@emotionahls on twitter
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The more you know and respect yourself, the more impact you will have on people around you.
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Yes, your boundaries are still necessary even with people who do nice things for you or are really nice to you. I know sometimes when someone is really kind to you or you feel like you don't deserve the kindness you get from someone, it makes you want to violate your own boundaries out of gratitude for them or because you're afraid it will make them treat you differently. But in the long-term, this is only more harmful. Your boundaries are not an act of unkindness and are always relevant. And people treating you with respect and kindness is the bare minimum you deserve from others. Don't let someone's kindness or favours or respectful treatment make you abandon your self-worth and your needs to please them.
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it is okay to say no to someone...
even if they will be disappointed
even if you love them
even if saying yes will make them happy
even if you saying yes will help them out
even if saying yes is “not a huge burden”
even if you are scared of an adverse reaction
even if they might try to push
even if you think you owe them something
even if they have never said no to you
even if you think its rude to say no
it is okay to say no to someone.
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“I feel profoundly alone, cut off, unattractive. I feel unloveable. But I respect that unloveable soldier, struggling to survive, struggling to be honest, just, honourable. I respect myself.”
As Consciousness is Harnessed to Flesh
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From Anthony Bourdain:
Americans love Mexican food. We consume nachos, tacos, burritos, tortas, enchiladas, tamales and anything resembling Mexican in enormous quantities. We love Mexican beverages, happily knocking back huge amounts of tequila, mezcal, and Mexican beer every year. We love Mexican people—we sure employ a lot of them.
Despite our ridiculously hypocritical attitudes towards immigration, we demand that Mexicans cook a large percentage of the food we eat, grow the ingredients we need to make that food, clean our houses, mow our lawns, wash our dishes, and look after our children.
As any chef will tell you, our entire service economy—the restaurant business as we know it—in most American cities, would collapse overnight without Mexican workers. Some, of course, like to claim that Mexicans are “stealing American jobs.”
But in two decades as a chef and employer, I never had ONE American kid walk in my door and apply for a dishwashing job, a porter’s position—or even a job as a prep cook. Mexicans do much of the work in this country that Americans, probably, simply won’t do.
We love Mexican drugs. Maybe not you personally, but “we”, as a nation, certainly consume titanic amounts of them—and go to extraordinary lengths and expense to acquire them. We love Mexican music, Mexican beaches, Mexican architecture, interior design, Mexican films.
So, why don’t we love Mexico?
We throw up our hands and shrug at what happens and what is happening just across the border. Maybe we are embarrassed. Mexico, after all, has always been there for us, to service our darkest needs and desires.
Whether it’s dress up like fools and get passed-out drunk and sunburned on spring break in Cancun, throw pesos at strippers in Tijuana, or get toasted on Mexican drugs, we are seldom on our best behavior in Mexico. They have seen many of us at our worst. They know our darkest desires.
In the service of our appetites, we spend billions and billions of dollars each year on Mexican drugs—while at the same time spending billions and billions more trying to prevent those drugs from reaching us.
The effect on our society is everywhere to be seen. Whether it’s kids nodding off and overdosing in small town Vermont, gang violence in L.A., burned out neighborhoods in Detroit—it’s there to see.
What we don’t see, however, haven’t really noticed, and don’t seem to much care about, is the 80,000 dead in Mexico, just in the past few years—mostly innocent victims. Eighty thousand families who’ve been touched directly by the so-called “War On Drugs”.
Mexico. Our brother from another mother. A country, with whom, like it or not, we are inexorably, deeply involved, in a close but often uncomfortable embrace.
Look at it. It’s beautiful. It has some of the most ravishingly beautiful beaches on earth. Mountains, desert, jungle. Beautiful colonial architecture, a tragic, elegant, violent, ludicrous, heroic, lamentable, heartbreaking history. Mexican wine country rivals Tuscany for gorgeousness.
It's archeological sites—the remnants of great empires, unrivaled anywhere. And as much as we think we know and love it, we have barely scratched the surface of what Mexican food really is. It is NOT melted cheese over tortilla chips. It is not simple, or easy. It is not simply “bro food” at halftime.
