you opened your arms to be embraced once more-
“Oh shit,” Esme whispered hastily, suddenly standing straight and flattening her hair. “Got any lip gloss?”
“Erm,” you patted your pockets. “No sorry.”
“Damn,”
“Who’ve you seen?” you smirked, standing by your best friend’s shoulder and following her line of sight. Well, it could have been any number of students in the packed pub. There were some rugby lads, double polos with both collars popped. Pretty boy Felix Catton and his posse of poshos. It could have even been that girl Eleanor, now greeting a friend at the bar. Esme and Eleanor hooked up at the Brasenose Christmas party. Esme said it was “unexpected” and “not her usual flavour”, but you’d met her once after tutorial, and the way she looked at her tutor’s bottom as it wiggled down the corridor in her Peacock’s pencil skirt was not one of envy. “Well?” You asked impatiently. “Who is it?”
“There, blue check shirt, dark hair.” Esme pointed at the bar where such a man was standing. Two pints of lager in hand, he turned and seemed to look around the pub. “Cute, isn’t he? He’s at Brasenose too, doing English I think.”
“Oh right.” As a Wadham girl, you had never seen this boy before. You supposed he was quite good-looking, in a boy-next-door sort of way. You thought perhaps he would be bonny, were it not for the solemn expression on his face. He meandered through the crowd to a small table at which sat another boy.
The two were starkly different. Where Esme’s boy was dark haired, the other was fair. Esme’s boy was stocky, but even sat down the other was gangly, and while Esme’s boy clearly wasn’t an avid reader of Esquire, the blond boy looked like he’d rolled around Oxfam’s bargain bin in total darkness and worn whatever stuck; a pair of baggy cargo shorts pulled up far too high and cinched tightly with a black belt, a pair of Merrell trainers and a novelty tshirt. THIS IS HOW I ROLL. Below the wording was an anagram and equation.
If it weren’t for the middle-aged glasses and frankly atrocious haircut, he’d be quite good looking too. Two Oxford virgins; Trinny and Susannah’s wet dream.
“What’s his name then?”
“Oliver, I think.” Esme was licking her lips and fussing with her bangles.
“You look great,” you swatted at her hand. “And the other one?”
“No idea. They’re always hanging around together. Oliver,” she said his name with some uncertainty. “Oliver never says anything, the other one’s always talking a mile a minute but I haven’t really seen him about. Doesn’t go to any parties.”
“Him and the girl with-”
“Agoraphobia.” You said in unison. The characters of Esme’s college were more vivid to you now than those in a Dickens novel.
“I bet he does maths,”
“I told you, he does English.”
“No,” you tut. “The other one.”
“I reckon it’s physics.”
“Put a pint on it?”
“You’re on,” Esme smacked your hip. “Come on, there’s a table by the bar.”
Following the plume of her cigarette smoke, Esme led you to the sticky wooden table and ordered you a pint of Thatchers. She, a pint of Stella. At the table beside you both, Maybe Oliver and The Other One were talking quickly. Well, the maths-slash-physics boy was. Maybe Oliver was staring distractedly towards the other end of the pub. You looked over your shoulder. Felix Catton was settling down with another round of beers, his stupid eyebrow piercing gleaming in the low pub lights.
“Swap with me,” Esme whispered.
“What?”
“Swap with me so I can look at Oliver.”
You sighed and stood up, shuffling round the table to sit parallel to Oliver. Esme smiled at him as she sat down and he smiled back. When she giggled, you kicked her under the table. Now across from maths-slash-physics, you could see him clearly.
This close, you stood by your assessment that he could have been handsome. His light eyes were framed by not just those hideous glasses but thick, dark lashes. He had a jawline and cheekbones that would make Agyness Deyn jealous. His lips, though strangely curved were plump, and he had a distracting habit of frequently wetting them. But there was something so distinctly and undefinably creepy about him. He talked like a snake, quickly with hissed “s”s and “t”s. You noticed with unease that he barely blinked as he watched for any minutia in his friend’s reaction, and he moved with an almost jerky stiffness. All elbows and angles. This strange combination of beautiful and revolting made him impossible to ignore. Like catching yourself in the mirror after dying your hair. A strange feeling of the uncanny.  
He caught your eye, sensing you staring at him, and you quickly glanced at Esme. Shit. She’d been talking to you about something.
“-of course, it’s easy to compare the Iliad and the Aeneid, but really they’re very different.”
Aha. She was trying to impress, hoping Maybe Oliver would hear. “Oh yes?” You leant forward on your arm and wiggled your eyebrows at her. “Tell me more.”
