#regarding gender

[courtmartialme]

my transmasc riza art from 2022 :^)

#riza hawkeye #roy mustang #fma #royai #transmasc riza #thinking a lot about him this month since the mere existence of this AU gave me so much comfort regarding my own gender #he brings me so much joy #needle tw #any person saying that now they like riza or royai wont see heaven. its the same damn character

[bklily]

Harveston was a very fun event (that I really wanted to post about before lmao life got in the way)

I never expected this wacky group of individuals to have such a fun dynamic but then again, such is the nature of TWST innit

#i found it so weirdly wholesome how supportive they were of epel wearing a dress when they discussed the picture #like yes these boys will resort to violence and often manslaughter but they are gender supportive all the way #and i couldn't be happier #i also found the concept of the neige representatives beating the vil representative very funny once again #i hope NRC wins one day but its gonna be SO FUNNY if they just keep losing by very small margins LMAO #i wanted to draw more regarding sebeks cute admiration for epel's grandma but i ran out of creative juice rip oh well #my fave part was idia discovering anime is real good for him #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #twst harveston #idia shroud #epel felmier #jade leech #sebek zigvolt #rook hunt #vil shoenheit #my art #twst art #lily doodles

[deoidesign]

A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.

I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.

Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.

If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.

#remembering how people were like hmm its not actually canon that Steve is trans and adam is nonbinary... #steve doesnt fucking know what 'trans' is hes an unhoused time traveling cowboy like!!! #after an arc. about werewolves. and how people become werewolves because theyre unhappy with their lives. #especially specifically regarding their body/gender #and how adam explicitly says 'your family never saw you as a man' #AND THEN FOLLOWS IT UP. with referring to Steve as 'the man who chose' #like for fucks sake #you are being deliberately and willfully ignorant if you say its not canon. #your ideas of transness are extremely extremely limited if it doesnt include people who dont use the word. #god. ugh. ive been annoyed by this since that episode came out #dont even get me started on how people barely noticed adam is nonbinary.mm #they said they dont wanna be called a boyfriend. come on!!! come on!!!! #how can i make it clearer without them saying shit they woildnt say and have no context for!!!! #scream. #anyways. #delete later lol im just frustrated again. #im not even sure i worded this how i wanted to

[tin-cant]

Just remembered in the early episodes of c2 talks Sam's response to someone asking if it was difficult playing a girl was basically "no they're the same as us". Which is in some ways true but also Veth wound up being like, the one character that I think you could under no circumstance genderswap and have her arc have the same effect.

#for the record i think its decent advice to write woman and men similiarly if your not getting into specific themes regarding gender #but if you say writing a character struggling to fit into the mold of a perfect wife and mother while having her own ambitions #thats a character where being a women is very core to the character #critical role #veth brenatto #also i havent watched talks in a looooong while and i dont plan on rewatching cause yknow #but i distinctly remember this

[lungthief]

sorry but no allyship from any corporate friendly sexually ambiguous pop star will ever be as meaningful to me as whatever the fuck my chemical romance has going on. frank iero notesapp binder merch tweet. gerard way bloody suit motor oil short shorts wizard cloak clown costume. ray toro tenderly kissing his bandmates. mikey way designing gay porn merch. “i am not a lesbian in the classical sense” “people want something from you” no one is doing it like them no one will ever do it like them

#authenticity is such an overused word and it barely means anything anymore but. thats what it is to me #i think whats interesting abt mcr too is that like. theyve always been gnc and open abt all of that stuff #but theyre still just doing whatever they want!!! and its like gay. even though it isnt it is. because theyre mcr. yknow #yknow how i was like patd used to be Actually Gay and now theyre just Coroporate Pride Logo? mcr is like. the opposite of that #obviously they are astronomically better than patd in every single regard so the comparison isnt totally fair. but you get my point #mcr #shut up riley #when will gerard write more gender songs. i want them

[angel-archivist]

It's so interesting and so exceedingly frustrating how agab is being utilized now within the queer community as a way to isolate and sort nonbinary and genderqueer folks into binary boxes that determine their moral purity levels, and their authority to do and write and exist.

The way nonbinary writers are being put under accusation of fetishizing gay men while their AGAB is continually brought up in a way that feels like queer-space-approved misgendering.

