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hey! i sent in the ask for the party fic with ethan (which was so good holy shit) and i was hoping you could do the SFW alphabet for him? can I be ⚙️ anon, as well? (get it?)
⚙️anon (thats so clever ily for it) , welcome !! im sorry this took me forever , but here’s your sfw alphabet - this came so easy to me i spend too much time consuming ethan content - anyway ! i really hope you enjoy this ((: reblogs are always appreciated <3
AYO LOOK AT THESE : soft , fluffy ethan content , no tws ! also , yall rockin with the new blog theme ⁉️
a = affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?)
ethan is incredibly affectionate in all senses of the word- big gestures, small moments, and everything in between. he brings you flowers or food quite often, just something small to show you that you were on his mind while he was out and about. you two would have a designated date night once a week where he’d clear his schedule to spend quality time with you; either taking you out to dinner or cooking and watching movies at home with spencer. also, ethan would definitely go out of his way to do little things around the house to help you out - washing the dishes, vacuuming, folding the laundry. however, ethan wouldn’t shy away from larger gestures of affection, either: he’d take you on surprise vacations or road trips for holidays or anniversaries.
b = best friend (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?)
being ethan’s best friend would be so much fun. he’s definitely the kind of guy that would send you a text when he was 10 minutes away from your house because he was bored and wanted to go do something together. you’d never be bored around ethan- he can talk for hours, and would 100% know how to make you laugh, even if the two of you were just chilling on the couch. a friendship with ethan would be filled with adventures; concerts, midnight snack runs, campouts in the backyard and lots of fun with spencer.
c = cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?)
yes, 100%. thinking back to unus annus, ethan was a vvv touchy guy with mark, and i think that would only be amplified with his significant other- touch is one of his love languages, for sure. he’d be the type to always have some soft of physical connection; a hand on your thigh while he drives, mindlessly drawing patterns over your skin while your working, aways holding your hand in public type beat. if ethan wasn’t getting your attention when he wanted it he, would not hesitate to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you to the closest soft surface before plopping you down and wrapping you in his arms. i think he’s probably a fan of having you laying on your side, facing him so that he can hold you, but still see your face/ talk to you. he’d also love laying on your chest because he’s such a boob guy but that’s a conversation for another time ,,,,,
d = domestic (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?)
i think that if you and ethan were committed and had been dating for a while than he would absolutely want to settle down- but i feel like dating ethan would also include being around each other all the time (constant sleepovers while you aren't living together) so it wouldn’t be that drastic of a change. while he was living on his own, though, ethan obviously had to take care of himself, so he taught himself to cook and clean and do general, domestic tasks. i think he’d be a really good partner when it came to things around the house like that; ethan would always do his fair share and would pick up anything that you needed him to.
e = ending (if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
ethan just comes off as a very feeling, sensitive person (his brand is literally soft boy what do u expect), so i think breakups would be really hard for him. he wouldnt break up with his s/o until he was 10000000% positive that it as the right choice, and had thought through it multiple times. even then, it would rip his heart out to end things- he wouldn’t be afraid to show his emotions. ethan would definitely break up with whoever he was dating in person- he knows that he owes them that.
f = fiance(e) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?)
okay, this one is up in the air for me. i definitely feel like ethan would settle down with his person and be completely loyal to them- thats a no brainer. i just don’t know how he feels about marriage? i feel like ethan wants a life partner, i just dont know if he would marry them. (this could 1792049384% be my personal bias peeking through because i think marriage is fkn weird, but for some reason i think he would too ????? maybe thats just me)
g = gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
ethan is just ,,,,, soft hearted, dude. he’s just gentle in general. i think emotionally he’s a total teddybear, and he feels all his emotions incredibly deep- he rules with his heart, for sure. he wants to make sure that everyone around him is happy, and if they arent, it would affect him more than he’d like to admit. physically, ethan can vary- like i said, he’s always touching you in some way, but i think he’d be down for getting a little rougher in bed when you guys want to.
h = hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?)
ethan is an envelope-the-whole-ass-person kinda hugger, hug-with-your-whole-body type deal. if you look at pictures from unus annus, even old old pictures from the tour he did w/ mark, ethan is always completely wrapped around someone, hugging them with everything in him. i think if his s/o was shorter, he’d love to stack his head on top of theirs, and if y’all were around the same height, he’d bury his face in your neck. he’s very huggy- when you’re out and about, he’s always hugging you from behind, pulling your body closer to his. i also think ethan would love koala hugs, where he was sitting and his s/o wraps their arms and legs around him- he’d sit like that forever, rubbing up and down your back.
i = i love you (how fast do they say the l-word?)
hhhhhhhhhh don't clock me for this one, yall- if ethan was feeling some type of way, he would tell you. i don't think the length of the relationship would matter as much to him as the intensity and depth of his feelings; if ethan really truly loved you and wanted to say it, he would. he’d definitely preface it with the fact that you didn’t have to say it back, that he just wanted to get it on the table and out of his head.
j = jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?)
ethan would be very secure in his relationships, and i think it would take a lot to get him jealous. however, when he was,,,,,,,, it wouldnt be pretty. like, at all. if it was a situation where someone was hitting on his s/o, he wouldn’t step in until you’d already tried to get them to leave you alone- not because he didn’t want to, but because he knew that if he did, it would get ugly. when he did step in, he’d start by saying something (not kindly worded, but to the point), and if that didn’t work i don’t think ethan would be above getting physical- he’s extremely protective of you.
k = kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?)
