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me at 1:00pm: hehe im a dummy ;) real stupid hours

me at 1:00am: maybe I downplay my intelligence so much due to never feeling like I lived up to being the smart and successful person I kept being told I was going to be as a kid

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All that talk about how I won’t allow myself to get attached to him and then a whole 110 days later, he’s saying goodbye, he’s moving on and here I am clutching on to the fragments of my broken heart. That’s it. It all ended just like that, like I never meant anything to him. I guess I never did, that’s why it was so easy for him to walk away. It was so easy for him to choose her, because I wasn’t even on his list of choices. I was just a nobody to him and it hurts. It hurts so much and I hate that it hurts.

- why can’t someone pick me for once

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You know what? I want those little cheesy things in the relationship. I want morning/goodnights texts, I want typical coffee date on a rainy day, I want a walk in the moonlight, I want to sit outside and watch stars until the sunrise, I want a movie date where you put your arm around me, I want a lot of silly photos, I want to cook something with you and mess around with ingredients, I want to leave hickeys on your neck and hear how your friends reacted, I want to look deep into your eyes and say “I love you”, I want laugh at everything with you, I want to give you little surprise kisses, I want a date where you show up with flowers, I want you to shut me up with a kiss whenever I’m getting too nervous, I want to watch horror movie and hide my face in your chest when I’m scared, I want those “you’re beautiful"s when I’m not wearing any makeup, I want to see you cry in front of me so I could tell how perfect you are even when you’re crying, I want to go to the art gallery and pretend that I’m actually paying attention to paintings…..I want to do sooo many things with you….but most of all I just want to hear you calling me yours.

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