The way feminist circles that are supposedly trans-inclusive will use the word AFAB in a way that implicitly but intentionally isolates nonbinary people who aren't AFAB from joining. It's for women*.

The way the language is already flawed and leaves out intersex folks from the conversations while focusing on a binary of sex that isn't truthful.

The constant obsessing over whether someone is AFAB or AMAB and whether or not that gives them the privilege to join, do, write, or be present in certain spaces really really concerns me. How are we supposed to dismantle a binary system of gender if we can't even move past forcibly assigning and focusing on people's genders assigned at birth?

#and yes i understand! that agab language can in some circumstances be helpful in inclusive language and in the medical world but ultimately #is misgendering and unnecessary it should be up to the person to disclose their agab not an expectation of them to give up freely #I think that inclusive language shouldnt be misgendering in nature and agab as far as i can tell should only be used in select discussions #and certainly not as a way to frame a nonbinary writer as a “biological woman” but in a way where the queer community will nod along and sa #“oh they have a point” because you used the word AFAB instead #honestly afab is the term i see used most frequently and most harmfully towards other nonbinary people who don't identify w the label #to exclude trans women and amab nonbinary people #to frame nonbinary people as “still women” because of their assigned gender at birth #also i understand its not as simple as “not using” these terms bc they still serve a purpose and are important #but as they leave the queer community and as they enter the hands of cis queer people they become weapons #i wish i could like manifest my thoughts super clearly but i really cant bc its a difficult situation #its just another example of misogyny and bio-essentialism creeping into the queer community #because the patriarchy impacts all things including our discussions of trans oppression and gender we need to stop viewing it #as a strict binary of male female and oh sometimes we'll mention nonbinary people but we're all afab and amabs at the end of the day <3 #like flames literal flames #if you wanna like chip into the conversation just shoot me an ask or respond to the post i'd love to hear other peoples perspectives #im not infalliable so if i said anything you view as incorrect especially in regards to intersex folks and how you all would like to be #included in these discussions as im not intersex but am aware of how agab is a subject that leans into the idea of a binary of sex #so yeah rant over <3 #retro.bullshit #rant

[radioactive-earthshine]

Ngl it would be hilarious if DC editors and writers just... assumed... Bart was lgbt due to poor research technique because one of the first thing Google says when you look him up is that he's gay. A smart researcher would follow up and dig more, but we've established that the editors and writers aren't that smart or thorough.

#bart allen #if this is how he gets canonized as lgbt I'd laugh and take it #honestly comic bart reads to me more as pan #i just don’t think gender matters to bart in regards to romance

[cube-cumb3r]

see i felt like the obvious thing to do with rose and the doctor is highlight the obvious similarities with transitioning and regenerating or in any shape or form draw similarities between their experience of gender, not contrast them!

#i took a huge L in that regard #coz like to make the doctor with his weird gender and timelord and alieness a fumbling trans ally #and rose the Allknower of gender #just doesnt feel correct and also others rose a bit yanno #doctor who #doctor who spoilers #rose noble #fourteenth doctor

[glownery]

wishing everyone who celebrates a happy easter and an even happier transgender day of visibility 🐣🪩🫶🪽

#went to church with my mom for the first time in years just because we thought it could be fun (it was!) and im thinking about. themes #resurrection and rebirth belongs to trans and nonbinary people and if i was going to pray i would thank god for making me queer !!! #the middle picture is from a disco themed university party we had on (holy) thursday where i had So much fun #(the crucifix earring was Mostly ironic and for the aesthetic) #been experiencing a lot of queer joy lately. as well as some new and complicated but Good feelings about gender. and maybe religion as well #anyway. #easter #religion #gender #tdov #trans day of visibility #lgbtq #queer #mine #💛 #religion mention #christianity mention #<- just in case people dont want to see anything to do with religion in the trans tags today (or ever) !! <3 sorry if i missed something #edit: i originally also had a quote from julian k. jarboe here about humanity partaking in the act of creation #but i didnt realize the quote was from a jewish person regarding judaism so i removed it from the association with easter and christianity #the quote itself slaps​ and idk to what degree different religions and discussions or art about them should be kept separated !! #but im not the authority on that and ofc dont want to make anyone uncomfortable !!

