#repressed feelings | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neufer · 2 years

Text

Reread of The Hollow Boy!!

It took me a while to organize my thoughts, but here I am! You know the drill. I’ve finished rereading thb and have come to share my thoughts on the internet.

1. Out of the whole series, I think this book gives some of my favorite descriptions of the trio.

- “[Lockwood] was a picture of poise and unconcern. It’s how I want to remember him, the way he was that night: with horrors up ahead and horrors at our back, and Lockwood standing in between them, calm and unafraid.”

- “As always, peril suited [Lockwood].”

- “My name is Lucy Carlyle. I make a living destroying the risen spirits of the restless dead. I can throw a salt-bomb fifty yards from a standing start, and hold off three Specters with a broken rapier. I’m good with crowbars, magnesium flares, and candles. I walk alone into haunted rooms. I see ghosts, when I choose to look for them, and hear their voices, too.”

- “George, it had to be said, had been more of an acquired taste, being scruffy, acerbic, and renowned around London for his casual approach to the application of soap. But he was also intellectually honest, had boundless curiosity, and was a brilliant researcher whose insights kept us all alive. Plus -and this is the crucial point- he was ferociously loyal to his friends, who happened to be Lockwood and me.”

- “We were a total mess. We’d been up all night. We smelled of ectoplasm, salt, and fear. We looked at one another, and grinned. Then we began laughing. . . But that was just it. We weren’t hopeless. We were good. We were the best. And we never fully realized it until it was too late.”

2. Some of my other favorite descriptions/descriptive moments:

- “. . .Flo is the unwashed queen of the river. . .”

- “Superimposed upon it all, my face blurred in and out of view. I glimpsed the child I’d been when I first came down to London, and the operative I’d now become, a girl who spoke with ghosts. More than spoke: who knew their desires.”

- “There’s nothing like the onset of night to bring out the best in an agent, and for some of us the darker it is, the better. I’m talking visually here. Suddenly every embarrassing pimple is cloaked in shadow; jaws become firmer, waistlines sleeker. Unwashed faces become pale and interesting; the lankest of hair acquires a glamorous sheen. The rougher points of personalities recede too; thoughts turn to survival and to the job at hand. So it was with the ragtag band that Lockwood had assembled that evening. For once, as we stood beneath Aickmere’s tissue tree, our similarities outweighed our differences. Kipps and Lockwood, Kate Godwin and I -we were all made of the same stuff.”

3. The Lavender Lodge case has always been one of my favorite opening sections, because it shows the duality of Lockwood & Co:

- “Remember I said there was that moment of sweet precision, when we gelled perfectly as a team? Yeah, well, this wasn’t it. The rapier shot past, missing me by miles. It skidded halfway across the floor. The bottle struck Lockwood right in the center of his forehead, knocking him out the window.”

- “Lockwood, of course, could throw. I was already moving up the ladder. A small square object came spiraling straight up and over the central beam; down it came, landing right in my hand. Not even a fumble. Close by, George was slashing with his rapier, watching my back, carving coils asunder.”

4. A bit of personal info about me: I’m currently in college studying journalism and have a little bit of experience in the field. So reading the chapters that start with newspaper articles has been very enjoyable for me. For instance, I just know that the reporter who came up with the headline ‘Bed & Breakfast -And Murder!’ was absolutely delighted with themselves. I certainly would’ve been.

5. As always, I’d like to highlight the moments humor and sarcasm that stuck out to me most.

- “Pass me the ladder, George.” George waved his hands above his head in panic. “Where from? Down my trousers?”

- “It’s angry!” I gasped, ducking under a grasping coil. “I got a connection with the ghost! It’s angry about something!” “You don’t say?” High above, George raised his knees to avoid the thrashing tentacles. “Your sensitivity is amazing, Luce. How I wish I had your Talent.”

- “Kipps was red-haired, scrawny, and pathetically self-satisfied. For a variety of reasons, possibly connected to the fact that we often said this to his face, he had long disliked us here at Lockwood & Co.”

- “Are you going to listen to him?” the skull said. “I wouldn’t listen to him. If you want to make psychic contact with a killer ghost, why not? I say, Go, girl!”

- “Barnes may be grumpy,” Lockwood said, “but when I show him your findings, he’ll act soon enough. He knows how good we are.” He winked at us. “Don’t worry. I know we have our differences, but there’s a lot of mutual respect there. If he hesitates, I’ll sweet-talk him. He won’t let us down. . . “That total and utter idiot,” Lockwood growled. “That mustachioed imbecile. That benighted, blinkered jobsworth. He’s a clown! A fraud! An oaf! I hate him.”

- ‘George was surveying the room. “Yeah, don’t think much of the displays,” he said. “Some of these mannequins are hideous. . . . Oh -it’s you, Quill. I thought you were an exhibit.”’ I actually laughed out loud.