Esme was clearly delighted that you’d cottoned on to her plan. Brushing her hair from her shoulders and leaning forward too, she continued. “Well, you have to start with the language. One is Greek and one is Latin. Now, we go through this in linguistics. Everyone has to get up to speed with their Greek and Latin so we’re all on the same level-”
You giggled and she kicked you under the table. Esme knew you already knew this and didn’t care. You knew that Esme was just showboating. When you kicked her back she got the giggles and glanced at Maybe Oliver. His eyes were still trained on the back of the pub, and she sighed, taking a gulp of beer. In perfect symmetry, you drank your cider and in the lull you admired the lengths your friend went to flirt with a seemingly average boy.
“-Jameson spends the whole time staring at her tits, completely ignoring the fact she can barely do her times tables.”
Esme choked a little on her drink and your eyebrows shot upwards with barely contained glee. This was far more interesting. You and Esme watched each other, communing telepathically about the intriguing conversation between the boys next to you.
“-times tables, Oliver!”
“Told you it was maths!” You whispered at Esme. Without a word, she got up with a smile to buy you another pint.
“-just fuck off and do history of art, love, save us all the trouble!”
You stilled in your seat, cider halfway to your lips. Did he just-? You ran the sentence over in your mind. “Fuck off and do history of art, love, save us all the trouble.” It wasn’t the first time you’d encountered snobbery about your selected study. Friends from school deemed it “hoity-toity,” and even your parents had worried about your career prospects.
“But what can you actually do with a history of art degree?”
You’d thought Oxford would be different. Surrounded by other young minds, eager for knowledge and an appreciation of the world around them, freshly opened up like your first bottle of champagne; long-awaited, exciting and with a little bit of bite. Just for the adults.
“Excuse me?” Your heart was pounding in your chest as you leant over a little and smiled at the pair of boys. You were proud of your subject but that eagerness to prove its, and your, worth was impossible to ignore. Oliver and Maths Boy looked at you.  “Do you,” you cleared your throat. “What’s wrong with history of art?”
The gangly boy scoffed and turned rigidly in his chair to face you. Like most other nerds, you’d expected him to shy away from anyone outside of his carefully selected circle. This boy, however, seemed to take up an enormous space in your mind. He was confident. Already taken aback by his vicious comment, that threw you even more.
“What’s wrong with it? It’s an easy option that’s become an elitist haven for the middle class.” He pushed his glasses up his long nose with a bony finger. “You ever met any of those ‘students’?” He put air quotes around that last word and you flinched, neck bristling with anger. You doubt he’d have noticed if you put your top over your head and did the Cupid Shuffle; he continued as if nothing happened.
“Load of public-school wankers spouting their useless opinions on aristocrats lounging about in gilded frames, just so they can justify getting a job in daddy’s gallery. It’s an irrelevant, niche subject for people who think their view of the world is superior to us mere plebs’.”
“Michael,” Oliver murmured. He turned to you, not quite looking you in the eye. “Sorry-”
“Here’s your pint,” Esme placed another Thatchers before you. Both you and “Michael” ignored your friends.
“You think it’s irrelevant?” You took a swig of cider without taking your eyes off him. Angry little prick, this fella. You knew the like; maths, physics, economics, law. The students were all the same. Thinking they were better than everyone else because they could swan off into the sunset with £40k job straight out of uni and reap the benefits that the arts provided them without any need to know better. The designer clothes and fast cars, the beautiful buildings they worked in, the nails on the woman ripping open the condom wrapper…
“What’s irrelevant?” Esme said brightly. She held out her hand for Oliver. “Esme, hi.”
“Oliver-”
“History of art, apparently.” You said haughtily.
“Ouch. Who said that?” Esme sat down beside you, still smiling at Oliver.
“Michael.”
“Who’s Michael?”
“Michael Gavey.” The man in question announced himself by extending a long arm in Esme’s direction. She shook his with slight shock and raised her eyebrows at Oliver. He lowered his head in shame.
“Our girl here’s a history of art student.” Esme patted your hand. If you, Esme and Oliver expected this to soften Michael, it didn’t work.
“Ah,” he smiled, mirth lighting his eyes. “That’s why you’re so tetchy. Which school was it then? Cheltenham? Roedean?”
“She went to state comp actually,” Ever your champion, Esme came to your defence.
“Scholarship student?” Michael sneered.
“No,” you rebuffed quickly.
“What’s wrong with that? Me and Oliver here are.”
“Nothing You were the one trying to get me to say it was.”
Michael smiled with satisfaction and an awkward silence fell between the four of you. The clink of glasses and drunken chatter continued around you. This wasn’t the first charged student encounter that had happened in this pub, nor would it be the last.
“I suppose you think maths is superior?” You folded your arms and raised an eyebrow. A challenge. Prove it then.
“Of course it is,”
It was your turn to scoff. “Why can’t there be room for both?”
“There is room for both. Mathematics is just more important.”
“Jesus,” Oliver rubbed his hands over his face.
