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almondmilkygay · 4 years

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Reddie; Rewind.

The fight with Pennywise ended a brutal one. With Eddie barely surviving, Richie felt broken inside as he and Bev sat in the waiting room of Derry Town Hospital. Bev had pieced together Richie's feelings - and had since claimed that she knew from the beginning. Richie dismissed that however, his voice low and husky - and his eyes on the verge of tears. A nurse in a white smock, and holding a clipboard emerged from the hallway, and Richie stood up suddenly - almost like clockwork.

"Mr Tozier, Ms Marsh?" The nurse began, "He's ready for you,"

In the blink of an eye, Richie had rushed to Eddie's hospital room. Bev traipsed slowly, remaining in the doorway of the room and watching the two men quietly. Richie stood over Eddie's bed in silence, as Eddie's vision cleared and he saw Richie standing over him.

"Rich-" Eddie began, before being shortly cut off - in a whirlwind of words, emotions and sobs.

"Ed's, I'm sorry," Richie said, removing his glasses from his face, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you before this happened to you, and I'm sorry I ever forgot you. You were and are the best thing in my life, Edward Kaspbrak. I love you,"

Eddie sat up suddenly, elbows pressing against the pristine white pillows. Eddie took Richie's head in his hands and pulled him closer, closer - until their lips were touching. They moved with each other, passionately, and longingly. The two were only interrupted by a slight squeal from the doorway.

Bev remained in the doorway, standing stock still - with a hand slapped across her mouth, giggling ferociously, as if she were a teenager again.

"Really, Ringwald?" Richie laughed, peeling away from Eddie's grip and holding Eddie's hands in his. Bev's eyes widened as she ran back down the corridor and out of sight. Richie turned back to Eddie, who had a wide grin plastered across his mouth.

"You know," Eddie said, "For a Trashmouth you aren't that bad of a kisser,"

Eddie laughed softly, and the sound was music to Richie's ears. Oh, how he had longed to hear Eddie's euphoric laughter - to the point where it pained him. Eddie stopped laughing as it turned into a wince and he held is wound tightly. Richie cupped Eddie's head in his hands, and placed another kiss against his lips.

"I love you too, Rich," Eddie said softly. Richie held Eddie's hands tightly, and didn't ever want to let go. Ever again.

Years later, and Richie was still holding on tightly to Eddie. The two had quickly fled the dreaded town of Derry - and Eddie's divorce with Myra was hurriedly finalised. Every waking minute Richie spent with Eddie, he felt himself falling deeper and deeper into love - he barely believed such a state of pure nirvana was possible, yet here he was. Richie had plans for his future, plans which had progressed since the first fight with the entity known as It. He longed for a family, and to start a family with Eddie - and that all came down to one thing, that Richie had sworn to himself he would achieve.

Eddie arrived home from work late one evening, and came home to a slight surprise. The apartment was sparkling clean, every nook and cranny glinted with polish. He felt his insides warm as the sweet smell of candles wafted in from the kitchen. Honeysuckle and cherries. Coffee and chocolate. His mouth watered as he walked further into the house, carefully hanging his coat on the wall - to not effect the pristine state it was in.

The kitchen was, empty? A single post-it-note lay on the table, with a small note written on it - in Richie's familiar, messy writing.

Come find me, Ed's :)

Eddie spun around quickly, to find another note, hanging from the doorknob of the broom cupboard.

Look inside :)

It said simply. Eddie opened the door gently, which was also empty. He let out a deep sigh, and turned around - hoping to find another post-it-note. Instead, he found Richie on one knee, a small velvet box held open in his hand, with a glistening diamond ring placed inside of it.

"Ed's, Eddie Spaghetti, Edward Kaspbrak," Richie began as Eddie's eyes glistened with tears, "You're my light, my love, my everything. I don't know what I'd do without you, I couldn't live without you,"

Eddie let out a loud, unattractive sniff - which made Richie laugh aloud.