It is in fact, old—older even than the great cuisines of Europe, and often deeply complex, refined, subtle, and sophisticated. A true mole sauce, for instance, can take DAYS to make, a balance of freshly (always fresh) ingredients painstakingly prepared by hand. It could be, should be, one of the most exciting cuisines on the planet, if we paid attention.
The old school cooks of Oaxaca make some of the more difficult and nuanced sauces in gastronomy. And some of the new generation—many of whom have trained in the kitchens of America and Europe—have returned home to take Mexican food to new and thrilling heights.
It’s a country I feel particularly attached to and grateful for. In nearly 30 years of cooking professionally, just about every time I walked into a new kitchen, it was a Mexican guy who looked after me, had my back, showed me what was what, and was there—and on the case—when the cooks like me, with backgrounds like mine, ran away to go skiing or surfing or simply flaked. I have been fortunate to track where some of those cooks come from, to go back home with them.
To small towns populated mostly by women—where in the evening, families gather at the town’s phone kiosk, waiting for calls from their husbands, sons and brothers who have left to work in our kitchens in the cities of the North.
I have been fortunate enough to see where that affinity for cooking comes from, to experience moms and grandmothers preparing many delicious things, with pride and real love, passing that food made by hand from their hands to mine.
In years of making television in Mexico, it’s one of the places we, as a crew, are happiest when the day’s work is over. We’ll gather around a street stall and order soft tacos with fresh, bright, delicious salsas, drink cold Mexican beer, sip smoky mezcals, and listen with moist eyes to sentimental songs from street musicians. We will look around and remark, for the hundredth time, what an extraordinary place this is.
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GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!
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Why the FUCK are anons so disrespectful to slasher writers?
You know what I just discovered? That someone sent a fucking death threat to @slasherrabbitmadness. For fucking what? For taking so much time to write incredibly long and detailed fanfictions about slashers, theoretical relationships and smut with the reader? For being honest about her writing preferences and saying that she only writes for female readers? For going beyond fluff material and exploring the darker aspects of the slashers the wrote about? Whatever the fucking reason that shithead anon thought was a reasonable idea to send this woman death threats is never going to be a good fucking reason.
I'm about to go on a fucking list on what the fuck is wrong with you specifically bitch ass anons who think they're fuckin' slick.
ENTITLEMENT TO OTHERS' WORKS:
First of all, these are writers who are writing for the fandom on their own accord. They're using their own skills, on their own time, and most importantly for their own pleasure. Everyone else's validation of their work comes SECOND. NOBODY is entitled to the time and skill from any fucking artist because they're human beings too. If a writer doesn't wanna write something, they don't fucking have to.
Oh now what are you anons gonna do? You gonna fucking cry? Get the fuck over it, and tuck your crocodile tears back into your ass crack. Not every writer has the time or interest for all of your requests and that's entirely fine because you simply cannot make someone do something they literally don't have to do anyway. That's life.
If you're sitting up here and harassing writers because they literally just didn't feel like doing your dinky ass request, move the fuck on and stop mentally reverting back to your kindergarten self. Your dumb, toilet clogged brain chooses to dehumanize writers from being people into the image of animals or robots who were built for your liking, and you need to fucking stop that if you wanna get on anyone's good side.
A writer listening to your request and DOING IT is a privilege in its own right, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO NOTHING. When writers write for you, you say thank you. When they don't, leave it at that and close your mouth.
These type of anons seem to wake up and expect the world to bend over backwards, create a buffet and kiss their cheesy anus when they should really be just grateful when any writer gives them time of the day and leave it the fuck at that.
BULLYING TOWARDS DARKER FICS:
I'm talking about fics that include the list of yandere, drug use, noncon, kidnap, and abuse themes. The issue with these themes is less that writers explore these concepts when writing about slashers, but more that anons and some blogs in general feel the need to bully writers who choose to explore these areas in their works. Random anons seem to bully writers who do noncon, abuse and/or yandere fics involving slashers because they're drunk on the fluffy side of the fandom while seemingly forgetting that these are SLASHERS.
I'm going to remind everyone in this fandom that slashers are NOT good people.
Michael got boners from murdering people in the novel, and even in the movies he's incredibly perverted.
Freddy Kruger consistently flirts with his victims. He literally kissed people against their will.
Jason Voorhees kidnapped a girl and became obsessed with her because she looked like his mom in the 2009 remake.