“Mathematics is the foundation for everything. The modern world as we know it wouldn’t exist without it. Technology, healthcare, finance, governance, everything. It prevents chaos. Without mathematics, society would collapse.” He fidgeted in his chair to turn more vividly towards you, his hands excitedly grasping for something in front of him that didn’t exist. Maths, probably. “We create predictions and complex design systems so that life as we know it can exist, and continue to exist.”
He looked at you as though you should have been impressed. You supposed his excitement was quite sweet. In truth, you knew maths was important. History of art student though you were, you weren’t an idiot. You were at one of the world’s top universities for God’s sake.
“But what’s the point of existing if there’s nothing to enjoy? To live for?”
“Pardon?” What had he expected? For you to roll over and kiss his feet? Take him round the back of the pub for a quick knee tremble? “Oh yes, Michael, tell me more about Fermat’s conjecture! More! More!”
“Art is what makes life worth living for. Its history helps us understand politics, religions, societies and peoples of the past.”
“All that from staring at a Bruegels?” Michael looked at Oliver with a laugh, hoping for back up. Oliver was tearing up a beer mat.
“Yes!”
“Well, it’s never done anything for me.”
His arrogance and ignorance was astounding. This final comment was the drop that sent you overflowing with exasperation. “Yes it has,” you snapped. Michael glared at you. “Aside from what I literally just said, art has done everything for you. Take today for example.”
At this, Michael sat forward. He couldn’t resist a reasoned argument with concrete evidence.
“You woke up this morning at Brasenose, is it?” He nodded. “At Brasenose, in a dorm with Carol Vorderman posters on the walls, posters designed by graphic designers who studied art. Those posters line the walls of a building almost five hundred years old. From barely known architects to Powell and Moya, each added to its history with their extensive understanding of art and beauty. For some reason you then got up and decided to put on that God awful tshirt which, although many would believe otherwise, was designed to be aesthetically pleasing or visually arresting. The latter it certainly is. There you go. Art.” You were on a role.
“I’m assuming you had lectures or tutorial today? The book you read? The covers were made by, you guessed it, artists. You came here with Oliver and decided to get a craft beer because you’re a pretentious prick, and got the darker of the two because, and I agree with you here, the label is prettier. You’re gonna go home in an hour or two when you’ve had one too many pints and ogled that pretty girl at the bar,” you pointed at Eleanor. “Whose thong caught your eye above her low rises. Fashion? That’s art by the way and extremely influential on society ‘as we know it’.” You quoted him back and loved the way his lips quirked into a tight line.
“And thinking of her and her pretty thong, you’ll whack out ZOO mag and whack out a swift one over some big-titted page three girl in a pair of lace knickers that were designed by someone with a fashion degree. Art.”
Esme and Oliver stared at you. A manic, self-satisfied smile was plastered on your face, and when you downed your pint to cool down from the warmth that outpouring had exerted, Oliver actually smiled. Michael said nothing. Did nothing. He was entirely, utterly unreadable. You wanted to smack him.
He glanced from you to Esme, to Oliver and at last to his pint. Like you had done, he picked it up, finish it in three gulps and placed it back on the table. “Oh, sweet baby Jesus.” What the fuck was he talking about? He spoke to his friend as if you and Esme had ceased to exist. “Going for a slash. Get me another pint please, Oliver? Thanks.” He stood from his chair, unfurling like a stick insect, and made purposefully for the gents’.
Your mouth fell open. Esme chuckled nervously. “He’s a charmer,” she said to Oliver.
“Yeah, ‘scuse,” he muttered, shuffling awkwardly to the bar.
You both sat in your chairs, baffled silence befalling of you. “Well, no double dates for us then.” Esme said.
You laughed. “No date for you fullstop.”
“Yeah,” Esme glanced at the bar where Oliver was now waving at someone. You watched as he made his way over to Felix Catton and his friends. “Bit dull, wasn’t he?”
“Yeah,” Oliver sat down as the rest of the posho’s table cheered. “Though if he’s friends with Felix Catton…?”
“Didn’t realise you were so shallow?” Esme teased.
“I’m not! But the parties, Esme, the parties!”
“I know, I know, I’ll remember that Christmas one forever. Oh God, here he comes,” Esme shrank in her seat. Michael was weaving through the crowd back towards the table.
“Why isn’t he going to sit with Felix and Oliver?” You whispered. “He better not be coming back here.”
You and Esme watched as his approached slowed, faltering when he noticed Oliver and his pint were missing. He glanced around, looking at his feet as if to find Oliver on the floor. It was painful. Watching the realisation dawn on his face. You and Esme knew it before he did.
A hand raised in the air; he had spotted Oliver at Felix’s table. You watched, with pity and embarrassment, as Michael waved and Oliver turned away.
“Shit,” Esme said.
Hand moving to push up his glasses, Michael, with head hung low, left.
“Shit,” Esme said again. “Bet you feel like a bitch for shouting at him now.”
And despite his pomp and arrogance, his cynicism and creepiness, you really did feel awful.