"I want you, for now and forever, Ed's. Will you marry me?" He finished, almost toppling over as his knee began to quiver and numb, letting out a small, "Fuck,"

"Richard Trashmouth Tozier, I will marry you," Eddie finally squealed. Richie let out a loud sigh, standing to his feet and almost falling backwards as Eddie launched himself into his arms. Richie held Eddie close to him, and buried his head in his shoulder, placing butterfly kisses up his shoulder and to his jaw, before placing one upon his lips. Richie slipped the ring around Eddie's thin fingers, and placed a kiss upon his hand.

"I can't wait," Eddie giggled, linking his pinky finger with Richie's, whom of which he held tight. Eddie had been planning his wedding since he was a small child. He wanted blindingly white butterflies, fairy lights and glittering stars. He wanted his soulmate standing at the other end of the aisle, and his friends sitting patiently in the crowd. He wanted his FairyTale kiss, and FairyTale happy ending. And Richie was his FairyTale prince.

Eddie got his FairyTale wedding. He walked down the aisle slowly, as a twinkling wedding march played. He looked to his right, and then to his left. Beverly Marsh and Ben Hanscom sat hand in hand, as Bev used her free hand to wipe away tears. Bill Denbrough and Audra Denbrough set, smiling widely. Stanley Uris and Mike Hanlon sat, eyes glistening slightly as they watched their forever best friends be united, forever.

Richie and Eddie kissed under the moonlight, as the twinkling stars shone above them. The only butterflies were within Eddie's stomach, and they were flying like crazy. They pressed their heads together, breathing deeply. They had made it.

Soon after, they moved out of the apartment. After many complaints from their friends, they finally concluded the fact that they were moving to New York, and they bid The Losers Club farewell. The house they had invested in together was a home. The tinted glass windows sparkled with colour as the golden sun shone through them. The marble stone counters glinted as the sun reflected off of them. The balcony overlooked the city, which ran for as far as the eye could see. Richie and Eddie Tozier were truly happy, and nothing could stand in between them.

"Daddy!" Delilah giggled endlessly, as Richie blew a raspberry onto her stomach, "It tickles!"

"Exactly the point, my love," Richie replied, placing a kiss upon Delilah's freckles nose. Her golden brown locks flowed over her shoulders as he pyjama onesie sat, buttoned up to her neck loosely.

"Daddy's a bit silly," Eddie said gently, entering the room and taking a seat on the bed where Delilah lay, "It's past your bedtime, baby,"

"Oh no, daddy," Delilah pleaded, softly tugging at Richie's sleeve, "One lullaby please,"

Richie feigned a sigh deeply, before giving Eddie a wide grin - to which Eddie rolled his eyes, despite the wide smile plastered across his face too.

"There's a song, made specifically for pretty little ladies like you," Richie said, poking Delilah's nose gently. She giggled.

"Sing it,"

"Hey there, Delilah

What's it like in New York city?

I'm a thousand miles away

But, girl, tonight you look so pretty

Yes, you do

Times Square can't shine as bright as you

I swear, it's true.

Hey there, Delilah

Don't you worry about the distance

I'm right there if you get lonely

Give this song another listen

Close your eyes

Listen to my voice, it's my disguise

I'm by your side,

Oh, it's what you do to me

What you do to me,"

Richie sang softly, as Delilah was swept off into a deep slumber. He pressed a final kiss to her forehead, and to Eddie's before leaving the room in silence. Eddie kissed Delilah's forehead, too - before turning on her galaxy nightlight and closing the door with a soft chuk.

Eddie's FairyTale dream had come true, and Richie's childhood dream had come true. The two were truly happy, in a constant state of euphoria.

This was to last as they grew old together. As Richie teased Eddie about his sixty-ninth birthday. As they lay in bed together, steadily growing weaker - yet still together. The love lasted until they passed in each other's arms, Delilah sitting by their side still, softly singing Hey There Delilah as they drifted off into an eternal slumber.

#reddie #reddiefic #fanfic #story #wholesome #love #stevenking #it2017 #it2019 #richietozier #eddiekaspbrak #romantic #billdenbrough #stanuris #mikehanlon #benhanscom #bevmarsh #losersclub

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zombiegirl882 · 4 years

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Chapter 4 is out and I've figured out where I want the story to go.