[vintage-bentley]

How in the fuck are you going to be anti trans and a Good Omens fan as if both the book and the show don’t explicitly establish the existence of several nonbinary characters and both Aziraphale and Crowley themselves are genderless beings

Not to mention both David and Michael’s staunch support of the LGBT (really emphasizing the T here, since you love to drop it) community as a whole, and David literally has a trans child

Part of me is even asking this in good faith because how do you see a series that is so incredibly queer and like it considering how much you shit-talk trans people on your lackluster TERF blog

There’s many reasons, actually! I’ll explain them in good faith, because I think that people who ask questions like this don’t understand the perspective of so-called “terfs” and assume we think like you do.

Firstly, I’m a feminist, so I’m used to media not aligning with my politics. I expect it, actually. Down to very simple things, like knowing I’m never going to go into a show and see a woman just existing with body hair like men do in shows all the time. But I’m comfortable and confident enough in my beliefs that I can consume media that doesn’t align with them. This extends to my feelings regarding gender. A they/them character doesn’t make my head explode, it’s just the same for me as seeing a Christian character (like Ella from Netlix’s Lucifer) or a female character who’s pro-beauty culture (like Elinor from First Kill). It’s a representation of a belief I don’t agree with and personally don’t believe in, that’s all.

Secondly, Good Omens is set in a made up universe with fantasy themes. I can easily get behind the idea that the true forms of angels and demons are genderless, because that makes sense to me in the same way God being genderless makes sense to me. This doesn’t have to carry over to me believing that humans can be genderless (I don’t believe in the concept of internal gender identity, because I don’t believe in souls. So I guess the better way to put this is that I don’t believe humans can be sexless unless we’re using gender and sex as synonyms). In the same way that it makes sense to me that angels and demons have souls that are put into bodies issued to them…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Or how it makes sense to me that Aziraphale and Crowley could survive without food, water, and sleep…but I don’t have to believe that also applies to humans. Etc. etc.

Basically, just because something is in a fantasy show, doesn’t mean I have to believe it’s real.

Thirdly, what the actors do in their own lives is none of my business. I don’t agree with supporting the TQ+ especially in relation to LGB (considering they’ve made it a primary goal to harass lesbians into pretending we can like penis, and to take every chance they get to express their hatred for homosexuality. I love to drop the T because they dropped me and my fellow homosexuals years ago). If two straight male actors want to do that, whatever. I also don’t agree with Sheen having a baby with a woman his daughter’s age, but that hasn’t stopped me from watching the show or appreciating his talent.

This all takes me back to what I said about believing you don’t truly understand the perspective of those you call “terfs”. Just because you might not be able to comprehend watching and enjoying something that doesn’t perfectly align with your worldview, doesn’t mean others feel the same. For example, many radical and rad-leaning feminists enjoyed the Barbie movie, despite it not being radical feminist. We’re capable of watching and enjoying things we don’t agree with, and of having discussions about why we don’t agree with it.

A much simpler answer to your question would be: I’ve always loved angels and demons and all things supernatural. I’ve always loved old cars. I love Queen. Religious/moral commentary and critique interest me. I love lighthearted comedies. I’m gay and starved for representation of healthy gay relationships. I love gay star-crossed lovers stories (go watch First Kill). Naturally, I’m going to love Good Omens, even if it doesn’t perfectly align with my worldview.

#asks #anon #it’s not even just the stuff regarding gender I don’t agree with! #I have a HUGE issue with the existence of Ms Sandwich and her ‘stable’ of ‘girls’ #brothels are insanely inhumane and a breeding ground for human trafficking. And women are human—not property to sell #tbh I take bigger issue with that aspect than any of the gender stuff #there’s also the whole thing with God being a woman/having the voice of a woman… #…despite there being no attempt at reimagining what the world would be like had it been made by a female god instead of a male one #(example: maybe Adam would’ve come from Eve’s rib. Maybe Adam would’ve been responsible for the Original Sin) #instead Neil keeps all the patriarchal religion stuff in and pats himself on the back for casting a woman as God #what I’m trying to say is that yeah. I have disagreements with the show. so what. #it’s still a good show even if it’s not a radical feminist/rad-leaning show

[saltpepperbeard]

absolutely adore it when an ofmd post breaks out of containment and i see tags like "i don't go here but the vibe looks immaculate" or "i don't go here but i want to" or "i don't go here but the gender is incredible."

like it just makes me sit here and stare at my activity like

#OFMD #there's just something so special about seeing it get love outside of the usual scope i suppose! #it also makes me very *Palpatine voice* GOOOOOD ANAKIN GOOOOOD #or very *Davy Jones voice* JOIN MY CREW...... #like yes lovelies #you DO indeed want to go here #TRUST ME #YOU ABSOLUTELY DO SHDJKLSS #also this is in regard to the vico/madeleine/con dance tiktok i shared #because so many people loved their vibe and loved vico's gender #and i'm like yup YUP YUP!!!

