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#restricted and trapped
wehaveallgotknives · 1 year
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I’ll stop goncharov posting soon but can I just say how fascinating it is to me that the genre we picked was cold war mafia movie? because if you had asked the internet a month ago what kind of film tumblr would invent, if tumblr were to invent a film, the answers would have been way more woke. a queer coming of age romance or a sexy heist with a super diverse cast or live action infinity train or whatever.
instead, the hive mind, the collective, latched on to something with much narrower boundaries, with stricter rules. no cold war mafia movie would have “good gay rep” or “a happy ending”, like you might expect tumblr to want. we want, we made, something rife with hidden truths, deception and manipulation, suppressed and sublimated emotions. it’s a movie rife with symbolism and suggestion, a text that needs to be unpicked and puzzled over, not one that spoonfeeds us a morally pure protagonist.
the website famous for our shithouse reading comprehension made this complex metatext about methods of interpreting an ambiguous artwork and that’s given me more hope for humanity than I’ve gotten from the internet in a long goddamn time
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heraldofcrow · 3 months
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Ok, I need to say something and get it off my chest while I actually have some energy.
I know what I want to change for the new year…even though normally I don’t really care for the idea of resolutions because to me there is no guarantee that the turn of a year implies change. I just think everyone should grow at their own pace and transform when they are ready. But my current catharsis just happens to be taking place now, so I’ll make it a resolution. A resolution about creativity.
My energy as a fandom creative has been incredibly low this year, which is weird for me. I have been in quite a few fandoms over the years, but the ones I actively decided to participate in were always fun outlets for me to improve things like my writing and actually make room for my energy. I used to write absurdly long analyses and metas in other fandoms for my own enjoyment and get into in-depth discussions with people about lore, story, themes, or whatever else would come up because that’s where I thrived. I was always the essay spammer lol. I miss the energy that was fueling me then. Something happened to it, and I wonder if it’s because I changed from “writing for myself” to “writing for the fandom” at some point.
Don’t get me wrong, I always loved supportive communities that help you grow and develop in some arena of art. I need that as a person because as isolate and introverted as I can be about my interests, I do have this side that craves the thrill of sharing passion and excitement with others. I love when I create something and other people like it too…I mean, who doesn’t?
That’s a huge part of fandom and of course I am here for that support system, but I don’t want to make my goal to be about supplying content for a fandom.
Just about a year and a half ago I started messing around with drawing for the first time in my life. I had attempted to doodle and scribble as a kid, but it was stick figure stuff. I never was serious. But the urge to depict specific pictures in my head was overpowering. I had to buckle down and watch some tutorials to get anywhere, but I did get…somewhere.
I don’t draw even slightly near the level I want to yet, but I’m glad I practice and learn new little tricks every so often. I just need to break down walls, especially the walls I have been hitting recently. These walls stop me from getting better. They kill my interest in writing. I have trouble responding to people and their conversations with me in fandom…when people express interest in my opinions, I shut down and hide. I don’t put the effort I used to into analysis or research. I am stuck and it is smothering my creativity.
My drawing and writing won’t improve until I stop being scared about challenging myself or being willing to branch out.
That’s my resolution. I need to stop doing stuff for a fandom. I need to smack myself upside the head and genuinely draw whatever the fuck I want and not to create content like a YouTuber. The reason I used to write metas or get into long lore convos with people so confidently is because I was passionate about it and not because I was trying to put something on a platform.
It’s not necessarily that I have been doing this YouTuber thing all year, but I know for certain that the stupid fandom idea of “having a role” or “being The Guy for a certain character” has craftily snuck itself into my head. I adore Bloodborne, I love my Bloody Crow, but I also fucking love Dark Souls, I love Demon’s Souls, I love Elden Ring, I love LOTR, I love Arcane, I love FF7, I love dozens of other films, books, shows, stories…
…I love so much and I want to draw stuff for all of it, I want to write for all of it, I want to express my thoughts on it. I am a subtle participant in plenty of fandoms if they aren’t too toxic, but I have restricted myself to Bloodborne because I felt “safe” about “creating content” here. I also felt a necessity at times.
But truthfully? I am going to suffocate if I force myself to restrict my creativity to one fandom forever. No, I don’t intend to leave it, because I do love it here and I want to still enjoy the community. I also still want this blog to be Soulsborne oriented while my sideblogs are for other fandoms, but that’s just for the sake of my own interest in organization, not because I have to. That’s because I fucking love Soulsborne and its fandom and I want to stay here to share and create. Not because I have to.
