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venivivividi · 3 years

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headcAnon ✨ here! How great were the Rosa and Michael moments?! And Jones is Michael’s dad! He and Alex should start a support group. I wanted to ask if you have any headcanons about Michael and Alex and fatherhood. If you think they ever thought about it and what. What kind of parents they would be. If you think they will have kids in the future. Adoption or using a surrogate or some other alien option. Maybe dog or cat children also or instead.

I know, right?? They definitely speak the same language even when they disagree with each other. Also, I have a feeling that Michael has taken to send Rosa every picture of a dolphin he finds online with the same commentary: "look. it's you ahaha" I love them.

Oooh, fatherhood, you say? What a wonderful topic to tackle after the latest episodes...

I have to say, I tend to separate what I think realistically would happen, informed by canon, vs what I'd like for them to be in my headcanons, and to this day we canonically know:

Michael has thought about fatherhood: this is something he wants in his future and has dreamed about in the past; we learn this in two separate occasions, in 2x10 when he offers to father Isobel's child and in 2x11 when he tells Flint he wanted to start a dad band.

We have zero insight on Alex's thoughts on matter: we know his childhood was not a happy one, his relationship with his father is extremely negative and his entire family's dynamic is skewed, unhealty. That could reasonably push him towards two completely opposite directions: either he wants nothing to do with kids and a "traditional" family, deemes himself unsuited for fatherhood or he wants to somehow "avenge" his lost childhood and create the happiest family in the world, proving to himself that he can and will be a good father. Either could be and anything in between, honestly. (I'm not gonna delve into that but let's also remember that Alex grew up in a reality where gay marriage was not legal until he was like 23 and adoption was a pipe dream even after that, so that has clearly influenced his mindset even without considering the military of it all)

But for the sake of the HCs, I choose to believe that Alex is at least open to the idea of having children:

I dont think this is something they would go for very early in their relationship. They've had such a turmoiled past, they overcame every possible obstacle so that once everything settles down, they just enjoy each other's company for a while. They still can't believe they just get to be together without jumping through hoops.

As far as pets are concerned, you heard it from Mimi first: a beagle is written in Alex's future. But first, he tries to convince Michael to get a reptile. You remember Willow, his pet lizard? She was so cuute, Micheal, it's basically zero maintenance (completely false, but hes' trying) and it's so cool to have a lizard, c'mon.

Michael, as we know, is incapable of looking Alex in the eyes and deny him something. But it takes one google search for him to veto Project Lizard. There is no way he's allowing a lizard in his house after learning what they need to be fed. Also, lizards escape their enclosure. No thank you, the same night he learned too much about it he had a nightmare about waking up to a lizard stuck to his curls. Always protect the curls. No lizard.

Alex pouts. A lot.

Once the beagle settles in the truck ready to go to his forever home, Alex stops pouting. (and Michael starts because Alex is now cuddling the beagle at night. woe is Michael.)

As this thing usually go, Michael is instead adopted by a kitten, one of those impossibly small black balls of fur. Their first encounter at the junkyard went disturbingly High Noon, but after they claimed each other, the kitten is now stealing Michael's body heat and Michael is stealing all the cuddles Alex is so rudely denying him in favor of *scoffs* The Beagle.

Speaking of Sanders' Auto, once Rosa(...linda) starts picking up stray kids and unexplicably bringing them to Michael, it comes to be a place where kids who need to escape orbit around: with Sander's blessing, Michael always finds some easy work for them to do and earn some money, and when a couple of them seem truly interested, a question here and a question there quickly turns into a Michael Guerin lesson on mechanics. Those of them who are not interested, are free to just hang around as long as they dont wreak havoc or make a mess out of the place.

The thing is, Michael is completely unaware of the irony in all of that. Sanders is not, and he just hangs around smirking to himself about how much of a grumpy old man Michael is shaping up to be and laughing at history repeating itself and things like that.

It takes Isobel talking about them as Michael's junkyard children for Alex to bring the topic up. I mean, Michael is basically already doing it, and if they start fostering teens they could give some of them the happy childhood Michael never got. After that, not every kid who passes through the junkyard stays with them but some of them do, and some of them keep hanging around even after aging out of the system.

There is a panicked moment after their first foster kid gives him the silent treatment, where Alex runs to Greg for guidance; Greg has to politely remind him that he's an elementary school teacher, and his 16 years old kid might not react with the same energy to glitter glue and a happy song, so he has to figure out a different way.

Eventually they start to foster smaller kids too, and of course sometimes it's sad when they have to go and the house feels empty, but they always try and remember: it's not for them, it's for the kids. And during those nights The Beagle™ needs to find cuddles in the now domesticated ball of fur, because Michael is in very big need of a snuggle that Alex is more than happy to provide. It's how he recharges too, after all.

As far as their parenting style, Michael's a lost cause: he is incapable of not spoiling the kids because, why deny them the little joys if there's no harm in it, right? They deserve them. But he also realize the kids need structure, and he is pretty no-nonsense about it, also because, on the other hand, Alex is very much afraid of being the strict parent. It's a new chapter with every new kid, as every instance of parenting is, but the baseline of a good home is always there: love and safety.

I also can't seem to decide whether Michael would be the kind of hip parent who knows all about the youngsters culture, uses the correct terms and shares the right memes or the most embarassing dad who watches instagram reels about tiktoks and is always six months behind the last big thing. But I feel there's no in between.

Alex, sadly, despite being a cyber intelligence specialist, still mourns last.fm and that tells you everything you need to know.

Somewhere down the line, once they've collectively bought enough land to build a communeplace for all of them to live together while still maintaining a semblance of privacy (Isobel's broad interpretation of boundaries has not changed, sadly), the possibility of a full Oasian becomes a reality. The thing is, this is not just Isobel's baby, this is the podsquad baby, the triad's baby. Isobel and Michael might be the biological donors, but this is their baby.

As you can easily imagine, this is the most spoiled baby ever, because each one of them expect the others to be stern, when in reality, the baby has them all wrapped around their little fingers, and this is without powers, yet.

The first time Alex holds the baby he is completely overwhelmed: they seem so tiny, so fragile, but when he gently strokes his thumb on their forehead, they open their big, staring eyes, and everything else disappears.

Michael, you ask? Ooh, Michael is gloating. He never thought he could have half a thing in his life and now he has everything. He also self-appoints himself as the defender of the baby's curls: that entails slapping the hand of everyone that tries to play with a lock of hair to make it bounce. Do you know how annoying that can be? Leave the baby alone.

Of course, Michael is also a little shit and as soon as the baby starts talking and figuring out a way of calling them all, he tries to make them refer to Max as grandpa, to the utter hilarity of Liz and the total indignation of Max. He has yet to succeed, but the baby's still young, so Only time will tell.

#thank you again for your patience!!#headcAnon ✨#Roswell New Mexico #malex #Michael Guerin #Alex Manes #rnm hc*#*#rnm*

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cellard0ors · 3 years

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Fic: Movement (2/?)

Still dedicated to the wonderful @peachworthy. you read part one than you know - GMM Rhink AU - College Student Link/Pornstar Rhett AU

“Got it right again, man! You’re going to ace this test!” Rhett crows as he tosses down another notecard and Link pumps his arms in triumph. The two of them are settled in the kitchen, piles of books and notecards spread around as well as few bottles of beers and some bowls of chips.

Link picks up one chip and pops it into his mouth, grinning at his roommate fondly, “Well, couldn’t’ve done it without you, pal. You are, without a doubt, the best study buddy I’ve ever had.”

“Aw shucks, gonna make me blush,” Rhett laughs even though it’s Link who feels his cheeks actually grow warm, his friend’s laughter a common cause of the occurrence.

They’ve been living together for over a month now and it’s been beyond amazing. Link would’ve never guessed a guy like Rhett and a guy like him would work so well together.

It’s like they’re the world’s weirdest, most convoluted puzzle yet all the pieces click together to form a full picture that is nothing short of a masterpiece. True, there’s a lot about Rhett Link doesn’t know yet (and gosh is there a lot he wants to know) but their friendship is running smoothly.

Well, smoothly save for the massive crush Link has on the guy, albeit he’s doing his damned best to squash it. Yes, Rhett’s attractive and yes, he’s the first guy Link’s ever met that he’s felt a real zing for, but the fact of the matter is – Link would much rather have him as a friend and roommate than lose him as a…well, Link’s not sure if he’d lose him, but the mere possibility keeps Link’s lips sealed.

Besides, it’s okay to crush on someone and never act on it. People do it all the time. Not to mention that it’s a bit…odd to crush on someone in Rhett’s line of work. Isn’t it?

Link can’t think of too many people who will admit to crushing on an adult film star. Regular, mainstream film stars, sure – but adult film stars?

Yeah…

Although, to be frank, Link’s sure there are some that do. And, hopefully, some of them are not the creepy internet troll-y kind of people, but genuine salt of the earth folks like himself. Because, okay, he is crushing on one so…

Rhett is toying with the cards, maybe looking for the next question to quiz Link on when he asks idly, “Y’know, Link – I gotta say, I admire your stamina.”

That remarks makes Link choke on the drink he’s just been consuming, a cough clearing it up some as he croaks, “I’m-I’m sorry?”

Rhett hums noncommittally, as if not noticing the gaffe, “You’ve had yet to grill me about my job. Normally, once folks hear about it, that’s all they want to talk about.”

“Oh,” Link breathes out loosely, “Well, ah-? It-? It just…seemed rude to-to ask…”

“Been over a month living with me now. You telling me you ain’t interested?”

“I didn’t say that!” Link quips back much quicker than he would like, but Rhett just gives him the most perfect smile. All sincere and warm beneath his beard and remember, Link, you’re doing you’re best not to crush on him!

Rhett is still toying with the cards, eyelashes downcast, the very visual definition of shy as he murmurs, “Just sayin’…I don’t mind if you wanna ask some stuff.”

Link’s eyebrows rise in such a way as to damn near bump his glasses off, “Y-You sure?”

Rhett draws in a deep inhale and then sits the cards down. He crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, looking quite serious even despite the casual red flannel and jeans, as if this was more of an interview (or perhaps an interrogation?) than anything else, “Shoot.”

The a million and one questions that Link has kept at bay about Rhett’s job and more personal life threaten to cave his skull in as they crash about in his mind. However, he has to go with the obvious, “Know this’ll be predictable, but…why?”

Rhett just bobs his head in an understanding nod even as Link pushes on, “Why and how?”

Rhett sucks on his teeth before picking up his own beer and taking a fortifying sip before continuing, “The two are kinda interconnected to be honest. Had a fallin’ out with my family. Think I mentioned it in passin’ to you once. But, to clarify; they weren’t too happy with my chosen living destination nor with the fact that I’d come to terms with the notion that I’m attracted to both the ladies and the gents.”

Link’s mind immediately (and joyously) clings to ‘the gents’ remark, bookmarking it for future reference, even as Rhett continues his tale, “You grew up where we did. So you get it.”

Link does. And then, to nail the point home, Rhett adds, “Probably get it a lot more than others. If my…instincts are to be believed.”

Shit.

SHIT.

Link’s whole body immediately bursts into flame, the tips of his ears so hot he’s sure they’re glowing bright red.

Rhett knows I’m gay. He knows. I thought having a radar for that kind of thing was bullhonkey, but he knows and oh, lord, oh lord – do I give off some sorta vibe? I know that girl in my screenwriting class, Stevie, she teased me about being an A-Level twink or something, but I didn’t think-!

Rhett’s laughter carves right through Link’s insecurities, “Take a breath, brother! Look like you’re about to pop!”

Link does and Rhett just shakes his head, still grinning, “Point being – I was pretty much a babe in the woods when I came to LA. Not two nickels to my name, so I took whatever gigs I could get. Managed to snag a few commercials and things of that nature, but you know the drill. Jobs are hard to come by. And a guy of my height?”

He blows out a big breath and tosses all of those luxurious curls about with a rueful head shake, “Yeah, most people fingered me for a baller, so – again – jobs were hard to come by. But then, wouldn’t you know it? A friend of a friend of a contact told me about this part they thought I’d be perfect for.”

Another deep barrel chested chuckle emerges as he reminiscences, “Mighta been nice of ‘em to let me know it was actually a part of me they thought would be perfect.”

Do not zero in on his crotch! Do NOT zero in on his crotch! Charles Lincoln Neal the Third DO NOT-!

Link keeps his eyes so steadfastly forward he probably looks like some bug eyed zombie. If Rhett notices, he doesn't comment, “Anyway, when I found out what the role was, I had planned to politely decline but, y’know, the money they offered…”

There’s an easy shrug and this Link can look at. He looks at Rhett, who looks a bit sheepish as he scratches at one side of his beard, “I mean, again, you grew up where I did. So, you know how the whole ‘wait until marriage’ thing was drilled into your head, but I figured it wasn’t like anybody would know. My family’d cut me off, my friends were few and far in between, and the people on set…”

Now he looks a bit happier and Link can’t help but smile along with him, “The people on set were all right. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the kind of stories people tend to spin – the exploitation, the drug abuse, other questionable stuff…place I was at wasn’t like that. I mean, maybe I just lucked out or something, but it was…”

Another shrug and he goes for his beer again. Link figures this is as good a time as any to get in another question, “So, you did that and then you…? Just kept going?”

Rhett nods as he drinks, the bottle leaving his mouth with an obscene pop that Link is going to do his best to forget all about right now and certainly not recall at any point in the future (and most certainly NOT when he’s jacking off later), “Yeah, I did the one and the director really liked me. He pull me aside and told me about this company he was trying to set up with a couple of buddies of his. They wanted to go in a classier direction – know how funny that sounds, but he was serious.”

“So, what? No, like, blockbuster porno knock offs? Like ‘Sex in The City and ON the City’ or ‘Arma-get-it-on’?”

“Think you stole that last one from an episode of CSI.”

“I did, doesn’t change the question.”