I knew how I wanted it to end but was struggling to know how to fill it, but I just came up with a great idea that I hope people will like!

#reddie #reddiefic #reddiefanfic #fanfic #it2017 #itmovie #losersclub #eddiekaspbrak #richietozier #pennywise #richiexeddie #eddiexrichie

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bonk-bonk-richie · 4 years

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NAME THAT FIC

Help i need to find a really cute reddie fic where they go to prom and kiss or confess their feelings to one another in a broom closet or something? i dont remember but it was very wholesome and it ended with them all leaving together idk i think i was on wattpad somebody h e l p !! IT stans do your gay magic.

#reddie #reddiefic #it the movie #it #it2017

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panstutteringbill · 4 years

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how the end comes.

Summary:

You're bleeding but you aren't thinking about dying.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555263

#reddie #reddiefic #Richie x Eddie #eddie x richie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #it #angst #kitsfics

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stanleyrichies · 5 years

Link

Eddie wakes up in a sewer and he's fucking pissed.

No, first, he's confused as hell. And his head hurts, and he thinks he's gonna throw up. It takes him a minute to realize where he is and remember what had happened and wait what the fuck, he died, why isn't he dead right now?

Miracle resurrection aside, he's super pissed that he's alone in a sewer right now.

#reddie #reddie fic #reddiefic #it fanfiction #mine*

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maddieluch · 5 years

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two times richie tozier loved eddie kaspbrak (or one time with a slight 27-year memory gap)

Richie Tozier has always been a simple man. He could count the things he loved on one hand. Rock & roll, street fighter, ice cream, and Eddie Kaspbrak. That last one came as a revelation to him when he was 13. The summer of a killer clown also became the summer of his first love. At night he would dream of red shorts, fanny packs, inhalers, and sun-kissed skin splattered with freckles. He didn’t know how to take this new revelation. He started joking more and more about fucking Eddie's mom and the ‘length of his junk’ as a way to try and deflect. No one batted an eye at Richie trash-mouth Tozier. Crude jokes were his thing.

It wasn’t until Henry Bowers had called him that word in the arcade. Of course, he’d heard that word before, but hearing it directed at him changed everything. He felt wrong. Boys were supposed to like girls, not other boys. Especially not their short, tan, brown-eyed best friends. He felt wrong and dirty, and Eddie didn’t like dirty things- so how could he ever like Richie? Feelings slowly became bottled up and Richie felt as if he may explode. That's when he found himself at the infamous kissing bridge of Derry, Maine; crouched on his knees, swiss army knife in hand. He didn’t even stop to think ‘what if Henry Bowers sees?’ or worse- ‘what if Eddie sees?’. He couldn’t stop his hand as it carved the letters in the wood. After it was all said and done, he felt relived. His feelings were still there, of course, but writing it out- it felt good. Freeing almost.

After that summer, the losers slowly drifted apart. And as the space between them grew bigger, their memories of what happened grew smaller. In the end, Richie and Eddie were what was left of the ‘losers club’. Richie felt as if the universe were laughing at him. ‘Stupid boy. He’ll never like you the way you like him. But here- be his best friend, see him everyday, walk him to and from school. All while you keep your secret bottled up’. Richie hated the universe. Richie hated most everything these days. His love for street fighter going down the drain after the arcade fiasco, his love for ice cream dwindling as he became older, and his love for rock & roll decreasing as well. Eddie, on the other hand, was different. This love he could not shake. Eddie was kind, and smart, and incredibly sassy for someone of his stature. He could hold his own when Richie joked around, poking fun at him. It was one of Richie's favorite things about Eddie. Eddie was the ray of sun in Richie's dark cloudy life. Eddie was everything.