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Notes: The amount of research I did for this was wholly unnecessary. Added some links because 2006/2007 was quite a place. The script hit me like a fucking train. It says, “Back with Michael: CRUSHED.”
Many thanks to @thecruel for their help with the transcript of the Saltburn pub scene, and to @ewanmitchellcrumbs for the Michael Gavey inspo, your headcanons are always spot on.
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Tags: @lexwolfhale* @theoneeyedprince @lovebittenbyevans @fan-goddess @ellrond @very-straight-blog @arcielee @tsujifreya @liv-cole @myfandomprompts @annoyingkittydetective* @elizarbell @solisarium @thekinslayersswordhand @nightdiamond8663* @slowlysparklyninja* @kate-to-the-ki @bellaisasleep @xxxkat3xxx @lacebvnny @moonriseoverkyoto @ewanmitchellcrumbs @moonlightfoxx @pendragora @aemonds-holy-milk @st-eve-barnes @sapphire-writes @babyblue711 @targaryenrealnessdarling @slytherincursebreaker @bottlesandbarricades @valeskafics @anjelicawrites @exitpursuedbyavulcan @barbieaemond @chattylurker @itbmojojoejo @humanpurposes @cyeco13 @heimtathurs @in-a-mountain-pool
*could not tag
525 notes · View notes
phantompoguefangirl · 10 months
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CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT RED HAIR MICHAEL FOR A SECOND BECAUSE HOLY HOT DAMN
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6 notes · View notes
jamespotterismydaddy · 4 months
Text
Academic Rivals
michael gavey x reader
summary: a partner project in the library leads to heightened emotions
A/N: a request from my dearest belie boo! hope you enjoy @valeskafics !!
TW: smut!, semi-public sex, degradation, hate-fucking, misogyny, michael is a little perv actually
word count: 1,788 words
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You despise Michael Gavey. The smug bastard sits right next to you in history and the two of you constantly compete for top of the class. You’ll be the first one to admit that he’d have you beat in any math class but history is yours. The worst part of it is that your professor encourages the rivalry, insisting that it’s ‘healthy competition’. Which is why you’re currently (very apprehensively) making your way to the library to work on your partnered essay with Michael.
You don’t want to make it easy on him though so you strut in, ten minutes late with an iced coffee in your hand. You’re dressed in a sweater and a very short plaid skirt with black thigh highs that just reach under the hem of it. His eyes glance over you almost too quickly, like he’s trying to avoid your gaze.
“You’re late.” He says while looking at his notes.
“This part of the library wasn’t easy to find.” You look around and there isn’t a single person in your line of sight. “Maybe that’s why it’s so dead in here.”
He scoffs. “Or perhaps you’re late because you stopped to get overpriced coffee on the way. Whatever you’re drinking is more sugar than coffee anyhow.”
“So hateful today.” I tease.
“If you spent more time focusing on punctuality then I wouldn’t need to be.” He says pompously. “Get out your notes. I need your contributions for the analysis of economics during the 18th century.”
“In a moment.” You say as you pull out your compact mirror instead of your notes so you can check your hair. You don’t particularly care how it looks at the moment but you know your primping will piss him off.
“Did you even do your research or were you too focused with your own vanity to get the work done?” He asks in a snarky tone and your eyes dart up to meet his.
“Just because I enjoy putting an effort into looking good doesn’t mean i’m an airhead. Of course I did my research.” You say with a roll of your pretty eyes. Michael thinks you look particularly pretty when you’re angry.
“How should I have known any different? You spend more time worrying about getting attention than your studies. It’s pathetic really. You have so much potential, yet you let your feminine interests dominate you.” He says with a mock look of pity.
“Oh you poor thing. If my ‘feminine interests’ seem to dominate my life then why do I have the highest mark in our class? Shouldn’t you have the highest mark if you dedicate all your time to your studies?” You give him a sweet little smile and he is mortified at the way it makes his cock harden.
“History is hardly my top priority when i’m in much more academically challenging classes and I was top of the class last week so it won’t be long before I overtake you again anyhow.” He tries to act nonchalant but you can tell your words got to him.
“It’s probably difficult for you to do as well as you could when you spend most of the class staring at me.” You say and feel a sense of accomplishment when his cheeks turn crimson red.
“I only look at you because you spend all class talking and giving your half-brained takes on the French Revolution.” He retorts but his words are a little clumsy.
“Then why are you blushing?” 
“It’s hot in here.” He says firmly.
“It is a little hot in here.” Your tone is casual but he can sense the mischief in your voice. His eyes widen as you shrug off your sweater to reveal a tight, white camisole underneath and because it isn’t really that warm in the library, your nipples harden under the garment and they poke through the fabric. “Something wrong, Michael?” You ask sweetly, noticing how his eyes are glued to your perky tits.
“No, of course not.” He answers too quickly and you smirk at him.