They’re both smiling like a couple of fools, but the mood is good and the atmosphere light as Rhett sighs, “Yeah, nothing like that. I’ve actually worked with a few female directors, shot some things with great budgets, nice lighting, good costumes…”

“Oooo, costumes,” Link teases in the silliest voice and Rhett swats out at him. Link avoids the hit even as Rhett rolls his eyes, “I’m serious, dude. Some of the things that department pumps out looks better than anything you’d see in Hollywood.”

“Hmm, some kinda wood,” Link snickers and this time Rhett’s swat makes impact, brushing Link’s shoulder and Link would be embarrassed by the giggle he lets out, if it weren’t for the way Rhett’s nose is all scrunched up, making him look beyond adorable, “You’re sucha brat!”

Link sticks out his tongue and Rhett just laughs. They turn their attention to the drinks and chips for awhile before Link circles around to another question, “You like it then?”

“It’s a living,” Rhett confirms, not really answering one way or another, “Like I said – make great money, work with some really nice people.”

“Uh,” Link scratches behind one ear, “Hate to ask, but, um…clean people?”

Rhett doesn’t seem offended, “You bet. Have to be. Another reason I’ve done this as long as I have. Money's great, but the safety is even better. I’m currently under contract with that same company I told you about – the one that director brought me under. On top of wanting to,” he air quotes his next words, “be classier’-”

He drops the quotes, “They wanted to provide an excellent work environment. Heck, me and the other actors and actresses probably have a cleaner bill of health than the entire state. Can’t shoot scene one until you’ve got the A-Okay.”

“Huh,” Link absorbs that with some surprise, but then, he supposes it really shouldn’t be. The adult film industry is a big lumbering beast right alongside it’s more recognized counterpart. No reason one shouldn’t be as cautious as the other. If anything, one has more right to be cautious.

Thinking on this, Link suddenly feels an odd pang. It’s a shame in one way that’s one viewed as more reckless than the other, more questionable. But, when viewed through a mostly puritan lens…

Not wanting to get too philosophical, Link switches gears, “You been in a lot of films?”

“My fair share.”

Another dodge, but Link will let him have it. However, he can practically feel devil horns rise as he asks with a naughty gleam to his eye, “Win any awards?”

Rhett’s practically preening, “Several.”

“Really?” Link asks with some surprise, but Rhett suddenly looks quite naughty himself. Naughty and…a bit too hot for Link’s liking as the heat that always seems to surround him when he’s near Rhett rises and woo boy, he’s really failing at this squashing-the-crush thing.

“If you’re a good boy, maybe I’ll show you one of my trophies some time…”

Everything in Link melts into a puddle and he’s not sure what expression he’s wearing, but it’s one that makes Rhett’s whole face light up, “…or maybe, just maybe, I’ll show you a little somethin’ else…”

If it’s possible for a melted puddle to also explode, then Link’s just done it. Rhett bursts into guffaws as he reaches forward and, very smoothly, pushes Link’s jaw up because Link’s jaw? It dropped. He didn’t even feel it drop.

And then, to just add more fuel to the fire, Rhett rubs the pad of his thumb along the bottom of Link’s chin, right below his lip, “Damn, son…you’re just too much for words.”

“I…”

That’s it.

That’s all that Link can offer.

Just one sound, one vowel.

Silent and stunned and Rhett draws back, looking like the cat that ate the canary as he lets him go and rises up from his seat, “Think you need a moment. I’ll be back in a bit.”

And – just like that – Rhett saunters out of the room.

#rhink #randl #my writing #peachworthy #oh my sweet peach

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hubz88 · 3 years

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So Aaron asking Ben to move in and this plot about his dad seemed to be more about the parallels with Liv’s drinking problem then any real character development for Ben or their relationship. Surprise, surprise.

I had a few people jumping on a twitter response of mine last week, don't really do twitter much and wasn’t hoping to invite a conversation from Ben fans, Ben/Aaron fans, but anyway I was completely baffled, fascinated and mad and had to get my thoughts down.

Firstly my comment was about how weird I find it that on top of having this abusive father his whole life, Ben was so happy to forgive and forget the bullying that Aaron put him through, that made him want to die, within a day and a vague apology wanted to date him and it was brushed under the carpet. I got two different responses from the fans that I want to look into because it has been on my mind all weekend.

1) About 2 or 3 people commented that I have clearly missed some episodes

This is hilarious to me, not only have I never missed an episode, but I have over analysed all Ben and Aaron scenes a thousand times over, without ever watching back I remember a great detail of what was said, weird dialog, acting/directing choices and facial expressions.

But mainly on this I am just hugely confused by what scenes they actually think I missed? There have been very little actually story about this bullying backstory full stop, no real content and no real resolution or explanation as to how come Ben got over it so quickly. Given that I was referring to the first week or so on screen, it literally went like this. Ben having no words in the Hop whilst Liv was acting like Aaron goes their all the time to see Ben at the Hop. Ben orders a jacket potato and chilli whilst Chas awkwardly tries to suggest that Aaron gets back on the dating horse, hint hint hint to this random man who we know nothing about at this point and if he is even gay/into men. Ben with Al and Kayak’s getting introduced to Aaron. Aaron going back on his own to ask about Kayak lesson when Ben flips with the you don’t remember me, now I can hit back and you made me want to die etc. Ben’s car breaks down, Aaron says he can help, gets his number to text about parts or something. They go for a drink as you do with your school bully. Aaron explains vaguely about having a tough up-bringing and struggling with sexuality. Ben has no reason to really trust him at this point or take his word for it but decides to awkwardly start trying to flirt and talks about the bullying he suffered as “reminiscing”, (weirdest line to use in context, I certainly don't reminisce about the kid that used to call me names at school let alone actually kick my head in on the daily). Then Aaron goes to the Hop and asks about a lesson, clear indication of a date. This was all over a few days episodes, but one actual date time-wise. That is is, whole story wrapped up. No Ben talking to other people in the village that tell him to give Aaron a chance, no forced to work together, share friendship group, locked in a room together or whatever contrived plots soaps like to use to get people talking. No longer story of getting to know each other, Aaron proving he had changed. Just one conversation and it was all fine. Like what was the point?

Then from that point on we got a couple of episodes were Ben turned up out of nowhere, no build up, no aftermath, again no discussions with other people in the village, friends, co-workers, so we never saw his motivations or reasons for wanting to be with Aaron he just showed up apologizing for their disaster pint or Aaron apologised. So much so that Ben was only in 11 episodes from September to January and many of those were like one or a couple of scenes, which is so poor when you compare to the other new characters introduction, interactions and multiple mini stories that played out.

The 4.5 months Ben was off screen was also used as a reason some how to explain how the lack of actual relationship discussion makes sense, like they talked again when he came back, (about his sister being an alcoholic), as if that suddenly makes it ok that they haven’t address the bullying or that argument again before Ben became a literal cardboard cut out glued to Aaron’s side.

2) There was one person who replied saying it wasn’t a date at that point with the first lot of pints, which those terrible pint plots arguably were meant to be a date, but in any case they were still planning to meet up just the two of them, Ben kicked off after Ben didn’t turn up after divorce papers and Kayak lesson etc. So it still doesn’t make sense to want to get so pally with your ex bully. Through-out this point Aaron was pretty hot and cold and damn right rude at times. Yet Ben kept following him around and showing up wanting to talk and try again and they suggest a pint several times. One person did not like my response about him following Aaron around as if it was Aaron following Ben around because Aaron was the one that suggested the Kayak lesson to begin with. But this person clearly hadn’t seen the scenes where Ben kept showing up out of nowhere wanting to get in Aaron’s orbit, Aaron largely seemed uninterested and said about them being friends beginning of December, (I think), which was never shown on screen and apparently didn’t happen according to January scenes at Aaron’s birthday when Ben said the friendship thing hadn’t worked out.

3) There were the comments of the conversations on his return in May and the scene in the Hop discussing the bullying over some table football, you know do completely casual. Again ignoring this does not change the facts of how this story started and how poorly it was executed regarding the bullying. Also in my opinion that chat was way little too late, they were official at this point and had only really been seen discussing Liv, her drinking problem, Liv being missing, Ben’s alcoholic dad and oh the mystery guy Ben put in a taxi. Therefore no actual relationship or feelings chat anyway at this point, other than I’m miserable and we apparently have a laugh despite the fact we haven’t seen that onscreen. So why would I expect any in depth relationship story. Even the Aaron Ben fan said they “try” with the Hop chat. And like fair play, if you are happy with such shit a story and effort, then go live your best life hun. But wow really, what are you liking here?

In actual fact Aaron still seemed quite offish on many occasions with Ben and snappy upon Ben’s initial return once again and yeah he was worried about his sister but why would Ben want to be around this permeantly, with someone he barely knows still, and would have possibly been triggering for him but yet he is promising to support him no matter what, you aren’t on your own Aaron, you have me, we and us etc. .

On the point of proving Aaron had changed the show has made a point this last year of many characters talking about how aggressive Aaron is, Liv about how he pushed her instead of Luke that whole time and calling him a control freak and lots of nasty names. Mandy calling him a bully when Paul first died before she found out the truth. Luke calling him a violent thug or something whilst Ben was there and talking about bad boys and stuff moments later, Ethan and Charles talking about him being scary and the same from Vinny at as well. On top of the Pollard nonsense plot with the brooch and Ben was well aware that he was up for a bulgary/assault charge of which Ben had no real reason to believe he was innocent again he didn’t really know. He had only just re-connected with him after months off screen following the toxic argument, which also never got resolved, no sorry I didn’t realise Liv had a drink problem, I get your concern now, sorry for what I said, sorry for how I treated you, which as much as I don’t like Ben I feel he sort of would have deserved after how Aaron spoke to him.

Finally, and I realise no one is going to read this haha. In one of my responses to these people before I gave up and said we are never going to agree, let’s leave it. I said content wise the story has been poor, there has been such little effort with the writing and Ben isn’t really a character right now, still only serving for other Aaron related plot and after 10 months on the show has only one small chat about gay marriage with Charles and the weird gay app conversation with Vic, Ethan and Luke outside of Aaron which is just not a proper character on a soap that it is 6 times a week. Funnily enough, I got no response on that, no comeback or pathetic or disillusioned excuse. So do they all know how bad the story is and choosing to fight on the missing episodes I haven’t seen, whether those pints were dates or the fact they spoke after Ben’s disappearing act, which does nothing but really prove what a nothing of a character he actually is more than anything as there is no way I really believe it was all just down to COVID when other plots didn’t suffer the same way.

I will shut up now!

#emmerdale #emmerdale thoughts #aaron x ben #anti ben #anti ben tucker #anti Aaron x Ben anti Benron #antibearon

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theplaguebeast · 4 years

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Watching Game of Thrones is a Form of Self Harm

AKA ALL MY GAME OF THRONES LIVEBLOG POSTS

101 + 102: oh man i forgot dany gettin fkin raped is in the first ep man they really set the tone for this shitshow early

103: “War was easier than daughters” BRO YOU HAVEN’T PAID ATTENTION TO HER INTERESTS IN FIVE YEARS NO WONDER SHE’S DIFFICULT

104: Baelish: *literally tells Ned he’s untrustworthy* Ned: *trusts him anyways*

105: Bobby just threatened to take away the job Ned didn’t even want like that was gonna make him not quit lol what a dumbass

106: every time viserys speaks there’s a muppet superimposing on him in my mind going 'i aM tHe DrAgOn!’

107: Joff after being king for .5 seconds: KILL THEM ALL

108: Drogo: *promises to rape, kill, pillage, and plunder* Drogo: *does these things* Dany: *surprised pikachu meme*

109: Robb ‘We’ve basically accomplished nothing’ Stark

110: hey Dany doesn't even have dragons yet and she's burning someone alive as punishment so uhm people were surprised when this continued?

201: Robb ‘I want to rescue my sisters but holy shit, politics’ Stark

202: Theon ‘I think i’m much more important than i really am’ Greyjoy

203: Renly desperately trying to consummate his marriage like ‘i’m too fucking gay for this fuuuuuuck’

204: Littlefinger popping up in Cat’s life like ‘so your husband’s dead can we bone maybe?’ and gets surprised she pulls a knife on him

205: Theon ‘I want dad’s approval so i’m gonna stab my brother in the back’ Greyjoy

206: Jon ‘I can definitely kill a pretty girl, I swear it’ Snow

207: you know nothing jon snow is first used in reference to fucking and SHE’S RIGHT

208: Yara ‘you’re a fucking moron, brother’ Greyjoy

209: i love that tyrion getting his nose chopped off with an axe turns into a delicate slice that knocks him out

210: Robb ‘u let the kingslayer go u can’t tell me it’s dumb to marry a rando when i’m promised to another’ Stark

301: Tyrion ‘oh my god there’s a thin line running across my face i’m a MONSTER’ Lannister

302: Loras is fkin RUDE yo

303: Podrick ‘the whores won’t take my money’ Payne

304: Dany’s acquisition of the Unsullied proves she’s 100% willing to do a bad faith deal like

305: Jaime full on sexually harassing Brienne here like an asshole

306: T^T POOR FUCKING ROS MY BABY

307: BRONN CALLING TYRION OUT ON HIS WANTING TO FUCK A VERY TALL 13YR OLD GO BRONN

308: Olenna poking fun at how fucked the tyrell-lannister family tree is bout to get with all these weddings what a boss

309: awww how sweet jon’s learning to stand up to peer pressure

310: Jon ‘u said u loved me you’ll never hurt me RIGHT?’ Snow; Jon ‘shot full of arrows’ Snow

401: Oberyn is #triggered by the lannister song

402: w00t joff’s fukkin ded m8

403: Stannis ‘blood magic is fine but I WON’T BUY AN ARMY’ Baratheon

404: poor pious little tommen didn’t stand a chance against a tyrell on a mission (also, s’fuckin creepy aight she’s bein predatory af and no one ever seems to call it out bc she’s, yanno, female)

405: HODOR

406: HEY LOOK DANY IT LOOKS LIKE INDISCRIMINATE VIOLENCE MAKES PEOPLE MAD AT YOU WHODA THOUGHT

407: Petyr ‘you could’ve been my child but i still kissed you full on the mouth’ Baelish

408: Baelish acting like it’s some big secret he wants to fuck Sansa, talking to her like she’s too dumb to know the man who KISSED HER FULL ON THE MOUTH wants under her skirts, what a cocky shit

409: hi Ghost (where, uhm, where tf has he been?)

