#religion makes people happy which is more than can be said abt you

[inkedmyths]

S1: E12 "Faith"

Brought to you by Crepe bribing me with Flight Rising money

[ Kayla asks if it was worth it to sell your soul to capitalism. Crepe said yes. I agree. I may have to endure on but now I have more money for my dragons. This will, unfortunately, always work on me. ]

Cuz you gotta have faith-uh faith-uh faith-uh

Oh we're starting out with the Winchesters? No mysterious deatb if some random person?

[ Kayla interjects with Carry On My Wayward Son. I get flashbacks to playing it on repeat when I initially began this journey. ]

Oooough closeeeet Dean I'm sure you're scared of that

[ Kayla asks Crepe if Dean does any homoeroticism in S1 aside from being too happy about getting pinned to a car. Crepe says no. This does not matter to me, I will make the joke anyways. ]

There are children! Hello children!

Ew what is that

UH Dean buddy that canNOT be healthy

HOSPITAL

HEART ATTACK???

Hi Dean! You look like shit!

:(

Dean you are too chill with your mortality but also Sam is WAY too not chill about it

JOHN WINCHESTER PICK UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE. BITCH

Sam. Sam no

I mean I know Dean is still sround for however many fucking seasons but

DEAN DID YOU BREAK OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. MORON

Why are you both stupid

[ Kayla says this is the parentified child vs child he parentified effect. Which. Yeah fair. ]

Dean: Sam what kinda crazy religion place are you bringing me to

DEAN STOP FLIRTING WITH EVERY LADY YOU MEET. DUMBASS BITCH

[ Kayla says that he's a whore and to leave him alone. That the sluttiest thing a man can do is be an older brother. Kayla is this some kind of kink for you. ]

GOD NO I DIDN'T EVEN GO TO ONE OF THESE KINDS OF CHURCHES BUT. HRGH. HORRIBLE. I want to leave

LMAO CALLED OUT DEAN

LAUGHING im sorry watching Dean get throwm on the spot. Poor dumbass

Go up Dean this is your personal hell now

[ Crepe says no, wrong season. Lovely. ]

Dean having that face that I feel so deeply in my soul whenever someone tries to preacg Christianity to me

FUCKING. HAND AGAINST HIS HEAD poor Dean's face shshshs

UHHH WHAT WAS THAT. WHAT WAS THAT FIGURE

Oh. Oh my god it traded his life for his

O h n o

This is interesting and good but its also so fucking spooky the vibes

Ohhhh something. Something wanted Dean to live.

[ Kayla and Crepe go back and forth about how Supernatural is technically a horror show, though this is dropped somewhat in later seasons. What the fuck did I get myself into. ]

What the fuck is up w/Layla (Leilah?)

Oh :( poor girl

And Dean was the one who got healed so he's :((

"Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?" man

Dean's like 😟

Chick in the woods? Girl whats up?

Girl is abt to die for this old guy

A REAPER?

The music shdhdhdhsh

Thats pretty banger ngl. Whats this song anywas.... Death In The Valley?

NOT ME LOOKING IT UP ON SPOTIFY AND GETTING A PLAYLIST FOR SPN SOUNDTRACK?

DOG LEASH ON A GREAT WHITE

SCREAMS the guy handing out pamphlets "Roy is a fraud"

Dean: Amen brother

Sam: You keep up the good work!

Man: Thank you

God its so interesting storywise but also the vibes are Upsetting

Sam committing breaking and entering all by himself good for him

IS THE CHURCH GUY MURDERING PEOPLE HE DOESN'T LIKE BY SAVING OTHERS

HE IS. HOMOPHOBIC! LITERALLY

GOOOOOD SHIT FUCK nooo i dont wanna watch anymore I don't like confrontation and oough BAD VIBES

Im turning on captions hold on

LAYLA I KNEW IT

Noooooooooooo besties I Cannot

Guys this is UPSETTING

I keep pausing 😭

I'm like stop starting bc I would rather read than hear WHASGSFAFAF

[ Crepe is grinding in Coliseum on Flight Rising to pay me more so I watch more. I can't tell if I'm genius for this or not. ]

Oh the poor guy screaming and Sam being like WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT

Oh I stopped started so much Netflix crashed LMAO

Hrrrgh yeah yeah ok compelling but I want to crawl up a tree

Oh shes still praying

AH YES DEAN GETS TAKEN AWAY. ARRESTED. AGAIN

Ohhh its his wife.... his wife couldn't stand to lose him.... oh.......

"God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work." hey who gave this show the right

[ Kayla says "Remember when I told you this show was sometimes really good?" I tell her to fuck off. She says I'm only proving her point. I call her a bitch. This has no effect. ]

SAM BESTIE U DID IT TO SAVE DEAN CAN U NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONFLICT HERE

LMAO DEAN JUST YELLS AT THE COPS AND THEY CHASE HIM THATS SO FUNNY

A+ plan buddy

Godddd the vibes are so ick and tragic but man

MAN I LOVE WHEN THINGS TAKE CHRISTIANS AND MAKE THEM FUCKED UP

Dean buddy get ready to run again

"The Lord chose me" NO IT FUCKIN DIDN'T

Sams gonna like smack her huh

Oh that Reaper did NOT like being bound

Something something metaphor for controlling death

Winchester Patented Guilt Complex

Oh she still has faith even when she's got a bad diagnosis :(

GODDAMMIT NO DONT

; - ;

So like Dean Winchester Aetheist Extraordinaire saying "I'm not much of a praying type... but I'll pray for you" is something that can be so personal actually

Don't. Don't touch me go away

Fuck you guys for making me watch this show I'm tearing up I hate you all

-

In conclusion: OKAY DEAN WINCHESTER LIKERS MAYBE I GET IT. But also fuck off fuck all of you I hate it here goddamn you AUGH I WASNT EXPECTING TO TEAR UP OVER THIS FUCK YOOOOOOOU

#on the highway to superhell #ink actually has an emotion about spn count: 1 #god fuck all of you. im watching another ep

[felikatze]

the recent chapters r really making me like olivia like damn. at first she's just kinda this pitiful person to be saved from her awful situation, yeah? but the story still says, "her survival is super important, actually" and it doesn't rlly click. cuz after she's free olivia turns into a bit of a stock character.

she's then just always kinda flirty and irresponsible and clingy. and that makes sense to me, cuz her upbringing was super strict and repressive, so she wants to sever all ties with that and is acting in the opposite way than she was raised. priests of her religion aren't allowed to marry so she starts flirting with reinhardt not because she's romantically interested in him but because she enjoys the promiscuity and he's the one who helped her most so he's easiest to talk to like this. this also shows especially in how she reacts to compliments back; she becomes easily flustered because the flirting is just a face she puts on for fun and beneath that she's still deeply inexperienced with such things.

the sponsorship event chapters really hammer home that she's a kind person truly deserving the title of saint. she's been raised to do good and be kind that she doesn't know how to live for herself at all.

add to that the gradual collapse of her religious beliefs. obviously she cuts ties with the knights templar cuz they tried to kill her and her own stepdad lead the charge to do so, resulting in a distrust toward the gods, because what kind god would have followers like this? but she at least still believes the gods exist. But then the tiamata arc happens and she discovers that even the gods themselves are a falsehood. the gods of purity and corruption are the same being in two directions; so if your own faith decides the nature of your god, does said god exist at all? if your will shapes god's will, does god have a will at all? she's basically discovered this setting's version of atheism.

tlde she's just plain lost. And yeah the novel is always blatant abt feeding you character details like this but i still think it's set up well.

all her eccentric behaviours are attempts to find herself but nothing sticks. she has no more dreams, no ambitions, just drifting with the flow. she just doesn't know how to have ambitions not dictated to her, how to do anything besides following orders.

and again like. the story says "her survival is going to change things" and we learn its bcuz olivia is an insane fucking powerhouse who can outclass ellen. and with her being the way she is now, any faction could snap her up. she'd just go with the first one that suited her fancy. as long as its not the knights templar, she'll be fine with anything.

which i think reflects a lot of people with impending graduation on the horizon? i sure know when i finished high school i didnt know what to do. i'm happy with my career path atm but i also feel like i could've been happy doing anything else. i just stumbled into it. olivia reflects that feeling of not knowing who you want to be, with all these external pressures, religion, family, peers, that have all these expectations for her.

also how the story then immediatly contrasts this against reinhardt. he's presented as like, a pretty selfish, self-assured character. he knows who he is and what he wants. but olivia asks him, "do you?" and challenges him to reevalute. cuz is he selfish? he's just acting that way, when he's actually concerned with the well-being of others above all, same as olivia. the only thoughts he'll spare for himself are for his own survival.

and like, again!! olivia was putting on a selfish seeming face when she's fundamentally still just kind beneath it all and both of them don't know how to be any other way!!

hell, even the circumstances are similar! olivia ditched the knights templar to save her own life but doesnt know what to do with the life she saved, and reinhardt escaped the demon king's castle to save his own skin. the main difference here is reinhardt is still working toward averting the crisis he's written into prophecy. he's still essentially trapped in the beginning of olivia's arc. so comparing the two is asking what will he do when the world's saved?

Chapter 244 i am kissing you on the mouth.

#feli speaks #the demon prince goes to the academy #long post #RAMBLE TIME. #also sidenote another epic win for the aro reinhardt agenda because this all deconstructs the seeming attraction olivia had for reinhardt #which was fucking WEIRD because she's 22 and he is (seemingly) 16 #but doing it like this takes away the One Aspect i disliked abt her so now i love her actually. you go olivia. #please learn some self-respect girl. i know you can do it #also another sidenote. god bless that one post that shows how to make readmores on mobile #otherwise yall would be dead five times over #dont have anyone to be autistic abt this series with so tumblr will have to do!!!

[madmaddyenby]

/rp /dsmp

ok so- c!tommy. we are all aware he’s traumatized, and experiences ptsd from being in traumatic experiences, this is basically fact.  while i’d like to talk how c!tommy experiences ptsd, i’d like to bring up a thing i haven’t seen mentioned a lot when it comes to c!tommy and his trauma- c-ptsd.  also known as complex-ptsd.   it occurs when someone experiences something traumatizing for a period of time.