You stand up and walk over to his side of the table and sit on it right next to him, so your thigh could almost brush his arm. He can now clearly see the lacy hem off your stockings. “You’re so flustered. It’s pathetic.” You say a little cruelly and he stands abruptly, his chair almost tipping back.
“You’re a bitch.” He spits back at you.
“That’s no way to speak to a woman, Gavey. What would your mother think?”
He just glares at you for a moment and you can’t tell if it’s hate or lust burning in his eyes. You realize quickly that it’s the latter when he grips the back of your hair and forces your mouth to his. Michael presses himself against you and you can feel how painfully hard he is in his trousers as he kisses you roughly. You hate to say that you kiss back, enjoying how sloppy and inexperienced he is, although full of emotion.
He parts his mouth from yours but stays slotted between your thighs. He looks almost nervous, like he half expects you to slap him and leave. He’s fucking delighted when you roll your hips gently against his instead. The math nerd has never touched a woman before but he’s more than ready to grasp the opportunity. He slips both his hands right up your top and groans when he feels your soft tits. He massages them and you whine, lifting your shirt for him so he can see exactly what he’s doing.
“Oh, God.” He murmurs as he rolls your nipples between his fingers.
“Have you ever been within two feet of a woman?” You ask him with a cruel little smirk but then you squeak as he pinches your nipple hard. “Ow! Fuck, Michael.” You whine.
“You fucking slut.” He murmurs and you can’t tell if it’s a term of endearment or just plain old misogyny. “Always have some bratty little remark to say.”
Your eyes glaze over a little and you pout at the way he looks at you. You would never think that a virgin could act so dominant.
He looks like he’s fighting some conflict in his mind before he speaks. “Now, you’re going to take your underwear off and bend over the table… then i’m going to fuck you.” He says it like it’s a command but it’s almost as if he’s trying to breathe a dream into reality. When you obey him, his eyes widen and he begins to make quick work on the removal of his belt. He can hardly believe that a woman as hot as you just listened to him, that a woman who seems to despise him with every inch of her being has just bent over a table, waiting to be fucked by him.
He lifts up your skirt, feeling more bricked than he’s ever been as he rubs his hand over your ass. He gives a firm slap to your right cheek just to see how you’d react and he’s pleased when you whimper. Michael runs his fingers through your folds as he finally releases his cock from his pants. He pumps himself as he rubs you, enjoying how wet you are, knowing it means you like it.
“Jesus, Michael, are you gonna stand there all day or are you going to fuck me?” You barely manage to get the question out when he decides to slam himself, balls deep, inside of you. You whine out as you try to get used to how big he is. You really didn’t expect him to be so hung.
All he can do is think to himself, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum. As he tries to block out the sound of your voice so he doesn’t spill himself inside you prematurely.
“Michael…” You whimper out, not even knowing why you’re saying his name.
“Shut the fuck up.” He murmurs before beginning to move himself in and out of you. “Little fucking brat, thinking you’re smarter than me.” He starts to thrust harder. “I’m the smartest person in this entire fucking school.”
His cock is slamming in and out of you at this point and all you can do is let out little moans from how roughly he’s treating you.
“Say it. Say i’m the smartest person in the school.”
“Fuck you, asshole.” You manage to groan out from under him.
He grins. “That’s my job.” Michael may have never had sex before this but he sure as hell knows how the woman’s body works. So, his fingers snake around your front so he can roll your clit between his fingers. You let out a strangled gasp. “Say it. Now.”
“You’re the… smartest… person… in the school.” He punctuates your words with his thrusts as his hips slam against yours, making you stutter at every other word.
“Good girl.” He says smugly.
You give him no warning when you cum and the way your pussy squeezes and convulses around his cock almost makes him fall to his knees and pray to God in thanks. He cums instantly after you, not having the self control to hold it back anymore and not having the will to pull out as he spills deep inside of you.
He now fully contextualizes the fact that, no matter if it’s a deserted section, the two of you are still in the library. He pulls himself out quickly and you whine at the abruptness of it all as he swiftly begins to clothe himself.
“Get dressed!” He urges but you can hardly do more than lie there after being fucked so hard.
You move slowly as you pull up your panties and fix your skirt and top, your thigh-highs looking rumpled.
“We’re going to be expelled!” He panics as he kneels down to straighten up your thigh-highs for you.
“Nobody saw and there’s no cameras in here.” You say as you manage to pull yourself together enough to roll your eyes.
“T-This is your fault!” He exclaims.
Post-nut spiralling i guess.
“My fault?” You raise an eyebrow.
“Yes, it's your fault! You seduced me!” He gets his things together, his face one shade off of a tomato.
“Then it won’t happen again.” You say simply. His face drops.
“Whatever.” He seems to have calmed down a bit, slightly irritated by your words.
You sigh and decide that it’s best to leave while you’re ahead.
