#relationship that has love and treats you well eventualyl

[mejomonster]

knew each other in childhood to lovers is always a trope on thin ice for me because i hate the idea of first love being the only true love when like, often in life luck isn’t perfect and we are messy and might need to move on from messy imperfect relationships in youth and learn to make healthier choices and not settle for ppl mean to us like. generally we are not often lucky enough for our 9 year old, 12 year old, 15 year old crushes to actually care the same way back (or us to even care lol) or anyone be mature enough to care about anyone for 2 decades. like if we get lucky some lifetime best friends, if we get Real lucky maybe first love works out. but i like a lot better in stories when its X times of love and finally cause people found good fits who choose each other actively and it works out. i’ve only seen a few shows where that trope has some rights for me lol (tho if you enjoy the trope have fun cause there’s a lot of i imagine good thorough stories with it) ToT:

Till Death Tear Us Apart: money man sugar daddy was deeply in love with childhood friend. Other friend moved on from friendship that had regular value to him, became a spy, only is interacting again cause rich man is so desperate to reconnect and adores him and the spy mess kind of draws them together. they basically fall in love in real time since its the first time knowing each other As rich shady businessman and teacher/SPY. since they changed a lot. also only really a childhood crush on one side. Also the side couple just brand new met each other so even if i had hated the trope in this, it gave me something else too lol

Guardian: BARELY fits into this category, and only for the same reason as above. I realize i’m ok with the young-first-love trope IF and only if it was one sided and basically is still starting from scratch in the present. Shen Wei fell in love with Zhao Yunlan 10k years ago, presumably his first and only love (does he get a pass since he’s an immortal? no but it does make it a bit more cute). But by the time he meets Zhao Yunlan again, he’s GRIEVED and now he’s a new person basically. He’s suspicious and doesn’t know if this even is his lost love (in which case Kunlun used and lied to him and abandoned him), or if its a stranger with his face (ripping his heart open by reminding him of his lost love). For both of them its a cat and mouse of figuring out who each other are, and for Shen Wei its really falling in love anew with this ‘Zhao Yunlan’ for the first time who just happens to bring up complex emotions about his loss - later its an added benefit this is truly Kunlun. (At least in the show, in the novel I think he knows its always Kunlun? Its just still falling in love with a new incarnation). Also very fun that their story is basically an exploration of always one falling in love for the first time, and one already deeply in love for a while. Which is more like chosen soulmates running into each other in any time and place rather than childhood crush to lovers. Feels more like watching Xena/Gabrielle than a childhood crush to lovers. Only applies on a technicality since Shen Wei is sappy and refused to ever try to love besides Kunlun which... I understand, bro is extreme And went through a lot. Like. In a way yes Shen Wei only ever has one first love. But also for him, the process of falling in love with Zhao Yunlan in the present IS him risking falling in love with a new stranger, so its still kind of second love and all the caution of what being hurt/having lost something in the past leaves with you. And of course Zhao Yunlan has had many failed searches for love (in the book baby .... ;-; .... Zhao Yunlan i’m sorry you have such bad luck finding love ... honey). 

Bromance: thin ice ToT. I love this show a lot but was kinda mad about it when i realized the two leads ran into each other as children because one saved the other’s life. Truly the only thing in the show’s entire writing that wasn’t my jam lol. It would’ve been fine if one had just saved the other, but our romantic lead feels kind of like he just imprinted and always wanted to find the person who saved him. While this is mitigated by our lead wanting him to give up looking, letting him know his rescuer feels repaid, and generally both of them just falling in love in real time as adults. So like, its not that bad. Assuming it doesn’t dwell in their childhoods too much more. I get why they wrote it in - one its a super common trope in these shows, two it gave our romantic lead a reason to be INTENSE about trying to find the childhood identity of our other lead (which needed to be happening for certain angles of this plot that aren’t even romance related). So I get it. This show is definitely also given a pass because its setup is so unique and explores some issues romance shows rarely do regarding identity (I think Bureau of Transformers is one of the only other shows I’ve seen do this much regarding exploration of one’s gender identity). also like a bonus our romantic lead is bi, thank you taiwan. You gave me history 3 trapped and now Bromance, i appreciate more bi guys in media. (Bureau of Transformer also managed to give an explicit bi guy lead despite being a cdrama so again, shout out to one of my fave shows!)

 The Guest: ?!!!! Shockingly this ALSO did “knew each other in childhood” as a trope! It has rights though, because NONE of these kids fell in love at the time! They literally just ran into each other during a big murder disaster, got traumatized, went their separate ways. Then as adults minding their own business by luck happen to run into each other and all get mixed up again with the same monster who was responsible for that awful murder night. More a case of ‘coincidence in childhood.’ So not annoying at all. I get why they did it. Also this show is Not romance, so can’t fall into said trope. Though if you see inherent romance in found family, or like me kind of pick up some priest/psychic vibes, then well the trope is just the slightest touch visible lol. 