Until he was nothing. Nothing but a small memory, and then? Not even that. The further Richie got from Derry, the more he forgot. He forgot the losers, he forgot the arcade, he forgot Henry Bowers and his gang, he forgot the clubhouse, he forgot the quarry, but most importantly- he forgot Eddie. For the next 27 years, Richie felt a hole in his chest where Eddie should’ve been. He could never place his finger on exactly what was missing from his life. He was successful, famous, and rich. What else could there be? Of course, he was 40 and still closeted, but Richie assumed that this was as good as life got for someone like him. But, still. It was persistent. Nagging. Like someone had opened a door inside of him and he could not for the life of him close it. Until he saw him again.

Richie at once was hit with everything. Every memory. Chicken fights in the quarry. Movie nights at his house because Sonia Kaspbrak was an evil woman. Running from Bowers together. Shy cuddles in the hammock, legs intertwined. It was as if someone had walked inside of Richie and closed the door. Like someone had returned the missing piece of the puzzle that had gotten swept under the rug for years. It was as if Richie could breathe again, finally. He looked the same, but incredibly different all at once. He was beautiful. ‘Unfair’ Richie thought. Of course, Eddie Kaspbrak would still be beautiful at 40. Richie spent that dinner drinking himself into oblivion, to try and deceive his feelings. ‘Nope,’ he thought, ‘still very much in love’. As he settled in at the hotel, his eyes fluttered shut as dreams of red shorts, fanny packs, inhalers, and sun-kissed freckled skin awakened inside of him once again. Only- this time they got interrupted. A knock at his door. ‘3am?’ thought Richie, ‘this clown has a horrible sense of humor’. Richie opened the door, preparing for the worst- but was met with the exact opposite.

‘Hey Rich’ Eddie said, looking tired and anxious.

Richie stood in the doorway awkwardly, before he cleared his throat.

‘Hey Eds’

‘Don’t call me that’ grumbled Eddie as he pushed past Richie into the room quickly. Richie closed the door softly behind him, turning around to look at the nervous man. Richie felt as if he were still dreaming.

‘Eddie what are you doing? You can’t just walk into a man's room like that without an invite. What if me and your mother were doing something private?’ Richie teased.

‘Richie, I told you my mom died, asshole.’

Richie, still uneasy, became speechless for once and looked down at his socks.

‘Richie’ Eddie whispered, coming closer to his old friend.

‘Hm?’ Richie lifted his head to look into Eddies' eyes.

Brown eyes are just brown eyes until you fall in love with someone with them.

‘Do you remember? Or- are you remembering?’ Eddie asked, hesitantly, looking at Richie with a begging look in his eyes.

Richie sighed ‘Yea, it sort of all hit me as I was driving into town. Then I saw you- um all of you guys and everything came back to me’

‘I can’t believe I forgot you’ Eddie said, voice a little lower.

‘Yea Eds, me neither. I’m pretty hard to forget. Or at least that’s what the ladies tell me’ Richie joked, nervously. He’s horrible at this shit. He wants to be genuine but he doesn’t know-how.

‘Richie, god damn it can you ever be serious?’ Eddie said lightheartedly, but with a firmness behind it.

‘Woah. Okay. I’m sorry Eds. I run my mouth too much, you know me.’ Richie said as he ran his hands through his hair.

Eddie stepped closer to Richie, definitely invading his bubble. Richie breath quickened, he hoped Eddie didn’t notice.

‘I said, don’t call me that’ Eddie looked into his eyes.

Richie had no idea where this was going, it was uncharted territory. His heart was beating in his chest and he felt 13 all over again.

Eddie reached down and lightly touched his fingertips to Richie’s, caressing his fingers down Richie's hand.

‘Eddie-’ Richie breathed out, feeling goosebumps where the shorter man was touching him. Eddie got even closer (if that was possible) and grabbed Richie's hand fully.

‘Richie, I’ve been thinking all night, and I don’t know if it’s cause I’m still kind of drunk or what but I’ve been slowly remembering us. We were best friends. Do you remember?’

Richie started to say yes but Eddie continued on, talking fast.

‘We were best friends, and. And I- I’ve missed you Rich. Without even remembering you, I’ve missed you. Like.. like there was this piece of me missing and tonight I look at you and I’m whole again’ Eddie said all at once, blushing and looking down.

