#remember like six months ago when all of this started and i was like omg i'm scared what's wrong with me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kysonwrites · 9 months

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ᵃⁿˣⁱᵉᵗʸ ⁻ ᵐᵃᵗᵗ ˢᵗᵘʳⁿⁱᵒˡᵒ

↳ summary: reader is having a very bad day, and has a panic attack. matt and madi are there for her though.

↳ warnings: mentions of anxiety, and crying. let me know if i missed any! :)

↳ author's note: by the way if anyone is struggling with mental health, please do not be scared to reach out, and talk to me. i love you all, and only want the best for you guys.

↳ disclaimer: reader is female, she/her pronouns used!

you were an influencer as well, thriving with six million subscribers on youtube, and a couple million on all other platforms. you started posting content around two years ago, and people grew extremely quickly to like you. then when you started dating matt sturniolo five months ago, and things went slightly downhill. you would get hate for dating him, he would get hate for dating you. the hate consisted of,

"why her?"

"she's so gross, omg..."

or.

"she could do much better then him."

"please he's so pathetic."

now you did a very good job on blocking the haters out, because you have many many more supporters and fans, then people who went out of their way to try to fuck up your ego. except for today, you had a twin sister, and she was your rock. your everything, she knew how to lighten your day better then anyone else could. she knew, and could feel when your anxiety was getting bad. only she was on a trip, to travel to get her new puppy, that you two would be sharing. you didn't tag along with her because you had videos to film and stuff to do.

something didn't feel right, your mind was filled with thoughts. you couldn't get them out of your head, you played with your fingers as you sat on the triplet's living room couch in la. while nick had his arm around you, talking to chris. you knew you were very attractive, everyone told you all the time. it wasn't your looks that bothered you, hell nothing bothered you. it was just one of those days, that nothing was the cause of making you upset, you just were upset.

"hey, you okay?" matt asked, emerging from the bathroom. he saw your zoned out state.

"yeah, no i'm good. just have to use the restroom." you rambled, before getting up, feeling nick's arm fall from you, and closing the bathroom door behind you. he knew something was up, but wanted to wait until you came out of the bathroom to talk to you about it.

you hadn't had a panic attack in years, you've became so much more healthier, and happier. you had nothing in your life to panic about anymore, but for the thousandth time that day, you felt strange. then you felt the tear fall from your eye, and you sat on the closed toilet seat.

"fuck." you whispered, as you felt your breathing pick up and your tears became to rush from your eyes quicker.

"y/n?" matt asked, you heard him knock.

"yeah?" you tried to sound calm, but it came out squeaky, and rushed.

"you okay? lemme in." he asked the first half, and demanded the other.

"i just,- okay." you tried to lie, but knew he already caught on and you stood up to open the door. as soon as you saw him, you held your chest struggling to breath.

"hey, hey." matt consoled you, as he lowered you to the floor with him. he held you in his arms, as you cried. "what happened, y/n/n?" he asked, not really expecting an answer, he just said it so you remembered he was there.

"i-" you tried to speak, but just clung to him tighter. if you could breath any harder, you did.

madi was your best friend, and she walked by the door looking for you. she gasped as she saw the state you were in, and she quickly moved to the kitchen to get you water.

"breath with me, okay?" he asked, guiding your hand gently to his chest to feel his breathing. "in and out, okay baby?" he saw your eyes, filled with tears. his heart broke, hes never seen you cry before. and it hurt him to see you like this, he hated it. "please don't cry, y/n/n." he said quietly, as your breathing began to slow down.

madi came back with water, and handed it to matt, to give to you. you took the water and sipped it, but when you saw madi's socks. you reached up for her hand, and she sat down next to you. she began to rub your back, smiling softly at you.

"better now?" madi said, nodding her head at you, waiting for an answer.

"yeah, thank you guys." you spoke, while standing up. matt helped you.

"wanna talk about it?" matt said, leading you to his room with madi following.

"sure, madi c'mon." she stopped at matts door frame, as if she didn't know if she was wanted. she stepped into matts room, and she shut the door behind her. you sat on the bed, and matt sat next to you, madi sat down on the other side of you. they looked at you, waiting for you to speak with such kind eyes. "i feel like i was just having an off day, y'know? nothing really made me sad, or panicked. i just felt like it." you explained, looking down kicking your feet while looking at them.

"i know, whenever you feel like that, just make sure you tell us next time." matt said, looking down at you with gentle eyes.

"never feel scared to talk to us, your my best friend. i love you." madi said, bringing you in for a hug.

"i love you guys both, so much." while madi was hugging you, you wrapped one arm around her, and opened the other for matt. he hugged you, and planted a kiss on your temple.

what would you do without them?

#matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #angst #fluff #comfort #madi filipowicz

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jaehyunnie77 · 1 year

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omg hi! Saw that your requests were open hehe yay 🥳 could I request for a secret bf jaehyun x y/n one where they went for a Christmas party and y/n stands under a mistletoe without knowing and her guy friend starts a convo with her below it causing their friends to point it out and make them kiss, so instead, she kisses him on the cheek, making jaehyun jealous and pouty 🥹

Hope it makes sense hahaha! You can switch it up in your way too 🥰❤️ Love your stories so so much ✨

pairing: Jaehyun x f. reader

genre: pure fluff - like the purest i think i've ever written

word count: 2.1k

a/n: i got busy during the holidays, but here's a late christmas fic upon requested. thank you so much anon for sending this in. i hope you enjoy it :)

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“I promise it’s going to be really quick babe. One hour max and then we can go home, order take out, and watch movies.” You tell your boyfriend as you adjust his tie.

“I just don’t see the point of why we have to be here when it’s freezing and Christmas is in a couple of days.” He says.

You look up after being satisfy with his tie and see a cute pout on his lips. He may be a twenty-five year old adult, but sometimes he can be a kid. Especially right now when he looks so adorable with his pout.

“Hey look at me.” you tell him as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. His hands mindlessly finding your waist and holding you close. “It’s going to be quick Jae and right after you’ll have me for the entire week.”

At that, his pout turns into a smirk and into a big smile. Like you’ve said, he can be a kid sometimes. “That sounds good honestly.” He leans forward and captures your lips together. If you didn’t have this Christmas party to attend to, you’d kiss him all night.

You pull away from him reluctantly, “We’re going to be late.”

He sighs deeply, “Okay. Just remember that I’m doing this for you. I’m guessing nobody has zero idea we’re together, so you go in first and I’ll follow soon after.” You smile at him before giving him another kiss.

“See you soon cutie.” You tease before heading in.

Your Christmas work parties are usually fun, especially when there’s alcohol and you get to see how fun your colleagues are. Usually, you’d enjoy your night out, mingle with everybody, and do small talk, but this year, all you want to do is go home with Jaehyun and spend time with him.

You both work at the same company and have been dating for six months. Of course, you would have to talk to HR about your relationship at one point, but you both like knowing that no one knows you two are together. Why? Well, let’s just say you both didn’t like each other at the very beginning. Yeah, how cliché right?

It all started a year and a half ago when Jaehyun was a new employee and your first interaction wasn’t the happiest one. You pulled an all-nighter the night before and haven’t had your morning coffee. As you walk into the kitchen, your brain automatically was filled with giddiness knowing you’re about to have your fuel for the day. There was a man using the coffee machine and you didn’t think much of it, let alone care who it was.

You stood next to him as you grab your cup and sugar pack and that’s when you heard a loud noise and a ‘fuck’ next to you. You look up to see the coffee machine smoking and you knew you were going to have a horrible day all because of this jerk.

“What the hell happened!?”

“I don’t know. I was just trying to put my brew in there and it just started acting weird and not doing anything so I just pushed all of these buttons and bam.”

“Ugh you idiot. If you don’t know how to work a coffee machine, go to Starbucks next time!” you say angrily.

“Are you questioning my intelligence on how to work a coffee machine?” the man looks at you angrily.

You stand a little straighter, “Yes I am because if you knew how to work this, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.

He squints his eyes before retaliating back, “Well maybe you should start being nice to people you don’t know or better yet, how about you make yourself a cup of coffee before coming into work and spoiling everyone’s day.”

Your jaw fell open because never in your life has anyone talked to you like that or have a comeback as he did. You were at a complete lost for words until he turned around to walk back out the kitchen.

“Yeah, well it still doesn’t fix the problem you created by not knowing how to work this thing.”

All the man could do was laugh at you before waving you off and exiting.

Just who the hell does he think he is?

Since that day, you made your own coffee at home before coming into work. Little did you know, he always saw you with coffee in your hand and notices how your smile captures your beauty. Sure, you were probably having an off day that first encounter, but he still couldn’t help that you somehow took his words into consideration by bringing your own coffee into work.

You’ve seen him around a couple of times, but never interacted with him until you both had an assignment together.

“Oh look who it is. The coffee machine breaker.”

“Good morning to you too Cruella.”

You make a face at him, “Trust me I don’t want to work on this assignment with you either.”

Jaehyun eyes you before playfully saying, “Who says I didn’t want to work with you?”

Surprise, you look at him to see his eyes twinkling and a smirk on his lips. Once again, you’re at a lost for words and don’t bother saying anything back. Instead, you focus on your laptop in front of you putting random ideas on Word.

Jaehyun sees the affect he has on you and couldn’t help but chuckle to himself. Cute.

Who knew that assignment would change the interjectory of your outlook on Jaehyun. You ended up spending your long days at work with him figuring and coming up with ways for this assignment and on days off, you both somehow manage to meet up and talk about things you had in common.

After said assignment project was finished, you both found yourselves spending more time together. You no longer were annoyed by him or called him ‘the coffee machine breaker’, but instead, you called him by his name or his nickname Jae. Eventually things fell into place soon after.

What can you say? The universe does work in mysterious ways.

As you grab a flute of champagne by the bar, you turn around to see your boyfriend walking through the door. Even if it has been six months you’ve been dating or see him walk around for almost two years, he still takes your breath away. The man knows how to capture everyone’s attention by his gaze and his well mannerism. Not to mention how hot he looks in his black and white suite.