I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT AND I HAVE SO MANY THINGS I'D LIKE TO SAY SO THIS ONE’S GOIN IN BULLET POINTS , GANG
okay- ethan loves to kiss you. he just loves kisses- they feel so personal and intimate to him, and he kisses you all the time, everywhere
he’ll dip you and kiss you in the middle of the grocery store aisles, he dgaf
but i think his favorite spots for kissing you would be your forehead, your lips (duh), collarbones/shoulders, down your spine and on your inner thighs hngggggg
but it goes vice versa too
ethan wants ALL your kisses . all of them , everywhere
He’s such a sucker for you kissing his neck and you cant talk me out of that (:
l = little ones (how are they around children?)
cute. literally so cute. i think that ethan would love other people’s kids, but definitely doesn’t want any of his own- at least, not right now. however, with other people’s babies he is S O F T; he loves to hold them, and would absolutely offer to try and calm a crying baby down, rocking them and singing soft lullabies to calm their woes. i also think that he would LOVE toddler aged kiddos- like 3-6. he’d be cool uncle ethan, playing catch with them, taking them to the park, finding games to play and always letting them win. he’d totally try to teach them how to ride their bike, or how to do a cartwheel, or how to jump off the swings for maximum height. ethan would totally bring them a fun lunch at school or sneak the kid’s favorite candy over to them and eat it together in a secret spot.
m = morning (how are mornings spent with them?)
mornings with ethan would be slow and lazy and filled with golden light filtering in through the blinds. if he woke up first, ethan would be as soft as humanly possible in order not to wake you up & would sneak downstairs to make coffee and start breakfast for the two of you, sometimes bringing it up to surprise you with breakfast in bed. the two of you would spend an hour (at minimum) in bed together, waking up and peppering each other with soft pecks all over. i think ethan would be extra soft™ in the mornings- he’d be super cuddly and affectionate.
n = night (how are nights spent with them?)
nights spent with ethan would always hold a sort of unexplainable magic- there’s something about the thought of falling asleep next to him thats just so… comforting? he’d be so warm and easy to fall asleep with, all soft and hazy and gentle; he’d fall asleep holding you as big spoon, but when y’all woke up he’d be wrapped in your arms, laying on your chest. also, if you were having a hard time falling asleep, ethan would stay up with you, talking through whatever was on your mind even if he was barely able to keep his eyes open.
o = open (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
i think that ethan would open up more and more as the relationship progresses, going along with the natural advancement of things unless something happened that made it crucial for him to open up; if that did happen, though, you wouldn’t have to pry anything out of him. ethan is a pretty honest, open person and wants to be transparent with you always- trust is something that he values above all else and he wants to remain very truthful with you.
p = patience (how easily angered are they?)
ethan is incredibly patient and understanding- it would take a lot to truly upset him. sure, the two of you would get into little tiffs here and there about stupid things, but the small arguments would be resolved within the hour with lots of hugs and kisses and soft “im sorry”s. however, if yall managed to get into a big argument, i think it would take ethan a bit to calm down and he would want to put some space between you two while he did- not to anger you any further, but to make sure that he didn’t say anything he didn't mean. ethan has a bit of a temper while he’s angry, and he wouldn’t want to say anything just to hurt you out of anger. after he cooled off he would come back and be willing to re-examine whatever had caused the issue with fresh eyes.
q = quizzes (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
if you’ve watched ethan ever, you know that the sweet bby doesn’t remember shit (cue the instagram live thats purpose was to help him remember a word)- but listen. i think that ethan would go out of his way to hold on to little pieces of information about his s/o, and would put so much effort into trying to remember little details. he’d store them in his brain (things like your favorite flower, the brand of chocolate you like best, etc) and reference them when he needed.
r = remember (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
a couple moments would stick out to ethan - when y’all first met being his favorite. he’d remember every detail of the moment he was first introduced to you; what you were wearing, where you were, what y’all had been doing that night. it was something that he though about a lot, actually- he loved to reflect on the way you’d blushed as he’d introduced himself, how you’d hugged him at the end of the night.
s = security (how protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?)
ethan isn't possessive, but he is incredibly protective of you. he secretly hates whenever someone flirts with you, even if it’s strictly platonic- you're his s/o, and he doesn't want anyone thinking any different. like i said earlier (reference letter j), ethan wouldn’t be afraid to step in and put someone in their place of they were getting a little too friendly. he likes when you’re protective of him as well, even if its something very subtle to show that he’s spoken for, such as calling him a nickname or dropping a kiss on his cheek.
t = try (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
romantic ethan my belOVED- he would try so hard. ethan would plan surprises for you for weeks before they would unfold, even roping your family and friends into his schemes. He’d be so creative with date ideas too; picnics, art classes, different seasonal excursions around california. For bigger occasions like anniversaries, holidays, birthdays and all that, ethan wouldn’t hesitate to go bigger- i definitely think he would take you traveling. he wants to see the world with his love :,)
u = ugly (what would be some bad habits of theirs?)