“Goodbye, Michael.” You say in a sing-songy tone as you strut away, now leaving him as the dazed one.
“B-But we didn’t start the essay!” Is all he can get out before you turn around the corner and out of his sight.
taglist (comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 7 @watercolorskyy @ophelialaufey
sorry if y'all only wanted to be on my hotd taglist i forget
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wynnyfryd · 6 months
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Trailer Park Steve AU part 7
part 1 | part 6 | chapter 1 on ao3
cw: panic attack, ptsd flashback to minor character death, graphic depictions of… food? lol
Dinner is exactly as chaotic as Steve expected it to be. He and Claudia take opposite end seats with a glass of red wine each, and the kids take the middle and start acting like a pack of caffeinated raccoons: talking over each other, scraping forks against plates, stretching their entire upper bodies across the table and dragging their sleeves through the side dishes instead of just asking someone to pass them the butter; Steve’s starting to wonder if any of these kids have ever eaten at a table before, or if they maybe just wandered in from the surrounding woods. Feral asses.
When they do start asking for things, he regrets wishing they would, because Lucas goes “Erica, can you pass me the salt?” and Erica sneers “I don’t know, can I?” and Mike jabs “Whatever; nobody says ‘may’ anymore, you dork” and Claudia gasps “Michael!” and it all escalates from there until Dustin tries to catapult lasagna off the end of his fork and hits Steve in the side of the head with a glob of warm cheese.
Silence falls around the room.
The cheese plops onto his plate.
“Sh-ii-it,” Dustin breathes, face stuck in wide-eyed shock.
Steve gives Claudia an imploring look.
“Why don’t we clear the table for dessert?”
The commotion starts up again in double time, everyone scrambling to clean up and clear the room before Steve starts bitching about them messing up his hair (and his plate, and his clothes, because the cheese splash sent a spray of little tomato sauce droplets splattering all over him, and isn’t that just perfect; he’s gonna have to hand-scrub the stain out of his khakis), so it’s just him and Dustin left when Dustin’s elbow catches and tips over his wine.
The liquid spills onto his plate: dark, and red, oozing into the uneaten scraps of sauce and cheese and pasta to form a viscous, fleshy sludge. Red like his dad’s office, like his father’s mangled thigh, and it’s just food it’s just food it’s not blood it’s not blood but he can’t fucking breathe, can’t hearing anything beyond the wet, gasping sounds his dad made the night he died, and then he realizes that he’s making them, mouth moving fruitlessly around air that won’t pass, trapped in the bottleneck of his choked-off windpipe.
“Steve?” Dustin asks, and his voice sounds far away. “Shit, shit, Steve! Can you hear me? Are you choking? I know the Heimlich, just- just hold on!”
He snaps out of it when Dustin pulls him halfway from his chair, gets his fists under his ribs and all but punches the air from his lungs. It sets off a nasty coughing fit that leaves Steve snotty and ready to hurl, and he braces himself with his forearms on his knees and stares hard at the ground until the hacking finally stops.
There’s a scuff on his sneakers.
He can’t replace them any time soon.
A moment to catch his breath, and Dustin’s shaking him by the shoulders. “Are you okay??”
Steve keeps his head bowed. “Yeah.” He needs to get the fuck out of here. “Yeah, I’m good.”
He rises from his chair, grateful that everyone else already cleared out before they could witness his little moment, that the blare of the TV from the family room covered the sound of his retching coughs; more grateful still that they won’t notice him now, scampering out of here with his tail between his legs. “Hey listen, man, I’m not feeling so well,” he says absently, fishing his keys from the pocket of his jeans. “Can you get your mom to drive everyone home?”
“Shouldn’t you stay?” Dustin frowns in concern. “If you’re sick? You can go lie down in my room or something, it’s—”
“—Nah, man; I mean, thanks, but…” His hand trembles around his keys, the muscles in his calves screaming bolt, bolt, bolt. “I just- I gotta go.”
He makes a break for it, rushing out the side door so no one else will see him leave (and he knows it’s fucking rude to head out without saying goodbye, but he’s also pretty convinced he’s going to combust if he doesn’t go right now.) “Tell your mom I said thanks, okay?”
“Tell her yourself!” Dustin chases after him, clumsy and slow across the darkened yard. “Dude, will you slow down? Talk to me!”
Steve throws himself into his car like there’s a demodog on his heels. “I’ll call you!”
