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#relationship things
long-distance-love · 11 months
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Being called "my love" will always be superior to just "love", I will not elaborate.
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Amatonormativity has done irreparable damage to the minds of the youth
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abcd-adventures · 3 months
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It never ceases to annoy me that no matter how much time has passed, my brain can still default to old fears when I am stressed or perceive that something is wrong. My husband has been quiet/a bit distant the last two days and despite wracking my brain and coming up with absolutely nothing that I have done to be the cause of this, my brain still tells me, "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!" And, then, there is the litany of things that in my looong-ago relationship would have caused my partner to be angry with me (utterly ridiculous shit usually related to my appearance or NORMAL interactions with others); those come up and all the old insecurities become front-and-center despite the years I've spent confronting them. Cool, Brain. Cool.
It has been almost TWENTY YEARS since I was with my ex-husband. (Holy shit...time is crazy and passes so fast.) It very much pisses me off that there are still threads of that relationship in my healthy, loving, 18-year relationship with my current husband. Obviously, I know--intellectually--that this is normal and that everyone carries their baggage...aaaaand it's even kind of my job to help people deal with that...but it still pisses me off when it's an issue for me! Lol And, knowing something intellectually doesn't magically make it easy to deal with. If only.
I know myself and my husband well enough to know the timing of when to bring something up. So, last night, after a mental reality check for myself and when B was in bed and we were both done with chores, I told my husband totally frankly that I knew something was going on with him and while I respect his need for space and to process it and that he could tell me or not tell me in his own time, I needed him to let me know if I had done anything to upset him and I reminded him why I needed to know (he is familiar with the details of my previous relationship). It led to the best conversation, and I was reminded for the millionth time how grateful I am to have my husband. As crazy as my brain is, it is still--at baseline--solidly aware that my husband is a source of stability. He is here to stay and he loves me. I KNOW that. My brain still goes crazy, but because I truly know that about my husband, I can systematically go through all the crazy thoughts and dismiss them. I feel so. fucking. lucky to have that, and I know how rare it is.
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ynnuf-ekaf · 1 year
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gdrflxboy-gayace · 1 year
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"boring adult things" I'm excited for in my (queerplatonic) relationship
my recently new relationship has got me thinking that adult life isn't so terrible. someday I get to do these things, yknow?
figure out how to cat-proof our apartment together (both regularly and for christmas decorations, the tree)
decorate our apartment. the living room omg
decide who gets which bedroom and view blahblah
organizing our bathroom, ie shower products + the counter
hugging each other while one does the dishes because "ohmygod thank you I hate doing the dishes" "I love you too"
being who your partner brings to work events (like holiday parties or social events they're supposed to bring a guest with)
setting a budget together, using our strengths and weaknesses financially
grocery shopping
first moving in together after college and having to work out our career paths together
teasing each other over our "silly" food preferences (ex: the consistency of mashed potatoes, which cheese is best, fork or spoon for ___, etc) but strictly sticking to them anyways when the other cooks
picking a standard-ish time we want our dinner to be every night
watching jeopardy together
one of us taking off our jacket and shoes and immediately collapsing onto the couch with the other, taking time to hear about each other's days and feel at home
we don't intend to live in our home state, so navigating that independently while together at the same time
memorizing each other's orders (even more so) and surprising the other with coffee or treats occasionally
making the other's bed (we already sort of do this, also separate beds)
cuddling on the couch, one falls asleep and the other can't move without waking them so they set an alarm 'cause they know the sleepy one has work in the morning
if we do marriage for tax benefits kind of thing, doing taxes together
planning our holiday visits together -- who are we going to see when, buying plane tickets or choosing a route
using our vacation days every now and then to just do something small together
not seeing each other a lot for a few days because of bad work schedules and then choosing to spend time near each other no matter what other things have to get done -- you're cleaning the bathroom? sweet I'll help you, I miss you (the key to this is that the work schedules mean you just have more alone time, not that you don't have *any* time)
sharing calendars n stuff
working out family things together. giving distance when needed but discussing issues like parents aging, sibling emergencies, attending funerals
making sure we've taken new medications we're not used to remembering yet
supporting each other's new habits, like stretching every night or wearing a retainer (*nervous laughter*) or drinking a certain amount of water or eating less red meat
in my case, planning out when I eat nuts because of my partner's tree nut allergies
miserably cleaning out terribly silly things to clean like the oven but Together and with Music so it's tolerable
grabbing the mail for the other person
going to go vote together (have already done this but <3)
taking out the trash together
going to our high school reunion and afterwards we're just like "wow. huh. kay bye losers. shall we go get custard?"
the point is, I can't wait to keep spending the rest of my life with this person
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yours-trudy · 1 year
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One simple trick to spice up the relationship and keep the people in the relationship on their toes.
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engravedinsanity · 13 days
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🚩 red flags aren’t always about the other person. When you start lying to yourself about who they are so that you don’t have to face losing them, that’s the flag to pay attention to. 
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xiaq · 2 years
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Due to Reasons I pretty much exclusively use period underwear/washable pads during Shark Week. I have a cute little laundry bag that I keep them in separate from our normal hamper, and I wash them separately from our clothes. I put them in the washer this morning and then left to run errands.
I got home to find all my underwear/pads that I've tried very hard to keep out of sight/out of mind since moving in with my partner carefully laid out on our drying rack in the sun on the porch.
Me: you...took care of my laundry?
B: yes? they finished while you were gone and I didn't want them to sit there wet.
Me: thank you?? you really didn't have to do that. like I do not expect that of you at all.
B: (baffled by my bafflement) but why wouldn't I?? I do the rest of our laundry, I can do that too.
So I guess I should just stop making assumptions based on prior experiences.
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isnt-she-lovelee · 3 months
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Got back from staying with my bf for a week today, and while I'm sad that it's over, there were lots of little moments that made me so happy so I thought I'd tell you a few.
Walking back from being out all day and he just starts poking me in the ribs and making tickly gestures at me
Chilling in his room and I made a cheesy joke, and his response was to pin me down and tickle me until I took it back... I lasted about two minutes 😭
He held my arms above my head and because I was being the brat that I am, he had to use both hands, so he proceeded to use his nose to tickle me (it worked more than you'd expect)
He was being absolutely merciless with me and just kept giving me this look that absolutely melted me... Like really smiling like he was enjoying it and looking all mischievous... MY GOD 🫠
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thegreenfaerie · 1 year
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i know i can be hard to deal with sometimes, i know my feelings can be sensitive, but man, the love i have for you, cannot be repeated.
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hxllishchild · 12 days
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Anyone else’s girl obsessed with Pinterest? 😅
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sweetkisschaos · 5 months
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I hope I get to keep this one for a long time
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niroke · 8 months
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Why do partners take the ugliest picture of you you've ever seen and think it's the cutest thing ever
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nocturnaldolll · 8 months
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The feminine urge to send him my entire fyp while he’s asleep because I miss him. 🤝🏻
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One of my favorite ship dynamics:
Mister meaningless sex hypersexual becomes the most romantic and sentimental whipped man alive for one woman because he was always meant to be with her and she just hits every nerve for him, completely changing his world and shifting his approach and perspective on everything
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scarlikebite · 1 month
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Okay, while this is sweet all on its own, it means so much more to me too. For actual years we’ve been working on communication and him letting me know when something isn’t my fault. So getting this today and him saying that just made my heart squeeze.
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