I really can’t believe this man is my man.

As the party continues on, you manage to talk to a few colleagues and steal glances at Jaehyun from afar. It came to the point where you were almost playing a game of hide and seek.

“Wow. Look at you. Who knew you could dress up nicely.” Josh, your friend and ass kisser tells you.

“Everyone has their secrets. You clean up pretty nicely as well.”

“Thanks! Oh by the way, I just want to tell you that I think you’re an amazing person to look up to.”

“How many have you had to drink?” you chuckle. “But thank you for the kind words. If you’ll excuse me I –“

“Oh my god! Mistletoe! Y/N and Josh are under the mistletoe!” Someone on your right yells excitedly.

You see everyone near turn towards you as you look up and sure enough there is a mistletoe above you and Josh.

“Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.” Your colleagues chant in unison.

You shake your head from pure embarrassment, but also trying to find Jaehyun to somehow tell him it isn’t what it looked like. You finally see him in the back, his gaze intently on yours with an expression you haven’t seen before.

“Just one kiss.” Your coworker Joy says.

You look back to Josh who’s hoping more than anything you’d kiss him. Without wanting unwanted attention on you, you kiss Josh on the cheek. “There. Done.”

“No, that’s not –“

“Technically, that was a kiss. It doesn’t mean we have to kiss on the lips and we are not like that.” You explain yourself. Your eyes search for Jaehyun once again only to see him pouting and heading outside the balcony.

You follow him right out, not caring anymore about what took place or the people around you. The only focus you had in mind was your boyfriend. Once outside, Jaehyun was overlooking the city and even when he stands with his back facing you, he’s still handsome. You walk towards him until you’re standing beside him and taking in the city night lights.

“Babe-“

“There’s people around Y/N.” his tone is cold with a hint of frustration.

“Please Jae, it’s not what you think. I didn’t even know there would be a mistletoe, let alone be under one.”

“Do you know that he likes you? I heard him talking about you one day and telling everyone he was going to shoot his shot with you because he thinks you feel the same way.”

“Are you jealous?” the more he talked the more you couldn’t help but smile.

“I bet he made sure to stop under that mistletoe just so he could get a kiss from you.” he sneers.

“You know I don’t feel the same way he does. I only have feelings for you.” you step closer to him until you could feel his warmth embracing you.

Jaehyun exhales frustratingly, “I just wish it was me under that mistletoe.” He says quietly.

You look at your boyfriend and want more than anything for that to also be him. An idea pops into your head and you know what you have to do. It was either now or never.

“Come with me.” You take out your hand for him to hold.

“Where are we going?”

“On an adventure.” You smile up at him with round eyes.

How could he say no to that face and to you. He takes your hand and follows your lead back into the Christmas party. Once inside, you still don’t let his hand go even if he tried to let go of yours. All that did was make you hold onto him tighter.

You found a mistletoe and walked over to it and stopped underneath it. Jaehyun has zero idea what’s going on until he looks at his surroundings and finally up to see the mistletoe.

“Y/N –“

“Y/N and Jaehyun are under the mistletoe.” You hear someone whispering loudly to someone and soon enough the entire room has their eyes on you both.

“There’s people watching.” He says nervously.

“Let them. I don’t want to be here with no one else but you. I don’t care what people say as long as I have you by my side and I don’t want to hide us forever because I’m in love with you. Only you Jaehyun.”

At your confession he smiles widely and you couldn’t help but smile wider if that’s possible. You crane your neck up as he bends down to meet you halfway as your lips meet each other. You’ve had many kisses with Jaehyun, but this kiss is the first kiss to seal how you truly felt for one another and to show everyone that you love each other. His hands cradle the side of your face before one goes to your back as he dips you down. You yelp in surprise as the room gets louder from all the clapping and celebration.

He takes you back up and you’re left winded. The smile on his face is the only thing you see and the only one that matters.

“You’re crazy but I love you Y/N.” he pecks your lips.

“And I love you coffee machine breaker.” At that you both laugh at how far you’ve come.

“How about we get out of here and go watch movies?”

“Please. My feet has been killing me for the last hour.”

“Babe, that’s literally the time the party started.” He giggles.

“Yeah, I know. I don’t want to be here, I just want to be with you.”

“God you’re so cute. Let’s go.”

At that, you both left the party hand in hand and no longer hiding your relationship. Starting tonight, you get to show the world who makes you the happiest person on the planet.

Also … you may or may not be already planning for many more kisses underneath the mistletoe with the love of your life Jeong Jaehyun.

#jaehyun fic #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun imagines #nct fluff #nct fic #jaehyun x female reader

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joshfuckingkiszka · 2 years

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hey!!!! how do you think the boys would react to nipple piercings?????? i have mine done and i’m dying to know if they’d be into it and how they’d react seeing them for the first time 🤤

omg!! i have mine done too and i think about this so much!

i think josh would be sitting on the couch, talking about something he’s been talking about for hours. he’d been on tour in europe which allowed you the perfect amount of time to let them heal. you’ve been waiting patiently to show him your new piercings since he got home but - as much as you love him - the boy just won’t shut up. so, instead of waiting, you stand up in front of him. he’s confused but he’s josh so he keeps talking. you simply lift up your shirt to reveal your uncovered chest, now with two metal barbells going through the nipples. this absolutely silences him.

I feel like a jake girl would have yours done prior to meeting him, so the first time he sees them is the first time you sleep with him. at this point, you’ve had them for a while and kind of forget they’re even there. but the way his eyes darken exponentially at the sight of the cute jewelry you put in two weeks ago without a second thought, you definitely remember them. he would go absolutely feral for pierced nipples I just know it.

danny is hard to read on this one. I know he would love them, but how he shows it is what gets me. after sam had made a comment about neither of you being big risk takers, you immediately booked an appointment. when you get home, of course that lanky mf’s there and you can’t just whip them out in front of him. so you drag danny back to your bedroom, assuring sam you’ll be out in a few minutes. he would be kinda giggly, I feel, and his jaw would drop slightly when you show him. sam gets upset that you’re not back after 45 minutes.

I just know that sammy would have an absolutely doe-eyed look as you reveal your piercings. he would get quiet and it would make you nervous. “well?” you let out nervously. in a low voice, sammy would ask if he could touch them, and gets insanely sad when you tell him that he can’t for another six months. he reaches back for his phone and starts a countdown six months from that exact time and checks it multiple times a day every day. when the day finally comes, he’s all cocky. that is, until you absolutely dominate him and he absolutely lets you.

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oswaldsleftbicep · 3 months

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Hello there

Hope you're doing fine? If it's not too much of a bother I would like to ask for some headcanons of married life with the demon Bro's with their mc's (gender neutral)?

married life with lucia, levy, & mefy

i got so excited seeing this ask lemme tell you- also, i wrote this with a more human!au feel as opposed to canon

also, throwback to my proposal hcs, can y'all believe that was two and a half years ago??

genre: fluff

cw: language it's to be expected at this point

Lucia

❧ he's most definitely the breadwinner out of the two of you so he won't mind if you decide to be the trophy spouse; however, if you decide to follow your own career path, he's your number one supporter and most certainly brags about you

❧ omg he's helpless with grocery shopping, please do not send him out on his own. as a matter of fact, don't even take him with you unless you have time to spare cuz mans will get distracted by everything. if for some reason he's the only one able to go run errands, you need to give him the most detailed list ever: brand, exact name of the item, what color container it comes in, etc

❧ can't cook for shit, he just wasn't taught growing up, so most of the food prep comes from you. he'll die before he makes his partner do all the housework, so if you cook then he's washing the dishes

❧ he picks up on other household chores too, most of the time completing them without you having to ask first; he does a great job with it too, but he much prefers to have you help him. he's very much into quality time, so any chance you have to fold laundry or dust the shelves together is taken

❧ just because you're married now doesn't mean dating and celebrating the small stuff comes to an end!! he goes all out for wedding anniversaries, opting to celebrate them biannually at the six months marks. he also remembers when your first date was and when he asked you to be his, and he does a little something special on those days too, like getting you flowers or taking you back to where you had your first date

❧ he likes doing date nights on fridays, usually going to a restaurant or some local attraction like a light show or ice skating. he'll also take you on monthly weekend trips to a different city or to the beach or mountains. as much as he loves going out, he's a big softie for nights in with you doing something like a spa night or game night which can get pretty competitive so watch out lol

❧ he'd definitely want to start a family with you; he grew up with younger siblings so having one or two little ones running around would just be a natural fit for him. because he's so eager for it, the topic is discussed probably before y'all even get married

❧ whether or not you do want kids, he's also keen to getting a pet. he's partial to dogs but will be perfectly fine with any animal you'd like to adopt! be it kids or animals, just having something to raise with you will make him feel fully content in life

❧ when looking for a house, he likes to keep the idea of a growing family in mind and looking for something with enough room and a nice yard to run around in. he's been dreaming of moving into a house with you and combining your belongings and finding the perfect spots for everything. leaves most of the decorating and style choices to you, but best believe he's giving his opinions and being as involved as possible

❧ just imagine painting a room together and getting paint all over each other and play fighting, or spending a late night in a room filled with boxes, eating takeout on the floor, chatting endlessly about the life ahead of you :,)

Levy

❧ in a marriage with him, you'd both have to work to support the finances; he'd probably have some sort of scholarly/academic job or a career in local government, and having one income won't quite be enough to support the two of you comfortably

❧ can't cook very well either, he really did try to learn but he could never get the hang of it and always ends up burning something. much prefers home cooked meals or something on the healthier side, but won't be opposed to some takeout after a hard day at work

❧ he loathes doing housework spoiled brat but he'll be damned if he makes you do everything while he sits back and watches, so he'll take on some of the easier tasks like dusting, folding laundry, or specifically drying the dishes

❧ prefers to only celebrate your annual wedding anniversary, but he makes up for it by going all out and making each one special. he takes his time planning out a trip that would be meaningful for the two of you, or saving up to get a nice gift for you. he also does the same on valentine's day. one thing you'll do on your anniversary tho is pick a book that you've read that the other hasn't, annotate it, and then exchange books to read and add your own annotations to it. there's a bookshelf designated for these books only so they can stay together

