#relationship stuff

[talestobetold]

man i just don’t understand conventional dating. like it sounds like you’re literally not supposed to care about them until you’ve decided to commit to them, and once you care, you should commit right away, or you’re leading them on. but don’t commit for a month or two, too early is a red flag. and you’re supposed to be dating/fucking other people before you’re committed but stop dead after. and if you’re interested in them sexually but don’t foresee a relationship, that inherently means you don’t care about them and you’re either using them for sex or it’s just bodies against bodies. i feel like that has no relationship with my dating experiences at all but i’m still judged on that standard. and i can’t for the life of me fully grasp that standard. 😖

#my_post #relationship stuff #polyamory #arospec #aromantic #idk if this is about being autistic arospec or poly #maybe i just never stood a chance lol #advice appreciated but don’t clown #dating advice

[hometoursandotherstuff]

#relationship stuff #other stuff

[wheneclipsefalls]

Thank you to everyone who has showed me such heart felt love and support. I'm grieving this relationship a lot right now but I couldn't have asked for the break to go better. That being said, I'm in a lot of pain right now so I don't know if I will be hyper active or inactive on here.

#relationship stuff

[vargamour]

Your worth is not measured by the love you receive. You still have value, even when you're alone

#vent art #kind of #idk I'm going through some self-worth stuff right now #dont have anyone i can talk to about it so i just #draw instead #🩸 #bpd #relationship stuff #favourite person #pixel art #mine

[femmespoiled]

ok, folks, how do you celebrate your relationships?

Me and my butch do celebrate monthly, kinda like a monthversary, even after over a year, and I've been thinking about it. I'm sure eventually we'll grow out of it if it becomes more trouble than it's worth, it's not an obligation, but it's got a good meaning for me and it's much more than the passage of time. I'll explain more.

But first, I'm aware most people don't do it, like I get told that an annoying amount if I even hint at the fact that I do it, and I'm aware a lot of people think it's dumb, which whatever, to the relationship people who get bothered about it, just...don't do it in your relationship, I'm not the boss of you.

I'll be honest, I get really confused as to why people get so upset about something they don't have to do, I'm not forcing you, I promise. We're literally just minding our own business, not forcing anyone else to partake. Now that we got that out of the way, let me continue:

Celebrating every month is basically just me and my butch acknowledging and giving ourselves an excuse to celebrate something that makes us happy. It took a really long time for my therapist to be able to get into my head for myself, something I already knew rationally, good things for us are worth celebrating, they deserve celebration, you deserve a treat.

It's not necessarily special in the sense that it was hard to get through another month with them, I celebrate my relationship with them everyday, because they make me feel happy and proud and accomplished, it's actually taking a day to be like "yay, more happiness, more growth, look at all we did this month, I feel really proud! I can't wait for the rest of our lives, but the present is pretty great!" Or "this month was challenging for me in life, but I have you!"

That's the point of it all to me, taking the effort to be consciously and intently present for our relationship, so it has meaning, not just habit. And so far, it hasn't been for me more work than its worth, because our "celebrations" are most of the time really chill, watching a movie or a show, being close to each other, getting to be extra loving, communicating your love more intently, that's all it takes. If the memory betrays you, there's a hundred apps for that.

Anyways, that's our way, how do you celebrate each other? ♥️

#btexts #random stuff #relationship stuff

[disneyprincessdxminatrix]

there’s a huge difference between “I am jealous because I don’t know the people you go out with and would like to get to know them so my insecurity can be put at ease” and “I am jealous because you spend time with other people and I don’t know what you are doing every second of the time I’m not with you so I come along to keep an eye on you”

#jealousy #trust issues #relationship stuff #this isn’t prompted by anything just a general thought I had #my stuff

[wafflestheasianyenbear]

I finally started doing the thing where you put your partners faces as your phone background. I thought it was too cheesy, but it's been like three days and I still keep smiling whenever I open my phone

#personal #text post #relationship stuff #polyamory

[curseofkolyana]

Rant under the cut about my relationship in the context of the rest of the world.

This site sometimes makes me so angry re: thirsting after older men.

I can reblog 80 million posts about how I looove men with grey hair or shit like "I need that old man" about celebrities and fictional characters.

Then I tell people that my partner and I have a significant age gap, and SUDDENLY this is weird, oh my god, he could be your dad, this is sort of weird, are you sure you want to be doing this?

We met as adults. I knew him for 4 years and we were close friends for that entire time before we even considered the idea of a relationship. He is a sweetheart. He worships the ground I walk on. He knows better than to tell me what to do. He supports me in literally everything. He doesn't have a record of daying younger women and then leaving when they hit a certain age like Leo Di Caprio or whatever.

The man didn't even bat an eye when I came out as nonbinary. Jusy reassured me that my gender mattered 0% because he loves *me*

Yeah, we have some differences, but he is genuinely a good person, one of the best men I know, and he is willing to move his entire life across the country at his own expense to be with me.