ethan bites his nails, which is why he’d had you paint them- he’s trying to break the habit
he’s a very sweary human, but so are you; the only issue is he has no filter and accidentally swears in front of kids all the time lmao
v = vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)
eh. ethan is more particular about certain aspects of his appearance over others, but he’s generally well put together. he likes for his hair to look good, though- that’s the one thing that he’s picky about.
w = whole (would they feel incomplete without you?)
ethan is his own person and is able to function on his own, but the two of you have developed a sense of codependency with each other, like any couple does. he can’t see his life without you at all anymore, and would much rather have you around than not. the two of you have fallen into a flow together- you and him against the world. life is much easier when you have another person on your team, and he’s honored that he gets to play that role for you.
x = xtra (a random headcanon for them.)
(this may or may not be a lil hint to a fic i'm working on shshhshshhhhhhhh)
on the night unus annus ended, ethan was a wreck - rightfully so
he had a bit of an existential crisis , and started to spiral a bit
you were worried about him , and knew that he would just continue to get into his own head
so you got him out of bed
and took him on a v special date
thats all for now ;)
y = yuck (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
ethan wouldn't like smoking (nicotine), and if that was a habit that you were willing to budge on, he would really try to help you break it.
overall, ethan is a very considerate and kind person, so someone that was rude or had a sense of entitlement just wouldn’t fit well with him.
z = zzz (what is a sleep habits of theirs?)
ethan can’t fall asleep without background noise. his brain gets too loud when he’s just in bed in complete silence, for better or for worse; sometimes this leads to great video ideas or new concepts for the channel, but other times it just lead to him overthinking his life. when it was that kind of night, ethan would fall asleep to soft music or one of those white noise apps- then he became dependent on it to be able to fall asleep. something about filler noise managed to calm him right down and lull him to sleep, and he pays $5 a month for the premium version of his favorite white noise app.
i need you all to know that a) at this very moment my pants are full of fairy dust, and b) this is in no way, shape, or form a euphamism
Can you draw el chip?
One bag of chips, as ordered
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How about an MC who snuck their hamster into the devildom (maybe it was in their sleeve when they got teleported in) and has since been hiding it in various places on their person (in sleeves, pockets under their shirt, etc) and bringing it with them wherever they go?
the brothers react to MC keeping their hamster with them in the Devildom
(disclaimer: im a lizard person and i literally know nothing about hamsters so dont hate me if this is vague)
there's a good reason pets aren't allowed. his brothers like to ignore the fact that rules are in place for a damn good reason and they're enforced for a damn good reason.
that being said, hamsters are not allowed at RAD or most restaurants and cafes. there's also rules about going up to the human world and doing so just to put a hamster away is… ridiculous. he has better things to do, anyway, so he might as well just help you take care of it.
Lucifer won't lie, he is a little bit annoyed, but clearly the little beast makes you happy. he gets to work putting together a good habitat for the hamster because it might as well enjoy its stay in the Devildom. the little guy does grow on Lucifer and he will admit it's rather calming to watch the little beast run around and do hamster things.
pfft why would he care about you… or your hamster… or how cute it that you kept your hamster with you… or how cool it is that you have a hamster… he doesn’t care. why would he care. but can he pet your hamster? can he hold it? should he help you take care of it? stupid human, bringing a hamster to the Devildom. not that he cares
do not leave him alone with the hamster he will panic and worry too much about it and throw it at someone else. but he does do everything he can to keep it safe because it matters to you and so it matters to him. no, he is not a softie. be nice to him
Mammon is VERY impressed you hid it for so long, but he is not the person you want to trust with a secret like that, he will end up accidentally telling Lucifer and that’s a whole can of worms. he would try, however, to smuggle whatever he possibly can into the house for the hamster to be comfortable. there are better things to spend his money on, but for you…
the first thing he does is joke that the hamster would’ve been a fine meal for Henry 1.0, the snake. then he gets way too attached to the hamster and vows to protect it with his life and suggests you rename it Henry 3.0.
he is… not the most attentive pet owner. there’s a reason his pets are animals who thrive best without human contact. he will get too absorbed in his video game or his show and he will forget the hamster exists. if the hamster can deal with being ignored essentially all day, then by all means, Levi is a great choice to take care of your little furry buddy if you’re busy
he does get obsessed with the hamster and he does lose his mind over how cute you are and how cute your hamster is and how cute it is that you hid it for so long… he’s ok just give him a second to cry about it
oh boy, an act of rebellion against Lucifer! Satan has a soft spot for fur babies and he’d be more than willing to harbor the hamster. he's the most responsible one when it comes to pet care, he’s read books about this, he can handle it.