410: grabby hands, popping outta the snow, LIKE DAISIES

501: Danaerys ‘my dragons are my children but since they’re not listening to me i’m gonna lock em in a dungeon and then get surprised when they’re upset with me’ Targaryan

502: man brienne just keeps getting character assassinated by everyone in fkin westeros poor gal

503: Janos ‘I DIDN’T VOTE FOR YOU’ Slynt

504: Sansa’s last Big Mistake: when LF says ‘do you believe me’ and she goes ‘yeah sure’

505: a good mother disciplines her children BITCH THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU DID YOU JUST SHOVED THEM IN A HOLE, NOT EVEN THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY DID THE THING YOU’RE UPSET ABOUT

506: OH NO. OH NO. OH NO.

507: Cersei’s like ‘my son loves his wife where did i go wrong?’

508: ’killing and politics aren’t always the same thing’ THE FACT SOMEONE NEEDS TO TELL HER THAT

509: Hizdahr zo Loraq is like ‘bitch do you know ANYthing about the culture you’re trying to destroy?’ (the answer is no)

510: Stannis: *sacrifices his own daughter on a fire* The Men: *desert* Stannis: *shocked pikachu meme*

601: Up to their chests in ice water mfers gonna get the hypothermia

602: HI JON U HAV A NICE NAP?

603: Tormond ‘your dick’s not big enough for you to be a god’ Giantsbane

604: For someone so good at peeling people Ramsay can’t peel a fuckin apple for shit

605:

606: *compulsively humming along with the theme song*

607: HI SANDOR! I bet u had a VERY nice nap huh

608: Stealing Lem’s boots after hanging him, what a power move

609: Jon ‘I want to die’ Snow

610: RIP Pycelle, Margaery, Loras, Mace, Kevan, Lancel, High Sparrow, a bunch of Faith Militant, and like 100 various members of the court (and random peasants outside, too); also Septa Unella (the bitch), and Precious Tommen; ALSO Walder Frey and uhm like 30-40 other Freys?

701: Jon, derisively: And how should I be smarter? By listening to you?

702: Everyone: DON’T GO SOUTH JON SNOW Jon: I’m gonna go south.

703: Jon, with the ‘who even ARE you?’ is his most legit moment since he came back from the dead

704: Dany: Wat do i do Jon: DO NOT BURN PEOPLE, ANYTHING BUT THAT

705: ”I’m not beheading them” BECAUSE BURNING THEM IS BETTER??????

706: Using your +1 Flaming Longsword to cauterize a wound

707: Everyone: Jonathan, PLEASE LEARN TO FUCKING LIE

801: Dany: Whatever they want. Me: OH SO MORE CHILDREN THEN??

802: HEY DANY REMEMBER A WHILE AGO WHEN YOU SAID IT WAS COOL FOR THE KINGDOMS TO ASK FOR THEIR INDEPENDENCE? NO? ah, okay :\

803: THE CRYPTS WERE A MISTAKE

804: Murderuncle roadtrip 2.0

805: RIP QYBRUN I REALLY LIKED YOU, YOU CREEPY LITTLE SHIT

806: genuinely surprised tyrion’s not already on fire

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temarisnara · 3 years

Note

Temari, Shikamaru, Neji, Rock Lee

god this is my THIRD ATTEMPT TO DO THIS SO IM DOING IT IN WORDS DOC

temari

favorite thing about them: i've written this 3 times!!!! BUT!!!! i love that at the age of FIFTEEN she'd already got the title cruelest konoichi. like. ilu queen. and she's so confident too, like she knows she could wreck anyone's shit, she goes up against MADARA without ever pausing. and i love that whilee on the battlefield she's cruel, as a civillian she's just...lowkey a bitch. like she's scary and people know to fear her but she doesnt actually...bully anyone besides shikamaru. she's also so ride or die for her brothers and i LOVE it.

least favorite thing about them: whatever that ooc mess was that was used to get her and shikamaru together.

favorite line: idk but when she tells madara "don't understimate me!" GO OFF QUEEN

brOTP: gaara and kankuro, 100%. the sand siblings are so fucking good. i could talk all day about them. in the leaf i think she vibes with ino, though she needs Breaks. she didn't like, Get choji at first but the more she got to know him she's like "oh i get it he's just Genuinely Good" and now he's her favorite. i also like to imagine she and karui bonded over not being from the leaf, and also having ino as their sister in law. that's a unique experience okay.

OTP: shikamaru!!!!!!!

nOTP: i dont really have any?? i just can't ship her with anyone but shikamaru, i think he's it for her. temari was never really one to be concerned over romance or anything, it's not something she cared about, and she kind of expected an arranged marriage so she was more focused on Not doing that. but then shikamaru happened and it was like. oh. she actually wouldn't mind spending the rest of her life with him. huh. gross.

random headcanon: i have a lot of Thoughts about temari as a mother. i think that she never planned on being one, just like how she never planned on falling in love. it wasn't opposition, just. her childhood was fucked up, she had no good parental role models, she was much more interested in being a konoichi. but then she and shikamaru got serious and shikamaru is the head of the nara clan and he needed an heir. she agreed to it, in a few years, but shikadai was an oops ! so anyway, temari hated being pregnant lmao which is why they only had shikadai. but once he was born temari is like "oh. i'll kill and die for this child." like shikadai wasn't Real to her until she held him (vs shikamaru, who's been obsessed with that child since temari first started showing). temari actually tried going back to work when shikadai was a year old but pretty quickly she realized "fuck this". temari likes working, a lot, but she also likes being needed and she just likes her kid! so she oversaw all his training from the time he was old enough. it was hard at first, because she's never babied him, but she knew that the training she recieved was uh, not acceptable, so she struggled with what pace was actually okay for his age. hinata and sakura actually helped a lot here- hinata also had Fucked Up training as a child and sakura trained with tsunade who is Insane so they were able to figure out what worked best for their children. GOD THIS GOT LONG. anyway. i love temari and shikadai thank u.

unpopular opinion: i love shikatema so much but she was done so fucking dirty

song i associate with them: hurricane by the fray

favorite picture of them: she always looks so cool

shikamaru

favorite thing about them: god. i hate this but i genuinely love how smart he is and how fucking lazy he is. like how he kept complaing about his match with temari being moved up and then you realize it's because he was relying on the shadows? bitch. he's so cool. and when he pretended to be asleep rather than deal with whatever the fuck orochimaru was doing ESRTYTJU that's when i knew i loved him. but also, i love his development. like he really just wanted to coast through life, didnt want to get involved in anything, just wanted a plain wife and two boring kids. he had absolutely no aspirations. and he never had a ~change of heart~ for his own sake, he just surrounded himself by people who genuinely inspired him and he wanted to be of use to them. l love him!!!

least favorite thing about them: like the misogyny doesn't bother me THAT much because hashtag it could be worse! but it's not good lmao

favorite line: BITCH! "i'm your god" SIR I LOVE YOU. also his line about how he can't die because naruto doesn't have a smart younger brother to help him, and he's the only one capable of being naruto's advisor.

brOTP: ino and asuma are the only Strictly platonic ones but obviously i LOVE his friendships with choji and naruto

OTP: TEMARIIIIIIIII, also choji and naruto.........i'm soft

nOTP: listen. it's not notp but everytime i remember people ship shikaino i'm like "they're siblings???" like no judgement, i have too many fucking ships fandom calls siblings, but their dynamic is SO sibling like to me lmao. also like...shikamaru loves ino and would do anything for her but he does NOT like her ass. you know he avoids her when he's too tired to deal with her bullshit.

random headcanon: LET'S KEEP TALKING ABOUT SHIKADAI. so when shikamaru's dad dies he has a line about how he wasn't around when shikamaru was growing up, and shikamaru obviously doesn't resent him for that, but he does make a concious choice to Not do that. it'd be too easy to get wrapped up in his job, but he won't let himself. he makes sure to make time for shikadai. they play shogi together, and shikamaru is very involved in his training, and even when he's exhausted from work he'll listen to shikadai talk about his day and never show how tired he is. he loves his kid so much, temari makes fun of him for being soft. also when shikadai was a baby shikamaru was lowkey obsessed with him lmao. temari needed Breaks but shikamaru...never really did. even when he was crying he would just hold and bounce him until he calmeed down (also shikamaru was way better at calming shikadai down than temari lmao)

unpopular opinion: listen. is shikamaru misogynistic? yes. but he doesn't like, hate women or think less of them, he just needed to learn that not every woman is as insane as ino. i've seen too many "naruto as vines" videos where it's like shikamaru is like "oh sorry i fell asleep waiting for you to make me a sandwich" like thats not him!

song i associate with them: uh nicotine by P!ATD

favorite picture of them: my header on twitter i guess idk!

neji

favorite thing about them: oh gosh. i genuinely like that he was a fucking angry child. he had every right to be. the hyuuga system is FUCKED! he projected it onto hinata, which wasn't fair to her, but god. he didn't have an outlet and the chunnin exams was his only opportunity to take his anger out on the main branch. anyway i love that after naruto beat his ass he was like "okay maybe i should stop being a prick" and he just. got better. became friends with his team. healed his relationship with hinata. he became so genuinely good

least favorite thing about them: this motherfucker really had me CRYING over him. rude as fuck.

favorite line: i am way too tired to think about this

brOTP: HINATA!!!!!!! also rock lee.

OTP: tenten!

nOTP: hinata. i hate you freaks.

random headcanon: himawari would've been his favorite. like, he loves boruto, that's his nephew, but he's a mini naruto and that's. exhausting. himawari is perfect in neji's eyes though and tenten makes fun of him for it.

unpopular opinion: its' not unpopular but genuinely it's bullshit he died when hinata's dad was RIGHT THERE. like. i will never not be fucking heated that neji died to protect hinata and her dad was just twiddling his goddamn thumbs as it happened. you useless FUCK. god. anyway i also hate that neji's death he just talked to naruto like his speech to naruto was good but we deserved more neji and hinata talking. i also don't like he died for naruhina to happen lmao we've talked about this, someone in the konoha 11 needed to die for naruto to prove obito wrong, and i dont even mind that it was neji, but his death shouldn't have had anything to do with naruhina.

song i associate with them: i dont have one but uhhh i found a neji playlist so i'm gonna say r.i.p 2 my youth by the neighborhood

favorite picture of them: bruh. idc.

rock lee

favorite thing about them: HE'S SO HARD WORKING AND DETERMINED AND NEVER GIVES UP AND HE'S A GENUINELY GOOD AND KIND HEARTED PERSON GOD ROCK LEE I LOVE YOU

least favorite thing about them: WHERE'S HIS SCREENTIME KISHIMOTO

favorite line: dude he's so weird i have no idea

brOTP: neji and tenten!!! and GAI OF COURSE. AND SAKURA. 10/10.

OTP: GAARA.

nOTP: listen there is GENUINELY nothing wrong with it but i dont vibe with rock lee/tenten.

random headcanon: ok this isn't a real headcanon but i made myself laugh yesterday thinking that orochimaru got bored and cloned rock lee and that's where metal lee came from. anyway real headcanon is he's married to gaara in boruto. thank u.

unpopular opinion: shut up about his and gaara's fight oh my GOD i dont care

song i associate with them: uhhhh idk here have a rock lee tribute

favorite picture of them: what's important is his good heart

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azoreaneve · 4 years

Text

The fucking Epilogues, tales of dubious coherence

I’ve ranted about The Epilogues in general but I figured it would be ideal to make a rant just for the characters because ooo boy this is the biggest reason most of us end up disliking these fanfictions.

🍬&🍖 John: honestly actually came out okay. Him becoming depressed made sense and serves as a reason why he’s not reaching out to everyone nowhere near as much as he did. Was okay and I liked him.

🍬Jade: oh god, why did she suddenly become such a bitch?? (no pun intended) They blame it on the doggie hormones but, ugh, that still does not excuse how she suddenly becomes blind to Dave and KK’s discomfort! I find it easier to imagine she was pretending to be blind, no one is that stupid, not to the point of marriage and discussing kids. Even grimbark Jade was nicer! Also she doesn’t have a tail in the canon and yet here she does??

🍖Jade: well she's gone for the most part, if that's how you avoid the 🍬 bs then so be it...

Rose: while she’s sick she still seems like our Rose. Afterwards, in 🍬 she just becomes this distant figure and we don’t hear that much about her? It’s the ghost of Rose: someone who now only cares about her marriage I guess. And in 🍖 it's just, such a fucking pain to read her sections, and it's not even mostly because of her but, ugh!

Dave: he literally went back into the closet??? I’m pretty sure by the end of the canon he had accepted he was gay/bi now but I guess that was thrown out the window. He also has a huge obsession with Obama that I don’t recall being a thing before? On 🍬 he can’t stand up for himself when it comes to the Jade situation and just has a pseudo-shit life, haunted by the “what could have been”s. Then at the end, on a sequence that completely came out of left field, he legit meets Obama, confesses to being gay to him, and is made to ascent to his Ultimate Self when there were no prior signs of that ever becoming a thing (no sickness, no mention of being aware of his other versions, very wtf). In 🍖 they do show these signs and DaveKat becomes this kinda weird thing that exists. Idk but this Dave didn't concern me that much. I was probably getting a bit too jaded at that point, after dealing with all the 🍬 nonsense.