Billy Lenz invaded a sorority home, sexually harassed them, and is heavily implied to have sexually abused both his sister and the girl found dead in the park.
Bubba Sawyer held his chainsaw to a girl's pussy and let her live because he got horny. He was still ready to have her killed when Drayton said she had to be sacrificed for grandpa (the second movie).
Bo Sinclair straps people in his sex dungeon and is heavily implied to do "things" to them against their will.
Asa Emory, the Collector, was about to grope that one girl's tiddies in the first movie. Jesse Cromeans literally sexually abuses his victims for snuff films.
Brahms Heelshire was NOT going to let Greta leave without giving him a "real kiss" during the scene of her tucking him in bed.
And that's not even all of the perverted, and dark shit slashers do. All the writers who create darker stories really want to do is express how deeply disturbed many of the slashers canonically are in their works. They're bringing attention to the fact that probably the vast majority of slashers totally fucking would hold you hostage, at the very least. But as I mentioned before, many people seem to prefer the "softer" sides of the slashers. This isn't necessarily a bad thing because some people just prefer reading the more "average" stuff while some writers just don't like to write about darker things. That is A-okay.
But when people start harassing writers who write about darker themes just because "omg that is gross, how could you???" while turning around and dreaming about fucking and kissing Jason-kill count over 200-Voorhees, it just makes me wonder as to how people even got to that mindset.
Based on what I've seen, many people who hate darker fics about slashers to the point of bullying and wishing death to the writers has to do with many things.
First is the fact that lots of people in the slasher fandom actually either never paid close attention to or even WATCHED the movies to help themselves understand WHY some writers would write them in a "certain" way. Even if you never watched Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Boy, or whatever and you simply don't get what some people write about the slashers, your own confusion is absolutely no reason to harass people and I cannot fucking believe I have to explain this.
"But I'm a kid! You can't write that because I'll see it!!".
Get. The fuck. Out of here.
Below is a screenshot to prove my second point:
Another is many people, again, simply being full of shit. Some blogs and users have a strong holier-than-thou attitude about writers in the slasher fandom to the point where they feel the need to go in their targets' inboxes and insult them. Despite wanting fluffy content in their feed and easily having the ability to literally not read works with evil themes, these people feel SO empowered by their own preference that they ever so just "must" dictate what the fuck other people write and draw despite the source material consistently showing that we're dealing with fictional, murderous, and mentally unstable characters.
If other writers or users in the fandom aren't interpreting the slashers to how YOU think they should be interpreted, they apparently have to be burned at the stake....(sarcasm).
I'm going to go ahead and wrap this up by wishing the comfortability and safety of ANY writer who's been harassed by randos in their inbox
Just to name a few at the top of my head:
@supremethunda gets an honorable mention even though she's from the Marvel fandom. This is because she talked to me about the harassment towards writers in the Marvel fandom whenever they write fics with darker themes as well, and others can attest that the harassment there is even worse.
There are other people that have been harassed by some really rude anons before, but people sending one of my friends threats just hit the nerve for me to post this.
There needs to be more anons with humbleness, patience, appreciation towards the people they're requesting from because for fuck's sakes, they're human beings too. They have jobs, hobbies, friends, family and emotions. Is it SO hard to be fucking nice? It's not, so don't be stupid to these people and remember to use respect.
That being said, Happy Monday, and remember to stay horny for slashers.
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A person becomes ten times more attractive not by their looks, but by their acts of kindness, love, respect, honesty and loyalty they show.
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Hey don’t be a dick and if someone tells you their pronouns fucking you then you dipshit.
Examples of how to use pronouns:
She is lovely and their hair is just so beautiful.
They are very handsome and I bet he gets so many compliments
They are not confused leave them alone.
All pronouns (they/she/he)
He is lovely and her taste in music is wonderful. I need to ask them where they got those shoes though.
Be a good human and do better
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We hear "sex is empowering" being preached so much but no one thinks of mentioning the fact that sex *with a partner who is not an asshole* is empowering. No one teaches young people that the dating pool can be very, very toxic and that sex with the wrong person can actually be extremely damaging.
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you can disagree with someone’s choices and still honour their right to make them.
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Free Jungkook from your homophobia, more like.