he’s the one you want to ask to assemble a good hamster habitat. he knows exactly what to get and where to get it. he has hidden many a cat from Lucifer, and he will hide your hamster, too. it’s a skill he prides himself on
the only downside is that he has very little experience with hamsters, so he does not understand anything about the little dude’s actions and is liable to get bit. he would do his best not to get upset over it, but you dare BITE Satan? you bite Satan on the hand? jail for hamster! jail for hamster for One Thousand Years
Asmo, like Levi, absolutely loses his mind over how adorable you are and how much he loves your hamster. he’s not a pet kind of guy, really, but you’ve convinced him that he should adopt your hamster <3 now he has joint custody. good luck trying to get that hamster back
he would ask Satan for help taking care of it. he knows he’s not suited to take care of the little beast and he would try to learn as much as he could for your sake (and the hamster’s). he admires you for the patience and kindness it takes to care for a pet and he just adores you. it’s so easy to love you, in his defense, you’re so beautiful and he just so happens to like beautiful things
Asmo would help you hide it from Lucifer, if you asked. he’s pretty good at hiding things from Lucifer, and he’d do anything for you <3 so long as the hamster isn’t living in his room. that’s too much. his room is perfect the way it is and he doesn’t want to risk a hamster ruining that
Beel can and will do everything he possibly can to keep your little furry friend safe. he doesn't care how it got there or why and he doesn't share your worries. hampster…….. little friend. little buddy man. personal mascot who never fails to motivate him.
he's going to feed the hamster too much. he's going to worry the little guy is hungry and he's going to feed him WAY too much and then you’re gonna have to deal with an unhealthy hamster. do not ask him to babysit (hamstersit?) the hamster
honestly, there's no guarantee he won't get hungry and eat it. thing’s just a little furry snack. not that he would do that to you, he can see how much you care about it and he Gets it
he's allergic to shedding animals, actually, which is one of the many reasons cats aren't allowed in the house. he adores your hamster and admires how long you managed to hide it from Lucifer, but he can’t try to cuddle with it (or you, after you've cuddled it) because he WILL start having an allergic reaction.
it's not serious, really, it's just bothersome. having to sneeze every three minutes kind of makes it hard to nap. he’ll do what he can to help you hide and care for the hamster, so long as it doesn't take too much time away from sleep and doesn't make his eyes itchy.
Belphie would be ALL OVER that little dude if the little dude wasn't covered in allergens. he is the last person you should ask to take care of your hamster because he will shirk the responsibility onto Beel in favour of getting some sleep, but he does love your hamster
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Can you send aak from arknights to hell for having no phd and being super nonbinary, adding him his bf hung would be cool!
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high speed car chase + loubbie? xxx
Fuck, fuck, fuck. Lou looked behind her trying not to panic as she set a brisk pace through the casino.
“This is the second bloody bike I’ve lost this month,” she grumbled under her breath as she ran.
There were two security guards on her tail and an angry croupier shouting.
“Here you go, love,” Lou smiled, shaking a pocket of poker chips out onto a nearby table to a very confused man.
She kept running, weaseling her way through a throng of people gathered around the slot machines, dumping more chips into some lucky person’s bucket of quarters.
She thought about losing the jacket, but leaving it behind might help more to track her down than help them lose their trail tracking her. She had to start wearing flatter boots though.
The Australian was panting now, but she had the pre-rigged emergency exit door in her sight of vision. Almost there.
Her jog turned into a straight race, barreling towards the exit, breaking through the door and stampeding down the alley way. She had no idea if they were following her, but she had to get off the street just in case.
She started down the strip, walking now to look less suspicious, but still keeping a brisk pace as she scanned the street. Some drunken idiot had to have kept their car unlocked, self parking on the Vegas strip instead of doling out the money for a valet. Not that it would help them keep a sturdy wallet later with all the gambling temptations around.
She walked closer to the curb starting to try doors, playing with the knife in her pocket.
Lou smirked with delight as she found one, letting herself in the passenger side and clambering over to the opposite side with clambering legs. She took out the knife and attempted to rig the startup engine, cursing when it didn’t work. These fucking new cars. She let out a quiet “oh, bugger” and let herself out the driver side, throwing her hands up in the air before looking back towards the direction of the casino. Now what.
She looked down the street trying to think and caught a silver sports car speeding down the street quite haphazardly. For some reason, it stopped next to the car Lou had just exited and the window rolled down to reveal an attractive brunette, expensive-looking pin straight hair shining in the Vegas lights, dark eyes popping against olive skin.
“What?” Lou laughed.
“I see you looking around like you’re being followed,” she shrugged. “Get in.”
“I don’t even know—“
“Get in, Blondie!” She spoke more urgently and Lou felt a sudden pull to go with her that she couldn’t shake.
Lou took a step towards the car reluctantly.
“Bowie, I haven’t got all night!” She yelled. “Get in the car. You’re not the only one being followed!”
“Alright, alright!” Lou yelled back. “Slide over, honey.”
The woman gave her an incredulous look but leaned over to climb into the passenger seat, traffic swarming around them. Lou couldn’t help stealing a glimpse of her cocktail dress-covered ass, red thong peeking out as the woman settled into the passenger seat.
“Come on Batman,” the woman waved her over.
Lou sat down in the driver’s seat and looked over at the mysterious woman as she closed the door. She revved the engine twice and smiled with glee at the car’s glorious purr.
“Where to, madam?” She asked, eyes blazing as she shot forward.
“Just keep fucking driving as fast as you can,” the brunette instructed. She looked behind them quickly and cursed. “And be prepared to throw a half a dozen other guys off.”
