I do things the way that works for me, not necessarily the way that society things they should be done. I get secretive and defensive because I know what I’m doing is okay, but other people often don’t think so. My choices are often denigrated, pathologized, and misunderstood.
I distance myself from people. I don’t want a long-term relationship. I’ll sleep with someone who’s married, if I have their spouse’s permission and it feels okay.
People say that friendships die without regular contact. That’s not my experience! I maintain a lot of friendships, that regularly have months-long stretches of no contact And then we bounce back into each other’s lives.
My band goes on two-week long tours once or twice a year. We’re super-close and often end up sleeping in the same room (or same bed!). But then we leave and don’t talk to each other for a while. It’s not the we don’t like each other, we just live in 3 different states.
I’m so used to defending myself against people, that I’m a bit befuddled when my nurse and therapist are both supportive of my lifestyle.
“If it was causing you distress, that would be a problem.. But what you’re doing is working for you. You don’t want to be surrounded by people, so you’re not. But you have plenty of rewarding friendships. You and your friends seem content with how things are… I don’t see the problem.”
The problem is that society keeps telling me that’s not how friendships work.
The problem is that a woman who wants to live alone is viewed as weird and creepy.