Jane: I don't really see her wanting to become this bitchy bossy corporate bitch as she grows up but I wouldn't mark it as impossible. I can even shrug at her wanting to regulate troll reproduction but raping Jake and then dragging him into an abusive household in 🍬?? Enstating some dystopian corporate fascism, pretty much following the steps of the Condesce?? HAVING SEX WITH GAMZEE??? And even keeping him at home like he’s part of the family now and giving him (her?) milk?? That whole plotline was more intense than most darkfics I’ve read, holy shit. Jane had already gotten the shaft in canon with a bunch of her plot points going nowhere, like her planet quest, or her whole detective thing getting ditched, and she spent a lot of time being possessed by a computer so in the end was not surprised to see her get the shaft again. We see much less of her in 🍖 but she's like the same character there.

🍬&🍖Jake: he started becoming a punching bag at the end of canon and grew up to become Jane and/or Dirk’s punching bag, wow. I’m greatly distraught at how much his almighty ass is talked about, and yet we see NONE of it! NADA! Would have also liked to see Brain Ghost Dirk make an appearance. No way Jake was dealing with all his shit without occasionally meeting him.

🍬Roxy: whatever happened here, that was not fucking Roxy wtf, that was an empty ghost of a person who, at the very end when she reconciles with John, started sounding like Roxy again. What an absolute shame.

🍖Roxy: they are kinda okay at first, when with Callie, but then they become a he and he reminds me a lot of Tumblr transtrender groups because he's just kinda mimicking Dave, like Roxy's got no personality of his own. I want to believe he just didn't find himself properly yet. This is far from the canon Roxy, especially when he says all that shit about societal gender expectations? Like, bitch, the chesspeople weren't judging the way you dressed and acted wtf.

🍬&🍖Dirk: more Dirk splinters should practice their 3rd favourite hobby of decapitation. It was fun to have him take over the narrative at first in Meat but he just spiralled down into a huge douche, sometimes straight up sounding like Caliborn. Don’t you miss when Dirk was just a lost kid wanting to become a better person? Don't you miss it when he wasn't such a massively insufferable pretentious cunt?

🍬Kanaya: Kanaya definitively exists. She feels like she was washed off of some of her charm. Otherwise not much to say, we also don’t go into much detail on her.

🍖Kanaya: she was turned into an annoying worried wife. Wow. And then gets tricked just like that. Hey remember when Kanaya's personality didn't revolve around her wife? I miss that.

🍬&🍖Beep-beep-meow: he's annoyingly more PC (not the only one but since it was Karkat, known for shouting rude shit at everyone, he was the more grating case). Overall they don't do much with him and he just loses a but of his shine in both cases.

🍬&🍖Terezi: she got the bad ending, what else is there to say? I did like her tho. She's still not taking much shit, not even from the prince.

🍬Gamzee: oh you mean the clown that haunted the fuck out of 🍬 and made some of it both hilarious and extremelly disgusting? Yeah that was someone wearing the skin of Gamzee for sure.

🍬Vriska: I'm just so fucking tired of Vriska. I get that people love her but I couldn't care less about her. At least she's making comedy now in HS^2 instead of being just a bitch.

🍬Aradia: eh she's fine and having fun.

🍬Sollux: ffs why did they have to bring the worse and more useless pre-retcon Sollux. I fucking love Sollux and want to see the version of him that isn't always brooding and can't do shit. I want the post-retcon Sollux who's a cool guy half the time. And then at the end he gets abandoned because honestly? Maybe that's what pre-retcon Sollux fucking deserves.

🍬&🍖 Calliope: I hope you enjoyed seeing like 0.5s of alpha Callie before they hide away forever because of scary Callie, who becomes hella annoying in 🍖.

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #epilogues spoilers #long post #tretas da eva #i just really needed to get tgis out #ESPECIALLY THE BIT ABOUT SOLLUX #sfw

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splendidlyimperfect · 5 years

Link

Written for @fyeahstingsu Stingsu Event 2019; prompt: parents

Also written for Nonbinary Month 2019 (Sting + Trans, Natsu + Trans)

——-

Natsu and Sting are ready for kids, but what Natsu wants might not be the easiest path.

Chapter Summary: Natsu and Sting are ready for kids, but what Natsu wants might not be the easiest path. Chapters (3/5): 1 | 2 | 3 Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Sting Eucliffe Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Sting Eucliffe, Lucy Heartfilia Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Flowers, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, they're adorable and i love them, Natsu is awkward as hell, and Sting loves him for it, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Marriage Proposal, Weddings, Wedding Fluff, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Pregnancy, Trans Male Pregnancy, parenting, Trans Sting, Trans Natsu, everyone's gay because reasons

*Author’s Note: I didn't tag this as mpreg because it's not a magical pregnancy. Trans men having children is definitely something that happens in real life, and it's becoming more common as people are more accepting of gender and alternative ways to make a family. I tried to portray this as respectfully as possible - I have two children, and wanted to share that joy and sweetness of being pregnant and becoming a parent. <3

——-

“You’re sure you want to do this?”

Natsu’s head rests in Sting’s lap as they sit on the couch, and Sting combs his fingers through Natsu’s wild hair as he asks the question. Natsu’s got both hands resting on his stomach, and he’s staring down at them intently. He takes a deep breath, then tips his head back and looks up at Sting.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I’ve always wanted kids. And you have too – we talked about it on our first date, remember?”

Sting nods as memories of that night flood through him. They’d gone to a festival of lights and met under a string of lanterns shaped like fireflies. The night had ended with them kissing on the beach while stars spread across the sky above them. Sting had known that night that Natsu was the one he wanted to be with forever.

“I know,” Sting says eventually. “I just always thought we’d adopt, y’know?”

Natsu grabs Sting’s hand and kisses his palm, giving him the soft smile that makes Sting’s stomach fill with bubbles. “I know it’s…” Natsu sighs. “I know it won’t be easy. Lots of people won’t get it.”

“Like my dad,” Sting grumbles.

“Your dad’s gonna be an asshole no matter what,” Natsu replies, kissing Sting’s fingertips. “And I don’t care what other people think.”

“I know you say that, darling,” Sting says gently, “but this isn’t gonna be something you can hide. And nine months is a long time.” He squeezes Natsu’s hand. “I just wanna make sure that you’re sure.”

Continue reading on AO3

“I am,” Natsu says, and his voice carries no trace of hesitation. “I want this. Want them – him or her or whatever – to be part of me.” He scrunches up his nose. “It’s hard to explain. We’ve always been different about our bodies.”

Sting hums, returning his fingers to Natsu’s hair. To Sting, the idea of his body changing in that way – swelling with life, getting round and soft and unfamiliar – it makes him feel itchy. Wrong. Like he’d felt before he’d started transitioning; skin not fitting quite right. But Natsu’s always been more comfortable being this way, and Sting loves him for it.

“Okay,” he says, leaning down and kissing Natsu’s forehead. A warm, contented feeling spreads through him as he reaches down and rests his hand on Natsu’s stomach. “Let’s be dads.”

Natsu’s right – lots of people don’t get it. Even their friends are hesitant at first; uncertain how to talk about it with them. Strangers make rude comments at the grocery store when Natsu starts showing, and Sting nearly punches a guy in the lineup at Starbucks who calls Natsu a freak.

But the first time that they hear the baby’s heartbeat, all the teasing and frustration and awkward explanations dissolve into happy tears. The hormones make Natsu more emotional than usual, and Sting’s always cried at strong feelings, so the two of them are a complete wreck after the doctor’s appointment. Luckily Lucy and Cana come over with cookies and milkshakes and they end up all cuddling on the couch and watching ‘Queer Eye’ until Natsu falls asleep between them.

They’re at Gray and Rogue’s place the first time the baby kicks. Gray’s the closest person to Natsu, so Natsu grabs Gray’s hand and holds it against his stomach as a grin spreads across his face. Gray looks startled for a second, then his eyes widen as he feels the tiny movement beneath his fingers.

“Holy shit,” he whispers, sitting down on the couch next to Natsu. Sienna, who is three and repeats everything she hears, toddles over and says, “shit.”

“Language,” Rogue chides mildly, but he crouches down next to Sienna as Sting hops over the back of the couch and wraps his arm around Natsu.

“Here,” Natsu says, taking Sting’s hand and pressing it to his stomach. It takes a second and Sting’s worried he missed it, and then he feels a tiny flutter underneath his fingertips. He’s so surprised that he makes a noise that’s halfway between a yelp and a sob.

“That’s our baby,” he says softly, and in that moment, it hits him full force that there’s something tiny and precious and alive inside Natsu. His chest tightens and he presses his forehead to Natsu’s, laughing when Natsu wipes away the tears on his cheeks.

“We cry too much,” Natsu says, laughing when the baby kicks Sting’s hand again. “See, they agree with me.” Then he makes a face. “And they also seem to be doing gymnastics right now.”

“Baby?” Sierra asks. She frowns at Natsu’s stomach for a second, then clambers up into Sting’s lap and pats his hand. Sting takes her chubby fingers and puts them where his hand has been, and Sienna squeaks when she feels the movement.

“Yeah,” Sting says, still staring at Natsu’s face in awe. “Yeah, that’s our baby.”

Natsu swears a lot, but the curses he manages when he goes into labor are impressive, even by his standards. When the ER attendant offers him a wheelchair to get to Labor and Delivery, he’s very eloquent about where and how they should go fuck themself.

“God fucking son of a bitch,” Natsu hisses, squeezing Sting’s so hard that Sting’s pretty sure his fingers are going to break. “What were we thinking?”

Sting’s about to tell him that this was his idea but thinks better of it when their midwife Wendy appears in the doorway and shoots him a glare that days don’t you fucking dare.

“You can do this,” Sting says, kissing Natsu’s forehead and brushing his sweaty hair out of his face. Natsu just groans and clenches his teeth, and Sting feels so helpless. If he could take the pain for Natsu, he would, but all he can do is squeeze Natsu’s hand and tell him how brave he is.

Labor feels like it goes on forever. Natsu manages to nap for a bit after the epidural, but Sting stays awake, running his hand over Natsu’s stomach and talking quietly to the baby.

“Try to be nice to your dad, okay?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss along Natsu’s side. “He’s been through a hell of a lot to have you.”

Six hours later, when a tiny, noisy red bundle is placed on Natsu’s chest, Sting gets it. The look of complete awe and adoration on Natsu’s face is like nothing Sting’s ever seen before, and he understands why Natsu wanted this – why he wanted to have this precious, living thing inside of him.

“I love you so much,” Sting murmurs, reaching out and running his finger over the baby’s tiny nose. Their skin is so soft, and their hair is thick and curly like Sting’s. “Did you decide which name you want?”

They’d come up with a list, but Sting had insisted that Natsu pick once the baby was born.

“Jacen,” Natsu says eventually, hands trembling as tiny fingers wrap around his thumb. The name seems acceptable to the baby because Jacen makes a soft, sleepy noise and cuddles into Natsu’s chest.

“They’re perfect,” Sting whispers, wrapping a gentle arm around both of them and kissing Natsu’s cheek. “And so are you. You’ve been so brave and amazing, and I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” Natsu whispers, curling up against Sting.

Sting shifts on the bed until he’s holding both Jacen and Natsu, knowing that everything he needs is right here in his arms.

#fairy tail #ftlgbtfics #ftlgbtales #stingsu #nbm2019 #stingsu2019 #nonbinary month #sting eucliffe #natsu dragneel #sting x natsu #fluff #parenting #prompt: parents #trans #trans character #fanfic #my fic

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prongsmydeer · 5 years

Text

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2:

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

#ayesha says things #ayesha liveblogs oth #liveblogging #long post #a very long post lmao #one tree hill #this is the kind of content i make now lol

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storybrookexladies · 5 years

Text

PICK ONE OF YOUR MUSES; Victoria and Gothel are doing this.But Victoria is going first.....

FILL IN THE QUESTIONS/STATEMENT AS IF YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR AN ARTICLE AND YOU WERE YOUR MUSE

Filled in by Vic for her and Arthur.....

Bonus: The interviewer for the article with Victoria is her WWE biggest rival Trish

TAG 10 PEOPLE TO DO THIS MEME, (REPOST, DON’T REBLOG)

TAGGED BY: @secretsxstorybrooke

TAGGING: Victoria wants Regina to do this as well. She also tags the following; @withoutapprcval, @bravelostgirl, @mutimuseornahonceuponahtime (for Regina, Killian and Emma), @kxngofnxvxrlxnd, @wickedsdaughter, @fcrgedstrcngth (for Anthony), @kidscfstorybrooke (Lucas is doing it cause she had to), @corruptcorporateexecutive (Natasha), @ravenhairedbandit (Ella) and @secretsxstorybrooke (Steven....)

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME? “Victoria Belfrey, or Lady Tremaine or Rapunzel what’s your’s?”

Interviewer: I’m Trish and blimey...... lot’s of names. On with the quiz though.

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? “Victoria Gabriella Belfrey, also known as Lady Rapunzel Tremaine.”

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE CALLED THAT? “Because I’m a Lady? And Tremaine is my family name? Belfrey because of the tower.....”

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? “I’m taken by a man...... he’s called King Arthur.”

5. HAVE ANY ABILITIES OR POWERS? “Yes. I have a magic wand. But I don’t have powers.. only abilities and moves like Sweet Chin Music and the Belfrey Lock..”

6. STOP BEING A MARY SUE/GARY STU. “Wow Trish so rude.... I seem to remember that you are the one who is a Mary Sue.... like seriously you don’t have no keys to no city.”

7. WHAT’S YOUR EYE COLOR? “I have blue eyes.”

8. HOW ABOUT YOUR HAIR COLOR? “I am a brunette, also slightly blonde a little.”

9. HAVE YOU ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? “My father Phillip Vance Belfrey, my brother Steven Belfrey, my daughters Drizella, Anastasia and Rose, my son Lucas, my stepdaughter Ella and step granddaughter Lucy. My husband Arthur.”