Word of Honor: Now, apparently lol??! Again, not that annoying, since based on scenes no one had time to fall in love. It was more a case of both kids getting traumatized by having a moment of calm safety then people died (so kind of the Guest vibes but over a period of days/weeks instead of one really sucky night). at a stretch, it might be slightly like Guardian just because Wen Kexing definitely extends more trust than he normally would due to recognizing familiar Four Seasons Manor fight moves and having fond memories of the place. Then having safe memories of kid Zhou Zishu. Likewise to Shen Wei having so many fond memories of Kunlun’s face he cant help but want to do anything to keep Zhao Yunlan alive even when he’s not sure yet if ZYL would kill him/kill his people/if he’s got malicious intent or not in this life or the past in retrospect. Unlike Shen Wei, neither Wen Kexing or Zhou Zishu fell in love in their younger days. Which is why they’re both so excited and over the moon they click so well with someone (considering Who they are and how hard it is to find someone compatible to that). And how they’re both CLINGING now that they think they’ve found a soulmate, and how bitter they are whenever each other’s actions make choosing to be soulmates harder. Oh you know like Wen Kexing going off the rails - Zhou Zishu like fuck can i really decide to make a life with this time bomb, or Zhou Zishu admitting he’s dying - Wen Kexing like damn even if i get my revenge i might not have my new soulmate long and he wasn’t even gonna tell me. Clearly they fell in love as adults, all the childhood stuff is just ICING on the cake of Wen Kexing’s “he already is who i wanted now you tell me he was also the HONEY in my sucky childhood he was that kid i played with the few days i was safe? god really hates me i have to lose this safety TWICE” and Zhou Zishu like “wow not only did i not manage to protect like i was told, thank fuck he is the ONLY disciple i didn’t get killed, i’m even more greatful i didnt destroy him too fuck me i CANNOT lose him he CANNOT get destroyed not even by himself i have ONE good thing and its him please” just some added nails of angst to add to the pain these bitches were already going through circa ep 13. They’re each others hopes and dreams, and to realize they also might be the only things that SURVIVED of their naive childish hopes and dreams as symbols, just makes it that much more terrifying they could lose each other who are literally the Epitome of Hope for decent lives for themselves. With of course their kids. Who are also intensely tied to their hope for a better life and the ability to be good.

#rant #u genuinely can like this trope i just dont #if u dont like this trope then this is a rec list?? lol #i just. so many people have young love where someone was abusive #or they dated a cheater or a liar or someone who simply wasnt fair to them and moved on whenever they saw a new hottie #and like that is fine. thats how young crushes go! people are rarely mature or dedicated or even know what love is #and people dont know what they don't need to put up with. love is supposed to be kind and mutual and respectful #and obviously young love Even well intended sometimes has to figure it out #even if they do end up together forever #so like. i prefer to just see people whove loved and failed fall in love #i prefer those stories where i can imagine the protagonists dated enough to know they WILL NOT put up with being #insulted or bullied or used by a lover #where protagonists know what they value in a relationship and wont tolerate #and thats much easier to run into in adult love stories. versus young love where if they're lucky it never comes p #also just like so many ppl stay in bad relationships too long thinking if ur in love its always worth it when no u are more important than #staying w someone else if they hurt u. even if they say they love u back. #and i think more adults who leave bad situations in media makes it feel hopeful like YES you can leave hurtful people and still find a #relationship that has love and treats you well eventualyl #....guardian and xena are so similar they might be the only passes of actual first love i can tolerate #and gabrielle had another crush. and shen wei basically had to start from scratch so they both had a bit of #awareness of what they really wanted/how much they valued love etc. #anyway i just get annoyed by the trope cause its SO common and i hate if its a shortcut for actually writing #good character arcs and love based on no prior foundation #like. if u really wanna write childhood crush to lover? then i want it to start AT childhood and see them crush and then see that crush #apparently date other ppl if they didnt get together until age 20 or 25 or whatever. #show me how it was messy cause otherwise they would already be together in ur story. show me their GROWTH as people #but instead a lot of stories will just show kids in love then some reason separated then reunite and REALIZE they used to have crushes #like no wheres the 'these people get crushes based on who each other are NOW' #like Begin Again with gong jun? on THIN ice cause it does this TOO #but what i like about how it handled is. its ling rui's reason to want to know if this woman changed/is the same. he doesnt assume she IS