[image description: A screenshot of text with the words “CPTSD stands for Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is a mental health condition in which a person might experience intense PTSD symptoms that coincide with other mental issues. CPTSD occurs in people who have been subjected to on going traumatizing experiences”. end description]

which, as we know, the exile arc fits the description of “ongoing traumatizing experiences” pretty fucking well.  the exile was basically just two weeks of trauma.  for a lot of reasons too, there was dream abusing tommy, tommy being isolated, tommys own depression/suicidal thoughts/bad mindset in general.   this would all be considered a ongoing traumatizing experience(s).  

ptsd is very similar to c-ptsd in how it develops, but ptsd occurs after one singular traumatizing event . (by the way, the event doesnt have to be life or death, it could be something like witnessing or hearing about a shocking event!!!)

symptoms of c-ptsd overlap with ptsd a good lot of the time, due to them both being trauma disorders.  however, there are a few differences.  here r some symptoms of c-ptsd, alot of which are ptsd symptoms that alot ofpeople with c-ptsd experience as well

reliving the traumatic experience

avoiding certain situations 

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

hyperarousal (jitteriness, being on alert, etc)

somatic symptoms (physical symptoms with no underlying cause)

lack of emotional regulation 

change in consciousness

negative self-perception

difficulty with relationships

distorted reception of abuser

loss of system of meanings

now, i’ll go over which of these fit our boy c!tommy, and how they fit for some of them atleast.  i will only be talking about the things that are a result from c-ptsd, but also c-ptsd works where it coincides with other mental illnesses a person has so.  its also important to note that within a person these symptoms might not stay the same over time, and not everyone who has c-ptsd or ptsd is going to experience it the same.   (so not talking abt how pain affects him after dying in the prison, though that is a clear sign of ptsd) 

reliving the traumatic experience

tommy’s done this with exile a few times, when revisiting logstedshire, when he saw the craters in logstedshire, when visiting dream in prison, when during the disc finale dream dug the hole and told him to put his armour in, etc etc, he’s even described himself as being trembly in the fingers near plain biomes, while visting logsted he mentioned how shaky it made him to be there, and when he visited logsted one time he had an immediate reaction to seeing a hole in the ground that came off as him reliving it. flashbacks come in from sensations during a traumatic event, like sight, feeling, emotion, etc, etc.  it seems like with these he’s experiencing more of a reliving the emotions kind of thing. 

avoiding certain situations 

i was originally not gonna include this one, but thinking about it, he kind of does in a way.   this symptom also includes keeping yourself preoccupied to avoid thinking about it, which is something c!tommy seems to do alot.  with focusing on building the hotel, and doing tasks, or grinding for supplies instead of actually thinking about it.  

changes in beliefs and feelings about yourself and others

c!tommy uh. does this a lot.  a lot of it stems from how during exile tommy was isolated and made to believe no one cared for him, and even if that wasn’t true c!tommy never really got much closure on that.  hes not really trusting ppl that b4 were really close to him, tubbo n ranboo for example

lack of emotional regulation

this can also be described as uncontrollable feelings.  this is the one i’ve wanted to talk about the most i think- because this is really fits c!tommy.  he tends to lash out alot, for example burning the flower c!ranboo gave him, there are a bunch more examples of this that include him yelling at others, that one time when he spleefed c!jack 

negative self-perception

yeah.  theres a few examples of this one, the one that first comes to mind is that time during the green festival where he was talking about how he was worse than everyone he didn’t wanna be (including his abuser, c!dream...) .  theres now when he was building his tower by the prison when he was saying he couldn’t use the cobble because it was too him, and people didnt like the cobble. alot of this i think comes from c!dream making him feel basically worthless in exile :(

difficulty with relationships

  Yeah. um.  Alot for this one!!! The first to come to mind is c!tubbo.  c!tommy and c!tubbos relationship is very very wonky, especially considering recent events with tommy feeling like he is being replaced with c!ranboo.  (which he isnt by the way! he just feels as though, which is a valid feeling for him to have :]) .  another person that comes to mind is c!ranboo.  he’s even mentioned how his and ranboos relationship goes back and forth quite alot.  its not very surprising to see that he has difficulty with relationships especially considering a lot of the reason that the exile affected him so badly was because he felt so alone and was so isolated from his friends.  another thing that comes to mind, is when he made c!sam sign that contract promising hat he’d be his best friend and protect him.  theres most likely way more that can be said here, but this is the first stuff that comes to mind.  

distorted reception of abuser

um... yeah.  this one.  this can also be described as , “ becoming preoccupied with the relationship between you and your abuser. It can also include preoccupation with revenge or giving your abuser complete power over your life. “  which is um.  yeah.  c!tommy.  he’s mentioned how whenever he’s around c!dream he feels like hes conditioned to be his friend (which. yea . he was .).  right after he left logstedshire this was very very prominent, he was the biggest c!dream apologist around (/j), saying things like “dream didnt do anything wrong” and even explaining how he wasnt sure about things when it comes to c!dream, that his mind became flip floppy whenever he thought about him.   right now, hes focused on getting back at c!dream, not fully for revenge, mainly for his friends and how he doesnt want c!dream to go around killing and reviving everyone, but the point still stands.  (this all makes me extra sad because he had gone to the prison the second time in the first place to get closure :(( )

loss of system of meanings

Systems of meaning refer to your religion or beliefs about the world.  This can also refer to getting a strong sense of hopelessness or despair about the world, which as of late mainly c!tommy seems to have.  mainly referencing in his stream where he visited dreams bunker, he was asking what the point was of finding things that made him happy if dream was just going to get out the prison and destroy it.  theres also a few things that also go with this, in one stream while he burnt down ponks lemon tree for sam nook he said  "thats still decaying, but yknow, arent we all." and that one time when he gave that hotel invitation to c!techno he was like “ahahha we could die tomorrow anyway” 

-

its also important to note that, “Any type of long-term trauma, over several months or years, can lead to CPTSD. However, it seems to appear frequently in people who’ve been abused by someone who was supposed to be their caregiver or protector. “ Which is.. fairly accurate in c!tommy’s situation.  c!dream might’ve not been a caregiver or protector necessarily but he was still someone that was looking after him yknow? 

there are most likely more things than what i layed out that show that c!tommy most likely also has cptsd, however this is just the stuff that i thought up :] add to the post if you’d like to!

(also this isn’t saying that c!tommy doesnt have ptsd, he had both ptsd and c-ptsd. also i am not an expert about ptsd, cptsd, or mental health in general, if i got any information wrong let me know)

#depression tw #abuse tw #suicide tw #suicidal thoughts tw #exile arc #isolation tw #ig ? #trauma tw #c!tommy #tommyinnit #dream smp #dsmp #meta #dsmp meta #long post #death tw #i can not stress enough that this is just the character #all roleplay and characters #not talking abt the real ppl! #also i hope the id for the screenshot works or whatever its the first time ive ever put one

[aurora-daily]

I have been in a youtube comment conversation and it was all about esoteric symbolism and the other person mentioned even Aurora use this to communicate with other celebrities and the other person also told me that she is worshipping something which the other person mentioned as 'opposite to god'. I don't know how much of this is true. Can you clarify me on any of these, i am so sorry if i am spamming with false information, i just love this Queendom so much and i want to know more abt d fandom❤

Hello, warrior!

Well, I have never seen or heard any comments from her about worshipping anything. As for her beliefs in general, we had early statements like from 2016 intervew for DN.no (the translation of which you can find here) where she was asked the following:

Do you believe in God?

“I am very spiritual. And I think. I hope it’s something that is much cleaner and more beautiful than us, who can inspire us to be as clean and beautiful as well. But I do not think we are punished if we make mistakes. It does not sound like something a clean and wise power would. But I think, I hope, at least, that there is something bigger than us. Religion has been the cause of mass war, and it is yet. But faith can also give courage and hope to people who are far down. I think that’s really beautiful.“

“The closest we get to the Divine, is love. To be loved or to love someone. Even when they do not love us back, we just want them to be happy. Also when we help absolute strangers only because we want them to have it a little better. There is something magical about it. So maybe I believe in humanity [rather than God]. Maybe we have something pure and beautiful in us.“

Also, sorry I can't dig up further, she also has been reflecting a lot about life and death matter before and after releasing IOADK, so you could hear about her belief in afterlife which was also seen in her very early song, like "Under Stars". Nothing was about anything "opposite to god".

Aurora has a witty mind and is genuenly interested in all kinds of symbolism from different cultures and quite keen to use it in all ways possible to convey some secret meanings with them. She’s very interested in witchcraft, for example, like she once said here in a story “Being a witch is very fun” but, at the same time, we can’t quite know for sure whether she calls herself a witch several times just because it’s a big fun getting to know about the witchcraft or because she considers herself as one with all the according rules, rituals, and stuff. On one of her photos of the room or during a quarantine livestream, don't remember for sure rn, you could also see some books on witchcraft, symbolism and psychology!

That's basically all that I could gather from information given by her officially!

Have a nice day!

- Nikol

#ask #anonymous

[enby-enderdragon]

Dude please tell me abt ur mc worldbuilding

Mx Elliott Whycraft, my beloved, I would give you the biggest hug right now if I could

Okie, okie, so its mostly just a pantheon of gods that I’ve made, but I do also have some ideas for, like, holidays and things that would happen on those holidays and things that certain followers of certain deities would do, but I digress. I’ll just tell you about the deities I chose mostly since I don’t wanna be too rambly. I can save the other details for other asks if people really wanna know about that. This is gonna go under a cut bc this might end up being a long post. Like I said, unfortunately for you guys, I’m very autistic and religion worldbuilding is a special interest of mine.

Uhhhhh, warning, possibly some bits that could be considered Slimecicle Cinematic Universe spoilers if you haven’t seen “The HARDEST Minecraft Difficulty” yet??

So, the first deity I chose, of course, is DreamXD, shortened down to XD. He’s the big king of the gods and he has the epithet of “the Prime” since he’s one of the bigger and more worshipped deities in the pantheon. Things like Church Prime in the DreamSMP and Techno’s channel member bell fall under his domain. XD is specifically the god of order and life so, as mortals began to worship the pantheon, it felt natural for XD to rise to the position of God King. XD is also the protector of the Dragon’s Realm. It’s his job to make sure that, if the Enderdragon ever has to die, that she is only killed A) she absolutely has to be because he’s very attached to his Dragons and B) he always makes the the Dragon has a successor.