Richie suddenly felt bold. He took his free hand, the one Eddie wasn't grasping on to, and brought it to Eddie’s cheek, lifting his head up so they were looking into each other's eyes again.

‘Eddie- you know I’ve missed you too’ Richie said softly, glimpsing for a second at the other man's lips.

Eddie gave a soft smile and squeezed Richie’s hand.

‘Richie...’ Eddie started, looking scared as ever. ‘You know I-’

And just then there was a loud knock at Richie’s door.

‘Richie! Are you up? Meeting downstairs. It’s an emergency’.

Ben, of course. Ben had to come and ruin this moment. Eddie stepped back as if he had been burned, dropping his hand from Richie’s, snapping back into reality.

‘Eds’ Richie started, reaching out for him.

‘We should go downstairs’ Eddie said and looked down at the ground again, walking quickly past Richie to open the door and leave.

Richie’s heart ached in his chest. What was about to happen before Ben interrupted? He stood in his doorway, aggravated. ‘Fuck you, universe. Fuck you’.

Next thing Richie knows, he’s being dragged into Neibolt again, and he’s scared. He’s even more scared now than he was last time, and he knows Eddie is too. Eddie is not weak though. Eddie may be the strongest out of them all, he has been through so much and Richie doesn’t blame him for not grabbing the knife when spider stan was on top of him. Richie could never blame Eddie.

Before traveling down deeper, Richie lets Eddie know how courageous he really is. How brave Richie knows he is. It’s beautiful and sentimental and Richie, of course, has to ruin it by patting Eddie on his bandaged face. It’s the last time they ever have a conversation, but neither know that at the time.

Minutes (hours?) later, Richie finds himself laying back down in the cavern. The breath knocked out of him. Dazed, he looks up and the first thing he sees is Eddie. His Eddie. Eddie whom he has loved since he was 13. Eddie who is scared of germs and has every allergy under the sun. Eddie who prefers bright colors in contrast to Richie’s preferred subdued tones. Eddie who is incredibly smart and tutored Richie countless times in high school. Eddie who would rather watch a movie at home on the couch than in the theatre. Eddie who doesn’t care for comics but would sit and read them with Richie for hours. Eddie who had a rough life at home but always wore a smile when with Richie. Eddie. The most beautiful man Richie has seen in his life. Above him, proud, yelling how he killed It, how he was brave. Eddie, who quickly bent down and kissed Richie in all the excitement. The kiss is a first but it feels like the middle of something, like finishing a sentence, like the exhale from a long-drawn breath. It’s the first time their mouths have touched but it doesn’t feel new, doesn’t feel unknown. It feels like coming home, in the best way possible. Leaning down to kiss Richie should’ve put Eddie out of the way of Its claw. He should’ve lived. Things should’ve been okay. If only.

There lips were still touching when he was impaled. Eddie gasped into Richie’s mouth and he stilled. Pulling back, he put his hands around the wound coming out of his stomach. Richie could only stare helplessly as his love started to bleed out of his mouth. Could only look up through his blood-stained glasses as Eddie whispered Richie’s name twice before being thrown across the cavern, to later die. Not in Richie’s arms though, no. The universe wouldn’t let him have that. The universe had to get the last laugh. Had to have Eddie take his final breath when Richie was away for a moment.

‘This isn’t how things should’ve ended’, Richie thought, staring at Eddie’s blood on his glasses, surrounded by his friends in the quarry. ‘Eddie should be here’. Richie sobbed, and his friends held him like they held Bill 27 years ago. It was unspoken, but they knew.

Months later, Ben and Beverly tie the knot. Bill and Eudora are finishing a movie. Mike is lounging on a Florida beach, sun on his skin. Richie, however, is not blessed with such happiness. Every night he goes to sleep, and his dreams begin the same. Red shorts, fanny packs, inhalers, and sun-kissed freckled skin. But they always end the same as well. First kisses, flashing lights, bloody glasses, and a dead Eddie in his arms.