10. OH? WHAT ABOUT PETS? “We have a dog called Excalibur and our family has a cat.”

11. THAT’S COOL I GUESS, NOW TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. “I don’t like anyone who messes with my friends or family I don’t care if you have a good reason–just don’t do it. I don’t like being locked in towers and I don’t like bitches called Trish....”

Trish: Um……

12. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES/ACTIVITIES YOU LIKE DOING? “Ok... so I like wrestling, the gym.. watching films, the spa. Reading, singing. Listening to Faith Hill.”

13. EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? “I have hurt people.... I hurt my family... and I regret that I should have not gone down the dark path I did.”

14. EVER… KILLED ANYONE BEFORE? “Yes I have.... don’t want to talk about that though.”

15. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? “Dog or cat…”

16. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. “Being evil.... and maybe rudeness”

17. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE AT ALL? “My father.”

18. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? “Bisexual and proud.”

19. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? “I am too old for school now but I did go.”

20. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS ONE DAY? “I’m married to Arthur.... and I have children... but yes.”

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANBOYS/FANGIRLS? “Yes I do. A lot of peeps love me. Judging by merch sales.... of mine and Gothel’s Dangerous Women shirts compared to yours.”

22. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF? “Being like my mother.... she’s a bitch. My mother is also an alcoholic who left her family for booze.”

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? “Anything that I like.”

24. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? “My family… especially my children Drizella, Anastasia, Rose and Lucas. My stepdaughter Ella and step-granddaughter Lucy and my husband Arthur.”

25. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WET YOURSELF? “This is a personal question but I have wet myself in labor and also at other times but this is too personal.... so I can’t answer.”

26. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? (HIGH CLASS, MIDDLE CLASS, LOW CLASS) “I am a royal through marriage and I’m also Lady Rapunzel Tremaine…”

27. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? “Loads of friends But close friends maybe two or three... Gothel is one, Amelia the other..”

28. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? “Yes, please. Pie is nice.”

29. FAVORITE DRINK? “A whiskey, wine or gin in moderation or pepsi max.”

Trish: Ok... cool.

30. WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE? “Anywhere my family is. Plus I do love Belfrey Towers. And the ring where I beat your ass.”

31. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? “Yes Arthur... I said I’m married are you?”

Trish: I’m married to hunky Canadian Calgary Hart member John Smith.

32. WHAT’S YOUR BRA CUP SIZE AND/OR HOW BIG IS YOUR WILLY? “I am not obliged to answer this question as this is private information....”

33. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? “I like The ocean but I also like swimming pools.”

34. WHAT’S YOUR TYPE? “A person who is nice and caring. A person who puts us first and also likes my family.”

35. ANY FETISHES? “Not many but being topped is my biggest and also I admit I call Arthur daddy sometimes....”

Trish: HOLY SHIT.....

36. SEME OR UKE? TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? “I’m a bottom and proud of it...... don’t know the semi or uke... but I’m also a switch... I prefer being submissive though.”

37. CAMPING OR INDOORS? “Indoors but do like camping.”

38. ARE YOU WANTING THE QUIZ TO END? “Yes please you are annoying me.” Victoria says before Trish is given the Mother Nature by Gothel as she runs in before Victoria adds a Sweet Chin Music and Belfrey Lock then her and Gothel stand tall with the Smackdown Women’s Championship. “Boom bish that’s what ya get.”

#about the muses #headcanons; victoria belfrey #about the muses ; about victoria belfrey #icon games; victoria reacts #muse quizzes; victoria belfrey #headcanons ; victoria belfrey #about victoria belfrey things #muse questions; victoria belfrey #muse questions #muse quizzes #character questions #character headcanons

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oddcoupler222 · 6 years

Text

okay, you literally asked for another longass post:

So, Madelyn is the oldest daughter to a gay head of state, and even though she's Sansa's biological daughter, her personality is so Margaery that it is almost frightening. She's Marg -- but even more outspoken and sometimes less diplomatic, because she has no designs on politics, so speaking her mind is somewhat of her status quo

Growing up, she wasn't the most popular. She wasn't *un*popular, either; she's wealthy, pretty, smart, and outgoing. but her mothers being who they are meant that anyone who has an issue with them in anyway didn't care for them, people have routinely thought that she gets it easier in life, and she's always sort of weary for people who want to get to know her and use her for who her moms are (it has happened. more than once.)

Anyway. So, coming out as bi was somewhat difficult for her, BECAUSE of Sansa and Margaery. Not because she was ashamed or anything, but because for the people who opposed Marg, a big part of them being against the Gays, you know, was about like, making children gay and being deviant and stuff. So, she didn't want to "prove" them right in any way. But regardless, her coming out was somewhat of a spectacle to the public. In college, she was dating a girl, who ended up making it public without her permission, and it was all over the media (this is somewhat of a side note into Ellie and Amelia's story. As in, Ellie kissed Amelia shortly after this happened, and worrying about Ellie having to face a public fallout the way she was watching Madelyn do was a factor into her gently turning her down)

So, anyway. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, and Madelyn squared her shoulders and did the interviews and whatnot about her sexuality. But her walls went up more than a bit after that

She graduated from college and then law school, and unlike Ellie, who left King's Landing asap, Madelyn does love it there, and stays there and close to the moms as she makes a life for herself, working her way up at a prestigious law firm -- Madelyn puts a LOT of expectation on herself. Part of "I'm Margaery Tyrell's daughter" and a need to project herself as perfectly and put together as possible

That expectation also comes into her love life. Because she wants to settle down and to find her person, and sees her parents as like the golden standard to aspire to

So... her Future Love of Her Life comes into play also years earlier than they get together. At her firm, which she joins when she's 24 and already a boss ass bitch, there's a guy a couple years older than she is, who ends up being her nemesis at work. Olivar Florent, who - if able to vote when Marg was PM - wouldn't have voted for her. He’s an entitled jackass, who often talks shit about Madelyn and has like a complex about her. He also makes comments about her sexuality and believes she gets things easier because of her who mom is (when, a lot of the time, it has meant she's had to work twice as hard, esp at this job). They also are always competing for the same promotions and cases

When Madelyn first meets him, he's married to Emma, who is a couple years older than Madelyn as well, and is a decent enough presence around the office. Not that the two of them ever get along, really. She's not a Jackass like Olivar is, but she's married to him, which makes Madelyn already weary of her. Though, she sends baked goods to the office and is always at the office parties and whatnot. Even though - as Amelia will tease her over the years - Emma is physically her office crush (because she is Gorgeous and quietly witty), their only interactions over the years are short, often tense/charged conversations and she somewhat feels that Emma has something against her (which she assumes is the same shit that Olivar does)

Cut to Madelyn, age 35. She's been at the firm for 11 years, is kicking ass at work. She has the best moms in the world (her own words), a sister and a best friend who are together and who she loves both enough to kill for, and a baby niece. And... she's lonely af. As Sansa's daughter, she has a romantic soul, which led her into several romantic pursuits, and always ends up getting her heart broken. The last one of these had almost led to an engagement, but that got called off by the woman in question, who went on a diatribe about Madelyn somehow being Too Much but also Not Enough, and even though it was a couple of years ago, she's sort of soured on this whole trying to open her heart kind of thing

Now, on the other side of matters - about a year or two ago, Olivar got caught out cheating on Emma, and they separated. It was a huge thing for office gossip, and ever since then, of course, Emma hasn't been around the office. The one thing about Olivar that Madelyn DOES like, is his daughter. Alyssa, who's 13 and precocious af. And whenever he has the day with her, he usually ends up working and having her sit around in the office (because he's a shitty dad), and Madelyn always lets her sit in her office (where she has some Cool Stuff, knick knacks and stuff, and she talks to her like "an adult" - not like actually bringing up Grown Up topics, but, you know - and orders her lunch and stuff).

Their story would begin as such - Madelyn is coming into her office, and who is standing there but... Emma.

And she's confused, like... "I know it's been a while since you've been around here, but, Olivar's office is still a floor down from here." And Emma takes a deep breath and gathers her strength and, "I know. But I came to see you." Madelyn's eyes narrow and she's intrigued, and gives her a questioning look. Emma looks nervous, which - she's known her/seen her around for a decade, and she's never seen her fidget or look anything other than calm, so it’s strange with her all like, "I'm sorry I don't have an appointment. I... I just. I was wondering if we could talk." and she looks around the office, still nervous. So Madelyn nods and lets her in and is all, "I'm aware we don't know one another all that well. But, are you all right?" Emma blurts out that she wants to hire Madelyn as her divorce lawyer.

Madelyn is SHOCKED, because well, they've hardly spoken and never gotten along all that well when they have aside from a handful of surprising moments over the years (including one very memorable time in which they were caught under mistletoe at an office holiday party and Madelyn laughed it off, rolling her eyes at her somewhat drunk coworkers, but Emma had been -- just staring at her. Her mouth, specifically. Madelyn had tentatively put her hand on her elbow to murmur to ignore everyone, and it had jolted Emma out of her stare. And basically had her avoiding the office for a few months).

Plus, "You two aren't divorced?" Because they've been separated for almost 2 years now, as far as she knows. And Emma is biting at the inside of her cheek, because she has trouble being super open with a lot of people, especially after having been in a marriage with someone who is domineering and rude and loud and controlling. But she sighs and confesses that Olivar has been fighting against actually getting a divorce ever since she moved out, and has been doing everything in his disposal to stop her from proceeding, and she is sick of it. BUT Olivar has a lot of money (she was a stay at home wife/mother, before), he comes from a prestigious family, and has a LOT of legal/political connections, and he isn’t afraid to make threats about custody or lord anything over her head, so it's been a very difficult time for her

Madelyn is still surprised, and is all, "Why me?" Bc over the years, Emma would have basically known everyone at the lawfirm. But Emma tells her that she knows she's at least as good of a lawyer, if not better, than Olivar is, because of the amount of issues she'd caused him. And she knows she is outspoken and not afraid to lay a smack down when needed (paraphrasing), and... she bites her lip but has a gleam in her eye that Madelyn enjoys when she says that she knows Madelyn wouldn't be afraid to take a case that is going against Olivar, because she knows how much she dislikes him and how much they don't get along. And Madelyn takes it in, nodding, because, Emma's not wrong. Plus, she can imagine the look on Olivar's face when he finds out, and - yeah, she likes that

And thus, a deal is struck.

They start meeting up after that - out of the office, at Madelyn's suggestion, because the less Olivar sees them and could find out about what they talk about/their plans, the better. So, they start meeting up and getting coffees at the cafe that Emma is working in (which she is embarrassed about, explaining to Madelyn on one of her breaks, after being somewhat standoffish, because she's a 37 year old woman who spent the majority of her adult life relying on her husband to pay for everything and now she's worried and struggling. Emma and Olivar met when they were in college, and even though she graduated with an art history degree, she has never done anything with it/has little experience because of him not wanting her to work, and they got married at like 23).

Madelyn takes it all in, Emma’s flushed cheeks and mutterings about calling herself an idiot for being in that situation, her fidgeting - before she slides her hand across the table and onto Emma’s. Which makes her cheeks darken and she stares down at Madelyn’s hand on hers, before looking up at her while Madelyn tells her that anyone could have gotten swept up when they were young and being trapped in a bad situation isn’t her fault. And that her aunt worked in a cafe for a long while in her adult years, and that she admires her work ethic. Before she realizes - okay, maybe Emma had in the past had a discomfort about her sexuality, and she drops her hand.

Spurring Emma into action and she tries to talk about paying Madelyn, laying out a financial plan (because she knows that there is no way Madelyn doesn't make a ton of money from her clients, since she remembers how much Olivar makes), Madelyn tells her to pay her in coffee, unable to hold back a little wink

So, they start to bond over the next couple of months, learning about one another, bit by bit. Madelyn brings her work out of the office sometimes when she doesn’t have to, setting up shop in the coffee shop. Talking on her breaks. They end up catching the end of a documentary that’s airing on a television in the cafe one day, one made about Margaery and thus features Madelyn heavily, and Madelyn surprises herself by sighing at it. Emma watching her carefully and saying that Madelyn made all of it, with all of the pressure, look very easy, and Madelyn pushes through a smile and they talk. Emma opens up a bit about how the few days Olivar does get to have Alyssa, she worries about her, and that they are typically the days she goes to see her mother in the care facility she is in, as she has dementia, and it’s just... a lot.

Emma is still a bit reserved around Madelyn, though she doesn't know exactly why. The moments where they share smiles and then Emma will clear her throat and look away or suddenly need to get back to doing something at that given moment. This only kind of changes over a month in, when they are meeting at Emma's apartment for the first time, and Alyssa is there and sees Madelyn and gets super excited and they talk a bit about what's going on for her school project. And Emma is ?? confused... until Alyssa shrugs it off and tells her that she hangs out in Madelyn's office whenever she's had to go to Olivar's work, basically for years, even when they were married.

But that sort of really starts breaking through the reserve she has remaining, because Madelyn is just almost maddeningly lovely. It’s a bit scary

Olivar comes to drop something off (and rage about the divorce papers he's just been served, which had been why Madelyn had stopped by to drop off a “celebratory gift” for the papers being served -- she kind of already has this actual crush going on), and sees Madelyn there, which only makes him more pissed. And then ANGRIER when Alyssa purposefully implies that Madelyn and Emma are a little something-something more

Madelyn goes along with it at the time, because, well, she hates the man and it’s so very far from the worst thing she could imagine... but when Olivar leaves, she apologizes. Especially because she has always thought her sexuality/her moms has played into Emma's reservedness around her

But Emma is sort of frozen and blushing and eventually admits that it's okay (and now... gods, she has Thoughts).

