when i tell you i had an aneurysm
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Their accents truly were *a chef's kiss*
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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.
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Somebody rescue Tim. He's seen too much.
You do NOT have permission to repost my art.
Meme reference under cut:
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i haven’t been able to get this out of my head i’m sorry ejshsjsj
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I see so many older lesbians at the post office! Yesterday one walked in while I was shipping off a package, and her face lit up as soon as she saw me! We met eyes and shared the same thought
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Steph: Who was the best kid? Like, when you got them, who was best at, uh, being a..good kid?
Bruce, immediately: Jason.
Tim, traumatized: Let's not do this right now.
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The jokes are just writing themselves with OPLA Zeff
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shanks is that spiritually enlightened beach bum constantly holding a jack n coke w a splash of lime who wasn’t lying that time he said he knew karate
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when the batboys get broken bones or other things that can't be fixed in the batcave, and have to go to an actual hospital, they make up the most outlandish sounding excuses for their injuries:
dick (with a broken leg): "well you see, i was actually trying to jump over a river on a pair of rollerskates"
jason (with broken ribs): "i was volunteering at the zoo... feeding the alligators. i fell backwards with the meat in my hands, and one pounced on me. funny how much damage they can do."
tim (with the worst concussion man has ever seen): "oh that? i was walking outside.. and my brothers were playing basketball on the top floor of the house, and one of them accidentally threw the ball out the window, and it landed on my head"
(bruce hears that one and has to reconsider whether or not the version of the story tim told him (getting hit by condiment king's mustard launcher) was the truth or not)
damian (with fingers twisted in every direction): "i play the piano... very violently"
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