“What the fuck!” Dustin shouts, but Steve’s already gone.
part 8
tagging a few people i know have been following along 🩷 @slowandsteddie @paintsplatteredandimperfect @stevesbipanic @pennyplainknits @ledleaf @hellion-child @formosusiniquis @missjashin @runninriot @xpaperheartso @steddieas-shegoes
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comfortscripts · 5 months
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Santa's Statistics Helper ¬ Michael Gavey
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Plot - In the midst of the worst Christmas of your life, you meet an arrogant genius who takes pity on your inability to do statistics. Pairing - Michael Gavey x PsychologyStudent!Reader Notes/Warnings - As a psychology student who hates statistics, this was just based off how my boyfriend explains it to me. Michael is a bit of a sweetheart in this with streaks of arrogance. Not proofread so I apologise in advance if it is terrible Word Count - 1,943
Sunday the 10th of December
“As it helps identify the patterns, the correlation matrix is useful in psychological testing, economics, risk management, and statistics. Calculated as (x(i)-mean(x))*(y(i)-mean(y)) / ((x(i)-mean(x))2 * (y(i)-mean(y))2. This mode- Oh for fuck’s sakes!”
Slamming the monotone textbook of your nightmares closed and shoving it to the opposite side of the oaken table, you breathe a sigh of frustration. Four hours you’ve been trying, 240 minutes of your life spent in a lonely library struggling to grasp the difference between a correlation matrix and covariance matrix. If someone told you when you picked psychology that you’d be sacrificing your Christmas to study for some pathetic quantitative methodologies’ module, you would have switched your career pathway to dogwalker.
Unfortunately, you aren’t a bloody psychic so here you sit with red rimmed eyes, frizzing hair from repeatedly tugging at it, and longing for being home watching The Polar Express. A string of swears partnered with the shuffling of papers acted as your soundtrack for the next few minutes as you attempted to build back up your confidence.
“You made it this far; you can do this! Once this module is done, you can get a pint and burn your calculator.”
Just as you leant to grab the textbook, a voice broke through your bubble of academic frustration.
“Don’t think you’d get very far burning a calculator after a few pints, I’ve seen how you handle your alcohol.”
Jumping backwards in your chair, eyes frantically assessing the source of the teasing words. There he stood, Michael Gavey. You had only met him in once during Freshers, but after minimal contact with him, you understood that he looked down on your choice of degree. Mutterings of how it is a pointless degree for vapid girls who would become housewives or receptionists within years of graduation. Mousy hair that had no clear style, smudged glasses, and an oversized maroon jumper that made him appear wider than usual.
Perhaps it was your lack of sleep, but Michael Gavey seemed to be far better looking than before.
“What the fuck Gavey?! Could have given me a heart attack, and I know you are smart but you aren’t a bloody doctor.” Clutching your chest to emphasise the theatrics of your startled self, a small huff left your person with the final word.
With a soft chuckle, the lanky boy slid into the chair opposite before resting his judgmental eyes on your figure. Assessing your appearance as if you were one of his equations. Those denim blues flickering between you and the scattered papers filled with incorrect or half-complete statistical equations.
Moments passed in silence, and with each second you grew more agitated with the piercing gaze from the bespectacled boy. “What are you even doing here Gavey? Is Christmas too simple and mainstream for you to celebrate?”
“I would ask you the same question, but from what I recall you seem to embrace the simple. Or does that only apply to your choice in degree?”
That fleeting thought of attraction was zapped from the air as his words bit at your confidence. Usually, a quick-witted response would fall from your lips, but after days of struggling, it was difficult to view yourself as anything but a student heading towards failure.
It was clear to tell the atmosphere had shifted, a tense weight fell between the pair of you. Watching as his calculated smirk fell, understanding that perhaps his words might not have been appreciated in this moment.
“What do you want Michael? I’m too busy to be belittled today.”
“Well, I was planning on asking you to be quiet. I’ve had to listen to your ridiculous murmurings for the past 2 hours. Not to mention the constant echoing of you abusing those poor books.” Straightening himself in the padded wooden seat, attempting to appear unphased by how defeated your voice sounded.
Even though Michael would never admit to it, he always harboured a modest crush on you. He remembers the way you walked around the different Fresher events with such confidence, despite not knowing anyone prior to starting University. Eyes following your figure as you made the rounds before making your way to his table of one. That was when he messed up. Something about your presence made any semblance of a filter disappear, and the insults flew from his lips before he could bite the words down. All he could do was stare as that kind spark in your eyes faltered and you muttered a discouraged goodbye before walking away from his lonely table.
Since that day, he kept an eye out for you. Never once daring to speak again, but always glancing at your corner table during dinnertime just to catch a glimpse of that jubilant smile. Yes, he thought any subject outside of mathematics-based degrees were pointless to society. Although for some reason, he never wanted you to feel anything less for your choice of pathway. Everyone else on your course might be a half-wit, but not you. Never you.
Suddenly feeling sheepish, you make a move to pack away. “Oh, I apologise. Truthfully, I thought I was the only one who stayed back for Christmas break.”
Hand reaching across to grab the textbook currently resting before the boy, you were met halfway by a larger colder hand. “Don’t leave on my account, especially before I can explain to you the different applications of correlation matrixes.”
