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Oo nga pala, magkaiba yung namimiss ka sa gusto kang makasama.

Pwede kasing namimiss ka lang niya pero ayaw kang makasama. At pwede rin naman na gusto ka niya makasama kahit hindi ka niya namimiss.

Kung ako, mas gusto ko yung gusto akong makasama. Kasi kahit hindi sabihin sa'kin, alam ko sa sarili ko na kahit konti namiss niya ako.

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I wonder if you know how many restless nights I have had since I met you. Whether it was your attempts or actions that made me tired and broken. I’ve been reflecting the main problem I have, and it still breaks me. Knowing you, I know you would never cut someone out of your life. You’re too good of a person to do that. Even though it hurts to sit at home and have to think about it all night, I would rather you be happier than me. I think about this a lot. I know it isn’t a good thing, but I could never make you undergo the feeling of failure. You’ve come so far from the past, and I don’t want to be the one to pull you back. I don’t want to make you feel like you failed me or the relationship or anything. It hurts to know when you’re hurting, and I will always try my best to prevent that. In all honesty though, I feel that the problem pushes me away from you. Makes me want to be alone and away from you. Unfortunately, I don’t understand it. You say that we can’t go a week without arguing about it, but that’s because you hang out with her every weekend. I would never tell you what to do or force you to do anything you don’t want to, and I won’t. I know there’s nothing going on, but there is always this feeling within me that bothers me. I also heard tonight that you told her I don’t like you guys hanging out. I would like to know why because right now it’s making me want to feel distant. Is what I said not private? She already talked about it to others, so I thank you for that. I question myself, how many times can we go through the same situation? How much can you or I take? I know you love me, but I also know you need to be there for her. I’d rather be crying and alone than limiting your life and choices. That’s all I can say for now, but I still love you. Even though I feel like I will be the downfall of our relationship because I feel that one day, I won’t be able to keep up. 

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my kinda-boyfriend has started calling me a nickname based on my name that no one has ever even come up with (fullname sinclair, and he calls me clair) and has me calling him his full name cuz no one calls him that….that feels super cute and fuck i like him lots and lots

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Después de tanto tiempo de volví a ver… no lo esperaba, pero al verte me puse nerviosa, mi corazón latía a mil por hora y ahí me dí cuenta de que te sigo queriendo, que a pesar de que me destruiste y me hiciste mierda, aún te quiero, aún tienes ese efecto en mí que tanto me gustaba y que ahora… ahora sólo quiero arrancarlo de mí.

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Anyone else on tumblr in their mid-20s who have never been in a relationship before? How does that affect you? It hurts knowing that there might not actually be someone out there for me and I’m going to be alone the rest of my life. Guys don’t look at me twice. Nothing ever comes of any of the dates I’ve been on. It just sucks feeling and being alone.

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So much can change in just two years. I’ve found my person. I haven’t been on here in a while. I find I only come on here when I’m in my feelings in a negative way. When I’m happy, I don’t have it all bottled up and don’t need the outlet. It was interesting to read back my older posts. Just seeing the feelings of worthlessness, despair and insecurity during and after my previous relationship.

I do remember those dark days. It truly felt like I was going to be alone forever. Like I would never find another who could reciprocate the way I loved him. I was desperate to be loved.

Now, those feelings and thoughts don’t even come to mind. I have not once questioned my relationship with Andrew. I know he loves me with his whole heart and he always makes me feel like I’m enough. He makes me feel beautiful even with no makeup on and when I’m having a terrible body image day. He can talk about a tube of chapstick and have me laughing, he’s so funny without even trying.

Sometimes I think back on my previous relationship with Josh and think he’s now an attorney, he recently bought a condo and a Jaguar. He had so much to offer. And then I think back on the actual relationship that had zero trust, lots of insecurity and sadness and realize I wouldn’t trade what I have with andrew for the world. We may not have everything, but we have each other to get through this crazy thing called life. And that’s all we need ❤️

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