And yes. I think he's hot. I think older men are hot

Anyway. End rant.

#rocky rambles #relationship stuff

[xiaq]

I've gotten a few asks about 1. if my partner knows I'm bisexual, which yes, obviously, but also 2. if he has any paranoia or concern about not being "enough" for me or that I'm twice as likely to cheat or if my liking women, as well as men, makes him feel emasculated or whatever which mostly makes me feel like y'all need to date better people if these are the kinds of things your partners are saying to you, but I decided to go ahead and just ask B if he felt some type of way about my sexuality/ if he was more worried about me cheating than the average hetero so here's a paraphrase:

B: No. I'd be stupid to feel emasculated. You picked me out of twice the standard competition. That's something I should brag about.

Me:

And the cheating thing?

B: No, not really.

Me: Why?

B: Because I trust you. And I've known you for years and I know you're not the kind of person who would cheat. But also because you're just...so demisexual. Like the textbook definition. And I know that you aren't going to go looking to make any deep romantic connections with anyone and that kind of thing doesn't happen on accident. So I guess if I'm honest, the fact that you don't look at people and automatically feel attraction probably alleviates any back-of-my-mind fears I might have had that you'd meet someone at the grocery store and randomly fall into lust with them.

Me:

B: Also, you don't really... like people.

Me:

B: And you're content with the friends you have now. And I'm pretty sure I'm the only friend in your existing friend group you've ever had a crush on. So I guess I'm pretty set.

Me:

So there you have it, folks.

#answered asks #bisexual #mylife #b #relationship stuff

[earnestlyegos]

uhhh reminder to those who suffer with trauma and trust issues!! (mostly reminder to myself)

its okay to not automatically trust someone! trust takes time, and trust is earned, and although someone you love may be trusted and you know that, its okay to still.. not trust for a bit.

trust is often apart of trauma, and like almost everything including trauma, it takes a long time to heal. sometimes it might not even heal fully.

you shouldnt feel bad for being unable to trust someone, it isnt your fault that you cant. trust is not something that can be forced, again, it is something that must be earned and built through time. its okay to have trust issues, its alright to be scared. its okay to be weary, and nervous and flinchy. being unable to trust someone does not make you a bad person whatsoever, and your trust issues are valid and are important.

mostly a reminder for myself, as i find myself apologizing for being unable to trust people. i often feel shame for it, i feel like im a bad person because “i know they can be trusted, so why cant i trust them?”. but, i realize that is not my fault, nor something i can control. its only something i can work on, and improve with time!

its also important to discuss if youre with someone. letting someone know youre unable to trust, and that you may need some time is a healthy way to communicate. communication is extremely important, so uh…. just remember that, i guess— sorry—

anyways, hope this helps someone!

#trauma #trust issues #trust is hard #traumatized #system #relationship stuff

[branches-in-a-flood]

Welp.

Gonna be slightly dramatic under the cut.

Finally scheduled a tentative Last Date with partner one later this week. Am I panicking? Maybe. Could I bring myself to say anything other than "Hey, do you have time for dinner sometime this week?" with no further context? No, of course not.

I know I've spent a good while alluding to things not going well on here. I know this is the right decision based on two years of increasing insecurity and decreasing communication. But damn if it doesn't feel like maybe a mistake. Maybe I'm just being ridiculous. And it's my fault anyway, isn't it? I haven't been specifically telling them it's getting worse. Maybe we could've saved something if I kept talking about it.

But it's so hard to keep talking about it when you feel like you want to die and then don't get a response for eight hours. When you need someone to spend time with you because you're going to hurt yourself otherwise, but they're busy. When you all but beg to do the things you used to do; that helped quiet your brain, and those things only happen immediately after the conversation and never again. Maybe it isn't my fault. But it feels like it.

Nothing has even happened yet and I'm a melodramatic mess. Not that I've been anything different for the past few months.

#screaming into the void #relationship stuff #cringy and word vomit and so pathetic #but #using tumblr as my diary again

[expatesque]

Real random question but, how would you manage income disparity in a relationship? I’m from a working class household, family struggled most of my life, went to Cam, fell in love with a boy whose family are titled, went to private school, million pound homes etc, and I can’t shake the feeling of feeling inferior.

This is the best problem. I'm sorry, I don't mean to minimize, it is a real issue, it's just such a great issue.

So: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent (Eleanor Roosevelt). This is a very ~therapy~ sounding answer but I do think it's the real one: why do you feel inferior for succeeding against harder circumstances vs someone who had a much easier time of it? Is someone (or ones) making you feel inferior or is this a purely you thing? In what ways exactly are you inferior? What do you think you're lacking or not up to par in and, if they're important enough to you, can you change those things?