The second deity I chose was Drista. No one is really sure how old Drista is, not even the other gods, because she’s the goddess of chaos, so she’s XD’s counterpart and has to have been around since the first chaotic thing happened in the mortal plane, but she appears very young compared to the other gods and she’s referred to in the mortal scriptures with the epithet of “the Young”. Drista falls under with the duty of being the protector of childhood and children in general, which only adds to her epithet. Aside from all that, she’s also the guide for souls of the dead into the Afterlife.

The third deity I chose was Grizzly. Now, a lot of mortal scripture about Grizzly was lost because his stories used to be burned when people would try to write them. A lot of people passed his stories around orally, but still, a lot of the scriptures were lost and mortals can’t truly now a lot about what happened with him. The biggest things that survived history of his stories is that he is the god of the forge and of mischief, but one day, he had a falling out with the other gods and they cast him out of the Pantheon Proper, which earned him the epithet of “the Fallen”. Nowadays, stories say that Grizzly is the King of the Damned, but no mortals know for sure exactly what that means.

The fourth deity is Condi. Condi is one of the oldest gods in the pantheon, even older than XD by millennium. Condi is the god of magick, so he was the deity that separated the Three Realms from each other. There’s rumors of a secret fourth realm that Condi uses as an escape from the other gods, but again, those are just rumors. No one has ever been able to craft a proper portal to this secret realm, but still, the realm of the Aether is mentioned too many times in scriptures for it to be a coincidence, right? Anyway, Condi also the Weaver of Fate, so, as you can imagine, he’s a very busy god. He has the epithet of “the Wise” because, if you’re gonna have this much shit going on as a god, you’ve gotta be wise.

The fifth deity is Bizly. Bizly, even by the other gods, is considered weak and useless, as he’s the god of animals and monsters. Most of the other gods will ignore him and couple of the other gods can be outright mean to him for no reason. This earned him the epithet of “the Dismissed”. Because of the way that the other gods treat him, Bizly took it upon himself to be the protector of the weak and underdogs. To mortals, he also become equivalent with the start of spring, so a lot of mortal stories call him the “bringer of new starts”.

The sixth deity is Foolish, of fucking course. He’s the god of storms and the seas and, even though his domains are usually very rough things to mortals, he himself is a very chill god (these days) and he doesn’t really interact with the other gods unless he ABSOLUTELY has to. He tends to spend most of his time as the protector of Mizu, a legendary city that is said to live under the deepest parts of the mortal oceans that houses only the most holy artifacts and important scriptures of the gods. There’s a specific rune that was created that is said to be a sigil of Foolish and it’s supposed to bring great wealth to a person if they draw it on themself. Foolish has the epithet of “the Undying” because I’m uncreative cgvhjbkgv

The seventh deity is Kristin, the goddess of death, because I have to. Again, she’s a goddess that doesn’t really like interacting with the other deities if she doesn’t have to. She tends to spend most of her time tending to the souls of the Afterlife, making sure everyone is happy and cared for and with their loved ones if they can be. The only deity that she has constant contact with is Drista, since the younger goddess helps her collect the souls of the dead. Kristin is known to take pity on a few souls that have no one every now and then and she’ll make them into angels and let them roam the mortal worlds again until they die and then they’re dead for real with no take-backs.

The eighth deity is Irene. She’s a very flighty goddess, not known to stick around in one place for long. As the protector of the Mortal Realm, she does her best to make sure that every mortal has a happy and healthy life on the earth. She’s typically the goddess of medicine and family in most portrayals of her scriptures, but there are a few places that will cast her as a more “dark” (using that word lightly because I can’t think of a better one) goddess of apathy and discord. Those mythos as that “darker” goddess are very rare, however. She has the epithet of “the Matron” and she’s the only recorded goddess to be referred to with the title of “Lady”. The other goddesses don’t seem to like that title.

The ninth deity is Herobrine. He’s the god of both the sun and the moon, so a lot of mortal legends say that the sun and moon are his glowing eyes and he’s watching over the mortals and he’ll punish any greedy or malevolent mortals. Because of that line of mythos, Herobrine earned the epithet of “the Watcher”. He’s known for collecting wayward souls that are stuck between Grizzly’s Damned Kingdom and Kristin’s Afterlife and he’ll make a wayward soul into an assistant of sorts to help him watch over the realm and punish mortals. Sometimes, his Watchers can get a little overzealous and will take in souls that aren’t ready yet, but Herobrine never forces a soul to stay if they don’t want to and lets them go back to the mortal realm.

The tenth and final deity is False. Yes, Miss False “Supremacy” Symmetry herself is a goddess. Specifically, she’s the goddess of war and blood. She, again, is a goddess that doesn’t much like the other gods and stays away from them as much as she can. In scripture, she’s never referred to by name because legends say that, if you speak her proper name, she’ll appear and kill your entire land or family or whatever. Most texts and stories refer to her either as “the Blood God” or by her epithet of “Animus”. She’s considered the herald of the winter months and she’s also the protector of the Nether Realm.

#thanks a bunch for the ask! <3 #voidfoxstarlight #elliott’s tag #do i main tag this? #yeah…. #i want infodump validation yvgbhjkn #dreamxd #church prime #dream smp #dsmp #drista #slimecicle cinematic universe #grizzlyplays #fallen grizzly #bizly #condifiction #foolish gamers #mumza #mumza goddess of death #I AM NOT TAGGING IR///NE OR HERO #the watchers #watchers evo #falsesymmetry #hermitcraft #ambrosia au #<<these gods are for that fic mostly but im gonna use these just generally as well

[piratemadi]

please make your critical post of supernatural those are literally the only posts about supernatural i care about, especially since i side eye the heck out of the many people who give supernatural a pass because they ship two boring white dudes (dean and castiel) PLEASE

omg ok nobody make fun of me for posting an earnest criticism of this show i enjoy critical analysis and being a hater

i think most of why this show sucks has already been covered pretty thoroughly but these r the main things abt it that piss ME off.

the racism runs so SO deep. supernatural is supposed to be an exploration of americana thru horror (and i’ll give them that. like the idea of deconstructing america and all its fallacies thru horror is genius and in competent hands it would be absolutely incredible. but anyway) but it only really scrapes the surface of what is inherently horrific about americana! something like that is supposed to be an INTERROGATION of monstrosity and how america (and western society more broadly) creates monsters out of human beings and how white christian morals are established as the ONLY acceptable morals and how anyone who falls outside of those norms (non christian, non white, lgbt, people with substance use disorders, prisoners, the poor, indigenous people/cultures etc) are monsterized, so to speak, because of an oppressive and unloving colonial society. like u cannot have a horror narrative abt monsters attacking family values and white suburban life without invoking some very old and racist conventions! but instead of subverting that supernatural just reinforces it! it consistently fails to make any kind of real statement because the most demonized parts of society are the people who are also treated the WORST in canon! native american beliefs are stolen and turned into stupid bogeymen without the show ever featuring a native character or seriously grappling with the inherent violence of america as a colonial state, black men are consistently portrayed as angry and evil while black women are treated like shit (dean’s happy ending at the end of s5 is with a white woman he fucked one time instead of with the black woman who he was in love with??), impoverished people are mostly ignored and when they’re not theyre monsters (theres one episode centered around a poor rural family that commits murder and cannibalism. no supernatural stuff or monsters. just poor people. thats the scare).

theres this consistent fixation on preserving american suburbia, on saving “normal” (read: white middle class) people and it sets up this dynamic of like. the “real world” is the white middle class and then there’s hunters including our mains who defend that “real world” against monsters and demons, which is just Everything Else. and the writers PRETEND to struggle w the question of monsters and what makes one but they just toss it around without ever actually committing to answering that question with compassion or narrative coherency. they have multiple episodes about characters who were raised human, who want to be human, but have to be killed because of an inherent evil nature. there’s a plot in the early seasons about how one of the main characters has demonic powers, and instead of saying that doesnt make him inherently bad and he’s allowed to fully access all parts of himself without being fundamentally evil, they consistently frame intrinsically neutral traits as inherently evil specifically because they go against a christian ideal of morality! and eventually he learns to suppress these powers and that’s that!

and then it establishes christianity as the guiding principle of america, not in a way of like “american culture and history is deeply steeped in white supremacist protestantism that has led to incredibly fucked up views on god and love and morality and thats what we have to deal with as people who live here”, but in a way of like “the christian god is real and he’s a white guy who fucking hates you.” which like. Ok. they bastardize and trivialize any religions that arent christian while building the entire series on christianity. Ok. like i guess its possible to write stories about white christianity without implying that every other religion is full of shit but supernatural did not do that on any level

its also just. really poorly written. i genuinely loved the first season i thought it was really well paced and that the characters were introduced really well like the first season is a GOOD horror story in terms of family as horror and the inherent terror of americana. but the pacing and the character development started tripping up in s2. by s3 they started raising the stakes Exponentially which honestly is such a kiss of death for good fiction like every season mounting a bigger badder antagonist than the last one is the surest way to kill a story bc it means the earlier entries in that story become basically meaningless in the face of the new bad guy. u dont need to raise the stakes to write a good story! a well written story abt the horror and drama of a close knit and unhealthy family caught up in something they don’t really understand isn’t Less emotionally resonant than, like, having to stop the world from ending, because at the end of the day its Fiction and none of it matters beyond what u can make the audience really Feel. im not gonna feel sorrow if 7 billion fake little people die. i didnt cry when the death star blew up whatever planet it blew up. what DOES make me feel sorrow is a few truly well written characters whose relationships are complicated and tragic and whose motivations i can understand and whose inner lives i can imagine. raising the stakes destroys a good story and thats exactly what happened to supernatural (not that the racism and misogyny and american protestant moralizing wasn’t killing it already)

also, the misogyny makes the female characters basically impossible to watch. like not a single person on that show is a good actor (except sterling k brown love u king u were the best actor that show ever saw) but they didnt even give any of the women anything to work with. its literally so cringey to watch any woman onscreen except maybe like. bela talbot and she was treated like utter shit.

god. you know that expression dont fall in love with potential? i dont do that w people i do it w fiction. i came off black sails and the untamed and frankenstein and i watched the first couple seasons of supernatural with my friend and it was like...there was so much room for it to SAY something about monsters and how society creates them thru violence and how deeply horrific american protestantism is. like theres so many questions and concepts that it brought up that it never actually SAID something about. shithole of wasted potential. and yeah dean and castiel is stupid there i said it

#again i KNOWW everybody knows it sucks and doesnt care #im a hater! #asks

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

hello this isnt abt batfam or batman but i saw your age and was wondering how do i survive till 23? i am 18 now and 5 more years is very hard to survive please help

Interesting question. I turn 24 in ten days, and sometimes even I’m not sure. I guess I’ll talk about how I personally stayed alive this long before I try to give advice.