[gatheringbones]

something something that thing from jane ward I remember every time I think about the forms and structures of het romance and romantic storyforms where. straight men who really really really like women and are attracted to women and admire women and yearn for women and who make active choices to become the kind of person women want to be around are seen as less masculine, or somehow demasculinized by their attachment to women. how in straight culture there’s something kind of well. faggoty. about sincerely liking women, and that quote unquote real men don’t and shouldn’t.

#I think about it especially in regards to #the hold on our culture that particular het storyform has #the one where they can’t stand each other #and keep their genders safe through reluctantly making an alliance on an individual level

[tswwwit]

What are some ideas you have floating around that you don't have any plans on writing but like to entertain as a thought?

Many of them, in fact! Though they sort of vanish from my memory if I don't make a record of them, here's a few ones I jotted down when they came to mind.

For a domestic one: Bill thought he'd hate a lot of being married! Even though he loves Dipper, he thought he'd rebel against the chains of domesticity - and in some ways he still does - but one major benefit he's found is not having to be 'on' all the time.

No need to be perfectly performing all the time! No shoving around for social influence, no intimidation, or clever tricks. No commanding attention or taking up the room. Hell, there's surprisingly little upkeep! Bill can undo his tie and pick his nose and bitch about his day to someone who isn't bending over backwards to agree with him on everything. Someone who doesn't give him a weird look and sneer if he, god forbid, actually wants to sit down, read a book, drop the grin for an hour or two.

The concept in question is Bill's very first moment of great surprise. That when he isn't being the most charming, terrifying, and exciting guy in the universe, and just chilling out for like, five minutes, Dipper comes over and snuggles up to him on the couch, or wraps his arms around his shoulders and kisses the top of his head. And when Bill asks 'what was that for?', Dipper shrugs and goes 'eh, just felt like it'. It's both baffling and extremely compelling.

A short where Reincarnated Dip is Definitely Sure he's Not Gay!!! Especially not for this Hot Demon Man who is getting so close and touchy with him with his big smile and horrible wiles. Yep. Just keeping an eye on him to make sure he's not up to something Nefarious ™.

A discussion between Dipper and Bill where Dipper insists that Bill should understand this, or not do that, because, like. Y'know, Bill's a guy! There are guy things! Making Bill stare at Dipper like he's an idiot. He proceeds to informs Dipper how that's stupid for multiple reasons! First, that Bill's Not Human to begin with, his gender can't be put into a little box! And frankly, he never filled out the paperwork for his original one, come to think of it. Sure, he/him's fine, but c'mon, sapling, thinking of the whole shebang like a binary is dumb as hell. Now Dipper has to do some mental readjustment re: his own issues with masculinity/gender.

