And when I see you
Take the same sweet steps
You used to take
I say I’ll keep on holding you
My arms so tight
I’ll never let you slip away
” - The Cure, High, from Wish - 1992
I saw The Cure live in Brisbane in 1992. The first thing Robert Smith said was
“It’s so hot here, how can you stand it?”
It was the Wish Tour. I was a effeminate, gay, goth back then, and I used to perform my gender by using a stylised repetition of acts that led me to copying Robert Smith’s look, right down to the white basketball trainers he wore all the time, at the time. A few years after this (haha, not A Few Hours After This), I realised I was wearing a uniform, and I had only ever kissed one or two pretty boys on the dance floor — but I was the only one wearing red lipstick.
I took off the uniform after watching Baz Lurhmann’s Romeo + Juliet - 1996.
I began to perform my gender in another, completely different stylised repetition of acts. I began performing my gender in a new set of stylised acts after modelling myself on Leonardo DiCaprio’s look — long-sleeved, white shirt, with cufflinks, a black, double-breasted suit jacket (always open, of course), black denim jeans, and square-toe, Cuban heel boots. I also stripped the black hair dye out of my hair, got a buzzcut— waited for it to grow long enough to style, then I took a picture of Leo from R+J to my hairdresser and asked her if she could do that. She could, but she had to straighten my hair first.
Oh, my word! The things we do to perform our gender and to commit to the Technology of the Self!