The very first thing I would say is that I am religious, and that worldview makes a difference. I don’t mean that in a “everything happens for a reason” kind of way, and as a matter of fact, I very much dislike that line of thinking. It does a lot of damage, and I’m aware that it rightly puts a lot of people off from religion in general. 

I hold two beliefs that I think are helpful in terms of survival. First, I believe that humans are by nature bad. Counterintuitive in this conversation? Stick with me. Every day, but especially at my lowest moments, I hate the things that I am. In a metaphorical sense, my mind whispers to me that I am selfish, that I am cowardly, that I think bad things and I am capable of worse. I’m hateful, I’m terrifying, and I am absolutely broken. At my core, there is something fundamentally wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t fix it. 

I am disgusting. I’m several thousand evil things in a trench-coat pretending to be anything but myself, and I’m not fooling anyone. 

Well, yeah. Yeah, I’m all those things and more: manipulative, lying, self-obsessed, angry, unforgiving, and judgmental. I could, of course, go on.

Here’s the thing-- everybody is. I am no better and no worse than any other person in the universe, and though I am ever abhorrent thing, I am. I have the same dignity, the same worth, and the same life as any human anywhere. The dark things are part and parcel of my humanity, but although I am not good, I do good. 

I will never be perfect because that just isn’t possible, but I can be kind. I can be loving, I can be strong, and I can be wise. 

Shit, doesn’t that set me free?

There’s a lot more to this conversation, and the rest goes, in brief, like this: at the bottom of the darkness that is every soul, we have one great fear-- if I am truly evil, no one will ever love me. Good news on that front, there is a God who does. If that’s something you want to talk about, hey hit me up. I’ll evangelize on my own time. 

Back to it. My second belief is a kind of understanding about the passage of time, and it’s sort of hard to boil down into a few sentences, but I’ll try my best. I believe in a grand struggle between good and evil. I know the beginning of that struggle. I know the end of that struggle: that good will win. I am a part of the middle. 

I see my role in the universe as extraordinary small but absolutely necessary. I have a two-fold purpose-- love God, love humans. I interpret both as a call to help others in any way I can, and I think in the way my life has worked out so far, that’s really the most important thing keeping me alive. 

I see all of this through the frame of my religion, but I would argue that everything I’ve said so far is applicable outside of that frame, because a lot of folks get to the same place from a fully secular point of view. I cannot be perfect. I should care about and fight for other people. That’s really all we’re working from here. 

A few years back, when people asked me this question-- how do you stay alive?-- I used to answer “spite,” and that’s not untrue. I am a very angry person, and the grand majority of that anger is directed at what I perceive as unjust acts. I have a deep-seated hatred of establishments (including the established church), and you’d be shocked at how much of a motivator that can be. 

I grew up in an environment that was very intentional in teaching me to identify injustice. Though I have radically departed from many of the teachings of my childhood, the part about fighting for others was something I learned at day one, and that bit has stuck around. For the most part, I grew up in an environment where everyone was on the same page about it. 

And theeeeeeen I went to undergrad. Hello, Texas A&M. I hit campus as an 18 year old fully incapacitated by anxiety. I was the kind of person who didn’t-- in fact couldn’t-- speak in front of others. I had always lived my life in a way that minimized myself, because if I never spoke, if I never disagreed, if I never drew attention, I would never make anyone angry. I knew from experience that angry people hurt me, and I was afraid of pain. 

Then I experienced the absolute shenaniganry of conservative Texans. The culture shock sent me to space and back, and on the return trip I decided that I couldn’t be quiet anymore. 

I learned to speak my freshman year so that I could scream FUCK YOU. It was incredibly painful, and I can’t tell you exactly how I managed it other than I was angry, and I didn’t want to lose. 

I fought a similar battle on my homefront against parents that didn’t know how to deal with a daughter that disagreed, or even worse, a daughter that wasn’t okay. I wasn’t a perfect child anymore. I knew I had anxiety, I knew I was depressed, and we all knew who I blamed for that. They hadn’t been the perfect parents they thought they were. 

I found myself growing, little by little, into a person that could write and argue and hold her ground. That’s personal growth for sure, but it didn’t necessarily help my mental health. As a matter of fact, my health declined all through undergrad, and in my third and final year, I cracked.

I was desperate. I was isolated. I was flooded by fear and despair, and I was falling apart. I don’t remember huge chunks of undergrad because I was so depressed that the memories didn’t stick, but I do remember my tipping point.

It was something small. The ceiling fan in my bedroom was broken. The lighting chain worked fine, but if anyone pulled the fan chain, the whole thing would stop working. I mixed up which chain was which, pulled the wrong cord, and broke it for the fourth time. 

For some reason, that was it. I lay down on my floor and cried for an hour, and while I did, my mind went to, as the kids say, a dark place. Finally, I called my mom and begged for psychiatric medication, something I had always been afraid to ask for. At the time, my parents believed that antidepressants were overprescribed, and they mocked parents that let their children take them. 

At around the same time, I was deciding what to do with my life. I was about to graduate, and I had always wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. Instead, everyone in my life pushed me towards law school. I didn’t know what to do, but I began fantasizing, not about going to law school exactly, but about being the kind of person that could go to law school. 

I knew that law school would be entail public speaking and constant conflict and the kind of work that would be hard for a person who sometimes couldn’t leave her bed. I wanted to be someone who could do all of that, but I didn’t believe I was.

Enter Donald Trump. Post-November 2016, I struggled to understand how something like that could happen, and I watched everyone else deal with it too. I began confused, moved to distraught, then returned to what I always am: angry.

January 2017 was the inauguration and shortly afterwards, the “Muslim ban.” I read the news on my bedroom floor, and there was one specific part that stuck out to me. There were pictures of lawyers flooding the airports. There was a court case headed for SCOTUS.

I suddenly realized that one group-- one very select group-- was doing what I was powerless to accomplish. I hated establishments, and there was one group that could challenge and change them. Some people could fight in the way I wanted to, and those people were lawyers.

I have a very distinct memory of looking into the bathroom mirror of my third-year apartment and thinking, “I will be miserable for the rest of my life, no matter what I do or what career I pick. I might as well be a miserable lawyer.”

So I took my antidepressants and I went to law school. I’m not going to rehash everything that happened there in this particular post, because in this topic, I don’t think it matters. The relevant part is that I went, and I had my reason why.

Sure as hell can tell you that law school wasn’t good for my health. The last three years have been, in terms of sheer stress and despair, the worst of my life. I picked up a self-harm habit, endured consistent humiliation, cycled through six different antidepressants, had horrible relationships, and developed a psychotic disorder. Don’t get me wrong, there were good things too. I met people that are important me, and beyond that, I grew. 

I know that 18 year old me would be absolutely flabbergasted by the woman I am now, cracks and flaws included. I wouldn’t say I’m healthy or okay, but I am more healthy and more okay. I’m coming out of this mess with the institutional power I wanted, and now I get to decide what to do with it. 

I was wrong three years ago when I looked in that bathroom mirror. I know now that I won’t be miserable for the rest of my life. I’m going to be happy someday, and to the parts of me that say otherwise: fuck you. I’ve learned to say it now. 

I graduated law school this week, and this month, I’ve felt better than I ever have before. I’m singing again, I dropped two medications, and suddenly, everything is so, so funny. I’ve been laughing so hard my face hurts the day after. 

This is a huge turning point in my life, so I’ve been meditating on my past. I’ve come to the conclusion that in most of the ways that matter, I won. My family has been forced to accept what I am. I became the person I wanted to be, even though I thought I wasn’t capable of that. 

I know for sure that there will be times in my life where I hit rock bottom again, and that’s not gonna be fun. It’s likely that with my mental health issues, I will always have to work harder than my peers to get the same results. That’s unfair. 

I also know that high points exist, and I will have them. I am having them, and I will again. 

I guess in recap, I know that I have deep flaws and ugly parts, but I am at peace with that. I know that I must help others, and in pursuit of that goal, I became a person I like more than the girl I used to be. 

You have exactly the same potential. I want you to know that whatever you are now, that’s not your forever. Circumstances change, and you will change too. We’re human, you and I, and that’s an exciting thing to be. 

Your worth comes from your humanity itself, both evil and good, not the things you do or the fights you win. You never have to compare yourself to others because you are exactly the same as everybody else-- no better, but certainly no worse. You’re a person. That’s enough. 

I’m telling you all those things, and as advice, I’ll say this: get angry and fight. Fight for others. You can help them, and you should. Fight for yourself. You are worthy of respect, and everyone else should give it to you. Fight yourself. Any part of you that preaches despair is wrong. 

Find the thing that makes you angry and use it. Things are fucked up! There’s a lot to be angry about. I put it this way to my classmates, now my attorney peers: you get one hill to die on. What’s your hill? Go and defend it. 

Here’s an interesting thing, anon. Your hill can be yourself. There’s nothing wrong with that. You’re right. Five years is a lot, and all the years beyond that are more. Take your antidepressants and go.

#anyway here's a fucking autobiography I guess #let's see what to tag what to tag #religion #christianity #suicide #suicidal thoughts #suicidal ideation #asks #personal i guess #wait I thought of more #self harm #american politics #if the read more on this post doesn't work again I'm rioting #been having that glitch lately

[rvseate]

welcome  to  bee  tries  to  write  a  coherent  intro  challenge  !