#reddie #richietozier #eddiekaspbrak #reddiefic #itchapter2 #it #billhader #jamesransone #finnwolfhard #jackdylangrazer #isuckatwriting #donttakethewritingtooseriouslyplz

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stansbill · 5 years

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Deductive Fashion

Pair: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

Words: 2.3k

Chapters: 1/?

Summary: “Alright, whatever, listen, I’m sorry, blah blah,” Richie said, holding his hands up to retaliate as Eddie stood there listening, “if you pretend to date me, or whatever for a while until this blows over, I promise I’ll pay you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I’m pretty sure I had my dick in your ass last night, and that’s like hella intimate buddy, so I’m sure I know you judging by the fact that I kind of remember you -”

“Alright! Alright, I get it. You remember last night,” Eddie huffed out.

Read on AO3: link

The second Richie woke up, he knew something was wrong. Maybe it was the countless texts on his phone, or maybe it was the fact that his head hurt, or that his eyes stung, his body was stiff - or even the glaring fact that there was currently an arm around his waist.

Which had hair.

So, in conclusion: this was a man’s arm - which should have been glaringly obvious to Richie. It was also currently seven in the morning, his phone was buzzing rapidly on the side table, and his head was pounding.

Plus, he couldn’t find his glasses. So, he did the obvious thing. He picked up the arm that was across his waist, placed it between his hand and the man’s chest and blindly tried to reach for his glasses on the side table.

The next thing Richie noticed was the obvious groaning, and a warm puff of breath on the back of Richie’s neck, and the movement of the man’s arm. Guess he woke.

“Turn off the alarm, dickward,” a voice rang out, making Richie’s entire body go stiff.

Yep, it was definitely a man.

“Yep, sorry,” Richie hastily said, having no other words to say. It felt weird, not to say anything, or maybe it was the fact that there was a man in Richie’s bed. Nope, it was the latter.

Richie picked up his phone, his mind going in countless directions, and moved until his feet hit the cold wood, and let out a little breath. He placed in his password and opened up his texts.

You’re finally coming out??? How come I didn’t know??? Also, you took a cute boy home, tell me the deets [Bev, 3 am]

I hope this was you actively making a decision and not being shitfaced [Stan the man, 3:30 am]

One night stand or boyFRIEND, details trashmouth. [Big bill, 4 am]

Congrats on the cute boy!!! [egg boy, 6 am]

As a friend, nice job on gettin’ some. As a manager? You’re a dumbass and you really need to call me back. [Mikey, 6:30 am]

And Mike must have been serious, considering in thirty minutes, he already had ten missed calls and five missed facetime.

He figured he could cut the man his slack and call back; plus, it would help Richie too, considering his heart was being 90 times a minute and there was currently a man in his bed.

But you know, semantics.

Mike picked up on the first ring.

“Hey buckaroo, it’s a great morning, isn’t it? I mean, I didn’t check the app yet, or even look outside but-”

“Save it, Rich.”

Richie sighed, “yeah, fine, go ahead, tell me how I outed myself to the general public and my entire life is ruined, and now I'm going to have to live on the streets, defend my beautiful body, maybe sell it for a mere cents -”

“Trashmouth, shut up, oh my god. Listen, I’m not going to tell you that you fucked up. Sure, we might have to do damage control considering twitter, and whatever has been blowing up with the mere thought of you actually being somewhat gay -”

“Bi,” Richie cut in.

“Yes, I know. Anyways, it might take some time, but we can move through it. You might just have to come out to a press release, press conference, or even actively announce it so we can move past it. It doesn’t mean you have to date the guy or even see him anymore. We can just use this as a ploy for social interaction. Though, as one of your best friends, I just want to say that I’m proud of you for coming out, even if it wasn’t in the best circumstances.”

“You mean being drunk?”

“Exactly. Do you regret it?”

“A little.”

“That’s okay. We’ll fix it, Rich, don’t worry.”

“I mean, if you can fix anything, it’s Richie’s mistakes!”

Mike sighed over the phone, “Moving on, did he leave the house or is he still here?”