“Up to no good?” Lou smirked, her eyes on the road. She didn’t know who the woman was running from, but there were a couple cars following them closely she didn’t like the look of, so she decided to take it upon herself to swerve in and out of various alleys and start heading them out towards the desert.
“Little of this, little of that,” the woman replied, sharing a smirk of her own.
“What’s your name?”
“What’s your real name?” Lou snorted.
Lou looked at her sideways, studying her for a moment.
“As in Deborah?” She asked slowly, trying to piece something together.
“Maybe,” Debbie shrugged.
“Ding ding ding,” she sang. “Damn. I never thought I’d hear someone say my name like that without the phrase ‘convicted felon’ following closely behind.”
“Am I about to drive out just in time to miss the city’s grid going out or something exploding?”
“No,” Debbie laughed. “I got myself into this shit all on my own this time. Danny’s handiwork nowhere to be found.”
“Well, that’s a relief,” Lou laughed. “I think he’s pretty sloppy for a conman.”
“And you’d know this how?” Debbie asked, pointing out a roadblock to Lou before looking back at her.
“Lou Miller,” the blonde grinned, offering a hand out as she drove with one hand, speeding down the highway, weaving in and out of cars.
“Ah,” Debbie nodded, suddenly understanding. “Alleged jewel thief and expert card counter. Your reputation proceeds you. Have to be honest. I thought you were a man.”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“I’m thrilled, actually,” Debbie laughed. “I generally prefer a woman in my bed, especially after a death-defying car chase.”
“Well, I also have a dick if that’s occasionally your thing,” Lou chuckled. “But it’s detachable.”
“Most definitely duly noted,” the brunette laughed again, throwing your head back. Lou was smitten. She wanted to keep making Debbie laugh like that. And she had plenty of ideas up her sleeves to get her to throw her head back like that again.
Debbie’s line about preferring a woman in her bed had sent tingles through Lou’s underwear and the adrenaline pumping through her veins was no longer the thrill of a chase and mores the lust and excitement and intrigue she was feeling because of the woman next to her.
“I think we lost them,” Lou breathed, watching Debbie let out a long breath as she glanced to the side. “Want me to keep going?”
“If you don’t mind,” Debbie nodded. “At least over the state line. But if you wanted to go further, I have another job to run on my list if you want to come along.”
Debbie looked over hopefully, biting her lip in anticipation.
“Honey, I’d follow you anywhere,” Lou grinned. “Hope you’re based in New York as well, love. I have a lot of questions to ask you.”
“I might be able to provide you with some answers,” Debbie murmured. “With some convincing, of course.”
“Oh, of course,” Lou smirked at her, before whipping her head back towards the road and rolling down the window, their hair flying. “The world isn’t gonna know what hit ‘em.”
Hwyy, how about an enhypen mtl as vampires most likely to have a human partner? Cuz u know vampires don't usually have human companion and also they live very long lives.lots of lop.
a/n : yeah ofc ! thanks for requesting <3
warnings ! mention of blood , vampires
most ! jay + jungwon , i feel like both of them have done it before, having human partners, so it wouldn’t be something new to them. they would be able i guess control their lust for blood? , like for their s/o specifically they would switch to animal blood or blood bags.
neutral ! sunghoon + heeseung , they wouldn’t necessarily be all for it, but maybe if their human s/o is someone special they want to keep in their life they would give it a shot
least ! sunoo ni-ki + jake , poor things wouldn’t want to risk the persons life, it wouldn’t matter how much love they carry for them they wouldn’t want to put their lives at risk with the cons that come with having a vampire s/o
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High Tensions (MGG Request)
Request: could i request some matthew angst about y’all getting into a heated argument and you don't talk to each other for a day, but you make up in the end? Thank you!
A/N: Thanks for the request, anon! I haven’t written an angst/fluff before really so this was def a change of pace. For a long while I was like what would MGG and reader argue about that would cause them to not talk to each other for a day??? What I wrote was what I thought was an argument that could arise, so I hope you like it! Also I kinda did stick to my due date for this fic because it’s technically still 6 p.m. est just a few minutes over. It’s the small victories. Happy reading 🥳
Category: Angst to fluff
Content warning: Swearing, mention of possible cheating
Word count: 3.1k
You were putting away the dishes in the kitchen to alleviate the thoughts on your mind. Many thoughts piled in your mind for the past few weeks you could no longer ignore. You felt as if you no longer knew the man you loved for nearly four years.
Matthew was once again away finding inspiration in a different state without you. You understood he had his creative compass to explore and you never would hinder him from following it. However, it felt as if he never wanted you to be with him anymore outside of where you both resided.
It was hard watching him leave so often and not come back for weeks on end. He never asked you to come along anymore as he did earlier on in your relationship. You felt as if you were holding him back from his creative freedom. So much so he had to leave you behind or at least you suspected.
You knew once he got home you would voice your feelings after concealing it for months. You were curious, anxious, upset, and more emotions bubbled within you to the point of nearly feeling numb. You were starting to feel as if you were a burden to him. If this was how he felt, you would rather him say it to your face rather than leaving for New York, Vegas, and South Carolina and leaving you behind to deal with his heavy absence.