(   𝘩𝑎𝑙𝑒𝑦  𝑙𝑢  𝑟𝑖𝑐𝘩𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑠𝑜𝑛  &  𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑐𝑎  𝑟𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑛𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒   )   bopping  along  to  𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬  𝐟𝐥𝐲  by  𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫  𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐭  is  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐄  𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐍  ,  the  𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲  𝐨𝐧𝐞  year  old  𝐜𝐢𝐬  𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞  thrown  back  to  their  𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞  𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠  days  with  𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞  of  her  memories  .  voted  𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭  𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐲  𝐭𝐨  𝐛𝐞  𝐨𝐧  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫  ,  𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐘  was  known  for  being  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬  &  𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜  ,  go  figures  you'd  always  find  them  𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐧𝐞𝐰  𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲  𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬  ,  but  grew  up  to  be  𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜  &  𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐭  .   ✎   𝑏𝑒𝑒  ,  𝟸𝟷  ,  𝑠𝘩𝑒/𝘩𝑒𝑟  ,  𝑒𝑠𝑡  .

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.

NAME  :   penelope  dahlia  buchanan

NICKNAMES  :  penny

D.O.B.  :  june  25,  1989

GENDER  /  PRONOUNS  :  cis  female  /  she  +  her

SEXUALITY  :  biromantic  bisexual

𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞.

BORN  :  san  antonio,  texas

RAISED  :  san  antonio,  texas

CURRENT  RESIDENCE  :  rom  valley  university  dorms  (  past  )   /  san  francisco,  california  (  present  )

NATIONALITY  :  american

SPOKEN  LANGUAGES  :  english

SOCIOECONOMIC  CLASS  :  upper  middle  class

OCCUPATION  :  full  stack  developer

PARENTS  :  glenn  &  tammy  buchanan

SIBLINGS  :  blair  buchanan,  lucille  buchanan,  stella  buchanan

CHILDREN  :  none  (  past  )   /   madison,  3  y/o  (  present  )

RELIGION  :  christian  (  past  )   /   agnostic  (  present  )

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.

HEIGHT  :  5′5″

BUILD  :   a  little  curvy,  not  much  muscle  definition

HAIR  :  dirty  blonde,  wavy

EYE  COLOUR  :  a  murky  grayish  blue

SKIN  :  fair,  prone  to  acne,  easily  flushed

DOMINANT  HAND  :  right

SCENT  :  vanilla  &  lavender

ACCENT  :  texan

TATTOOS  /  PIERCINGS  :  no  tattoos,  ears  pierced  (  past  )   /   a  simple  hello  world  tattoo  on  her  wrist,  ears  pierced  (  present  )

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫.

STRENGTHS  :  conscientious,  kindhearted,  intelligent,  affable,  humble

WEAKNESSES  :  jealous,  self-conscious,  intransigent,  pessimistic,  dependent

ZODIAC  :  cancer  sun,  libra  moon

MBTI  :  infj

TEMPERAMENT  :  phlegmatic

MORAL  ALIGNMENT  :  lawful  neutral

HOGWARTS  HOUSE  :  hufflepuff

𝐛𝐢𝐨.

penny  buchanan  is,  and  always  has  been,  unremarkable,  at  least  in  her  own  eyes.  a  christian  sorority  girl  from  texas  ?  they’re  a  dime  a  dozen.  not  to  mention  penny  is  the  second  youngest  of  four  girls,  all  of  whom  look  remarkably  similar.  the  buchanan  girls  came  as  a  package  deal.  penny  spent  every  minute  with  her  sisters  growing  up  (  though  many  of  those  minutes  were  spent  at  war  ),  trying  to  ignore  their  parents’  relationship  crumbling  irreversibly  as  the  years  went  on.  it  was  an  open  secret  that  glenn  buchanan  was  not  entirely  faithful  to  his  wife.  but  they  brushed  it  under  the  rug;  after  all,  what  else  were  they  supposed  to  do,  divorce  ?  now  that  wouldn’t  be  very  christian,  would  it  ?

penny  first  discovered  a  love  for  computers  in  her  sophomore  year  of  high  school,  when  she  signed  up  for  a  computer  class  because  the  boy  she  was  crushing  on  was  taking  it.  well,  crushes  fade,  but  her  interest  in  the  ones  and  zeroes  that  composed  the  modern  computer  didn’t.  the  first  week  of  her  first  year  at  rvu,  penny  cried  herself  to  sleep  every  night.  she’d  never  been  apart  from  her  sisters  for  so  long.  not  to  mention  she  stuck  out  like  a  sore  thumb  in  her  software  engineering  classes,  which  were  overwhelmingly  male  (  and  in  need  of  deodorant  ).  

but  she  quickly  found  a  home  in  the  sorority  sigma  delta  nu,  all  too  happy  to  bake  cookies  for  their  bake  sales  and  play  sidekick  to  the  bolder,  more  outgoing  girls,  as  long  as  she  was  part  of  a  sisterhood  once  more.  she’s  always  defined  herself  by  her  relationship  to  other  people,  and  a  sorority  is  right  up  her  alley.  she’s  a  little  embarrassed  by  her  major,  since  it’s  probably  seen  as  pretty  nerdy  and  masculine,  and  definitely  downplays  it  lmao  even  though  she  loves  it  a  lot.  she  definitely  was  more  of  a  follower  than  a  leader,  so  if  another  of  her  sorority  sisters  had  drama  with  someone,  penny  definitely  stood  behind  them  and  stayed  quiet  instead  of  maybe  forming  her  own  opinion.

totally  into  the  bachelor  lmfao.  she's  seen  every  season  and  lives  for  the  drama  of  it  all.  just  loves  reality  shows  in  general.  also  loves  romcoms.  she’s  a  total  hopeless  romantic  who  gets  crushes  on  people  way  too  easily

WANTED  PLOT  !!!  something  i’d  love  is  if  penny  had  a  boyfriend  in  her  college  days.  super  cute,  been  dating  a  while,  people  probably  expect  them  to  get  married.  but  she’s  secretly  cheating  on  him.  the  drama  !!!  up  to  you  how  much  he  remembers  of  the  future.  extra  bonus  points  if  she’s  cheating  on  him  with  a  girl,  im  so  gay  and  so  is  penny

college  tl;dr  :  penny  is  your  average  christian  sorority  girl,  sweet  but  a  lil  insecure  and  dependent,  Confused™  about  her  sexuality,  loves  software  eng  &  actually  really  good  at  it  but  embarrassed  abt  it.  can  be  jealous  and  honestly  a  little  spiteful.  way  too  concerned  about  her  image

after  college  !!  i  imagine  the  boyfriend  finds  out  about  her  cheating  and  breaks  up  with  her  lol.  she  got  a  job  in  silicone  valley  and  makes  like,  a  lot  of  money  tbh.  she  gained  more  confidence  and  independence,  but  still  tends  to  make  herself  smaller  and  stick  to  the  shadows  while  her  coworkers  get  the  glory.  i  feel  like  she’s  had  a  few  short  relationships  but  nothing  super  serious.  definitely  had  an  okcupid  account  lmfao.  

she’s  always  wanted  to  be  a  mother  and  at  some  point  after  a  certain  amount  of  failed  relationships  she  was  like  …  ya  know  what  ?  i’m  gonna  do  this  on  my  own.  so  she  got  artificially  inseminated  and  now  has  the  cutest  daughter  named  madison.  it’s  been  tough  being  a  single  mother,  but  it’s  been  so  worth  it.

after  the  reunion,  she  remembers  some  of  her  future,  but  it’s  very  much  like  remembering  a  dream,  where  you’re  not  sure  if  it  even  happened.  the  only  parts  she  remembers  clearly  are  with  madison.

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝  𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.

these  are  all  lame  bc  i’m  tired  i  am  sorry

ex-boyfriend.  like  i  said,  a  college  boyfriend  who  she  was  cheating   on.  pleaseee

college  fling.  the  person  she  cheated  with.  would  love  this  to  be  a  girl/enby  but  would  also  be  ok  with  a  guy.  taken  by  vivienne  hale

skinny  love.  maybe  they  were  just  friends  but  always  lowkey  had  a  crush  on  each  other,  but  it  never  worked  out  cause  they  were  never  single  at  the  same  time

sorority  sisters.  pleeeease  give  penny  her  sorority  sisters  !!  her  girls  !!

hbic.  penny’s  more  of  a  sidekick,  so  i’d  love  a  female  friend  who’s  more  confident  and  outgoing.  think  like,  jennifer  &  needy  from  jennifer’s  body

classmates.  any  other  engineers  out  there  ??  doesn’t  even  need  to  be  software  engineers  lol

childhood  /  high  school  friends.  someone  also  from  texas  who  penny  knew  growing  up

victims  ?  maybe  some  of  her  sorority  sisters  tended  to  be  snotty  and  mean,  and  penny  just  stood  by  instead  of  standing  up  for  their  victims

one-sided  crush.  either  way  bbyyyy

sperm  donor.  i  know  sperm  donors  are  anonymous  but  how  fucking  funny  would  it  be  if  penny  found  out  the  father  of  her  child  was  an  old  classmate

annoyance.  someone  who  irritates  penny

bad  influence  /  good  influence

#again.intro

[mccarricks]

( brittany o’grady / demi woman ) WESLEY McCARRICK is 23 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in FILM and is known for being THE MAVERICK as THEY can be HUMOROUS and OPEN-MINDED as well as DITZY and IMPULSIVE. every time i see HER/THEM, THEY remind me of PURPLE SKY IN THE DESERT, SKATING AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO FEEL THE WIND ON YOU, A JOKE TOLD WITH A TOOTHY GRIN.

hero’s back w character no. 2 and yet......

full name: wesley ‘wes’ elaine mccarrick

birthdate: february 2, 1997

age: 23

gender: demi woman

pronouns: she/her/they/them

zodiac: aquarius

nationality: american

ethnicity: black (louisiana creole) and white (irish)

hometown: santa fe, nm

languages: english, intermediate spanish

family:

theodore mccarrick, father

elaine barlow, mother

ruby mccarrick, older brother

delphine mccarrick, older sister

sherri barlow, maternal grandmother

many cousins

orientation: bisexual biromantic, pref. towards women/nb people but will date men

religion: agnostic

height: 5 ft 4 in

distinguishing features: eyebrows, hair, lips

character inspo: ilana wexler (broad city), harley quinn (dc comics), phoebe buffay (friends), prob more