“He’s still here. Right beside me actually - well, right behind, I don’t know, semantics. I should probably make him sign a contract right? Like ‘blah, blah, don’t use to your advantage, blah blah’ -”

“You know I can hear you, right?” A voice rang out, cutting off Richie from his monologue, “Like, don’t get me wrong, it’s amazing to hear a shrill voice at like crack ass dawn in the morning. But if you would like to move it into the next room over, that’ll be great too.”

“It’s 7:30, dickwad,” Richie said, not moving his body to look at the one behind him. He sighed. “I’ll call you later, Mike,” and before Mike could say anything, he carried on, “and yes, don’t worry. I’ll handle it. I’ll meet you at your office at around eleven.” With that said, Richie closed the call, turned around in his bed and came face to face with the man; and let out an involuntary exhale, “how the fuck did I bag you last night?”

The man snorted, “beats me, man, you were a disaster.”

“A disaster you fucking slept with.”

“Exactly. Anyways, as nice as it was to wake up to your voice, I think I should go. Great to meet you!” The man said, his voice slightly sarcastic, as he got up, and looked around for his jeans.

Considering how it was currently still early, Richie blamed his hangover and the ass o'clock in the morning for the next thing that was about to come out of his mouth. “I-um-wait!” Richie said, making the man froze in his steps, “see, I don’t know if you noticed, but I'm kind of a big deal.”

The man snorted, “you mean an amateur comedian.”

Richie frowned, “shut up fuckface, you’re the one that went home with me last night. Anyways, you’re kind of all over the news buddy, just an FYI. So, we might have to do...a bit of something.”

“What the fuck do you mean by ‘a bit of something’?”

“Be seen outside together, a bit? Or pretend to date? Or maybe be friends who fuck in public? Wait, not that way, considering who wants to go to jail, or maybe, who knows -”

“You really babble on like an idiot for someone who talks on stage a lot, huh?”

“I don’t write my material -”

“I fucking knew it!” The man yelled, his lips stretching in a grin, a laugh making its way through his throat, “you always seemed like you forced a few lines -”

“Oh, hardy hah, hah. No one is gonna believe you, now listen, do me a favour, man, and I promise you’ll get a big break.”

The man's eyes narrowed, “you mean ‘big break’ as a shit ton of money, correct?”

“Well, no shit, what do you expect, a ‘big break’ to be me shitting on a toilet? Hellooo, I’m a celebrity, who just came out tonight - without no planning might I add - and that too with a one night stand, so obviously I mean big bucks.”

“You should probably be nice to me considering what you’re asking of me, dickwad.”

“Listen, Mr...whatever your name is-”

“It’s Kaspbrak.”

“What?”

“It’s Eddie Kaspbrak.”

Richie grinned and hummed, “cute-”

“Hey!”

“Anyways! If you could stop interrupting me Eds-”

“That’s not my name!”

“I can’t hear you!”

“Do you want me to fucking leave, because I will, man, don’t fucking piss me off.”

“Alright, whatever, listen, I’m sorry, blah blah,” Richie said, holding his hands up to retaliate as Eddie stood there listening, “if you pretend to date me, or whatever for a while until this blows over, I promise I’ll pay you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I’m pretty sure I had my dick in your ass last night, and that’s like hella intimate buddy, so I’m sure I know you judging by the fact that I kind of remember you -”

“Alright! Alright, I get it. You remember last night,” Eddie huffed out.

“Yeah, so, if you help me with this, you can go home with a fat check in a few months - a month or two tops - or go home now, while obviously signing a contract that states you can’t talk about what my said dick did to your said ass last night.”

Eddie huffed. At one point, the urge to just go home and sleep was slightly soaring in his mind, but on the other hand, the idea of possibly getting a fat check from a said comedian was looking appealing.

It wasn’t that Eddie was desperate for money. Well, maybe, kinda. He just finished his Masters in psychology, and looking for work while being in debt wasn’t fun. Besides, the fact that he even ended up in Richie’s bed last night all had to do with the fact he broke up with his girlfriend of two years before realizing that yeah, he was bent, and yeah, she was a bitch.