#answers #None of this is very coherent I just saved this ask for a while and dumped some thoughts in #Though I do have like a whole scene in my head for the gender one #Probably it's Bill cajoling Dipper into wearing a dress for something. Which Dipper obviously rebels against. #Bill's very convincing but Dipper shoots back well. He's never seen *Bill* wear a dress. Thinking he's making a point #But Bill just gets the metaphorical equivalent of a lightbulb over his head. Hey! Good point kid it's been a while #Oh ho!!! I see! Pinching Dipper's cheek - you want us to *match!* Surprised to see any fashion sense outta you #Hold on a sec. Bill will whip up something in a jiffy. A real nice one #Now Dipper's spluttering. He thought it was a good counterargument but Bill didn't even *flinch* at the idea of wearing one himself #But like. C'mon Bill Guys Don't Wear Dresses!! You're a guy you shouldn't- #Bill stares at him like he's an idiot. DIpper shuts up. Dumb move actually now that he's thinking about it #Both because telling Bill he *shouldn't* do something absolutely means he's looking into doing it. If not already in the process #And second. Uh. Oh hell. Dipper remembers. That Bill's only wearing that body. Not human. Triangular so - Wait. Is he *not* a guy?? Uh. #Bill's perfectly fine with his human body and his pronouns. Even with the presumptions that his husband has made over the years #But Dipper having this idea that those mean Bill should STOP doing certain things annoys him a lot #Bill politely - for him anyway - reminds Dipper that he's very much *not* a guy. None of that crap applies! #As Dipper has seen! And hey the ideas Dipper's working with there are outdated even among *humans* what the hell #There's probably a mini-rant that's rather scathing but frankly that's Bill on easy mode for his husband #Dipper's well-intentioned and knows how things go but he struggles with masculinity especially regarding himself #Turns out being bullied and trying so hard to be Socially Acceptable means a lot of issues to unpack #Also re: the Domestic one #Dipper is present with Bill while he chills out for those five minutes. Just watching from across the room #Bill knows he's there. But he's not puffing up trying to be impressive. Not being dismissive. Just accepting. And now Dipper's *fascinated* #It's so rare to see Bill NOT 'on' that he couldn't help it. No big show. No big grin. Almost.... not 'vulnerable' he's terrifying always #But so so relatable. God does Dipper know the feeling of just wanting to find some peace and quiet after a hectic day. But for Bill. That's #Rare and strange and so - Dipper *knows* he's the Only Person who could ever ever see this. Being in Bill's presence for a full ten minutes #Without Bill flipping some internal switch to 'Impress or Intimidate'. This is Dipper's own little secret to watch and absorb and treasure #And. In a way. When Bill's not vibrating with potential energy for parties or violence he's even MORE handsome #He just HAS to kiss him. A little bit. On the cheek or on the top of the head. Maybe curl up next to him where it's warm and touch his ches #Bill spends hours afterward wondering where the hell that came from and WHY. And it'll take him *so much* time to figure it out

[inexplicably-spookified]

older humansagi. put a shirt on dude

#cave story #(I GUESS) #usagi #my ocs #scribblins #does this count as female-presenting nipples? idk #i waffled for a long time over how to design this cause i wanted to keep the shirtless aspect #but at the same time i wasn't sure how to do it without keeping the ambiguity of her physical sex #since the running '''joke''' regarding her gender is that she doesn't actually know what gender is and her 'true' identity is a mystery #bc she uses she/her pronouns explicitly because she 'likes how they sound' #eventually i just said 'fuck it' and drew her like this #are those top surgery scars? maybe! maybe not! who knows!

[snekdood]

yall are willing to die for trans women and not trans men and we should talk about it actually

#transandrophobia #you'll do anything to protect trans women but dont have that same energy for trans men. interesting. #anyways i think the reason this is is bc ppl like this think bc we're men we dont need to be helped or protected #that somehow we should have figured out how to do this on our own. that we dont need community bc we're already solid and tough enough #which is weird like. how are you trans friendly but then you dont do any other basic progressive shit like #getting rid of gender roles entirely instead of now instead applying them to trans people also? ?? #like you dont get to be all 'men should express their emotions and be vulnerable' and then reinforce the traditional gender roles on- #trans men still. like have you or havent you decondtructed that shit in your head or did you iust see someone reblog something that seema #correct w/o even doing any critical thinking or self reflecting or anything on your end at all #i didnt suddenly become made of rock and become invulnerable when i transitioned. bc that narrative for men in general is inaccurate- #and harmful. and even if i did become super buff and capable of mowing down my enemies that wouldnt mean i dont suddenly need community #that doesnt mean i become immune to bullets or that i dont need a space to express my emotions regarding being trans n shit #like yall really just want to leave us out here to die it seems like. we have nowhere to go. no real community bc yall wont give us the #time of day or compassion or anything. you think 'men bad' and thats the deepest your political analysis goes as far as im concerned. #and if thats the case how much better are you than a terf who just decided they were 'okay' with trans women? #p sure this post was inspired from a trans guy literally being a meat shield for other trans ppl and no one gave a fuck.