I have been hanging around the Soulsborne community for over ten years now…it’s just an infinite vat of creativity and inspiration. I want to contribute because it’s fun. I need to stop limiting myself to the ONE game though. It’s killing the ability to improve my drawing because I don’t truly always want to draw everything from this game. Sometimes I just want to draw knights from Dark Souls.
Sometimes I want to practice drawing armor and not Bloodborne style get-ups. I just want room and space to explore. There is plenty of variety in Bloodborne yes, but it has to be variety I am passionate about or I will half-ass it. I need that option.
It’s the same with writing. My writer’s block has been horrible this year because once I actually started sharing my fan-fiction for the first time, I felt that pressure of having readers and I wanted to make sure everything I put out was perfect. This kills my motivation. It’s utterly deadly. I actually am fine with my writing normally and am very comfortable with improving it through practice, but whenever I succumbed to the likely nonexistent external pressure, I suddenly couldn’t finish editing to save my life.
I need to be free of this and be able to enjoy my fandoms. I need them. 2023 was one of the hardest years of my life. I was so miserable so often, and it’s during those times when I really want a safe space to run and create. It helps me “regenerate.” But if I’m polluting my own safe space with pressure and worry, then what do I have left?
And so yeah, that’s my goal for this next year and the years to come. I want my old energy and passion back, to use this little online outlet to grow and learn more about drawing, writing, and whatever else catches my fancy. I won’t pressure myself about this either, but I hope it comes naturally if I take it slow and try to unlock my brain from the narrow way of thinking.
No more playing into a role. I just need to be free and enjoy myself.
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todayisafridaynight · 14 days
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everyday i constantly think of masato's wheelchair and if that's his only one/main one no wonder he's so pissed at everyone
#snap chats#someone pointed this out to me like last year so im stealing it sorry cause I Think Of It Constantly#the handling of masato's disability will forever annoy me esp with how vague it is but esp his chair#one day ill draw masato with an appropriate wheelchair. maybe then he'll be happy for once#in a way i guess it could tie into how restricted or trapped he felt since the type of chair he's shown is more like. a hospital one#and not one youd really use as a regular user- like in that vein it is a bit of storytelling in that he can ONLY go out with help#since hospital chairs are SO much different from home chairs ESPECIALLY in regards to mobility and independence the user has#AND NOT TO MENTION HOW UNCOMFORTABLE THOSE CHAIRS ARE get his ass a proper cushion P L E A S E#like it portrays the idea that its unfathomable for him to go anywhere on his own and so in that vein . Interesting Storytelling#theres a lot of implications going on here if im so honest and again it makes for Really Interesting Story Telling#however i refuse to give rgg credit like that when it comes to disabilities. ... they havent earned that from me yet#see this is why the vagueness of his condition annoys me because he's shown to be independent enough to roll himself to his elevator#and presumably get himself dressed but he cant have a proper chair ?#because ik there are people who have expressed they have conditions where even writing is tiring#so if his condition was in-line with that and it was hard for him to push himself in his chair then i could buy it#obviously the issue lies with his lungs but i just want to know the full extent yk...#to wrap this up tho ive been thinking of character design in rgg and how we dont give credit to it enough#sooooo if i make a second post ten minutes from now thats why cause i keep forgetting to spam my thoughts on here LMAO#ok bye
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thegalaxyracoon · 1 year
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I can't be the only one who notices how each of the brothers are being restricted somehow?
Like Lucifer, Mammon, and Beel all looked caged/barred
Levi is restricted by Henry 1
Satan is handcuffed to the pole
Asmo is being restricted by thorned vines
And belphegor is chained
I feel like this has a deeper meaning
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Grand jury declines to indict Ohio woman who miscarried of abusing a corpse | The Washington Post
By Kim Bellware
An Ohio grand jury has declined to indict Brittany Watts, the 34-year-old woman charged with abusing a corpse after experiencing a miscarriage at home in a case that drew national attention to the ways women may be criminalized for their pregnancy outcomes in a post-Dobbs landscape.
The Trumbull County grand jury that had been investigating Watts’s case for a month on Thursday returned what’s known as a “no bill” for felony abuse of a corpse charges; as a result, charges against Watts will be immediately dismissed.
Trumbull County prosecutor Dennis Watkins said through a spokesperson that he plans to address the grand jury’s decision within the next day. Watkins was widely criticized for pursuing the case against Watts and was last month urged by medical and legal professionals to drop the case.
Neither Watts nor her lawyer, Traci Timko, responded to request for comment Thursday.
In a statement, Yveka Pierre, senior counsel at If/When/How, a group of reproductive rights lawyers that provided legal support in Watts’s case, said she was relieved to see the end of a “dehumanizing” case against Watts.