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

TRIGGERS: divorce, mentions of crime, drug and alcohol use

the youngest child of ted and elaine mccarrick, wes was a kid who is full of life. she’s the kind of kid who did things to make you smile, and it usually worked. she was warm and inviting, a little naive, but she had a strong support system.

her parents divorce when she’s six, she doesn’t quite understand it but her dad moves out, and her grandma and multiple cousins move in. it’s a lively household, between her mom, who works as a nurse, and her siblings, and her cousins, it was never really quiet and there was never a lot of room.

despite the split, her parents maintain that their children have a relationship with both of them, and truthfully, wes is a daddy’s girl. she and her dad were cut from the same cloth, happy go lucky, fun loving, a bit silly, he’s the one who introduces her to movies. it’s their thing, watching and critiquing them together, and it’s not whatever is in theatres either. they went for all times of filmmaking, new wave, surrealist, and more.

it really stuck with wes, who herself had begun making movies, mostly horror/fantasy/scifi stuff with her friends-- she writes and directs and occasionally, she’ll don a costume and star in them. they’re silly little things, but her family always sat down for her “premieres.”

her formative years are marked with plenty of things, sports, deaths of distant family members, a cousin or two who gets caught in the wrong crowd and ends up in jail, and throughout this, wes remains a rock for her family.

she’s in high school, and she gets into the eclectic crowd, the outcasts, the weirdos, the ones who smoked under the bridge, and partied out in an abandoned trailer near the desert. these freaks were her freaks. they accepted her with open arms, as she them.  

she chooses thales because she always wants to see the east coast, and frankly, as much as she loves her family, she wants to be free of them. and they have a fantastic film program. so!

she meets steven in their first film class together, and they’re fast friends, despite her usual weariness of YET another film bro, steven proves to be a good egg. so she thinks. she finds out through him talking that he might not be the most faithful to his girlfriend, and as much as she doesn’t like meddling, she thinks it’s only right to let clarissa, who she doesn’t really know well, know. however, before there’s a chance, everything happens-- now she’s stuck wondering if she should reveal the truth, or let sleeping dogs lie.

nana is different, nana and her dated her sophomore year, nana’s freshman year. it wasn’t serious. but they were fond of each other. they eventually break up, but they stay friendly, waving to each other in the halls, chatting at parties.

both the disappearance and the murder is weird for wes, who by all accounts, isn’t great at dealing with bad shit. she prefers to laugh about things. laugh about everything. because if she doesn’t laugh, she’ll cry.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

wes is a mess, a free-spirit, a walking contradiction. she’s very independent minded, the kind of person who does things without thinking so much about the consequences, this leads her into trouble sometimes. like nicking something from a convenience store, or stealing a stop sign as a prank. she’s definitely the kind to goof off and not exactly dedicate her full attention to something. and while she’s in genuinely good spirits on most occasions, she has a staunch ‘no asshole’ policy. the type to defend the underdogs, and go after bullies. she’ll punch you with a smile on her face, and yet it ends up being more unnerving than you realize. she’s a bit of a ditz, as well, never the best at school, but can talk your ear off about the going ons of the world. she’s a lovable dumbass, for sure, and loyal to a tee once you get her as a friend.

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒

horror movie fan! her favorites are some of the oldies, like dracula and  the bride of frankenstein! and some new ones! big fan of jordan peele’s work, as well as ari aster’s! but mostly really advocates for women directors and directors of color!

also does roller derby! she picked this up her first year at thales and fell in love with it, i can’t think of a name for her yet, but she’s a blocker, won’t hesitate to elbow some dick at the bar

kinda a tomboy? she’s always been! she’s rough and tumble and not afraid to get down and dirty with someone, i.e. will join those football games on the quad or crawl through the mud for a scene to shoot

doesn’t know if she wants to be a director/writer or a cinematographer honestly.... she loves the technical aspects of film as much as the making the stories

definition of a bruh girl, says it a whole lot, but also just if you tell her you love her, she’ll just roll her eyes and be like you’re an idiot (which means she loves you too) she’ll be affectionate if she’s close to you

kinda a wh*re oops....... texts multiple girls at a time and doesn’t want to hurt any of their feelings she doesn’t know how she keeps ending up in these situations... also a bisexual disaster

a stoner as well..... always has a massive jar of weed

unclear whether she lives on campus or off campus but if she does live off campus she has a pet turtle named elsa lanchester after the bride of frankenstein actress

a drummer! she’s in a band (name tbd) she started drumming at a young age and found it was a good way to manage her aggression

doesn’t really do well with emotions, so she’ll either be like there, there, or try to make jokes.... she really said kids can you lighten up

walking meme... such a walking meme... doesn’t know so many things she’s like a cute puppy with no thoughts head empty but she’s so fun to be around

life of the party.... nana she came fr ur spot and she took it and she’s not sorry but she does miss u a lot

doesn’t rly feel like she’s allowed to be upset anyways bc some people have it...... way worse.... can u say Imposter syndrome

kind of an enabler...... will be that person to push u to try things but not in a peer pressurey way, more like if u are unsure abt sending a text she says do it

wears fun earrings and socks! think lollipops or gummy bears or found objects like she collects that shit it’s her lifeline

boxes! she’s been boxing since she was abt 12, courtesy of her older brother (who is now a doctor thx ruby) and it’s a good way to exercise and release stress

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

best friend -- two of a feather, cut from the same cloth, or complete opposites it doesnt matter to her (the abbi to her ilana)

roller derby friends -- she’s p close to the team, margs on her

makeup artist pal -- i think it would be neat fr someone to try and teach her makeup whether its normal or sfx bc she wants to look like a monster or smthn

she’s gullible, u take advantage of that -- u just tell her lies p much and she’s like yeah ok that sounds right

party friends

classmates

fwbs (f/m/nb) -- tbh she might have one or two of these but they literally are the def of pals who bone sometimes... like v good abt being like you good? u dont want more? cool me too

exes (f/m/nb) -- mostly dated women or nb people but def cld have had a guy

she smokes you out -- p much the only reason u hang out w her is bc she has good weed

someone she’s fought -- like fully decked in the face, prob said something that rubbed her the wrong way and it just devolved from there

people who dislike her -- she could definitely be seen as annoying bc shes loud and dorky and funny so ??

breaks someone out of their shell -- p self explanatory, pushes them to have fun, w everything happening shes rly like lifes too short to not take the opportunities around u

cousins! probably on her dad’s side! i figure she has some east coast fam 

anything? truly?

#pyrrhic.intro #intro. #divorce tw #crime mention #drug use tw #alcohol use tw #i pulled this out of my ass

[catilinas]

a squalloscope song for every episode of the terror (2018)

(inspired by @dedraconesilet's post which was in turn inspired by this post!) 

or: @endofvanity and i spent way too long making ourselves sad in order to make what is Definitely Not just an attempt to get more people to listen to squalloscope, ideally while thinking about the terror

1. go for broke - nocturnal “is it too much to ask to stop all the clocks / for the wicker basket or the pine box? / any room of the house can be your cenotaph. / i'll send you departure through a polygraph”

2. gore - big houses “we follow our own steps while our shadows keep watching us. / the wrong steps would be not to start this exodus”

3. the ladder - A.A.A. “i’d like to multiply horizons from battlefields to the stage. / who will we be the next time we meet? / with our cracked cuticles and our sharp teeth? / all things hidden in the mouth of the wolverine”

4. punished, as a boy - rifle scissor stone “hate to say i told you so said the scissor to the stone / when you’re finished with me i’ll be sharper than i’ve ever been before”

5. first shot a winner, lads - relaxation contest “this love is a jar of medicine / sometimes it ain't good for anything. / got friends my age who live in graves / got brains that often misbehave / got milk in all my fever dreams / and i’m bursting, bursting at the seams”

6. a mercy - open water reckless fishes “and i watch you as you want your god to watch over you / but you’d like to choose what he’s allowed to see / you remove your sign of religion / he may see you drink but he shouldn’t see me”

7. horrible from supper - hate cake “i can give you a problem if you need one / and a solution, it's easy. / you need to sacrifice something, baby. come on, eat your hate cake, / gobble up the whole plate, happy birthday”

8. terror camp clear - mistakeism “I got here wearing a coat made from other people's fingers / I'll exit wearing nothing but my own soft shell”

9. the c, the c, the open c - all caps “i never saw so many stars at night when i still lived on earth / nobody down there tells you being lost out here's got its perks / sat by the side of the road to take a breath / told you sometimes i dream that your ribcage caves in on your heart”

10. we are gone - desert pacific octopi “and my lips are sewn shut and my hips are boulders / for ships that won’t come to crash on my bones / i run to where the stray dogs won’t find me / where the broadcast breaks off / where the darkness and the ocean align”

(And Then Some Notes:)

go for broke was almost dust: “bring me a soft invasion / i’ll provide the sea and the ships [...] bring me my packed suitcase and all our favorite words / bring me my library, our books of fishes and birds”

wrt lyrics choice for gore: “the cairn scene...when goodsir calls out to him...that’s EXACTLY this line”

“FOUR IS THE MOST DIFFICULT CAUSE ITS THE MOST SACRIFICIAL”

when you listen to relaxation contest you are legally required to think abt blanky and crozier

“episode 7 is full of HERE HAVE SOME MEN WHO DIED AS A SACRIFICE (farlhorne, morfin...)”

the lyric from mistakeism is fun bcs it’s simultaneously fitzjames and hickey...... dare i say mimetic! at this point we decided that if jfj was a squalloscope song he would be knot two

mistakeism also contains the lyric “i’m thinking next year in the presidential election / maybe i can vote for the mighty rat king”

the c, the c, the open c was almost crying swimmers: “and I hold on, i curl up where i belong / i belong wherever you are, i'm hungry, i'm wrong / we sleep with interwoven limbs, limbs and knots in hankerchiefs / i’m sorry i cannot leave”

ultimately though it was all caps bcs of the line “come on, abyss, take this wedding ring”

when you listen to desert pacific octopi you are legally required to be sad about crozier and james clark ross

#in the immortal words of fred: 'SQUALLOSCOPE INADVERTENTLY WROTE FOR THE TERROR' #the terror #terrorposting #squalloscope #beeps

[mychemicalficrecs]

christmas fics?? everyone talking abt christmas in july has me in the mood for feels

So it turns out there’s a lot of Christmas fic!