[dustteller]

Reading He Who Drowned the World and honestly Baoxiang has no right to be as bitchy as he is about Ouyang squandering Esen's love or whatever. Baoxiang is genuinely convinced that Esen loathes him. No you dumb bitch, your brother loves you and the reason he's giving you a hard time is because he wants you to be safe and happy and healthy. Yeah, he sucks at expressing it, and his efforts are misguided (bc the toxic masculinity gender rolesis fucking up Esen as much as it's fucking up everyone else), but Esen very much does love Baoxiang deeply. Every time Baoxiang remembers a time when Esen "enjoyed his fear" or whatever, I can only think of these parts of Esen's POV from the first book:

Esen's first instinct is to defend his brother. The only reason he doesn't is bc Baoxiang leaves before he can. And Baoxiang glares at him bc he assumes that Esen agrees with Altan and won't defend him, but no, Esen WANTED to defend him and it's Baoxiang that took away his oportunity to do so.

And a bit later, we have this interaction. Baoxiang assumes (again) that Esen would hate him if he was gay, and immediately goes on the defensive. Meanwhile, Esen literally does not care about this except for how it would affect his brother's reputation. He's just WORRIED. He doesn't care if Baoxiang is gay or whatever, but he's deeply aware that if he IS it would put him in more danger. Because, again, he cares about his brother, and he hates seeing what he assumes is Baoxiang making his own life harder.

And it's heartbreaking bc Baoxiang will probably never realize how much Esen adores him. He's so jealous of Ouyang for having his brother's heart without realizing that Esen sees him as his beloved baby brother and is desperately trying to protect him from a world that he KNOWS is cruel to him. Baoxiang will never know that his greatest supporter and the only person that loved him unconditionally was Esen. And maybe it would be WORSE if he realized how dear he was to Esen, because the realization that all thise things that caused him pain were borne out of a deep, unconditional LOVE and not the disdain he's convinced himself Esen felt for him might break him. Baoxiang has deluded himself into simplifying Esen's feelings for him into those of hate and disdain because its so much harder to accept that the person you love the most has destroyed you out of love. Baoxiang is doing the exact same thing Ouyang does in convincing himself that he's unlovable and relishing in the world's response as a form of self-harm. And Esen, who is genuinely trying (and floundering horribly) is a great tool for Baoxiang to use to tear himself apart.

And, on the other hand, Esen will never realize how much damage his attempts to help Baoxiang caused. He loves him so much, bc that's his baby brother! It's his job to protect him! But Esen has been raised as the golden poster child of a Mongol Warrior Man, a perfect pinacle of masculinity, and is thus doomed to only being able to express his love and acceptance for Baoxiang through a tough love, lets sand down all the edges to remove friction approach. For him, pushing Baoxiang into a box IS an act of love. It's the act of saying I love and accept you, and so I will help you succeed in all the things you're bad at so that everyone will love you too. Except by doing this, he doesn't realize how awful he's being and how he's asking someone that CANT ever fit the mold to break himself in the attempt. He's a perfect Mongol Warrior Man after all, and as such he has never been given the tools to express his affection in a healthy way. He will never truly understand how much he's an asshole, not because he is lacking in love (as Baoxiang assumes) or because he is incapable of sympathizing (as ouyang thinks), but because understanding is not something allowed of him and his role in society. At the end of the day, Esen is as much a slave to his role as all the other characters are, and now he's dead he will never be able to break free of the assumptions people have made of him. He went to his grave having destroyed the people he loved most, and now he will never have the chance to prove their assumptions wrong as be better.

#he who drowned the world #she who became the sun #wang baoxiang #esen temur #gosh i have many thoughts about this #i have repeated things here particularly in regards to Esen #but idc #listen if we're gonna give other characters a pass for their “gender angst bullshit that has a bodycount” i think Esen also deserves one #gender roles are destructive and they are fucking him up too. #bc even the perfect poster children aren't actually perfect and are also trying to live up to something they cannot achieve #also slightly unrelated but growing queer and neurodivergent in a hispanic family where the neurodivergent one is genetic #i am related to many Esen's. they love me deeply and I love them and we have all been broken by the same wheel. #and i can see that the trauma and harm they pass down to me is the armor they've cobbled together to survive. #and it's so heavy but it is the only way they know how to help me. #so i have a really big soft spot for Esen. #leave him alone he's doing his best!!