But that sparked a Thing, and now around the office, it's going around the Madelyn is not only defending Emma against Olivar in their divorce, but also that they are dating. Which she keeps up as a facade, even though she knows she SHOULDN'T. This, of course, leads to a Fake Kiss That Feels Real, of course, and then after that is when Emma admits that she isn't exactly straight, which was a very confusing revelation for her, which also caused a big thing between her and Olivar and is something he has threatened to use against her in the divorce if she ever went through with it. (and she admits that a part of why she'd always been so distant toward Madelyn is because she was always SO unapologetically herself and outspoken about who she was and about supporting her moms and Emma (especially when she and Madelyn first met) was intimidated by that, and tbh pretty nervous because she was (and is) attracted to Madelyn, like everything about her) [also, she might have secretly had the magazine article from when Madelyn came out when she was in college for a long time, because it was like a celeb-fantasy-crush, when she was first feeling like she might not have been straight]

They get even closer, like... Madelyn doesn’t even know. Almost dating? Sort of? They’ve had some more moments since the kiss, and she knows without a doubt how much she wants Emma. Emma meets Sansa and Marg, and winds up getting a job at a museum that Sansa gets her an interview at. Emma is thrilled that Alyssa and Madelyn are so close and also admits that a lot of what had put her off of Madelyn, aside from her sexuality and everything I already said, was that Olivar would often say things about her that were entirely unflattering, but she sees now that they were all super untrue and that Madelyn is actually... pretty dreamy. Featuring a lovely moment wherein Olivar sees Madelyn and Alyssa and Emma at one of the office parties (because Madelyn told them to come as they were "dating" in the eyes of everyone else at the office), and when he makes a threat to Emma about taking away custody, about her being gay, about all of the connections he has, Madelyn stepping in and being like, "You think you have connections? I'd like to see you even try. Actually, I would love it. Really."

Which... Emma is... well how can she even try to resist that? (she cant)

And when they go home from that night, they sleep together, and thus, the lines get blurred and it feels so thrilling but so messy. Madelyn starts worrying about not being good for them and that she is really overstepping in their lives, plus she starts to have some trouble at the firm (because Olivar has one of the partners essentially tied around his finger) and this is causing "unnecessary tension" and when Emma finds that out, she doesn't want to complicate Madelyn's life and decides that they shouldn't be doing this

Which cues a few lonely weeks, as the divorce really sets in motion, and Madelyn has a chat with Margaery about living up to expectation and being perfect. She misses Emma and Alyssa - who also miss her quite a bit.

But then in the end, Madelyn quits her job and goes to another firm that has been after her for years. Slightly less prestigious, but better - morally - and she goes to represent Emma, who is shocked that she came, given how their big fight went when she fired her. And then, naturally, comes the big confessions of actual feelings, and Madelyn might have felt like she is either too much or never enough and that she needs to be perfect, but she really is pretty perfect for this little family

#whew #those who wait #sansaery babies

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1-800-jikooks · 6 years

Text

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood || Prologue

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Warning: smut, swearing, drugs and alcohol abuse

Word Count: 1.3k

Chapters - Next

He had just been thrown out of the wedding when she saw him, he took out a pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. Amused by the scene he previously caused during the reception, she glanced at him and asked, “Can I have one?” “These are pretty expensive you know?” He replied coldly, blowing out a small cloud of smoke. “So?” She asked annoyed by his attitude. She put the wedding gift she took earlier from the mountain of boxes and bags of congratulatory gifts to the happy couple on the floor, took a sip of the champagne bottle and extended her hand.

He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh. He searched for another and handed it to her. He didn’t feel like having a conversation with anybody at the moment, especially after being thrown out like that. He waited a minute to see if she would go away, but she didn’t. “Bride or groom?” he asked reluctantly. “Bride, I’m friends with the brother,” she replied signaling him to light her cigarette. He reached for the lighter in his pocket and she leaned in to the flame. “You’re friends with gay Jimin?” he questioned. “Yeah, me and gay Jimin go way back.” She stopped for a second and looked at him. “Does everyone know?” She asked him a bit worried, he nodded in response. “Well, his parents are not gonna like that. You?” “Bride, I used to fuck her.” He said carelessly. She let out a laugh. He smiled the small woman had captured his interest now. “You used to fuck, Park Jeongae? How did you manage to survive that?” He let out a dry laugh, “I do not have a single clue. So, what have you heard about me?” “Nothing, just that you’re the worst.” she shrugged, blowing out another cloud of smoke “Says the girl who just stole a blender from a wedding,” he replied smiling. She looked at him, eyes wide and quietly whispered to herself “ No.” as she ripped the wrappings. “No, no, no! Really?! Shit, I thought it was a food processor.” She threw the box at some nearby bushes. He smiled. “Who’s the worst now, huh?”

He let out a sigh. There was a small silence between them, the sound of laughter and music coming from inside the venue. It was a warm spring night, and the sky was filled with glittering stars. “You know, getting married doesn’t remove you from the burden of having to act like a human being.” “Totally, those two are doomed,” she replied taking another sip from the bottle. “Right? Has any couple ever had a more dishonest start to a marriage? I mean, the balls to have a traditional Catholic wedding.” “When she’s already have two abortions.” “And can only orgasm through anal.” He scoffed. At the sound of gasp they turned only to find Jeongae’s parents walking into the venue. “Mr. and Mrs. Park,” he said bowing his head at them while clearing his throat. They glared at the two whispering I something about how disrespectful and rude a they were. Not caring he directed his attention to back to her and simply added, “You’re pretty,” She gave him a weird look and awkwardly said “Thanks.” “Min Yoongi,” he said extending his hand. “Y/N,” she says checking him out before shaking it. Their eyes met and they quickly casted aside their gaze to the pavement. The next thing they knew she was straddling him on his bed while he took her shirt off. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here, I’m not even attracted to you,” She panted in between kisses. Her fingers immediately tangled his raven black hair, connecting her lips with the soft pale skin of his neck. “So?” Yoongi asked taking off his shirt. “Good point.” she said reconnecting their lips. She rolled her hips creating friction between her and Yoongi’s boxers earning a deep groan from his lips. She smirked at his reaction and repeated the movement slowly increasing the speed. Suddenly he switches their positions and takes off his underwear. He was about to get off the bed to look for a condom when she stopped him, “I’m on the pill, just fuck me already.” He smirked and started kissing her neck leaving dark marks behind. In a swift but rough movement he starts thrusting into her. He grabbed her wrists on top of her head restraining her. “Fuck, I like that.” “All girls do,” he said with a cocky smirk. “Hey, don’t call me all girls,” she said slightly insulted. He switched her position, turning her around forcing her to get on her knees and arms. He pulled her hair and started to pound into her harder than before. The only sounds in the room where the sound of their skin slamming into each other and a few curses that escaped their lips occasionally. “How do you even get banned from a Panda Express?” He asked laughing. “Hear me out, ok?” She replied. “I was with my friend, gay Jimin, and we were so wasted, especially him because he’s such a light weight. I don’t remember very well but something about jumping over the counter and starting a food fight, then eating said food mixed with verbal assault to the workers and throwing good to terrified customers. Anyways, we ended up pretending that I only spoke Korean to the cops and ranting about how our dear friend Ted died in a fire so the annoyed cops let us go and now we are banned from Panda express.” He laughed, “You know, I’m glad this is a one night thing so we can talk about all these horrible things about ourselves.” “Totally,” she said giving him a high five. They laughed for a bit more and before they knew it they were making out again and stumbling back into his room. It was 2 in the early morning and the found themselves outside the house on the front yard talking about their lives, realising how easy it was to talk to each other and joke about each other’s flaws. The conversation flowed perfectly with every word spoken, there wasn’t any awkward silence or judgement, it was just them. “So, after she left me,” He said massaging her foot. “I started reading our texts.” “Oh, I’ve done that,” she said taking a sip of beer. “Even though I had warnings, when she left me it kinda knocked me out. Like I couldn’t live with myself. Even though she clearly had issues.” “Yeah, break ups hurt.” She said comforting him, “I’ve heard, I don’t really do the relationships.” “Me neither, not now at least.” He said quietly. “So, what? Are you one of those creepy foot guys?” She says teasingly. Yoongi stops massaging her. “No, I just have nervous hands and need a way to release that stress,” He said stumbling nervously over his words, she let out laughter that captivated him. “Whatever you say Yoongi,” she smiled “And that’s how I almost killed someone in a foursome,” she said looking into his eyes. He let out a chuckle and they just layed there on his bed, looking at each other while smiling like nobody else in the world existed. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Hey,” she responded. He put her hand on his cheek and rubbed it. He didn’t know what compelled him to do it, but something about her was completely irresistible, it scared him. She leaned into his touch and before they realised what they were doing she gave him a light kiss on it. Once they did she shook his hand off her face and he cleared his throat. She turned around and got comfortable in the bed. “Good Night,” she said. “What do you think you’re doing?” He said sitting down. “Don’t worry, I’m just lazy. I’ll sneak out in the morning.” She said closing her eyes “Well, I talk in my sleep! So…” He said trying to get her to leave. “I don’t care, I sleep like a log,” she responded.

He let out a groan and layed down again, falling asleep.

Chapters - Next

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koikingu · 7 years

Note

every odd number, have fun!!

oh goodness thank you. ; u; a gr8 way to start the morning tbh~

1. Are looks important in a relationship?honestly? no not really. I mean yeah to become attracted to someone look would probably play an important roll, and I don’t mind getting super dolled up to impress a guy (and myself lmao) but when you’re actually in the relationship, I don’t think it’s crucial to look your best at all times. David says I could wake up with crusty ass eyes, a rat’s nest for hair, and dried drool on my cheek and he would still love me anyways. xD

3. Are you a virgin? no, I lost my virginity at 17.

5. Are you in love?I sure am!!! He’s honestly the sweetest man. And he loves me too. ~

7. Can you commit to one person?ofcourse I can, it honestly isn’t hard.cheating is one of the worse things a person can do to another person. :C but if we’re talking about like mutual open relationships thing, as much as I find them intriguing and I like the sounds of it and the idea of it, I’m too much of a jealous person honestly. ;_;

9. Describe your perfect mateDAVID. honestly enough said but, if it wasn’t david, someone whose intelligent but goofy. someone persistent and devoted, and someone super understanding of me and actually cares about what I think and can hold a conversation with my awkward ass xD

11. Do you ever want to get married?I do! But, I’m not ready for marriage just yet. Maybe in a few years. I was engaged to my exboyfriend of 5 years and I now I feel like, it’s a little too soon for me, especially because when something as long as 5 years that I thought was going to be forever had ended, it occurred to me that everything could end just like that, and I want to be cautious and not rush into things.

13. Do you get jealous easily?unfortunately, I do. It’s not my best quality. I get rather possessive and it’s kinda awkward, and extreme. But, it’s because I care so much. ;___;

15. Do you have any piercings?as of right now, no. I used to have my ears pierced in 3 different spots, and I used to have my nipples pierced, but I took them all out for no reason the last few years and I regret it.

17. Do you like kissing in public?Most times yes, as long as we aren’t the center of attention or in a spot that can be easily focused on. I was literally just talking about this with David the other day about how he’s so tall it would draw attention to us, and I don’t like being watched. ;A;

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?DAVID. or i would at least hope he does LOL.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?yepyepyep. cheating is stupid.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?I am in a relationship this year.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?nope. oh well.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?No.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?a lot actually even if its tears of joy

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?Mhm! 3 different guys, not at the same time though.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yeah! I don’t know if I’ve ever romantically kissed someone younger than me.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?I mean kinda? xD they hated him for cheating on me and breaking up with me different times, but i still liked him anyways, but oh well now ‘cause i don’t like him anymore. c:

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?once upon a time lmao.

41. Have you had sex so far this year?!!! yes and it’s the best sex i’ve ever had lmao ; u;

43. How long was your longest relationship?5 years

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?one

47. How old are you?21! I turn 22 in october. c:

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?I have a lot of favourite things about David.He has a look on his face when he’s happy or excited about something, and it’s literally contagious. He’s the best at cheering people up even though it’s the silliest and most assertive way possible lmao. I love that he is so devoted to our relationship and treats me like a princess. (he has a giant penis

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?non-romantically, yes there are a few people.romantically, ofcourse because I love him with all of my heart.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Idk, maybe. I mean I doubt that he feels the same way about David and I, but for a while I was super upset about him and his new girlfriend. I mean I still am, but it doesn’t bother me like it used to anymore.

55. Share a relationship story.WELL YOU SEE. I am a hilarious being. And sometimes David doesn’t understand how hilarious I can get.So my laptop is a piece of junk, and David had an extra 16gb of RAM just lying around that he planned on installing into my laptop especially because we were planning on playing Portal 2 together but he didn’t know if my laptop could handle it, so I was supposed to send him my laptop’s specs before I had went to work. I got to work and I forgot to send him those details. So I messaged him,“oh shit, babe, I forgot to send you my specs“ so I sent him a picture of my glasses. get it? SPECS?it went past over his head and he asked when I got them, and I told his April of 2015 and was like oh okay cool I guess.So then I get home, and he is like okay lets take a look at your specs, and I handed him my glasses and he looked pretty confused, and I was like. DID YOU NOT GET MY JOKE FROM EARLIER?????

57. Things you want to say to an exI wish it ended a different way. You meant so much to me and even though we’re gonna be civil, I don’t know if I can fully forgive you.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)http://koikingu.tumblr.com/tagged/linhlinhlinhtheres pictures of myself there

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?honestly, their height or teeth and probably their entire face lmao.

63. What is your definition of “having sex”?uhhh for hetero couples: but the penis into the vagina or the buttfor gay couples: fellatio and putting the penis into the buttfor lesbian couples: cunnilingus, fingering, anything intimate reallyidk

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?!! I really like giving head ; u; It’s fun~

67. What is your idea of the perfect date?Anything as long as we’re both fully focused on one another. I think anything that intimate would be the best kind of date.