Well, Eddie always knew he was bent, but you know, semantics.

“Alright.”

Richie raised an eyebrow, “alright, what?” he asked cautiously.

“Alright, I’ll pretend to date you.”

Richie let out a relief of sigh, “great, alright! Here we go, I’m going to call Mike, so maybe you could you know,” Eddie raised an eyebrow, “like come sit next to me? While I call? So we can figure this planning out?”

Eddie sighed, “how about you call whoever Mike is-”

“My manager.”

“And I’ll be back from the washroom and we can figure out what to do?”

“Sound’s good, Eds, you go take a leak,” Richie said, already dialling Mike instead of hearing Eddie angrily mumble about how that wasn’t his name.

Mike as always, picked up on the first ring, “please tell me you figured it out.”

“Well, kinda?”

Mike sighed, “what did you do?”

“I maybe might have asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend.”

“You know, when you told me you would take care of this, this wasn’t what I was expecting, right?”

“Yeah? Well, you put me up to this man, you knew I was gonna fuck it up -

“You told me you would take care of this! Not make him your fake boyfriend!”

“I’m still hungover Mike, cut me some slack. Besides my heart kinda like jumped when I saw his face, is that weird? I think I should probably see the doctor - wow, look at me, saying I need to see a doctor -”

Mike sighed, “alright, listen. If he’s a hundred percent sure of doing this, we can make a contract at this moment to figure out what you guys need to do to keep this going, and what to avoid, etc.”

Richie hummed, “sounds good.”

“Just to make sure, he doesn’t have any criminal record, right?”

“I don’t know, homeschool, the only thing we spoke about so far is the deal and me fucking him last night.”

“Richie,” Mike said, dejectedly, “what’s his name?”

“Eddie Kaspbrak, Kaspbrak with a ‘K’, should be with a ‘C’ though, he’s a cutie.”

Mike snorted, “might want to make sure he’s not listening so he doesn’t kill you on the spot.”

“You’re here to witness a true crime if it does happen, homeschool.”

“Anyways, it checks out, he doesn’t have a criminal record.”

“Love how you just checked but didn’t let me know how.”

“And that’s why I’m your manager, trashmouth.”

Richie laughed, “exactly.”

Eddie cleared his throat, “I’m back.”

Richie turned around and beckoned him over, “Alright Mike, I’m going to put this phone on speaker, Eds is here.”

“Stop fucking calling me that, I don’t -”

“You must be Eddie.”

Eddie grimaced, “sorry about that.”

“It’s alright, Richie gets on everyone’s nerves -”

“Hey!”

Mike continued as if Richie never spoke. “I’m sorry you got roped into this, considering you probably thought you might just get a one night stand and end up leaving in the morning with no problem.”

“Yeah, until he woke me up with a call.”

“Yeah, that one was mine. The news of Richie being bi never really came out to the public, and with pictures of you guys making out on the steps of Richie’s apartment building last night got published, well, you can see why we need you.”

Now Richie grimaced.

“I figured,” Eddie said, adding nothing more.

“If you’re willing to cooperate with us, we can add benefits on your end that can help you navigate your life after this fiasco.”

Richie cleared his throat, “something about a big check, homeschool?”

Mike exhaled, “yeah, we can provide benefits - just like I said, Richie. You would just need to play up that you guys are casually seeing each other in public for a month or two before this dies down and then we can move forward with Richie’s image. I gather Richie told you that you have the option of saying no to this, and if you do, you would have to sign an obligation not to spread any information about these events.”

“Yea, he did,” Eddie replied, his hands slightly clammy. This was all fucking insane.

“So, you both would have to come into my office and talk about what we need to do to move forward with this, but right now, I just need to know that you’re willing to do this. Are you?”

“Yeah, yes, I’m willing,” Scratch that, Eddie wished he said no. But he knew he needed the cash.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys in a few hours. During that time, get to know each other a bit, don’t say anything on social media, and please, stay in the apartment. I already have enough damage control to do.”

With that, Mike ended the call.

“So..Eds, how did you come around these parts?”

Eddie rolled his eyes.

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