- “How’s the party going? Holly Munro grooving away?” “She’s eating her walnut salad with reckless abandon, yes.”

6. I’d like to take this moment to thank Stroud for throwing us some repressed Locklyle bones to go along with all of the angst.

- First, Lucy still wearing the silver necklace Lockwood gave her in tws and then using it during the Lavender Lodge case? Beautiful. I ate that shit up.

- “I smiled at him. There was a horror behind that door. I would see it in seconds. Yet my heart sang in my breast, to be standing beside Lockwood in that house. All was as it should be in the world.”

- Lucy makes such a habit of attributing her physical reactions to Lockwood to something else. “Lockwood, somewhere two floors above, would have a similar setup. I imagined him up there, standing alert and watchful in the dark. I felt a twist in my chest, pleasant and painful at the same time: probably indigestion from those stupid sandwiches.” 🤦‍♀️

- “I glanced at him -his eyes were bright, his face set, his long legs swinging beside mine. We were in step together, perfectly in sync. And in that moment the world around us dimmed and blurred. Tensions and disagreements fell away. Everything was simple. It was just us, together, chasing a giant helium balloon down a central London street. Everything was as it should be -back in it’s proper place. Perhaps Lockwood had had similar thoughts. He grinned at me; I grinned at him. A swell of joy rose in me. . .”

7. I wanted to talk about this next bit separately. It gets a little angsty, but trust me, there’s more to come. So, I think it’s safe to say that “Come off it. You know I’d die for you.” is one of the biggest lines throughout the whole series. I’ve found that it’s kind of hard for me to conclusively analyze it (perhaps that’s for the best). Over time, some of the discourse I’ve seen surrounding this particular line is that it played a key part in Lucy’s decision to leave, and it obviously doesn’t really display healthy behavior. I agree with this, but I think it’s also important to note a few things Lockwood says after that. Mainly, he talks about how he has to look out for Lucy because he can’t lose someone dear to him again. In my opinion, this is a very important moment for Lockwood, because it’s really the first time he opens up after showing Lucy and George Jessica’s room. He then goes on to say, “Under the anger and the sorrow, Lucy, I was just left feeling hollow. Because I should have been in the room. I should have been there for her. And it’s not going to happen again. Whatever the cost, as long as you’re in my company, be sure I’ll always be there for you.” And that’s the beauty and the tragedy of it, isn’t it? Because at the end of the day, Lockwood just wants to protect those that he loves. He just isn’t able to find the balance between loving someone by being with them and loving someone by being prepared to die for them.

8. While we’re on the topic of Lockwood, let’s take a second to appreciate some of the moments that made me go 😧🥰 at the same time.

- There’s of course saving Lucy from the ghost in the Wintergarden house. I’ve always loved the sentence, “Quite how Lockwood managed to leap so far, I never understood,” and for no real good reason, I just think it’s amazing. And the whole description of the moment as well, because you’re so in awe at Lockwood and so worried about him at the same time.

- The whole parade fiasco is amazing too. First, he throws his rapier to knock a gun out of the one guy’s hand (taking a page out of Lucy’s book, perhaps?). Then, he saves Ms. Fittes from a bullet by diving in front of her, using a plastic unicorn as a shield. And then, there’s this!! “[Gale] turned away from the edge and, in the same deftly casual movement, his rapier flicked up and jabbed straight out at Lockwood’s side. The action was so quick I didn’t fully comprehend it; nor the way Lockwood’s arm shot down to block the sword tip with his rapier guard. . . It gave me a chance to see how close the sword had been to slicing cleanly beneath the ribs. It would have traveled into his lungs and pierced his heart.” ????

- Nearly forgot about this: “Lockwood threw his rapier away; he stepped out of the circle. I saw him stagger as the wind caught him; his coat billowed up and outward. With an effort he kept his feet, leaped across the edge of the hole. Then he was beside us, grinning that old grin.”

9. Oh, you thought we were done discussing Lockwood? You thought we weren’t going to take this opportunity to transition into a discussion about his tragic childhood? Sorry, you’re wrong. Listen, it’s not as if I forget about how tragic (there’s really no better word to describe it) his backstory is. It’s always there, just in the back of my mind, and then BAM! I think about it too much and I get so emotional. Let’s break it down:

- Let’s begin with the fact that he’s even able to tell George and Lucy so much when he shows them Jessica’s room. Yeah, later on Lucy realizes that he left out some stuff, but, telling them about how she loved the smell of lavender? And that’s what he keeps in her room? 😭 He’s also able to admit that he wants to talk about it, it’s just too painful.