You stacked the last dish in the cupboard and closed it. Now you had no more dishes to help distract you from the reality you were faced with. As soon as he walked through the door, you were going to confront him. You were finally going to let all your feelings of frustration and anger spill out to him with no holds barred.
You heard the door unlock and your legs automatically felt weak. You slowly made your way towards the hall which lead to the front door but you stopped in your tracks. You heard the him approaching the kitchen. His steps felt as if they were lightyears away. You could feel your palms sweating in anticipation.
As you saw him walk into the kitchen, you froze. He stopped as soon as he saw you out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head towards you with a small smile plastered on his face but his eyes were full with worry when he realized you weren’t smiling back.
He turned fully towards you and opened up his arms to embrace you in a hug. You believed it was an attempt to bring a smile back on your face but you couldn’t hug him back. Your arms stayed at your side as he hugged you tight to him.
“Hey, why the frown? I was hoping to see your beautiful smile when I got home,” he said.
He slowly started to let go of you when he didn’t feel your arms embrace him with the same enthusiasm. His smile had faded as his whole face turned to full out concern. He grabbed you gently by your upper arms to look at you closely. His eyes narrowed as he took in your expression of dismay.
“What’s wrong?” He asked.
“Why didn’t you ask me to go to New York with you…again?” You asked.
He furrowed his eyebrows as you asked him your question. He let go of your upper arms and almost seemed to relax at your question as if it wasn’t an important question. It angered you to see him relaxed about a question you wanted answers to.
“I thought you were busy with work. We can go to New York whenever we can if you’re not busy,” he said.
“I wasn’t busy with work, you just never asked,” you said.
His furrowed eyebrows went into a flare as he seemed shocked at you biting back so harsh to his explanation. You weren’t willing to hold your tongue any longer. You wanted to put on a brave voice to let him know you were serious even though you could feel your inside shaking and tears stinging your eyes.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. You’re right, I should have asked. I promise it won’t happen again,” he said.
“This has happened more than once. You haven’t asked me to come with you on any leisurely trip for a year,” you said.
“Y/N, it’s not as if I do it on purpose. The first few times I went away were for business, the other few times you were busy,” he said.
“And what about the other times? I know my schedule, I know your schedule and there are times when we could have gone anywhere together, so why go by yourself? Do you not want to spend time with me?” You asked.
“I think you’re overthinking this. I’m not doing this on purpose,” he said.
“So, why do you leave so often? Do you not want me around you when you’re away? I get you have to find inspiration out there but it feels as if I’m repressing you somehow,” you said.
He looked at you as if you were talking to him about foreign subjects. You raised your arms in almost begging way to hear something comforting from him. The next words out of his mouth did the complete opposite of what you hoped.
“It’s not a big deal,” he said.
“Not a big deal? What if I just got up randomly every so often and left you to explore the whole fucking USA to find some inspiration or at least that’s what you’re telling me,” you said.
You could see in his face he was already over the conversation. He sighed in annoyance as he tried to restrain his frustration on his face. You could feel your hands shaking as you could see how dismissive he was about how you felt. It looked as if he thought you were wasting his time.
“Y/N, this is just getting out of proportion. I know I leave here and there but nothing’s going on other than work and strictly work. I don’t have to drag you along everywhere I go. If you want to come along, you’re more than welcome to but you make no indication you want to, so I don’t know what you want me to do about that,” he said.
“I want you to act as if you fucking care like you did before,” you screamed.
The tears stinging your eyes started to pour down your cheeks. You couldn’t restrain your anger any further. As soon as he saw the tears escape your eyes, he tried to reach out his hand sympathetically to you and tried to touch your face to wipe your tears. You swatted it away and backed up from him to create a noticeable space between the two of you.
“Y/N, I didn’t know this was such a big deal to you but it’s not my fault entirely why you never come with me. It’s not like I don’t care for you, I do but you bring it on yourself to always expect me to invite you along to places you don’t seem interested in going to. I can only assume so much,” he said.
“This just sounds as if you’re making up an excuse for your actions. You know I would go anywhere with you in a heartbeat but for some reason you’re distancing yourself and I just want to know why,” you cried.
He stepped towards you with open arms to try and bring you in for a hug to settle you down. You again swatted his arms away from you. He retracted them with a look of defeat on his face. He sighed again in frustration and took a moment to compose himself before replying to you.
“You always do this. You get into the habit of thinking the worst and there’s noting wrong. I can only go so far to explain myself and assure you everything’s fine but if you’re just not going to accept it than that’s not my problem,” he said.
“What do you expect me to think when I’m here for weeks alone? I would never do this shit to you. All I wanted to do was voice my feelings and you’re completely invalidating them,” you said.
“I get that but you’re blowing it out of proportion. Maybe once you get your head straight we can talk more about it but right now you’re crying and yelling isn’t going to help you think straight,” he said.
“Maybe if you actually made me feel as if you still cared this wouldn’t happen but obviously there’s something not connecting with us anymore,” you said.
“These dramatics are just getting outta hand. I’ve said my piece, Y/N. I think I’m going to go for a drive to let you cool down a bit and then when I come back we can have an actual discussion,” he said.