Christmas Fic

Frank the crankiest elf by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), Frank/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. There were two things Frank hated: Christmas, and disappointing his mom. Considering his mom's last name had been Claus ever since she remarried, it was a bit of a fucking problem.

Needles in His Hair by jetblackmirror (orphan_account), Gerard/Mikey, 1k, Teen And Up Audiences. Coming home on Christmas.

Like two birds of a feather would be by Pennyplainknits, Mikey/Pete, 8k, Explicit. Hiding places, Santa hats, Pencey Prep, and some really dirty dancing.

Air-Pollution Purple by orphan_account, Gerard/Mikey, 3k, General Audiences. The Killjoys set up a refugee camp for the holidays instead of wasting time finding presents -- except, Poison has always been a rebel.

Everything I Needed to Know About Life I Learned Teaching Kindergarten by bootson, Frank/Gerard, 3k, General Audiences. The last day before Christmas Break should be easy for Gerard and his teacher’s aide, Frank. Teaching kindergarten, though, means never having a dull day. It wouldn’t be Gerard’s classroom if Victoria wasn’t biting Gabe, William and Adam weren’t trying to steal Ryland, Greta and Lindsey weren’t hording crayons, and Brendon wasn’t crying while Spencer glared at everyone

Just For Christmas by pikasafire, Gerard/Mikey, 1k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey and Gerard share a kiss under the mistletoe.

Teacherverse by seimaisin, tuesdaysgone, Frank/Gerard, 7k, Explicit. Frank is ranting again. Gerard tunes in from a distracted study of the hair curling at the nape of Frank’s neck and realizes he’s missed about half a train of thought. "I'm just saying," Frank continues, waving around a stack of lined paper like a flag, "they can barely call it the English department anymore, if this is the kind of thing the kids are writing for their other classes. I don't think this sentence even has a verb in it."

White Desert by edy, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison, 3k, Mature. There's something about Christmas—or just any holiday—that makes Party Poison depressed, unresponsive, and stubborn. Fun Ghoul tries his best to make the Killjoy leader feel better.

Secret Santa by wicked, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Mature. For fill in the prompt quote: "If you're gonna buy me a present, don't spend more than twenty five bucks, you'll get a blowjob anyway." (Gerard) Christmas - My Chemical Romance style. It’s Secret Santa time and Frank knows exactly what to get.

'Tis the season by OwlHooots, Frank/Gerard, 9k, Explicit. Frank hated Christmas, but this year, Frank had Gerard.

Secret Santa by orphan_account, Frank/Grant/Gerard, Frank/Grant, 9k, Explicit. Gerard works at a women's clothing shop and designs clothes in his spare time. When they decide to change their usual secret santa traditions up a bit, things don't go quite as planned, but Gerard still gets invited to dinner by the hot guy from the bookstore across the street. Again, however, things don't go quite as planned.

Last Christmas by Lyra (Lyra_87), Frank/Gerard, 7k, General Audiences. A story of heartbreak, love and forgiveness at Christmas

All I Want For Christmas Is A Boyfriend by MyChemical30, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Gerard sort of has a history with sucky relationships involving jerks. He can't seem to keep a boyfriend but it's never really bothered him before now. With Christmas only a few days around the corner his newest breakup was not as appreciated as he would have thought it would be. His only hope to find a boyfriend to spend the Holidays with? Write a letter to Santa of course!

Open Windows (Woke Up And You Were Gone) by blindlyseeking (orphan_account), Frank/Gerard, 3k, Not Rated. A short fic that I began some time ago about recovery and love

Holiday Spirits by missred, Frank/Gerard, 1k, General Audiences. It's Christmas Eve and Frank is being stubborn as ever.

Merry Christmas, Fucker by fvckmefrankie, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Explicit. “A condom..?” Frank asked, and then it clicked.

Totem by RubyTuesday5681 (orphan_account), Frank/Gerard, 5k, Explicit. It's Christmas Eve out in the zones, where the ghosts are gathering strength as the prey on and absorb energy from the living. They are especially powerful on spiritually significant nights such as these. BLI may have succeeded at making the people in Battery City forget about the holidays of the old religions, but the ghosts still remember. Ghosts never forget. This is not a happy story.

Underneath The Mistletoe Last Night by orphan_account, Mikey/Pete, 5k, Not Rated. In which Mikey is a tattoo artist and falls in love with florist Pete in the most awkward way possible.

Merry and Bright by prophetic, Frank/Gerard, 10k, Not Rated. The mall is weird, yes, but even it sometimes has moments of Christmas beauty.

Somebody Needs To Sing a Christmas Carol by ermengarde, Frank/Gerard, 6k, General Audiences. Wherein the local store is personally persecuting Frank by not carrying his favorite soda and Gerard is (probably. HOPEFULLY) not a psychopath. A tale of Elves, veggie lasagna and gender essentialism in the run up to Christmas.

Soon The Bells Will Start by Jiksa, Frank/Mikey/Pete, Lindsey/Gerard, 5k, Explicit. Mikey has a slight melodramatic crisis in the middle of the night, Gerard has a herd of capsized sparkly reindeer in his hallway, Frank has five minutes to apologize, and Pete's got a brilliant solution to all this nonsense.

I Said I Love You by Merkey666, Mikey/Pete, 4k, General Audiences. Pete is awkwardly invited to a holiday party by his crush, and he doesn't really know how to deal with that information. Despite being an absolute mess when around his crush, he goes anyway. It doesn't go as badly as it could've.

snow falls on desert skies by rage_for_love, Fun Ghoul/Party Poison, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. In which Ghoul sees snow, and everyone else remembers.

Bitterness and Frank Pulls an Oprah But With Basses by Merkey666, Frank/Gerard, Mikey/Pete, 4k, General Audiences. Pete and Mikey definitely didn't fuck in Gerard's bathroom on Christmas Eve.

In Which Gerard Learns About First Impressions (A Very Special Holiday Episode) by coffeewordangel, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Mature. The last thing Gerard wants to do with his Christmas Break is entertain some snot-nosed brat.

All Frankie Wants For Christmas is a Stepstool by Ourladyofresurrection, Frank/Gerard, 2k, Teen And Up Audiences. Prompt! : “I can’t reach the Christmas decorations on the shelf and you look tall, can you help me?”

Christmas Is for Lovers by stoplightglow, Frank/Gerard, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. “I sort of—” Frank takes a deep breath, looks up, then swiftly drops his gaze again. “I sort of told her I have a boyfriend.”

Even The Snow Falls For You by cemeterycoffee, Frank/Gerard, 8k, Teen And Up Audiences. Okay, Frank is most definitely not Santa, but he did have a very good reason for breaking into the house.

Clutching At Straws by turps, 2k, Not Rated. Mikey/Pete, failboat Christmas shopping AU

There Is Just One Thing I Need by Honestmouse, Ray/Mikey, Frank/Gerard, 13k, Teen And Up Audiences. Just a short, sweet one shot about Mikey Way and Christmas time.

It takes more than Tinsel to keep you warm by ermengarde, Ray/Gerard, 1k, General Audiences. For the prompt: Gerard/Ray, holiday preparations

#frank/gerard #gerard/mikey #mikey/pete #fun ghoul/party poison #frank/grant/gerard #frank/grant #frank/mikey/pete #ray/mikey #ray/gerard #fic rec list #christmas

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

#this was LONG as FUK #ask and i shall answer #i kindly skipped those i've already answered ^^' #thank u buddy!!! #meiyanaalexia #i didn't think i'd get too real with this but here i am

[zombiequincy]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Hela     AGE: 21       CONTACT: IM

CHARACTER(S): Giselle Gewelle, Yumichika Ayasegawa (inactive)

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have gory Bloodborne au but that one just exists in my head on my lonesome.

MY LANGUAGE(S): English and one very specific Middle Eastern dialect.

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. 

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK. (i love it all sorry I am quite the mixed bag lmao)

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO. i gotta know what certain human body parts taste like u know

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. it’s SO BAD FOR ME RN ASGLDKJDJKA i’m very inconsistent i’m so sorry.

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. / a lot of it has more to do w my general writing mood and if the thread im writing catches my interest, and rn im writing a TON of really wonderful and fascinating threads so they’re all super captivating for me and i try to reply asap

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC. (i have a lot of stupid shit sorry) 

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING: just send me a tumblr instant message, i know it sucks shit but im not comfy releasing my discord w everyone just yet cause i use it for personal use as well. i check tumblr on the daily so if you send me a message chances are i’ll see it and respond!

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  i guess just be able to put up with my rambling and stopping and starting, a lot of characterisation choices i do go through various stages and its pretty messy so when i communicate that with others it usually ends up equally messy. just be patient with me please.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  i don’t mind! sometimes ppl have more ideas that they want to share first and i’m always super happy to listen to those ideas !! sometimes its nice to have someone with a clear guide or structure and be able to work around that rather than trying to fumble through a plot together.

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  i try to map out some basic info abt their characters that i otherwise don’t know from their bio or verses and try to pick out points of confrontation or similarities to expand on with giselle that can be used as points for like a starter to happen. its either that or sometimes i have really stupid ideas i just toss out there like ‘LMAO THEYRE BREAKING SHIT AT DISNEYLAND’ and go buck wild from there if the other person is down. i also always try to warn people or get a gauge for what subjects to avoid and steer clear of considering that giselle is a bit of a Freak(tm) and will say and do bad things.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if there’s something giselle did or said that upset you, i would love to know not to repeat it again (since i do still feel pretty new to the rp game, theres still plenty of time for me to make stupid mistakes). if its just a general lack of interest or uncertainty of where the plot should go, then you dont have to tell me i wont take it personally i promise ! 

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?: sometimes i can be made uncomfortable by certain things mentioned... it happens but its rare 

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. i don’t want to upset anyone personally and sometimes explaining the ins and outs of my discomfort make things ten times worse so i just. would rather not.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: i am the most nervous person you can meet and my brain is always giving me misinfo abt paranoia and random shit so i having clear concrete communication between two parties abt if something is going wrong or is being received poorly means the world to me.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGA1TIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: i need it !! i still feel relatively new to all this and i need to know whats going wrong to improve !! 