“Brittany should have been able to focus on taking care of herself after her pregnancy loss. She should have been able to process, and grieve with her family and community” Pierre said. “Instead, she was arrested and charged with a felony.”
Ohio Physicians for Reproductive Rights (OPRR), among the chief professional groups to condemn Watts’s charges, in a statement hailed the grand jury’s decision as a “firm step against the dangerous trend of criminalizing reproductive outcomes.”
Lauren Beene, a doctor and co-founder of OPRR, told The Washington Post Thursday that charging pregnant people like Watts who are in the midst of life-threatening complications and devastating pregnancy losses can have a chilling effect on health care; women may not be able to get the care they need or be afraid to seek out the care they need, leading to negative outcomes like higher maternal mortality.
Watts’s case also drew attention to Ohio’s existing Targeted Restrictions on Abortion Providers (TRAP) laws. Despite Ohio voters last year approving Issue 1, a law enshrining the right to abortion in Ohio’s constitution, there are about 30 TRAP laws on the books that have not been repealed and that interfere with reproductive care, Beene said.
“If people are miscarrying like Watts was and the fetus still has a heartbeat but it’s a nonviable fetus, Issue 1 should protect her,” Beene said. “But without taking down the TRAP laws, like the fetal heartbeat law, health care institutions may be afraid to provide the care and may not understand what they can and can’t do.”
The Post previously reconstructed Watts’s days leading up to her miscarriage, drawing on medical records, call recordings and interviews with Watts and her lawyer.
Watts miscarried at home last September after four days in and out of the hospital where she had been told her nearly 22-week pregnancy was not viable. There was still detectable fetal cardiac activity, which complicated how quickly a decision could be made to induce Watts, despite doctors indicating she was at increasing risk of death. Abortion in Ohio remains legal up to 22 weeks.
At home, Watts delivered a roughly 15-ounce fetus over the toilet. When blood, stool and tissue from the delivery clogged the toilet, Watts removed what she believed was blocking the flow and placed the contents in a bucket outdoors, records show. When she returned to the hospital after her delivery, a nurse who inquired about the fetus later reported Watts to police.
Police eventually removed Watts’s toilet and found the fetus lodged in the pipes. Timko, Watts’s attorney, said her client had no criminal record and was being “demonized for something that goes on every day,” but a municipal judge found there was evidence to bind Watts’s case over for a grand jury investigation.
A coroner’s report later confirmed the fetus died in utero and was not injured by Watts’s actions. Neither prosecutors nor health care workers who treated Watts disputed that her pregnancy loss was natural.
The decision to charge Watts sparked concerns among women’s health advocates and others that the risk of being criminalized for pregnancy outcomes was growing. On Thursday before the grand jury announcement, a rally in support of Watts had been scheduled in the Warren Courthouse Square. A fundraiser for Watts that began in December has raised more than $230,000.
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godsfavoritescientist · 2 months
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So there's this webserial called 'worm' about a world where superpowers started suddenly showing up in the 70's, and I'm trying so hard to think of a way to merge it with the stans-and-fidds 70s-and-80s plot events. The thing is, powers are caused by going through a traumatic event, and the powers are tied to both that event and to the person's various issues in ways that sometimes seems cruelly ironic. So you see my dilemma here, with there being so many options for events that could've given these guys powers
#godsrambles#fidds is easy: within worm's power classification system he'd be a tinker#which is where you get a superpowered understanding of how to create things that would otherwise be impossible#e.g. making killer robots far more advanced than current science is capable of#if working on the portal was what gave him powers though...... he could either get tinker powers specifically related to making portals#or if it was the greloblin then somethjng related to memory erasing#for stan. idk what would be the most upsetting. shapeshifting restricted to looking like other humans probably.#great for evading the law and for pretending to be ford for 30 years though#oh maybe ford would get precognition. ability to see hundreds of potential futures#maybe in combination with no longer needing to sleep. able to trap himself in literally endless rumination as he tries to figure out-#-how to stop bill#none of these are the Fun Flashy kind of powers though. stan would have fun with fire powers#oh wait. even worse for stan: powers that evoke leeches. able to temporarily steal or drain powers from others or something#or able to copy others' powers permanently in a weaker form than the original power. and he can have multiple weak powers at a time#in this world the mob would have powered folks in it of course so maybe a situation involving them could cause that power#OR. if his powers happened in the aftermath of the portal incident.#ability to teleport anything and anyone within his line of sight directly to him.#he'd be mad for 30 years straight about not getting that power before ford fell through the portal#that or the ability to summon common tools out of nowhere. such as a long rope#idk the powers are always very specific. pretty sure no one following me knows what worm is.#but you can at least appreciate the exercise of thinking up what powers would deal the most psychic damage to these guys
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castielafflicted · 3 months
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when i said i was into choking i did not mean my cat laying partly on my neck. stella this does not feel safe sane consensual
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skeletalheartattack · 6 months
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Favourite personal weapon?