You heaved in your breaths as you tried to hold yourself back from telling him to just go. You thought you were ready to confront him about what you felt was an open and closed situation but your overwhelming self-doubt poured out statements you knew got his blood boiling. He tried his best to keep a calm tone with you. He really did try but he reached a point where he had to talk to you sternly.
You wiped your tears with the back of your hand as you looked at his once concerned face turn into a neutral expression. He seemed done with the conversation. The only thing he stood in front of you waiting for was a go ahead for him to go again. You felt as if you were back to square one with him leaving to free himself from you but this time you could confirm it.
“I just want to believe you still care,” you choked up.
He opened his mouth to respond to what you said but you didn’t feel as if you had the strength to hear whatever he was going to say. You brushed past him to go down the hallway towards the stairs and ran up them to throw yourself on the bed.
You couldn’t take standing in front of him sharing your feelings when nothing was coming to a conclusion. You knew sometimes your emotions could get the best of you and it could lead to you being absurd in your conclusions but to see him deflect any real concern was gut wrenching. If he cared as he said he did, his actions would speak louder than his words.
You crawled onto the bed to lay your face down in the pillow to let all your emotions out. You felt as if the one person who could understand you, didn’t anymore. You felt as if he had no energy left in him to connect with you. No matter what he told you it felt as if he was saying it in a way to spare you from a harsh reality. Maybe you two had just burned out each other.
You heard the front door open downstairs. You could feel your heart shake from within you as you heard it shut. He had left you on your own again with your thoughts. You’d at least thought he would yell to you where he was going or yell a ‘see you later.’ You knew he left to give you some space but space was the last thing you desired from him. You needed him as close as possible to feel loved again.
Your thoughts were pushed aside when you heard your phone vibrate from the night side table. You didn’t move your head from the pillow. You just let your arm stretch out to search for your phone on the table. Once you located it, you brought it towards the front of the pillow and peaked up to see who was trying to contact you.
You saw it was a text message from Matthew. You eased your head up a bit more to unlock your phone to see what he had to say to you. It was a shock to you he even texted you so soon after leaving. You were anxious to see what he had to get off his chest so soon. However, the anxiety you felt was slightly lifted when you opened his message.
Y/N, I’m truly sorry to have been so absent and nonchalant to you and your feelings for so long. It pained me to see you in tears trying to explain how I made you feel as if I didn’t care anymore. I still am deeply in love with you and care about you. My answer was the honest truth about my travels but there were a few flaws of my own I failed to admit in fear of hurting you. I promise it’s nothing serious, it’s just my own stupid ignorance. I’m going to run some errands and visit a friends place before coming back home, so we both have a clear headspace by the time I come back. I love you so much.
You started to feel new tears welling up in your eyes as you read his message. Reading it gave you some relief to resolving your issues. He didn’t seem as if he wanted to argue with you any further. He genuinely wanted to talk with you later when you both cooled down.
You plopped your phone on the bed as you turned your head side ways to let yourself breathe freely. You let the tears run down your face as some doubts still danced around in your mind. There was always a possibility he would come back with a change of heart and realize he no longer wanted to be with you because the flame is no longer present. Or what you hoped for was him coming back to you to work things through.
As you felt your eyes get heavy with weary drowsiness, you thought about the last time you two went somewhere together. It was to Cannon Beach, Oregon a year and four months ago. The sky was beautifully painted in blues and oranges as the sunset over you two. It was a memory you hoped you two could experience once again soon.
You felt someone gently rubbing your arm. Your heavy eyes tried their best to open fully but the weight of your past tears were weighing them down even more. What you could see was Matthew sitting on the bed and it was definitely his hand on you.
As you opened your eyes even further, you could see the bedroom light was on. You glanced out the window to see it pitch black outside. You realized you had been asleep for quite sometime if the last sky you saw was bright blue.
You then noticed a grande Starbucks cup on the night side table. Your nose soon picked up on the smell of your favourite tea. You moved your eyes to look up at him. He stared at you with soft eyes and a faint smile.
“Your eyes are so red,” he whispered.
You could tell by his tone he felt horrible. You knew he hated seeing you upset and even more so if he had any involvement with it. You casually shrugged your shoulder.
“It happens. I think tea will do just the trick to cure puffy, red eyes,” you joked.
“I thought you would enjoy something hot and comforting. I know you drink a lot of tea whenever you’re trying to cheer yourself up,” he said.
“We’ve been together that long huh? You just know me so well,” you said.
“Of course I do. I should also know myself and habits good enough as well to know I just pick up and go on a will without even considering how that may affect you and I’m sincerely sorry for doing that to you. I’m sorry I couldn’t articulate that earlier but I guess I was more in defence mode than flaw acceptance mode,” he admitted.
You leaned up on your elbow so you could get a better look at his face. You could tell how sorry he truly was by how glossy his eyes were. Whenever you were going through anything hard or anything that made you sad, he felt for you deeply. It showed you he still cared and wanted to take responsibility for his actions.
“I’m sorry for blowing it out of proportion. I shouldn’t have assumed things off the bat but it’s hard when you just get up and go without considering how it made me felt,” you said.