❧ he's great with grocery shopping, always remembers what y'all need even without a list. you trust him enough to send him out alone, you know he'll always get the brands you like and what variant you prefer. he's also like incredible at budgeting and finding a bargain which is so necessary in this economy. tries to stick to what's on the list, so if you try to sneak in anything extra he'll give you the mom stare but eventually give in and allow you one (1) treat

❧ prefers nights in over date nights out, so the two of you will often stay on the couch and watch a movie or pick a book and read it together. if these get boring, he also enjoys completing difficult puzzles with you or playing mystery themed games. for out of the house dates, the two of you will often visit historical sites or museums; you frequent these places so often that you probably have memberships to them

❧ y'all likely opt for a modest home that's cozy enough for the two of you until the discussion of starting a family comes about. he'll most likely want kids, but it won't be for a little bit into y'all's marriage. until then, you keep pets to fill the house with a little more life. he's partial to cats or a more independent animal, but won't fight you on getting a dog, although he makes it perfectly clear that you are the one taking care of it

❧ one of the first things he does when you move into your new home is map out where to put your library lmao but other than that, he's actually really helpful in decorating and choosing paint and furniture. his preferred decor style is like a history professor's poorly lit office, so the house can look a bit,, cluttered at times, but the way you set everything up makes it easy for the two of you to navigate

❧ will take any opportunity he gets to call you by his last name or refer to you as his spouse, and he has the most sickeningly sweet expression every time he does

Mefy

❧ the two of you decide to split the finances and each have a career. the funny thing is, though, you have no idea what he does for a living. every time you ask him he's so vague with his answers that you eventually just stop asking. if anyone else asks, you just tell them that he works in an office or does freelancing. sure, it's concerning and quite frankly irritating that he won't tell you,, but you don't think you'd wanna know what he actually does,,

❧ he's not a big fan of running errands- he claims it's because he's too busy but he really just doesn't like the hassle- but if you ask early enough he'll go with you. make him push the cart. he hates it but just manipulate him by saying you're the one who made the list and therefore know what to grab, it's only fair he pushes the cart for you. he is good at finding bargains, tho, as well as hidden gem brands that you've never heard of before but are actually way better than what you've been getting

❧ outright refuses to do the dishes. the most he'll do is load/unload the dishwasher, but that's only if you ask nicely and he's in a good mood. leaves you to do the cooking too, but only early on in your marriage because he just,, doesn't know how to cook. he learns by watching you, but if you don't know how to cook very well either then the two of you will just learn together! it's one of the few sweet domestic moments you have with him regularly. don't worry, he picks up the slack by doing other household chores like dusting, vacuuming, and laundry

❧ he's so weird with anniversaries, even before marriage. he only celebrates the big milestone ones, like wedding anniversary and he'll even continue celebrating your old dating anniversary. he thinks celebrating smaller anniversaries like first kiss or even being married for six months is dumb, but that doesn't mean he forgets about them. instead he'll bring it up casually during dinner and ngl it shocks you that he remembers so much. he opts to plan something small and intimate for anniversaries, thinking that going all out is a waste of energy

❧ the two of you will not call it a day until you've had your nightly debriefing where y'all talk about your day, what went good, what was bad, who said what, etc. this rolls over into your weekly bitch sessions where the two of you stay in, have a self care session, nurse a drink of your choosing, and just straight gossip and speculate

❧ if you want kids, that's gonna have to be a serious discussion with him and there's gonna have to be a lot of planning going into it. he never really saw himself having children, it's very high maintenance, but with time, planning, and a lot of reassurance, he'll grow fonder of the idea. pets are perfectly okay with him, tho he does prefer something on the more cleanly and low maintenance side

❧ when it comes to moving house, he'd prefer something on the smaller side, a great contrast to what he's used to. he'd love an older house too, something with soul and character. he secretly has a blast picking out paint colors and furniture with you, but he's so unbearably picky about everything. he has a very specific set of taste and style, and he's not willing to compromise on much

❧ there's probably gonna be a lot of petty arguing with this one over,, pretty much anything, but it's all in good humor and never with bad intentions. for the most part, being married to him is no different than how it was dating him, only with more responsibility

#my. hcs #nightmare harem #nightmare harem hcs #nightmare harem lucia #nightmare harem levy #nightmare harem mefy #otome games

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devitalise · 11 months

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Omg I really thought this would be the month I'd beat you to the punch with a check-in but once again time has evaded me & May is, in fact, over in a mere few days 🤥 I think I need to start keeping a physical calendar again to avoid these jumpscares BUT ANYWAY!!! MAY READS!!!! END OF SUCCESSION THOUGHTS!!! WHAT ON EARTH IS IMO GONNA WATCH & READ NEXT!!! 🎤

maybe next month you'll get me.. answering this a lil early so excuse any thoughts that aren't Fully Developed i'll just be away from my laptop and you know how much i love these

may book wrap up

in cold blood by truman capote

i can't remember what i said about this last month. maybe i'm the only person in the world who didn't know this was a "true crime novel" i thought i just picked up a fictional crime genre book. my mistake! general personal thoughts on the gross peversive nature of true crime aside, i think this as investigative journalism (with a questionable bias, fictionalised events, general capote tendecy to lie and gossip) i didn't hate reading it. i could absolutely tell how taken Capote was with Perry Smith in this, he kept coming back to reiterate details about his upbringing and i had to skim parts just because they were of little interest to me. i haven't read anything where the author has managed to so completely remove themselves from their writing like this before. took me a while to read it was a kindle choice and i struggled with reading this month.

podcast: overdue (really enjoyed this podcast set up, actually.) music: red dead redemption 2 soundtrack and this playlist

the piano teacher by elfriede jelinek

unlikable loathsome woman in Austria, this time. really dislike books like this, and this was barely any different. i think Jelinek as an author is neat, i see why she won a nobel peace prize, i'd love to be able to read German to get what was lost in translation. didn't love the story at all here. menacing and gross. what i found most interesting (and hated reading in equal parts) was erica's fucked up relationship with her mother. hate your mother hate the part of her that lives within you, etc etc. i thought this would be sexier, or at least just have more sex like the blurb promised, but other than a few voyeuristic encounters it lacked it completely. sexless and stale. a lot of men dislike this book, though, so if anyone asks then i absolutely loved it.

i read two reviews about this, both with opposing views to my own but interesting to read. music: this soundtrack that almost sent me to sleep. won't be watching the movie

heatwave by victor jestin

it got hot towards the end of last week and i could finally crack open this short little book. i didn't hate it, wasn't blown away by it either. apparently i don't read blurbs - another shock here! i think because these are books that i bought so many months ago when it comes to reading them it's like oh?? well. i was distracted and tanning and drinking gin & tonics whilst reading, and i think this needed more of my attention than i could give. or maybe that's just me being generous.

no links for this one. pending.

i'm currently reading bonjour tristesse by francoise sagan. i've actually finished it but there's two stories in one so i'm on A Certain Smile now. more french books, they're the only books i have set in the summer at the moment. i started reading it on the beach, too.

i bought some new books: season of migration to the north by tayeb smith, the thief's journal by jean genet, my father's diet by adrian nathan west, and diary of a film by niven govinden. i've been reading some really hard books this year (and have bought four more) so i'm gonna switch lanes to some easier reads. the atlas six and nightbitch are probably the easiest of the ones i own at the moment.

AHHHH SUCCESSION.

kendall roy....

i have mixed thoughts about the ending i think it makes perfect sense what went down with the siblings, it doesn't mean that kendall being betrayed hurts me any less. i'm emotionally exhausted after finishing it so i've been watching cooking competitions on netflix. next is the sopranos as my Drama of Choice

also i've been listening to the once upon a time at bennington college podcast you recommended! really enjoying it so far

#book talk #djservo #i didn't know if i'd even finish one book this month tbh #saving my next rachel cusk read for when i really need a pick me up

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astro-inthestars · 2 years

Note

Adding positivity to the dash! Whats something *you* deem as special about someone in your life you think about? Why is it special?

SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT SOMEONE SPECIAL TO ME?!?!??! YOU'RE ASKING ME THIS????

WELL SHIT BESTIE I MAY BE LATE BUT YOU ASKED THE DARN RIGHT PERSON

AHEM AH E M M MM

Starting off strong!!

@clausgender - Lake Landon Lazuli Phas Claus. Okay but. For real right now you changed my life I really can't specify why and how but you just did. Something special about you is just how... proud you are. Life has thrown shit at you, but you gave no fucks and threw some right back. You're amazing and you've taught me so much. I look up to you. It's kinda funny, you are one of the most human people I know, yet I know you want to be anything but a human being <3 (also everyone else in the chaosites have their own special thing but god knows how long that'll be but just let them know they're all epic and awesome <333)

@brainless-but-thats-all - Bee you are here by default bestie when the Lake is here you must be as well. You are both soul bound. You cannot escape. /hj But seriously you're here because you are also very special to me <333 What I find special about you is your silliness! This is not a surprise <3 You're just a silly guy! No matter what you do, you're just inherently very silly! Your texting habit is silly, your roleplay is silly, and even when you give advice you're silly! Not messing around kinda silly, you're sweet and soft about it. You don't let anything be too serious! It's refreshing ya know? And you and Lake just click, your friendship is really nice to witness :]

@slymanner - Tony bestie I know we just formally got to know each other about two months ago but it already feels like forever burger bro. Something special about you is just how alike we are! Remember we first got a long because we had the same vibes? You remind me of me and it just felt like we were meant to click. But remember, you're more than that to me! You're silly, you're funny, you're kind, and you're chaotic as heck <333 You're awesome. Burger bros against the world!

@joyflameball - Cassie Rose you are awesome and you are an obligatory part of this list *holds you like a cat by the scruff* you cannot escape my positivity and love. Something special about you is how utterly unhinged you are, and yes, it seems I'm very drawn to unhinged people! With all your passions you're just so deranged about them /pos it's inspiring how passionate you are that it makes you want to bite a piece of media and shake it like a chew toy <3

@ghost-vessel - GHOST MY BIG SIB HIIII one of my many online siblings <333 Met you through Deltarune but totally met met you as a person through Omori! What a chance amirite? And I'm glad I did! To me, something special about you is how calm you are! Like, you're easy to talk to... You're super duper chill and just an all around great guy(gnc)! Just random talks with you is really nice, sib!