Homophobic hateful behavior. That’s what it is when a man is telling you out loud who he loves and you’d rather deflect, avoid, deny and invalidate. You’d rather scream at his employer, hate his lover, and call him a liar than listen to the man you say you love. You’re wrong. It’s wrong. No argument you have is valid at this point. You believe him or you choose to deny him on the basis of your prejudice against him. That’s it.
When people choose to actively denigrate, invalidate and hate on an individual due to their perceived or obvious sexual orientation and/or choice of partner, those people are not fans. Those people are by definition haters, antis and bullies. You are perpetrating homophobic abusive bullshit on two men who have done nothing but love you, entertain you and work for you and you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Does Jungkook need to be freed from shippers? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to free him from Taekook when he has explicitly said they’re not close like that. It wouldn’t hurt to free him from Jinkook hard shippers who don’t understand platonic love vs. sexual love. But really neither of those or any other ships really give Jungkook much lost sleep, I don’t think. He’s not worried about y’all because guess what? Toxic TKKers aside, y’all affect his personal life about zero percent of the time.
Idol training prepares these men – all of them – for shipping, for fan interaction and fanservice, for the duality of image they are expected to present. That duality is a learned skill, kids. The level of camera intrusion into a successful idol’s life is insane and they are taught how to handle that and what to show the public with the assumption that everything will always be shown to the public. Are exceptions made? Of course. All the time. Editing does happen. Some stuff gets left on the floor. We freak out when things make it to the public without taking into consideration the number of people it takes to sign off on those decisions.
That’s why moments like Rose Bowl and 2018 MAMA are so major – there wasn’t time to edit those things. They were caught live and available globally within moments of their capture. But Hickeygate and They Look Exceptionally Close Today and Neck Stroke Holiday Dynamite were crafted products deliberately shown to us by BigHit/Hybe, in packaged products. Hell they reclaimed Rose Bowl and stuck it in DVD format and you don’t think that was a calculated move?
Read that again – they CHOSE TO SHOW US THIS. DELIBERATELY. WITH SIGNOFFS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS AND ARTIST/MANAGEMENT INPUT. ONE MORE TIME IN THE BACK THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE THEY ARE NOT HIDING THIS IS AS OUT AS WE ARE GONNA GET WITHOUT A SEX TAPE OR A WEDDING VIDEO.
BUT some fans are stupid and some of us – a distressing number - are violently and virulently anti-LGBTQ+. And before you start the “my brother is gay don’t” I CAN AND I AM BECAUSE YOU ARE. You may love your gay bro. Hell you might be gay yourself – internalized homophobia is real. But let’s face it – if your problem is that Jungkook is being shipped with Jimin then why is that a problem? What makes you mad we gonna call out an actual admitted hickey from the giggling-ass involved adult parties? Why is making a hickey a romantic, sexual thing wrong?
BECAUSE TWO DICKS ARE INVOLVED AND YOU ARE NOT. That’s why, kids. And not just any dicks. His dick and yep, his dick too and guess what, hard-ons happened and were likely dealt with as a result JUST LIKE IT GOES ON A REGULAR BASIS. A neck mark like that is clear evidence of sexual activity and that is what has your homophobia acting up. Because whether you admit it or not you know exactly what it means. And why you might be fine with it being with a girl JUST NOT WITH JIMIN. Denying it with “my brother does it to me” makes you look like a liar or an incest victim and I hope for your sake it’s the former. Making it a cover for a girl just makes you gross in your str8 agenda and I hope you choke on it.
Does Jungkook even find women attractive? I haven’t seen evidence of that – I’ve seen more of that from Jimin, actually – but he might. Very well could. Bisexuality and pansexuality exist and as a member of the latter community it’s more common than you think. But Jungkook openly and clearly finds men – one man in particular – more attractive than anyone else. He is absolutely, most assuredly doing the sexy gay sex with one Park Jimin whether you like it or not. Is now, has been for at least four or five years, possibly longer. Stan a man who believes in true love and a long term relationship, it’s healthy for everyone. Good for you.
Free Jungkook. Free Jungkook from dumbass homophobic bullshit. Free him from people who don’t love and support him and his orientation and his relationship. Free him from everybody except Park Jimin because they have a date to go to the moon, a deserted island, and their own damn bed without us. And after all this I hope they do.
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