- Also wanted to point out this line: “But that’s too much like dealing with an ordinary Visitor -and she’s not that, George, she’s not ordinary. She’s my sister. Even if she does come back, I couldn’t use iron on her.” *cries*

- For some reason, I SOBBED when I read the bolded quote that I already mentioned in #7. I’ve never cried while reading these books, so I have no idea why, but it just hit me so much harder this time around. Seriously, that whole scene where Lucy tells him she went into the room and what he says in response? I was NOT well. (Oh yeah, and his parents being his first ghosts??? Way to slip that in there, Stroud😭)

- SPEAKING OF WHICH, I think it was SO heartbreakingly genius of Stroud to have Lucy accidentally experience the traces of Jessica’s death. Because from that, we get this: “For whenever I looked at Lockwood, so cooly contained and self-assured, the memory of that desperate little voice came rushing back, and set me squirming in my seat. Nor could I forget the echo of that little boy’s violent grief, the fury that had instantly avenged his sister and -years later, in his every action- continued to avenger her.” Like, fuck😭.

- One last little note. I think out of the entire series, this book incorporates it’s title the best. Because, as mentioned in the book itself, not only is the Fetch posing as Lockwood a ‘hollow boy,’ but Lockwood himself is a hollow boy. That’s literary genius.

10. We’ll take a little break from the angst for now. There are a couple really sweet found-family moments in the beginning that I really love. First: “Yes, we were overworked; yes, we lived in partial squalor. Yes, we risked our lives almost every night. Yet I was very happy. Why? Three reasons: my colleagues, my new self-knowledge, and because of an opened door.” It’s just so adorable to me. And then second (we won’t acknowledge what happens after this just yet): “Happiness bloomed inside me. This was what it was all about. Portland Row was home. My real family was here.” ❤️❤️

11. Kind of along the same line, I want to highlight George for just a moment. Not only is he an absolute genius in this book (I mean, he figures out what ‘the best minds in DEPRAC’ can’t, and that is just simply iconic), but he also perfectly exemplifies being the ferociously loyal friend Lucy describes him as.

- He has such good instincts throughout the entire book, and is really the friend that Lucy needs him to be. For instance, when Lucy misunderstands him and thinks he’s talking about her dislike for Holly when really he’s talking about her connection with the ghost Little Tom, he immediately asks her about Holly.

- He’s also just spot on, about pretty much all of Lucy’s problems. It’s pretty well recognized throughout the fandom that George knows everything, and this particular book shows that very well. Examples: “Were you feeling particularly abandoned or needy up there?” “Never good to bottle things up -is it, Lucy?”

- Then there’s of course this: “Leopold Winkman flipped his hat rakishly low across his eyes, spun on his shiny heel, and began to saunter away. His picture of serene progress was interrupted by George, who, whipping his rapier from his belt, stuck it diagonally between Leopold’s legs so that he tripped, lost his balance, and tumbled into a crowd. . .”

- And this (in regards to Lucy losing control of her Talent): “You mustn’t put too much emphasis on this. Things happen to all of us. I’m sure we can all support you going forward, and-” This in itself is just so ❤️, but it also made me really sad to think about what Lockwood says in tcs, which is George was pretty ‘cut up’ about Lucy leaving.

12. A few other things before we end with a discussion about all the drama.

- I really appreciate Kipps in this book. I can honestly say his character development is one of the best I’ve seen in any form of media, and I think we start to see a lot of it here. I sort of forget about the Kipps/Lockwood comparison that Stroud obviously alludes to, but it really shows in thb, like in this instance: “No matter what Barnes says, no one has a clue what’s going on in there. It’s a free-for-all, chaos every night, and it’s already cost me the life of one agent. It’s not going to cost me another. Nor do I want to sit quietly back, doing nothing. If you’ve got a worthwhile lead. I’ll work on it with you. That’s all.”

- Honestly, props to Lockwood for recognizing that the company was not ‘coping’ with being overworked. He could’ve handled hiring Holly and a lot of other stuff a lot better, but at least he was able to see that they needed help. Also, props to Holly for being like, ‘you know you guys can turn down clients, right?’

- While on a case by herself, Lucy says, “Slowly, insensibly, a malign atmosphere began to invade the room. . . Doubt rose in me; also anxiety and a strong feeling of self-loathing.” Good to know what I feel normally is what it feels like when a haunting starts. /j

13. And finally, the one pretty big thing I haven’t talked about. Yeah, that. So obviously, there’s a lot of tension, repressed feelings, miscommunication, and just overall drama in thb. While rereading it this time, I just kept thinking, ‘this is really complex.’ Lucy sort of addresses this: “The funny thing was, I still acknowledged the connection that Lockwood and I had made, the previous night, as we ran together side by side, and the rest of the world molded itself around us. It had been real, I didn’t doubt it. But what I did doubt was Lockwood’s ability to sustain that connection in any meaningful way.” I’ll elaborate more on that later. Right now, these are the moments that truly made my jaw drop and made me want to shrivel up in a hole:

- ‘“I saw him as he passed; he was running for his life. Don’t shrug at me like that! He was so desperate. We’ve got to feel sympathy for him.” That was a mistake -I knew it at once. A light in Lockwood’s eyes flicked out. His voice was cold. “Lucy, I don’t have sympathy for any of them.”’