@just-jammin - JUST JAMMIN LYRIC LYR JAM PRIDEDRAFT X!!! One of the ogs fr <33 I've known em since I first got on Tumblr in the Six the Musical fandom- Yeah weird first Tumblr Fandom don't ask <3 Something special about you to me is how helpful you are! Or moreover how you're always so willing to help. It's not always a good thing to try to help everyone, trust me I know. But either way you still try your best to help! Wherever you end up next is gonna be your call, but I know you'll still be trying to help anyone along the way. Just don't forget to help yourself sometimes, okay? You're worth more than who you help or what you make!

@ayyyyysexual - Void sibestie omg... here is another online sibling of mine <3 ....Actually almost everyone on this list is almost a sibling to me.... huh. Well anyways! VOID OH MY GOD heyyyyy :] my favorite triple A battery (i think?? unless you're demi now because of a certain someone ;)- OKAY I'M GOING) Something special about you is how utterly chaotic you are- HAHA I'M SERIOUS! You're just so chaotic I really can't imagine how'd it be if you weren't! Or how'd it be if I didn't have it in my life! You're a silly little abyss ya know?

@bloop-arts - BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP THEOOOOOOO HAIIII surprise surprise, another sibling! ....I have a lot of siblings that lack a gender. Anyways, Bloopothy....... Paps! Something special about you is your inherent warmth.... And by that I mean your vibes are just so.. warm! It's hard to describe them any way else! You're very kind and bright and you just have this comforting warmth that's very special to me! And I'm sure it's special to a lot of people too! Papapapapap

@borkthemork - Bork.... Borky Bork Bork whose real name is really pretty but I'm still afraid to use! One of the coolest ever.... You didn't think I'd put in BLOOP and not put in the BORK didja??? Nononono my friend! They are a package deal! A duo! Set: Do Not Separate! To me, something special about you is your autism swag! I'm kidding, partially- But in all seriousness its your patience. I would say smarts, your intelligence, your calm and collected attitude, but in the end those all tie into your patience! Your patience with people, your patience with yourself, your patience with understanding others and your own emotions. It's nice...

@cute-as-buttons - SASHA!!! BUTTONS!!! MOOOOMMMM!!! First parent on the list <3 You became my parent out of association with my dad, who is your ex, so you are my ex-step-mom but either way you're still a mom to me <333 Something special about you to me is your sweetness. It seems simple, right? But, you should know that simple things can be beautiful. You have a nice warm energy to you, somewhat akin to Bloop's, but it's certainly catered to your own. Your kindness just makes you seem.... alive. Real. Human. You laugh, you cry, you joke, you smile, you live. It's good.

And now for the general mentions!

@pyroclastic727 @honneibun @maritasdump @ectoplasmic-knife @miraclesprinkles @mira-blue @wormautopsy @generalyunan @ohyoumeanher and everyone else in the Amphibia server, those I missed! You are all so special to me. Though you guys are HUGE and there's a lot of you, you all make me feel at home with your chaos. Your art, your writing, your jokes, your drama, all of it. It's one big frog community and we're all just enjoying where the chemicals in the water are taking us <3

@ask-the-daeu-mod-hub everyone in the utdr askblog fandom, you guys opened me back up to close knit communities after a while of just being in my own bubble.... You were all the gateway, the start of my true freedom. The silly bullshit we all get into, the angst, the lore, the memes- Honestly, you guys changed my life. I was in the Amphibia server before this, but I was honestly still kinda messed up.... you guys really helped. Thank you.

And all my old friends from the beginning of tumblr, @djts-arts @altairtalisman @spooner7308 @san-shui @cryptidmuppet @pandora-dusk my bunfriend, and a lot more. You guys were the real start of it all. Seriously, where would I be without you all? If it weren't for you guys, I probably wouldn't have survived this hellsite. Thanks, for guiding me til I can stand on my own. I'm glad to know that I have a lot of people catching me if I fall though.

#astroanswers #kaibigan kong mahal #lovely rambling #i think this counts as that #DECIDED TO ANSWER ASKS TODAY WHAT A SHOCKER AMIRITE AHAHHAHA #SORRY EVERYONE <3333 #sorry for the @s too but.... positivity was meant to be spread so i WILL spread it

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eroticcspy · 9 months

Text

Meeting/First Time (Angry Sex/Tension) follow @eroticspy on wattpad for more !

pov: Selene

It was Saturday and I’ve been anticipating his arrival to Ocean City. I have known Roman for about six months now and the start has been rocky. We were totally different people but slowly overtime we got used to each other. I always was attracted to him but didn’t want to admit it because I didn’t want to risk losing our connection in case he didn’t feel the same way.

Well, for the last two months, we started getting a lot closer. He lives all the way in Arizona but occasionally goes to Puerto Rico to visit his dad for his construction projects. Well, we made a plan for him to come and visit me tomorrow and I’m supposed to pick him up at 7:00am. Ugh, I’m so excited to see him but there’s been some problems recently.

We’ve been talking and he would have unexplained mood swings and it caused us to not talk like we used to for about a week or so. I don’t know why it’s hard for him to just tell me about what’s been going on or why he’s changed. Did I go too far with how I spoke with him? No, that can’t be it. I wish he would stop acting so immature and just tell me what’s happening.

He texted me about where to meet him in the airport tomorrow and I just started crying because I hated when I couldn’t tell how people felt. It’s not like if he were here in real life where I could see his expressions and how he acted so I can just guess. I lashed out on him about it the night before that because I do really like him, in a romantic sense. He didn't tell me much except that he was gonna be okay and that made a wedge between us. I don't know if he’s as angry as I am, I don’t think he has the right to be.

Next Morning

Pov: Roman

*exits plane*

As I walked down the stairs, I felt a little bit of guilt. Yes, I was excited that I was finally here but I couldn't stop thinking about Selene and how she’s feeling. I’m not stupid and know that what I did is wrong but I just didn’t know how to express that to her. I love her so much and I know that she knows that. There was always a spark between us and it’s the best thing I’ve ever experienced with someone else and I couldn’t believe that there was this wedge between us right now, but it is my fault. The last thing I want to do is hurt her.

I walked over to the food court to grab a coffee but I was never really a coffee drinker so I just got the drink that Selene tells me about. She loves caramel and chocolate and things of that nature so I went on to search for a drink that matched that. The closest this I could find that resembled it was a Caramel Cocoa Frappuccino, fuck that was a mouthful.

I got both her and I a drink and then went to wait for her to come and meet me. I have never been this nervous in my entire life. I’m gonna stay with her for two months and anything could come out of this, I’m really excited for this new chapter.

Pov: Selene / 5am

OMG, I hated waking up early. As soon as I woke up I had that brain fog moment where your brain is loading and you remember who you are and what you’re planning to do. I wasn’t gonna put too much work into my looks right now cause I woke up 30 minutes late but I think I can pull it off. I turned on the shower and waited for it to warm up for a bit while I layed out my clothes. I entered the shower and I had a magical feeling come over me. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. I know I was mad at him but still…this is happening in real life. I closed my eyes and imagined him here in the shower with me, caressing me. I was interrupted by the sound of my cat falling off a shelf, he always did that.

I got out and went on to wear my outfit which was a blue navy plain crop top and some black bootcut jeans and some sneakers. I put on my usual makeup and I straightened my hair two days ago. I just curled it this morning and I loved how it looked. I put on a big jacket because airports were always cold. I kissed my cat goodbye and was on my way.

The drive took about an hour and I wasn’t really that used to driving for long distances so I felt tired after but we made it. Everything was starting to feel surreal and I got a rush out of this. I made my way to the doors and looked around everywhere. I know he gave me the exact number for where he would be but I got lost as soon as I went in.

Pov: Roman

She was supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago so I gave her a call.

📱….

Roman: Hey Selene

Selene: Yes i know, I’m lost

Roman: Stay where you are, just tell me where you are

Selene: I can find you myself you know

Roman: Clearly you can’t and I don’t mean that in a harsh way. Let’s make this easier for both of us. Tell me where you are okay

Selene: ugh fine…

Roman: Save that attitude for later, tell me where you are

Selene: Well I don’t know for certain but I’m where there's a big “A” sign and there’s a small McDonalds here.

Roman: Stay where you are, I know exactly where that is.

Selene: Okay, see you soon.

Pov:Selene

Okay this feels way too real now. I can’t stop shaking omg…

I didn’t know where to stand because I didn’t know what side he was gonna come out of so I just kept spinning in circles like an idiot.

There he was…

I don’t know if he saw me yet or not but I just felt this rush of excitement and nervousness run through my body but I knew I had to make the move.

I saw that he turned his back around and I was now behind him and I couldn’t lose him. I slowly but quickly walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. He immediately puts his hands around my waist as I put mine around his neck. His hair felt soft to the touch and his skin felt warm and comforting due to the coldness around us. I felt so safe in this moment that I forgot about the problems that we had, I just wanted him to hold me and for us to go home together and spend the night in his embrace.

“Hi” I said to him with tears forming in my eyes. They weren’t sad tears but happily nervous tears. He just kept holding my head to his chest as I couldn’t stop the tears anymore.

“Hey Selene,” he said as he held the side of my face with his left hand, lifting my face up to look at him. I was a crying mess but I didn’t care much, I couldn’t help but admire his noticeably attractive body. From the veins in his hands to the muscles on his arms, I wanted it all.

“I think we should start making our way back,” I told him and so we went on our way.

(An Hour And A Half Later)

We were home now but I could tell he didn’t want to do too much talking. I showed him where the bathroom was and then let him do his thing. About an hour later when I walk out of my room, he’s asleep on the couch with my cat Maya, walking around and staring at him.