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: to help with my confidence in writing! i have v bad anxiety when it comes to sharing my works and i write a lot of other pieces alongside this blog on ao3 and i want to develop my writing skills just in general. when it comes to like the nuts and bolts of why i rp giselle specifically, its mainly to just have fun and have a laugh w my friends who are really awesome quincy writers

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  OH SO MANY! ive managed to fulfil a lot of my wishlist threads with like, giselle talking to characters she’s already zombified and i love all that angst but i want to do more stupid shit. i want to make it my personal goal to bully every quincy man and woman on sight. although a REAL dream would be if i got to write a thread zombifying a character who managed to escape giselle’s clutches. and more fighting! i want to get better at describing action and fights and i love to write giselle getting beat up and beating people up! more more more!! 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   hohoho theres a LOT... uh r*pe/dubcon threads for one, even if yeah i know writing it doesnt condone it, it makes me intensely uncomfortable to put my muse in that scenario, i feel like i have an obligation to like, protect her from that shit you know? racism is one i don’t want to transgress, even though i’m a poc, its not really cathartic or groundbreaking to write abt racism in threads its just... really fucking upsetting. also i know the quincy’s have this very close parallel to the whole n*zi imagery and ideology thing going on and i am not about to start even daring to thread that into my writing or bring those allusions and references of real life tragedies into giselle’s threads. i’ve already talked at length abt exploring giselles trans identity in rp and why im not comfortable doing so, so.... yeah! all those i guess.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: i like starters where giselle can just immediately get right into being a piece of shit. mise en scene and all that! cut out the build up and just get to the intense horror !! i don’t like starters where its not immediately clear where the characters are standing and what they’re doing and what’s happening around them. those really disorientate me and leave me kinda floundering because i always need some allusion or mention of a setting to ground giselle in a time and place other wise i cant tell what her response should be

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN EVIL WOMEN. also just characters i can wholeheartedly clown on, or also characters who have hidden depths to them and have a single panel of screentime. honestly it’s just all over the place!

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  angry old men GSADJDKSJA i could never rp yhwach for example or yamamoto because idk. theyre just so crummy and boring to me. i also couldnt rp characters who always have an upper hand in battle like aizen. i like my dumbasses and i like them stupid and adaptive not just, ‘yes i know this because i Know this.’

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: i think im nice...? FKSJDKDJSA idk i hate trying to toot my own horn. sometimes i also think i make funny jokes and im pretty chill and laid back

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: my writing style is inconsistent and adapts to whatever i’m reading so sometimes it’ll be really good and i love it and other times it reads like really bad fanfic and i get carried away far too easily and write novella lengths for threads which should be much shorter. i also get shy a lot and dont think i communicate very effectively but HEYO we’re working on it!

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS. haven’t had anybody brave enough to try yet lol

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?: more for fun i’d imagine because that’s just giselles own attitude to sex and relationships where she doesnt want anything deep. it might show character development in one way of just showing how she regards others in a romantic sense to be used rather than actually appreciated as their own person and show how selfish she is but yeah, more out of fun

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  theres a few kinks and such but i dont think they’d ever really come up. again, just mainly no r*pe/dubcon.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO lets hope this doesn’t make me sound like an asshole, but its more like a fun little side thing than anything important to giselle’s actual development and characterisation. 

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?: YES / NO. again, hardly anyone is brave enough to try to romance this evil cannibal.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

- WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: more how giselle likes to give over her power or dominate in different circumstances depending on who she’s with and what’s being done. BUT AGAIN, not a whole lot to explore yet.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - i mean im down for p much anything if it vibes w giselle.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: if you want an evil woman to taunt and mock and hurt your muse, she’s your gal. you want her to zombify and ruin your muse, shes also your gal. you want her to insult and maim and injure, she’s also YOUR GAL. basically, if you want to do anything fucked up or sad or scary, she can help with that.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  uh muses who get really angry quickly or don’t rise or respond to her jabs and are just kinda like a flatline. theres only so much pestering and annoying she can do until realises its not working and just wanders off

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  to find a goal worth living for.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  appearance she always takes an interest in girls almost right away. age as well because she judges old people. 

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  a good set of guts to ruin and strong muscles.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  women, gore, murder, herself, music, stupid memes, gossip.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  politics, history, quincy ideology, soul reaper ideology, hollow physiology.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  her family tried to force the burden of upholding the quincy lineage onto her shoulders, she was thrown into the wrong prison and held in isolation, then pressured to become an undying monster in service of a god and then was nearly killed by that same man and left wandering without guidance or purpose. so, yeah?

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  transphobia. even a whiff of it in her direction and she’ll gut you like a fish.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  the twink soul reaper who outted her.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  if you’re smart, you’ll bring a big bone for her to chew on and distract her while you ask whatever you want.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i love my evil queen!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @bazzardburner​ cheers chicken boy !!

Tagging: @hyouketsu​ @blooming5th​ @viciousvizard​ @glacies-tempestatem​ and whoever else wishes to do this!!

#dash games #// this took ages....

[carrotnosewitch]

The Bad Rep of Demons.

Back in the days of ancient Greece and Rome, there were creatures who helped inspire some humans, or just straight up taught them just about anything you can think of. These were called Daemons, or Daimons. Daemons were the personifications of abstract concepts like fear, hope, and wisdom. They were also teachers of humans about abstractions like the wisdom of those before them, and things like astronomy, medicine, and architecture.

Daemons were seen to have horns. Horns, in the myths of many cultures were bestowed upon those who are divinely wise or learned. They were also a sign of rulership over those abstractions. Most of these horns would meet in the center of the back of the head, and would shine and glow. Not unlike angels’ classical depiction of a halo.  In the religions that spawned Judaism, and also Muslim and Christianity, horns meaning wisdom and presiding over concepts was also a belief. Not only did they believe that horns were seen on rulers of abstract constructs, they also were depicted as holiness. There were several depictions of Moses with horns after he brought the ten commandments down. They also said that their god was depicted with horns. So how did these teachers and depictions come to be seen as a thing of malevolence?  The Romans were assholes is why. Let me explain. Look at this map of where Rome ruled in AD 96:

That’s a lot of ground to cover with just one religion that must be followed. How they did that was they learned about the present societies’ beliefs, and then were like “oh, haven’t you heard?” and acted like the society’s culture was valid within Rome’s beliefs. (How well did that work, one wonders, after the Inquisition happened. seems fishy.)

They absorbed a bunch of religions under their belief structure. These great and ancient religions which had been believed for all those societies over the course of time immemorial, had their benevolent and malevolent gods and figures. The Romans were like “hey look, those are the angels, and the demons, and they all work under God.”

This also included the ancient gods of Rome and Greece. “These lads are evil,” they said of their gods of the underworld or those who preside over death and destruction. “and these gents are good. They’re angels. Y’know, those things that the Assyrians believed in.” of the benevolent gods.

Romans weren’t very happy about people learning things which they weren’t suppose to meddle with, as anyone who wasn’t in government or church weren’t learned enough to know that shit. Those daemons, the ones who helped the ancient world in their understanding of how things worked became malevolent entities that were the spawn of evil, as the things they spoke were not from a singular, holy source. (That and ignorance is apparently bliss.) But the good ones who gave people hope and faith, they were turned into angels and saints. And even those guys were phased out a lot of the time. You’ll see that the majority of scripture only touch on the archangel and archdemons. They don’t really speak of lesser creatures, unless they need to pin a name on the thing possessing people’s bodies (which i’m not even going to get into rn, i have words abt possession.) The weird thing though, is that even the Arches were easy to trace down and back to the very ancient religions that came about long before Judaism. You can see the similarity of the angels and demons we know about and their Sumerian, Ancient Greek, Ancient Egyptian and other counterparts. The first of which is the name Yaweh, which is the name of a minor deity in Sumerian, and several other religions had other beings with a similar name. But he wasn’t the only god - or even the highest level of gods - but his name has become synonymous with The One God. I’m rolling my eyes right now.  Fun facts:

The fallen archangel Azazel has been demonized in some religions, but in some others, they consider him the angel of death, not unlike Thanatos and Anubus. He’s the one who scribes down each name of every person at the beginning of their life, and crosses their name out at their death. He’s also made of eyes and wings. Weird. Creepy.

The archdemon Asmodeus. I pick on him because he’s the one i’m most interested in. He also is the presiding spirit over mathematics, geometry,  and astronomy, and the patron of those who do handiwork and crafts. This guy has more name changes than Hollywood. He’s been recorded as being a thing since the wayback days of ancient Zoroastrianism, which is possibly the oldest still living religion. This dude’s name can be spelled a fuckton of different ways. But his reason for existing hasn’t changed. He is the being of wrath. You can find his name on a lot of sigils in alchemy, goetic and kabbalah faiths. 

Stolas. He’s an owl on stork leggies. He actually was one of the best known daemons. rather than having horns, he just straight up wears a crown, because a crown on an owl is kinda badass, ngl. He presides over astrology, herbs and poisons, and stones. Basically, Stolas is a fucking boss.

Astaroth is an archdemon, and a pretty big name in demonology. like, big as beelzebub and lucifer. The funny thing about this guy is that, despite being an archdemon is that before this whole Demon thing, he was known as Ishtar and Inanna, the beautiful Sumerian goddess who presided over sexuality, beauty and all the cool things Aphrodite is known for. In fact, they’re the same goddess by way of association. Oh, she’s also Astarte. Enjoy that complex “sex is evil” rabbit hole that Catholicism has opened up with Astaroth.

Speaking of rabbit holes, Baal, one of the Princes of Hell, started out way back as well, as far back as Canaanite beliefs, as one of the biggest gods in the area. Like. So big that apparently he’s a demon now because there’s no other way to make a single god have any competition. You could read all about him, and all these other ladies and gents.  So like, Demons are basically villainized otherworldly teachers who just got a backhand when Christianity came about. If it teaches you anything but piety, it’s probably a demon. Jussayin. 

#i wrote this #demonology #witchblr #witchy history #real witch