(you CANNOT say battleaxe!)
probably scythe. like i know it's not really good at all for like. combat. but like look at that shit. pretty dope blade while i hold the stick. sooo cool.
#ask#anon#im not sure anything else really compares. i dont honestly think about real life weapons that much really that said.#not without being like. shotgun. or double barreled shotgun. atleast if were restricted to melee combat here.#most games i tend to play shotgun a lot#except tf2 recently where ive been shooting pee darts and donking folks with cannon balls#granted. i range from class to class with no real like... goal? whatever fits the situation and that im confident in.#like i like playing soda popper milk fan o war scout a lot. i like playing pee sniper w/ shahanshah.#for demo i tend to always go loose cannon scottish resistance scottish handshake#scottish resistance cause i like coating a battlefield with stickies and just doing my best to detonate them when i think its important to#fucking hate sticky spamming btw. valve had the right idea nerfing that shit when they did. yknow. before they reverted it.#those things should be doing 60 damage when spammed... and like can do 144 after like a second or two or whatever#that way it punishes spamming and rewards using them as traps#but then the people who have sticky stranges would get mad or whatever. idk. its weird to me that valve reverted the nerf somewhat#it does a lot of damage and you dont gotta even hit the enemy directly with the projectile. so its an easy weapon.#idk.#for heavy i dont have a real loadout im happy with. i tend to go brass beast family business and eviction notice#ik tomislav is like the best overall minigun but. idk.#eviction notice really sucks but once someones pestering me up close i really like to chase them down while punching them#since most of the 9 classes cant get out of range. ive managed to do it a bunch despite how much i dont like the weapon.#like. i wish it didnt have the max health drain. id prefer if like. i couldnt be overhealed if i had them equipped.#the slight speed increase is. okay. paired with the increase in speed when hitting a player.#though if it was simplified. id add those two stats together for the on hit attribute.#so like... less damage. faster swing speed. faster movement when hitting an enemy for a second. and no overheal when equipped.#instead of it just being a weirder worse gru.#that way its just about punishing players who get too close. and makes you weaker if youve got a medic. since you cant be overhealed.#soldier... i just use rocket launcher/black box panic attack and whip. nothing really unique about my playstyle with him.#engineer. panic attack pistol gunslinger or jag.#im no good with the widowmaker and i like having 6 shots so id rather not use the frontier justice.#anyway im at the tag limit. thank you for the ask anon!!!
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noirapocalypto · 9 months
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I don't think I've never going to feel comfortable talking about my OC's in depth or sharing my lore.
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the-ramblings-of · 2 months
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i'll be like...ok here is my 11 month plan to drop 25 pounds including a detailed outline of how i'm going to prevent myself from b/ping 10,00+ calories every other day. and then be like. but starting monday obviously *proceeds to spend the next 6 hours in a b/p cycle* :)))))
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I asked at the zoo if it was legal to kill house sparrows and apparently it's not??!i didn't fully understand but the girl there told me that there is no plan of action against them so i can't do anything so :(((
But apparently there is one for pigeons so maybe i look into that? Idk
What country are you in?
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divalestat · 8 months
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iwtv twitter discourse be ruining my day like some ppl actually have no brain cells i fear...
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sbartdump · 9 months
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tumblr tag comments, to me, used to feel like secret little messages for the op
but now it feels like you're not just talking to me, but when you say "this art looks so cool!" it's more like you're telling everyone who follows you that my art looks cool :-)
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takemetodragonstone · 7 months
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biggest disappointment of my life was when i bought a weighted blanket to help me sleep and ease my nighttime anxiety only to discover that the feeling of being crushed beneath the blanket is just another thing that gives me anxiety and prevents me from sleep. 🙃 there is no winning
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“I was a river,” he said after a terrible silence. “Dammed against my will into a lake. I could not break the confines of my dam, and so … and so I reconciled myself to being a lake. Eventually I learned how to be still”. (Victoria Goddard; The Redoubtable Pali Avramapul (The Red Company Reformed Book 2)
WOW!
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wavesoakedmaiden · 6 months
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Oops All Caster BG3 run has been good for many reasons when it comes to forcing me to change up how I play
but it's biggest contribution has been when it comes to Wyll where he's been promoted to being *checks notes* the perfect man whom I'd die for. And also the only companion that I'd actually date IRL 10/10 would swoon again. Proof being too nice for ones own good is a character flaw that can be done well.
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