I call her to come over to me so he can sleep in peace. It was now 7pm and he was still asleep, jet lag is a bitch. It felt weird knowing he was here while I was in my room but I was excited for him to wake up as I had already cooked some lasagna for us. I was sitting at the edge of the couch as I heard a groaning noise and I knew it was him. I loved that noise and it made me go feral. I go up to where his head is dangling from the couch and I whisper to him, “wake up!” he gradually wakes up as I support his head on my right shoulder.

Pov:Roman

Even though I was awake, I still felt a bit tired but I could support myself. The first thing I see when I wake up is Selene and I felt neck pain. I sat upright on the couch and she was there sitting at my feet.

“Finally you’re awake” she says in an exciting voice. I probably look like a mess right now but she comes and sits right next to me.

“Is there anything you need?” she asks me and I tell her no but that I was hungry. She goes to the kitchen and sets up a small table on the floor for both of us. I thought that that was so sweet and it would be a more intimate experience for both of us. I sit on the floor as I wait for her to bring our meals.

“Thank you for everything, Selene”, I tell her and she replies saying you’re welcome. She looked so pretty and I was in awe that this was really happening right now. I just wanted to hold her waist and hold her tight and I could tell that she was nervous too.

Pov:Selene

Everything was going great but I then thought this was a good time to bring up our recent problems.

“So..are you finally gonna tell me about why you’ve been distant lately?”. He slowly drops his fork and gives me a kind of surprised look.

“I know that you know what I’m referring to Roman” I look down as to not make it more tense for him.

“Selene, I promise it’s not that big of a deal and it’s over now”.

“What do you mean it’s over now? You started only texting me in the afternoon, leaving me on delivery for hours at a time, and ignoring some of my calls and just overall haven’t been fully participating. Can you please tell me what's wrong and what I did wrong so that we can fix this. We literally didn’t talk for two days before this until last night when you told me about how we would meet up.”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now” he says and then he continues to eat.

“You can’t disrespect me like this, especially for something so simple. I’m not the crazy one here and you know that” fuck..tears were forming up. I could never argue with someone without crying and I already knew that this argument was coming up but I guess I wasn’t prepared.

“Don’t cry” he says while following me as I quickly walk to my bedroom. I didn’t want to deal with this right now and needed some time to think. Before he can follow me, I slam the door and lay down in front of it. I didn’t want to see him but I didn’t want to be away from him. I could hear him sit down at the bottom of my door and I couldn’t help myself but kept crying. Everything was going so well and now this?? I was angry at him but I still wanted him close to me. I sensed when he left and went into the guest room, I didn’t know what he was doing though.

As I closed my eyes and was in a state where I felt like I was sleeping but I wasn’t sleeping I felt a knock at the door.

“Selene” I heard multiple times and then decided to open the door because why not?

Pov:Roman

I knew exactly what Selene was referring to and it was so stupid of me. I started to become distant because I wanted to lose feeling for her…yes I know, that dumb. But I just didn’t think that she felt the same way about me so I didn’t want to be disappointed when I came over to be with her. Why are us men so dumb…i don’t know. This was definitely one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made but I needed to fix it.

I went to my suitcase to change into something more comfortable and the nearest things I could reach were my tank top and shorts.. Not only was it comfortable but Selene would love it I’m sure. As I open up a bottle of water, I spill it all over my tank top great…I really needed this to happen right now. But there was no time to be angry over this.

I then went into my carry on to take out these special candy arrangements that my dad had given me, she really loves chocolates so I think I could at least get her attention with it and make her feel comfortable enough to talk with me. I nervously make my way down the hallway with it in hand and I kneel down the door and knock because I knew that she would be there. Through the small opening at the bottom of the door, I saw her shadow laying there but I couldn’t tell if she was awake or not, so I knocked and waited.

Pov:Selene

I thought about all the outcomes that could come if I opened this door. Yes I was mad at him but I loved him and I did ever since the moment we started talking. I needed him right now not only to hear about his journey but to be comforted by him. I was touch deprived I have to admit and I haven’t really had the physical touch I’ve wanted and needed throughout my life. Not from family or friends because I didn't fully feel like I could be confined to them. My only real friends lived really far away so I’ve had to have mostly just acquaintances and that’s not the best thing.

I’ve fantasized a lot about him in the past and how our time together would be. I’ve always wanted him because I’ve known him for over two years and have seen him through thick and thin, told him about all of my problems, he’s comforted me through all of my moments and shown me nothing but love and compassion. This is the man that I want and I was gonna have him tonight.

I stood up and pushed away the blanket I had brought to the ground with me and I opened the door and there he was but not in the same outfit. He was now shirtless and wearing very thin fabric shorts, it was hard to look away. I backed away letting him in and he towered over me making me feel cornered but I didn’t hate the feeling.

“What ?” I asked quietly while keeping my head down because I didn’t have the courage to look at him.

“I’m really sorry” he says as he brings out his hand for me to hold it but I didn’t. “I know I’m in the wrong and I really want us to talk about it because it’s something that’ll be a really big turning point in our friendship, I really don’t want you to think that I’ve hurt you on purpose, we just need to talk it out”.

I turn around, fighting tears and he waits for me to say something but I don’t.

“Can you just leave please” I try to say in a firm voice but it was broken.

“It’s okay, I understand. You can come to me when you’re ready to talk and you’re not obligated to forgive me, I love you Selene”. He walks out the door, and leaves the box of chocolates at the bottom of my door. I waited a few seconds to go and get them and I had never seen these before. It took a quick search to find out that these weren’t from the U.S but from Puerto Rico. I open the box to take out a square and it had a mango-ish taste to it with some caramel. I eat a few more before I look at the clock and it reads 11:09pm. It was getting really late and my mind hadn’t settled enough for me to go to bed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about him and felt guilty everytime I knew he was on the other side of the door waiting for me. I knew he truly felt sorry because he was an honest person to me always and we would always talk out our problems but it just wasn’t the right time tonight. I try to go to bed but I can’t, I really need him right now and I can’t resist.

I think now is the right time

I nervously open my door and make my way over to the guest room. I didn’t know if he was asleep or not but I still opened the door. There he was laying on his side facing the window and omg he looked so calm and hot at the same time. I slowly made my way around the bed to get in front of him.

“You’re here” he says as he sits right up on the bed.

“Yeah I’m here” I say in a quiet voice. I couldn’t help but notice his features from the vines in his hands to his eyes and muscles. I sit at the edge of the bed looking at him. I feel that I’m too far away from him and go sit next to him instead. I couldn’t help myself when he offered for me to get closer to him. I end up between his legs and his hands wrapped around my torso. I threw my head back making it land onto his shoulder, feeling his breath hit my neck and the soft kisses he gave me as he worked one of his hands from my torso to my chin, holding it up. It made me want more.

I quickly got up and turned around to face him, now sitting on his lap. He wrapped his hands around my back as I held the back of his head and the side of his face. I loved the small whimpers coming out of him as I rubbed on his cock. He crashes his lips into my mouth which throws me under him on the bed. I held on to his neck, feeling the pressure every time we came in for another kiss. He tasted like strawberries and I loved the feelg of his tongue against mine.

He post ironed himself in a kneeling position in front of me and proceeded to take off his shorts. I squeezed my legs together as I was getting more excited by the second.

“Can I ?” He signals to me as he’s wanting to take my shirt off. As he rolled it over my head I could see the carvings on his chest and arms, the way his heart was beating and the way his cock rubbed against my abdomen with every move he made. He comes back on top of me, this time holding one of my legs up and using the other hand to hold on to the sheets as he starts to do a thrust like motion everytime we went in for a deeper kiss. “You taste so good” he says in a breaking voice as he’s giving me hickeys on my neck. Each bite felt like heaven.

I get up and slowly play him down on the bed. I sat myself upright on his abdomen.

He reaches out and places both his hands at the sides of my wais, they felt more.

“I thought you wanted to talk this out” he says in an amusing voice.

“We can talk later”

I started to lay wet kisses going from his mouth to his neck and working my day down to his chest. I started to lick down his torso making my way down to his cock. As I got closer, I could hear his moans getting louder and breathing get heavier. I can feel his precum oozing out onto my bits. I can’t wait anymore and get between his legs, arching my back and starting to lick the tip of his dick. “Auughh” sounds he let out continuously. I loved that I was making him feel this way and could also feel my clit begging for his touch. I swirl my tongue around it, teasing him along the way. As I closed my eyes I felt something come over me and it was him, knees on the bed in front of me.

“Get up” he says, I follow his instructions getting on all fours in front of him. He holds my hair back with both hands as I continuously kept sucking him from tip to base. The gags were not stopping but felt so good as I felt completely overtaken by him, hearing his moans made it even better as I could feel the hardness of my nipples. I can't help it and tears start coming out of my face as the stroking into my mouth continues.

“Look at yourself” he says as I move my eyes up to look at him, both of us making eye contact, it was tiring but pleasing at the same time. I took a gasp for air every ten or so seconds . “Maybe if you weren’t such a whore you wouldn’t be in this position” he says as the whimpers break his sentence. He knew what he was doing and this only made me go harder. I stop, not wanting him to finish yet.

Pov: Roman (🤭)

I let out a desperate grunt as I felt her stopping. I got up, slamming her onto the bed and holding her legs up as she kept squeezing her thighs together and slowly taking off her shorts, I threw them and put them aside as I laid myself down between her legs. I tease her by swirling my tongue around her opening whilst holding her legs tightly. Every moan she made makes me want to go deeper and with more suction.

I make my way to her clit where I slowly start going in circular motions, as I kept doing so, I could feel my cock pulsing as I thrusted myself onto the bedding. I feel a hand going onto my head, holding it down and I keep going, knowing she’s about to climax by the way her whimpers get more desperate. I stop and go get on top of her, taking my left arm to hold hers out onto the bed as we locked our hands together. I slide in a finger and I start kissing her neck as she throws her head back onto the bed moaning in pleasure.

I slid in a second finger this time, thrusting them inside of her as I rubbed her clit with my thumb. “Look at me” I say in a soft voice, wanting to know that she was okay and safe. She looks at me and we share a short kiss as I then start to suck on her neck, and make my way down to her nipples, sucking and nibbling on them as she uses her right hand to push me further down.