69. What turns you off?That’s kind of hard to explain? I mean a lot of things can turn me off, but like it’s kinda hard to? Like, pain is kinda weird. I like being on the receiving end of pain, but if it’s too much pain I’ll probably cry and ruin it for the both of us. And that has happened too many times already LOL

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?oh god a really long time ago, I had a dream about being the focal point of a reverse harem that had like 8 guys in it. And obv like any eroge I had to have sex with all of them at one point and multiples of them as well, and ekjfsrnkjgtrnt come back to me dream ;A;

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?I’m not sure. I wouldn’t mind if anyone didn’t do anything sweet for me, but if I had to like pick? I guess a reflection of what I did for my exbestfriend when she went to go do something out of her comfort zone, I cooked an entire dinner and bought her a cake so when she got home she could just enjoy it and relax with people that love her. but yeah idek. it’s kind of a sore spot. like not from her though obv lmao. just someone else to do something like that for me. LOL but pls don’t actually because i would prob feel pretty bad if someone went out of their way to make anything special for me ;A;

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?one time, my cat laid on top of me, and he pressed his little snout against my lips and it was the best thing.David’s offered to kick people’s asses for my sake lmao and that’s super sweet of him xD but he turned his apartment into our apartment when I needed help.He was there for me when no one else was, and I can’t thank him enough for that.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?As long as it isn’t illegal and you guys are happy, go for it.Don’t let the age gap come between you though.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?The last time I REALLY felt jealous was when my exboyfriend and my exbestfriend started dating. other times is when my current boyfriend’s ex added him on facebook after rudely blocking him on facebook.

81. Who are five people you find attractive?David@pastelgamerwitchTwitch (my handsome cat)Nick’s GirlfriendDwayne the Rock Johnson

83. Who was your first kiss with?uhhhhhhh I don’t remember LOL

85. Why did your last relationship fail?oh god. sore spot.uh. there were a lot of different reasons why it failed.we were both emotionally abusive to each other, his family didn’t like me so it added on stress for him, he hadn’t loved me since the second year of our relationship but milked it on for 3 more years, and he just couldn’t commit to me i guess. Like I kinda understand, but it hurt.What really drew the line was the whole not loving me since the second year and then him and my exbestfriend kept secrets from me, lied to my face about insecurities and then started dating behind my back. RIP oh well though. As long as it suits them.I have my own man to worry about.

#linhlinhlinh #asks

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razzledazzlefoshazzle · 7 years

Note

1-200?

200:

My crush’s name is: Cassie

199:

I was born in: 1998, Australia, NSW

198:

I am really: I am really annoyed that you wanna know so much about me anon y u do dis

197:

My cellphone company is: Optus

196:

My eye color is: Brown

195:

My shoe size is: 11 Australia Mens

194:

My ring size is: i dont know

193:

My height is: 181cm or 5′10″ i tihnk

192:

I am allergic to: NOTHING I AM UNSTOPPABLE

191:

My 1st car was: No Car

190:

My 1st job was: I was an assistant at some guys authentic pizza shop. He was an asshole and i shouldve killed him before quitting.

189:

Last book you read: Ready Player One

188:

My bed is: My bed is my one true love and warm machine luv u bb

187:

My pet: I have 2 dogs they’re fluffy love muffins called Pepsi (boy) Bella (Girl) ill post photos of them later!

186:

My best friend:

@schotts-fired

at this point i have as many memes with Kat as i do my real life best friend.

185:

My favorite shampoo is: Really nice smelling ones.

184:

Xbox or ps3: PS3

183:

Piggy banks are: Piggy banks are dumb i have a golden pineapple for my spare change.

182:

In my pockets: earphones.

181:

On my calendar: every friday i do stuff but thats it

180:

Marriage is: cool

179:

Spongebob can: produce good memes

178:

My mom: Isnt nice i probably wont talk to her once i move out.

177:

The last three songs I bought were?Buying? Songs?

176:

Last YouTube video watched: Masculinity by Mr Sark

175:

How many cousins do you have? at least 3

174:

Do you have any siblings? 3 Brothers and a Sister ive seen twice

173:

Are your parents divorced? Yes

172:

Are you taller than your mom? Hell yeah shes a goblin at like 150cm.

171:

Do you play an instrument? No

170:

What did you do yesterday? I slept, watched movies, complained about the internet being down.

[ I Believe In ]

169:

Love at first sight: Not unless its a dog

168:

Luck: No but if someone does something better than me they’re lucky >:(

167:

Fate: No

166:

Yourself: No

165:

Aliens: I wish they would fix everything

164:

Heaven: Questioning my religious beliefs lately

163:

Hell: ^

162:

God: ^

161:

Horoscopes: No but they’re funny to read

160:

Soul mates: No.

159:

Ghosts: NOT BUT LIKE ALIENS I WANT THEM TO BE REAL GHOSTS PLEASE BE REAL.

158:

Gay Marriage: Yah its about as good as straight marriage

157:

War: its about as shit as i am

156:

Orbs: what are these?

155:

Magic: Refer to both ghosts and aliens.

[ This or That ]

154:

Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153:

Drunk or High: Drunk

152:

Phone or Online: Online

151:

Red heads or Black haired: Red Heads

150:

Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149:

Hot or cold: Cold

148:

Summer or winter: Winter

147:

Autumn or Spring: Spring

146:

Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate

145:

Night or Day: Night

144:

Oranges or Apples: Apples

143:

Curly or Straight hair: Straight

142:

McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds

141:

White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate

140:

Mac or PC: PC

139:

Flip flops or high heals: High heals like healing in video games am i right?

138:

Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor

137:

Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136:

Hillary or Obama: Obama

135:

Burried or cremated: Burried so i may rise again!

134:

Singing or Dancing: Dancing

133:

Coach or Chanel: What

132:

Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks:Who

131:

Small town or Big city: Big City

130:

Wal-Mart or Target: Target

129:

Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler

128:

Manicure or Pedicure: neither?

127:

East Coast or West Coast: East coast cause western australia is a bunch of weirdos

126:

Your Birthday or Christmas: My birthday cause giving gifts is hard and spending time with people is easy.

125:

Chocolate or Flowers:Chocolate

124:

Disney or Six Flags: Disney

123:

Yankees or Red Sox: is that sports?

[ Here’s What I Think About ]

122:

War: War Never Changes

121:

George Bush: He definitely did sleep with that woman.

120:

Gay Marriage: Good again!

119:

The presidential election: Trump is a rollercoaster of emotion ranging from bad to worse. At least the memes are good!

118:

Abortion: Choice

117:

MySpace: Had some pretty good games on it

116:

Reality TV: awful

115:

Parents: My parents? Out of the 4 ive had i like one of them.

114:

Back stabbers: What kind of question is this i hate them.

113:

Ebay: Dont use ebay really.

112:

Facebook: The thing i use so real life friends can contact me its trash.

111:

Work: My experiences have been, less than pleasant.

110:

My Neighbors: I dont know any of my neighbours but they’re rude and dont reply to my hello’s.

109:

Gas Prices: i dont fucking know

108:

Designer Clothes: I dont care for clothes i wear tshirts and trackies all the time.

107:

College: No opinion on call egg.

106:

Sports: Fun to play boring to watch

105:

My family: i like my dad and my brothers

104:

The future: must be better than now?

[ Last time I ]

103:

Hugged someone: someone i wasnt related to like a month ago

102:

Last time you ate: literally always

101:

Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: last friday

100:

Cried in front of someone: fucking years ago i dont cry in front of people anymore

99:

Went to a movie theater: like a month ago

98:

Took a vacation: never

97:

Swam in a pool: 3 months ago

96:

Changed a diaper: never

95:

Got my nails done: a year ago

94:

Went to a wedding: also a year ago

93:

Broke a bone: never

92:

Got a peircing: never

91:

Broke the law: never

90:

Texted: couple hours ago

[ MISC ]

89:

Who makes you laugh the most: myself, anime

@schotts-fired

88:

Something I will really miss when I leave home is: the internet

87:

The last movie I saw: Taking of Pelham 123

86:

The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: Finding my happiness again

85:

The thing im not looking forward to: my ex making social interactions awkward again

84:

People call me: Jack

83:

The most difficult thing to do is: get out of bed, finish breakfast

82:

I have gotten a speeding ticket: no

81:

My zodiac sign is: Sagittarius

80:

The first person i talked to today was:

@whoneedsasociallife

79:

First time you had a crush: Primary School one of my Teachers

78:

The one person who i can’t hide things from: Nobody.

77:

Last time someone said something you were thinking: Constantly

76:

Right now I am talking to: Nobody

75:

What are you going to do when you grow up: Anything hopefully ill be happy

74:

I have/will get a job: Someday

73:

Tomorrow: Movies with dad, night with friends

72:

Today: nothing

71:

Next Summer: nothing

70:

Next Weekend: also nothing

69:

I have these pets: 2 diggity doggos

68:

The worst sound in the world: the sound my computer makes when it bluescreens while music it playing

67:

The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex

66:

People that make you happy: almost nobody

65:

Last time I cried: like 5 hours ago

64:

My friends are: trash shit garbage

63:

My computer is: absolute trash after so many issues im planning on getting a new one

62:

My School: sucked complete ass i was abused by a teacher

61:

My Car: doesnt exist

60:

I lose all respect for people who: no answer

59:

The movie I cried at was: anything that involves any form of friendship and love, or dogs dying

58:

Your hair color is: brown

57:

TV shows you watch: read my about

56:

Favorite web site: tumblr/youtube

55:

Your dream vacation: the fucking moon

54:

The worst pain I was ever in was: I had a cough last year that completely killed my voice and tore up my throat, coughed up blood

53:

How do you like your steak cooked: Well Done

52:

My room is: Clean and tidy af

51:

My favorite celebrity is: none

50:

Where would you like to be: in the future

49:

Do you want children: no

48:

Ever been in love: yes it fucking ruined me

47:

Who’s your best friend:

@schotts-fired

we already have more memes than my irl best friend

46:

More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends

45:

One thing that makes you feel great is: memes

44:

One person that you wish you could see right now: nobody tbh

43:

Do you have a 5 year plan: nope

42:

Have you made a list of things to do before you die: climb Mt. Everest, thats it

41:

Have you pre-named your children: nope

40:

Last person I got mad at: myself

39:

I would like to move to: a place with good internet

38:

I wish I was a professional: Twitch Streamer

[ My Favorites ]

37:

Candy: Red Licorice

36:

Vehicle: Shopping trolleys i guess

35:

President: Obama

34:

State visited: I dont travel

33:

Cellphone provider: Optus

32:

Athlete: None

31:

Actor: None

30:

Actress: None

29:

Singer: None

28:

Band: None

27:

Clothing store: None

26:

Grocery store:None

25:

TV show: Doctor Who

24:

Movie: Cant remember

23:

Website: Tumblr/Youtube

22:

Animal: Dogs

21:

Theme park: Wet n’ Wild

20:

Holiday: New Years

19:

Sport to watch: None

18:

Sport to play: None

17:

Magazine: None

16:

Book: Ready Player One

15:

Day of the week: Friday

14:

Beach: Nobbys Beach

13:

Concert attended: None

12:

Thing to cook: Potato Bake

11:

Food: Pork Ribs

10:

Restaurant: Any place that sells pork ribs

Radio station: None.

Yankee candle scent: what

Perfume: no

Flower: any that can go in my hair like a hipster

Color: Purple

Talk show host: John Oliver

Comedian: Louis C.K.

Dog breed: Shiba Inu

Did you answer all these truthfully? maybe i dont know myself

Fuck you anon you cant stop me im dedicated as heck and butts fight me.

:Update: I went and updated these cause my internet came back!

#asks #about me #question thing

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lorainelaneyblog · 7 years

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‘You, [ ] [ ], like [ ] [ ], made the mistake that horny meant slut, because Loraine Laney, despite her own protestations--’

‘Did she cheat on [ ]? Badly, like?’

‘No, there was one fingering episode which he had figured out before she even got home, they weren’t living together, not that that matters, but she was very regretful, and thought the relationship was over, but she had been very honest about curiosity about other men, and different penises, even, you don’t remember, Loraine, but larger penises, that’s why he was insecure about dildos, remember that?’

‘Yes.’

‘She was infinitely curious and always will be, and that is why 50 Cent is her perfect partner.’

‘Surely there must be someone more normal than 50 Cent. He’s crazy. Everyone theorizes that he does line ups, is she going to do line ups too?’

‘She’s agreed, but it’s not a fantasy of hers, she loves the marriage, and the group sex, she loves it too.’

‘But why gay though?’

‘There’s really no explanation for that. As I investigated the gang bang in porn, I must have fixated on a certain look and found myself attracted to high men in the form of soldiers, construction workers, even cops, when I was being tortured, there was one--’

‘Really?’

‘What was wrong with him?’

‘Oh, a baby, but he was undercover, to torture, a baby with women, he was dating a man.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘I knocked on his door once to confront him about the torture and I heard them scrabble behind the door, and some months or years later, in Ottawa, I saw a man gazing so sadly from the opposite balcony that I felt sure he was the boyfriend, sent to Ottawa, to help stalk and torture me.’

‘And she was right.’

‘How does she know all this shit?’

‘They were obvious.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well remember [ ] [ ]--’

‘Have you talked to him, because I was jealous of him and you too. Why?’

‘He’s a gang bang boy.’

‘So finish that.’

‘I was quite at home hanging out with my gay best friend in gay bars, and, when asked, I was not adverse to gay sex, it didn’t gross me out, I just felt, and God revealed to me the actual number of gay men, eleven percent--’

‘Are you fucking kidding me? Nobody like women anymore?’

‘That’s how I felt. And there is a romance between a hag and her gay best friend, and I would argue they always have the upper hand, because you are mostly straight, so rejection, with [ ], was the order of the day, thus I rejected male bisexuality in favour of male promiscuity with women.’

‘These men are very promiscuous, but why do they want you, girls like you?’

‘It’s just an orientation thing, they group together as friends and lovers, and find a girl.’