“I know and I promise to do better. I just thought since we’ve been together so long it was okay to go about our separate lives as long as we always came back to each other but I guess that’s kinda flawed thinking huh?” He said as he stroked your cheek.
“Just a bit but I get what you’re saying. I just wish sometimes you would think about asking me to go with you on your adventures for inspiration. I would love to be apart of that world,” you said.
He smiled. “Funny you should say that.”
He took his hand away from your face and reached over to wear your tea stood. He lifted it and grabbed two pieces of paper from underneath it. He flashed them to you to show you what they were. Your eyes widened as soon as you saw they were two tickets to Cannon Beach, Oregon.
“We’re going back?” You asked.
“You bet. When I was driving around I realized I wrote Rumple mainly when we were there enjoying the scenery and each other’s company. I think I’ve been ignoring my biggest inspiration all this time,” he said.
You broke out into a wide smile as soon as he said that. It felt amazing to hear him say those words after spending months wondering if you were the reason his inspiration was dying. It turned out to be quite the opposite considering he was looking in the wrong places.
He leaned down and kissed you gently on the lips. You missed the feeling of his lips all day even though you were angry with him for most of it. There was something overly comforting about the way his lips could reassure you about how much he loved you.
“We leave in two days. Let your job know its a non-negotiable vacation,” he said.
“I’ll call them first thing in the morning,” you said.
He smiled as he kissed you again. “I love you, Y/N.”
“I love you too, baby.”
Tagged: @shadyladyperfection @slutforthegubes @pinkdiamond1016 @spencerreidsthings @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @slutforsr @bxtchboy69 @fallinallinmendes @haihappen5 @mgg-theprettiestboy @siltuz-png @ptrs-prkrs @agentadhd @fanofalltheficsx @alexmarie29 @closetedreidstan @mac99martin @dinsprettygirl @multixfandomwriter @reidbuck @corishirogane3 @thegoddamncrazycatlady @pastelbabygirl19 @shadybagelsludgecolor @bootycrackraisinjuice @vintagebeauty1496 @laneybobeczko-g @littlewierdalien @cynbx @calm-and-doctor @muffin-cup @jessalyn-jpeg @princesssmooshie @solitarypeachh
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uhm, hi! could i possibly get a orange and green ignatz stimboard with painting, glassblowing, and wax seal stims? it’s totally okay if you decline this, by the way!!
Helllo! This is queued for you! Claude worked on it, but I'm posting so we don't keep requests all backed up..! There weren't a lot of glassblowing stims but I hope this is alright regardless!
hey ! I've read like almost all your blog n I love it 😭 ! are you taking requests at the moment ?
Hi there Anon! 😊 It always brighten up my day when I get messages like this, I’m so happy that you’ve enjoyed my blog that much that you’ve read almost all of it! - Guess I’ll have to write quicker so you can enjoy mor elf my stuff then ⭐️ - I am indeed taking requests!
If you want something from the flowers series/event that I’m doing, you can find it here, your more then welcome to request something flower related and then something else - like the thing you originally had in mind - or I’m open for questions that you have about the anime + manga 😁 I hope this makes sense! I look forward to you requesting
P.S. If you’d like, when you request you could even suggest an anon nickname for yourself! That way when you request again or ask a question and end it with the nickname I can know it’s from you
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Nier: Replicant, Devola & Popola caps
Limited to one scene so far since I’m still going through the game myself. These are screencaps of Devola and Popola from Nier: Replicant, all 3840x2160. If there are any issues, please feel free to let me know!
Folder can be found [ here ]
Buy me a [ kofi ] if you’d like!
Question!! Do you write ed? (Eating disorders, specifically Anorexia?) if not that’s perfectly okay bc I understand it’s a touchy subject!!
(feel free if you don’t wanna answer this :))
Hi! Unfortunately no sorry I don’t write ed since I’m afraid I won’t do it right and may offend a lot of people. In regards to touchy subjects, the most I’d write about is probably anxiety/panic disorders since I have it myself.
Thank you for asking so kindly xx
id love to see haanit and alfyn! those two are my favorites! (not as a ship) thank you, and your art is great!
thank you for the kind words and for requesting them!!!! it's always fun to draw alfyn and h'aanit :D
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in 79 (?) days i'll be 20. what the fuck.
May you gif Anne Boleyn from The Tudors in Henry's first dream, where she's wearing that gold dress and then is naked?
here! i don’t gif nudity or nsfw scenes, but i did do her in the gold gown
Deliah from I Didn't Do It for bi crimes, ace crimes, and being-from-a-severely-underrated-kids-show crimes
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hi! could I get some purple nonbinary sayori (ddlc) icons? square if possible :D
Hii!! Of course, you can!! I love Sayori sm!! 🥺💓tried making them purple, but I don’t know if I did it how you pictured... I hope you still like them tho!! ^^
- mod nao
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can i get an enderman stimboard and self care kit? if you can't do both, one is fine too!
just no cutting soap/other things, please
hi! im sorry, but requests are currently closed!! but feel free to send this again when I open back up which should be in a day or so :)
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Purple(ish) nonbinary Sayori icons for @moon-chai-shini
Feel free to use with credit
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