She wrapped her legs around my head as she was climaxing, letting out a subtle moan. I feel her legs releasing as she topples over me, making us start kissing again. She put her hand down and started to stroke my cock and stimulate my tip in a circular motion.

Pov:Selene

I looked into Roman’s eyes and took in all of his desperate whines. I lay on my stomach between his legs and start to suck on his cock mostly focusing on the tip. His legs started to shake as he felt that he was going to cum. He started to take deep breaths as he pushed my head down and kept it there as he was cumming. I loved hearing the muffled like sound of his moans and looking at his abs contracting as he regulated his breathing

I lay next to him as he grabs the blanket to put it over us. I turn my back against him and put myself against his front as he wraps his hands around me.

“You did so good” he says into my ear as he gives me kisses all over my cheeks and neck.

“You did great too” I say in a soft and teasing voice.

*check out the rest of my work on wattpad :)

#fem reader #first time #miguel o'hara #booklr #fantasy #smut #smutty #spicy books #wattpad #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #angry sex #best friends #lovers #slow burn #one bed trope #kiss

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olivieblake · 1 year

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Hi Olivie!!! So, I have been severely slacking in sending you praise for all the works I’ve read of yours this year (very sorry life is chaotic this year truly). But, I am here finally to offer some words on everything I’ve read so far! I will try to keep it short (it’s nearly impossible for me, I'm a rambler, I am very sorry) but I’ll split it up into 2 parts so it’s not too insane hopefully. My goal is still to finish your blacklist this year and I’m close so fingers crossed I can do it!!

(Spoilers for Alpha graphic novels and Fairtytales of the Macabre included)

Alpha Graphic Novels:

These were so fun! I got really invested in the characters/the world really quick and just flew through them! Chmura’s art is STUNNING and it really helped me feel immersed in the world and I tabbed a lot of pages just because of the art alone it was beautiful. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ENDING OF VOL II: RISING THOUGH??? LIKE MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR TAU IS BACK???? I shipped them so hard in book 1 and was so upset when he “died” but WHAT OMG??? Fingers crossed that when things start to (maybe possibly idk) slow down in a few years you guys can finish it because I’m DYING to know what happens.

Atlas Six Re-Read:

I’ve already sent you a long ask a year ago about my love for this book so I will not make you bored and rehash everything. But, I still love them <3 (well everyone but Callum I’m sorry). So excited for Paradox this month! I’m actually going to one of your tour dates for it so I will see you then 🥺🥺🥺 (will try my hardest to talk to you but we shall see how nervous I get 😂) Although trying to decide if I should bring all your books with me to get singed or just a few so I can actually talk to you is SO hard. I gotta do some priority picks hahaha.

Fairytales of the Macabre:

Pins and Needles: Such a fun story to start off with. I love some vengeance and some obsession so I really enjoyed this story! I remember reading it and feeling like Masters and Charms lowkey gave me NicoLibby vibes (I really don’t think that’s intentional but I love nicolibby too much so I see them everywhere hahaha). The plot twist ending was insane too!!

The Animation Games: OLIVIE BESTIE A MURDER COMPETITION LOVE STORY WITH REINCARNATION TROPE WHO ARE YOU (in the best way) AND WHY DID I LOVE IT SO SO SO MUCH. I really never wanted to stop reading about Bran and Rhosyn’s strange beautiful love story. AND YOU BLESSED ME WITH A DANCE SCENE MY KRYPTONITE THANK YOU QUEEN. One of my absolute favorite lines was “He looked terribly handsome, she couldn't’ wait to see the light go out”.

Fates and Consquences: This one was really funny and some of the punishments had me laughing so hard hahahah (especially when his “mom” had to read him fifty shades of grey)

Sensual Tales for Carnal Pleasures: Although Animation Games was a close second this one was actually my favorite in the collection. I was just so entranced by this story and the takes on power, dress, freedom, and fear. I’m someone who loves longing and I just could FEEL the longing and chemistry between them. And the ending where she get a few previous sands around her neck so that she could keep her prince/her love and they could revisit their story sometimes made me emotional 🥺. It's Nightmare and Noctus’s world and I am just living in it!! This story really spoke to my soul so thank you for it.

Thank you for all these stories, I’ve been having a blast reading everything this year so far! Be back with the rest of the praise so far real soon! ❤️

-Amanda

I know I’m extremely behind in addressing these but I do love them very much! I love that you’re enjoying all your reads. I think two things of note:

- Alpha III is written, but I think increasingly unlikely to be completed due to little chmura’s workload. I think this year we’ll discuss what we plan to do, which may include releasing the script as is, or potentially with some hybrid options (including some sketches, maybe, but not fully in the graphic style, which chmura tells me is too laborious due to her unfamiliarity with illustration techniques at the time)

- I think it’s very likely that I will revisit the animation games in novel form. it would be a different storyline—a new story, not an expansion—but I feel like it’s a promising concept that I am more able to work with now. but anyway I’m glad you liked it and so happy you enjoyed carnal pleasures! that one is on the list for future little chmura collabs, as she is also a fan of that story

#filling the bucket #fairytales of the macabre #alpha

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hekateinhell · 2 years

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Hi! I would love to know which of your VC fics you're the most proud of, and can you tell us a little bit about the thought process behind it!!!! Like the DIRECTORS CUT if you will.

KACYYY omg hiiiiiiii 🖤

Oh man, here’s where I get to be more self-indulgent and self-absorbed than usual. Brace yourselves. Alright, let’s roll! For the sake of this ask, I'm going to eliminate AUs simply because they take the vampire out of VC lol.

I want to preface all this with a quote from AR I remember as a young teen (had to dig it up). She was reading from TVA, and she said that book, more than any other, was a metaphor for the vampire as, “A creature who thought he was damned and lost and still had a vision of the world as a beautiful place.” It just speaks to me, both as the person behind the screen writing and as something I try to keep in mind re: my characterizations at this point in the fic process.

Anne also got a lot of credit for being the one to humanize the vampire in the 70s and 80s which, I want to point out, isn’t the same thing as taking the monster out of the vampire and making them human—especially in the moral sense. Just another note re: my personal characterizations.

And now to fics! We get mature under the cut. :)

I couldn't decide between these two, so you get both! Lol or you can stop reading after one! In no particular order:

Shake The Disease (previously Bijoux Box)︱Armand/Daniel ︱Rated: E (more out of caution atm, but she'll soon earn it!)

This isn't even a proper fic lol this is my prompt collection. And I absolutely love it because it's my tiny tribute to the pairing that hooked its claws into my brain fifteen years ago and never really let go. It took about six months of writing fic to get to where I thought that maybe ?? I could ?? do them justice ??

My first time writing human!Daniel and Armand, outside of little flashback scenes in other fics. Given how little material we have to work with (consider the Devil's Minion chapter compared to the rest of the Chronicles), it takes Great Depression era creativity and dedication to get the absolute mileage out of it that this fandom has. And it's tricky, because while I want to nail the cadence and dynamic of canon, I have to acknowledge that my take on D/A will be different in its own way. How we all individually process and analyze lit is such a unique thing, no two takes can (or should be!) identical. So finding a balance is my goal.

Additionally, it's been really nice to actually give something back to the fandom through prompt requests (I didn't even specify Armand/Daniel when I posted the prompt list, but my sweet, wonderful, perfect moots know me ❤️).

Closer ︱Armand/Lestat︱Rated: E ︱this one required the Consensual Sex tag, lord help me.

My third (I think?) fic ever, and imo it kind of shows, but it's special to me because here’s where I started feeling comfortable enough to venture into darker themes. I’ve always enjoyed exploring power dynamics and play.

There's a good dose of D&S (dominance and submission) themes, and something I enjoy with this pairing (just like with human!Daniel/Armand) is the vampiric mindreading ability that can be used to confirm consent. Now, obviously, this is a fictional adaption of already fictional characters, but a reminder for anyone reading since we're on topic—if it's not consensual, it is not BDSM and it is not sex.

Armand and Lestat are just fun to work with because they’re very similar in a lot of ways (abusive childhoods/adolescences, this obsessiveness/neediness in their relationships, a tendency to deflect/unholy tempers, underdeveloped prefrontal cortexes, Mutual Marius Issues, etc.) and there's a lot of good and bad history. Sequel coming very soon, bless my heart.

My fingers have run out of breath, but I did want to share this I posted a while back, half-jokingly, but hopefully marginally helpful for anyone wanting to dip their toes into fic-writing (and if anyone wants an cleaner, updated version lmao I will do it): Hekate’s Tips & Tricks for Not Wanting to Capri Sun a Rat & Sob All Over Your Keyboard

Thank you so much for this Kacy, it was really fun and interesting (for me!) to actually take a beat and think about my own creative process. Rip.

#this counts as my writing for the day #fic #vc #the vampire chronicles #you ask and hekate answers

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fratboykate · 1 year

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remember when i had my huge surgery on may 26? i obviously had to stop taking all meds like days before as you do before any surgery but im an idiot and i never started taking any of my mood stabilizers after ever again and ive been off everything for like six months a few hours ago i randomly was like "what would happen if i take one of my pills?" and i popped one of the bipolar pills that you usually have to tirate up to a full dose to for monthsssss cuz i genuinely was like "ive taken this for years before my body is surely used to it whats the worse that could happen?" IM HIGH AS FUCKING SHIT thats what could happen omg fam amazinggggggggggggg lol

#bro.........I'm on cloud seventeen the fuck #I've NEVER known you could get high from bipolar meds before lmao #I'm sure if I take it for few days it'll even out #but right now it's funny as fuck #I'm TINGLY AS HELL #bro hehehe merry Christmas to me #rants

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juupajaa · 2 years

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Do you have any tips for coping with going back to school?

I haven't gone to one in almost two years and I guess I'm really worried about failing everything (it's private school, I'm not here because of my accomplishments) and about not making any friends (I haven't talked to new people in even longer). Plus, I'm probably older than everyone else (I'll be 21 in December, while most people start at 16-18)

I'm already struggling to eat, but I'm doing it because I know I need the fuel to at least try to succeed.