- ‘“I’m just worried for [Holly’s] sake,” I said. “You felt the energy of the apparitions last night. She’s a novice at this. Look -she doesn’t even know how to attach a rapier to her belt. She nearly tripped over it then.” I allowed myself the smallest grin, saw Lockwood’s gaze on me, and looked away. “Well, you needn’t worry too much,” he said slowly, “because I’ll keep an eye on her. She can stand beside me in my circle. That’ll keep her safe. You’ll be alright, I know.”’

- ‘“I hope so,” Lockwood said, “or next time I’ll leave you behind.” “And what? Bring Holly Munro along instead?” He went all pale and silent then. “It’s up to me who I take and don’t take,” he said slowly, “but I sure as hell won’t bring anyone who jeopardizes the safety of other agents. If you want to spend the rest of the winter dealing with Cold Maidens and Stone Knockers on your own, just say the word.”’ *and that’s exactly what Lucy ends up doing💔*

- ‘“I’d like to make a final toast. We’ve all done well. But there’s one person who I feel should be thanked for their very special contribution.” [Lockwood’s] eyes met mine; I felt happiness run through me like syrup; even the tips of my toes felt warm and prickly. I was back in that moment during the chase. I hadn’t been mistaken. “Holly,” Lockwood went on. . .’ When I tell you this gets me every time. My stomach drops and I get such second-hand embarrassment.

- ‘“Lockwood asked me to come, didn’t he? It’s not my fault my Talent’s not as sharp as yours.” “Well, you could’ve always said no to Lockwood.” “Like you do?” She gave her trilling laugh.’ 😳

- ‘“But don’t pretend you’re so caring, Lucy Carlyle! I told you about what happened to me at Cotton Street, and you couldn’t have cared less!” “That’s not true! How dare you say that?” “Then why didn’t you show it, Lucy?” “Because. . . because the same bloody thing happened to me! I lost my team as well! They all died too! All right? It upset me!” “Well, I didn’t know that!” “Well, I didn’t ask you to know about it, did I? It’s my business!” “Like Lockwood’s past is your business too?”’ 😳

14. So yes, the complexity of the situation. The way I see it, it’s easy to see how both Lucy and Lockwood, and then Holly, are in the right and wrong at the same time. I’ll start with something that I always think of when I think of thb. So, I know that Lucy gets a notable amount of hate for how awful she is to Holly. And rightfully so; there are a ton of moments where Lucy’s inability to tolerate Holly is honestly annoying. However, I don’t think all of her behavior is unwarranted. Because listen, as someone who had like four good friends at the age of 15, I know how disorienting it is when someone new comes into the mix. That’s really the root of Lucy’s problems with Holly. Think about it. The last group of people she was really close with -her team under Jacobs- all died. She’s still able to form meaningful relationships with Lockwood and George, and doesn’t want it to change. She even voices her concerns, so yeah, it’s understandable why she’s upset. It doesn’t entirely excuse her actions, but, like I said, it’s complex. Which brings me to Lockwood. He (as well as Lucy) obviously has some very, very repressed feelings that he can’t even begin to work through. I think that’s important to note, as well as the past trauma he’s slowly working through. Something else I noticed: he’s really bossy when it comes to Lucy and her Talent in this book. I thought for a while about why that might be. He does mention at the end that her talent ‘makes her vulnerable’ and he ‘has to look out for her.’ So that definitely has something to do with it. But, I also think some of it might stem from the stress of wanting his company to be respected. Made me really glad I don’t have to worry about running a company while being an angsty teen. But, like with Lucy, that doesn’t excuse his actions. One last note, I think it’s so interesting how Lucy can go from describing working with Lockwood as the ‘rightful pattern of events,’ and having Lockwood’s voice being the one she wanted to hear ‘more than any other’ whilst below Aickmere’s, to leaving. It really puts the severity of the situation into perspective.

Whew, that was a lot. But, so is thb. I just have to say, despite all the conflict, I truly love this book. I always have. It took me so long to make this post that I’ve already read tcs, so maybe I’ll get that post up soon! I’m really looking forward to finishing this reread.

#lockwood and co #the hollow boy #lucy carlyle #anthony lockwood #george cubbins #The Skull #holly munro #jonathan stroud #angst #tension #repressed feelings #repressed englishman #this was so much

69 notes · View notes