Rearranging the position of his chair to minimise the space between the both of you, as he fumbled through your plethora of mock questions and attempted answers. All whilst your mouth parted with puzzlement, leaving you to watch his movement with questioning eyes.
“Why in the world would you help me?”
“Figures it could balance out my karma for slagging your subject. Plus, I can’t sit here knowing you are desecrating maths and not intervene.”
And with the rippling sounds of the pages followed by the subtle knock of the textbook cover, the pair of you began an unlikely partnership.
Monday the 18th of December
The next seven days were spent in that secluded corner of the century-old building with Michael explaining statistical concepts in his velvety tones. At the start, he found it difficult to not mark his superiority or mock your questions that seemed elementary to him. Eventually, he grew to understand that you really did care about understanding the methods entirely, and that your questions spawned from craving knowledge rather than sheer stupidity. Awkward explanations turned into two-way conversations during study breaks, and silly jokes. If anyone were to enter the library, they would hear the duo of laughs ricochet off the walls of books. Perhaps they would think that two friends were sharing inside jokes, but if anyone saw the pair of you, they would see two fools infatuated with one another.
It was true, within the past week Michael’s crush only grew and you started to realise that Michael might be the unexpected highlight of university. Since Freshers, you felt drawn to him, and maybe at the start it was purely a physical attraction that was shut down by his mean-spirited comments. But this version of Michael, where he feels comfortable and lets down his arrogant guard, this is the boy that you wish you’d known from the beginning. Heart fluttering when he praises you, chest aching from giggles at his nerdy jokes, and fingertips lingering slightly too long on his veiny hand.
As the snow falls outside, the pair of you sat with only the sound of your nervous drumming and the scratch of Michael’s pen across your mock examination. Studying his side profile, getting lost in the way his lips purse with satisfaction when he ticks off a correct answer, if you didn’t know better, you’d say he was proud of you. Several moments trickled by in silence, waiting in anticipation to see whether the hours spent together had actually taught you anything. There was the unspoken discomfort of what happens next. If you had passed with flying colours, does that mean you and him go back to strangers? Could you pretend to be less than friends again with all these newfound feelings? Truthfully, part of you wished you failed so he would have to keep tutoring you.
“And you did it. Congratulations, you have officially conquered statistics.” Sliding across the paper marked 86% with a little smile into your expectant hands. Those stormy blues meeting yours to watch the excitement unfold.
“I did it? Oh my god, I did it!”
Waving the paper in the air before bringing it to your chest, eyes sparkling with happiness as the weight of failure floats off your shoulders. Michael could only match your exuberant smile, leaning his chiselled chin on the palm of his hand to watch the subject of his dreams glitter in front of him. He knew the doubts that clouded your judgement were bullshit. In his eyes you were almost as smart as him, only in a different way. Watching your seated celebrations as he commits the image to memory, with fear of today being the last day of closeness between you two. Michael half expected you to drop him after realising you understood the concepts. That you would finally recognise you are worth more than someone like him. Someone of a higher class, someone more muscular, someone who isn’t a social pariah.
Those thoughts were halted by the feel of your jumper-clad arms being thrown around his neck, drawing him close. Snapping out of his daydream just as you bridged the gap between your lush lips and his own. Michael felt you melt into him, arms softening in their hold but your lips still continuing the connection with passion. This kiss was all consuming, built up with each second of vulnerability shown throughout the moments together. He noted that you tasted like spearmint gum, and it perfectly complimented the constant chocolate that lurked on his tastebuds.
Somehow it felt like the pair of you were joined for eternity, feeling as if the cool of his lens would be ingrained on your skin. Reluctantly the two young students separated, faces flushed and chests heaving in a desperate attempt to fill your lungs. The realisation of your bold move flashed in your brain, panic arising in your stomach at all the possible scenarios that could happen next, but those fears settled as you saw the soft look hidden behind those glasses.
“Thank you, Michael. I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”
“Well, it does help that I’m a mathematical genius. But truthfully, I’ve enjoyed teaching you and would happily continue our study sessions.” Despite his clear words, Michael was still recovering from the shockwaves in his body from the taste of you on his lips. Mentally he was cringing at his entirely unromantic words, but all you did was smile.
“As much as I would like that, I’d prefer if our relationship went beyond studying? Perhaps we could go for a celebratory pint or get dinner together.” Awkwardly twiddling the hem of his sweater between your fingertips as you avoided his eyeline. “You know, like a date? Only if you would be happy with that, of course.”
“I’ve come to realise that if I was a correlation matrix, and you’d be the variable that’s highly correlated with my happiness. So yes, I’d love to take YOU on a date”
Laughter erupted in your belly at his cheesy line, and he fought the urge to pull in for another kiss. Instead, he chose to intertwine your warm hands with his. “A genius, a gentleman, a teacher, and now a comedian? You, Michael Gavey, are an adventure I can’t wait to explore.”
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