Even if you can't/don't want to help me, you're still awesome. Thank you.

Omg are you me?? Did I send this? This was literally me two months ago?? I'm gonna break this up a little.

Going back to school and failing: I worry about this all the time but so far I'm still mostly on top of everything. What I do to handle everything is to make myself clear memos about what are all the things I have to remember/do and set doable standards. I have had a horrible habit of expecting nothing but the best from myself (so much so that I'd burnout) and honestly, now I really love telling myself "whatever, it's good enough" when I'm doing homework or presentations or whatever. It really helps so much and I'd rather have an ok grade and good mental health than risk my wellbeing for the best grade. Also, at least here where I live, there's always a way to make your studies fit your pace, if you feel like you can't keep up with others. Courses can be moved around and spread wider so less things are on top of each other. I did this in high school all the time, I was having so much trouble that it was sinply impossible for me to do more than like two courses at a time, when others did six or more. One more, always tell your teachers if you didn't understand something!!!! I stay to talk to my teachers after class whenever there's something that I'm unclear about. Not only does it solve all your questions, but it shows your teacher that you're actually trying!

Not making friends: Don't worry too much about this. As long as you can be friendly/polite with everyone, you'll be fine. If friendship doesn't happen, it doesn't and that's fine, but at least try to feel like you belong in your group. If they make a class group chat, get in it as well and keep up with it. Try to stick with the group and do your part in keeping a good atmosphere and if there's someone who's friend material, then great, but if not, oh well. I am infamously bad at making friends so you'll have to go ask someone else how to make friends with people 😂

Age differences: honestly I was so worried about this too but turns out my class was pretty even divide between the usual late teens, and then us twenty/thirty-somethings. So don't lose hope yet, there migh tbe more people just like you who start the school at a later age. But even if there were only those 16-18 olds, you gotta remember how much power comes from being older in that age group. It's insane how much respect points you get just by being older. It might be hard to make friends with people who are younger than you but once again, making friends is not necessary, just staying friendly is enough so you feel like you belong and teenagers are pretty easy to stay friendly with, as they are generally very open and curious people. Just don't tell them they're stupid/immature/unfocused etc.(they're doing their best with the brain development they have) and they should be friendly enough.

Eating: The start is really important here, so when it's your first day and stuff, make sure you march yourself to the lunch with everyone else (remember, they're also going in there for the first time so everyone's a little confused) and stumble through it. If you miss out on these first lunches, it can get really hard to set it right later. In my class, we eat together and it's been such a relief honestly. Eating in a cafeteria is a lot easier when you can do it with someone else. And as you said, your chances of having a good school year plummet the moment you let those disordered thoughts pile up and start skipping out on food. It can be really tempting at times but you gotta take a step back and look at the big picture.

Ok, that was a lot of words but I'm so hyped for you tho!!!!! You're in the exact same spot I was in and I know its so so so nerve-wracking but try to lower the pressure down to as low as it can go. I hope you'll do okay🥺💟💖💕💗💞 tell me how it goes!! And ask again if you need more moral support!!

#answered

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icharchivist · 2 years

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I LOVE MISUMI SO MUCH AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A HUG. okay deep breaths now. uh. i went through captain sky's pirates! for the longest time i misread the play title and was CONVINCED they were like sky pirates like they were all in airships and stuff and honestly. i actually didnt realize they weren't in flying ships until i watched the play which was over halfway thru reading the event. um. clearly i was hoping too hard that i ignored everything else lol. but seriously... why else would the captain be named sky...

anyways gosh. its been a whole 3 months since clockwork heart! now that it's summer (fitting season for this troupe lol) im gonna go thru some more a3 though i think. let's see the actual event...

well first off the lil intro with part of the older summer troupe's play did make me go and read the first chapter of one piece haha. just for the Vibe. the paper airplane competition they had was so fun and i personally related w/ tenma prototyping his paper airplanes and having it absolutely suck because that's so me like taking something so extremely seriously that i forget that precision engineering isnt like actually feasible so all this theory is functionally useless and that i also don't know any aerodynamics theory in the first place. but also “don’t you know that paper airplanes fly farther if you put all your love into them!?” this is so funny i could never say that. pfft i just looked back to the notes i was taking and i was like "oh its paper airplanes because SKY pirates!!!!" i cannot read apostrophes.

i also was like "omg tsuzuru didn't faint immediately" only for everyone to also comment the same thing haha so i knew that wasn't gonna last... i mean i assumed he was trying not to faint bc he wanted to talk abt that original script paper thing but i also noticed that he faints very specifically after people compliment him on it so i like to think he was so relieved that his body gave out.

when they're discussing the play there's a part where yuki talks abt costuming and kazunari talks about like the design colors and the accents and stuff and i was just like !!! bc it's like! that's what sardine search started! with kazunari discussing design aspects with yuki... and now he feels comfortable enough to just talk about it! i loved how natural that was.

also it's been a while since i went through the og summer troupe bc i was sitting there like "wait did people not KNOW misumis grandpa did scripts?" like i didnt remember the script thing specifically but i remember he was an important mankai person for sure. bc its like.... well, why else was misumi living there huh.

i was very happy muku was the second lead in the play! although i am kind of sad tenma didnt play francoise lol... literally i was sitting up in my seat like. my fic idea of tenma saying he'd play a female role real??? but i guess the short jokes wouldn't have worked then.

and then for most of this event i felt Deeply Concerned for misumi and wanted to give him a hug. like it's all like it was a cute "tenma's scared of ghosts!" thing when they found him but also he was just living out there alone? he’s got great athletic skills but how long has he been living out there alone. I’m really asking how long. he's not that old how long was it. his grandfather died six years ago it how long has misumi been living alone how long has he been on the run. “gramps was the only one who didn’t abandon me. he was the one who made sure I wasn’t alone.” i am so worried about him. and misumi's whole thing with not being able to remember hakkaku's face Really got me! like that's just such a painful thing and like. idk. personally as someone who can really only visit some of my relatives very rarely i definitely get him.

anyways the treasure map! that was so cute. also i didn't remember how muku and kazunari's room looked,, it was so fresh feeling. oh wow! muku and kazunaris room looks so fresh and nice. tenma hiding a self help directionally challenged book is also so hilarious. yuki re: yuzo “how is that geezer always so free? does he really have a job?” how are YOU free, yuki??? you have TWO jobs (acting, costuming) AND ur a student!

when they couldn't find the last treasure box i immediately called it like "i bet what he liked most was being able to hear the troupe perform. bc those precious memories w/ his friends is what he treasures most" and i pretty much nailed it on that account i feel. i am so glad madoka is the one who showed up to meet muku and izumi bc he is actually a good kid which made me feel so relieved. the my master's mesmerized by mystery event made me cry because i felt so bad for homare and this made me emo but i didn't cry which is great. also when muku and izumi first try to talk to him i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better..." if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%.

still i got extremely sad when madoka was like "“so he’s still alive…” like izumi’s inner voice is like oh! he’s smiling hearing about him! guess he doesn't hate him after all :) meanwhile fucking sirens going off in my brain like madoka had literally no assurance on whether his brother was alive or dead. what the hell. anyways the “…if I always hung around such a weird person, I’d start acting like one, too.” i want to engage misumi's parents in mortal combat. that's such a real feeling tho, i definitely remember growing up like madoka with regards to parents being like don't be like your older sibling AT ALL (though not to such a serious extent as him). even the way he immediately picks out st.flora by saying that's where smart people go...

after they got the final treasure box back i finally watched the play lol... moments that stood out to me. misumi's outfit is GREAT although i wish there were triangles on it. i think it is SO funny that blackbeard is not only a woman but their name is francoise. that's so funny to me. like they're not even elegant enough for that name when they're not disguised. also henry being like "ya u guys were too miserable to steal from so I hung around" is so funny to me. and misumi is like. not even that tall in comparison to muku and yuki which is so funny to me. so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow. also jonny gives massive unpaid intern vibes to me. also with the whole triangle island thing and the treasure box... are we sure tsuzuru is not like a precog or something because there's similarities to real life and there's this which is something else.

and the paper airplane coming back at the end was so cute! though... misumi's father works for mr.kamikizaka... that's the god troupe guy! god. also im squinting at when misumis dad is like do paperwork and im like. is this guy... profiting off of his kid's script labor? or is he perhaps repurposing hakkaku's scripts... evil. madoka please be safe.

some other minor notes i did NOT miss yuzo going "back then, he was still…” um sir. have something to say abt izumi's dad perhaps? i'm realllly curious as to why the whole mankai troupe went no contact. the ending with the fireworks was so cute! the whole summer triangle thing, too, like god. they are all just Best Friends and that is their treasure! it's so sweet. also the way summer troupe makes fun of tenma like very nicely bc tenma is just like so. bluffs all the time but is also stupid sweet to the troupe is like... idk. i love it when tenma and yuki bicker it just feels like something that grounds the team it feels so natural yknow? it's so nice. also i listened to the song for this play and the inst is so fun!

that's about all the thoughts i had... just three events between me and nocturnality now :)

MISUMI EVENT LET'S GOOOOO

it's already long so, my own reply/thoughts under the cut :3c

Misumi deserves all the hugs in the world and that's final! god. AND HELP THE MISREAD. To be fair there IS a pirates in spaceships play way further down the line (tho it was never covered by the EN server) so it's not THAT far fetched. I feel like "Captain Sky" works for Misumi in the sense of both, freeing himself from his family in a way that can be aiming for the sky, and in general the fact Misumi finds a lot of solace in the nightsky especially. We see it in this event with his love for the summer sky and especially the summer triangle, which, for him, equals his ultimate happiness, but also how he has a fascination with the moon as we see from his crossbackstage with Tsumugi. Angstily, i could imagine that at a time his loneliness was at its peak he found himself some happiness in looking at the Sky, so eventually this name can be an extention of that: of this freedom but also of this sense of belonging that he found there. But if any of that is to take for granted it also means we need to start considering that Tsuzuru is a witch for figuring it out. That's a thing.