‘What’s in it for them?‘

‘They compound their dominance, they are very compatible with men in every way, it’s particularly noticeable because they choose to socialize mainly with men--’

‘So women get used.’

‘Exactly.’

‘What were you doing at the beach? That place is bullshit for girls, I heard that over and over again.’

‘She stopped going [ ] [ ], and turned to prostitution. She called a “swinger’s club with no rules.” And it’s true. Yes, they have one, occasional, gang bang night at the swinger’s clubs, but most of the couples don’t go, a few prostitutes go and some men, and the biggest, Loraine, you will be surprised to hear, is three men on one woman.’

‘What, like ever?’ we ask together.

‘Ever,’ says God. ‘Surprise, surprise. She thought about it and vetoed, Loraine is very, very, very, very, very, cautious with men, [ ] [ ], she knows they can be dangerous, from the news, and she fucks with no one, ever.’

‘What about cheating though? She fucked with that with [ ].’

‘He knew. He knew everything. He even allowed her to go to the bar that night. Three and a half years of devoted monogamy and she was getting curious, and he knew it. He never cried, once, over Loraine, ever, trust that. She cried a bit, but not much. They were excellent partners for a time, and that was it.’

‘Why him, and not me, I don’t understand, why didn’t you want me?’

‘She didn’t want [ ] either.’

‘What about [ ], she fucked him.’

‘That was a lie.’

‘Really? I heard it from [ ] [ ].’

‘She thought they did, but failed to confirm it, and spread it around, and Loraine was very happy to both catch her in a lie, and find that she had, herself, been mistaken in that gossip, because she was starting to disapprove of her gossiping, about herself and her sister, oddly. She was a piece of work, she did everything herself and gossiped about others. And Loraine did well to get rid of her.’

‘Why didn’t they screw?’

‘Older, cautious, judicious, and acting on an old friendship, which, despite that [ ] and [ ] had fought, not about her, suffice to say, but about their own attraction for each other, which pisses off Loraine, because she was kept in the dark her entire life. So.’

‘I don’t want to share a man.’

‘That’s normal,’ says God. ‘Your orientation dictates that your wife is open minded to your going off with either a man or a woman. She does not insist on being a part of either.’

‘That’s good for me.’

‘God says that Loraine and [ ] [ ] just designated his orientation as a high medium, which, [ ] [ ], is so far from her natural inclinations, and [ ] [ ] too, Loraine, he is a high medium, that she never would have naturally gravitated toward you. He was another mistake, he was a high medium too, but she found him attractive in a sweet way, and wasted a bit of time on that, he was black, half black, and very attractive, but, her self esteem was healthy enough to realize that there wasn’t a hope in hell.’

‘Why did she go after cute guys?’

‘She would say their options were limited, she never chases any men, 50 Cent is a stand out for her, and yes, even with the nose job, he is too good looking for her, some say by a long shot, and that’s unfortunate because she’s still kind of cute, and she’s very devoted to him, so I hope, one day, he overcomes, joking, Loraine, he loves you, he just can’t work out how to communicate without emasculating himself, kidding, again, he can’t work out how to communicate with her without giving her a heart attack, that’s it, Loraine. And that’s it.’

‘Don’t you have some brilliant idea?’ we ask together.

‘Who is this girl?’ asks [ ] [ ]. ‘Does she like me? Is she pretty? Why haven’t we dated? I see your question, and, in hospitals, people go dutch, and I have dated quite a bit, but nothing has stuck.’

‘Do you have a reputation?’

‘Say, as a committed bachelor or a guy who uses scatter tactics, even as I ask, I realize this is impossible, I envision your connections with women would be obvious to all, and respected.’

‘That’s what it is. And that’s what we felt about you. That’s why the [ ] [ ]’s and, to answer your question, it was him who straightened it out for us, thank God, because we all felt wronged.’

‘Yeah, and I screwed her, because she, I can’t spell the word.’

‘She set her sights on him, and it bugged you.’

‘When I saw him, I felt the connection was such that I was willing to sacrifice her feelings, so yeah, I screwed her, she said, “He’s looking really good these days.”’

‘He looked exactly the same.’

‘Yeah. What was it like with [ ]?’

‘It was fun to see him looking and feeling like a man.’

‘What did you do to [ ]?’

‘I want to take this, she did nothing to [ ], that he wasn’t, almost, expecting. The only shock was a gang bang, thoroughly tidy with three men she met with a friend outside of a bar.’

‘Outside?’

‘Seriously.’

‘Oh, my God. Were they rude?’

‘Dismissive, afterwards.’

‘So, yeah.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Did it hurt?’

‘Yes, I was so dumb, I thought I would be invited to spend the night in one of their beds.’

‘Seriously, why?’

‘They regretted for years not being kinder and asking for her number, because, namely because she insisted on condoms and didn’t smell.’

‘Did they lick you?’

‘No, they played with me though, but it was too hard.’

‘They hurt you.’

‘A bit but I don’t think it was intentional.’

‘And the sex?’

‘I hate the description finger cuffs, but they laughed when they came, condoms both ends.’

‘Oh, I see. And the last guy?’

‘Let the other guys play first, I think.’

‘He was the most dominant, Loraine, he didn’t mind.’

‘Fucked you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘With an old condom from the floor, but she tried her best, she did, and [ ] wasn’t angry but he told someone and word got around and it affected both his judgement and the general opinion of Loraine. You don’t know this, Loraine, but everyone in Centrex, everyone, Loraine, and this is why you were both lauded and hated, heard about what happened, and [ ] looked a bit like a cuckold so he had to get “revenge,” such as it is.’

‘What did he did, because I thought you were so happy with him.’

‘She would have been better off with [ ],’ says God.

‘But [ ] was a bit of a beast to women.’

‘But kind to her, always, and not to a fault, she deserved it, she never cheated or even thought about, save that, and that would have pleased him, another man, when they were together, not sexually, I’m saying, it never went beyond admiration of his beauty, she realized--’

‘Why is she so smart?’

‘You are too, and here is a present: You are a highest intellectual, [ ] [ ], and I have it on good account that someone who is reading the work of Loraine Laney, will tell you this. And he is regular reader now, Loraine, even after he wronged her on Facebook.’

‘He found her on Facebook. He lives in Toronto. He was very kindly, offering her to come and stay when she was talking about the police torture of the past, but most of former cadets don’t realize, Loraine has a prison bird in Toronto, who wouldn't have put up with such a thing.’

‘Is he violent?’

‘Loraine puts up with no kind of bullshit from anyone, he was a lying cheater and a closeted gang bang boy, and that is it, not violent in any way towards women, but an incorrigible crack head who would do anything for crack, including head butts with rifles on gang members, and, when that guy lost his teeth, Loraine, a misjudgment in aim, in case you’re wondering, they come in fast, and scare the house holder, he lost his one, exactly, week later, by the same means, when Loraine met him, he was on parole, using Plenty of Fish to get laid, and he really, really, really, really, liked you Loraine, even more than he realized, but, over time, she proved herself as the girlfriend of a jail bird, and, I feel like it, Loraine, so I’m going to brag, again, to [ ] [ ], that, due to your openness to male bisexuality, her constant questioning, instead of a stony silence, and blogging in general, not about male bisexuality, but just herself, her dreams and what not--’

‘I heard about this. It was good, I heard. What about those screen plays did you feel compelled to reveal, Loraine?’

‘Oh, that’s tough. My memory. I like Molly Walker because she’s funny, in a self effacing way, and, to answer you question, she’s a perpetual victim, but she, does she always leave, God?’

‘She always leaves, Loraine.’

‘Will they use them?’

‘They are usable, everyone agrees about that, it’s just that they need an extreme amount of fleshing out, you will laugh--’

‘What was it?’

‘A prison salute. But I was saying, she got warrant officer and she couldn’t even, no thanks to any of you boys, teasing, of course, remember how to strip and assemble the rifle.’

‘Are you serious with this? She could strip and assemble the stoves.’

‘None was required.’

‘Oh yeah. We rode her, and she ate it up. She cared not about herself as a man, but respected herself as a woman, and when she went to the recruiting office, we all laughed at how quickly she bowed out, saying it seemed too hard. What did you think when I tackled you?’

‘You did it so gently, and I was so honored by your attention in this respect.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘It was a boy thing, and I was a girl, I guess, and I felt raised up in the eyes of others, I believe, since you’re asking me to pinpoint it, even to the extent of being aware of the younger cadets, and how cool I might look. You boys made my adolescence. I was never more happy than in those years.’

‘Really? What about school?’

‘Well, at the risk of being one of the girls who was seeking groups of men--’

‘You were in mechanics too. Did you screw there?’

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘Friendship came first,’ God explains. ‘And then, the men hadn’t the heart. Also, it never hurts to have an older brother and a cousin at the school. It doesn’t, Loraine.’

‘My sisters thought she was a slut, and you worried about that immensely at my house, didn’t you, Loraine?’

‘How the hell did you know that?’

‘Because you weren’t my girlfriend and we were a close knit family. Did you think my brother was better looking?’

‘I didn’t think about that.’

‘Really?’

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘She can't answer some of your questions, [ ] [ ], because her respect for you, and her affection for you was immeasurable, insofar as, When Harry Met Sally, men and women can be friends, and she realizes now that they can’t, and she must be reminded periodically, by getting in over her head with someone she doesn’t want--’

‘Is that what happened with [ ]?’

‘No. My God no. That was a beautiful connection and a huge crush, it’s just that, when we met, he had a girlfriend.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘He wasn’t a potential at first, and, just as an aside, a very pretty, bleach blond had eyes for him, too, and he disapproved of her flirtations with married men at work, he would have done better with her God?’

‘No, Loraine, she was slutting, and [ ] was a number.’

‘Was he with her?’

‘Sort of. They had a kiss.’

‘That’s why I couldn’t give you shit for [ ].’

‘Oh, my.’

‘That’s what I mean, Loraine, she never wronged anyone more than they wronged her, never, so don’t think you’re going to catch her up, because you won’t.’

‘Did you want to have sex with [ ]?’

‘Is it prostitution, 50?’

‘It is, Loraine, many women who never turn out, are constantly at the mercy of their attractions, and, one of the reasons that prostitutes are attractive is that they are self contained. And, to explain the hierarchy, your potential wife may be attracted to someone like me, but she will--’

‘What?’

‘Just as you were, and are, I would argue, attracted to a lower woman, a lower submissive in Loraine, higher women--’

‘What does all this mean? Higher, lower, I don’t understand.’

‘I would refer you to the blog,’ says God. ‘It’s illuminates very much of this, and even contains a perfect chart of the orientations, so, worry not, and hope for this woman, because--’

‘Does she know me yet? Do I know her?’

‘Let’s go there, Loraine, because he didn’t hear. [ ] [ ] is smarter than you. He is a five billion and, like you, he is a highest intellectual. Intellectuals--’

‘What’s this? I’m a what what?’

‘You, [ ] [ ], and you are not in touch with [ ] but he knows how to get in touch with you, and he may, he may, he may, want to discuss this very blog, because, he has earned it, Loraine, she posted something old about a cop and, failing to account for her experience with cops, plus the fact that she is never mean spirited--’

‘I know the one, where he feels the dick instead of the gun, how he answers is funny, that’s the funny part.’

‘Exactly. I am no cop hater, and I have every reason to be.’

‘Did they get around you?’

‘They tortured her, but she has yet to even have a cop for a client, which bugs her, because they took her down, she feels they should build her up, and they won’t, it’s a collective affection, and they don’t want anyone to have her.’

‘How did she get so fucking popular? She was popular.’

‘Yeah, but, it was our group, I wasn’t popular at large.’

‘Really?’

‘No.’

‘We got to know you well.’

‘I think so, and [ ] [ ] instilled the values of chastity among you, especially regarding me, because he wanted me to be different.’

‘I did.’

‘Why were you?’

‘My brother, I guess. He said not to be a slut, and the greatest devastation was the information that he had said, “I guess she’s a slut after all.”

‘Really?’

‘Yeah.’

‘You know that horrible sinking feeling?’

‘Yeah.’

‘She had that for years, [ ].’

‘Did you really sleep with [ ] again?’

‘In a car, in her car,’ says [ ]. ‘We were so hot that day, it was ridiculous, and I thought we would get back together but I wronged her by pushing the table at her and by believing gossip which was untrue.’

‘Why did you sleep with [ ]?’

‘Nothing short of idiocy. It was, and I don’t blame [ ] for his jealousy, girls are getting way to much attention and way too many options in male dominated arenas, a self fulfilling prophecy, it’s like his jealous lended value to [ ] which wasn’t there.’

‘You were pals.’

‘Recognizing that he was good looking perhaps lead to some guilt, but yes, I was, I must admit, flattered by his attention, but I should have been more disciplined as a warrant, than to chum around with a sergeant.’

‘[ ] was her best partner and she lost him.’

‘Back to me. Who is this girl? Do I know her? Have I fucked her? Because I’m popular too, Loraine, I use my mind to get girls, and they like it, [ ] [ ]--’

‘Let’s stop you there, she is a three billion and no where near the friend that Loraine was, she is not stupid but she was using men and you got caught up in her, too bad, let’s never make that mistake again, listen to me, you have done exactly what Loraine theorized, lived vicariously through women--’

‘Is that her latest?’ asks 50 Cent. ‘Because she is fucken right. She, is, fucken, fucken, fucken, fucken, right. I have seen this time and again, and I had no explanation for it. These guys will put up with anything, just so someone is having a decent sex life.’

‘Are you jealous of me with hookers, Loraine?’

‘No, proud.’

‘Why?’

‘Because women are getting away with murder.’

‘Amassing numbers.’

‘Yeah.’

‘And we can’t keep up. How do you explain yourself?’

‘This is where I lead you to the book. Loraine has been as good as she could be. Say “more,” Loraine.’

‘Yes, God.’

(more)

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