Because of course, there will be superficial things like what clothes you're wearing and certain table manner nuances and probably a social cue or two that you won't pick up on, but the vast majority of that can be learned or bought. And with your degree, you can go off and earn enough money to pay for the things to fit in. Whatever else you're missing, start reading vogue and world of interiors and any of the less sexy conde nast publications and you can pick it up. And ask your boy of course, he can fill you in when needed.

But if someone in his family is making you feel inferior, that's a you and your boyfriend problem that you need to talk out. Because this disparity is something the two of you should be navigating together, it's not purely a you issue and you will definitely need his support if the issue is coming from within his house. And I want you to be honest with yourself (and him) about whether he's doing anything to make you feel that way -- intentional or not, it's important to nip this in the bud before it festers and rots.

I know class is complicated and highly contentious here in the UK but you've jumped the system by going to Cambridge, now go do something fabulous for a career and you're sorted. Go enjoy the houses and the holidays and remember that generosity is a two way street - by graciously accepting gifts, you're being polite and respectful to your hosts. Be kind and grateful, always show up with a hostess gift (homemade or thoughtful is definitely best in this case, flowers are always a good backup), and enjoy yourself. He loves you, you love him, this problem is completely overcome-able as long as you get out of your own head. You've got this babe.

#s dispenses wisdom #relationship stuff #something that I'm not sure ive articulated well but im trying to convey is that... it is uncomfortable when people are uncomfortable #with your wealth #so it would probably help your relationship with his family to accept that theyre rich and enjoy the benefits of that #vs being uncomfortable and on edge in their presence #there's a fine balance though between being comfortable and being... imprudent? like taking advantage sort of #and you need to walk that carefully #hence the hostess gifts (good olive oil homemade cookies farmer's market kimchi unusual jam a lavender bundle etc etc) #does that make sense?

[disciplesofhim]

#relationship goals #world events #relationship stuff #romantic

[stormpaw-vibez]

Relationship time shit!! Yippee!!

☆Family☆

Biological mother- Katrina

Biological father- Fidgetminnow

Biological sister- Ivy

Adoptive mother- open

Adoptive father- open

Adoptive siblings- open

☆Other☆

Crush/mate- Saltypaw (oc by @fallencloudsss / @saltypaw)

Friends- Rapidpaw (oc by @shinycantdoit / @honeyandrabid-co), open to more friends

Allies- open

Enemies- open (More like they hate her then she hates them.)

Rivals- open

Mentor- open

#mommyclan #stormpaw (oc) #relationship stuff #im probably forgetting stuff but whatev

[dark-alice-lilith]

I think the worst part of coming out of an absolutely awful breakup and relationship is that now I find myself overly cautious about everything and everything because I’m so fucking terrified of a repeat and I’ve completely shut myself down to talking about myself or fully opening up because last time I did, it ripped my heart out of my chest and I’m still not recovered even though it’s been several months and I’m afraid that I will never recover enough to ever let myself have a main partner ever again. Like I’ll have relationships but I can’t fully invest in anything or anyone without fear of being utterly broken again by lies and cheating and abandonment.

And once again, I will acknowledge I wasn’t perfect either. I acknowledge my bad behavior and part that I played. I just wish everyone else would too.

#personal #relationship stuff

[bone-evidence]

Under the cut is a little poetry and me kinda figuring out what the fuck is up with me rn

My body remembers your heat

Scorching fire through forest canopy

Green things sprout in your wake

But the ashes still hold your memory

So a year ago my last friend group imploded. I won't get into incredible detail, because it was... A lot, if I'm honest. There was a lot wrong with me back then. But I'll get into some for my own posterity.

So not only was it friend group but also my last partner. I was still very very much mourning my relationship with my ex and jumped into a relationship against a friend's wishes. I understand now that I just wanted to feel loved again, feel accepted and seen after honestly a very traumatic time. There was a lot going on at the time mentally with me, I'm pretty sure I was fully delusional about this new relationship and how 'meant to be' it was. So yeah. This one was my fault, and the person I was in a relationship with's fault.

The implosion of all that sucked, it sucked a lot, there wasn't much of a conversation beyond everything I said being completely dismissed (After everything I put this friend through I feel like that's fair tbh). It's been a year and while my conscious mind didn't quite remember, holy fuck my body did!

I've been very anxious, very.... Not social, like I just don't have the words to keep a conversation going. I was doing so good on keeping my room clean but then this hit and I have a lot of laundry to catch up on lmao. The thought 'everyone hates me' has been on my mind a lot lately. I am actively combating that thought because I know that's not true.

I think I'm still coming to terms with everything that happened then tbh? Coming to terms with how I could hurt someone that much, still unlearning some of the shit I had to tell myself to keep going. It sucks. It scares me that I have the capacity to hurt someone like that. I think I've been so closed off because even though I'm more sane, more conscious of the fact that my choices have consequences and I shouldn't throw everything away for a few fleeting moments, I think deep down I'm scared I'll hurt someone again

#mental health #hoooo this one's heavy for me #relationship stuff