BUT YAY welcome back, it's so good to see you again :3c it's always a pleasure to see you go through a3!

And omg for the vibe that's pretty sweet. And YEAH the paper airplane is so cute!! Also a call back to the fact a competition also happens in Misumi's base SR's backstage i think? and just, man the way it comes back to haunt us. But RIP on you relating to Tenma in that moment this is so funny. Tho it's really honestly pretty sweet especially to see Tenma being so… childish. I've rewatched the anime recently and by god, Tenma gets to be so silly and participate in so many childish things as time goes by that i forgot just how much he had to play the adult for his job and how he denied himself some happiness like this unless it was for acting in movies. So everytime he gets to have silly moment like that my heart melt. Sweet kid… (also if you want to suffer i have to let you know that the Stageplay of a3 has Misumi and Madoka have a duet about paperplanes: part 1 & part 2 )

HELP THE TSUZURU THING. Tsuzuru fainting best running gag, i'm sorry Tsuzuru for your suffering but we must all admit it's endlessly funny. Also i love that you pick up he collapses as soon as he's complimented. The relieve from the stress that was basically holding him awake for that time help.

AND YEAH GOD THE YUKI AND KAZUNARI THING. honestly this is what solds me so much on those events and that i can't imagine skipping directly to act 2's main story: not only the characters grow a LOT during those events but you get to also see the direct results of how it affected them. From Sardine Search we know Yuki was doing it all on his own and was overwhelming himself and Kazunari didn't feel like he could share his design ideas with Yuki, and in the end the two of them realizing they can lift each other up by being a support on that regard, and the fact that Yuki especially opened enough to let Kazunari have a place in his creative process, that the closed off kid opened up and that the kid who wouldn't know how to assert himself now find his place proposing ideas to Yuki and seeing the two of them discussing on tandem, and being so excited and building each other up… god!!! this is so good. I love to see them heal and grow after each event and keeping the lessons they learnt up. It's so touching.

And omg yeah i think Misumi mentions gramps but like, in a whisper? And even Izumi isn't sure she caught it. So the rest of Summer doesn't specifically get it, i think? i'm not sure, else Izumi heard it. I know the anime did away with it with just, not having Misumi bring it up at all DLKFJDLF but yeah! people didn't know! but yeah like, this is also the obvious thing as to why Misumi felt he could come living here help.

Muku being second lead was SOOO good, i'm so happy with seeing him becoming more assertive and confident on that regard. He did shine so well after all of this! And DLKFJLDKFJ Be the change you want to see in the world, go write this fic! Tenma deserves it. But yeah alas they needed to mock Yuki on his heigh, typical. (Tsuzuru revenge fantasy of making fun of Yuki's heigh as payback for the Villager C thing)

And god yeah… yeah. Misumi's whole story is seriously so heartbreaking. I think a3 works the line between comedy and tragic very well in a way, where Misumi's introduction was really funny because it was burrying the leads of the implications of how tragic it is that he's there thanks to how silly the situation was, and then, when finally it addresses the tragic it's like oh. right. that was here from the start i forgot. For how long Misumi had run off, he does mention that he's been here since "before there started to be noise in the theater", which means he has been here for at least before Spring. Initially i would have thought it meant that he must have been here for a couple of months before Spring started to act there, if he can take this event as a temporal mark. But then thinking about it, Matsukawa mentions that the room has been haunted for a very long time and that's why he never came in and it makes me wonder if Misumi's marks aren't skewed by loneliness to the point it means nothing: could have been years since he's there. Which makes more sense as to why Madoka thought he was dead. If Misumi had been gone only for a year or so, i feel like this wouldn't have been Madoka's first thought, so……….. Personally i'm inclined to think he perhaps stayed one or two years after his gramps death with his family and the more lonely he felt + the grief, the more he felt he couldn't stand it, and eventually he came back to the one place that could make him think of the only person who made him feel like home: Mankai. This was my Detective Work™ of "trying to read between the lines but especially between my tears" But yeah man him forgetting Hakkaku was so sad 😭 poor kid.

The tresure map part of the event was adorable! I love the tidbits into seeing the other summer people being silly in that search, it was adorable. AND HELP at roasting Yuki there :sob:

And waaa you know their heart so well 😭 And oh boy Madoka. he's such a good kid…. I'm glad at least you kept yourself emotionally stable! this is a plus because this event personally just murders me in more way than one. ALSO HELP "i think it's so funny that muku's like "maybe tenma and yuki would have done better…" if u let tenma and yuki do it they would have gotten arrested 100%. " this killed me on the spot. you're 100% correct.

And GOD yeah. yeah Madoka's reaction raises a hundred of red flags about his parents this is terrible. AND YEAH let's engage Misumi's parents in mortal combat this is so fucked up. Like the implications of both how they isolated Misumi, making him know he was too weird for them, isolating Madoka from him, Madoka being too young probably to process it other than "i don't want to shame my parents so i'll do what they tell me even if i don't understand why" and only realizing how fucked up it was once Misumi was gone, but even so, the fact he thought he was dead probably means his parents are either telling him so, or that they just never bring him up at all and so he jumped to conclusion. It's honestly really fucked up.

As for relating to the situation, oof. I feel you for that. And yeah little tidbits about me but my elder sibling ran away from home when i was 6yo never to be seen again and yeah, so, this event did a particular amount of psych dmg to me in a way i could never anticipate. I related a lot to Madoka's situation on that regard, and perhaps project some of the uglier aspects of what a situation like this means on him, but by god. This is so cruel. And like, out of this experience, Madoka was having the "don't be like your brother" when he was still here which in itself was damaging, but with on top of that him running away it adds another level of pressure on Madoka of "not abandonning the family like my brother did". There's this type of pain that, even if you manage to process that it was for the best that they left because you eventually process how badly the family has treated him (and perhaps even you in the process), the absolute pain of the abandon, of being left behind, and especially feeling responsible on "if i wasn't a silly kid who pushed him away perhaps he would still be here, but also, wouldn't it have been more pain for him?" and therefore not wanting to put your family through that again, and just. Listen. Madoka is a mess. I'm claiming Madoka i'm giving him so many psych problem, my city now. So even if his family would be better off without Misumi, the idea, the social stigma, of the younger doing the same, would in itself be either a present or a subtextual pressure on Madoka and god this kid must be going through it. And on top of that "even if he manages to process it was for the best" is something he can only do NOW that he knows Misumi is alive. Honestly Madoka's relief made him take it in in such a mature and graceful way for such a kid. takes deep breath sorry this event touched on something extremely primeval in me and it makes me take it in all of the complex ways, and honestly it baffles me how well a3 did capture this experience. Because goodness it's an insane one, and for a minor character (at this point at least) i feel like they did such a good job to portray some nuances on that regard. And back to Misumi it's also just a nightmare for him as well, he had to sacrifice his little brother to be able to move on and be happier, but also with the belief his brother, whom he loves dearly, hated him. It must be so painful when he gets to think about it and it's just. god. so much.

aNYWAY, the play now. It's sUCH a fun play i love it so much. but yeah mood Misumi deserved more triangles. AND HELP THE COMMENTS ON FRANCOISE. Very true, very true. i LOVE Henry in this play, he's so so funny and honestly seeing pure and cute Muku play "Bloody Henry" was incredible. I love how we can still buy him. Innocent face to hide his bad intentions yeah? so good. Muku ever since he joined Mankai like "i want to play a prince, but if i can't i will be the biggest thug of the play", godspeed baby. "so i like to imagine when sky is like "the smaller they are, the more famous they be" he like solemnly takes off his platform boots like it'll gain him instant fame somehow." THIS IS SO FUNNY this is the only way i'll picture it now. And god right, such a good play. AND YEA LEGIT TSUZURU IT'S BECOMING TERRIFYING. Tsuzuru doesn't write, he gets possessed by the spirit of whoever is going to be the lead of that play and suddenly he writes something that will force you to face an intense buried trauma whenever you want it or not. Fucking terrifying.

The ending was really adorable as it is. And yeah oof the fact the father works for the God Troupe really makes it so sour. Even if Misumi and Madoka manages to patch things up they still have this thing separating them… how unfair. And yeah i read it that way too of, the father profiting of his son's writing. Whenever Madoka writes from Hakkaku's plays or are 100% original, he's clearly being exploited lol. but hey "don't disappoint me like your brother" must be a hell of a motivation. Dipshit. I will fight their parents myself. and Adopt Madoka. That's the least i can do.

And god yeah. yuzo still so mysterious… share your secret with us. Please. we need to know. I really want to know toooo. And YEAH THE FIREWORKS WERE SO CUTE. I'm so glad it's becoming a tradition for them, it's honestly so so adorable. And the summer triangle really pushed Misumi's obsession with triangle from cute to so meaningful i'm bawling everytime he talks about them. IT's such a sweet scene. And the fact he finds all of his friends to be his treasure is just. bites fist. it's adorable i'm so happy for them. And yeah god, re what i was saying at the begining i love to see Tenma just being silly and having a good time. I remember some Itaru's minichat where he also brings it up (try this link) and it's so soft to me. and yeah god mood, i love their bickering, i love this troupe, it has such a nice dynamic and vibe and you can feel them just. being much happier everytime they get to be together. It's so sweet. I love them. And the song for this play is SOOOO GOOd, Misumi's voice actor went off with it it's so pretty. Also i've seen it live and by god. He goes ham it's 😳 okay!

Thank you once again for sharing all of your thoughts, it's really always a pleasure to read them ❤❤❤❤ The a3 experience will always bring tears to my eyes truly.

And owo Nocturnality soon!!!! The very normal event that i can be soooo normal about. Normality. LEt's GOO

OH and the next 3 have some of my fav moments but also i feel like i've been saying this about every a3 events DLKJFDKLFJDFLK. At least the good thing with a3's event is that even when it's not about your fav you will always find something worth your emotions. So great. Can't wait to see your thoughts on what follows :3c

Thank you once again for sharing it all ❤❤❤ have a nice day!

#ichareply #ichafantalks a3 #aranarumei #ichablogging a3

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